Judging Others

[cycocelica]

So some of my friends are really Christian, and try to follow the word of God, which is all cool. But recently they have become really judgemental. I swear (often) and drink (weekends) and all they say to me is "Swearing makes you sound stupid", "how do you have a girlfriend with a dirty mouth?" and "swearing is not gentleman like." They also look down upon me for drinking, thinking I am committing some sort of sin.

Personally, I thought God was only suppose to judge people and here these guys are judging me but saying they are these devote Christians. I hate how they judge me. I choose what I want to do, and as 20 year old person have every right to (maybe not drinking, but I can anyways) swear or make mine own choices. I usually tell them that I can swear if I please and that my girlfriend doesn't judge me for words I say, and put whatever in my body, I feel like putting.

Do you have anyone or know someone who judges people? How do you deal with it?

[Blue Velvet]

Just tell them to go and read Matthew 7:1... hypocrites.

[jayb2000]

Love they neighbor.

If they can't follow that, then they are not acting as Christ did and thus are not really Christian.

Me, I would tell em to Eff off, but I ain't Christian. :D


As for dealing with any criticism, just ask yourself if it bothers you or violates your ethics. If not, then be comfortable, if so, then change it for you, not someone else.

[leekohler]

Deal with it by continuing to do what you like. If I couldn't swear, or knock down some cocktails, I'd probably have a lot of broken dishes. :) I have a filthy, dirty mouth- that's the way I like it and it relieves stress for me.

[cycocelica]

It doesn't bother me, other than the constant reminder from them. I have told them to eff off and I even went as far as saying that they "believe in god too much" after them telling me "I swear too much." Alittle harsh, but I was getting fed up.

I am just curious if other people know people who constantly judge them and what about.

[leekohler]

It doesn't bother me, other than the constant reminder from them. I have told them to eff off and I even went as far as saying that they "believe in god too much" after them telling me "I swear too much." Alittle harsh, but I was getting fed up.

I am just curious if other people know people who constantly judge them and what about.

Oh sure- I get it from time to time. I usually ignore it, but sometimes people need to be told. :)

[Queso]

If they all attend the same church or prayer meetings there could be someone putting ideas into their heads to stop them from behaving in this way "or they go to Hell", and all they are doing is projecting what they've been told onto you.

Learn to deal with it. You'll come across people like this for the rest of your life.

[zimv20]

How do you deal with it?

"see ya".

look forward to your 30's. that's when you learn that you don't have time for people who can't accept you for who you are. it's freeing.

[PlaceofDis]

i wouldn't bother dealing with it myself.

swear words are just words that the aristocracy looked down upon in older times and as such they were labeled as vulgar for seemingly rather arbirarty reasons, at least thats my opinion on it.

and drinking? Jesus drank wine all the time, wtf?

seriously, if they're going to look down on you for it, forget them. at least i would. not worth the hassle of it.

[devilot]

Take a deep breath, smile, and just let go.

That's all that will ever work, trust me. I grew up in the church and surrounded by all that... everyone sins. Everyone makes mistakes. And that's just it-- because of that, no one, no human should ever pass judgment. Period.

If they were truly Christ-like, they wouldn't place judgment on you. And they would at least admit to their own shortcomings.

[obeygiant]

I swear (often) and drink (weekends) and all they say to me is "Swearing makes you sound stupid", "how do you have a girlfriend with a dirty mouth?" and "swearing is not gentleman like." They also look down upon me for drinking, thinking I am committing some sort of sin.


I've met people like this and in my experience they don't have eyes to see beyond their own arrogance. Its like they are so caught up in their beliefs that they fail to see the forest for the trees.. (or vice versa). The best thing to do is just continue to do whats best for you and let them be judgmental.

[KingYaba]

"Beer is proof god loves you."

[yg17]

Its your life. Live it how you want. You're not hurting anybody by swearing and drinking (assuming you don't drive after having a few too many, but you seem to have common sense). If they think you're a bad person for it, let them, it only further proves the fact that nearly all religious people are hypocrites. If they can't set aside religious differences for the sake of friendship, then they aren't your friends. Some of my good friends are very religious (and I'm not, I consider it to be the root of all evil, so definitely different views). But we can set aside our differences and get along great.

[solvs]

Consider looking up a few good talking points to dispute them. It's frustrating for you at first, and they won't listen, but eventually if you are well versed (no pun intended) you can piss them off with their own hypocrisy. Or just tell them to sod off. Seriously, some of my friends piss me off too, but if I can't discuss things openly with you, I won't want to hang around them. If you can prove them to be wrong using their own beliefs against them, they may not even want to hang around you.

Remember though that they think what they're doing is right, so even though it frustrates them as it does you, they may be willing to pursue it further.

[obeygiant]

If they think you're a bad person for it, let them, it only further proves the fact that nearly all religious people are hypocrites.

Actually, it only proves that those particular people are hypocrites.

[cycocelica]

Its actually quit funny. The Christian groups on campus really started to get a bad rap because people would, as they would say "depict Christ in a bad light". For three days straight they wore these shirts saying "I'm Sorry", meaning they were sorry if they ever gave you the wrong impression of Christianity or Christ. My said "friends" wore these shirts and continued to judge others. I told them apology not accepted and I think the majority of the university still believes they haven't changed.

Note: I go to a major public university, so there is no ties to a religion.

[leekohler]

It is too bad- I've lost friends over this stuff. They suddenly couldn't be around me anymore. One actually became part of the ex-gay movement. You want to talk about about a sad, sick human being. He became the most twisted soul I've ever known. I really hope he's gotten out of that, but who knows? I just hope he's not dead because of it. The last time I talked to him, he was beyond messed up.

[atszyman]

Turn it into a drinking game. Every time the offer their advice swear and take another drink....

See how long it takes them to figure out the pattern and stop trying to advise.

However be careful to keep it in moderation. If they are persistent buggers you'll probably need a very low alcohol content drink to avoid drinking too much.

[mactastic]

They're not Campus Crusaders by any chance, are they?

[cycocelica]

They're not Campus Crusaders by any chance, are they?

I think so. Its a mixture of Cru and the Inn.

[mactastic]

I think so. Its a mixture of Cru and the Inn.
I wouldn't be surprised. Crusaders tend to lack subtelty, and are an extrememly evangelical organization.

[carbonmotion]

So some of my friends are really Christian, and try to follow the word of God, which is all cool. But recently they have become really judgemental. I swear (often) and drink (weekends) and all they say to me is "Swearing makes you sound stupid", "how do you have a girlfriend with a dirty mouth?" and "swearing is not gentleman like." They also look down upon me for drinking, thinking I am committing some sort of sin.

Personally, I thought God was only suppose to judge people and here these guys are judging me but saying they are these devote Christians. I hate how they judge me. I choose what I want to do, and as 20 year old person have every right to (maybe not drinking, but I can anyways) swear or make mine own choices. I usually tell them that I can swear if I please and that my girlfriend doesn't judge me for words I say, and put whatever in my body, I feel like putting.

Do you have anyone or know someone who judges people? How do you deal with it?

On one hand, it's probably a good habit to get in to if you plan on entering a professional work environment. Drinking in moderation is probably better for your health. On the other hand, it not really something a 20 year old should worry about.

If you were 25 and working at a law firm, I'd probably tell you to cut down your cursing and hard drinking ...cause at some point in life you have to live more responsibly. However, I don't quite see how Christianity specifically relates to this conversation, maybe it's an appeal to authority.

Enjoy life! Just don't drink till you get horribly sick too often.

[cycocelica]

On one hand, it's probably a good habit to get in to if you plan on entering a professional work environment. Drinking in moderation is probably better for your health. On the other hand, it not really something a 20 year old should worry about.

If you were 25 and working at a law firm, I'd probably tell you to cut down your cursing and hard drinking ...cause at some point in life you have to live more responsibly. However, I don't quite see how Christianity specifically relates to this conversation, maybe it's an appeal to authority.

Enjoy life! Just don't drink till you get horribly sick too often.

Well I know when its ok to swear and not swear. Hanging out with friends is an ok time to swear. I wouldn't do it in front of my employer.

I brought the Christianity thing up because these people say they practice the word of God but like I said, only God is suppose to judge, and here they are judging me.

[mactastic]

Swearing is an asset in my field. Of course you have to know when...

[Roger1]

I'm not sure if swearing is a sin, and I'm pretty sure drinking isn't a sin (I do believe drunkeness is). Anyhow, if they continue, politely point Matthew 7 verse 1-5:

1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

Essentially what it means is, before they point out your sins, they should take care of their own (at least that's how I interpret it) As a Christian, I try to remember this verse, but me being me, I tend to stick my foot in my mouth, usually up to the kneecap :p . So sometimes I sound judgemental, even when I don't mean to be.

Anywho, gotta walk the dog now. Hope this helps. :)

[zap2]

Getting mad on cursing is stupid...as for the drink, I don't support underage drinking, but I have a feeling they dislike for reasons other then your age.

[NATO]

I absolutely detest religous people who seem to think that it's their responsibility to not only to preach their beliefs at anyone who is of a different religious viewpoint or no religious viewpoint and expect the other person to accept this. I'm happy enough to let the religious go about their lives in their own little world of insanity without any input from me, why can't they leave me alone?

I cannot stand anyone who feels they are superior because of their religious beliefs, and sees a non-theist like myself as someone to pity or despise.

It annoys me no end when I'm at a party or a pub or any other social occasion when I ask someone if they would like a drink and I get told "No thank you, I'm Christian". It's these silly made-up rules which they create in order to look good for refusing alcohol (even when it is pointed out to them that there is no mention in the Bible of alcohol being banned - Indeed, didn't Jesus turn water into wine alledgedly?)

/Stopping myself short of full-scale rant