Should same-sex couples be allowed to adopt children?

[cycocelica]

This class was risen today in one of my sociology classes and I thought it would be interesting to hear what others have to say. So I ask MR...

Should same-sex couple be allowed to adopt children?

[shecky]

absolutely.

[NotFound]

Of course they should. Just because one person is born the way they are doesn't mean specifically that the children they raise will be homosexual as well.

edit: I know people will argue that homosexuality is generally a lifestyle that an individual chooses to live.


Did you choose to be heterosexual?

[PlaceofDis]

of course they should.

i think the better question would be why wouldn't we allow same-sex couples to adopt? i see no valid answers.

[Kernow]

Yes, they should. Why shouldn't they be able to?

[Blue Velvet]

Well, they do over here in the UK... with the occasional problem; the most-publicised and recent one was due to extremely poor vetting of the couple by adoption services in the first place.

Close friends of mine in New Zealand are two lesbians bringing up children, with no problems at all.

How did the discussion in the class go?

[bartelby]

What do you think cycocelica?

[swingerofbirch]

Yes. A loving parent is a loving parent. Of course there should be high standards for adoptive parents regardless of whether there is one parent adopting, two parents adopting, and regardless of whether the two are of the opposite or same sex. A child knows what a loving parent is; that's what matters.

[MacNut]

The debate would be does a child need a father/mother figure in his/her life growing up that a same sex couple can't provide.

[TheAnswer]

I think they should as long as they are loving people. Which, given the fact that they are going through the complex procedures in order to adopt, they most likely are.

I'm much more concerned about heterosexuals that become parents without putting any thought into the matter.

The debate would be does a child need a father/mother figure in his/her life growing up that a same sex couple can't provide.

Unfortunately, the needed father/mother figures aren't necessarily a given in a heterosexual relationship that produces a child, either.

[MacNut]

I think they should as long as they are loving people. Which, given the fact that they are going through the complex procedures in order to adopt, they most likely are.

I'm much more concerned about heterosexuals that become parents without putting any thought into the matter.What is to say that if 2 homosexuals could have kids that they would not put any thought into it either.

Just because 2 people can have a kid doesn't mean they are fit parents.

[atszyman]

What is to say that if 2 homosexuals could have kids that they would not put any thought into it either.

Just because 2 people can have a kid doesn't mean they are fit parents.

Which was the point.

A heterosexual couple can go out and get pregnant/have a child without much difficulty. Homosexual couples do not have such an easy time conceiving and having children.

If the adoption process does not sufficiently vet the parents then it doesn't matter if the couple are the same sex or opposing sexes. Why should any couple who prove that they have thought the process through and have proven themselves to be fit parents be denied the joys of parenthood just because they happen to be the same sex?

The debate would be does a child need a father/mother figure in his/her life growing up that a same sex couple can't provide.

You can argue all you want about male/female role models, but there are plenty of children who grow up just fine in single parent households, why can't a household be headed by two adults of the same sex?

[TheAnswer]

What is to say that if 2 homosexuals could have kids that they would not put any thought into it either.

Just because 2 people can have a kid doesn't mean they are fit parents.

Yes, but because the homosexuals would be going through drawn out process of paperwork, etc...they are more likely to think their decision through. Last time I checked, a homosexual couple can't obtain a child through a cheesy pick up line, a quick lift of the skirt and a couple of gyrations against an alley wall.

[SMM]

I would ask my professor why they would even ask such a question.

[PlaceofDis]

I would ask my professor why they would even ask such a question.

its a sociology class, likely asked because its a social issue and it deviates from 'social norms' as they like to say.

[dswoodley]

I don't think homosexual couples should have to go through any more scrutiny than heterosexual couples. Or for that matter, single homosexuals wishing to adopt. But sometimes I am amazed by what sorts of bad parents were allowed to adopt in the first place.

[MacNut]

You can argue all you want about male/female role models, but there are plenty of children who grow up just fine in single parent households, why can't a household be headed by two adults of the same sex?You can also argue the reverse that kids that were raised by a single parent had a harder time.

[atszyman]

You can also argue the reverse that kids that were raised by a single parent had a harder time.

I was raised by a single parent, I don't think I had any harder time than any of my friends...

Are we going to start forcing single parents to re-marry or at least allow someone of the opposite sex to move in? or maybe they should be forced to put their kids up for adoption?

[MacNut]

I was raised by a single parent, I don't think I had any harder time than any of my friends...

Are we going to start forcing single parents to re-marry or at least allow someone of the opposite sex to move in? or maybe they should be forced to put their kids up for adoption?I think it is a case by case basis. Some kids might fair better then others. Some might need more nurturing.

[PlaceofDis]

I think it is a case by case basis. Some kids might fair better then others. Some might need more nurturing.

i think it depends on the parent, and their attitude and the manner in which things ended, etc. too many factors to name.

[bousozoku]

I would ask my professor why they would even ask such a question.

You could ask, but I believe it's a valid question because society asks the same question.

Any couple who can provide love and preparation for real life should be allowed to adopt. I'm not sure about single people because they're generally so busy doing everything and I'm also not certain about parents of a different race/culture because of my own experience.

[atszyman]

I think it is a case by case basis. Some kids might fair better then others. Some might need more nurturing.

So how does this:

The debate would be does a child need a father/mother figure in his/her life growing up that a same sex couple can't provide.

become any sort of argument in favor of or against adoption by same sex couples?

There are plenty of children adopted and conceived via conventional means that are denied either a father/mother figure due to a parent being removed from their lives. Should we remove them from their remaining parent to find them a "happy hetero home"?

If it's a case by case situation then adoption by same sex couples is also a case by case situation which all adoptions are. I wouldn't want an unfit hetero couple adopting anymore than I'd want an unfit homo couple adopting, at the same time I don't think any fit couple should be denied the chance to adopt based on the sexes of the couple.

[mactastic]

Yes.

[Daveman Deluxe]

I'm comfortable with the idea. It's no less ideal than any other family situation--it can work out OK or it can work out badly on a case-by-case basis. The only concern I would have regards the question of having quality role models of both genders, but then again hopefully parents of all sexual orientations would realize that it takes a village to raise a child--in which case the issue of role models is a non-issue.

[Lyle]

Should same-sex couple be allowed to adopt children?Sure, as long as they have to go through all of the crap that heterosexual couples have to when we want to adopt. Because I just wouldn't want anyone to be spared all of that fun paperwork. :rolleyes:

[mactastic]

Sure, as long as they have to go through all of the crap that heterosexual couples have to when we want to adopt. Because I just wouldn't want anyone to be spared all of that fun paperwork. :rolleyes:
Is anyone proposing fast-tracked adoptions for homosexuals and endless paperwork for hetrosexuals that want to adopt? :rolleyes:

[Queso]

If they're willing and can provide a safe and loving environment then of course they should. Same criteria as anyone else wishing to bring up a child.

[Lau]

... Just because one person is born the way they are doesn't mean specifically that the children they raise will be homosexual as well.

And it wouldn't be a problem if they were. I wouldn't say I'd be happy if my kids were gay, but I wouldn't be sad either – it's like saying "Oh no, I'm gutted, my kids are blonde and I wanted them to be dark haired" or "Damn, my son really wants to be an engineer and he's really talented at it, and I wanted him to be a scientist". It's all shagging, and it's all love, and no worries either way (or neither way). If my kids were happy, I'd be absolutely over the moon.

Not an attack on you at all, andrewxps, just wanted to point that out.

[jsw]

Close friends of mine in New Zealand are two lesbians bringing up children, with no problems at all.
I wish I knew what their secret to problem-free children was. ;)

[Blue Velvet]

I wish I knew what their secret to problem-free children was. ;)

Being two funky downright laidback lesbians, of course. ;)

[dukebound85]

i say no because i feel that being homosexual is a combination of genetics environment and choice. thus to be immersed in that environment would i feel will be an important factor in the outcome of the child. whether this is true or not is up to debate but that is how I see it.

now dont go hating on me because i said that as that is my opinion and this thread asked for it.

[jsw]

Being two funky downright laidback lesbians, of course. ;)So not bathing is the key? ;)

Anyway, to be on topic, I completely agree same-sex couples should be allowed to have children. I wish everyone would have to show some level of competence before having them.

[Blue Velvet]

i say no because i feel that being homosexual is a combination of genetics environment and choice.

No-one's going to hate you but why do you think it's partially a choice?

[dukebound85]

So not bathing is the key? ;)

Anyway, to be on topic, I completely agree same-sex couples should be allowed to have children. I wish everyone would have to show some level of competence before having them.

i agree there. as radical as this seems, i feel there needs to be a licensing scheme to have kids. not all couple are fit to be parents. we have to look at the child's best interest. if i know two people are crack heads and cant honestly give a child a good environment, they should not be allowed to have kids. once again my opinion so take it as you will

[jsw]

No-one's going to hate you but why do you think it's partially a choice?Because they chose not to live in denial. Clearly, choice is involved.

[Kardashian]

Yes.

[mactastic]

i say no because i feel that being homosexual is a combination of genetics environment and choice.
Can you remember at what age you chose to be hetrosexual?

[dukebound85]

No-one's going to hate you but why do you think it's partially a choice?

as i said im not sure but at some point, they had to come to the realization and act on it. that is choice in my opinion. just like i realized i like the opposite sex and choose to date them.

is that a wrongful assumption? hard to be in somebody else's shoes

[NotFound]

Hey, no worries, I totally see where you are coming from. I wish my own parents felt the way you do. Unfortunatly some people don't know how to make the best of the hand they are dealt.


And it wouldn't be a problem if they were. I wouldn't say I'd be happy if my kids were gay, but I wouldn't be sad either – it's like saying "Oh no, I'm gutted, my kids are blonde and I wanted them to be dark haired" or "Damn, my son really wants to be an engineer and he's really talented at it, and I wanted him to be a scientist". It's all shagging, and it's all love, and no worries either way (or neither way). If my kids were happy, I'd be absolutely over the moon.

Not an attack on you at all, andrewxps, just wanted to point that out.

[calculus]

as i said im not sure but at some point, they had to come to the realization and act on it. that is choice in my opinion. just like i realized i like the opposite sex and choose to date them.

is that a wrongful assumption? hard to be in somebody else's shoes

Choice is not the same as realisation. Choice would suggest that you considered homosexuality and rejected it.

[dukebound85]

Can you remember at what age you chose to be hetrosexual?

i may have opened up a can of worms, which i didnt mean to at all. the respose to this thread concerned about homosexual couples being allowed to adopt children. It's hard to realize the implications on a same sex relationship on the child's development. do kids need a father figure and a mother figure? who knows but from my experience, i'm glad i did. that's where my response came from

[dukebound85]

Choice is not the same as realisation. Choice would suggest that you considered homosexuality and rejected it.

i stand corrected.

[Lyle]

Is anyone proposing fast-tracked adoptions for homosexuals and endless paperwork for hetrosexuals that want to adopt? :rolleyes:Well, I can assure you that the last bit is a reality. Double ;).

[aquajet]

It's very convenient for those who would prefer to not see any homosexual couple rear a child, rely on the statistical fact that children who grow up without one parent tend to suffer from more emotional problems. But what continues to amaze me is how these folks are unable to grasp the concept correlation does not imply causation. If you would bother to dig deeper into the problem, rather than cherry-pick evidence to support your preconceived notions of homosexuals, you would see there are a number of other factors which are involved. The biggest one is socioeconomic status, and also what should be the most patently obvious thing -- a single working parent often means less total parenting time that the child receives. It simply has nothing to do with the sex of the parent, which research supported by organizations such as the American Psychological Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics, has shown. In fact, both of these organizations support gay parenting by those who would make good candidates.

For the record, I fully support gay couples who wish to rear children, provided they are deemed fit for the job.

[SMM]

You could ask, but I believe it's a valid question because society asks the same question.

Any couple who can provide love and preparation for real life should be allowed to adopt. I'm not sure about single people because they're generally so busy doing everything and I'm also not certain about parents of a different race/culture because of my own experience.

Qualifying individuals/couples for adoption absolutely needs to be done. I think it has passed the point where one of the questions should be, "Are you gay?". I suppose I was expecting more progress to have been made at the government level. I know there is still considerable resistance by individuals. I think that focusing on people's differences, especially for a persecuted group, exasperates the problem.

Cochella - would that be as in California?

[jczubach]

I know far more 'screwed-up' friends/people from hetero-based two parent parentage than I do from the alternatives(even proportionately speaking). i.e. single moms, dads, gay couples and "children raised by wild animals"(Nell, anyone;)). Whattup? Some level of entitlement for the former(heteros) and a degree of responsibility and gratitude from the latter(all others)?
Being, 'gasp!', adopted and looking at the nurture/nature element of this 'debate' since i was informed at the ripe old age of 6, in the time of Dr. Spock (not 'Mr.' smart alecks, although co-existing at the same time, nonetheless) Family: nuclear/extended, gay/straight ; it seems all to come down to acceptance, Love, and the degree of dysfunction brought to the table. Lose the 'high-horses' and realize that we must all find a way to raise the young-uns appropriately. (And I've seen some pretty messed up Hetero-raised folk in my time.)

[SuperCompu2]

So I ask MR...

Should same-sex couple be allowed to adopt children?

Yes.

[leekohler]

Yes we should. These ridiculous, antiquated myths need to be put to rest.

[Queso]

If they're willing and can provide a safe and loving environment then of course they should. Same criteria as anyone else wishing to bring up a child.

Yes we should. These ridiculous antiquated myths need to be put to rest.
LOL. Yeah, of course I meant "we" too.

Something tells me I'd make a rubbish gay parent :D :D

[jczubach]

One last comment on this. Why in the Heck don't we have some kind of mandatory test/course to eliminate the hillbilly/entitlement attitudes that come with the 'miracle' of child rearing? Ever tried to get an 'Early Child Education' certificate? Should be at least that difficult!:eek:

[Lau]

It is a good point though – have a kid you conceived yourself (by lets face it, a pretty simple procedure), and you're a good parent until proved otherwise. Want to take on a kid who's put up for adoption? You're an unsuitable parent until proved otherwise. I can see the need for checks, but it does seem unnecessarily draconian, especially involving single parents or gay couples, when plently of kids grow up in the same situation and are fine.

[jczubach]

It is a good point though – have a kid you conceived yourself (by lets face it, a pretty simple procedure), and you're a good parent until proved otherwise. Want to take on a kid who's put up for adoption? You're an unsuitable parent until proved otherwise. I can see the need for checks, but it does seem unnecessarily draconian, especially involving single parents or gay couples, when plently of kids grow up in the same situation and are fine.

And at the same time, we need to put Maury P. and Jerry S. to the test... this stuff makes me nuts, esp. on the entitlement issue. remember, i am adopted. Guess what? It don't matter who the original template was. I'm victor 2.2.b revision 6, crucify me. I love my mom, dad, and everyone who came along for the ride. even the naysayers. And guess what? My papa was one of the nasayers and wanted to send me back... Love prevailed. sigh...

[Sayhey]

Yes, of course. It's a question that shouldn't have to be asked, but still comes up far too frequently.

[imac/cheese]

It is a good point though – have a kid you conceived yourself (by lets face it, a pretty simple procedure), and you're a good parent until proved otherwise. Want to take on a kid who's put up for adoption? You're an unsuitable parent until proved otherwise. I can see the need for checks, but it does seem unnecessarily draconian, especially involving single parents or gay couples, when plently of kids grow up in the same situation and are fine.

It is even worse as a foster parent. The state takes these kids away from drug addicts, sexual predators, criminals, etc and yet they scrutinize the foster parents life to ensure you are actually Ward and June. The amount of paperwork is crazy and we are constantly in CYA mode making sure every mosquito bite is documented and the consistency of every BM is recorded.

Of course, I can understand that the state doesn't want to take away someone's child and make the situation worse by giving him/her to a dangerous foster parent, but it is still ridiculous. And they wonder why they have a hard time finding foster parents.

[solvs]

Can you remember at what age you chose to be hetrosexual?

If someone has to "choose" to be hetero, why do I have the feeling they actually aren't? Goes back to that whole "doth protesting too much". I know it wasn't a choice for me to be heterosexual, I can only assume it's the same for homosexuals. The alternative just seems ridiculous.

[Queso]

If someone has to "choose" to be hetero, why do I have the feeling they actually aren't? Goes back to that whole "doth protesting too much". I know it wasn't a choice for me to be heterosexual, I can only assume it's the same for homosexuals. The alternative just seems ridiculous.
There are a small group of people who do get to choose, unless of course they just have done with it and tell everyone they're bi, which is what they normally are. It's exactly the same as with hand-dominance, the majority of people are right handed, a minority are left, and then a tiny number are ambidextrous*.

*or ambisinistral as I prefer to call it ;)

[Iscariot]

I am appalled by the answers in this thread.

Have we, as a once moral, God-fearing people with a powerful history of ethical societal behaviour truly come to this? Do we no longer care what happens to those members of our society who have fallen through the cracks, and now more than ever need our compassion and understanding? I ask you, as grown adults who have seen the horrors and prejudices of this world, why have we consigned some of our very own to this fate?

We should be eating these children. Spare the two poor adults the horrors of these 20 pound terrors, these hatefilled dwarves, these drooling, vomitous crap factories. Where is our dignity?

[zap2]

I don't even know why this is still a question in people's minds...sadly it is, so we need to "deal" with it(and by deall with it, I mean allow it now)

[Stampyhead]

I think some people here forget that we're talking about 'adopting' children, not just 'having' children. Yes, there are some hillbilly one-toothed child molester utter crap parents out there, but more likely than not these people got their children by conceiving them - a right that the government has no power to take away from them. When it comes to adoption, however, everyone is held to strict standards. Most countries will not adopt to single people. In the US you have to be married or they will not even consider you. As to whether or not same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt, I don't know. I'm not sure what my opinion on this is yet. I think the question of gay marriage should be resolved first, though, as I believe gay couples should have to follow the same rules of being married before adoption as heterosexual couples do.

[-::ubermann::-]

if we talk about "what is natural", we havent a problem here
in nature, children were raised by females, males were hunting outside and looking other females to ****
so the "mother-father" family model is a man-made thing, and i dont see why would it be better than "father-father" of "mother-mother" model, and is definitely better than being an orphan, this debate should be over, this reminds me like the protests against blackmen rights lol

[aquajet]

this debate should be over

Trouble is, organizations such as the Family Research Council and Focus on the Family, led by buffoons masquerading around as intellectual heavyweights that we should all look up to, constantly remind us about the "research" which proves they're right. The fact is, these folks are in serious denial, and are outright lying by twisting and contorting research into this topic to suit their own view of how things ought to be. The sooner these frauds are exposed, the better off we'll all be. Unless of course they're terrified by the thought of their little boys playing with Easy-Bake ovens. If that's the case, then it's best to rear them in a judeo-christian, mom-and-dad type of family to minimize that risk.

[KingYaba]

I have a family member who lives with her partner in Dallas and raises their son (my cousin). Judging from the example they have set, it does not matter whether or not the adopting parents are gay strait or whatever.

My cousin does Karate and some other sports. He is a happy little 6th grader and seems to be in a balanced emotional state.

He visits his biological father on a regular basis and has a good relationship with that side of the family.

As for the same-sex household, it provides as much stability if not more than a heterosexual couple.