Greatest message board thread ever?

[miloblithe]

How many 5-year olds do you think you could take? (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1556673&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=9&o=14&fpart=1&vc=1)

[Blue Velvet]

Those conditions sound pretty stacked against the adult so I would say, for me, probably 3-4, tops.

[Manzana]

think of neo vs "the smiths" in (i can't recall which) matrix, they call it the burly brawl.

honestly, i could probably go for 20 minutes before i got tired! let's say 80 kids

[wordmunger]

Maybe not even one, if it was this kid (http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Health/story?id=570290)

P.S. That's a pretty funny thread, in an incredibly sick way.

[miloblithe]

This actually happened to me (sort of) when I was in elementary school. I was only 11, so not an adult, but somehow I pissed off a pack of first graders and they started chasing after me. Much to my surprise, they somehow cornered me and all attacked me. It was one of those not-very-violent types of fights, but whatever the scale, I was certainly the loser.

Ah, memories...

[Sun Baked]

Sorry, I think I'll skip playing this game.

Because it sounds like one of Michael Jackson's wet dreams... http://forums.macrumors.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=20416&stc=1

You freaks. :p

[plinden]

Much as I would like read through and laugh at that thread (as I would have, say three years ago), I now find the whole idea disturbing and nauseating. I guess it's something to do with having become a father twice in the past three years.

[MongoTheGeek]

It really depends on how fast they come. The solution is to have 3 or 4 grab each arm and leg to immobilize the adult and the start taking him/her apart. One arm/leg free I can clobber, maybe throw small ones. Both arms then I can heave just about any of them into others and use the smaller ones to clear areas.

Given that... Probably a good 40 or so until I get tired.

[mgargan1]

kinda like Kramer from Seinfeld.

[zelmo]

A highly disturbing proposal, since I have a 4 year old son at home.

OTOH, If I were to set aside my distaste for the idea, I might venture to say I could probably knock out 35-40 of the little buggers before getting tired. If they swarm you, they are as apt to hit one another as land a solid damaging blow on you. Regarding the value of their training, I don't see there being a lot of retention, if my son and his friends are any indication. Ultimately, it would come down to your stamina and your willingness to render little people unconscious.

[stoid]

I think that the key part of the equation is footwear. If the kids are wearing shoes, it would give them a great advantage. Without shoes, I don't think that they could kick hard enough anywhere except stomach for it to really hurt.

[redeye be]

feet, knees, fists, elbows and as a last resort the head.
I think i could handle a few. I have some experience in a youth movement (hehe sounds cool, doesn't it) with 6-7 year olds. If you can't hurt them (and they had no training) when they swarm you it's hard to stay up against 20 of them. If all is allowed i'd say 50 would be possible.

Where do i sign up? ;)

[Mr. Durden]

I cant get the link to work, but I'm speewing Pepsi out of my nose just reading these posts (a winning iTunes Pepsi at that). I've got a near 5 year old at home and we wrestle all the time, so I'm using that experience and I'm gonna say that if I backed into a corner so they couldnt come from every direction, and was able to actually knock one out and use it as a weapon (this is so sick), I could take out at least 50 - 60 maybe more, depending on how quickly I got tired.

And I think, just for fun, I would let them all pile on early on so I could do the Matrix Burly Brawl move where you get up really fast and make the explosion of bodies flying everywhere, like Neo did.

[Lacero]

This is the oddest subject. I guess depending on the size of the 5 year olds I could take on probably 10 at one time. If they were fat, and they all swarmed on me at the same time, it would be pretty difficult to say the least.

20 would just be way too overwhelming. That's like an entire classroom of children!

[Jaffa Cake]

Me? I'm going to stick my neck out and say two – possibly three on a good day.

Just so long as I had the element of surprise...

[homerjward]

hmm...if they're anything like my 10 yr old brother, i'd say 10-15. if the stipulation about the cup weren't there id say 3-5. i know that sounds 10-15 sounds like a lot but when you think about it they cant all get to you at once unless you're hella fat so they'll have to come in waves and if you knock one wave down they'll fall into the next. once they're on the ground it's a simple matter of kicking them in the face repeatedly or throwing them against a wall.

[mcadam]

In my experience kids fall over pretty easily. And I reckon they are not to hard to knock out. So if they have to run a bit to get to me, they'll get spread out and I'll have time and space to swing some big ones at them. I'm not in particularly good shape, all in all I think I'd get very exhausted dealing 40 hard hits. Max 45.

If they manage to attack me in a more dense formation, then I don't know, maybe just a few before they would have swarmed me completely. They can be pretty nasty up close, especially if they're trained. I would go down heroically fighting though.

A

edit: on second thought - 40-45 is completely unrealistic. I've read the rules again, on a basketball court I would have to run around (remember: you can always outrun a kid) to keep them spread out, which would add to the exhaustion. I'd say 30 tops.

[MacAztec]

I think I could take about 25 or so. But, think of this..

Anyone watch ultimate fighting? I mean, the REAL show, not the crap they show on standard cable. I would LOVE to match an Ultimate Fighter up against the 5 year olds. I bet he could take 100. No joke, they are trained killers.

[PlaceofDis]

i have no idea how many i could take, maybe 20 or so before i got worn down, i was a wrestler in h.s. so i might have some edge on 'em here


Off Topic:

did you guys see the mario avatar? talk about WRONG!!!

[MacAztec]

i have no idea how many i could take, maybe 20 or so before i got worn down, i was a wrestler in h.s. so i might have some edge on 'em here


Off Topic:

did you guys see the mario avatar? talk about WRONG!!!

i was thinkin about wrestling, but that would be worse. once you are on the ground you are done.

the best would be a fist fighter/boxer.

[quackattack]

This is the funniest thing I have ever read. I think you guys are over estimating how long you can go without getting tired. There would be a lot of movement involved in fighting them off. Especially if you had them surrounding you. I think that getting a limb free would be challenge enough.

That said I'm going to say 10-15, after that I think I would be way too tired to fend the little buggers off. ;)

[killuminati]

kinda like Kramer from Seinfeld.

Thats what i was going to say,

he was taken on by about 15. But they all had marshal arts training

[clayj]

Off Topic: did you guys see the mario avatar? talk about WRONG!!!Heck, that was the best part of the thread! I saved a copy of that to my HD for future use. :)

[PlaceofDis]

Heck, that was the best part of the thread! I saved a copy of that to my HD for future use. :)


it got a chuckle out of me but the 10pts was just too much for me!!!

hey at least we all know that mario got the goods in the end and all wasnt for just a cake or a kiss LoL

[PlaceofDis]

i was thinkin about wrestling, but that would be worse. once you are on the ground you are done.

the best would be a fist fighter/boxer.

yeah, the only good thing about wrestling experience are the upper body throws that would help you with your momentum and balance

i also think because i was a wrestler i have pushed my level of stamia further than most people so that would be very helpful as well, not to mention im used to taking a beating :D

[redeye be]

i was thinkin about wrestling, but that would be worse. once you are on the ground you are done.

the best would be a fist fighter/boxer.
If i could choose a teammate i'd choose Wanderlei Silva (http://www.sherdog.com/fightfinder/fightfinder.asp?fighterID=209). This guy fights pride and is -simply put- an animal.

[mcadam]

i was thinkin about wrestling, but that would be worse. once you are on the ground you are done.

the best would be a fist fighter/boxer.

I totally agree, up close they are dangerous. It would be stupid not to take full use of your longer range. And you have to knock them unconscious. If you wrestle them you'd have to squeeze them. I think it's pretty hard to squeeze 20 kids unconscious.

A

[mcadam]

If i could choose a teammate i'd choose Wanderei Silva (http://www.sherdog.com/fightfinder/fightfinder.asp?fighterID=209). This guy fights pride and is -simply put- an animal.

Ah, you mean Wanderlei "the axe murderer" Silva lol

A

[Abstract]

Aw man, I agree with anyone who said you guys are overestimating yourselves when you say you could take down forty 5 year olds. Imagine walking into a 1st grade classroom full of kids who have been trained to take you down as a group. Imagine a class of kids who are motivated and driven to beat the crap out of you. And in a room the size of a basketball court? Forget fancy footwork.....you'd just stand in the middle and take it from these kids, kicking a kid in the head while another 3 go behind you and jump on your back and bite your neck!! :eek:

I could take 20 of them, but after that, I'd be worn out and they'd take me. I'd just kick and continue keeping them at a distance until the inevitable happens.

[PlaceofDis]

see the thing is, its going to take a LOT for kids that age to knock you out! they maybe able to get you down on the ground a few times, but out? thats going to take awhile if you ask me, whereas it is much easier for an adult to KO a small child, i really cant believe im talking about this stuff so indepth, guess thats what happens when you have nothing better to do with your time

[Abstract]

That's true, but if many were to swarm at once, and one of them hits you in the back of the leg, or got a good shot into you, you'd let up a bit and they would just pound you to the ground and beat you senseless with their wittle fists. ;)

[lordmac]

My estimate would be about 20 of um. Since the rules said there isn't any-kind of object you could to fight with and obviously have an object of some sort would greatly help, I would simply grab one of the kids and use him in a club like matter to club down the other kids. Oh and running around to keep them from grouping up to much. Though if i didn't have that cup i say only about 5, as if they bit you down there "OW!!". :p


And I did the same thing as you clayjohanson when i saw the mario tar, saved it to my hard drive. Figure it would make a plesant picture to send over aim. :D

[Sun Baked]

That's true, but if many were to swarm at once, and one of them hits you in the back of the leg, or got a good shot into you, you'd let up a bit and they would just pound you to the ground and beat you senseless with their wittle fists. ;)Once you get to about fifty of the drunk little midgets, if they're trained to drag you down before they knock you out it'll be tough.

However if they swarm you to grab your legs and run in opposite directions, you may pass out from the pain without them landing a single punch. ;)

[Thomas Veil]

What was that guy smoking when he thought up this idea? http://users.adelphia.net/~tjveil/images/yeahright.gif

[Lacero]

They were drunk.