Marriage (offshoot from "How many times have you been married?")

[mattscott306]

I don't believe that anyone can get the chance to re-marry.

You only get married once, and you better as hell make it work. You're not going to get a second chance. That's impossible. You can half-ass it the second or third time around, but you only have one chance to get it right.

I can't believe that divorce is as socially accepted nowdays and seen as normal.

Well, glad you could shove your view down everyone's throats in such a nice and kind way.

While I may agree, divorce should be a last resort, it is still necessary in some/many cases, and the way you stated your view really degrades the validity of the argument.

[bartelby]

I don't believe that anyone can get the chance to re-marry.

You only get married once, and you better as hell make it work. You're not going to get a second chance. That's impossible. You can half-ass it the second or third time around, but you only have one chance to get it right.

I can't believe that divorce is as socially accepted nowdays and seen as normal.

Nice bit of dated thinking. Well done.

[PlaceofDis]

I don't believe that anyone can get the chance to re-marry.

You only get married once, and you better as hell make it work. You're not going to get a second chance. That's impossible. You can half-ass it the second or third time around, but you only have one chance to get it right.

I can't believe that divorce is as socially accepted nowdays and seen as normal.

from a religious point of view i understand. (not that i'm religious, but i understand that its a belief)

however, from a sociological view, its nothing more than serial monogamy.

[ezzie]

I don't believe that anyone can get the chance to re-marry.

well, it does happen, believe it or not. :)


You only get married once, and you better as hell make it work. You're not going to get a second chance. That's impossible. You can half-ass it the second or third time around, but you only have one chance to get it right.

I can't believe that divorce is as socially accepted nowdays and seen as normal.

i've known a few people who have been divorced, and even though i tend to agree with your point about divorce being a bit too "socially accepted", these people are much happier with their "second" spouses.

would you rather people suffer through bad marriages? not all marriages can be saved, although there are some folks who just give up much too easily.

[calculus]

I don't believe that anyone can get the chance to re-marry.

You only get married once, and you better as hell make it work. You're not going to get a second chance. That's impossible. You can half-ass it the second or third time around, but you only have one chance to get it right.

I can't believe that divorce is as socially accepted nowdays and seen as normal.

Well thanks very much for that. I'll pass that on to my lovely (second) wife and children.

[Queso]

I don't believe that anyone can get the chance to re-marry.

You only get married once, and you better as hell make it work. You're not going to get a second chance. That's impossible. You can half-ass it the second or third time around, but you only have one chance to get it right.

I can't believe that divorce is as socially accepted nowdays and seen as normal.
May I suggest you go back to post #1 and read Q's point about the PRSI forum?

Rather than debate what constitues a marriage here, we'll let you decide. If you consider yourself married, answer accordingly. If you want to discuss the social issues about the legality and definition of marriage, use an appropriate thread in the Politics, Religion, Social Issues forum (example, example).

Many thanks.

[173080]

May I suggest you go back to post #1 and read Q's point about the PRSI forum?



Many thanks.

Done. I just typed what was on my mind without thinking about the relevance to the thread.

[MarkCollette]

Was common-law for a couple years, but not married.

Still not convinced that getting married forever is the way to go. Maybe a model of serial monogamy is more reproductively efficient. You know, where you fall in love, have kids, and then pretend to have a cocaine habit, so the wife leaves you, and you don't have to pay alimony. Do that four or five times. Then you can always "clean up", and go back to the family with the prettiest wife / cutest kids / best dog.

/Why do I always troll when I'm sleep deprived? :)

[miloblithe]

173080, do you believe that people whose spouses die should be allowed to remarry?

[pseudobrit]

I'm Catholic, so most would think my views pretty hardcore about what marriage means and how it's considered.

In essence, I think that a Catholic marriage is permanent and cannot be undone. If I were to marry, divorce and remarry I would be a bigamist.

Of course as far as the law and society itself are concerned, it's none of my business and I understand everyone has different values and I fully accept this and them.

[173080]

173080, do you believe that people whose spouses die should be allowed to remarry?

It's entirely up to them, just like the ones who get divorced and re-marry. I'm not anyone to tell them what they can or can't do. It's just something that I personally wouldn't do.

That said, I wouldn't re-marry if my spouse died. I think it would be disrespectful to her if I did. I don't believe that one's committment in marriage ends with his or her spouse's death.

[walangij]

I don't believe that one's committment in marriage ends with his or her spouse's death.

Well thats honorable of you, but at least in the US, it's "till death do us part" which is seen as fine for someone to get married once their spouse is deceased (in many religious beliefs too).

[SMM]

I am happily married for ~20 years. I am not a perfect husband, but I never stop trying. Edie is perfect. I have never been within a light-year of forsaking my vows.

However, I realize that not all relationships end well, regardless of the honesty going in, or the effort trying to succeed. What is ever better, I feel no compulsion to sit in judgement over others.

Let me guess; it is summer, God went on vacation and left you in charge, right?

[calculus]

It's entirely up to them, just like the ones who get divorced and re-marry. I'm not anyone to tell them what they can or can't do. It's just something that I personally wouldn't do.

.

I don't think you can really say what you might do until you are faced with a particular situation

[nbs2]

I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of getting remarried, but that has more to do with the effort that goes into planning a wedding than any actual opposition.

calculus and anyone else who has gotten remarried, I am curious to know if you had a smaller/simpler ceremony/reception the second time around. I don't think I could handle getting married again.

[skunk]

I don't believe that one's committment in marriage ends with his or her spouse's death.Sounds awfully close to necrophilia to me.

[calculus]

calculus and anyone else who has gotten remarried, I am curious to know if you had a smaller/simpler ceremony/reception the second time around. I don't think I could handle getting married again.

Second one was at a register office rather than a church. Fewer people but a better reception. The real difference though was getting married as 'grown-ups' - we did all the organising ourselves with no 'help' from parents and so on.

[nbs2]

The real difference though was getting married as 'grown-ups' - we did all the organising ourselves with no 'help' from parents and so on.

UGH. Even worse.:p The only thing that kept us sane was being able to offload a fair bit of the planning on to my parents.

[Queso]

I don't get this attitude that marriage has to be permanent. Sometimes things just don't work out. If you hated your job or the town where you lived you'd change it, so why stay in a relationship that is going the same way?

Some people need that first marriage before they realise what will truly make them happy. They can then avoid making the same mistake with spouse #2. All power to those that are happy in their first of course, but nobody should be judgemental of those that aren't.

[173080]

I don't get this attitude that marriage has to be permanent. Sometimes things just don't work out. If you hated your job or the town where you lived you'd change it, so why stay in a relationship that is going the same way?

Some people need that first marriage before they realise what will truly make them happy. They can then avoid making the same mistake with spouse #2. All power to those that are happy in their first of course, but nobody should be judgemental of those that aren't.

Marriage cannot be compared to living in a certain town or working at a specific place.

Some people get married without being absolutely sure of what they want. Maybe they don't know each other well enough or the communication isn't as good as it should be. Either way, if one isn't absolutely sure about getting married, why do it? It's not a game.

My guess is that some people take it lightly and think "Even though I'm not sure about this person, I kinda like her/him so we'll see if it works out anyway." That's what dating is for, not marriage.

I understand that there are certain exceptions in which divorce is well deserved. (abuse, infidelity, among others.)

[173080]

Sounds awfully close to necrophilia to me.

No. It's just respect for your loved one.

[miloblithe]

Either way, if one isn't absolutely sure about getting married, why do it?

My guess is that some people take it lightly and think "Even though I'm not sure about this person, I kinda like her/him so we'll see if it works out anyway." That's what dating is for, not marriage.

It must be so wonderful to be both completely sure of yourself that you never make any bad decisions and to be completely right about things.

[Queso]

Marriage cannot be compared to living in a certain town or working at a specific place.
It can be compared, which I just proved by doing precisely that. It's a contract, similar to employment, and a life choice, similar to where you live. It all depends on your perspective.

[calculus]

Marriage cannot be compared to living in a certain town or working at a specific place.

Some people get married without being absolutely sure of what they want. Maybe they don't know each other well enough or the communication isn't as good as it should be. Either way, if one isn't absolutely sure about getting married, why do it? It's not a game.

My guess is that some people take it lightly and think "Even though I'm not sure about this person, I kinda like her/him so we'll see if it works out anyway." That's what dating is for, not marriage.

I understand that there are certain exceptions in which divorce is well deserved. (abuse, infidelity, among others.)

You don't have much experience of life do you...