I envy my sisters wedding photographer!

When I used to shoot weddings I did photo journalist type of photos. Doing 3 hours of posed photos would be a nightmare.

I don't shoot weddings but can imagine how stressful that would be. But I loved the bit about the day being more about celebrarption than ceremony. If I ever get married again, that's absolutely what I would want (but we all know that what I want becomes irrelevant long before that day arrives )

Consultant said:

When I used to shoot weddings I did photo journalist type of photos. Doing 3 hours of posed photos would be a nightmare.

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Seriously! Hour and a half would be the most I could use, my time would be better spent on something else.

But, as long as your sister is pleased with the shots, awesome! You should see if you can post some up here when she gets them!

I'm a professional DJ who specializes in weddings. In my consultations I actually encourage brides and grooms to consider breaking the tradition about seeing each other and staging some special "reveal" moment prior to the ceremony where they can see each other and take a few minutes together. This allows for them to give their photographer much more time prior to the ceremony to get creative and fun shots and doesn't set up the typical nightmare of trying to get most or all of the formals after the ceremony and before the reception where guests are waiting and things are stressful.

Regardless of seeing each other before, the groom will still have those "holy cow" feelings with knots in his stomach when the doors open and she starts down the aisle. My wife and I used this method at our own wedding and it made things so much smoother and took a lot of pressure off of our photographer.

My parents went to a Norwegian wedding where the family met up the day before for all the formal portrait shots. I'm not sure whether this is a standard thing there - but it seems like a good idea. Leave the wedding day for enjoyment of the moment, not just for one long photography session.

At my sister's wedding (she's a pro photographer who shoots for Vogue and stuff like that) we set up an outdoor 'photo booth' with my old Canon 400D, some lighting and the Canon IR remote. Got hundreds of fantastic shots of people posing with their friends throughout the day.

I'm one of those 'Don't shoot weddings' photographers. Whenever I'm asked my opinion (and sometimes even if I'm not asked) by friends getting married, I suggest that they budget for good, pro photographer. In 25 years (I'm an optimist) no one is going to remember the food, or whether there were rare tropical flowers, or a fancy-smancy cake. What the couple will have are the photos, so they should be professional and not just snap-shots.

At our wedding, we had both a pro shooter - and we gave each table a disposable camera. We suggested to our guests that we had a pro shooting us (the couple) so could they please make sure everybody at their table was photographed.... and so we do have an album of each and every guest as well as the formals. We enjoy looking at both albums.... it's been 16 years.

snberk103 said:

I'm one of those 'Don't shoot weddings' photographers.

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Sorry, but I've been to 3 weddings before my own, and the professional photographers were awful. Not sure what they were professionals of, but it certainly wasn't wedding photography. I even had to stop one set photograph at my sister's wedding as he was about to photograph her and her new husband in front of a grate on the ground!?!?

I got him to stop and move the shot forward so the grating was out of shot - his reply "i'd have shopped it out". Right, so all the confetti going everywhere and you'd shop out a 4 square foot grating directly in front of bride and groom.

The pictures from him were amateur to say the least.

The next wedding had a photographer who just didn't give a stuff about detail. So it was my wife (fiancée at the time) who was ensuring the brides dress was straightened for the shots (rather than ruffled up). Photography is about attention to detail.

In fact, that couple were so upset with that photographer's efforts that my shots had to burned and sent up to them to make up for the crap their official guy had taken!

At my own wedding, we had a proper wedding photographer, who did good work from the start.

We gave the guy an hour of our time after the ceremony for some posed shots - because at the end of the day - there are two things I will remember from my wedding day - marrying my wife and the pictures the wedding photographer took.

At the end of the day, the photographer is the one guest to a wedding who is being paid to be at your wedding. If you don't use his time properly, then more fool you.


(Did someone say about getting bride and groom together before the ceremony? Seriously? Groom isn't meant to see the bride until she walks down the aisle!)

tinman0 said:

(Did someone say about getting bride and groom together before the ceremony? Seriously? Groom isn't meant to see the bride until she walks down the aisle!)

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Oh no, really? What happens if they do see each other? Do they spontaneously vaporise three years into marriage? Gosh!

tinman0 said:

(Did someone say about getting bride and groom together before the ceremony? Seriously? Groom isn't meant to see the bride until she walks down the aisle!)

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This isn't the 16th century. They've probably been living with each other for the last four years.

Seriously, you guys would suggest that a bride and groom break with one of the biggest traditions in marriage? Your the photographer - it's not a threesome with everyone having their input.

But I reckon you are onto something. They could spend the night before they get married together, get dressed together, go to the ceremony together. Etc.

I'm assuming you two are both single?

Tell you what, go and speak to some other women (not your mother's) about your great ideas. I'm sure they will be delighted*


*horrified.

tinman0 said:

Seriously, you guys would suggest that a bride and groom break with one of the biggest traditions in marriage? Your the photographer - it's not a threesome with everyone having their input.

But I reckon you are onto something. They could spend the night before they get married together, get dressed together, go to the ceremony together. Etc.

I'm assuming you two are both single?

Tell you what, go and speak to some other women (not your mother's) about your great ideas. I'm sure they will be delighted*


*horrified.

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I actually think it's a great idea. Traditional wedding practices are being tweaked and changed quite often these days. Traditions are often born out of laziness anyway. Why not be open to something different? Besides, it's only a suggestion.

I just got married over the summer and due to our venue and schedule, the best opportunity to get pictures was before the ceremony. My wife was hesitant at first because she didn't like the idea of seeing each other before, but it was easy to sell her on the idea that we'd then have more time to hang out with friends and family during cocktail hour.

tinman0 said:

I'm assuming you two are both single?

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And let me guess... you've never left your tiny monoculture town - and the two most important women in your life, 'wife' and 'sister' are one and the same, right??

If you want to talk more silly stereotypes, I'm here all evening.

Seriously, you guys would suggest that a bride and groom break with one of the biggest traditions in marriage? Your the photographer - it's not a threesome with everyone having their input.

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That might be the case in hicksville, but elsewhere it isn't. The example I gave was from Norway, where it happens.

Not everyone wants their big day taken over by photography.

But I reckon you are onto something. They could spend the night before they get married together, get dressed together, go to the ceremony together. Etc.

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Grow up, dude! Most of my friends did exactly that. They might have spent the morning at separate locations (bride gets dressed at her parent's house) but they wouldn't have spent the night apart.

tinman0 said:

Seriously, you guys would suggest that a bride and groom break with one of the biggest traditions in marriage? Your the photographer - it's not a threesome with everyone having their input.

But I reckon you are onto something. They could spend the night before they get married together, get dressed together, go to the ceremony together. Etc.

I'm assuming you two are both single?

Tell you what, go and speak to some other women (not your mother's) about your great ideas. I'm sure they will be delighted*


*horrified.

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You obviously didn't read my previous post so I'll quote it for you.

mscriv said:

I'm a professional DJ who specializes in weddings. In my consultations I actually encourage brides and grooms to consider breaking the tradition about seeing each other and staging some special "reveal" moment prior to the ceremony where they can see each other and take a few minutes together. This allows for them to give their photographer much more time prior to the ceremony to get creative and fun shots and doesn't set up the typical nightmare of trying to get most or all of the formals after the ceremony and before the reception where guests are waiting and things are stressful.

Regardless of seeing each other before, the groom will still have those "holy cow" feelings with knots in his stomach when the doors open and she starts down the aisle. My wife and I used this method at our own wedding and it made things so much smoother and took a lot of pressure off of our photographer.

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I can assure you that when done appropriately, with a special "reveal moment", that seeing each other before the actual ceremony makes for better pictures and an overall better wedding day (including reception) experience. As a DJ and a family therapist I've been a part of too many weddings to count and often the place things get off track is the "cocktail time" right after the ceremony when pictures are being taken. When brides and grooms don't see each other before, the after ceremony pictures are often stressful as they are trying to rush and get in all of their pictures while not keeping their guests waiting too long.

I've worked with photographers who think they and their pictures are the most important part of the day. Don't get me wrong, pictures are important, but they are only one part of the day and don't typically directly impact the enjoyment of the guests at the event. This is changing with things like "photo booths", "photo walls", and "day of slide shows" that get the guests involved more, but typically photography is a passive part of the day that is only truly enjoyed after the event is over. If the process of capturing the photo's negatively impacts the day itself then it can be a bad experience for the bride and groom.

Ultimately, it's the bride and groom's decision what they want, but they need to be educated that there are other options besides the "traditions" and that some of those options can have a big impact on the overall flow and feel of the day. I can guarantee you that the happiest couples are the ones who are the least stressed on their "big day".

If you take the pictures before the ceremony - the couple aren't married! You are simply taking photographs of two people dressed up.

But fair enough, if people want to break the all important reveal so be it. Making the day easier by meeting before the ceremony just seems a major cop out if you ask me. The whole point of the bit before the wedding is for it to be stressful as you're supposedly making a decision for life.

There does seem to be two types of wedding photographers - the ones who are simply recording the day, and the ones who record the day and get a bit of the couple's time before the reception. If couples want to skip the second bit, then that's their business.

Spending an hour with our photographer before the reception was one of most memorable parts of the day. Guests can wait, they weren't going anywhere any time soon.

tinman0 said:

If you take the pictures before the ceremony - the couple aren't married! You are simply taking photographs of two people dressed up.

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Are you serious? Wow! I'm not quite sure what to say to this... I mean it's just such a silly response.

- Why toast the couple at the rehearsal dinner, I mean they're just two people at a party?

- Why shop for and buy a gift before the wedding, I mean they're just two people planning a wedding they're not married yet?

- If you happen to bump into the bride or groom before the ceremony don't tell them congratulations, I mean at that point they're just "two people dressed up".

tinman0 said:

Making the day easier by meeting before the ceremony just seems a major cop out if you ask me. The whole point of the bit before the wedding is for it to be stressful as you're supposedly making a decision for life.

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tinman, I'm not sure at all what you are talking about. Are weddings stressful, yes. It's just like any other major event you put on for guests that involves multiple moving parts (food, entertainment, pictures, video, gifts, etc.) But, the whole goal is to minimize stress so the bride and groom can enjoy their day.

I'm happy for you that your wedding worked out the way it did and that you and your wife were happy with your photographer. However, I disagree with your thinking that your way is the way every couple should do it and that tradition stands before the goals and desires of each individual couple. There are many wedding traditions that couples today are not doing (cake cutting, parent dances, a slow first dance song, bouquet and garter toss, etc.).

Photography was so important to you that you didn't care about your guests. I mean you said yourself...

tinman0 said:

Spending an hour with our photographer before the reception was one of most memorable parts of the day. Guests can wait, they weren't going anywhere any time soon.

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Not everyone feels the same way you do and they rely on their DJ, Wedding Planner, Photographer, Videographer, etc. to provide them with different options. Sure some couples know exactly what they want, but others don't. In fact the majority of couples don't know or understand how to make it all work. Guess what, that's normal they're not party planners or professional wedding vendors, they're regular people. And, as a part of that they need to understand how the decisions they make affect their guests and thus their party. If your guests were willing to wait around for you all day to get your pictures taken great, but the majority of guests out there get a bit edgy after 30 minutes of waiting. Guess what, if you don't care about your guests, they won't care about you and yes, they will leave.

I'm just speaking from my experience here. (extensive experience as a wedding vendor, I'm a DJ first, but I also shoot wedding photography and videography) The goal for any vendor is to educate couples about all the options so they can make an educated choice about what to do. If you want to have a great party you need to balance everything out so that everyone has a great time.

tinman0 said:

Seriously, you guys would suggest that a bride and groom break with one of the biggest traditions in marriage? Your the photographer - it's not a threesome with everyone having their input.

But I reckon you are onto something. They could spend the night before they get married together, get dressed together, go to the ceremony together. Etc.

I'm assuming you two are both single?

Tell you what, go and speak to some other women (not your mother's) about your great ideas. I'm sure they will be delighted*


*horrified.

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Breaking one of the biggest traditions of marriage?

If you hate the idea so much we might as well go back to the ORIGINAL reasoning to get married!!

Can everyone say "human trafficking"? That right, marriage in the past was a means of transferring ownership of the bride to the groom from the father. The changing of the last name was how you determined who owned the woman in the marriage.

tinman0 said:

Seriously, you guys would suggest that a bride and groom break with one of the biggest traditions in marriage?

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A tradition of which culture? Certainly not the one I got married in...