So my fiance has been dilegent in clearing the history and search history on MY mac lately. As far as I can tell, the cache has been emptied. (but I'm a novice at this stuff, I could be wrong.) Even my autocompletes don't seem to be working. However, he did not clear out the cookies and I've found some very disturbing sites in there. The settings are on accept cookies from sites that are navigated to. Is there an alternative way to see where he's been? Also, is there a way to find out the date of when these cookies have been dropped on my computer? Many thanks!
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Is there a way to figure out what Web sites have been viewed on my mac?
- Thread starter ranchy01
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why dont you just ask.
honesty seems good in a relationship, especially if you are getting hitched.
honesty seems good in a relationship, especially if you are getting hitched.
Well, I guess I just don't trust that he'll give me an honest answer. You might say there are bigger problems than some disturbing sites - and there are. I'm making a case for myself here.
Just a note.. Disturbing cookies may not be very indicative, because those cookies can be set from ads on other webpages. Especially game websites and websites with serial numbers and stuff can set all sorts of crazy cookies because of the advertising on them. I've seen some surprising stuff in my cookies, and asked myself, "Whoah, when did I visit THAT website???" 😉
But I suppose his diligent cache cleaning is as much of a concern as anything else. Whats he hiding?
This book might be helpful to you, it has a lot of good advice about making difficult conversations, and getting your point across without blaming or being unreasonable.
http://www.amazon.com/Difficult-Conversations-Discuss-what-Matters/dp/014028852X
peace,
sam
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hey folks,
ranchy...i feel for you.
now i don't know how to do this, but i'm sure someone does - is there a way for ranchy to create an automated task which copies the cookies into a 'hidden' folder? maybe that task could operate without the fiancee's knowledge?
would be ironically funny if the task/script would only activate a save upon the trash being emptied (without asking to save of course..it would just do it)
sorry you have to be sneaky.
cheers,
keebler
ranchy...i feel for you.
now i don't know how to do this, but i'm sure someone does - is there a way for ranchy to create an automated task which copies the cookies into a 'hidden' folder? maybe that task could operate without the fiancee's knowledge?
would be ironically funny if the task/script would only activate a save upon the trash being emptied (without asking to save of course..it would just do it)
sorry you have to be sneaky.
cheers,
keebler
benlee
macrumors 65816
Your finance obviously doesnt want you to see the sites he is going to but that does not give you the right to sneak around the whole ordeal. Especially copying cookies into a secret folder. What is more vindictive? I agree with the poster who said to ask him and have an honest conversation about the subject. Of course he will probably lie if you come across as accusative. Maybe tell him he doesnt have to hide them from you (he shouldnt have to) If you are going to be getting married this will only make your relationship stronger if you approach it with honesty. Feels weird giving relationship advice on a mac forum... Good luck..
ummmmm... do you really think that he's gonna tell her the truth, after covering up what's done?
who are we to say if the OP has the right or not to look into the matter further before a discussion? you suggest the OP not to be accusative, yet ironically you are accusing the OP of "sneaking around." mind you the computer is hers after all. little hypocritical, aren't we?
jsw
Moderator emeritus
I agree that you should ask him in a non-threatening manner, and begin it by telling him what you found. As others have said, the cookies don't necessarily mirror the websites visited. Also, your definition of "very disturbing" and his might differ enormously, and the site names in the cookies might be a bit misleading as to their actual content.
Maybe it's a really bad situation, or maybe he just went to some sites, realized he shouldn't have, and tried to clean up after himself to avoid embarrassment.
If you assume guilt, you'll end up making any situation worse. If he's actually guilty of something bad enough to end the engagement, I'm sure that'll come out in other ways, but, in any event, asking him after letting him know what you found is probably the best way to get a reasonably honest answer out of him. Few people are comfortable admitting to a fiance about looking at what I'm guessing he was looking at, so don't make it more difficult.
Or perhaps the sites were worse that I'm thinking. As others have said, the fact you're bothered and concerned he's lying and doing other things is, perhaps, a good sign that this isn't the time to get married.
Maybe it's a really bad situation, or maybe he just went to some sites, realized he shouldn't have, and tried to clean up after himself to avoid embarrassment.
If you assume guilt, you'll end up making any situation worse. If he's actually guilty of something bad enough to end the engagement, I'm sure that'll come out in other ways, but, in any event, asking him after letting him know what you found is probably the best way to get a reasonably honest answer out of him. Few people are comfortable admitting to a fiance about looking at what I'm guessing he was looking at, so don't make it more difficult.
Or perhaps the sites were worse that I'm thinking. As others have said, the fact you're bothered and concerned he's lying and doing other things is, perhaps, a good sign that this isn't the time to get married.
D0ct0rteeth
macrumors 65816
balamw
Moderator emeritus
I agree with what jsw said, but if you really want to know, buy this: http://www.spectorsoft.com/products/Spector_Macintosh/entry.asp?refer=4999
It is scary how much info it can collect and process for you. (At least the Windows version).
B
It is scary how much info it can collect and process for you. (At least the Windows version).
B
Deepdale
macrumors 68000
Scary is a true understatement in describing what that Spector software does!
"Spector automatically takes hundreds of snapshots every hour, very much like a surveillance camera. With Spector, you will be able to SEE EXACTLY what your spouse, kids and employees have been doing online and offline.
How Does It Work?
Spector works by taking a snapshot of whatever is on the computer screen and saves it away in a hidden location on your computer's hard drive. A few seconds later, Spector takes another picture.
You get recordings of all chat conversations, instant messages, e-mails typed and read, all web sites visited, all programs/applications run, all keystrokes typed - EVERYTHING they do on the computer and on the Internet. You can come back to the computer a few minutes, a few hours, a few days or weeks later and SEE EXACTLY what they were doing, because Spector has recorded it."
I appreciate everyone's advice. The wedding has been postponed, BTW, for different issues I hope we can resolve over time. I just found the cookies a shock... it seems out of character for him. To satisfy curiousity, the sites are teen porn, barely pubescent girls mostly. There's about a dozen different cookies. Perhaps the cookies were dropped by visiting some gaming site, as someone suggested above... but there IS a definite (and disturbing) theme... anyone willing to test if gamespot.com (another site I found in cookies) drops these kinds of cookies? I was hoping to find a date stamp on the cookies thinking maybe the sites were visited while we had a party or something. 🙁
jeremy.king
macrumors 603
Cookies are site specific, one site cannot set another site's cookie (or read it for that matter). They will have an originating domain associated with the cookie.
Sorry porn surfing is such an offending behavior for you, but its not that uncommon. Perhaps you should consider why he does it - maybe something is missing from the relationship on his end as well...
Sorry porn surfing is such an offending behavior for you, but its not that uncommon. Perhaps you should consider why he does it - maybe something is missing from the relationship on his end as well...
Diatribe
macrumors 601
Well, teen (below 18) porn is not only illegal but I'd consider it to be offending as well.
Either way, yes it is spying but it is her computer so she can to whatever she wants. I'd try the talking bit but that's just me. If you really suspect the person lying to you then there's something wrong in the relationship anyway.
Well i think that she has the right to do this. This isn't "normal" porn. I'm sure if it was something kinky or whatever it would cause some interesting conversation and it would be taking it too far to postpone a wedding for it. But teen porn is a completely different matter and shouldn't be tolerated. Especially since this is her computer and it could lead to troublsome conversations if the cops ever knock on her door.
To the OP: I know this might be hard but if you find any truely incriminating evidence you should consider going to the cops. I know it'd be hard since you two obviously have a strong relationship but it'd be best to stop him now before he goes any further.
To the OP: I know this might be hard but if you find any truely incriminating evidence you should consider going to the cops. I know it'd be hard since you two obviously have a strong relationship but it'd be best to stop him now before he goes any further.
if there is a hint that it is illegal, then yeah, go to the police. if its legal, confront him.. maybe its something missing that a little communication can fix 🙂
going to the police with just a hint like this is a bad idea just talk to him about it
If he's in the US and actually viewing illegal stuff, I think that the authorities really do set up these situations and grab you right after the act. So if he's out of jail, I think it's not really illegal. But you should confront him because if it's going to work between you two, he'd better be honest. Really.
Remember, nothing you can do can possibly change him. Period. I've been married for 11 years, and if I'd learned this long ago, I guess I would have saved myself some frustration. You can't change him. He can't change you. We all might be able to change ourselves, but forget about changing anyone else.
If erasing his browser history bothers you now, you need to deal with it. If you think that viewing the stuff he's viewing will bother you from now on, you need to have that conversation now rather than later. You will not be able to change him.
I also happen to believe that if you decide to love each other you can work through anything at all. I reall do hope that you can come to a good solution rather than causing even more problems for you. Good luck 🙂
Remember, nothing you can do can possibly change him. Period. I've been married for 11 years, and if I'd learned this long ago, I guess I would have saved myself some frustration. You can't change him. He can't change you. We all might be able to change ourselves, but forget about changing anyone else.
If erasing his browser history bothers you now, you need to deal with it. If you think that viewing the stuff he's viewing will bother you from now on, you need to have that conversation now rather than later. You will not be able to change him.
I also happen to believe that if you decide to love each other you can work through anything at all. I reall do hope that you can come to a good solution rather than causing even more problems for you. Good luck 🙂
Is there a chance the computer was used by a friend or relative of your fiancé's, and he was embarrassed by whatever they were up to?
It seems to me that if he knows enough to delete caches and stuff, he'd know enough just to turn on "private browsing". Maybe he's covering for someone.
It seems to me that if he knows enough to delete caches and stuff, he'd know enough just to turn on "private browsing". Maybe he's covering for someone.