Man commits suicide over Harry Potter...... [Archive]

Mr. Anderson

Jul 21, 2005, 12:54 PM

“When Jude got that vanity license plate that said ‘Hogwarts,’ that seemed harmless enough,” said Polly Clovis, who attended Model U.N. with Mr. Ralston while the two were in high school. “But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help.”

duh!

this is just sad - but what I don't understand in that article is the last bit...

Elsewhere, President Bush called the jailing of a New York Times reporter “a positive step,” but warned that many other reporters were still at large. ?!?!?! :confused:

D

atszyman

Jul 21, 2005, 12:56 PM

http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=1169&srch

What a loser..... God, it would suck to be like that...... besides.... LOTR pwns Harry Potter any day :rolleyes:

I don't buy it.

From the site
"Winner of the First-ever National Press Club Award for Humor"

and no other news outlets seem to be running it.

My money's on this being a joke.

Mr. Anderson

Jul 21, 2005, 12:57 PM

My money's on this being a joke.

that puts that last sentence in a better perspective...

D

dsharits

Jul 21, 2005, 01:00 PM

LOTR pwns Harry Potter any day :rolleyes:
Darn right! :cool:

gwuMACaddict

Jul 21, 2005, 01:10 PM

BOROWITZ IS A HUMOR WEBSITE LIKE THE ONION

iDM

Jul 21, 2005, 01:12 PM

Taken from article:
"Ms. Clovis said that she hoped Mr. Ralston’s death would cause federal authorities to tighten the flow of Harry Potter plot information to prevent similar tragedies from taking place."

I see this as being in two extremes first and what i hope it is, is that this shows it is a joke mocking the fact that the federal gov. has their hands in to much crap like the ending of a fictious childhood book ending.

However is this article is true may god help us all if the government is going to "tighten the flow of Harry Potter plot information"

That would be the finally straw and I would devote my life to building a rocket where i could leave this miserable planet.

Edit: Just read gwuAddict 1059 size font about it being false, most of posted while i was typing

xli_ne

Jul 21, 2005, 01:17 PM

Lets see all the other stories on this site that proclaims its the "Winner of the First-ever National Press Club Award for Humor"

PAULA ABDUL EMERGES AS FAVORITE FOR SUPREME COURT (http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=1167&srch=)

TOM CRUISE BIDS FAREWELL TO EARTH (http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=1163&srch=)

RUNAWAY BRIDE, DEEP THROAT TO WED (http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=1157&srch=)

this all won an award for humor?!?!?

gwuMACaddict

Jul 21, 2005, 01:17 PM

you guys all take things WAY too seriously... the fact that some of you believed this stuff makes me wonder.......

atszyman

Jul 21, 2005, 01:21 PM

you guys all take things WAY too seriously... the fact that some of you believed this stuff makes me wonder.......

You ruined the experiment now. I had posted in the 4th response

I don't buy it.

From the site
"Winner of the First-ever National Press Club Award for Humor"

and no other news outlets seem to be running it.

My money's on this being a joke.

I was wondering how many people actually read the thread before posting responses, of course your huge post should make it even more interesting for those who take it seriously and still post here without reading the thread...:D

wdlove

Jul 21, 2005, 01:39 PM

Elsewhere, President Bush called the jailing of a New York Times reporter “a positive step,” but warned that many other reporters were still at large.

This last comment certainly leads to the whole article being factious. Harry Potter certainly isn't a reason to commit suicide. It does give this person his fifteen minutes of fame. :eek:

gwuMACaddict

Jul 21, 2005, 01:45 PM

This last comment certainly leads to the whole article being factious. Harry Potter certainly isn't a reason to commit suicide. It does give this person his fifteen minutes of fame. :eek:

do people read previous posts in threads?? :confused:

dsharits

Jul 21, 2005, 01:47 PM

do people read previous posts in threads?? :confused:
Evidently not....... :rolleyes:

AmigoMac

Jul 21, 2005, 01:52 PM

do people read previous posts in threads?? :confused:

After 5 posts it's getting boring, then the one before our post gets read, no more... :)

jrv3034

Jul 21, 2005, 01:56 PM

Yeah, it's a joke.

You'd think the guy would want to know what happens in book 7. :rolleyes:

Don't panic

Jul 21, 2005, 01:57 PM

this thread is getting surreal

IndyGopher

Jul 21, 2005, 02:04 PM

Finally, a worthy successor to Chicago's Mike Royko as least humorous humor columnist ever. Thank goodness the internet gave this man a pulpit from which to let the drivel leak from his head.

ham_man

Jul 21, 2005, 02:19 PM

I knew this was a joke when the story said that the guy was 32... :rolleyes: ;)

wdlove

Jul 21, 2005, 02:52 PM

I knew this was a joke when the story said that the guy was 32... :rolleyes: ;)

Now age isn't the reason. My wife is 58 and she thoroughly enjoys Harry Potter. She has been looking forward to this book just like all the children.

This thread is certainly very critical.
:eek:

jiv3turkey748

Jul 21, 2005, 02:53 PM

i know its not nice to make fun of the dead but that guy is a loser i mean he wore a wizards hat ....wow i thought star wars geeks were bad

xli_ne

Jul 21, 2005, 02:55 PM

i know its not nice to make fun of the dead but that guy is a loser i mean he wore a wizards hat ....wow i thought star wars geeks were bad

?

have to be kidding, right?

mactastic

Jul 21, 2005, 03:04 PM

Lol... I love threads like these.

Remember those 'tests' they gave in school where they warn you to read the instructions very carefully? ;)

devilot

Jul 21, 2005, 03:13 PM

I knew this was a joke when the story said that the guy was 32... :rolleyes: ;)
Funny, at the Camp Apple workshop, there were quite a few kids and their accompanying mothers (dunno why there were no fathers). I also saw quite a few HP books-- all being read by the parents who were doggedly ignoring the sleeve-pulling and whining of their kids. :D

wrc fan

Jul 21, 2005, 03:16 PM

The other day I was walking down the street in Hogsmeade wearing my invisibility cloak. I was planning on going to the Three Broomsticks for some butterbeer, but all of a sudden I heard some people talking about the half blood prince! If it wasn't for my quick use of "muffliato" on myself, I would have had to do the "avada kedavra" on myself! :eek:

:D ;)

devilot

Jul 21, 2005, 03:35 PM

Onizuka

Jul 21, 2005, 03:38 PM

HEre's my latest adventure on the news...

Me: So... Public... You wanna know what happens at the end of the new Harry Potter book?

PB: No.

Me: Well, THEY ALL DIE!

PB: *EVERYONE KILLS THEMSELVES."

Me: Ah. I'm just kidding. So, who wants to go get some coffee?

I wouldn't be surprised if people would kill themselves over this stupid crap.

Yvan256

Jul 21, 2005, 04:34 PM

And Darwin claims another...

I don't think this would've qualified for a Darwin award. He didn't do anything stupid while thinking he'd be safe (i.e. russian roulette with a non-barrel gun).

Anyway, pretty sad... even for a bad joke. :rolleyes:

Yvan256

Jul 21, 2005, 04:36 PM

BOROWITZ IS A HUMOR WEBSITE LIKE THE ONION

Did someone say "onion"?
---

SHREK: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.

DONKEY: Example?

SHREK: Example? Okay, um, ogres are like onions.

DONKEY: [Sniffs] They stink?

SHREK: Yes. No!

DONKEY: They make you cry?

SHREK: No!

DONKEY: You leave them out in the sun, they get all brown, start sprouting' little white hairs.

SHREK: No! Layers! Onions have layers! Ogres have layers! Onions have layers.
You get it? We both have layers. [Sighs]

DONKEY: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. [Sniffs] You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.

SHREK: I don't care... what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes.

DONKEY: You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.

SHREK: No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.

Yvan256

Jul 21, 2005, 04:40 PM

i know its not nice to make fun of the dead but that guy is a loser i mean he wore a wizards hat ....wow i thought star wars geeks were bad

Well, some people do dress up with star wars costumes, so naturally I assumed that story could've been true.

Yvan256

Jul 21, 2005, 04:41 PM

Funny, at the Camp Apple workshop, there were quite a few kids and their accompanying mothers (dunno why there were no fathers). I also saw quite a few HP books-- all being read by the parents who were doggedly ignoring the sleeve-pulling and whining of their kids. :D

LOL, even with the current topic, I actually read that as "Hewlett-Packard books". :D

xli_ne

Jul 21, 2005, 04:58 PM

LOL, even with the current topic, I actually read that as "Hewlett-Packard books". :D

sadly, so did i :D

devilot

Jul 21, 2005, 05:02 PM

sadly, so did i
Eewwwwwwww. Nerds.:D

A bit OT, but as for those Darwin Awards, I dunno pretty hard to beat the guy who strapped missile rockets to his car and slammed into a cliff side. He thought he was safe because he was in the desert. :rolleyes:

GeeYouEye

Jul 21, 2005, 08:18 PM

Haha, that's pretty good. I wonder if it's just I, but everytime I read "avada kedavra" I think "abra cadabra.":o
Nope, not just you.

Lacero

Jul 21, 2005, 08:22 PM

BOROWITZ IS A HUMOR WEBSITE LIKE THE ONIONThe Onion is a humor website? :(

mac 2005

Jul 21, 2005, 09:34 PM

BOROWITZ IS A HUMOR WEBSITE LIKE THE ONION

Thank you.

As soon as I saw the guy's photo on the link, I knew the thing was a joke. Not only does he write a regular humor column for Newsweek, but he also appears regularly on "90-Second Pop" for CNN.

mac 2005

Jul 21, 2005, 09:34 PM

The Onion is a humor website? :(

Well, yes. Then again: Sometimes: No, not so much.

quackattack

Jul 21, 2005, 11:03 PM

Well maybe if the article were a little funnier we wouldn't have had this confusion. It was clearly a joke, but reading it down didn't exactly have me laughing out loud.

Besides, I think there were several of us considering suicide when were first heard the Tiger "spoilers," you know dashboard, spotlight..... ;)

Phat_Pat

Jul 21, 2005, 11:11 PM

Besides, I think there were several of us considering suicide when were first heard the Tiger "spoilers," you know dashboard, spotlight..... ;)
riiiiight. :rolleyes:

Rocksaurus

Jul 22, 2005, 02:38 AM

i know its not nice to make fun of the dead but that guy is a loser i mean he wore a wizards hat ....wow i thought star wars geeks were bad

Post of the month.

iMeowbot

Jul 22, 2005, 03:09 AM

this all won an award for humor?!?!?
Well, Borowitz did (http://www.press.org/abouttheclub/record/2004/record-07-01-04.shtml).

THE 1ST ANNUAL ANGELE GINGRAS HUMOR AWARD honors excellent in humor writing.
Body of Work: First place—Andy Borowitz, Newsweek.com.

~Shard~

Jul 22, 2005, 09:29 AM

~Shard~

Jul 22, 2005, 09:30 AM

The Onion is a humor website? :(

I suppose it depends on your sense of humor... ;)

iDM

Jul 22, 2005, 09:38 AM

Lol... I love threads like these.

Remember those 'tests' they gave in school where they warn you to read the instructions very carefully? ;)

Yea i do remember them I always did horrible cause I never read the directions, just assumed I knew what was asked, and always biffed the simpliest questions.

blackpeter

Jul 22, 2005, 12:42 PM

BOROWITZ IS A HUMOR WEBSITE LIKE THE ONION

Okay, okay. Calm down! Jeez...

Jaffa Cake

Jul 22, 2005, 04:27 PM

It's a good job it was just a humour site – if people really did get that upset about Harry Potter then the population of Shropshire (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/shropshire/4704343.stm) might be a little less numerous this evening... ;)

rendezvouscp

Jul 23, 2005, 04:18 AM

Humorous, but definitely not funny. Sadly there are people out there who are that extreme, but really, I had to wonder about the fact that he killed himself over the spoiler he heard, but why hadn't he bought the book at the midnight released and have read it in the first few hours?

Oh, and about the Star Wars people: I don't think that fans dress up as Obi Wan and go into grocery stores with light sabers while waving the automatic door open like they have the force. :rolleyes:
-Chase

~Shard~

Jul 23, 2005, 11:36 AM

Oh, and about the Star Wars people: I don't think that fans dress up as Obi Wan and go into grocery stores with light sabers while waving the automatic door open like they have the force. :rolleyes:
-Chase

Be careful - we are talking about Star Wars fans here! They never cease to amaze me - I once ran across one who wore a Jedi hair braid thingy at work all the time and thought nothing of it. Another one had memorized the films in so much detail that he could recite Greedo's lines, both translated and native. :eek:

And this is but one example of many.... :cool:

And of course not all Star Wars fans are like this - heck, I'd consider myself a Star Wars fan, but the extreme ones, in my opinion, can get very extreme. ;)