Mr. Dwyer and Me Part 1,245

[iGary]

Don Dwyer is a sleestak that represents the Glen Burnie (redneck) district here in Maryland.

http://byrnerobotics.com/forum/uploads/BillLukash/2005-07-26_215034_Sleestak.jpghttp://www.mdarchives.state.md.us/msa/mdmanual/06hse/images/1198-1-1244b.jpg


Some may be aware that I write this man frequently, (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=174875&highlight=dwyer) and get letters back from his helpful staff. (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=176325&highlight=dwyer)

Additionally, he's failed (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=177736&highlight=dwyer) to get a gay marriage ammendment passed and gets laughed at (http://www.hometownannapolis.com/cgi-bin/read/2006/02_05-38/GOV) by most anyone with a brain.

He's even gone so far as to try and remove a judge that said the Maryland law banning gay marriage was unconstitutional (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=186018&highlight=dwyer) by impeaching her (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=182616&highlight=dwyer).

I obviously don't like this man very much.

Today, I pull up into Trader Joe's to do my weekly bit o' shopping and pull into a space next to a minivan with a "Re-elect Delegate Dwyer" bumper sticker.

I originally wanted to put a tire iron through the owners skull, but decided that would be bad, so I went inside and bought my case of Smart Water, some wraps and some Cliff Bars. Oh, some yogurt smoothies too; I love those things.

To my horror, I come out and this woman is loading her groceries in while I load mine. I couldn't help myself.

"I noticed you had a Don Dwyer sticker on your van."

"Yeah, we really hope he gets re-elected."

"May I be so bold as to ask why?"

"We really think he is protecting Maryland's values and families."

(She took the bait.)

"What's endangering Maryland's values and families," I ask.

"The homosexual and liberal agenda."

"Interesting, what's that agenda."

"To change the definition of marriage, change our families, corrupt our children. "

"Wow I haven't heard about this."

"Exactly how do the liberals and homosexuals destroy families?"

( I can't believe she is dumb enough to still be talking to me at this point, but hey, she likes Don Dwyer.)

"Homosexuals are deviant."

"OK, you lost me, how does that effect your family?"

"By changing marriage."

"OK, you lost me again, how does that effect you?"

"Well if they start marrying gays, then what next? Cat's?"

"Well cat's can't give consent, so it would be pretty hard to get a cat to say I Do."

"They spread that agenda to our kids."

"Really, I have 40 members in my immediate family and among ten 18+ year olds, none of them is gay. None of them feel like I am a threat to their kids at all. In fact their kids think I rock."

"YOU'RE GAY?"

She then slams her van and burns rubber off into the distance of the parking lot like she's seen Jimmy Hoffa.

Amazing.

[Jaffa Cake]

She then slams her van and burns rubber off into the distance of the parking lot like she's seen Jimmy Hoffa.No doubt she wanted to get home straight away and compose a strongly worded letter to Mr Dwyer, horrified that one of those terrible, deviant homosexuals had infiltrated Glen Burnie. It used to be such a nice area...

Amazing indeed.

[skunk]

Amazing.Nice moves, Gazza. :D

[zap2]

Yup...I've yet to understand how people think gays are taking rights away from others...I like how you played I cool, then shocked her at the end...very nice

[zimv20]

well played, sir. buy her a t-shirt that says, "I talked to a gay person and I'm still straight."

[beatsme]

I originally wanted to put a tire iron through the owners skull

people like that don't deserve the mercy of a quick death by tire iron :mad:

unbelievable...

[katie ta achoo]

I like your style, iGary. :)

[rdowns]

I loves me some iGary.

[fistful]

Can you blame her? Homosexuality is contagious. You can catch it from toilet seats, door knobs, hell being in the same room as a homosexual can put you at risk.

Hopefully she goes in to quarantine, permanently.

[yg17]

I think she was worried you gave her a nasty case of homoitis....

[puckhead193]

Hahaha.... o no a homosexual :eek: run!

I originally wanted to put a tire iron through the owners skull, but decided that would be bad, so I went inside and bought my case of Smart Water, some wraps and some Cliff Bars. Oh, some yogurt smoothies too; I love those things.


good stuff, i never thought about smart water from them, is it a good deal?

[iGary]

Hahaha.... o no a homosexual :eek: run!


good stuff, i never thought about smart water from them, is it a good deal?

Not really - a buck a bottle, but it's about 30% less expansive than most places. I need to buy a distiller. Once you drink good water, everything else tastes pretty bad. :(

Imagine what this loony woman is telling her family tonight.

Attacked, she was. :D

[Thomas Veil]

Today, I pull up into Trader Joe's to do my weekly bit o' shopping and pull into a space next to a minivan with a "Re-elect Delegate Dwyer" bumper sticker.

I originally wanted to put a tire iron through the owners skull...Well, now you know that she's already got brain damage.

Even so: best story I've heard in a long time. Thanks for sharing. :p

P.S. I'm straight. I'm not going to catch homo-cooties by talking to you through the internet, am I? :D

[Queso]

Imagine what this loony woman is telling her family tonight.
If she's spoken to them yet. I imagine she's been scrubbing herself rabidly in the shower ever since she got back from her hastily arranged Church visit.

Well played that man :)

[pseudobrit]

She probably bought a gun tonight.

[balamw]

Did you mention that you are also a Republican? Her brain might just have exploded right there and then.

Just goes to show that TJ's appeal crosses many boundaries, even if most of the people I seem to meet there are tree-hugging pinko liberals.

B

[trebblekicked]

expect a boycott of trader joe's soon.

it's fun blowing small minds, isn't it? :)

[iSaint]

Was she missing any teeth?

I ain't right...but, Gary sure is! :D

[aquajet]

iGary turned me gay. It was all those dirty posts and seeing him on that airplane show. It was just too much gay for me to handle. :p

[MACDRIVE]

You mean to tell me that homosexuals are actually out there roaming around on the earth? :eek: I need to start building me a bomb shelter. :p

[aquajet]

You mean to tell me that homosexuals are actually out there roaming around on the earth?

Roaming around, searching for marriages and families to destroy and children to corrupt and babies to eat.

[mactastic]

"YOU'RE GAY?"
Christ, first I find out Rob's gay, now you too? I had no idea. My world is really crumbling around me now. And my marriage... it feels so threatened suddenly. Keep that goddamn agenda away from my kid! These last few weeks before he's born are when he's most succeptible to catching the gay.


Lol... I bet she thought gay men look like scary monsters, and she'd be easily able to spot them by their fangs and horns and hoofs.

Of course, you could have helped her by showing her the clip of you on Airline...

[mkrishnan]

I wish I could set my DVR to record back episodes of this series. :o

[stillwater]

Nicely done. Wish I could have seen that. I love confounding the ignorant and intolerant.

[iGary]

I wish I could set my DVR to record back episodes of this series. :o

I think jsw has the segments mirrored somewhere.

[rdowns]

I wish I could set my DVR to record back episodes of this series. :o

What's a through passenger? :D


Episode Teaser (http://formymac.com/MR/Airline_iGary_teaser_Y.mov)

Scene 1 (http://formymac.com/MR/Airline_iGary_Scene1.mov)*

Scene 2 (http://formymac.com/MR/Airline_iGary_Scene2_Y.mov)

Scene 3 (http://formymac.com/MR/Airline_iGary_Scene3_Y.mov)

Scene 4 (http://formymac.com/MR/Airline_iGary_Scene4_Y.mov)

[iGary]

Fear me. :p

http://att.macrumors.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=57000&d=1157903975


"Belly full of waiting." :rolleyes:

[mkrishnan]

Wow. :eek: I think you could even take on Steve Ballmer. And his developers developers developers developers. Developers developers developers developers. But it would be a close call. Because you might slip and fall on his sweat. :eek: ;)

[pseudobrit]

Lol... I bet she thought gay men look like scary monsters, and she'd be easily able to spot them by their fangs and horns and hoofs..

She probably truly thought all homosexuals flamers or obvious transvestites.

[scem0]

grrrr.... People like that make me very very angry. How dare they tell me how I should live my life, I don't tell them how to live theirs.

e

[yg17]

Fear me. :p

http://att.macrumors.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=57000&d=1157903975



Thats what probably freaked her out....you don't look gay. She probably lived her life thinking that if she avoided any man wearing a pink shirt and short shorts, she'd would never catch a nasty case of homoitis and her life wouldn't be ruined by being in the presence of a gay person, but now that she found out that someone who dresses normally can be gay, well, it probably really scared her. She probably won't be going out in public now because anyone around her could be gay, and she doesn't want to be around these people destroying american morals :rolleyes:

[cslewis]

Freaky coincidence time!

Glen Burnie, hmm...

My memory is sketchy, but iGary, do you live in some multistory (I think they are either 3 or 4 floor) condos a very short drive from a big commercial strip?

[iGary]

Freaky coincidence time!

Glen Burnie, hmm...

My memory is sketchy, but iGary, do you live in some multistory (I think they are either 3 or 4 floor) condos a very short drive from a big commercial strip?

I did. :eek:

You actually look like a friend of mine's brother.

*does this get weird now?*

[ChrisWB]

iGary,

She was probably so surprised because you don't dress or act flamboyantly. People like this tend to believe gay people look and act different.

[nbs2]

I think everybody not familiar with MD politics should be made aware of a few things that Gary didn't make so clear.

The only people in the state that seem to like Donnie are the folks in his district that vote for him. Even other Republicans around the state think he is a moron. So, please do not judge the rest of us based on his behavior. Blame the folks in Gary's area.

Second, can I count him as my compliment to Ray Nagin? If this guy became the mayor of and asked me to help rebuild Glen Burnie, I wouldn't spend a penny or a second trying to help either.

[Jay42]

I often wonder about what we will think about our culture 50 years from now. You look at the Civil Rights Era, and you can't believe that people were so openly racist then (I acknowledge that racism still exists, but there is no more racial segregation by law.) Then I think, 50 years from now, what will we be amazed about? About what will we say "Gee, I can't believe people actually thought that." Well, when you hear stories like this...

PS. I don't mean to offend anyones religion or beliefs.

[cslewis]

I did. :eek:

You actually look like a friend of mine's brother.

*does this get weird now?*

Haha. All the streets had "water" names... did you know a "Bluewater Court?"

[solvs]

How dare they tell me how I should live my life, I don't tell them how to live theirs.
Don't you see? By trying to live your own life and be gay, you're pushing your agenda on good Christians who want to tell you how to live your life according to what they believe. Somehow. But that's not pushing their agenda, that's just being a good Christian. Yeah, I don't get it either.

Jesus didn't say anything about gays, and no one follows anything else in Leviticus because to do so would be deplorable. But the Bible makes a good excuse to hate fags, even if I'll bet most of those who are anti-homosexual couldn't even name a Bible verse if pressed and don't follow any of the important stuff like peace and love. Don't worry though, most of us aren't that bad. No, really.

[maxterpiece]

I wouldn't have told her I was gay. If she had asked I woulda said so, but it just gives her an excuse to discount everything you've said.

People like that though, god could call them up to heaven, sit them on his/her lap and tell them to be tolerant and understanding of all races, sexualities, etc, and they would still find a way to rationalize the experience away. They are weak people. They don't have the strength to manage a world where there are gray areas, and will do anything to protect their simple and intolerant mindset.

[ReanimationLP]

While I personally love Glen Burnie, I will agree with you that this guy is an asshat and needs to be taken out to a shooting range and used for target practice.

Have you noticed most of his websites links actually are local links?

[iGary]

Haha. All the streets had "water" names... did you know a "Bluewater Court?"

Sounds familiar? :confused:

[ReanimationLP]

******* yes!

He lost the Primarys!

[mactastic]

******* yes!

He lost the Primarys!
Dwyer did? Oh man, iGary must be dancing a jig today...

[iGary]

Dwyer did? Oh man, iGary must be dancing a jig today...

I had not seen confirmation of this. Link?

But I did just find out that we share a birth date. :rolleyes:

[Queso]

But I did just find out that we share a birth date. :rolleyes:
Well that explains it. One of you is the evil twin :D

[iGary]

Well that explains it. One of you is the evil twin :D

I'd love to see an official report, though. I have scoured our local papers and Google and come up with nothing. His Web site reports nothing. :(

[mactastic]

How about it Reanimation... any links to prove Dwyer lost? Where did you hear it?

[pseudobrit]

Maryland State House District 31 (R)
Candidate Votes %
Steve Schuh 4,693 29
Don Dwyer * 3,508 21
Nicholaus Kipke 3,380 21
James Braswell 2,518 15
Pat Corcoran 2,239 14
Precincts: 100% | Updated: 6:52 p.m. ET | Source: AP

linky (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/metro/elections/2006/maryland/Maryland_State_House_District_31.html)

[zimv20]

igary -- somewhere there's a homophobic woman in a minivan blaming you.

[iGary]

Maryland State House District 31 (R)
Candidate Votes %
Steve Schuh 4,693 29
Don Dwyer * 3,508 21
Nicholaus Kipke 3,380 21
James Braswell 2,518 15
Pat Corcoran 2,239 14
Precincts: 100% | Updated: 6:52 p.m. ET | Source: AP

linky (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/metro/elections/2006/maryland/Maryland_State_House_District_31.html)

Thanks.

A little victory - and we got rid of Willy Don, and Steele won.

So far the people of MD have not disappointed too greatly.

Must be the agenda™. ;)

[pseudobrit]

igary -- somewhere there's a homophobic woman in a minivan blaming you.

iGary and his 1184 gay comrades. Dwyer, whose education credits consisted of "Glen Burnie HS" got beaten by a Dartmouth/Johns Hopkins/Harvard Business grad.

What do you think is the most urgent problem facing your jurisdiction?

"The most urgent problem we face is that political correctness is destroying the liberties and freedoms that this country was founded upon. We have forgotten the blood that was shed and the lives given in order that we be free people. The moral values of our Founding Fathers have value."

****ing loser

[iGary]

iGary and his 1184 gay comrades. Dwyer, whose education credits consisted of "Glen Burnie HS" got beaten by a Dartmouth/Johns Hopkins/Harvard Business grad.



****ing loser

He also ran a t-shirt company. :rolleyes:

Thank God he's gone.

[XNine]

Maybe I'm being dense, but doesn't "homo" mean of bipedal decent? So, if that's true, and you're homo-SEXUAL, that means you like to have sex with other bipedals, right? Then how in the hell did gays (which is another word used incorrectly) and lesbians become homosexuals?!?!?!?!?! It makes no sense to call them that, as all of us have sex with other bipedal beings (unless you're into soem strange crap or an amputee). I understand the crude term "fag," and where that comes from. But seriously. "homosexual?" That is quite stupid.

Anyway, mad props on the confusing of another fear-driven neocon slut, Gary.

SALUTE!

[iGary]

Maybe I'm being dense, but doesn't "homo" mean of bipedal decent? So, if that's true, and you're homo-SEXUAL, that means you like to have sex with other bipedals, right? Then how in the hell did gays (which is another word used incorrectly) and lesbians become homosexuals?!?!?!?!?! It makes no sense to call them that, as all of us have sex with other bipedal beings (unless you're into soem strange crap or an amputee). I understand the crude term "fag," and where that comes from. But seriously. "homosexual?" That is quite stupid.

Anyway, mad props on the confusing of another fear-driven neocon slut, Gary.

SALUTE!

Nice to have you back. :)

[XNine]

Nice to have you back. :)

I have a present ready for you, btw. I've taken some time during my away time to do something I think you'll have an appreciation for. It's almsot done, and when it's ready I shall give it to you.

[skunk]

Maybe I'm being dense, but doesn't "homo" mean of bipedal decent? So, if that's true, and you're homo-SEXUAL, that means you like to have sex with other bipedals, right? Homos = same (in Greek)
Heteros = other (in Greek)
Homo = man (in Latin).

Hence your confusion.

[iGary]

I have a present ready for you, btw. I've taken some time during my away time to do something I think you'll have an appreciation for. It's almsot done, and when it's ready I shall give it to you.

*interest piqued* :)

[Music_Producer]

Remind me to keep my cat far, far away from you iGary :p

PS - those two images that you first posted cracked me up.. its been a couple of minutes and i'm still laughing!