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View Full Version : Disorder in the American Courts - very funny



mcadam
Mar 31, 2005, 10:47 AM
Just came across these quotes... They have been taken down word by word by court reporters.

link (http://dart.fine-art.com/aqd-asp-im_96456-buy-m.htm)

my favorite:Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
>autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

A


edesignuk
Mar 31, 2005, 10:51 AM
Very good :D I like this one...
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.
Lord Blackadder
Mar 31, 2005, 11:39 AM
No, this one's better:


Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

LOL.
ldburroughs
Mar 31, 2005, 01:25 PM
My wife sent these to me in an e-mail about three years ago. They were funny then and are funny now. It's like I'm reading them again for the first time.
Nickygoat
Mar 31, 2005, 01:31 PM
No, this one's better:



LOL.
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.
I'd have thought this would be your favourite - Baldrick?
:D
Lord Blackadder
Mar 31, 2005, 02:04 PM
I'd have thought this would be your favourite - Baldrick?
:D

Yes, but you are assuming that I find his stupidity funny. I find it funny when I beat him over the head with a giant turnip, perhaps, but nothing that issues forth from what passes for his mouth is remotely amusing to me.


:D
mcadam
Mar 31, 2005, 02:12 PM
My wife sent these to me in an e-mail about three years ago. They were funny then and are funny now. It's like I'm reading them again for the first time.

- I tried to find some more quotes from that book and found that these exact ones are all over the net on message boards and blogs, even with the same introductory explanation. They're damn funny nonetheless...

A
Eevee
Mar 31, 2005, 02:56 PM
Very good :D I like this one...


Neat! Like this one, too! :D