PDA

View Full Version : Most of you will hate this, but the I found it hilarious.


markjs
Dec 3, 2002, 06:23 PM
Macs and Mac users. Can't make it better? Put it in a fruity looking case! Why spend millions on research and development on new OS's or hardware that's truly better than your competion when you can spend much less and make it really different on the OUTSIDE? Welcome to the future! Same ****, new choice of colors. Enjoy your one button mouse and fifteen inch monitor! Upgrade? Don't be silly. Everything is already built in! That way, when you feel like you need a more powerful machine, you don't swap the processor and motherboard for a couple hundred bucks like on a PC. Instead, you spend a couple thousand more and throw away your old Mac like an old Dreamcast. Your neighbors will think you're throwing away an artsy lamp from the 1960's. Not that you're really going to need to upgrade soon, since most Mac users I talk to say things like, "I don't understand PC users. How many word processors do you need?" That's the thing. Mac users think of a computer as a letter-writing machine, or at the most, a box that can run Photoshop and go on AOL and design their Geocities webpage. They always complain about how PC's are "too complicated" or that they "don't work properly." Is it really a marketing point that your computer is easier to use for people who are too stupid to use a PC? "Oh my GOD! It just, like, bleepy-bleepy-bleepy der-stroyed the paper I was, like, working on! And, like, it ummmm.. like, sounded, like, so good too, because I'm ummm... like, a master of, like, verbal ummmmm... skills. And like, My Dad's computer-machine-box-thingy just like... DEVOURED it. It's like uhhh ..................................................................... a bummer (Whew - for a second, I couldn't think of the right word). I mean, like... It couldn't possibly have been like, ummm because I deleted it, or like... ummmm.. I didn't save it after I made changes, or something, because uhhhhhhhhhh I'm.... umm... like smart. I'm Ellen Feiss, and I'm on Ketamine." Gee! It couldn't possibly be because the user is completely inept or that having far more configuration options would be inherently more problematic than shipping a whole computer from the factory with a "Warranty Void If This Seal Is Broken" sticker on it. Think of it as a Toyota Camry vs. a Racecar. The Camry is an all-in-one deal that is steady and reliable. A racecar is much more problematic, but much more configurable for better performance. "Windows PC's CRASH! HAHAHA!" They say it as though Macs NEVER crash or have errors. "Awwwww - it had a little boo-boo! That sucks, but I just can't stay mad at my Mac because he has that sweet little smiley face and a cute widdle turquoise case. Awwwww. Baby's so cute when he spits up!" Another amusing factor is that Mac thinks it's a selling point that their computers can EVEN run some Windows programs like Word and Excel. You're PROUD because your product can (and needs to) EMULATE your competitor? "Switch to us, because we're the same!" If the greatest thing you can boast is that you can run your competition's software, isn't that the complete essence of defeat? What a great battle cry! "ME TOO!!!" It's a lot easier and requires a lot less courage and legitimate innovation than, "I'm Better." How many Mac programs are commonly used on PC's? The only one I can think of is Quicktime, and no, I don't think it's time to switch to Mac so it can run native. They want to play both sides of the coin. "We're the same! We're different!" "Think BETTER?" Nope. Just "Think Different." You should have something better to say than, "We're not like our hugely successful competitor. We're some OTHER company and our computers are DIFFERENT. And on the occasion that similarity would strengthen our marketing, we'll opt to say that we're THE SAME. Not better. Not more innovative. We're the OTHER company. Buy OUR'S because it's not THEIR'S." Mac users act like some sort of weird cult of scientologists too. They'll defend using a Mac with the same zeal and fervor as some whacked-out doomsday cult member with nothing to back it up besides rhetoric. "SHUT UP! MAC IS BETTER!!!" "In what ways?" "Ummmmm.... I don't know... uhhh... I just LIKE it. Yessss, my Precioussssss. SHUT UP! YOU'RE STUPID! You're BILL GATES' PUPPET! (As though Mac owners are somehow not Steve Jobs' puppets) THIS LITTLE PURPLE BOX OF CIRCUITS CONTAINS THE ANSWERS TO LIFE'S MYSTERIES AND I HOLD THE KEY!!!" "That's a mouse." "INFIDEL!" Just give it up, guys. Stop trying to throw benchmarks at me like I'm gonna trade in my PC and it's hundreds of times more applications, games, and hardware options merely for more processor speed (if it's even applicable). The age of the Mac decisively ended with Win95. VHS was supposedly not as high quality as Betamax. Beta owners didn't try to hang on. They switched. Throw in the towel.

More like it at this place. (http://negativepositive.org/Things-that-need-to-die.html)

Edited to add:
I do agree with the guy on most points he makes, but certainly you have your right to like Macs, and I am sure if I wanted to find it there are things I would like about them. I personally choose a PC because I think you get more bang for the buck and I like to build my own. In any case, I am not trying to cause a fight or anything, I just thought it was a funny rant. I joined the board to ask some Mac related quesions, not to get in a Mac vs. PC debate, so anyway, if you want to flame me over this, feel free, I am a big boy and I can take it. Enjoy the Mac life.

pianojoe
Dec 3, 2002, 06:42 PM
Does your PC support line breaks?

Fezwick
Dec 3, 2002, 07:03 PM
A lot of that stuff is from George Carlin

Sun Baked
Dec 3, 2002, 07:08 PM
Next time spend the extra $5 and get a keyboard with a working RETURN key, but what do you expect from someone who builds their own PC.

http://forums.macrumors.com/attachment.php?postid=158571

markjs
Dec 3, 2002, 07:24 PM
I simply cut and pasted it as is from the site in the link. I didn't sit here typing all that. At least I can build a PC. I would probably build a Mac for fun and learning if I could.

beez7777
Dec 3, 2002, 07:51 PM
Originally posted by Fezwick
A lot of that stuff is from George Carlin

hmm. i dont remember george saying any of that stuff, and im a huge fan of his ( just saw him live a few weeks ago), although he did mention something about mac users, but it wasn't that.
anyway, i didn't find any of that to be funny at all. if some one makes a funny joke stereotyping mac users, i'll laugh. but i think that that was just stupid. and yeah, break up the lines a little, even if its straight from an article.

cr2sh
Dec 3, 2002, 07:57 PM
Originally posted by markjs
At least I can build a PC.

All I can say is: Welcome to Fifth grade.

The majority of us are high-end users. There are very few of us here, who haven't torn apart a PC and upgraded something, just to find that it STILL sucks. There are few here who have not built entire new machines themselves, diligently researching each part to get the best they could and in the end, STILL hated what they were using.

You can build a pc, well congratulations. Guess what though, it still sucks. You're so much brighter than all of us, you have this skill of toiling, diligently and methodically, with what we consider a complete waste of time, and yet you're proud of it. Brag on my friend, brag on. It is our keenness that makes us mac users, and you our counterpart.

Durandal7
Dec 3, 2002, 08:17 PM
The thing seems to be very dated with pre-OS X references and ranting about colored computer.

chmorley
Dec 3, 2002, 08:17 PM
hi, troll.

get a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a life or whatever.

bye, troll.

medea
Dec 3, 2002, 08:19 PM
Originally posted by markjs
I simply cut and pasted it as is from the site in the link. I didn't sit here typing all that. At least I can build a PC. I would probably build a Mac for fun and learning if I could.

umm anyone can build a pc, its as easy as piecing together legos....only not as worthwile......;)
I agree with Durandal, Apple doesnt even use the multi-color scheme anymore.
oh and how exactly did win95 end the age of the macs??????