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jive
Aug 14, 2006, 03:52 PM
http://static.flickr.com/89/215294704_37a72f19cf_t.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=215294704&size=o)

It's a recurring theme (white rounded rectangles and verdana with tight kerning) so those can't be altered but the overall layout etc? It's going to be A6.



Cheers for the comments etc? Also, can someone please comment on one of my Flickr images? I've yet to get a comment ;_;



Blue Velvet
Aug 14, 2006, 04:01 PM
Text in right-handed rounded corner box is too tight to the top of the box. Also in the same box, use 2-3mm 'space after' or 'before' to get tighter paragraph spacing, not extra line breaks/paragraph returns.

jive
Aug 14, 2006, 04:03 PM
How do you go about this in Illustrator? Every time I try to change the height in between lines it mucks up 2 many of them >_>


Err, in other words, explain to a noob please?

mkrishnan
Aug 14, 2006, 04:03 PM
I like the overall style, color scheme, and layout....here are my personal thoughts.

There are several things I do not like about the block of text beginning "following...."

- There is way too much text
- The text is too close to the borders of the bounding box
- It is not concise and I lose track of what is being said -- it doesn't bring out the key points.
- The wording itself is iffy... "too bring many fans" is definitely neither right nor stylishly wrong. ;) "state the name of who you came to see" is awkward too.
- You print the myspace web link twice. I personally think you're better off without beating around the bush. delete the "for more info..." and just make the URL itself bigger.

tobefirst
Aug 14, 2006, 04:04 PM
I think it's a worthy effort. I like the name: I think it garners attention and piques the curious mind, especially of the male. (:

I would move the...ahem..."image" over to the left so that the cleavage is centered in the negative space to the left. Even though it said "wonderbra" in the title, I found it a little hard to find the wonderbra. Seeing the cleavage a little bit better would help that. (:

First line of body copy: month's, not months.

I also might play with a black border around the entire piece, mimmicking the border around the title-face.

Following BV's suggestion of "space after" will allow you to move the text frame down a little, making the copy move a little ways from its bounding box, one of mkrishnan's complaints.

Blue Velvet
Aug 14, 2006, 04:08 PM
Put the text in a separate block over the rounded box or baseline shift it down with the character palette under the 'show options' option (little triangle top-right of palette).

Space after or before are in the Paragraph palette also under the 'show options' option (little triangle top-right of palette).

Go to Illlustrator Help (F1) and search for 'Changing space above or below paragraphs'

beatsme
Aug 14, 2006, 04:09 PM
http://static.flickr.com/89/215294704_37a72f19cf_t.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=215294704&size=o)

It's a recurring theme (white rounded rectangles and verdana with tight kerning) so those can't be altered but the overall layout etc? It's going to be A6.



Cheers for the comments etc? Also, can someone please comment on one of my Flickr images? I've yet to get a comment ;_;

bigger boobs...can't go wrong with bigger boobs

I agree that the spacing is a bit tight. Are you uncertain as to how to loosen it up? I couldn't quite suss out what you meant from your post...

jive
Aug 14, 2006, 06:30 PM
Ok, I've redone it - http://www.flickr.com/photos/corbtt/215487622/


What do you think now? I've reworded and rearranged everything.

beatsme
Aug 14, 2006, 06:45 PM
Ok, I've redone it - http://www.flickr.com/photos/corbtt/215487622/


What do you think now? I've reworded and rearranged everything.

hehehe...I was only kidding about the boobs, but they are more prominent :)

looks good I think...

rdowns
Aug 14, 2006, 06:58 PM
- There is way too much text


There was text in that pic?

apfhex
Aug 14, 2006, 07:53 PM
Ok, I've redone it - http://www.flickr.com/photos/corbtt/215487622/
Looks better. But. Do you have some negative tracking on your text or something? All the letters look very squished together and overall the text has a very dense feeling. I know you already lessened the paragraph spacing but I think it could use just a *bit* more spacing.

tobefirst
Aug 14, 2006, 08:46 PM
I think I like my suggestion of the black border. (:

jive
Aug 15, 2006, 05:02 AM
Yeah, it's a theme throughout the whole event -100 spacing on verdana. I know it looks squished but so does cleavage M I RIGHT?!