Need advise, about a girl

[juicedus]

So here's some background info. I live with 2 girls, 1 is my ex-girlfriend from freshman year and the other is her friend, who I've also known since freshman year. Freshman year was 1999.

The ex-girlfriend is annoying as hell now, no need to say anything about living with an ex, I already get enough from my friends. The other one is cool as hell, basically with out each other we would have gone crazy living with the ex.

The longer I live with the other girl the more I like her. She's a really great person and we get along great. Last friday night we all went out like usual and had a great time. The ex left with her b/f, who was visiting, becasue she was very drunk. After that me and the other roomie were talking and next thing I know we're making out.

So here's my problem, I don't know what to do. After we were done kissing she brought up the fact that it was wrong cuz we have to live with each other. She kept saying that she likes me and all that stuff but that we can't do anything cuz of the living situation. I graduate in may so I've still got a couple of months of living with her, and the ex doesn't know about what happened yet. The question is, do I leave well enough alone and pretend nothing happend or do I ask her about it and try to get something started?

I'm open to anyones suggestion.

[Blue Velvet]

While you're all living together, a situation like this could be explosive...

If you're truly serious about this girl, then wait till your ex is out of the picture.

Give it time. Don't push anything... The situation will become clearer over the coming days and weeks.

But don't openly reject the other girl either. Remember, that she is also your ex's friend and may be more inclined to side with her if things get difficult. You may then find yourself at the business-end of a horrible triangle...

[Lacero]

I don't see how anything positive will come out of this situation. Are you still active with your ex?

[2A Batterie]

You're a rock star man. Sorry for the lack of advice, but rock on!!

[miloblithe]

Proceeding slowly is good advice, but I'd also have to advize you to proceed. You're young man; now is the time in your life to have some drama! I'd draw your attention to the saying, "the funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret doing something than it is to regret not doing something."

or words to that effect.

[juicedus]

Well since we've all been living together the other girl and I are pretty good friends now. And I'm not doing anything with the ex, she has a b/f. The thing about the ex is that we don't really act like we've dated since it was so long ago and it was a short relationship. She's just tough person to live with, very self-centered. Yesterday we all went out, me the 2 roomies and the ex's b/f, to dinne and a movie and had a great time the only thing is that she kept avoiding eye contact and such. I'm thinking I'll just let her be for a while. I kinda just wanna talk things out with her when we're sober and the ex is not around.

[Blue Velvet]

She's just (a) tough person to live with, very self-centered.

A very good reason for not getting on the wrong side of her. Although she may have a current boyfriend, the reality of seeing you with her friend may cause her to flip out.

I kinda just wanna talk things out with her when we're sober and the ex is not around.

That is most definitely the best way to approach this.
Choose your words carefully...

[jsw]

Best of luck resolving things. My take, based on very little evidence, just what you've written, is that she likes you but might not like you, at least not now. In other words, she probably enjoyed making out but doesn't really want a relationship. Maybe the "we live together" thing is real, maybe it's just an excuse. I definitely agree to take it very slow and give her space. If the chemistry is real, the fact that you live together isn't a negative. But... if you jump the gun, it'd be just a bucket of fun to be living in an apartment with two exes, wouldn't it?

[stubeeef]

Dude, you are brave!

Good luck, you'll need it!

[vollspacken]

You're a rock star man. Sorry for the lack of advice, but rock on!!

exactly... girls come and go.

you are graduating in May? so what are you waiting for??? you will never see them/her again anyways... go get her, tiger! otherwise you'll regret it later...

vSpacken

[juicedus]

Based on what everyone has said I think I've figured out what I'm going to do. I don't wanna rush it so I'll just leave her be for a few days and when the ex is off at work or something I'll talk to her about it. I guess I just really wanna know where I stand and how she feels. So we'll see what happens, I'll keep you guys posted on what happens.

[virividox]

yikes!!! hmmm i think you need to sit down and have a good talk with the both of them. but then dont be scared of the ex shes an adult she should be able to handle stuff

[greenmeanie]

3 some !!!!

[AmigoMac]

You're a rock star man. Sorry for the lack of advice, but rock on!!

:D :D ... Hard Rock!

Tell the other girl what you feel! be honest, propose her what you think you both could do in the meantime, just stop and wait if you both would like to be together? hey! it's a decision of two if you tell her everything as it is, if you want to go out with her why wait till may? I personally don't see a point, speak to her...

[mymemory]

Dude, just to give you some background, I am latin american and the term "latin lover" is because of something we know.

Now you are all set, but becareful because you are falling in to the game of the women (tragedy, drama, etc) and here is when you can show her how cool you are... she is testing you in her subconcience to see how much integrity and male you are because women look for that reability on men specially when taking descisions.

Now, all you have to do is be cool, just tell her "relax" I like you, you like me, we are having fun, do not get complicated. Beside's you ex has another bf, seh moved on, now is your turn.

Then buy a bottle of Bacardi Rum, then the Piña Colada mix and fix her a piña colada and everything is fine.

Do not fall in to dramas, rememebr you are the guy who "turn on and off the light", take positions and everything is just fine.

[Blue Velvet]

Now you are all set, but becareful because you are falling in to the game of the women (tragedy, drama, etc) and here is when you can show her how cool you are... she is testing you in her subconcience to see how much integrity and male you are because women look for that reability on men specially when taking descisions.


Your ignorance and casual misogyny is truly disturbing...

[Lacero]

Good luck on how it turns out... although I think you are setting yourself up for failure, regardless of how much you like this girl.

[obeygiant]

So here's some background info. I live with 2 girls, 1 is my ex-girlfriend from freshman year and the other is her friend, who I've also known since freshman year. Freshman year was 1999.

The ex-girlfriend is annoying as hell now, no need to say anything about living with an ex, I already get enough from my friends. The other one is cool as hell, basically with out each other we would have gone crazy living with the ex.

The longer I live with the other girl the more I like her. She's a really great person and we get along great. Last friday night we all went out like usual and had a great time. The ex left with her b/f, who was visiting, becasue she was very drunk. After that me and the other roomie were talking and next thing I know we're making out.

So here's my problem, I don't know what to do. After we were done kissing she brought up the fact that it was wrong cuz we have to live with each other. She kept saying that she likes me and all that stuff but that we can't do anything cuz of the living situation. I graduate in may so I've still got a couple of months of living with her, and the ex doesn't know about what happened yet. The question is, do I leave well enough alone and pretend nothing happend or do I ask her about it and try to get something started?

I'm open to anyones suggestion.


dude, you're asking a bunch of mac nerds advice about women?
I think you're barking up the wrong tree, pal.

[iJon]

Geez, your a senior in college, live with your ex girlfriend and the only other girl your macking on is her best friend that lives in the house with you. That is just asking for trouble. I am surprised you would put yourself through the trouble of living with an ex-girlfriend. I would have been out of there in a heartbeat.

If you start telling this girl you really like her and stuff like that I would almost bet you will scare her off then you are going to be living with two very uncomfortable people. I would suggest you hit some clubs, bars, whatever you do for fun and find a girl that won't cause you so much drama.

jon

[7on]

damnit, why do girls dislike guys liking them?

[Blue Velvet]

damnit, why do girls dislike guys liking them?

Just because... ;) :D





Also, depends on the guy.

George Clooney or Harrison Ford (in his Indy days) can like me as much they want... :)

[edesignuk]

Dude, just to give you some background, I am latin american and the term "latin lover" is because of something we know.muwahahahahahahahahaha http://upload.edesignuk.net/uploaded_data/smilies/rollinglaugh.gif

[Jovian9]

In '99 during college I moved into an apartment with 3 girls that I was friends with. One of the girls was a very good friend and had been for awhile. After about 4 months of living there this particular girl and I began dating.
We are married now:)
It can work out if you and her want it to.

[blackfox]

Juicedus, what are your plans after graduation/May? Are you going to stay where you are now (city, not apt/house)? Do you have specific plans/goals post-graduation? Are you going to take a trip or something?

I ask only because I wonder if it is worth the hassle when you stand back and look at things.

It sounds like you and the girl (not the ex) have bonded, perhaps in solidarity against your ex, something which may or may not dissolve once you all part ways/move out.

The (sometimes genuine) problem with starting a physical relationship with someone you've had a close platonic relationship for a while (six years in your case), is that it is a gamble many people don't want to take, as it involves the potential risk of all you share at the moment. This is not to say that long-term friends don't work out as lovers, or that it is necessarily bad to try, but it is something that should be thought through.

I would have to say that if their is a physical connection (you already have some semblance of a emotional one), then it will still be there in a few months.

With so little contextual information to go on, it is difficult to say, however.
I would try my best to let it go for now and concentrate on having a good time w/ and w/o each other, unless she brings it up or a comparable situation presents itself. Then, in a few months after you've moved, ask her out.

If you can't help but confront this girl, be frank and diplomatic and remember not to make her feel defensive. Then let it go.

Sorry I can't be more helpful here, I don't know (a) your plans after graduation, (b) the importance of said girl to you and why, (c) the nature of the relationship between this girl and your ex, (d) the nature of your relationship with said girl over the long-term, (e) houselhold dynamics, or (f) other possibilities.

BTW, you will appreciate the experience of living with two women as time goes by, and with any luck, so will future gf's...

Good luck mate.

[munkle]

Dude, just to give you some background, I am latin american and the term "latin lover" is because of something we know.

Now you are all set, but becareful because you are falling in to the game of the women (tragedy, drama, etc) and here is when you can show her how cool you are... she is testing you in her subconcience to see how much integrity and male you are because women look for that reability on men specially when taking descisions.

Now, all you have to do is be cool, just tell her "relax" I like you, you like me, we are having fun, do not get complicated. Beside's you ex has another bf, seh moved on, now is your turn.

Then buy a bottle of Bacardi Rum, then the Piña Colada mix and fix her a piña colada and everything is fine.

Do not fall in to dramas, rememebr you are the guy who "turn on and off the light", take positions and everything is just fine.

For this alone, I vote mymemory, aka ricky martin's left buttock, my poster of the month for January. Coupled with his hilarious views on animal cruelty (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=106434), side splitting jokes (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=1243001#post1243001), general love towards the community (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=1240857#post1240857), it's members (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=1240832#post1240832) (here again (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=1238709#post1238709)) and moderators (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=106331), how could this award possibly go to anybody else?!

Stand up and take a bow good sir, you deserve it... :rolleyes:

[Blue Velvet]

side splitting jokes (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=1243001#post1243001)

Hardy har-har..

I definitely rest my case on the misogyny bit... sheesh. :rolleyes:

[vollspacken]

muwahahahahahahahahaha http://upload.edesignuk.net/uploaded_data/smilies/rollinglaugh.gif

Waaaaaharharhar!!!

exactly what I thought... ;)

if there is ONE member on macrumors.com that I would NEVER!!! take "love advice" from, it's mymemory

vSpacken

[juicedus]

Thanks for all the advice. To clear some things up, the ex and I kept in touch for about a year after we broke up then every now and then we bumped into each other and cahted but that was it. The only reason I'm living with them now is b/c i bumped into the ex at a bar one night when i came back to get my other degree last summer. She asked what I was up to and where I was living and I just said I was looking around and she said that her and the other girl were looking for a place and if they could find a reasonable place to live and asked if I wanted in. So of course I said yes for financial reasons. Like I said before the fact that we were together never really comes up, I just call her the ex so other people can distinguish between the two.

The other girl and the ex are just friends, not best friend or anything. Actually the ex gets on her nerves just as much as the ex gets on my nerves. Actually she's told me that I'm her "saving grace" when it comes to dealing with the ex.

The other night one one of the comments she made to me was that she didn't like me when she first met me cuz I wasn't her type but now that she got to know me by living with me and she said she likes me now. Another thing she said after said make-out session was that she adored me and thought I was an awesome guy and we can't do this cuz we live together. Her last b/f was a guy that she used to live with and she said things started out fine but the break-up was bad so I think thats some of the reason she's hesitant.

As for after graduation, I plan on moving to any place I get a job. Not very likely that I'd stay here in Ames. If I don't get a job I'll move back home to the Chicago area.

It just seems like she's kinda ignoring me because she just feels uncomfortable about what happened or she just regrets what happened.

[Blue Velvet]

It just seems like she's kinda ignoring me because she just feels uncomfortable about what happened or she just regrets what happened.

Don't worry about it. Give her space... she's probably assessing her own feelings towards you at the moment and her own behaviour.

It might be good if you left the flat for a while. Go to the movies, go for a walk, visit a friend or spend some time in your room... just take the awkwardness out of the situation.

[Banker]

Whilst women will say it's OK to sleep with their Girlfriend, it's just a hidden game. Guaranteed because you've hurt the Ex that she will break your B***S if you sleep with her Girlfriend. Your New Girlfriend will be constantly reminded of what you did in the past (the negatives)by your Ex.

Safest way to survive till Graduation is tell the New Girlfriend wait until after Graduation. BTW it is OK to go out with the New Girlfriend, but the minute you Bonk her it will be open War with the Ex (well in the sense they will talk and compare notes, which guaranteed will distance you and your New Girlfriend).

These words of wisdom come from a Man who Lived with two women under the same roof, Bonking both of them. Also remember that a woman is an emotional animal and we are not. Further, as your Ex doesn't Bonk her Boyfriend at your place - the same rules apply.

[Blue Velvet]

Also remember that a woman is an emotional animal and we are not.

What a tired load of complete crap.

Are you sure you've spelt your name right?

[Brize]

Are you sure you've spelt your name right?

:D

I love these relationship threads!

[munkle]

:D

I love these relationship threads!

You can just feel the love can't you! :D

[blackfox]

What a tired load of complete crap.
I completely agree, that is a major cop-out and just plain not true.

Are you sure you've spelt your name right?
Hahahaha...good one. I can't remember the last time I heard "bonk" used in a sentence, kinda implies something about the user...

I am once again reminded of how depressing these threads can be, as thrown in with genuine, good advice, which makes me feel good about humanity, is some total sh**e, that just makes me shudder...and I have to work with the resultant preconceptions out in the world. meh.

[Brize]

I can't remember the last time I heard "bonk" used in a sentence, kinda implies something about the user...

In Banker's case, I think he's referring to bonking women over the head with his club, before dragging them back to his cave.

[AmigoMac]

whatever happen, always tell the truth ...

[mymemory]

For this alone, I vote mymemory, aka ricky martin's left buttock, my poster of the month for January. Coupled with his hilarious views on animal cruelty (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=106434), side splitting jokes (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=1243001#post1243001), general love towards the community (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=1240857#post1240857), it's members (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=1240832#post1240832) (here again (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=1238709#post1238709)) and moderators (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=106331), how could this award possibly go to anybody else?!

Stand up and take a bow good sir, you deserve it... :rolleyes:

Oh... thank, thank you, finally an award (snif, sinf). But I couldn't do it without the inspiration of my mentor edesignuk who have been such roll model for all of us to fallow, I think he deserves the entire "buttock" award, but thank you, I hope to be able to do a better job in February. :cool:

[mymemory]

Also remember that a woman is an emotional animal and we are not.

Banker... please go and tell that exact thing to your mom... but wait! tell us first so we can be there... I'll bring my videcamera. LOL :rolleyes:

[MacNeXT]

Ask yourself if you really care about your ex. The situation might get "explosive", or she might "flip out", but do you care? If yes, be careful if your feelings are serious. If no, f*** it and do as you like. Besides, she already has a new boyfriend.

[wdlove]

From reading your posts it seems that you instinctively know what is right. Just continue to follow what you think is right at the time. Play it cool your have your whole life ahead of you. If its meant to be then everything will work out, just relax and enjoy.

[amin]

I think your ex's friend is just not liking you the way you want. Those comments about adoring you, etc. are most likely either meant to swing the power dynamic in her favor or let you down easy. I could be wrong, but that's the sense I get. My advice is similar to most you've gotten here. If you really like her, I think your best chances are to pretend it never happened and that you could care less. This will help you regain some of the power balance it sounds like you have already forked over. I don't see all relationships as an ego struggle, but the early stages generally are, even for George Clooney and the young Harrison Ford :).

[vniow]

For this alone, I vote mymemory, aka ricky martin's left buttock, my poster of the month for January.

[...]

Stand up and take a bow good sir, you deserve it... :rolleyes:

I second this nomination!

After all, he does give good advice in this thread in particular about women, especially since he has had quite (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=24719) the experience (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=25355) in pursuing a mate for himself!

-Ani

[The Past]

While you're all living together, a situation like this could be explosive...

If you're truly serious about this girl, then wait till your ex is out of the picture.

Give it time. Don't push anything... The situation will become clearer over the coming days and weeks.

But don't openly reject the other girl either. Remember, that she is also your ex's friend and may be more inclined to side with her if things get difficult. You may then find yourself at the business-end of a horrible triangle...


Another vote for this.

[rdowns]

Dude, just to give you some background, I am latin american and the term "latin lover" is because of something we know.

Now you are all set, but becareful because you are falling in to the game of the women (tragedy, drama, etc) and here is when you can show her how cool you are... she is testing you in her subconcience to see how much integrity and male you are because women look for that reability on men specially when taking descisions.

Now, all you have to do is be cool, just tell her "relax" I like you, you like me, we are having fun, do not get complicated. Beside's you ex has another bf, seh moved on, now is your turn.

Then buy a bottle of Bacardi Rum, then the Piña Colada mix and fix her a piña colada and everything is fine.

Do not fall in to dramas, rememebr you are the guy who "turn on and off the light", take positions and everything is just fine.

Do you work hard at posts like these or does it just come naturally?

[rdowns]

I second this nomination!

After all, he does give good advice in this thread in particular about women, especially since he has had quite (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=24719) the experience (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=25355) in pursuing a mate for himself!

-Ani

So moved!!

[pseudobrit]

Ignore all this "sit down and have a talk with her and see if you're on the same page... blah blah"

Keep your big mouth shut, play it cool and let the chips fall where they may. When guys talk we just **** stuff up.

[Abstract]

I agree....to a certain extent.

When we talk, we just sound sappy. Girls like guys who are a bit emotional and sensitive, but when they fall for a man, they fall for the manly traits, not because you're like one of her girl friends. There are some guys who act very "girly" (ie: demonstrate much more effeminate traits) when around a girl that he's interested in, but its usually the guys who act like themselves who come out on top. So don't act super-nice..... just BE nice, and act like yourself.

No, don't talk to her right now. Give her time to think and get this sorted in her head, or at least give her time to gain a better understanding of what she wants right now if she can't get it completely sorted. Jump in when you think you have given her enough time, or let her come to you. Don't act too emotional and sappy. Yes, you ARE affected by the situation and events that occurred, but you still need to stay cool and calm......calm like a bomb. :cool:

[2A Batterie]

I'm still playing air guitar and raising my fists in the air! You're a rock star man, and that is all you need! Chugga-Chugga-Wee!

[cyanide]

no powerbook g5's?!?! BOO HOO.. oh am in the wrong thread? thank God, this is the first thing i have read all day without the PBG5 bomb in it. sorry to mention it. anyway, i was in a similar situation this past summer, and i went for it, because i really had a thing for the girl. we are still together today and will be getting married at the end of the summer. the worst case scenario.. she will say "no", the best.. well.. lets keep this open-ended...

[edesignuk]

Oh... thank, thank you, finally an award (snif, sinf). But I couldn't do it without the inspiration of my mentor edesignuk who have been such roll model for all of us to fallow, I think he deserves the entire "buttock" award, but thank you, I hope to be able to do a better job in February. :cool:
Is it me, or do my spidy senses detect that mymemory reeeeeeeeeeealy isn't too fond of me? :D Jesus man, you're making your self look like (more) of a fool. It's really great how munkle can be the one that lays it on thick, yet you still wanna have a dig at me. Bless you dear child.

edit: nothing against you btw munkle ;) :)

[edesignuk]

So moved!!
Motion passed. Next!?

[themadchemist]

Motion passed. Next!?

Actually, there needed to be debate. You can move to pass it my unanimous consent, though, in which case it will pass barring objections (I don't think that motion is debatable). Of course, I imagine mymemory will object.

How about a roll call vote?

My handle on parliamentary procedure is actually much more fuzzy than a number of people I know...Can you believe it?

[pseudobrit]

Actually, there needed to be debate. You can move to pass it my unanimous consent, though, in which case it will pass barring objections (I don't think that motion is debatable). Of course, I imagine mymemory will object.

How about a roll call vote?

My handle on parliamentary procedure is actually much more fuzzy than a number of people I know...Can you believe it?

OKay, we're stepping in; you lot are too unorganised.

This is a PPP matter now, and we rule by fiat, not democracy or bureaucracy.

[vniow]

This is a PPP matter now, and we rule by fiat, not democracy or bureaucracy.

Hey, I don't know about you, but this PPP member rules by Citroen, not Fiat.

[themadchemist]

OKay, we're stepping in; you lot are too unorganised.

This is a PPP matter now, and we rule by fiat, not democracy or bureaucracy.

Rule by bureaucracy is the only way to go! At least, that's what they teach us in America's major universities...Oh, rather, that's what they do in America's major universities. :rolleyes:

[Balin64]

So here's some background info. I live with 2 girls, 1 is my ex-girlfriend from freshman year and the other is her friend, who I've also known since freshman year. Freshman year was 1999.

The ex-girlfriend is annoying as hell now, no need to say anything about living with an ex, I already get enough from my friends. The other one is cool as hell, basically with out each other we would have gone crazy living with the ex.

The longer I live with the other girl the more I like her. She's a really great person and we get along great. Last friday night we all went out like usual and had a great time. The ex left with her b/f, who was visiting, becasue she was very drunk. After that me and the other roomie were talking and next thing I know we're making out.

So here's my problem, I don't know what to do. After we were done kissing she brought up the fact that it was wrong cuz we have to live with each other. She kept saying that she likes me and all that stuff but that we can't do anything cuz of the living situation. I graduate in may so I've still got a couple of months of living with her, and the ex doesn't know about what happened yet. The question is, do I leave well enough alone and pretend nothing happend or do I ask her about it and try to get something started?

I'm open to anyones suggestion.


Mr. Dilemma:

Soon, and too soon may I add dear Lad, you will realize what a wonderful position you are in at the moment... ex girlfriend, current roomie... all things WILL pass, and then you will be devoured by the true one: do you marry her or not? Wait a tad more for the One...? Maybe...? Good Luck Kiddo... AND HAVE FUN! Now is the time to do it! Get a threesome if you can... I dare you!

[themadchemist]

Mr. Dilemma:

Soon, and too soon may I add dear Lad, you will realize what a wonderful position you are in at the moment... ex girlfriend, current roomie... all things WILL pass, and then you will be devoured by the true one: do you marry her or not? Wait a tad more for the One...? Maybe...? Good Luck Kiddo... AND HAVE FUN! Now is the time to do it! Get a threesome if you can... I dare you!

What would you do if you had a million dollars?

I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.

[Damien]

How come everyone but me has this problems? :p

[themadchemist]

How come everyone but me has this problems? :p

Don't worry, I don't either.

[pseudobrit]

Hey, I don't know about you, but this PPP member rules by Citroen, not Fiat.

I thought we requisitioned a few Ferraris from Zimbabwe.
But hey, if you want to have a Xsara, that's fine; I'll keep a 575M instead. Or we just have both. It's not like the PPP can be denied. Mwahahaha!

[topicolo]

I agree....to a certain extent.

When we talk, we just sound sappy. Girls like guys who are a bit emotional and sensitive, but when they fall for a man, they fall for the manly traits, not because you're like one of her girl friends. There are some guys who act very "girly" (ie: demonstrate much more effeminate traits) when around a girl that he's interested in, but its usually the guys who act like themselves who come out on top. So don't act super-nice..... just BE nice, and act like yourself.

No, don't talk to her right now. Give her time to think and get this sorted in her head, or at least give her time to gain a better understanding of what she wants right now if she can't get it completely sorted. Jump in when you think you have given her enough time, or let her come to you. Don't act too emotional and sappy. Yes, you ARE affected by the situation and events that occurred, but you still need to stay cool and calm......calm like a bomb. :cool:


I totally agree about how women like men for their masculine traits. Sometimes being super sensitive and worrying all the time about what the girl is thinking is the opposite way to approach things.

If I were put in this situation, I would probably forget about the roomie by just going out and meeting as many new women as I can. Eventually I'd find someone compatible and settle down into a relationship. Either way, tip toeing around trying to not offend anyone and seeking approval is not the way to go. Being dominant (not domineering) and indifferent will probably lead to you getting more respect from both women as well as a potential new relationship (with someone, at least).

[chanoc]

My advise: Leykis 101 (http://members.tripod.com/tomleykis_101/101.html) :D ;) :eek:

[juicedus]

So I talked to the girl about our situtaion breifly today. She doesn't want to do anything cuz of the fact that we live together; she says its just not gonna work. It crazy for her at work and theres some drama going on there cuz she tried to start something with one of her co-workers last semester and that didn't work out so well. Basically it comes down to the fact that if something happens and it gets weird, she has has no place to go. She said we can talk about it more later today but judging by the conversation earlier, its not gonna happen.

Thanks anyway for all the helpful advice. Now I gotta get ready for an awkward 3 months till I graduate.

[wdlove]

It sounds as though she hasn't closed the door completely, so that is in your favor. As mentioned it is just best to be patient and see what happens next. Allow her to bring up the subject when she is ready. Good luck.

[solvs]

Now I gotta get ready for an awkward 3 months till I graduate.
Sounds like she may be blowing you off for now, but maybe she is leaving the door open for the future. It depends how you play your cards. She may have just been lonely, or thought she liked you, and stuff happens. Now she regrets it, and wants to make sure you're going to be cool so things aren't awkward. You can have a good friend if you prove you can be ok with it all. And not just pretend to be ok, be ok. Accept that you may never be more than friends. You have to accept that she may date other guys.

The other possibility is that she really does like you, but is afraid things will go south and not only will things get awkward and she'll lose a place to live, she will lose a good friend. Same thing though, play it cool, be there as a friend and leave things open. If you're too needy or distant, you'll turn her off. Be prepared for it not to turn into anything, but if May comes around, and she's still not dating anyone, you could ask her to go out for coffee or something. Sometimes friendship can turn into more. Sometimes.

Correct me if I'm wrong ladies. I've had relationships come out of friendships, but I've also had some that don't. And even the ones that do can turn sour eventually. I know it's tough to leave it up to fate in situations like this, but sometimes you have to. If you play it by ear and don't force it either way, something good can come of it... either way.

[juicedus]

Well.....we had the "talk"......nothings gonna happen cuz as she put is "we live together...things like this don't work out".......i forgot how good rejection feels :rolleyes:

Oh well.......this should be fun.....seeing the girl i like every day for the next 3 months and not be able to do anything.......I'm gonna stop complaining now

Thanks for all the advice people

peace,
juice