Amusing thread titles

[themoonisdown09]

My new iMac really wasn't.. very disappointed (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6591198)

What does that mean? Your new iMac really wasn't what?

[IJ Reilly]

What does that mean? Your new iMac really wasn't what?

It's an existential question.

[mkrishnan]

On the hot theme....

What is the hottest has gotten and what were you doing? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=598615)

Well, there was this one time when I met this girl who was a friend of a friend, you know, and I was like, I ain't lookin for a wifey, but you know, she sucked on this lemon after we did a shot of tequila together and.... Oh, sorry. :o

[MacDawg]

On the hot theme....

What is the hottest has gotten and what were you doing? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=598615)

Well, there was this one time when I met this girl who was a friend of a friend, you know, and I was like, I ain't lookin for a wifey, but you know, she sucked on this lemon after we did a shot of tequila together and.... Oh, sorry. :o

That happened to you too??
Man, I thought I was the only one

I thought the same when I saw the thread

Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif

[themoonisdown09]

On the hot theme....

What is the hottest has gotten and what were you doing? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=598615)

Well, there was this one time when I met this girl who was a friend of a friend, you know, and I was like, I ain't lookin for a wifey, but you know, she sucked on this lemon after we did a shot of tequila together and.... Oh, sorry. :o

I was just getting ready to post this one.

First of all, I think there is a word or two missing in the title. Second, all I can say was that I was in the back seat of a car...

[zephead]

HELP! keyboard does not work! (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=598662)

I think that one speaks for itself. :D

[themoonisdown09]

Whats up with my page in/out?? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6600968#post6600968)

"No time for the old in-out, love, I've just come to read the meter."

I just finished watching Clockwork Orange.

[Schtumple]

What anus guy.

It could be worse. It could leave you feeling pooped.

This entire discussion is leaving me feeling just a little drained.

It would seem, rather than any lack of bandwidth, the issue is that one particular customer is drinking it all up (http://forums.macrumors.com/showpost.php?p=6584420&postcount=2).

Will you be posting a streaming video? Interest in this topic seems to have been reduced to a trickle.

Sorry I didn't respond to this right away. When you gotta go, you gotta go. And while I'm at it, I might as well finish showering.

What's the bladder?

Don't get pissy with me.

Urine trouble now!

Wow, just wow...

[mkrishnan]

I just noticed the weirdest noise ever, i dare you to see if it will drive you mad... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=599596)

I'll do it if you'll pull my finger.

[ergdegdeg]

Do you wear a Blue Tooth in your ear? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=600249)

No, just a yellow toe.

[themoonisdown09]

MBP shuts down when battery is empty (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6607049)

Why would a notebook shutdown when it has no battery left? I have no idea.

[Raid]

Do you wear a Blue Tooth in your ear? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=600249)

No, just a yellow toe. Damn, you beat me to it. I was going to say something about a pink tounge (instead of your yellow toe) ... But it's along the same lines. ;)

[IJ Reilly]

how many of you have light leaks? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=599734)

Sorry, but that's between me and my doctor.

[themoonisdown09]

how many of you have light leaks? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=599734)

Sorry, but that's between me and my doctor.

I just had a leak a minute ago at my desk.

[IJ Reilly]

Obviously, a spin-off from the "pee in the shower" thread.

[themoonisdown09]

Obviously, a spin-off from the "pee in the shower" thread.

Sometimes I wonder if people make thread titles like that for the purpose of amusement, or because they are oblivious to the innuendos they create.

[IJ Reilly]

Sometimes I wonder if people make thread titles like that for the purpose of amusement, or because they are oblivious to the innuendos they create.

I don't really know, but if pressed I'd go for obliviousness. Innuendo and out the other, as they say.

[MacDawg]

Hot to empty trash (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=601076)

Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif

[themoonisdown09]

SO I took my MBP through a carwash... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6619580)

Why didn't you take it through the Macbook Pro wash instead?

[themoonisdown09]

Finally upgrading to Leopard and I think I might throw up... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6620724)

For some reason this title just made me laugh.

[IJ Reilly]

Made me feel a little sick.

[robbieduncan]

BBC News: Jackson 'too sick' for court case (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7735729.stm). I think we've all suspected he was two-sick for some time...

[Tilpots]

I have a Screw loose (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6631571#post6631571)

http://roicopy.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/bugs-bunny2.jpg


Judging by this "Amusing" thread, I think we ALL have a screw loose.:D

[themoonisdown09]

Life of a iMac (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6631797)

I think this thread is about a proposal of a new reality TV show.

[themoonisdown09]

how long (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6643954)

Oh, I'd say about 8 inches.

[klymr]

how long (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6643954)

Oh, I'd say about 8 inches.

I was thinking more like 9 months. :p

[Schtumple]

Alert sounds keep turning off! HELP! (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6656797#post6656797)

Because you obviously want them to never stop going off.

[c-Row]

Don't they look sexy with their lids closed?

Laptop turning on when closed (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=607832)

[mkrishnan]

You Can Never Have Two Many LCDs (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=607271&highlight=two+many+lcds)

You apparently, however, can have three many. Or maybe you cannot. I actually am not sure now. :mad:

[mkrishnan]

Oooh, and also....

Can Cigarette Smoke Harm My iMac? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=608090)

If giving emphysema to your grandson isn't enough motivation, my God, woman, think of the Macs! :D

[themoonisdown09]

Help - Cannot delete Norton even though I did? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6694295)

Wait... I'm confused. I thought you said you deleted it. And why are you questioning this?

[xUKHCx]

Help - Cannot delete Norton even though I did? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6694295)

Wait... I'm confused. I thought you said you deleted it. And why are you questioning this?

I missed that thread in the forum however when seeing you post it in here I went off and helped as I happen to know the answer :)

[IJ Reilly]

Maybe this is what he really meant.

http://www.loti.com/articles/Jackie_Gleason_html_mfe5340.jpg

[IJ Reilly]

iweb....boring....need something similar (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=609438)

If you simply can't get enough boredom, have you tried watching paint dry?

[rdowns]

iweb....boring....need something similar (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=609438)

If you simply can't get enough boredom, have you tried watching paint dry?

Been there, done that. :D

http://www.watching-paint-dry.com/

[themoonisdown09]

Been there, done that. :D

http://www.watching-paint-dry.com/

That's funny. I also like the one about watching grass grow.

[IJ Reilly]

Dog chewed corners of iPhone how to fix? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=610954)

I wouldn't try this myself. I'd recommend a veterinarian.

[SlasherDuff]

This thread is awesome!! Although the nipple (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=289505) thread had me in tears and in stiches:D

[descartes]

Dog chewed corners of iPhone how to fix? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=610954)

I wouldn't try this myself. I'd recommend a veterinarian.

nice :)

[deorg]

Oooh, and also....

Can Cigarette Smoke Harm My iMac? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=608090)

If giving emphysema to your grandson isn't enough motivation, my God, woman, think of the Macs! :D

thats so true, my grandmother smokes like a steam train, and uses the mac, next to the grandsons. LOL

Actualy Ive read somewhere that I can cause heat to the power supply, the exess of smoke.

[dejo]

Actualy Ive read somewhere that I can cause heat to the power supply, the exess of smoke.
You can, can you? ;)

[themoonisdown09]

What does he use now? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6715911)

Trojan. The cheaper brand from the gas station didn't work too well.

[themoonisdown09]

Do You Have Some Crack? =/ (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6729303)

Not on me... no.

[ergdegdeg]

I have a dead pixel... Bought from Amazon.com (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=613922)

I usually only buy books from them..

[Tilpots]

I have a dead pixel... Bought from Amazon.com (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=613922)

I hope they gave you free shipping!

[IJ Reilly]

It was probably alive when they shipped it.

[bobfitz14]

I'm always trying to refrain from a smarta** answer from some titles that I read. :D

i.e.

Is it just me...?

yes, it is.


How to make macbook run faster

run her through more sprint drills


Backwards, why are email addresses

invented that way they were


Now that you've started this, I'll be adding to it quite often.

hahah i see i'm not the only one who thinks of wise ass answers to vague thread titles.

[Tilpots]

It was probably alive when they shipped it.

Yeah, it never stood a chance against the USPS. Poor pixel.

[themoonisdown09]

Need Help with this... Always Comes out when.. (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6738264)

... it always comes out when I take laxatives.

[themoonisdown09]

should i apply thermal paste (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6740758)

I would recommend Preparation H instead.

[Lau]

Help with hiding windows (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=614629)

May I respectfully suggest the use of curtains?

[tobefirst]

Dad is a mac user and I want to buy him.. (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=615666)

I am also a Mac user. Should I be worried about being bought? Yikes!

[IJ Reilly]

Everybody's got their price.

[rdowns]

What would you do in this position? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=615817)


:eek::eek::eek:

[redwarrior]

What would you do in this position? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=615817)


:eek::eek::eek:
Always something positive.:rolleyes::p

[gadgetdad]

My favorite so far

Snatch useless on Tiger (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=615317)

[IJ Reilly]

We don't want to know how he found out.

[redwarrior]

My favorite so far

Snatch useless on Tiger (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=615317)

We don't want to know how he found out.
Are you kidding me? I want pictures.

[JTTech]

Help with hiding windows (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=614629)

May I respectfully suggest the use of curtains?

:p subtle, but smart!

[tobefirst]

Has apple officially neglected the "Professionals"? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=616929)

I don't think so...unless I missed that press release or interview.

Reporter: Tell me about your offerings for the professional market.
Steve Jobs: Well, as CEO of this company, let me just take this opportunity to announce that we are officially neglecting the professionals.


"Officially neglected?" What?

[IJ Reilly]

What to do to help me run faster? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=619081)

Being chased by an angry bear does it for me.

[themoonisdown09]

How much vibration do you feel (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6800579)

It depends on what speed setting you have it at.

[MacDawg]

Q: How long you usually put it on? ( http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=622217)

Until I am finished... otherwise, what's the point?

Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif

[fireshot91]

What to do to help me run faster? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=619081)

Being chased by an angry bear does it for me.

Thanks

[IJ Reilly]

Can't Hear Anything - Please help! (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=622158)

What?

[IJ Reilly]

1 Year Old Today! (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=622556)

And he's already typing!

[TwinCities Dan]

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6817226#post6817226

[Tilpots]

1 Year Old Today! (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=622556)

And he's already typing!

Showoff!

[Fuzzy14]

i can't use any massenger in Leopard (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=622352)

No, but they sometimes like a back rub.

[Fuzzy14]

iMac heat generation
(http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6829703#post6829703)

The over 60s or the under 20s?

[IJ Reilly]

My iPhone turns itself on in the night... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=546925)

The secret life of iPhones. Who knew?

[Luftwaffles]

Take system back in time
1.21 gigawatts?!

http://metsxtra.mlblogs.com/dr.jpg

[iBlue]

^

http://att.macrumors.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=150589&d=1230644549


I liked this one:

"It's a question of size (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=624261)" - Isn't it always?

[calculus]

please recommend a speaker, around $600 (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6874152#post6874152)


Strictly Z List I'd say...

[Schtumple]

What is your preferred method of sleep (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6874672#post6874672)

in bed?

[themoonisdown09]

What is your preferred method of sleep (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6874672#post6874672)

in bed?

Mine is also in the bed, unless my wife kicks me out... then it's the couch.

Would Apple sort my mbp out for these probs? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6874719)

Hmm... I don't know where to start.

[MacDawg]

Special Characters (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6874744#post6874744)

Uh... that would be Teh Demis™... right? :rolleyes:

Should I buy used MBP with "bulge"? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6874734#post6874734)

Sure... it is just happy to see you... ;)

Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif

[IJ Reilly]

Mine is also in the bed, unless my wife kicks me out... then it's the couch.

I usually start out on my side but end up on my stomach.

[Tilpots]

I feel "speculation-jipped" (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=630150)

Out of all the complaining threads here recently (of which I admit I have participated) this is the funniest title.

[mkrishnan]

I feel "speculation-jipped" (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=630150)

Out of all the complaining threads here recently (of which I admit I have participated) this is the funniest title.

We're not going to have to do the "gypped" debate (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=621943&highlight=gypped) again, are we? :rolleyes:

[Much Ado]

My vibrator is broken. (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6899195#post6899195)

Beter than being stuck, I suppose.

[themoonisdown09]

My vibrator is broken. (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6899195#post6899195)

Beter than being stuck, I suppose.

Go buy a newer and bigger one.

[IJ Reilly]

My MBA slows down over nothing. (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=630680)

Then put it over something!

(I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said, "stop going to those places!")

[Lau]

Did a mod to get really great battery life........ (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=631625)

I didn't know our esteemed mods had that kind of influence.

[Blue Velvet]

I didn't know our esteemed mods had that kind of influence.

Great minds think alike. I was going to post something stoopid in there but nothing met the witty threshold, not that it's stopped me before.

[mkrishnan]

I didn't know our esteemed mods had that kind of influence.

In the words of 50 Cent, I got the magic stick -- I can go for hours. ;)

[BoyBach]

A headline on the BBC website: Church gives birth to a baby boy (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7783964.stm)

How is that even possible? :eek:

[Much Ado]

A headline on the BBC website: Church gives birth to a baby boy (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7783964.stm)

How is that even possible? :eek:

Cue jokes about taking it up the aisle.

[IJ Reilly]

A headline on the BBC website: Church gives birth to a baby boy (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7783964.stm)

How is that even possible? :eek:

Immaculate conception.

[Much Ado]

Immaculate conception.

Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn...

[IJ Reilly]

Or less than immaculate contraception.

[Much Ado]

Or less than immaculate contraception.

Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn....

[mkrishnan]

If parthenogenesis is possible, I don't see why not. Wait. Parthenogenesis means the Parthenon gave birth to a baby, right?

[themoonisdown09]

Where is all of my memory? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6927124)

[IJ Reilly]

Where is all of my memory? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6927124)

Reminds me of Bob Hope's old theme song, "Thanks for the Mammaries."

[Lau]

When is a Windsor Knot Appropriate? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=633723)

On a video diary in Iraq?

[Macaddicttt]

Immaculate conception.

Or less than immaculate contraception.

I don't get it. "Immaculate" means clean, so... :confused:

[skunk]

When is a Windsor Knot Appropriate? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=633723)

On a video diary in Iraq?Very good! :D

[BoyBach]

When is a Windsor Knot Appropriate? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=633723)

On a video diary in Iraq?


Superb! :D

[IJ Reilly]

Superb! :D

I had to let that one seep in for a while. Now I'm all damp.

[robbieduncan]

Stuck Between Earphones (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6932068#post6932068)

As are most people when they use them...

[IJ Reilly]

Have i killed my baby? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=635119)

Not sure if this belongs here. Maybe we need a new thread -- "Terrifying thread titles."

[dejo]

Discuss Bags and Mice (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=634977)

I s'pose bags are a good way to carry your mice around...

[mkrishnan]

Have i killed my baby? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=635119)

Not sure if this belongs here. Maybe we need a new thread -- "Terrifying thread titles."

That would be even more amusing if it had been one of those "NEED URGENT REPLY!!111" threads. :D

[atszyman]

Macbook Pro Choice Dilemma (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6977973#post6977973)

I didn't know that Macbooks were pro-choice... Which Macs are pro-life?

[Watabou]

Macbook Pro Choice Dilemma (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6977973#post6977973)

Which Macs are pro-life?

Those new environmental ones! :D

[IJ Reilly]

Macbook Pro Choice Dilemma (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=6977973#post6977973)

I didn't know that Macbooks were pro-choice... Which Macs are pro-life?

See also:

Have i killed my baby? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=635119)

[atszyman]

Fun things to do with a Mac Pro (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=638256)...

I've always liked long walks on the beach, dinner and a movie, rock climbing and ice skating or skiing are always a good time too...:D

[IJ Reilly]

Yeah, but you're a cheap date. :)

[atszyman]

Yeah, but you're a cheap date. :)

I'd have to be after buying a Mac Pro...

Damn thing never offers to chip in...

But it's soooo pretty!

[dejo]

How do you Fork? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=410587)

[themoonisdown09]

How do you Fork? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=410587)

Missionary...

[mkrishnan]

Missionary...

And then after, I spoon.

Oh, and...

Need to Make Iphone 3G, Vibration longer.
(http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=639633)

Because, sometimes, I erm can't come to the phone quickly enough. ;)

[fireshot91]

And then after, I spoon.

Oh, and...

Need to Make Iphone 3G, Vibration longer.
(http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=639633)

Because, sometimes, I erm can't come to the phone quickly enough. ;)

Lol, took me a while to get the "Come" joke.

[chilipie]

Is stimulation really best? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7000732)

[Raid]

Is stimulation really best? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7000732)

BOO! Beat me to it! ;)

[themoonisdown09]

Rubbing alcohol? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=639783)

No, not today. I'd prefer a beer instead.

[arkitect]

A way to avoid sleep when the lid closes? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7018603#post7018603)

I thought vampires were meant to get some sleep when the coffin lid closes?

[IJ Reilly]

Are You Excited For the New iPhone? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=642988)

Yes, I hope they have a very nice life together.

[SlasherDuff]

MacBook won't Wake from Sleep (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=645555)

Might I suggest caffeine?

[themoonisdown09]

MacBook won't Wake from Sleep (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=645555)

Might I suggest caffeine?

Maybe it's not asleep... maybe it's dead.

[calculus]

When will Apple update the AIR ? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7060531#post7060531)

Next Tuesday.

Breathing will seem snappier...

[arkitect]

ipod touch backside, easily hurt or not? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7064125#post7064125)

I don't know…*you tell us if it did…

*chortle*

[IJ Reilly]

When will the touch get bigger? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=647761)

This is kind of like a caption contest. I am not going to go first.

[mkrishnan]

This is kind of like a caption contest. I am not going to go first.

I am personally not in favor of going in the direction of bigger. I would like to see it get harder and faster instead. :eek: ;)

[rdowns]

Noticing more Beach Balls, how do I minimize them? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=647812)

Stop looking at the men wearing Speedos.

[SlasherDuff]

Noticing more Beach Balls, how do I minimize them? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=647812)

Stop looking at the men wearing Speedos.
So deflating them would be out of the question? :D

[mogzieee]

I think iSaint's thread Dear people of the MR community, I invite you to view my buttock (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=288479) deserves a mention.

I remember seeing this post a while back, lol.

[themoonisdown09]

Where do you put it? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7079292)

I'm not going to bother writing a caption for this one.

[Raid]

Where do you put it? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7079292)

I'm not going to bother writing a caption for this one. Oh man I laughed so hard had people coming to my door wondering what the hell was going on. :D

Along the same lines as above I saw this:
post your girl friend (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7079484#post7079484)
hmm post, nail whatever.

[aethelbert]

Omg Omg Omg (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=649090)

[Melrose]

Omg Omg Omg (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=649090)

Yeh that's what she said to me too... :D

[IJ Reilly]

That makes it final. We need a new thread, "Very Annoying Thread Titles."

[themoonisdown09]

am I seeing things (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7085832)

I don't know, you tell me.

$200,000 Per Job? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7085829)

Now listen, what kind of forum do you think this is?

[themoonisdown09]

how do i keep my mac sweet?... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7090519)

Be nice to it and always listen to what it has to say.

[atszyman]

how do i keep my mac sweet?... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7090519)

Be nice to it and always listen to what it has to say.

I would have figured by spilling soda on the keyboard...:D

Edit: (I'll avoid the double post)

Broken Home Button (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7091929#post7091929)

Does it cause broken homes? The family values crowd must hate this button.
Does it come from a broken home?

[Raid]

Broken Home Button (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7091929#post7091929)

... So when you push it, your parents get divorced? Harsh! :D

[IJ Reilly]

Broken Home Button (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7091929#post7091929)

... So when you push it, your parents get divorced? Harsh! :D

That explains a lot.

"If you don't stop playing with that iPod, I'm leaving you!"

[atszyman]

Broken Home Button (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7091929#post7091929)

... So when you push it, your parents get divorced? Harsh! :D

Maybe this is the 21st century answer to "Step on a crack break your <insert acquaintance's> back!"?

"Push a button on you're cell, send your family straight to..."?

[c-Row]

"Push a button on you're cell, send your family straight to..."?

Dell? :eek:

[atszyman]

Time Capsule Very Slow (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7092354#post7092354)

Isn't that the point of a Time Capsule? I mean, why bother burying the thing if you're only going to dig it up in 15 minutes?

[SlasherDuff]

Time Capsule Very Slow (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7092354#post7092354)

Isn't that the point of a Time Capsule? I mean, why bother burying the thing if you're only going to dig it up in 15 minutes?

Maybe they confused it with the workings of a time machine.

[mkrishnan]

Speech doesnt work for me (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=652172). Fortunately, I am extremely good at throwing up gangsta' hand signals. ;)

[benflick]

New Apple in ear (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=651984)
May I recommend a great Ear, nose and throat docter of mine?

[Melrose]

New Apple in ear (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=651984)

I thought that was an old Copperfield slight of hand trick? I may be mistaken...

[IJ Reilly]

Oh God Help (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=652628)

Please state your problem in the form of a prayer.

[SlasherDuff]

Oh God Help (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=652628)

Please state your problem in the form of a prayer.

Amen :)

[atszyman]

Oh God Help (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=652628)

Please state your problem in the form of a prayer.

Well the site admins to have the title of macrumors god so why not ask them for help?

[anti-microsoft]

A little off topic but...


From all we know it could be from a condom's website...:
158129
...But it's from Apple's website.

Ams.

[Tilpots]

Spanking new Mac user here.. (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=652618)

Have they been naughty?

[atszyman]

Spanking new Mac user here.. (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=652618)

Have they been naughty?

Well it's even worse when you see it this way in Forum spy...

If you'd quit spanking maybe you wouldn't need to clean the keyboard.

[Fuzzy14]

Measurebating (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=651409)

Is that when you measure a distance all by yourself?

[Raid]

Tell me how you Shake it Out (Quiz for Promo code) (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7127497#post7127497)

I was told that more than two shakes means you're playing with it.

[SlasherDuff]

What do I gotta do? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=654112)

Get on your knees and beg :p

[benflick]

Head injury (how do know when you need to see a doctor?) (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=654236)
When you post a thread on an internet forum.

[dejo]

Is there anything worng with this? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=657454)

I think no comment is necessary.

[Schtumple]

Axe killing my skin? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7173651#post7173651)

You're supposed to chop trees with them, I don't know what you're doing, but you're doing it wrong...

[yojitani]

Axe killing my skin? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7173651#post7173651)

You're supposed to chop trees with them, I don't know what you're doing, but you're doing it wrong...

This one has been making me chuckle every time I check this forum.

[IJ Reilly]

Yup, that Axe is bad to the bone.

Cannot Connect to Internet (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=658255)

Question posted psychokineticly.

[mkrishnan]

Getting strange calls (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=658127)

I got a friend with a phone in the basement... :)

[Tilpots]

Did I just screw myself in Final Cut? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=658873)

I hope not. That's some sick ****. I guess anything's "do-able" with special effects?!?

[anti-microsoft]

Is there anything worng with this? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=657454)

I think no comment is necessary.

Made me laugh!

Ams.

[Cassie]

Did I just screw myself in Final Cut? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=658873)

I hope not. That's some sick ****. I guess anything's "do-able" with special effects?!?

I suppose you can be your own sexual predator these days.

[IJ Reilly]

Why is my adapter going to Kentucky? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=662546)

It's eloping with your hard disk drive.

[SlasherDuff]

Who Goes Out Naked? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7234552#post7234552)

I can't even think of a reply for this one

[millerj123]

Who Goes Out Naked? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7234552#post7234552)

I can't even think of a reply for this one

I suppose a Yay or Nay could be in order. I'm a Nay since I don't want to be arrested. And darn you for posting this before I got around to it.

[OttawaGuy]

Do your clothes smell after washing them? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=409130)
No, they just lay there.

[SlasherDuff]

Do your clothes smell after washing them? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=409130)
No, they just lay there.

My clothes smell like laundry detergent :)

I suppose a Yay or Nay could be in order. I'm a Nay since I don't want to be arrested. And darn you for posting this before I got around to it.

:D

[Lau]

Who is calling init? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=664325)

Look at the display, innit.

[benflick]

Not sure if this has been posted already:


Do your clothes smell after washing them? (http://forums.macrumors.com/sh
owthread.php?t=409130)
In my case, they usually smell like detergent:rolleyes:

[ergdegdeg]

Umm, scroll up a few pixels ;)

[benflick]

Umm, scroll up a few pixels ;)

Oh, whoops:o
Haha, I should have looked, shouldn't I?

[Ivan P]

How can I get my USB drives to mount? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=665369)

Show them a raunchy film.

[c-Row]

Installed a new hard drive - can't find Airport (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=658016)

Google Maps might be able to help you.

[millerj123]

dent in my macbook batter

Weird cooking if you ask me...

[TwinCities Dan]

Just sold my air... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7282925#post7282925)

Now I am having trouble breathing... :eek:

[SlasherDuff]

Went to buy soda (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=667488)

would you like a medal?

[IJ Reilly]

what is your shortest period of time between (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=670569)

I just love fill-in-the-blank game, don't you?

[SlasherDuff]

what is your shortest period of time between (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=670569)

I just love fill-in-the-blank game, don't you?

That made me spit on my monitor
:D:D:D

[dejo]

I Really Need Help On This Mac Pro Choice!!! (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=670303)

Here we go with the abortion debate again...

[benflick]

I get confused.... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=671034)
Don't we all...:rolleyes:

[SlasherDuff]

Cursor jumps for no reason (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=403924)

Have you tried tranquilizers, or a long length of rope? It worked for me :D Training it might help too

[Cassie]

USB Port Over Powered? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7312576#post7312576)

Yeah, FireWire can be a bit of a bully. But can you blame him for being so strong?

[themoonisdown09]

I've Recieved an MMS. (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=670987)

Um... okay. Am I supposed to be excited.

[mkrishnan]

Laptop screen not working after being shut down (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=670450&highlight=pismo)

I likewise find my car moves very slowly when it is not running. :)

[ashley11]

Laptop screen not working after being shut down (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=670450&highlight=pismo)

I likewise find my car moves very slowly when it is not running. :)

lmao..roflhttp://sharepix4all.info/images/udas89hdusajd0sa/smile.jpg

[jonbravo77]

Just sold my air... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7282925#post7282925)

Now I am having trouble breathing... :eek:

That's funny...

[Raid]

A little scratch protection for the "naked" people (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7316482#post7316482)
What's that, really soft mittens?

[benflick]

Need Help Understanding. (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=671875)
Don't we all...:rolleyes:

[SlasherDuff]

A little scratch protection for the "naked" people (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7316482#post7316482)
What's that, really soft mittens?

LOL! That was a good one

[MacDawg]

Getting Very Hot (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=672284)

Might want to consider a cold shower :o

Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif

[IJ Reilly]

Anyone Live In Japan? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=672261)

Quite a few, I am led to believe. They are mostly called "Japanese people."

[Berlepsch]

Post Your Cologne (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=672355)

Sure!
http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/9407/koeln.jpg

[jonbravo77]

Is it my power supply? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7321878#post7321878)
Don't know, does it have your name on it? That's how I tell if stuff is mine...

[BoyBach]

Anyone Live In Japan? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=672261)

Erm, the Japanese?







EDIT: Bugger! :o

[xUKHCx]

Anyone Live In Japan? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=672261)

Erm, the Japanese?

3 posts up ;)

Anyone Live In Japan? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=672261)

Quite a few, I am led to believe. They are mostly called "Japanese people."

[xUKHCx]

Waiting for Sandy Bridge.

I guess someone was stood up on their hot date

[adameels]

Post Your Cologne (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=672355)

Sure!
http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/9407/koeln.jpg

Cologne is amazing, I wanna go back there again.


Re: Airport set up (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7323948)

You'll need lots of money first and govenment support aswell as a long flat strip of land. Doesn't matter if a housing estate has to be demolished or woken up at 3am.

[SlasherDuff]

Protect my Mac Pro (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=672883)

From you? sure! :)

[yojitani]

Who is calling init? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=664325)

Look at the display, innit.

I couldn't stop laughing at this one..

[IJ Reilly]

Can't add words to Microsoft Word (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=202851)

Think of it as the world's most expensive screen saver.

[IJ Reilly]

My iMac is making a Dull Rumble (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=673310)

Funny, mine makes a very interesting rumble, but a really boring squeak.

[arkitect]

Exorcist: Looking for Beta Testers (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7337878#post7337878)

"Paging Father Merrin… White courtesy telephone, please…"

[spork183]

Obama may still hold terror prisoners without charge (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=667408&highlight=how+to+post+a+forum+link)

Henceforth, room and board will be free. You must still pay if using the CIA commissary...

[jonbravo77]

Macbook keeps waking up! :( (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7348029#post7348029)

I suggest some warm milk and a sweet lullaby.

[TwinCities Dan]

Alright, its 4 am where I'm at, and I need to go to bed, but this one just made me spit beer all over the place!

Trojans on my MBP - what do I do? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7366722#post7366722)

"Well, if you don't know..." :eek: :D

[yojitani]

Alright, its 4 am where I'm at, and I need to go to bed, but this one just made me spit beer all over the place!

Trojans on my MBP - what do I do? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7366722#post7366722)

"Well, if you don't know..." :eek: :D

Give them a beautifully carved horse?

[Doctor Q]

Modifying a file's owner

My wife owns a lot of files, but I like her the way she is!

[themoonisdown09]

Bizarre mounting problem (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7440618)

I'm not even going to go there...

[IJ Reilly]

Too late. :eek:

[themoonisdown09]

So how do I get Thumbnails? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7441908)

[themoonisdown09]

USB ports don't work. Or do they? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7442076)

Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun!

What to do with fried C2D iMac (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7442085)

You eat it!

[SlasherDuff]

"There's an App for that" (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7456040#post7456040)

:eek: There is???

[mkrishnan]

If I buy a mac now, will it be obsolete later? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=685425)

No, never. Ever. Really. And don't downplay it. That workaround for when the sun burns out was a tricky piece of engineering.

[IJ Reilly]

If I buy a mac now, will it be obsolete later? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=685425)

No, but you will.

[IJ Reilly]

What is chewing up my processor? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=686185)

It's usually the gerbils in the power supply escaping.

[chrmjenkins]

The lid of the toilet (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=686169)

[Mintin8]

The lid of the toilet (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=686169)

Wow, I was away to post that :D

[SlasherDuff]

How do you reset your mail? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7462976#post7462976)

Change of address forms from the post office.

Is this for real???? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7462931#post7462931)

Don't believe everything you read

Anyone else dream about MacBooks? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7462937#post7462937)

Not those kinds of dreams

[MacNut]

Want to get into Vinyl soon (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=686910)

Make sure you get a size that fits.

[jonbravo77]

Want to get into Vinyl soon (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=686910)

Make sure you get a size that fits.

Invest in a lot of baby powder :eek:

[ergdegdeg]

Oracle to buy Sun for ~10 billion
(http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7491496#post7491496)

:-O When will we have to pay for sunlight??

[Tilpots]

Oracle to buy Sun for ~10 billion
(http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7491496#post7491496)

:O When will we have to pay for sunlight??

Even God is feeling this recession! Let's hope he doesn't get a bailout from Satan. I hear Satan's terms sound really good in the short term, but will cost you more in the long run.

[mkrishnan]

Got wet, phone on, got hot, dark dark screen (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=686843)

Erm, okay, I shouldn't actually make the comment about how two of these things usually happen in the opposite order, but... oh well. :o

[mkrishnan]

Need a Hip case (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=689853)

Every cool cat does, my brother. ;)

[fireshot91]

Well guys- I've gone and done it..


:eek::eek: NOOO!!!

[ergdegdeg]

Help! banana in the split (disk slot) (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7522881#post7522881)

Do I really have to comment that :D

[ikermalli]

Is there a place in US that can hold my package? (on another forum, so I won't link it)

Yes, go to a street corner at night ;)

[aethelbert]

free ram (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=692801)

Free stuff? Where?

[dmmcintyre3]

free ram (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=692801)

Free stuff? Where?

Too bad my computer already has as much as it will take.

Although I could sell it!

[SlasherDuff]

free ram (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=692801)

Free stuff? Where?

I would love to get my hands on some free sheep...wait wrong ram huh?

Is it down? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7546254#post7546254)

No it's....oh my:eek:

EDIT:to avoid double posting I found another one

Just got my Air (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7546822#post7546822)

Now you can breathe better

[benflick]

how do I..... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7546795#post7546795)
Dream without you?

[drewsof07]

Any Sign of Recession Weakening in Your Area? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=691658&highlight=suck)

Nope, my "area" is stronger than ever :D

I got scammed big time, (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=691806&highlight=suck)

I paid for 6 hours, she left after 15 minutes!

My iMac Has Arrived With The Ati Card *Correction, i got screwed* (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=682485&highlight=suck)

Personally I would prefer the iMac, it typically lasts longer :p

[SlasherDuff]

Any Sign of Recession Weakening in Your Area? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=691658&highlight=suck)

Nope, my "area" is stronger than ever :D



Must be the Viagra :D:p

[Berlepsch]

I can't pee around other people (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7562194)

Just keep on practising.
Hint: it's much easier when they lie on the ground.

[dejo]

Why does my memory keep disappearing?! (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=698849)

I would tell you but I can't remember why...

[unid]

Dropped my Air - Where do I get it fixed?? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7603447#post7603447) buscopan is often recommended

[themoonisdown09]

IPhone Crack (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7632290)

It's today's newest drug.

[dmmcintyre3]

IPhone Crack (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7632290)

It's today's newest drug.

Just don't smoke it in public

[barr08]

how do I..... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7546795#post7546795)
Dream without you?

+1. A summer hit!

[themoonisdown09]

OK, I need some professional help? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7643962)

[r.j.s]

Here's an interesting line up on the Spy ...

[sammich]

Here's an interesting line up on the Spy ...

I was afraid you beat me to the punch, but I've got another one.

How many ways can you read down?

[themoonisdown09]

First time Mac buying college student... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7677444)

Talk about the cow milking the farmer, a Mac is buying a college student!

[dmmcintyre3]

First time Mac buying college student... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7677444)

Talk about the cow milking the farmer, a Mac is buying a college student!

Mine will not let me leave it alone for more than an hour. It even decides to wake me up when it thinks I am having a bad dream. It really did.

post your macrumors password!

Sure. It is *************** as shown in the password box when I enter it.

[benflick]

IPhone 2G Unable to Surf (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=709490)
iPhones don't like water. This is in the booklet that came with it.

[TuffLuffJimmy]

Just sold my air will switch to umb (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=710514)



ummm what? Hello? How's that working out for you? Hello??

[jb60606]

I've been avoiding this thread for a year - I didn't think it would be as funny as it is. I'm almost in tears.

[SlasherDuff]

Killed the Hard Disk? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7716165#post7716165)

Well, now that you confessed, you're better off turning yourself in

I've Grown Sick (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7716166#post7716166)

Remind me to stay away from you

Cursor Gone Wild! (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=7716247#post7716247)

Topless cursors? Where?:eek:

[TuffLuffJimmy]

Where do baby refurbs come from? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=710972)


Dad: "ask your mother."


EDIT:

Downloads "complete" too early (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=710555)

Just think of baseball, believe me it helps.