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P-Worm
May 28, 2003, 11:12 PM
Well my dog died today and I feel very little remorse. Am I a horrible person? Our dog had back problems and we had to put it to sleep or it would be paralyzed and live a horrible life. I loved that dog, but I don't feel empty inside now that it is gone. I think I have just come to realize that death is natural and in the grand scheme of things isn't a huge deal. What do you guys think? Am I cold-hearted?

P-Worm

DavidFDM
May 28, 2003, 11:22 PM
Death is a difficult thing. The one thing I have learned is that everyone grieves in their own way. Right now you may just be in shock and eventually the gravity of the situation will hit you.

Regardless, you have my sympathies. I was devastated when I lost my dog a couple of years ago.

Best regards,

David

pivo6
May 28, 2003, 11:24 PM
No. You're actually taking a buddhist view toward death. Death is inevitable and something that you shouldn't be scared or upset about. If your dog led a long and happy life, then remember that. You do have my sympathy.

sillymacgirl
May 28, 2003, 11:26 PM
I am truely sorry to hear about your loss. I must say that's very courageous that you chose to put the dog to sleep rather then watch is suffer. Too many people allow their pets to suffer, so they can avoid suffering the loss of the animal. I don't think you are cold hearted about it because you aren't upset. Knowing that you did what was best for the dog has probably helped a lot. Also, when you lose a loved one(whether it be a friend, family member, pet, whatever) it doesn't always hit you right away. And people also grieve differently. Maybe you aren't a person who cries and carries on when someone dies? The best of luck to you!

bombensington
May 28, 2003, 11:26 PM
i completely understand. my dog died when i was 16...i loved her sooo much. i grew up with her there, and to have her leave...it was devastating.

she was well past her prime, though, and in hindsight i know that it was better for her. she was in a lot of pain, i'm sure. she was deaf and blind towards the end...couldn't control her bladder/bowel...it was bad. she actually ran into the car, not the other way around. it was so sad...so the decision was made to put her down.

pets have such a special bond with humans. i am convinced that people are just generally happier when they have a pet around to give them that unconditional love.

you know that you've made the right decision, albeit a hard one...and that's okay that you're okay with it.

tazo
May 28, 2003, 11:26 PM
My condolences; losing a pet is always hard, as often they can be some of our better friends.

Try and remember the good times :)

hope that helps.

-tazo

P-Worm
May 28, 2003, 11:57 PM
Hey thanks.

I'm actually very concerned about my little sister. She' almost 9 and losing her best friend (it was her dog) was the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to her. she doesn't even want to look at the dog, go to it's funeral etc. because she can't bear the sight of it. she says that she wants a new dog soon (probably thinking that it will be like having that dog back), but I'm worried that it might just grieve her more. What do you guys think?

P-Worm

pivo6
May 29, 2003, 12:05 AM
Originally posted by P-Worm
Hey thanks.

I'm actually very concerned about my little sister. She' almost 9 and losing her best friend (it was her dog) was the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to her. she doesn't even want to look at the dog, go to it's funeral etc. because she can't bear the sight of it. she says that she wants a new dog soon (probably thinking that it will be like having that dog back), but I'm worried that it might just grieve her more. What do you guys think?

P-Worm

I agree. I think that she should wait on a new dog at least until the pain of the old dog goes away or at least lessens.

Roger1
May 29, 2003, 05:37 AM
My sister had to put her dog down this past weekend. Her and her son are really upset about, but they are consoling (sp?) themselves that he is out of pain, and now in dog heaven. Her concern is that her son wants the same kind of dog and give it the same name. She decided that the best thing to do is to wait a while then get another dog, and give it a differnent name. I don't know if she is getting the same breed or not..

Anyway, I think it would be ok to get your sister a new dog. I would wait about six months or so, that way the pain of her loss can diminish some, then maybe suprise her with a puppy :)

Hope this help you a little.

bcsimac
May 29, 2003, 08:15 AM
Hey,

I am sorry to hear about your dog. I remember how bad I felt when grandma had to put one of her dogs away. Ya know when my mom and dad split up and I had to get my mom and bring her to Boston, we had two dogs. Ciindy and Buddy were their names. Cindy was old and had arthritis and buddy had a bitting problem when he thought he was being abused.....even if he wasn't and all you were doing was trying to give him a bath......the shelter said he had been abused before. Mom had to leave cindy and buddy behind when I came and got her. She asked the handy man to take them or find a good home for them. Unfortunately my dad got to them first. What really hurt us is finding out what my dad did to buddy and cindy. My dad took the dogs to the garage and without any remorse or care shot them with a .22. He then threw them in his burn pile. That my friend is cold-hearted and makes me angry. I have to accept the fact that I knew my dad hated animals.....especially dogs. I also have to accept the fact that I know my dad also did it to send a message to my mother about how much he hated her. We grieved over cindy and buddy for a long time. It took us a while to get over it.

My sister who graduated from college last year got some pomerians and they had pups. She gave me one of them. My fiance and I named him TJ (trouble junior for short). He is cute as punch. He loves to run and play like his momma Pistol. He is always excited. Recently, TJ got injured when her daddy hit him with his car. I took TJ to the vet, and the vet sowed up his eye lid together because TJ's eye was swollen and had partially come out of its socket. I took him back to the vet twice for checkups. The vet says TJ did wonderfully well. He thinks we saved all of TJ's vision. That makes me very happy. TJ now is at my fiance's and have fun playing with Sassy.......their dog. I can't wait until I can bring TJ to the apartment.......whenever I can afford to pay the dog fees and the vets to give him the rest of his shots.

jefhatfield
May 29, 2003, 11:24 AM
i think when one has an old dog, the decision to put it down becomes a very personal one...at what point is too much suffering?

i do see animals that are way past their prime and in every way they suffer terribly...i feel that keeping the pet around THAT long is wrong, but i am never one to tell the owner that...i know a lady who has a cat that is way way too fat and it really suffers because of it, and from time to time, i comment on it hoping it will help the cat get thinner and live a more happy life

P-Worm
May 29, 2003, 02:19 PM
Whoa bcsimac, that is a really sad story. In my opinion, people that purposefully kill animals shouldn't get off any easier than people that kill other people. Life is being ended both ways.

P-Worm

wdlove
May 29, 2003, 02:40 PM
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your dog P-Worm. It's never easy, even if you in your heart it's the best thing for the dog. I have put many dogs to sleep during my life. Each time I know in my mind that I'm doing the right thing, even the vet agrees. But when the actual time comes my heart takes over and I cry! :( I find that it really helps to get another dog soon afterward. For me it's usually within 6 months!

MacFan25
May 29, 2003, 04:13 PM
I'm very sorry to hear about your dog, P-Worm. :( I've never lost a dog, but I'm sure that it would be hard.

GeneR
May 29, 2003, 07:18 PM
I believe it's a sign of character what choices you make and why you make them. Obviously your dog was in a lot of pain and you were doing it out of compassion. I think that says a lot about you.

Sometimes it seems we have to make those hard decisions. I've had to put down pets when my family was too indecisive or to guilt-ridden to act, to take the responsibility, and to think about the kind of pain the pets were going through. Did that twice with the two cats we loved the most. Don't know if that equates to what happened with your dog, but I feel I can relate.

Take your time with getting a new dog. It may be better just to talk about your last one, thus allow the feelings to flow. After a while, maybe, with the sharing, you'll all feel ready to talk about getting a new one. Anyway, best of luck.

mymemory
May 29, 2003, 07:51 PM
The only pain we should be affraid of is the love we hold.

Death is not the end of life, death is another way of living, a different way.

Death is not the problem, the problem is the way to death, it is always painfull.

We should be focused in accomplish our goals when we are a life, to leave everything organized all the time.

When we are gone we are gone, period, that is why I was discussing about cremation, it is the best wat to return to the earth I think and let every body else keep going with their life.

We are pieces of something bigger and as a piece of something the better we work and live the better the something bigger gets.

If you didn't feel paing about that dog it is because you both lived in peace, you didn't depend on him and he didn't depend on you, you just share with each other because of each other.

bennetsaysargh
May 29, 2003, 08:10 PM
you have my regards, sympathies, and best wishes P-Worm.

good luck.

SumDumGuy
May 29, 2003, 08:12 PM
It's so ironic that I should happen upon this thread. Not three hours ago my wife backed her car over our cat, Igor, that we've had for 9.5 years.

As he lay there dying in my driveway, I tried to sooth him and make his last few minutes better. But after a few minutes it was obvious that if someone didn't do something he would suffer for too long. So I went inside, got the smallest caliber rifle I have and put him out of his misery. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

I live in a fairly rural community and my parents have a substantial amount of land. We have a small area where we have buried all our lost pets over the years...cats, dogs, hamsters, even a Shetland pony. But now, even after I've buried the best pet I've ever had, I still haven't cried.

Instead, my wife and I have found ourselves laughing about the funny things he used to do...how he would wake me in the morning my biting my nose...how his ears where 50 times to big for his body when he was a kitten, how he would chase my mouse pointer all over my computer screen.

I'm gonna remember him for all the good times we had. RIP Igor.

wdlove
May 29, 2003, 08:37 PM
Originally posted by SumDumGuy
It's so ironic that I should happen upon this thread. Not three hours ago my wife backed her car over our cat, Igor, that we've had for 9.5 years.

As he lay there dying in my driveway, I tried to sooth him and make his last few minutes better. But after a few minutes it was obvious that if someone didn't do something he would suffer for too long. So I went inside, got the smallest caliber rifle I have and put him out of his misery. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

I live in a fairly rural community and my parents have a substantial amount of land. We have a small area where we have buried all our lost pets over the years...cats, dogs, hamsters, even a Shetland pony. But now, even after I've buried the best pet I've ever had, I still haven't cried.

Instead, my wife and I have found ourselves laughing about the funny things he used to do...how he would wake me in the morning my biting my nose...how his ears where 50 times to big for his body when he was a kitten, how he would chase my mouse pointer all over my computer screen.

I'm gonna remember him for all the good times we had. RIP Igor.

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. Don't think I would be as brave as you. It would probably have to be my wife using the gun.

Everyone grieves in a different way! I think that is a great way to grieve for your cat, to remember all the happy times. Good Luck! ;)

Kwyjibo
May 29, 2003, 09:03 PM
my parents got my dog a year before I was born and he lived until he was thirteen. I loved him and it was sad to see him go but it was his time and eventually you will realize that too. We got a new dog and its really fun to experience a new puppy (lab mix 1yr when we adopter her, still as energetic at 5). I remember lots of fun times with the dog and i'll never forget him...even after we had him put down whenever i would accidentaly swear infront of my mom i would yell "dealing with harpo's death" and we all got a good chuckle.

medea
May 30, 2003, 12:24 PM
sorry to hear about that, but at least you are handleing it well.

jxyama
May 30, 2003, 12:59 PM
sorry about your loss... i have a dog back at my 'rents. i don't get to see her too much, esp. now that i'm working. and i think about her once in a while, it's a given she'll go before i will and kinda makes me sad. but i enjoy her whenever i get the chance.

as for getting a new dog, you should wait. and definitely not try to "replace" the old dog. the new dog deserves its own affection and experience. to try to replace the old dog is not doing anyone any favor, including the new and the old dog.

good luck...

P-Worm
May 30, 2003, 03:30 PM
Well, it looks like were are planning on getting a new dog. It's a completely different breed and such so I think that it will be ok. That and puppies are so fun! I feel bad about the dog that died, but death happens and we need to move on. I feel a little like Claudius from Hamlet...

P-Worm