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View Full Version : Check out my movie!!




MacFan782040
May 8, 2005, 11:16 PM
http://homepage.mac.com/fonash8711/iMovieTheater1.html

Please don't link on other sites, ect.



mymemory
May 9, 2005, 12:41 AM
As a video editor I liked the closing titles composition :rolleyes:

How long did it take you to edit?

Stampyhead
May 9, 2005, 01:04 AM
Good cinematography. Some creative camera angles.
The only criticism I have is that the music switched too abruptly. I would have liked to have seen at least a bit of a transition between the different styles.
Good job overall.

sorryiwasdreami
May 9, 2005, 01:08 AM
http://homepage.mac.com/fonash8711/iMovieTheater1.html

Please don't link on other sites, ect.

Where in PA are you from? I saw something similar to this in a university art gallery in southern PA, but I think it was a lot longer.

MacFan782040
May 9, 2005, 06:17 AM
Where in PA are you from? I saw something similar to this in a university art gallery in southern PA, but I think it was a lot longer.

Northeastern PA. Took about 3 days to edit. Thanks for the comments!

Mr. Anderson
May 9, 2005, 09:09 AM
Not bad...some of the edits were a bit abrupt, going directly from a handheld camera view to a tripod. And you had a classic goof on the final battle scene where you were all sweaty and then had a clip in there with a clean/dry shirt, and right back to sweaty :D

The titles at the end were fun seeing how the sweat got on your shirt.

Good job - what did you edit it on?

D

MacFan782040
May 9, 2005, 12:41 PM
Not bad...some of the edits were a bit abrupt, going directly from a handheld camera view to a tripod. And you had a classic goof on the final battle scene where you were all sweaty and then had a clip in there with a clean/dry shirt, and right back to sweaty :D

The titles at the end were fun seeing how the sweat got on your shirt.

Good job - what did you edit it on?

D

Thanks. Yeah I didn't know my post had been moved. I thought it got deleted-- The continunity of the wet shirt is a blooper, but oh well. And I agree with the quickness of the transitions, and I should have used a tripod more for the shots. It was only supposed to be a 2-5 min. movie for our TV/Video class in school, with a storyboard behind it. We had to incorporate something in that starts the movie and also ends it (that's why we did the trophy case). (Another example is the storybook in SHrek)

It was decent for a week-long video to make. I'll post more once we make more in class.

Oh and I used iMovie - emacs in school, imac g4 @ home

crap freakboy
May 9, 2005, 01:02 PM
I found it boring and badly edited. Hey, you can't please everyone huh? :)

Lacero
May 9, 2005, 01:04 PM
True. That whole table tennis sequence, I found my attention drifting. In editing terms, that's a bad thing to have happen to your audience. It means your editing either needs to be tighter or video to make some sense.

slu
May 11, 2005, 11:39 AM
I too thought it was a bit long, but I liked the use of the music and the end credits really were great.

gangst
May 11, 2005, 02:52 PM
I found it boring and badly edited. Hey, you can't please everyone huh? :)

yea i agree, POS.

dotdotdot
May 11, 2005, 04:48 PM
I began watching and ended up skipping through 1/2 of it...

...uh, so what WAS the point of it??

crap freakboy
May 11, 2005, 04:57 PM
yea i agree, POS.


You can always rely on the brits to 'call a spade a spade' :)

Balin64
May 11, 2005, 05:14 PM
I am not a budding film maker, but if I was, I would probably not post that movie on the inrternet.

I thought it was okay: visually: even though I disliked teh whole 80's music, training for battle crap.

There was no real story...

Keep trying!

Langly
May 12, 2005, 12:43 PM
Hey, nice one Messrs. freakboy and gangst, that's the way to encourage young film-makers :mad: How about some positive and constructive criticism instead of grinding young MacFan into the dirt?

crap freakboy
May 12, 2005, 01:06 PM
Hey, nice one Messrs. freakboy and gangst, that's the way to encourage young film-makers :mad: How about some positive and constructive criticism instead of grinding young MacFan into the dirt?

I don't think I was harsh. I've been at countless meetings where some stiff in a suit ripped apart design work simply because he/she didn't like 'blue', 'that style of type', 'text is too small', 'prefer the old brochure', 'its too trendy' etc, etc. If you believe you have a talent in a particular field then you have to stand strong in that belief against mountains of criticisms, if youre not able to then perhaps you arent good enough.
I'd rather people be honest when viewing anything I've produced.
Or I could lie to him and say "Yeah brilliant, best thing I've seen in years, could you rip me a DVD?' Least this way he'll take on board that 70% were positive and the rest werent. With that, if he's got potential, he'll try and look at his efforts with a critical eye and improve upon the weak areas. Its really so easy to get so wrapped up in the creative process that you loose your own critical eye on what you are producing. Be your own harshest critic.

gangst
May 12, 2005, 02:33 PM
maybe i was harsh but an opinions an opinion, i edit video myself and that is probably why i was honest. it will help the kid more if he is told the truth instead of lied to and told its good when its not. okay, maybe i could of offered advice, but the kid might not even want it.

Barham
May 12, 2005, 02:59 PM
Clever little Rocky spoof, though it felt a little too familiar. The trophy case was a nice touch to bring it together. I liked the editing and camera angles but the big Match seemed too long and a little loose. The music selection was good, but the transitions need work (get on that GarageBand or Soundtrack). I would've went a little farther with the Rocky references and shown the "Villain" training (or not training). I wasn't really sure what to think of him when he showed up.

I certainly wouldn't call it a POS, but it could use a little more polish. It's quite funny, I think.

-Hasta

jimsowden
May 12, 2005, 03:19 PM
Hey, nice one Messrs. freakboy and gangst, that's the way to encourage young film-makers :mad: How about some positive and constructive criticism instead of grinding young MacFan into the dirt?
How about not making it suck.

crap freakboy
May 12, 2005, 04:42 PM
How about not making it suck.

You get the prize for giving me the biggest laugh of the day. ta.

MacFan782040
May 12, 2005, 07:45 PM
Wow, guys I'm all really suprized on the amount of criticism here. Never did I say it was an academy award winning video- it was a 5 minute video that (not only me but 3 other people had input) worked on it (AMATEURS) and made this in about 5 class days.

I wanted to post it because it was (I thought) somewhat entertaining.

I never said it was my best work, ect. Heck, somebody could have posted a "jackass" type video with just cropped clips one after another and you probably would have liked it better.

I appriciate the comments, whether they are good or bad, and I respect what everyone has to say, but if you feel it wasn't worth your time, then you didn't have to watch it did you? I kinda wish I never posted it to begin with.

Barham
May 12, 2005, 08:09 PM
I hope you didn't get the wrong idea. We were (most of us) just trying to help. When you post something like that, you have to expect a little bit of criticism (which can be positive and negative). I thought it was quite entertaining. One thing you have to remember about a message board is that you're likely to get flamed (A Mac user should especially know this). It's the nature of the beast. Don't be discouraged by it.

-Hasta

Capt Underpants
May 12, 2005, 08:38 PM
Holy crap, people. This isn't a freakin blockbuster movie here. Four guys wanted to have some fun, so they made a video. Stop being so rude...

MacFan782040
May 12, 2005, 08:49 PM
Holy crap, people. This isn't a freakin blockbuster movie here. Four guys wanted to have some fun, so they made a video. Stop being so rude...

THANK YOU somebody who understands the purpose of it

Vader
May 12, 2005, 09:12 PM
LOL, I liked it, reminds me of the movie Showdown that my brother made in college.

crap freakboy
May 13, 2005, 01:21 AM
Wow, guys I'm all really suprized on the amount of criticism here. Never did I say it was an academy award winning video- it was a 5 minute video that (not only me but 3 other people had input) worked on it (AMATEURS) and made this in about 5 class days.

I wanted to post it because it was (I thought) somewhat entertaining.

I never said it was my best work, ect. Heck, somebody could have posted a "jackass" type video with just cropped clips one after another and you probably would have liked it better.

I appriciate the comments, whether they are good or bad, and I respect what everyone has to say, but if you feel it wasn't worth your time, then you didn't have to watch it did you? I kinda wish I never posted it to begin with.


You wont be the first or the last to regret posting their creative efforts for public mauling.
Sorry if my initial comments sounded abrupt or cruel, but for my sins thats me. Its a trait of those brought up in Yorkshire. I did mean well (if you can believe taht). All the rest of the comments were really in defence of my right to express an opinion on something, beit negative or positive.
Hats off to you for even having the gusto to even make it in the first place.
Thankfully I havent got the balls to post my over-edited holiday video of Turkey last year. Now there'd be a prime example of how NOT to edit.

:) :)

LethalWolfe
May 13, 2005, 03:53 AM
Wow, guys I'm all really suprized on the amount of criticism here.
Oh, c'mon. Everyone is a Monday morning quarterback on the internet. ;)

I wanted to post it because it was (I thought) somewhat entertaining.
And now you are getting feedback and finding out it's not as funny as you'd thought. 'Tis the double-edged sword of showing your work in public.

Heck, somebody could have posted a "jackass" type video with just cropped clips one after another and you probably would have liked it better.
Only if it was funny.

Holy crap, people. This isn't a freakin blockbuster movie here.
And no one expected it to be. But I think people were hoping to be entertained.

Four guys wanted to have some fun, so they made a video.
Having fun making a video is different than making a video people will have fun watching. This is why vacation videos are usually so painful to watch. When you are making a video you have to divorce yourself from everything that is not explicitly on the screen. You can't bring any emotional baggage or prior knowledge w/you when you watch your piece. You have to watch it like you've never seen it before, and that's one of the first hurdles you have to learn to avoid as a storyteller (and it's one that can always sneak up on you if you are not careful)



Careful, this is probably gonna be long winded.

All in all I think the video would qualify as a good first or second draft. As I understand it you had 5 days to write/shoot/edit a 5 minute video for a class. You had the right idea to pick a story idea that is simple, familiar and universal (David & Goliath basically). This allows your audience to jump right in 'cause they are pretty familiar w/the basics of what's going on. Your downfall though was in the execution of the idea. As I understand it the protagonist is sad he doesnít have a trophy in the trophy case, so he trains to beat the local ping-pong bad@ss, makes a nailing biting come-back to win the day, and proudly adds his trophy to the case. Iím basing the rest of my post off this assumption so I hope itís not too wrong.

First off, itís way too long. You could easily cut it in half. A good start would be to take every shot in the video and cut it in half. Literally. Editing is about rhythm, tempo, beat, and pacing. And when you are doing comedy itís even more important (5 frames can be the difference between getting a laugh or a shrug). Comedy has to be tight. The tighter the better. You arenít going to see an hour long comedy on TV (comedyís are 30min and dramas are 60min), and you arenít going to see an epic, 3hr long comedy at the theater. You just canít sustain comedy for that long.
Every edit you make, every shot, every thing on that screen should be there for a reason. It should have a purpose. It should carry the story forward. No matter how much you like a certain shot or event, if it doesnít move the story forward it has to go. If it doesnít leave your audience will leave Ďcause they are bored Ďcause your story isnít going anywhere.

Just some random suggestions follow...

Iím assuming in the opening scene our Hero is going ďGee, I wish I had a trophy in the trophy caseĒ, but thatís not very clear at all (and didnít even start becoming clear until the end of the film). This is bad Ďcause itís the first 5 seconds of the film and the audience is already lost. Speaking of being lost, the villain just seems to come out of no where. A way to solve this would be to introduce the villain in the first scene. For example, the hero is looking at the trophy case, the villain walks into frame, pushes the hero out of the way and puts a big trophy into the case. A short, simple scene like that goes a long way:
1. It introduces the villain
2. It shows that the villain is a d*ck (he pushes the hero)
3. It shows that the villain is a top dog (the big trophy)
4. It makes the audience dislike the villain (see #2)
5. It gives our hero a goal/motivation (to beat the villain)
6. It gives the audience an emotional connection w/the hero (weíve all been bullied)
Now when we go into the training scene it will make more sense because we know why the hero is so determined (cut the running in half).

The funny boxing gloves are funny. But not funny w/in the context of this movie. IMO some sort of over-the-top Forrest Gump spoof (Gump practicing ping-pong against the wall) would have made more sense and been funnier. You did the weightlifting gag backwards. Show the hero working his butt off THEN show that heís struggling w/a tiny amount of weight.

The ping-pong table out in the middle of the field was funny. But the match lasted way, way too long. And I donít think you shouldíve used a tripod at all. The handheld work gives it a shaky/uncertain feel (which helps lend tension to the match). The flashback to the trophy was a good idea, but lasted too long.

A quick flash of the trophy, close-up of heroís face full of new found determination, close-up of heroís hand gripping the paddle, he crashes a return right past the villain, close-up of villain pissed off, BAM, the battle begins anew.

All of that takes 2 seconds or less.

Speaking of close-upsÖ You could have used more of them. The wider the shot the more impersonal it is. The more impersonal you are as a storyteller the less you are influencing your audience. Movies can get away w/wider shots because they are intended to be viewed on giant movie screens and not tiny (relatively speaking) TVs. The next time you watch TV see how often they cut to a close-up and why they cut to the close-up. What is going on in the scene that makes the storyteller want the audience to see the characterís face so clearly?

Of course all of this is just my opinion of some things that might have helped. :)

Hopefully it wasnít too long winded.


Lethal

Lacero
May 13, 2005, 04:14 AM
I don't think you can learn to improve your editing skills and storytelling ability when all people do is blow smoke up your ass.

So if people say the video was boring, well guess what, it is. Because we tend to develop tunnel vision when it comes to our own editing project, it's good to have a third pair of eyes to tell you what works and what doesn't. Take the criticism with a grain of salt, and use it constructively to improve your work.

If you show it to try to get a pat on the back, we'll don't be surprised if you get punched in the stomach instead.

DeSnousa
May 13, 2005, 05:25 AM
Well i thought it was entertaining. Made me laugh and think wtf was the guy on when he made the film. I mean this in a good way, it was a film with no plot in a 5 minute time slot. Throwing random stuff in the clip. I like, I like, for the sake of a quick entertainment. As for the criticism, check out my movies i made and i would say many more people's movies and this is not crap for amateur standard. If i have to give some form of criticism, was that it was a bit long.

FireArse
May 13, 2005, 05:53 AM
I personally loved it - loved the music which it was shot to - how long did it take you to decide which piece to use?

Did you have a choice of others?

FireArse

LethalWolfe
May 13, 2005, 11:28 AM
I don't think you can learn to improve your editing skills and storytelling ability when all people do is blow smoke up your ass.


To build on that I don't think they can learn to improve their skills w/o feedback as to what didn't work and why it didn't work.

Having someone just say "it was boring" isn't going to help them improve either.


Lethal

crap freakboy
May 13, 2005, 01:13 PM
This thread is getting boring. :D

Zigster
May 13, 2005, 10:20 PM
Where's my trophy for having to sit through it? :D

iQuit
May 15, 2005, 10:27 AM
Pretty nice for an ameteur,I found it amusing. It is pretty good considering you're new to the whole fimmaking thing,but overall a good job. As many others have said...you just need improvement,which will come in time. Just mess around with preferences on your Mac and you'll get the hang of it. I also understand it was just a goofing around movie,I have made some like that but way too big to host(about 1 hour long).You did a decent job and it isn't horrible,it just lacks in a few things you could've edited better,like transitions and stuff.