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View Full Version : Business Card Critique for student




mariahlullaby
Sep 26, 2007, 01:06 AM
Hi guys!

I don't have too much experience with print design besides dabbling here and there, but I just came up with a quick business card for my company. I will probably get 2-sided ones professionally printed, but there's a networking event at my school on Friday that I want to bring some cards to, so I'll be printing these at home.

Is the card too crowded? The event is specifically for entertainment/music people and I want them to know that I specialize in that area.

Thanks!



ivi7
Sep 26, 2007, 01:14 AM
I personally think that if you work on making it a bit less crowded it would look great :)

creator2456
Sep 26, 2007, 01:32 AM
It does look a bit crowded but it doesn't feel 'heavy'. This is a good thing. One thing I would work on is the 3 in the logo. Until I read the website/myspace url I thought it was a B. You could work on spacing the W and 3 out just a tad more or changing the form of the 3. Colors work quite well too.

I think I will do some quick edits in photoshop. Gotta test my nulooq somehow :-)


http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a45/creator2456/W3.jpg

Squareball
Sep 26, 2007, 01:46 AM
I think removing the AIM line would do wonders to clean it up and provide more spacing.

The assumption is that if people want to call you they will use the phone number and if they want to talk to you online they will use the MySpace URL. No need for a fourth contact option. You already have your e-mail address there as well.

You might also drop one of your URLs. If you want to push the MySpace url dump your w3promtions.com url since that is already shown in your e-mail address.

It's also an interesting marketing message saying that you have "Special packages for musicians & entertainers". Since you do promotions, it's logical that all of your specials would be for people who need promoting which are entertainers and musicians. But that's just a random thought :)

mariahlullaby
Sep 26, 2007, 01:55 AM
I think removing the AIM line would do wonders to clean it up and provide more spacing.

The assumption is that if people want to call you they will use the phone number and if they want to talk to you online they will use the MySpace URL. No need for a fourth contact option. You already have your e-mail address there as well.

You might also drop one of your URLs. If you want to push the MySpace url dump your w3promtions.com url since that is already shown in your e-mail address.

It's also an interesting marketing message saying that you have "Special packages for musicians & entertainers". Since you do promotions, it's logical that all of your specials would be for people who need promoting which are entertainers and musicians. But that's just a random thought :)

Thanks everyone for the advice! I will drop the AIM, thanks. I'm not sure, though, if having only a myspace address will make me look unprofessional, even if they see the domain in my email address.

Regarding the line on the bottom, well, there's plenty of people/things that need promoting. For instance, I just finished a site/campaign for a Counseling Center that wanted to promote its special monthly events.

creator: Thanks so much for you help! I am not sure about shortening the "3" center line, only because I purposely made the W and 3 look the same....but my dad also commented that it made him think "Web" but that may not be a good thing....I will think about it, thank you!

creator2456
Sep 26, 2007, 02:27 AM
creator: Thanks so much for you help! I am not sure about shortening the "3" center line, only because I purposely made the W and 3 look the same....but my dad also commented that it made him think "Web" but that may not be a good thing....I will think about it, thank you!

I figured you had made the W and 3 the same puposely, but that creates too strong of a vertical line that draws the view away from the text and doesn't push your eye towards anything else. By having the center line of the 3 shorter (I wouldn't make it any shorter than I already have, but it could be less drastic), you are differentiating the text from the logo while pushing the eye left to right.

Also, your eye wil easily extend the short horizontal line of the 3 to be 'longer' than it really is.

Leave both the myspace and w3 url on the orange line, but reverse the colors of the two. Also, a little more space between the two wouldn't hurt. I also second (third?) the removal of the AIM sn. They can call, email, or myspace you so a 4th is a little overkill.

The exclamation point seems to draw too much attention as well since it is the only ending punctuation. That line being by itself under the orange bar will draw enough attention.

tobefirst
Sep 26, 2007, 09:11 AM
I'd get rid of your myspace link, as it is prominently displayed on your other website.

Your text (at least the "President & Founder" part) appears to be about 11-12 pt. That could be decreased to 9-10, which would open up some space. I'd really like to see some more negative space on this piece.

iHermes
Sep 26, 2007, 03:42 PM
love the colors ... good color scheme but they might only work for now ... what about in a few years from now ... another stage of rebranding, remarketing, etc ...

also, i think it's a little crowded ... i don't think it's very well balanced either ... my eyes go directly to the w3 because it just screams 'look at me' especially with the vibrant colors ...

it's a little top heavy ... spread some info around throughout the card ... it will get there ... i'm no expert but i do professional work for print and web ... i'm always learning ...

ChicoWeb
Sep 26, 2007, 03:45 PM
Color seems to washed out for me at the bottom. Looks very techy if that is the look you were going for.

iHermes
Sep 26, 2007, 03:50 PM
Color seems to washed out for me at the bottom. Looks very techy if that is the look you were going for.

i think it's the gradient ... but i could be wrong ...

ChicoWeb
Sep 26, 2007, 04:53 PM
i think it's the gradient ... but i could be wrong ...
Yah, looks washed out.

angelwatt
Sep 26, 2007, 05:06 PM
I agree with the person saying it looks more like WB than W3. I also agree with people that say it needs more white space, with things spread out a little more. I'd shrink the font on a couple of the lesser important items like job title and AIM address. Might also want to try mixing up the font styles with the information. That can help pull information apart and give the appearance of more space between items.

Another note, if you don't want people to read the phone number you should do more than blur the area, as it's still readable without a lot of effort. I usually use the smudge tool after blurring.

CanadaRAM
Sep 26, 2007, 05:08 PM
Look at the words you are saying: Does each one reinforce the message you want to get across? Also, what are you giving visual prominence to?

President and Founder - nope doesn't do much for me. Ditch the title altogether.

Why is the most important line "special packages for musicians and entertainers" tucked away under the horizontal bar? It's also pretty bland for the intention, isn't it.

I would reword the whole thing, make all the contact information smaller and less prominent, and come up with a market-specific message front and center.

W3 - Specialists in getting your music promoted online!

Or
W3 - Essential Web and Myspace Promotion for performers and songwriters.

or a message that suits your marketing focus.

You have to distinguish yourself from the other 10,000 people who can use the same tired words:

"We do Web Design, and MySpace, and Online Marketing, and... oh yeah we have specials for entertainers too."


What does this mean? That you'll want to have 2 different card designs, one for general use and one for the music industry. So talk to the printing shop, and find out how little extra it will cost to run them at once, with 2 designs, but sharing the same colours.

I say keep the MySpace address as well as the web, it shows your target audience that you are in the territory they want to be in.

Lose the instant messenger addresses though.

semicharmed
Sep 26, 2007, 06:23 PM
What about changing "President & Founder" to "Owner"?
I'd also get rid of the AIM s/n and shorten the line up on the B.
Keep the two web addresses, but align them with each side of the page and make them the same color. It looks like one address now, but oddly two colored.
Also, I'd make the "special packages" text bigger, fill up that whole line at the bottom

Squareball
Sep 26, 2007, 06:46 PM
CanadaRAM once again says everything I was thinking only he says it much more clearly.

Overall though, I must add that you are off to a great start. I like the colors a lot.

mariahlullaby
Sep 26, 2007, 07:02 PM
Thanks again, everyone! I decided to print a back to the card, so it wouldn't be so crowded on the front.

I took your advice, CanadaRAM (and as a side note, thank you so much for your help, because I know you do this stuff professionally, and it's probably frustrating when people like me have no idea what they're doing! it's much appreciated) and changed the slogan.

How's this for the back? Note that I need to sharpen the logo, I just resized the jpeg to make it quick, need to pull the original PSD file.

Edit: Make believe musicians is spelled correctly.

bluetooth
Sep 26, 2007, 11:25 PM
I also like the colours and like where you are going with this but I think it still looks a little cluttered.

I think a business card should be limited to the vital information, ie. company name, contact, logo etc. Tag lines are ok if they are short and to the point, (McDonalds "Im lovin' it" etc.) but anything more and it becomes a little much for such a small media. I would perhaps save the ad jargon for other media forms, ie. web banners/direct mail/ads in papers etc.

If you are doing it two sided, why not go with a nice clean logo on the front and then copmany info on the back. I took a few minutes to show you what kind of direction I am referring to. The orange area on the back would host your address or contact info etc.

Just an idea...click attached.

iHermes
Sep 27, 2007, 08:44 AM
the last design attached was a good starting point ... lookin good and looks like you're on your way to having a good design base for a business card ...

c3str
Oct 5, 2007, 09:11 PM
Many, many people will read it as WB rather than W3.

If a few of us have here, take that and probably square it to get an idea of how many people who view the logo will think the company is WB. Very, very difficult to get past that from a visual communication/typographic/logotype design standpoint.

wongulous
Oct 6, 2007, 10:05 PM
I suggest using a 3 with a jagged top curve instead of that one that does indeed resemble a "B," confusing your business with the ubiquitous "WB." Too confusing from an identity standpoint.

AlexisV
Oct 9, 2007, 05:03 AM
You've crammed two side's worth of information onto one side, even though it's going to be double sided!

'President and Founder' sounds like a bit odd. 'Director' is usually the best name for a small company, or just 'Founder' if it's a bit charity orientated.