a personal question for some of you...

[howard]

and possibly slightly inappropriate too.

how much did you spend on a wedding/engagement ring?

I'm going to go that route soon, the problem is that I have no money in the bank, no money after rent/bills each month, and a credit card that has been slightly abused. (i do have good credit though)

I've talk about everything concerning this with the lady, she has gone from wanting a nice ring, to not wanting diamond, to wanting a diamond, to wanting a big diamond, to not wanting to spend anything on a ring to... yeah, you get the point. Dare I say typical female :)

The thing is, she does in the end want something nice, but I think both she and I just want to get married, and that is more important right now. I've been thinking later on when we are more stable financially I can get her the ring she has always wanted.

My take is that its a rock... big deal, the meaning behind it is what is important. But for a lot of girls its one of the most important items in life.

I know that the ring shouldn't matter, and really it doesn't... but we all know, it kinda does.

any advice/insights/opinions would be appreciated.

[mattscott306]

At the time I purchased it, I only spent $1,700. But that was about 2 months of work for me (yeah.. no full time job back then, that changed quick). I think it's suppose to be around three full months pay, or something like that.

However, I think your finances are the most important thing. Don't buy more ring than you can afford.

[Lau]

My ring cost £25 from an art gallery. It's plain silver (no stone), and absolutely perfect. I'm not into expensive jewellery or stones though, and we picked it together and it's spot on. To be honest, I think I'd continue to wear it as a wedding ring. I'd also hate it if he'd spent a ton of money on me, as it seems a bit of a waste to have that round your finger when you could have had something else exciting with that kind of money.

I'm sure that's not necessarily helpful, as you've mentioned your girlfriend might well like something more expensive, but for me the meaning behind it and the fact it fitted with the kind of person i am (cheap :p ) meant it's ideal.

Is there anything your girlfriend particularly likes, like a certain kind of jewellery you saw on holiday together, or something by a designer she likes or something that would be more personal than the usual gold/diamond type thing?

[emw]

I believe at the time I spent about 2 months salary on the thing.

I'm somewhat mixed on the importance of the ring. Symbolically, it's nice to have to show commitment, but financially it can be tough on the guy to swing. Most guys getting engaged don't have 2 months salary sitting around for this type of thing, and hence go into debt.

Not the best start, I'd say.

Of course, the fiancé's friends will all be looking at the ring as a judgment on the guy, so he's pressured to get one that's as nice as possible, even if it means stretching his finances.

So I suppose my advice would to have as serious a discussion as possible with your gf. Let her know that you want to get something that demonstrates your commitment, but that you're concerned about the financial impact at this time. I'm sure she'll understand.

If she doesn't, well...

[devilot]

I've never been engaged or anything like that, but I'd echo what emw said and to have an earnest chat with her about it.

I mean, when my mom and dad got engaged, my mom bought the ring herself. :rolleyes: I think he eventually got her some jewelry but not for awhile. :p

And I think yeah, sure it'd be great if money wasn't so tight and everyone could get the ring they thought their special someone's would love the most from the very beginning, but to me? It really is about the signficance... (And if you shop around are simple/ open-minded, you can get nice diamond rings for not too much.)

[Roric]

When I bought my wife's ring, it was 1991, I was working 3 part time jobs. I went into the store and the old man there could see that I was not looking at the expensive rings. He gave me an 11 point (0.11 carat) diamond ring for $400. He also let me make payments (0% interest) on it and I paid $25/week (one job paid cash). When I had paid off $200, he let me take it home. We bought the matching wedding band 1 year later. Yes, he held onto the matching band for me.

Now after 14 years of marriage, I am making a lot more and can afford a larger, more expensive ring. But, my wife will not hear of it. She refuses to even consider changing rings. She says that I went to the store and picked it out by myself for her and that is the ring she wants.

The store is still around and I always refer people there. It will be a sad day when the old guy retires. (He was in his 60's or 70's 16 years ago.)

So what is the point of my story? Go to the store and pick out the ring YOU want HER to wear, the ring that expresses your love for her. If she focuses on the size/cut/etc instead of the fact that you picked it out especially for her, take that as a sign of how things will be after the wedding and ask yourself if that is what you really want for the rest of your life.

[howard]

I have talked this with her through and through. Sometimes it confuses me more each time I do!

I guess what it comes down to is this. She would love a nice ring, but she is expecting nothing big at all, and that is fine with her. Getting married is more important. But I do want to surprise her, and not just go the cheap way out, partly at least. Maybe thats stupid because I don't think rings are important and she is fine with anything in the end.

Its nice to hear your stories, and what all of you spent actually. It helps.

[epochblue]

I'll be honest. I spent a lot on my wife's engagement ring. I won't say exactly how much, but it was enough. She loves her ring, and I couldn't be happier that I bought her the one she really wanted. That said, it took me a while to pay it off (a little under 2 years).

Would I do it again? Probably. Would I say it was the best idea to take out a loan to buy a ring? No (especially if you don't have a full-time job).

My advice...
Decide how much money you can spend on the ring and then start shopping around for the best ring for the money. The best decision I made while buying was to buy a smaller stone with better color than a larger stone with worse color. Her stone may be a little smaller than what I would have purchased, but the color is damn-near perfect (and color is what most people notice first). Her stone has a noticeable inclusion in it, but it's really only noticeable if you know where to look.

And like the people above me said...ultimately it's the thought that counts. My wife always told me that I could have bought her a spider ring out of a vending machine and it would have meant as much to her as the one I did buy. Do I believe her? You bet.

Edit: One more piece of advice....buy the setting and the stone separately, you'll spend less that way. And buy the ring from someone local, never somewhere like Tiffany's where you'll pay mostly for the brand name.

[zelmo]

I was lucky, as we kind of just mutually agreed to get married without there really being an official on-bended-knee proposal. We just knew.
My wife and I shopped around for awhile searching for the right engagement/wedding set. We were conscious of prices, but far more interested in finding something that she really loved. We finally found the perfect set for a reasonable sum [$2000 in 1991 dollars]. Not too huge, but very pretty. She knows I would have spent more if she had wanted something else, but she was happy. Plus, that meant we had a good $85 left over for my own wedding band.:p

[howard]

Edit: One more piece of advice....buy the setting and the stone separately, you'll spend less that way. And buy the ring from someone local, never somewhere like Tiffany's where you'll pay mostly for the brand name.

how about the typical mall chain ring stores... zales, rogers and hollands etc. are they good price-wise?

one problem with the local store thing... I live in the midst of some nice areas in an expensive city, finding a cheap local jeweler will be like finding a needle in a hay stack. I wouldn't even know where to start.

[iGav]

the meaning behind it is what is important. But for a lot of girls its one of the most important items in life.

You should design and comission one. That way offsetting cost against exclusivity and individuality.

[epochblue]

how about the typical mall chain ring stores... zales, rogers and hollands etc. are they good price-wise?

one problem with the local store thing... I live in the midst of some nice areas in an expensive city, finding a cheap local jeweler will be like finding a needle in a hay stack. I wouldn't even know where to start.

I'm not sure - I've honestly never really looked for rings at those places. I'd still say you find a smaller local jeweler and talk to the person inside. Typically those places are more friendly (since they're typically family run) and more willing to give you a better deal so you become a repeat customer.

With the larger chain-like stores, in my experience, you're just another customer.

Another thing you could do is go into a local jeweler and get yourself a lesson on what to look for in a ring and have them show you examples so you can more effectively shop around. Oh, and white gold is oftentimes indistinguishable from platinum but will occasionally require you to "redip" the ring to keep the white-gold color. That's another money-saver tip.

On a sidenote: With regards to the "4 Cs" my personal opinion is that this is the order that matters: Cut (because this one is a personal preference, start here), Color, Clarity, and Carats.

[Sdashiki]

The ONLY woman worth marrying is one who doesnt NEED an engagement ring.

I fail to see the logic in spending any amount above a few hundred, on a friggen ring.

Whats more is its traditionally a diamond ring, which to me looks like a piece of glass, i.e. who the hell knows, other than the jeweler (who ripped you off), what that stone is really worth? Diamond appraising is a crapshoot, especially when the only person who knows anything you PAID to appraise your ring probably...

I like jewels, color, i dont know, beauty. And I fail to see how a clear rock can be anything but twinkly.

So far, 2 friends married, 2 engagement rings, both $3k+.

IMO, a waste of money. Spend it on the wedding, let others enjoy your money, not just your wife and her silly diamond crazy girlfriends.
But lets not get me started on the waste of money a wedding is...a reception/party, now thats something entirely different.


/rant

[epochblue]

...rant...

Wow, angry much?

If you want my opinion, yes, a woman worth marrying is one that doesn't *need* an engagement ring, but that doesn't mean I can't use the ring as a means of expressing the way I feel about her to everyone.

I bought an expensive ring because I wanted to, because it was what she wanted, and because I wanted to make her happy. The OP wants to buy a ring, why go out of your way to post something like that? If you don't want to buy a ring, don't, but don't impugn his decision just because you think it's silly.

[bartelby]

My wife's gold and titanium wedding ring was about £340.
Her 1960s white gold and diamond engagement ring was about £300.

[Sdashiki]

Wow, angry much?

If you want my opinion, yes, a woman worth marrying is one that doesn't *need* an engagement ring, but that doesn't mean I can't use the ring as a means of expressing the way I feel about her to everyone.

so a poor man doesnt love his wife as much? or just isnt capable of living her as much as you do yours because he cant prove it with consumer goods?

And yes, im angry I have friends complain about being in debt, when they have a $3,000 CC bill for a ring that looks like a thin piece of gold with a large piece of glass on it. This thread just sparked my interest. If someone is going to ask about engagement rings im going to voice my opinion of NO ring is a good ring.

And maybe a better wording is that the only woman worth marrying is one who doesnt WANT any ring.


I guess I can offer some useful info, maybe stick to pawn shops? It will keep your price down, plus it will give you a good idea of just how many marriages last; when all you see is row upon row of pawned engagement rings. LOL!

[mattscott306]

how about the typical mall chain ring stores... zales, rogers and hollands etc. are they good price-wise?

one problem with the local store thing... I live in the midst of some nice areas in an expensive city, finding a cheap local jeweler will be like finding a needle in a hay stack. I wouldn't even know where to start.

I went to Kay to get the engagement ring, I met the manager and struck up a nice conversation with him (somehow we got on the topic of the braves, being a similar interest of ours), and I think I got a good deal. Regardless of if I did or not, he's earned my repeat business, because he prices me a little lower then what I see everyone else at on all my other purchases.

[howard]

Sdashiki,

while a agree with you, unfortunately its more complicated than that.

For example. Try explaining a wife or girlfriend you share financial responsibilities with the point of buying x-item that you want but don't need. For some people its that nice car or motorcycle, for others its nice furniture or going out to expensive restaurants. For me its a $2500 guitar or other audio gear.

What I'm trying to say is just because we don't "get it" doesn't mean that its worth any less to them. My girlfriend thinks I'm crazy if I glance at a guitar of that price, she says, "I can't tell the difference, what do you need that for?" sound familiar? and I tell her the same about a diamond ring. We are really both being hypocrites. The difference between me and my girlfriend, sadly to say this makes me look bad, is that she would have no problem, and would in an instant, buy me that guitar, if she had the money. But if I had the money for an expensive ring, I would still be very hesitant to buy it.

[epochblue]

so a poor man doesnt love his wife as much? or just isnt capable of living her as much as you do yours because he cant prove it with consumer goods?

And yes, im angry I have friends complain about being in debt, when they have a $3,000 CC bill for a ring that looks like a thin piece of gold with a large piece of glass on it. This thread just sparked my interest. If someone is going to ask about engagement rings im going to voice my opinion of NO ring is a good ring.

That isn't anywhere close to what I said; please go back and read my post again. And of course someone who can't afford a ring doesn't love someone any less--that's a ridiculous statement to make, as I certainly didn't even insinuate that.

I'm sorry that your friends are in debt, truly I am, but they didn't have to buy rings outside of their budget. I bought a ring outside my budget, but I paid it off two years earlier than I was supposed to. My advice to the OP was to determine how much he was willing to part with and try to find the best value for his dollar.

He said he wanted to buy a ring, so I'm going to try to help him find a good deal on a beautiful ring, not try to talk him out of it because I think it's silly (FTR, I don't think it's silly).

[devilot]

I'd definitely steer clear of chain stores if at all possible. Why? I haven't the foggiest whether or not they get quality stones, I bet they have some great stones...

But what I do know?

Incredibly outrageous markup.

But of course, I'm a little lucky. My mom has a pretty good friend who's in the industry so we get some superb deals there. Example? Helped pick out a diamond pendant for my sister-- got it for about $125. Saw the exact some one in a... the one that starts w/ a "B" (I can't remember the name!) and it was "on sale" from $1200 down to $999. :eek: And relatively recently, another contact through a relative works in the jewel district of downtown LA and he has great deals because he literally flies to Belgium and elsewhere to pick out each stone, and he has unique designs. I got a relatively simple white gold with five little rocks (that still sparkle quite well) for $175. If a person I cared for proposed to me with that ring? I'd be ecstatic. It's a gorgeous and on the "humbler" side, but it is lovely. And it didin't cost a fortune. But again, I realize, not everyone has contacts in the industry. :o

[hayduke]

One way to convince her that you shouldn't spend a *lot* of money on a ring is to help her understand that marraige is the bringing together of two people...including their debt!

[CorvusCamenarum]

The ONLY woman worth marrying is one who doesnt NEED an engagement ring.

QFT. I can think of many much more practical [marital] uses to which I can put 2 months' salary rather than blowing it on an outdated and sexist status symbol.

To the OP: - if you simply must buy one, I'd recommend taking a look at lab-created diamonds. The quality has improved greatly over the years and they're far less expensive than mined DeBeers diamonds.

[MultiM]

I absolutely agree about the lab created stones. I bought a 1.25 carat "created" stone for my wife. She knew all about it. Diamonds are the biggest rip off in jewelry. A really good 'fake' can pass many tests that indicate a diamond. I have yet to see a jeweler here recognize my wife's ring as a fake. Moisenite is the name of the stone. It is much harder than any other fake diamond and refracts and has depth just like a diamond. I highly recommend it. Wifey has had NOTHING but compliments on her ring. I know a guy who spent $13,000.00 on a ring and it doesn't look any different from my wife's. I spent about $2500.

Don't waste your money. Put it towards a house instead.

[thedude110]

I'll be honest. I spent a lot on my wife's engagement ring. I won't say exactly how much, but it was enough. She loves her ring, and I couldn't be happier that I bought her the one she really wanted. That said, it took me a while to pay it off (a little under 2 years).


I also took out a loan to buy my wife's engagement ring, but that's 'cause she had previously shown me the precise ring she wanted. Then, I saw the price tag -- and at this time I was making about $17,000 a year and supporting the two of us.

I don't regret the purchase or the loan, though. While she and I don't really share values as to what makes a ring "significant" or "beautiful," the ring is both significant and beautiful to her (and obviously in some ways to me), and that's what really matters.

I would echo everyone else in this thread who says that you need to talk to your woman, though. Be straightforward. Let her pick something out, if need be. If what she wants is a surprise, then fine. Otherwise, get her what she wants. We all deserve such attention.

[livingfortoday]

When the time comes for me, I'm just gonna adopt some African orphans from a war-torn area and let the girlfriend behead them, or lop of hands or whatever. It'll be a lot cheaper for me, and it'll be the same end result.

[plinden]

I was willing to pay two months income (after tax) for my wife's engagement ring, which was about £2000 back then. Then we went around a few jewellers together and she picked out the one she wanted. It came to £600. She just didn't like anything more expensive - which was generally too big and flashy for her.

(By the way, the whole shebang - rings, dress, flowers, dinner for 60 etc, came to £3000. We used the rest of our savings to move to California two weeks later.)

[skunk]

We didn't get engaged, we just got married.

It's lasted 30 years, though. :)

As for the wedding ring, she made that herself out of a nugget I bought in Ballarat. We're cheap that way.

[sushi]

When I bought my wife's ring, it was 1991, I was working 3 part time jobs.

<snip>

Now after 14 years of marriage, I am making a lot more and can afford a larger, more expensive ring. But, my wife will not hear of it. She refuses to even consider changing rings. She says that I went to the store and picked it out by myself for her and that is the ring she wants.
<snip>
Neat story. Good wife! :)

As far as the jewelry industry goes, they try to push folks into purchasing a ring that costs 3 months salary. So if you pull in 24 grand a year, that would be a 6 grand for the ring. A bit much if you ask me. But they are in the business of making money so the more expensive ring the better for them.

BTW, the mark up on diamonds is huge -- really huge.

[jelloshotsrule]

~$1100

the ring itself was custom made with white gold, very simple band in which they set a polished oval of new zealand jade.

[iSaint]

Two months salary. (http://www.adiamondisforever.com/ring/spend.html)

[skunk]

Two months salary. (http://www.adiamondisforever.com/ring/spend.html)Anyone who accepts the guidance of a diamond merchant on how much their engagement is worth needs their head examined, IMHO. :cool:

[Abstract]

The general guideline for buying a wedding ring is 8 weeks of salary. For a car, it should be 35-40 weeks.

That's just a basic guideline, though. Just get whatever you can afford. :) You don't think she knows what your financial situation is like? She knows. If you don't earn a lot of money, get her something modest --- she already knows what to expect based on your salary. She won't be disappointed. :)

[aloofman]

Since I've never been engaged, married or remotely close to either, you can take this with a grain of salt, worth every penny you paid for it:

You couldn't pay me to buy a diamond for anyone. It's a cruel, exploitive industry run by a cartel that cons people into believing that they're valuable based on ancient, sexist traditions. The tobacco and oil industries must envy them.

A ring, that I could buy. I don't think it's ridiculous to spend a lot of money on a (diamondless) ring. It's a symbol that's intended to last forever, and it's the only one you'll give her for that purpose. All past and future gifts are temporary and less symbolic by comparison. Having said that, she needs to be aware of your financial limitations. I don't think it's unromantic to weigh these costs at all, considering it's just the start of your investing in each other. As someone else suggested, it makes a lot of sense to buy a cheaper ring now and invest in a down payment on a house instead. If she's really The One, she won't resent your for it or let her friends make any judgments.

And it's absolutely true that people are hypocritical for criticizing a wedding ring price while blowing money on other unnecessary things all the time. Is it any dumber than going out to eat more than we need to? Losing money at slot machines? Buying a sports car? I say no.

[sinstoic]

The ONLY woman worth marrying is one who doesnt NEED an EXPENSIVE engagement/wedding ring.

Love is free, don't pay a price for it!

[true777]

I've always thought that you can get quite beautiful rings for around $2500-3000.

That's what I would expect a boyfriend to buy me.
It's a big enough investment to be very special, but not ridiculously expensive.

[fairnymph]

Two alternative options:

1. Seek out a family heirloom gem that you can reset. Surely someone in your family (or possibly even hers, if you're not opposed to the gem coming from her side) must have some gem, and quite possibly a diamond, that you can use to create a ring to suit your lady's tastes? My late husband had a diamond that was his mother's, and before that his great-grandmother's, and that became my engagement ring. I always felt very special to be wearing something with such history.

2. Get a beautiful non diamond. Diamonds have no resale value (or almost none, really, it's a huge hoax that diamonds are worth anything significant), and they're also rather boring. There are a variety of gorgeous precious and semiprecious stones that are NOT diamonds, and are much more affordable, and still worth more in terms of resale! Plus, everyone has a diamond - why not be different? If you're a mac person, you surely understand this sentiment. I would have gotten a garnet had my husband not had the family diamond.

ETA: My ring ended up costing about a little under $300 for the setting (14k white gold). The diamond was 'free'. The overall 'value' of the ring is around $1500 or so, I believe. But I would have been perfectly happy with a garnet ring worth $350.

[emmawu]

When we got married there was no way on earth my soon to be husband could afford an engagement ring. He bought me a plain gold band which I love. In ten years he bought be an anniversary ring which is beautiful but cost under $500. The marriage is more important than the wedding ( I hate lavish weddings) or the ring. We were both in school and working at least two jobs and the first thing we went into serious debt for was a Macintosh. :)

[killr_b]

Only spend what you can save up to.




Don't go into debt. Ever.

If she isn't down with that, leave. ;)

[Sdashiki]

Love is free, don't pay a price for it!

HERE,
HERE!

there is a gift, then there is an expected traditional doodad which costs any amount, obscene or not.

i think that is a HUGE difference.

[sushi]

I've always thought that you can get quite beautiful rings for around $2500-3000.

That's what I would expect a boyfriend to buy me.
It's a big enough investment to be very special, but not ridiculously expensive.
Unfortunately, you may be disappointed some day if your fiance can only afford a much cheaper ring.

The marriage is more important than the wedding ( I hate lavish weddings) or the ring.
So very true.

We probably all know of a few folks who lavish weddings or exchanged expensive rings but forgot what they represented.

To the OP, remember a good woman will not expect something that you cannot afford. Rather she will understand.

[macmama]

Hey Howard,

Congrats on the upcoming engagement (should all go well, of course! ;) ). I don't know where you're located, but if you're near a major city, it will be worth your while to go directly to a diamond dealer and jewelry designer. You may end up paying as much as you would at a chain jeweler, but the quality is going to be better. Plus of course, you'll have more say over the kind of ring you want.

I love fairnymph's idea of resetting a family heirloom, though.

[Leareth]

I would recommend going the custom route.

1)Melt down any scrap gold you have , you dont need much - less than 3 grams.
2)get the goldsmith to roll it instead of casting $50

3) add prong brackets $30

4) add stone - do not buy stones from jewelers buy them from gem cutters.
a nice diamond ie H-J color , I1 clarity and well cut under 1ct will be less than $150 from a cutter. or I know you will laugh, eBay is actually a great place to get stones with out the mark up.

5) set stone $25

total cost for a unique ring under $500.

[howard]

Hey Howard,

Congrats on the upcoming engagement (should all go well, of course! ;) ). I don't know where you're located, but if you're near a major city, it will be worth your while to go directly to a diamond dealer and jewelry designer. You may end up paying as much as you would at a chain jeweler, but the quality is going to be better. Plus of course, you'll have more say over the kind of ring you want.

I love fairnymph's idea of resetting a family heirloom, though.

hmm for some reason I had the mindset that these places would be MORE expensive than the chains, now that a few people have mentioned them i will have to check them out. Any websites that show you where to look for these places?

Thanks for all the good advice people have given.

I don't really want to get in to arguments with all of the comments about whether its good or bad to buy a certain price range, or ring at all. I just wanted to see what most people spent, and also all this good advice about where to look.

Obviously if a marriage is all about the ring its not a good idea to marry that person, I figured that was common sense. My point is that I do want to impress my girl with something nice. Not necessarily something expensive but what she would want.

[howard]

I would recommend going the custom route.

1)Melt down any scrap gold you have , you dont need much - less than 3 grams.
2)get the goldsmith to roll it instead of casting $50

3) add prong brackets $30

4) add stone - do not buy stones from jewelers buy them from gem cutters.
a nice diamond ie H-J color , I1 clarity and well cut under 1ct will be less than $150 from a cutter. or I know you will laugh, eBay is actually a great place to get stones with out the mark up.

5) set stone $25

total cost for a unique ring under $500.

that would actually be really cool. really cool. not only can I get it at a good price, but I could actually get it made just for her. Where do you find places like this?

[dsnort]

I must admit, there is a deep, dark secret regarding the very nice ring I gave my bride of 10 for our engagement.

And the best way to keep a secret, is not to tell it!

[angelneo]

When I bought my wife's ring, it was 1991, I was working 3 part time jobs. I went into the store and the old man there could see that I was not looking at the expensive rings. He gave me an 11 point (0.11 carat) diamond ring for $400. He also let me make payments (0% interest) on it and I paid $25/week (one job paid cash). When I had paid off $200, he let me take it home. We bought the matching wedding band 1 year later. Yes, he held onto the matching band for me.

Now after 14 years of marriage, I am making a lot more and can afford a larger, more expensive ring. But, my wife will not hear of it. She refuses to even consider changing rings. She says that I went to the store and picked it out by myself for her and that is the ring she wants.Just by hearing the story, I can see how much the ring meant to both you and your wife, and how much you love your wife. :) :) :)

[Leareth]

that would actually be really cool. really cool. not only can I get it at a good price, but I could actually get it made just for her. Where do you find places like this?

You only need two people
the goldsmith - can be affiliated with jewelry store but I use freelancers- less mark up, more time spent in getting it right. Look under metalsmiths or goldsmiths in phonebook.
the reason I said roll the gold is that a cast costs $125 for the mold plus the hourly rate, and a simple ring does not require a custom mold unless she is like me with really big hands - I take a size 13 ring !!!

the stone/gem cutters find in phone book under Lapidary or even gem cutter. call and ask for what they have on hand or if they know someone willing to sell a loose diamond stone G-J color, I2 or better and under 1 ct you will get alot of options keep bargaining.

then once you have stone ask goldsmith to set it in the gold setting. Done

Optional step go to an appraiser and get a certificate that states how much the ring is worth ,it will be easily ten times what you paid for it. Impress GF/fiancee

[theLimit]

I spent about $100 total on the ring and both our bands. My tux was a cheap rental, our wedding was held at her dad's church, and our honeymoon was a single night at a $40 hotel with an $8 bottle of wine. When the time is right, I'll present her with a diamond she could skate on, and we'll fly to Ireland for the real honeymoon. I've got that penciled in for "someday".

[howard]

You only need two people
the goldsmith - can be affiliated with jewelry store but I use freelancers- less mark up, more time spent in getting it right. Look under metalsmiths or goldsmiths in phonebook.
the reason I said roll the gold is that a cast costs $125 for the mold plus the hourly rate, and a simple ring does not require a custom mold unless she is like me with really big hands - I take a size 13 ring !!!

the stone/gem cutters find in phone book under Lapidary or even gem cutter. call and ask for what they have on hand or if they know someone willing to sell a loose diamond stone G-J color, I2 or better and under 1 ct you will get alot of options keep bargaining.

then once you have stone ask goldsmith to set it in the gold setting. Done

Optional step go to an appraiser and get a certificate that states how much the ring is worth ,it will be easily ten times what you paid for it. Impress GF/fiancee


cool, thanks for all the info. I'm definitely going to look into this.

Slightly concerned of the fact that I know nothing about this stuff, don't want to mess something up and be out more than I should, or get ripped off. But this could be a good experience.

[4JNA]

seems to me a shame to spend so much on something that matters so little when just starting a life together. life gets expensive after getting married, and WAY expensive after kids come along if that is the plan. double cost for no kids, four times cost after kids, single being the reference.

i really liked the do it yourself post. great idea. i was also going to suggest that if she is really into the ring idea, but can at least see the upcoming money part... go shopping at pawn shops, estate auctions and the like. it may not be the most valuable ring, but she gets to help/pick something she likes, and you (both) could save a bunch of money. best of luck with everything and congrats.

[ChrisBrightwell]

how about the typical mall chain ring stores... zales, rogers and hollands etc. are they good price-wise?Personally, I would avoid the mall like I would avoid the plague. They're typically over-priced and only carry sub-par gems.

My wife and I went shopping together for her ring. She couldn't decide what she really wanted, so I saved some money, set a budget, and put her in the car. We drove to one of her favorite jewelry stores, I passed the saleman a note with my budget on it, and she shopped to her heart's content.

She found the band that took her breath away and I bought the best diamond I could afford with the remainder of the budget. All told, it's a ring that I still catch her looking at and smiling about on an almost daily basis ... almost three years later.

I spent a bit more than I had planned ($2200), but it was worth every penny, IMO.

[ecche]

I spent about US$1200 on a 22 carat gold ring, no stone, in Zimbabwe, 1994. Today I'd take my fiancee to Hongkong for a nice holiday and have the ring made there , for a fraction of the cost....

[iBlue]

Go in honest and open about it.

It sounds like you've already sort of talked about this so it's not a totally spontaneous (or stereotypical surprise) proposal where you need to get down on one knee with a ring in hand.

I'd propose and tell her you'd like to go ring shopping with her... then when appropriate let her in on the financial aspect of what you can or can't afford. If she's a keeper, she'll understand and not make this an uncomfortable situation for you. You (she) can both pick the ring. It's often times the best way to go.

Good luck! :)

[janey]

And relatively recently, another contact through a relative works in the jewel district of downtown LA and he has great deals because he literally flies to Belgium and elsewhere to pick out each stone, and he has unique designs.
Ohh my god, the jewelry district here in LA is amazing. So much jewelry, so cheap. If you have contacts, even better. Thousands of businesses all in a few blocks that do everything there is to do about jewelry. Designers, suppliers, dealers, just name anything and it's there...

I've always thought that you can get quite beautiful rings for around $2500-3000.

That's what I would expect a boyfriend to buy me.
It's a big enough investment to be very special, but not ridiculously expensive.
As much as I've eyed platinum rings with huge rocks worth tens of thousands of dollars (a girl can dream, right? :p ), I honestly think $2500-3000 is a bit much for a ring (screw 2 months' salary too, that's money that could go towards something else..). I'd much prefer a useful new computer to a ridiculously useless ring that I would honestly not even think about wearing cause I couldn't bear thinking about losing something so expensive.

On the flip side, a simple ring that's $4-500 at most I'd love...platinum or titanium would be sweet (no stones, i don't really like stones that much).

[jelloshotsrule]

I've always thought that you can get quite beautiful rings for around $2500-3000.

i've always thought you could get one for a few hundred. or less. and it's all the more valuable if you put some heart into it and it's something that's more than just a ring because you had to get one...

That's what I would expect a boyfriend to buy me.

would you buy one for him?

[sinstoic]

If you have money better buy her a fully loaded Apple Macbook Pro + Apple iPod of her choice + Apple TV + Apple iPhone + all related most wanted accessories!

Rings are just symbols whereas Apple Macbook Pros are status (read how much he cares for me) symbols! ;)

Once she tells her friends what you did, all her friends will regret not dating and trying to marry you in the first place! ;)

[fairnymph]

My husband got me the ring ($350) and I bought him an ipod ($400). I felt he should have something too!

[jelloshotsrule]

My husband got me the ring ($350) and I bought him an ipod ($400). I felt he should have something too!

nice!

but you really should've spent more like 2 months salary and gotten him a macbook pro. ;)

[macmama]

hmm for some reason I had the mindset that these places would be MORE expensive than the chains, now that a few people have mentioned them i will have to check them out. Any websites that show you where to look for these places?
Hi Howard, sorry for the late reply. As Janey said above, big cities often have jewelry/diamond districts. In NYC, it's midtown in the 40s. Just shop after shop of diamond dealers. The one where a friend of the family works is actually in a large building, where each of the craftsmen has their own small office. They transport the diamonds on their bodies in these little bags beneath their clothes; it's quite wild!

[floriflee]

We didn't get engaged, we just got married.

It's lasted 30 years, though. :)

As for the wedding ring, she made that herself out of a nugget I bought in Ballarat. We're cheap that way.

That's the way to do it. :cool:

I wouldn't let the hubby spend a whole lot on the ring set. I didn't really have too much say in the matter--I was allowed to give him ideas of what I liked--but I did what I could. My wedding band is just a simple platinum band. The engagement ring was custom made so we didn't get an official set of rings. I think it ended up being cheaper that way. The hubby has said he'd like to upgrade it someday, but frankly, I think what I got was absolutely beautiful. It came from the heart and he put a lot of thought into it so I couldn't ask for more.

[evilgEEk]

The first day I went looking for an engagement ring I found the perfect one. It was very low profile with five small diamonds set in a platinum band, exactly what she wanted. It was $420 and I put $150 down, then came back two weeks later and put down the rest.

My wife loved it so much that she kept it as her wedding ring as well.

You don't have to spend a lot of money for it to mean something, and it's just ridiculous to go in to massive amounts of debt for a ring. That's a horrible way to start your marriage.

[bartelby]

...platinum or titanium would be sweet

Titanium is the way to go. Have you seen how much is involved in making titanium?:eek:

[miloblithe]

Titanium is the way to go. Have you seen how much is involved in making titanium?:eek:

Too light for me. I like the weight of platinum. Also, it can't be resized can it?

[janey]

Titanium is the way to go. Have you seen how much is involved in making titanium?:eek:
Well, until the time comes... ;)

Although I would gladly pass on a ring if it was not affordable for my future spouse. Or go for one of those cheap $30 rings...I have a whole bunch of very pretty silver/whatever rings floating around that were very, very cheap..no need to spend a lot of money on something pretty (cause affordable and beautiful rings exist too), i'd rather use it to get a new computer :D

[EricNau]

Also, it can't be resized can it?
No, they cannot be resized, but contrary to popular belief, they can be cut off.

[jbernie]

When money is a concern, buy the ring you want know (if possible) and then get a basic stone, later on you can get a new more appropriate stone set.

Then again Homer proposed to Marge and only had a hot onion ring ;)

When it comes to jewellers... i would say avoid the mall. Though if you are in Denver, Vegas or Phoenix I would recommend Hyde Park. Back in 97 I was on a tour of the SW USA, was in Vegas, wanted to get something nice for the then GF, now ex, the lady at Hyde Park basically turned the store upside down for me trying to find something that fit my budget and also suited my needs, in the end we didn't have any luck, but I did by the white gold chain from the which i later matched up to a pendant from a different store.

A few months ago I wanted to get something for the new gf, I went to Hyde Park here in Denver. It was the only place I wanted to go to get something special all because of a very good experience 9 years previous.

[iGav]

Titanium is the way to go.

That's my choice too. As I understand it, it's one of the few metals that you can't be allergic too. Or something like that.

Gold's just horrible. And Silver's for those that can't afford gold. Weheheh.

[aprilgrey34]

My husband bought my engagement ring a few years ago, when I was a grad student and he was supporting the both of us on a very low salary and a 2-hour daily commute and we ate most of our food out of dented cans. He took out a loan for what was probably more around 4 months' salary at that time to pay for it, which he absolutely refused, even after we were married and both had much better-paying jobs, to let me help pay for.

I had tried to drop "hints" of the style of ring/diamond I preferred (round, pretty! heart-shaped, boo. silver-colored band, pretty! two-toned, boo.), and he was clearly more astute than I gave him credit for... because my ring was and is absolutely perfect. Though he could have given me a two-toned ring with a heart-shaped diamond, and I still would have loved it just because it came him.

Well... maybe I can say that so easily now only because I have the perfect engagement ring (and wedding ring to boot!).

Don't worry, Howard... the ring you give her will be perfect.

[Edandlindz28]

When I got married my wife went looking and picked her ring out (I am not creative nor very good in this area).

I knew what she wanted and how much it was and started saving then purchased it (little less than 4k). They only reason I was able to do that was because I came out of college into the military making pretty good money.

I would take her ring shopping. Look at the mall stores to get and idea of what she likes then you can go out and look for a better price elsewhere. If she doesn't want one after looking then be okay with that.

One thing that will stress a new marriage more is financial burdens. So I would not go out of what you can afford.

But, I would say spend what you can and if you put your heart into it, she will love it.

p.s. the two month rule is BS, I spent 1 month and it took me 5 months to save (lots of PB&J).