help~! parents just got my grades... [Archive]

janey

Sep 27, 2003, 01:42 AM

hey i dont care about the C. it's close to a B so with a little effort it will become an A. My parents overreacted. I'm really glad that i just finished (now) 5 weeks of school. i'm even gladder that i have mostly all A's. Not my parents.

There are plenty of people to talk to. Mainly some of my friends, who failed english, then others who are practically crying becuase they're used to getting 110%'s in the class and got a 90%.
I mean i got a C in an honors magnet english class. just because of some stupid test. goddammit i wish my parents were less stubborn sometimes.

I really want to tell them to kiss my ***. only slight prob is that i'd be completely f***ed if i do. they'd make things more miserable for me. after all they are the ones doing a LOT of things (ie clothes, food (most of the time), stuff, college, blah blah...) :(

iJon

Sep 27, 2003, 01:44 AM

my parents do this to me all the time. now i just sit down at the dinner table and i say i dont feel like defending myself and i get back up and leave. end of story. i tell them that i honestly dont give a s*** what they say so feel free to lay it on me.

iJon

3rdpath

Sep 27, 2003, 01:45 AM

not to start a fight in a house that i don't live in...but...

c'mon...all A's and 1 C...and you're parents are ballistic?

they need to get a hobby...

i suggest you grade them on their abilities. it seems pretty obvious that they've already earned a "C" in priorities 101...:D :eek: :D

janey

Sep 27, 2003, 01:48 AM

Originally posted by G5orbust
Just trust me on this (coming from a guy who gets punished for low grades on TESTS), do not fight. Just take whatever they dish. They will eventually forgive you, so just dont make the situation worse by arguing.
Oh no. They're tired of me not getting straight A's.
They told me i couldnt see josh until i did, that if i "screw up on the next one" they'd drag me outta the school i'm in right now-http://www.lausd.k12.ca.us/NHHS_Highly_Gifted_Mag-and just dump me in the nearby high school which i'm not at all interested in going to because the teachers dont teach (seriously, they're worse than the worst teacher i've ever had) and I cant do what i want, and also that they'd divorce (i'm the only reason why they're still together :rolleyes:) and just leave me with nothing, and that they won't give a f*** about college or anything if i don't get straight a's for the rest of the year.

Talk about being insane. I tried calling the counselor, since she's supposedly really good at dealing with stuff like this, but she wasn't there.
So right now I'm just doing whatever, watching Bowling for Columbine, thinkign that i should go and pretend to work on something and lock my door before my parents find out.

iJon

Sep 27, 2003, 01:53 AM

if i piss off my dad he just comes and takes the ram out of my computer. your parents are just being dumb, dont worry about it. parents always do this, they are like you will never go to college, must do better. although it may be hard to do and really hurt you inside, just ignore it for a while, its normal. unless your like me, these convo's probably wont come up much. doesnt matter how you start, its how you finish, just bring it up before semester so they will shut up.

iJon

janey

Sep 27, 2003, 01:55 AM

Originally posted by iJon
if i piss off my dad he just comes and takes the ram out of my computer. your parents are just being dumb, dont worry about it. parents always do this, they are like you will never go to college, must do better. although it may be hard to do and really hurt you inside, just ignore it for a while, its normal. unless your like me, these convo's probably wont come up much. doesnt matter how you start, its how you finish, just bring it up before semester so they will shut up.

iJon
yeah unfortunate thing is that tehy've been doign this ever since i was like in...1st grade?
Oh well. I think i'll just go to sleep.

jefhatfield

Sep 27, 2003, 01:56 AM

five As and one C is an overall strong grade point average anyway...good enough for the honor roll if the honer roll is at 3.5 gpa

i once had a teacher who was a hard grader and he used to say...hey look, it's no big deal...will it make a difference five years from now? i had another teacher who used to love giving Cs and said, "a C is good..it's average and what is wrong with that?" another teacher, in college, gave students an A if they got a 100, 99 was a B (if your parents are so into As, realize that a lot of private colleges will not fail people out because they need the money..but on the other hand, they compensate by giving out very few As)

don't worry about that one C

in all of high school, i never once made 3.5 and i turned out ok:p

Doctor Q

Sep 27, 2003, 02:01 AM

There is one good reason for your parents, and even you, to care about grades, whether they reflect your talent or not. It's that colleges care about such things too. It's not the only factor they consider, of course, and getting into a highly selective college isn't necessarily your goal. On the other hand, nobody ever says "I'm sorry that I worked hard enough to get that high grade point average."

This must be just an intermediate report card, so maybe you just have a teacher who likes to grade down early to "encourage hard work". I had some teachers like that, including some who admitted that nobody got A's on the first report card.

Gus

Sep 27, 2003, 03:08 AM

Jane, from what you have said in the last post, it is not you that they are upset with. If they have truly tols you that they are together "just for you", then they have some very serious problems with each other. They are overreacting and overcompensating because you are the one thing that they have in common. You are not the reason they are still together, you are THE reason they are together. It is a crappy road to hoe, but it seems that you are stuck with this. You are the one thing that they commonly still love, and because of that, they are coming down on you harder than they probably should. If you are in that school and in that class, then you are obviously tanented enough and gifted enough to deserve it. If they will not listen to you at all, then your only recourse is to speak with the teacher of the class in private outside of class-maybe after school. Getting the teacher to think outside of the school framework is what you need to do, and kindly ask for a large amount of xtra work to prove you know the material.

This sucks for you and I am sorry. I hope your situation improves.

Regards,
Gus

G4scott

Sep 27, 2003, 03:31 AM

don't worry, just tell your parent's that nobodody's perfect...

shadowfax

Sep 27, 2003, 04:36 AM

i asked an asian friend of mine about this--he recommended picking up bad habits like smoking and watching porn--thus making this problem much smaller.

another idea is having a nervous breakdown--which you've already done--but dramatize it in front of them. when you have parents that are immature and bitchy, you have to take control, get the upper hand.

your parents can't put things into perspective by themselves. so, you do it. start studying your ass off, but sob like a baby and don't actually do it--tell them that you feel like an incompetent, that you're not cut out to make the grades--you try to study, and it just doesn't work. you do it so much that it fries your mind. start getting all B's... then C's... when they start to actually encourage you to live a balanced life, do better. gauge your actions--if doing your best isn't good enough for them, start doing s**t and make them realize that your best really is good enough.

this is especially good if your parents are respected in the korean-american first-generation social club, or what call you it. from what i understand, it's very common for them to be judged by their peers based on your talents as their child. when you start to turn into a freaking loser and making all their friends raise their eyebrows and what not, they'll start settling for more realistic expectations.

ahh, cynicism...

if you don't like this idea, i wholly understand. i hate being manipulative, too. but the one thing i hate more is being manipulated, especially by parents. and i don't believe that your parents are doing this for you at all. i think they're doing it for them. if they really cared about you (in terms of your "future prospects") they would take action to help you do better rather than get angry at you.

your choice, of course. you should give your parents a copy of the joy-luck club and tell them that it's really not the end of the civilized world.

Kwyjibo

Sep 27, 2003, 04:36 AM

I didn't get grads until 2nd or 3rd grade.... also taking responsiblity is part of growing up...you messed up and you have to deal with that I guess....just wait until your in college and all you've got is a few tests, mess one up and you coudl fail a course not even get a 78%

scem0

Sep 27, 2003, 04:52 AM

wow..... I always thought you were smart uber....

jk ;)

Who cares. If parents are gunna act dumb then the best thing to do is just ignore them. Or force them to go through a year of what your going through, then they will know all the different kinds of **** you have to go through and put up with.

scem0

anneleonard

Sep 27, 2003, 05:28 AM

Originally posted by übergeek
There are plenty of people to talk to. Mainly some of my friends, who failed english, then others who are practically crying becuase they're used to getting 110%'s in the class and got a 90%.

ahem, sorry? 110%?! how on earth do you get that? how can you score more than the maximum? mathematics gone mad i think.

i think you guys must have very different systems of percentages in education, as i got 69.8% in my degree (Psychology) and got first class honours, whereas you get 90% and you think that's bad? weird. the highest amount i ever got (and we're talking essay subjects here, not tick and cross answers) was 85%, which i was blown away by, people wouldn't believe me i got so high.

no wonder they say everything's bigger in america!

kiwi_the_iwik

Sep 27, 2003, 06:04 AM

Don't worry, über - you'll always be special to us...

Sometimes you really wish that you can divorce yourself from your parents - I, for one, couldn't imagine how your parents reacted, however.

I'm no psychologist, but what I CAN tell you is that your parents eventually come around to a "sensible" way of thinking. I know - mine did eventually. I was pretty much in the same position as you - my Dad was a real hard taskmaster.

He'd be so demanding of everything that I did - I had to be the BEST, or FIRST, all the time. I don't think he really understood the pressures involved. It was hard enough to be good scholastically - I had to be in the top classes at school, and any drop in grades would result in a right-bollicking.

I also did Judo at an international level for a long time - and he'd say things like "If an EYE falls out, jump on it...". Nice guy. He'd also do things like follow me in the car when I went running - just to see whether I'd slink off and sit in a park instead. I was such a small kid for such a LONG time - mainly because he made me diet and exercise to keep me under a certain weight category.

One day, I went OVER that weight category, and had to fight in the next weight group. He was at work, so he didn't find out until he - and I - got home. In the end, I still got 3rd place. Not good enough - to him I was a failure. After that, I just did my own thing, and didn't diet any more. Within 8 months, I'd grown an extra FOOT in size, and gained about 15kg - my natural weight. And - get this - I was winning, all by myself, and happy to do so at my own pace.

So the moral of this little anecdote is that you have to do things AT YOUR OWN PACE - if you set yourself a high rate, you'll burn out by the time you're 30. And that's no BS. All of those students that were in my classes who were EXCEEDINGLY intelligent all ended up in dreary jobs, or on the dole. I know of only ONE who made it - got an electrical engineer degree, and then got bored and became a medical doctor (but he did it ALL at his own pace, and when he was ready).

Give them time - it seems they only want the best for you. Perhaps they're just trying to live vicariously through you, and your achievements. Maybe if you sat down with them - or even got in touch with the counsellor, so you can ALL sit down together - and talk about things, and how you feel, it may help. Tell them how much you understand why they want you to achieve - and that you want to as well. They'll have a hard time arguing with you if they know you're on the same wavelength as them.

My father and I now get along fine - he's proud of the fact that I'm successful in my career, and a father myself (now he can sit back, point and laugh!). I suppose the fact that I'm 12500 MILES away from my family help a great deal - it's a great buffer zone!

But seriously, only YOU know how much you can take. Be fair on yourself, and don't overdo it - otherwise you'll pay for it in the future. School's all good-and-fine - but it's NOT the real world. The REAL world involves a lot more than exams - it's dealing with people, making decisions, and knowing your limitations. Sort out THESE things, and when the time comes, it won't chew you up and spit you out.

Of course, one other option would be just to tell them to "pull their horns in", or you'll put them in a home when they're old...

Good luck!

;)

jefhatfield

Sep 27, 2003, 09:00 AM

Originally posted by anneleonard
ahem, sorry? 110%?! how on earth do you get that? how can you score more than the maximum? mathematics gone mad i think.

i think you guys must have very different systems of percentages in education, as i got 69.8% in my degree (Psychology) and got first class honours, whereas you get 90% and you think that's bad? weird. the highest amount i ever got (and we're talking essay subjects here, not tick and cross answers) was 85%, which i was blown away by, people wouldn't believe me i got so high.

no wonder they say everything's bigger in america!

the extra ten percent is usually extra credit

and grade point averages higher than the maximum 4.0 means the child took advanced level classes...but this is a relatively recent convention in high schools

when i traveled to england to study overseas, i got to meet some bright students at cambridge and i was blown away by their smarts

perhaps the english are held to a much higher standard if they are to go to university and 90s and 100s are not passed out like candy...but it's all relative though since i believe within the usa, or at least according to college ranking publications, the harder schools to get into and the ones with the highest standards are usually on the east coast and the region has a much more intense relationship with education in general...i am sure the same types of parallels can be made in different regions of your country

but in the usa, grad school has three grades...A, B, and do it over (you can't slip by with Cs like an undergrad)

and the SAT is a test where getting 80 percent correct can be better than getting straight As of 90 all throughout high school

so with grad school and the SAT (and some other entrance exams), we are like you where gettting an "85" can be a cause for a celebration:D

Sun Baked

Sep 27, 2003, 09:26 AM

I agree with Les Kern.

But if Wally World isn't hiring, you can always sink to a new low and become a lawyer or a politician.

eyelikeart

Sep 27, 2003, 09:38 AM

Those are pretty good grades, considering a C is supposed to be an "average" grade.

I didn't do so well in high school, not for lack of smarts, but that I didn't care. I never put forth the effort, and always barely scraped by. Maths & Sciences were my weakness, Art & English were my strengths. Still, it didn't prevent me from feeling "unmotivated" enough to nearly fail art my Junior year. :eek:

Now, when I finally made it to design school...totally different story. It was my attendance, or lack of it, that nearly prevented me from graduating. ;)

jefhatfield

Sep 27, 2003, 09:51 AM

Originally posted by shadowfax

this is especially good if your parents are respected in the korean-american first-generation social club, or what call you it. from what i understand, it's very common for them to be judged by their peers based on your talents as their child.

there definitely is a cultural issue here...with us asian americans much of the time, it's not just getting into college, but going for the ivies or a few select non ivies like stanford or MIT

realistically, just getting into college and finishing is quite an accomplishment which 3/4 of the people in this country never do or get a chance to do

a person should be judged on thier achievements, not those of thier kids

lmalave

Sep 27, 2003, 10:15 AM

Originally posted by G5orbust
Take it from high school student like yourself, DONT FIGHT THEM! Parents have one view: their own. They will not allow their view to be changed under any circumstance; regardless of how strong your arguement is.

1 C sucks, but its not the end of the world.

Just trust me on this (coming from a guy who gets punished for low grades on TESTS), do not fight. Just take whatever they dish. They will eventually forgive you, so just dont make the situation worse by arguing.

I have to second this. Just say there's *no* excuse and that you know you can do better, that you're really mad at yourself, and that you won't let it happen again. That's what they want to hear.

See, the thing is, straight A's except for a couple B's or C's may not be enough to satisfy your parents, but it'll be good enough to get you into a school far, far away from your parents (especially if you also rock the SATs). Do what I did: I grew up in Oregon but I went to school on the East Coast, largely because I wanted to get as far away from home as possible.

Go East Coast, definitely. 90% of the better schools are here on the E. Coast anyways, so your parents will actually be happy you're moving so far away, as long as it's to go to a pretty good school.

P.S. Your parents need to understand the concept of reverse psychology. My mom would never come down hard on me for my grades. In 9th grade one time I came home with a few B's and my mom didn't yell at me, she just matter-of-factly said things like: "That's OK, you can be a plumber or something. They make lots of money." I got really mad at myself and got straight A's from there on out, and ended up getting into a top school. Had my mom yelled at me and told me I needed to do better, it would've probably backfired on her.

9hundred

Sep 27, 2003, 10:35 AM

tell your parents to stick it!!

the reason is because it is your future not theirs and if they care then they will only encourage.

irmongoose

Sep 27, 2003, 10:48 AM

This world is a SUCK!

....

Sorry, I've had a pretty bad day. :(

irmongoose

job

Sep 27, 2003, 11:11 AM

if you guys want to know something crazy...

a 3.95 GPA will not get you in the top 10% at my school... :eek:

that's crazy...my class has over 1200 people..

ColoJohnBoy

Sep 27, 2003, 11:17 AM

Originally posted by Doctor Q
There is one good reason for your parents, and even you, to care about grades, whether they reflect your talent or not. It's that colleges care about such things too. It's not the only factor they consider, of course, and getting into a highly selective college isn't necessarily your goal. On the other hand, nobody ever says "I'm sorry that I worked hard enough to get that high grade point average."

As a matter of fact. several people regret working so hard. They sacrifice a lot to get those good grades. They sacrifice a lot for a relatively insignificant payoff. All my siblings warned me of this, so I didn't worry. I took AP and honors classes, but I didn't stress about getting straight A's. My report card usually consisted of mostly B's, a couple A's, and even the dreaded C. I had time to do extra-curriculars, hang out with friends, and just enjoy life. My GPS wasn't as good as many (It was a 3.47) yet I was still accepted into a few top tier schools.

and also that they'd divorce (i'm the only reason why they're still together :rolleyes and just leave me with nothing, and that they won't give a f*** about college or anything if i don't get straight a's for the rest of the year.

Your parents have actually told you that you're the only reason they're still together?!?! Scum of the earth. No offense, but they must not care much if they're so willing to dump the burden of their marriage on you. That's ridiculous. Do what iJon does, just say you don't care what they say and leave them alone. Let them sort out their own bull****.

mwpeters8182

Sep 27, 2003, 11:20 AM

Put it this way - If your other grades are that good, college admissions won't sit there going -- "Oh, we'd love to take you, but there's this C one term in english..." Anyway, only your year average gets sent to colleges anyway, AFAIK. So if you come back, get a few As, you'll be all set. Plus, get your SATs up there, write that you're a Mac user on the apps, and you'll be all set. They'll know how smart you are.

Good luck with your parents, I know the feeling, i couldn't get a C in HS or I wouldn't have something (changed all the time) for about 3 weeks. But honestly, I think it's helped me now. In college, I put my work in to ensure I get the A/ High B.

Oh well, you have to take things as they're dealt. If HS wasn't tough enough already.

--MP

maluscanis

Sep 27, 2003, 11:43 AM

If you want a real answer to this situation ...here it is:

Tell your parents that you did your best (if this is the truth). Then ask them why they cannot accept your best without faulting and deriding you. Tell them that one of the most important acts of parenthood is love and that they ARE NOT DOING THEIR BEST as parents. (In essence, they are saying your best is not good enough for them...this is unacceptable behavior from parents)

Do this all very respectfully...and give them time to let what you said sink in.

Let us know how it turns out,,,as some of us are very interested in seeing this situation work out for you.

God bless,
Simon

Kwyjibo

Sep 27, 2003, 12:39 PM

Originally posted by job
if you guys want to know something crazy...

a 3.95 GPA will not get you in the top 10% at my school... :eek:

that's crazy...my class has over 1200 people..

At my high school we had a 5.0 system with honors points earning extra 5.0 ratings... I loved it I graduated with a 4.6 from having only 3 honors but the top 10 were insanely high gpas........I was in the top 5% too of a class of 850

wdlove

Sep 27, 2003, 01:23 PM

übergeek, I'm so sorry to hear about the problems that your parents are causing for you. I'm like eyelikeart, didn't do well in school. My parents just wanted me to do my best.

It wasn't untill my Junior year that my grades improved. We had to write a paper in English on our career choice. I decided that I wanted to be a mortician. Setting my goal on getting into college my grades improved. My grades in college were average. When I got to mortuary school my grades improved greatly. All the subjects were of interest to me. I got all A's & B's, that was a drastic improvement. I graduated Magna Cum Laude, my parents were so proud.

shadowfax

Sep 27, 2003, 01:28 PM

Originally posted by Kwyjibo
At my high school we had a 5.0 system with honors points earning extra 5.0 ratings... I loved it I graduated with a 4.6 from having only 3 honors but the top 10 were insanely high gpas........I was in the top 5% too of a class of 850 at mine, the weighted system had a 5.0 scale, with honors classes on a 6.0 scale. the top 10% cutoff was about 4.9, which is about what 3.95 would be in job's scale. i barely made it into the top 10%, myself...

howard

Sep 27, 2003, 01:56 PM

if i got grades like that my parents would be very happy, they might give me a little hard time for the C but 5 A's? thats really great in my opinion

iJon

Sep 27, 2003, 02:01 PM

Originally posted by howard
if i got grades like that my parents would be very happy, they might give me a little hard time for the C but 5 A's? thats really great in my opinion
i was talking to my older brother when i got my first c. he is like almost 15 years older than me i think. but he told me when he made a c mom and dad would whip out a beer and have a party, i never forgot that, haha.

iJon

jefhatfield

Sep 27, 2003, 02:15 PM

Originally posted by shadowfax
at mine, the weighted system had a 5.0 scale, with honors classes on a 6.0 scale. the top 10% cutoff was about 4.9, which is about what 3.95 would be in job's scale. i barely made it into the top 10%, myself...

more than 20 years ago, i graduated at the bottom 25 percent of my class in GPA at a 2.3 out of 4.0 scale...i was always playing guitar instead, but i got a really high score on the original SAT back then so i got into a second tier school with a decent reputation which would equate to a good cal state school or lower end university of california

top tier was considered university of california berkeley or UCLA on the low end and stanford and harvard on the high end of that category and that was only reserved for the top ten percent of the grade earners or people who scored in the top few percent in the nation on the SAT

before the SAT was revised, 1300 would guarantee top tier, regardless of grade point average and a 3.5 GPA could put you in the top ten percent of your class since 4.0 was the highest gpa possible...our top student graduated with a 3.9

since we were a public high school, there wasn't the same attention to the SAT and academics as the private high schools who drilled their students...in the four years from 78-82 that i was there, i only saw one kid make it to the very top tier going to stanford...the rest of the top students went to the university of california system and a few to the cal state system

in contrast, the private high school kids would consider it a failure if you ended up going to a public college so most of them made it to the east coast ivies and to stanford or the university of chicago (or some other private college) if they didn't go to the eastern seaboard...it was fairly easy to get into any university of california or cal state school after junior college and that's what many of the lower grade students in high school did...many of those went on to become highly successful anyway

the funny thing is that many of the really high grade earners in high school peaked intellectually in their teens and never made much of themselves after high school or college graduation...life isn't a hundred yard dash, it's a marathon:p

scem0

Sep 27, 2003, 02:20 PM

Originally posted by howard
if i got grades like that my parents would be very happy, they might give me a little hard time for the C but 5 A's? thats really great in my opinion

Same here.

They know im intellegent, but if I got those grades then they would know that I just started to apply myself.

And it looks like im gunna get those grades this six weeks but I moved from taking all honors/AP/IB classes to taking all regulars (Except for computer classes :)). Its like going from College to preschool or something. In English (Junior English III) we were learning how to embed quotes (which I did in probably 7th grade) and we had to backtrack because people weren't capitolizing correctly. So as a junior in highschool I am learning capitaliztion.

I also went to regulars Algebra II which I regret. Although I love the class and there are lots of cool people in it, the teacher sucks. SHe always messes up when working out the problems and always tries to make up excuses like she 'didn't have enough space so she had to write it small and couldn't see it clearly'. On top of that she is a slave to the people above her on my school's hierarchy. When we ask her why we can't use calculators, she doesnt say 'because I think they keep people from learning how to do math in their head' - she says 'because all the algebra II teachers have agreed to blah blah blah'.

And I know some people in regulars Algebra II Classes and they can use calculators.

And on top of it I have a feeling we are going to be reviewing algebra I for the 1st half of the year. I love algebra and I would really love to learn something new. But all we are doing is slowing down because I am one of the few people passing the class! There are so many people who don't understand all this stuff that they should have learned 2 years ago in Algebra I.

And this is also on my mind (it really annoyed and pissed me off). I have a pet peeve against inequlity (not the mathmatic relations known as inequalities ;)) and last Thursday there was a 'grade helper' which had 15 questions. For every correctly answered question you got a point added to your lowest grade. Well, I had a lowest test grade of a 98 so technically (in all fairness) I should have gotten the chance to get a 110 on one of my tests, but she said I wasn't allowed to get more than a 100 on a test. Well if she was a good, fair teacher then she should have changed my 0's on those 2 homeworks I didn't do (told you I didn't apply myself ;)) to 100s or 75s or something.

Okay, this post is quickly becoming a vent for my anger at school.

The school rewards hard work, and it doesn't reward people who don't need to work hard to learn what the teachers are teaching. Those 2 homeworks in algebra II that I didn't do I didn't need to do. Hell! I didn't need to do any of the homework. The only homework i did was the homework that I could do during school. Homework should be optional for those who know the material.

I think a lot of teachers miss the point of assigning homework: most students need those extra problems to fully learn the material. Well I'm not 'most students' so homework does nothing but lower my GPA. So I'm not going to get into a college that I 'deserve' to get into, because I didn't apply myself to learning things that didn't need to be learned and by doing things that would just be a waste of time. Meanwhile, someone who is a hard worker but is of rather low intelligence will get into a great college because of the ****ed up school system.

Did I mention that my Algebra teacher has the most annoying voice anyone could ever imagine. It is a horrible high pitched squeel.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Boy am I glad its the weekend.... ;)

scem0

BTW - I don't consider myself to be above average intelligence or anything...

I just think im a good learner and I actually try to learn what my teachers give me while most students just try to finish all the homework and cram before tests.

And they get rewarded for that!

Argh im made again now :mad: ;) :o

scem0 (yeah i'm still the same person)

Doctor Q

Sep 27, 2003, 03:40 PM

Originally posted by maluscanis
If you want a real answer to this situation ...here it is:

Tell your parents that you did your best (if this is the truth). Then ask them why they cannot accept your best without faulting and deriding you. Tell them that one of the most important acts of parenthood is love and that they ARE NOT DOING THEIR BEST as parents. (In essence, they are saying your best is not good enough for them...this is unacceptable behavior from parents)

Do this all very respectfully...and give them time to let what you said sink in.

Good idea, Simon. That is the most sensible suggestion I've heard for students under fire from parents who are never satisfied.

Roger1

Sep 27, 2003, 07:36 PM

Ubergeek (sorry, forgot how to do the dot thingies) All A's and one C is very, very, good. In my opinion (as a parent) if either one of my children came home with grades like that, I would ride them (just a little now) ;) about the C. Otherwise I would be pleased with them.

When I was younger, my parents used the "stick" method. No, they didn't beat me for bad grades. What they did do was if I got a D I was grounded for 4.5 weeks, or half a quarter. If I got 2 D's it was the full quarter. E's were full quarters, or 9 weeks. A's-C's meant I was free. So, rather than take courses I liked (chemistry) I took blow off courses, or took study hall. I had 2 study halls my sophmore year, because I dropped classes due to poor grades.

Now, I'm not trying to say I had it worse than you. To make a short story long, it sounds like your parents care about you, and are concerned about you succeeding, but are going overboard. If they are as unreasonable as you say, unfortunately there isn't really much you can do about it. If you start doing bad things (as some people have suggested) you will be hurting yourself more than your parents. It's not worth it.

As for them staying together for your sake, that's mighty nice of them. However, to rub your face in it like that is plain wrong. Their marital problems are theirs NOT yours. They have no right dragging you into their problems like that. Suggest to them they should go to marital couseling, and to leave you out of it.

Good luck

P.S I just read the post above mine. Excellent advice

Doctor Q

Sep 27, 2003, 07:51 PM

To get the dot thingies (an umlaut), press Option-u before typing any vowel: Option-u a => ä, Option-u e => ë, etc. For a capital vowel with an umlaut, you still use lowercase Option-u, e.g., Option-u U => Ü. Or take the lazy approach: copy and paste from übergeek's post!

(On a Windows PC, hold Alt while pressing 1 2 9 on the numeric keypad - how intuitive!)

I usually brought home A's and B's on report cards. The first time I ever got straight A's, I was anxious to show off my report card, but my mom didn't seem to care. My dad didn't either. I was disappointed. Years later, she told me it was on purpose because she had heard that parents shouldn't make a fuss over straight A's or the child will be subject to too-high expectations! So, übergeek, wanna trade parents?

job

Sep 27, 2003, 07:59 PM

Originally posted by Kwyjibo
At my high school we had a 5.0 system with honors points earning extra 5.0 ratings... I loved it I graduated with a 4.6 from having only 3 honors but the top 10 were insanely high gpas........I was in the top 5% too of a class of 850

my class is the last class at my school to use the 4.0 GPA scale. the juniors below us use the 6.0 scale.

i still have a 4.0 with all A.P. classes. there are only 59 people out of 1200+ people with a 4.0.

revenuee

Sep 27, 2003, 08:16 PM

78% a C? sounds like a messed up grading system to me

hear in highschool it is:
100 - 92 = A +
91 - 85 = A
84-80 = A -
79 - 77 = B +
76 - 74 = B
73 - 70 = B -
69 - 67 = C +
66 - 64 = C
63 - 60 = C -
59 - 57 = D +
56 - 54 = D
53 - 50 = D -
49 - 0 is F

with that said

i'm not sure what your interests are as far as post secondary education

but a lot of school in Canada are taking subject specific marks into consideration rather then overall average

many of my friends wanted to go into science or engineering, had high marks in math and science type courses but low english, and they still got in where they wanted to go because the school just cared that your literate (passed english), but more importantly cared if you can calculate and solve problems.

personally i had a 80% overall average and still got into the schools i wanted.

Don't know how it is where you are though.

But i remember my parents being on my case all the time for grades when i was in highschool, i just got so use to them nagging that my moms voice just started sounding like static - the kind you hear when the cable goes out.

job

Sep 27, 2003, 08:23 PM

stateside the grading scale runs something like this:

100-95: A+
95-90: A-/A
89-80: B
79-70: C
69-60: D
etc.

i'm not sure if most high schools still use the +/- designation. i know mine does not. it simply awards letter grades, i.e. A, B, etc, followed by the percentage.

revenuee

Sep 27, 2003, 08:34 PM

Originally posted by job
stateside the grading scale runs something like this:

100-95: A+
95-90: A-/A
89-80: B
79-70: C
69-60: D
etc.

i'm not sure if most high schools still use the +/- designation. i know mine does not. it simply awards letter grades, i.e. A, B, etc, followed by the percentage.

so i guess less then 60 is a fail?

ya thats the minumum to stay in university up hear 75- 80 is the minimum to get into a good university for Arts. thats what i'm in.

I hated science

Ironically those were the grades i used to get into university.

NOTE: in Canada
College = 2 years diploma University = 4 years Bachelor

Doctor Q

Sep 27, 2003, 08:37 PM

Originally posted by revenuee
hear in highschool it is:
100 - 92 = A +
91 - 85 = A
84-80 = A -
79 - 77 = B +
76 - 74 = B
73 - 70 = B -
69 - 67 = C +
66 - 64 = C
63 - 60 = C -
59 - 57 = D +
56 - 54 = D
53 - 50 = D -
49 - 0 is FNo F+? Don't laugh, my dad actually got an F+ once. Or maybe you should laugh.

revenuee

Sep 27, 2003, 09:12 PM

F+

truthfully that is an arbitrary scale, we just got % marks

but generaly speaking if you couldn't get a mark of 49 in my school

it would have to be lowered to a 40 inorder to represent that you failed

a 49 was generaly rounded to a 50

and if you got a 50, it was recorded as a 51 meaning that you really earned that mark

so i guess you could say that if anyone got a 50 it was like getting a F+

Going back to Ubergeek (sorry i know it was posted but i don't rememeber how to do the two dots) getting a 78 in english

i'm assuming this was not a spelling test

All english marks are subjective to the marker/ reader. If this was an essay Test, then your teacher is telling you that you are a very good writer, but he didn't like your content.

As an example i gave an essay to three different english teachers to proof read for me, and give me a mock grading.

Teacher (A) gave me a 94 because she felt that regardless of what i was saying, the essay was clear and comprehensive

teacher (B) gave me a 79 because he said, my content was good, but my structure was alittle off

Teacher (C) gave me a 66 because said he felt the content was not accurate and because my structure was not one he liked

Highschool english is designed to teach you how to write comprehensavely, and well structured

unfortunatly to many teachers have firm opinions on topics and if you don't write about what they like to hear, and in a particular structure - they will nail your ass.

UPER. here is how you approuch your defence. I havn't been in this Man/Womans class long enough to figure out how they mark, and what kinda of things they like to here

you say you got a 78, so i'm guessing he liked your content, but he didn't like your structure. thesis, sentence, perhaps transitions

Here are some good questions to ask your teacher and you'll get a feeling what they are like

ask about thesis type- do they want a statement, or do they want a specific list of how your going to proove it

ask them if they want it structured in a point proof explanation way, or a point support way ( lots of my friends got nailed in highschool because they did use this)

ask about transitions, are transion words fine, or do you need a transition statement

and finally, just listen to what the teacher is saying when discussing a topic, get a feeling for what his political and social stance is, aswell listen to the examples given to you from the work studied, you'll get a feeling for what they think the themes and messages are.

If you have questions about anything i just listed

Just post them, and i'll get back to you with what i hope will be a good explanation

shadowfax

Sep 27, 2003, 11:28 PM

revenuee: i would have expected a slightly better form if you were going to give a lecture about english. :p

if anyone needs any help, i'll also volunteer to review your work.... got an 800 on my SAT II writing :cool:

sorry rev, i just had to make the joke :o ;)

revenuee

Sep 28, 2003, 01:39 AM

Originally posted by shadowfax
revenuee: i would have expected a slightly better form if you were going to give a lecture about english. :p

if anyone needs any help, i'll also volunteer to review your work.... got an 800 on my SAT II writing :cool:

sorry rev, i just had to make the joke :o ;)

I totally understand

There was an incredible lack of structure to what i wrote. Probably doesn't instill a whole lot of faith if deciding whether or not i know what i'm talking about. I just wanted to share what i learned in highschool about english teachers.

Joke taken

:cool:

themadchemist

Sep 28, 2003, 01:43 AM

Originally posted by übergeek
this will not work with my parents. that's the problem. there are many solutions out there...the problem is that it's hard to find one that will work with my parents, even if i get every single one of my teachers, everyone who knows me to say something about this.
all they care about are grades. they dont care about how much i learned. they dont care about the fact that i know and remember more about stuff i learned than the valedictorian or the straight-a students. it's the grade that counts for them. it's annoying.

You're an Asian immigrant or first-gen, right?

Well, I hate to say it, but then get used to it...

It's frustrating, but your parents are being practical. Nobody gives a crap about what you learn in high school (I'm assuming you're in high school, correct me if I'm wrong and you're in college)...All anyone cares about is what your grades are.

I had some problems in Orgo last year. I understood most of the material VERY well. I had an A- first quarter. I was on the road to an A second quarter, but because I studied so much, I got really sick before the final exam. The exam came around, and I did only average on it.

From being well within the A range (high A's, even), I went to a B+.

Does anyone care about my sob story? Nope, they only care about the B+.

Third quarter, I launched a massive campus-wide campaign for Academic Vice President. I won, too. Well, I really screwed up the first midterm, I mean REALLY. And despite the fact that I did somewhat above average on everything else for the rest of the quarter, I still ended up with a B.

Now, I have to bust my butt to pull up my GPA...By most standards, it's pretty good, but next month, I have to submit my application for the Goldwater to the university for initial selection rounds, and I'm worried that my science GPA is not high enough.

Plus, I need to have like a 3.8 when it comes time for applying for the Rhodes.

We'll see, but I'm diverging and venting about some of my concerns and worries...Maybe I should start a thread, talk about it with someone besides my family.

My point is that grades matter more than learning for most of your educational career. Your parents know this and they want you to get ahead in life and that's why they're coming down hard on you.

Just tell them you screwed up one test and that you'll do your best to pull up the average.

I'm Indian, so I know how this goes. But I feel that if you put in all you've got, then your parents will respect your grades. I mean, when I was having a little trouble last year, my parents were telling me to study LESS. They knew I spent Friday and Saturday into the early mornings studying...

And when my grades didn't exactly pan out the way I would have liked them to, they were there to comfort me. I think your parents will be, too. But they're just showing you some tough love now. Try to understand that and move on. It's not easy, but it would be very mature of you to do so. Your parents will respect THAT, as well, and I bet they'll come around.

mmmdreg

Sep 28, 2003, 09:17 AM

bahaha so I'm an Aussie so we do things a bit differently. Ok so I don't really know what you'ra talking about but anywayz. I'm a music scholar at a high school and for some reason the school expects me to perform academically too.. well it's more the fact that they "know" I can but i just don't put in the effor because I jig and stuff.. anyway, i got my most recent report and there we get progress/effort/conduct ratings. I got one subject AAA (music of course :P) and I got a mix, going down to D's and stuff elsewhere. My parent's didn't really give a crap. Well they care but meh.. maybe they gave up on me :P. So it's my last year of high school starting in 2 weeks so I'll pull myself together a tad. hehe. Damn. end of rant.

WinterMute

Sep 28, 2003, 10:39 AM

Jane, look ahead, I guess you want to go on to University, you'll need your parents support for that (at least financially), keep your head down at home, bitch to your friends and Josh and us, but don't rock the boat at home.

Really, 2 or 3 more years and your gone from there, make sure you get the subjects you need for your Uni entrance and then go live your own life.

Trust me on this, I had regular fist fights with my dad about my schoolwork, especially maths, he said I'd never get anywhere without maths, well, I got to a Masters degree in the end and I lecture on my subject at post grad level.

Till your out from under their legal and financial control, make it easy on yourself, take the odd pounding and keep quiet, remember that in the end they want the very best for you, but probably don't know the best way to tell you, so it comes over as overly critical. Do as well as you can at school and get to University.

When I was 16 I couldn't believe how stupid my dad was, when I was 21 I couldn't believe how much he'd learned in 5 years:D

Above all, keep a dignity in your dealing with them now, try very hard not to fight them, even when they seem pig-headed and deliberately mean. They love you and they think they are doing the right thing.

Don't get any more C's;) :p

lmalave

Sep 28, 2003, 01:03 PM

Originally posted by job
if you guys want to know something crazy...

a 3.95 GPA will not get you in the top 10% at my school... :eek:

that's crazy...my class has over 1200 people..

Grade inflation. At my high school not ONE person in my class of 300 or so students got a perfect 4.0. If you got a 3.95, you'd be in the top 5. No, not the top 5%, the top *five*. (so basically about the top 2%).

This grade inflation is out of control. If you look at the top private schools like Exeter and Andover, you can actually get a B average and still get accepted to a lot of Ivy League schools (ok, maybe not Harvard/Princeton/Yale, but probably to Cornell/Penn/Dartmouth). Everyone I knew in college that went to Exeter actually got *higher* grades in college than they did in high school. If you have a school where over 10% of the class is basically getting straight A's, the admissions officers have *no* way to reasonably evaluate a GPA from that school. (so you standardized test scores will be weighted more heavily in that case). So my advice to you is: rock those SATs, dude! You'll need it, even if you have a perfect 4.0.

lmalave

Sep 28, 2003, 01:19 PM

Originally posted by themadchemist

My point is that grades matter more than learning for most of your educational career. Your parents know this and they want you to get ahead in life and that's why they're coming down hard on you.

And people skills matter more than grades for most of your *professional* career. Believe me, the managers in corporations making 6 and 7 figure salaries didn't get to where they were because they studied really hard. If you love learning and you want to be a professional academic or doctor, that's one thing. If you just want to make good money, believe me, no one 10 years down the road will care at all wether you got a 3.8, a 3.3, or even a 2.8.

jefhatfield

Sep 28, 2003, 01:43 PM

Originally posted by lmalave
Grade inflation. At my high school not ONE person in my class of 300 or so students got a perfect 4.0. If you got a 3.95, you'd be in the top 5. No, not the top 5%, the top *five*. (so basically about the top 2%).

This grade inflation is out of control. If you look at the top private schools like Exeter and Andover, you can actually get a B average and still get accepted to a lot of Ivy League schools (ok, maybe not Harvard/Princeton/Yale, but probably to Cornell/Penn/Dartmouth). Everyone I knew in college that went to Exeter actually got *higher* grades in college than they did in high school. If you have a school where over 10% of the class is basically getting straight A's, the admissions officers have *no* way to reasonably evaluate a GPA from that school. (so you standardized test scores will be weighted more heavily in that case). So my advice to you is: rock those SATs, dude! You'll need it, even if you have a perfect 4.0.

in commerce, you get what you pay for and it's a safe rule to follow

education should be beyond that, but it really is not that much different...it would be nice if admissions was blind...but in the end, the kids who paid bucks to go to a private high school get preferential treatment when it comes to getting into the ivies and baby ivies

that's the way it goes and it might not be fair

two thirds of american millionaires are born that way...is that fair? and gw bush wants to get rid of inheritance tax and that will make things worse for people who are not born into wealth

the private high school kids are kind of like the rich that way when it comes to getting into good colleges...having graduated from those prep schools, it's like they have this huge head start in life

i look at my area which has working class/middle class kids who go to public high schools and their best hope is a highly rated public college while the kids from the private prep schools all go east...is it that the preppie kids are all that much smarter? and in the time i went to a private college in grad school, the vast majority of the students graduated with their bachelor's degrees from private colleges and drive to class in brand new SUVs and beemers (but then contrast that with the grad school at the state university or the grad school for military officers and then you see everyday regular middle class and working class kids/young adults who came from a blue collar background and are struggling with the high rent in the city and many do not have cars but have to take the bike path to class...it's all about the money in the end

jefhatfield

Sep 28, 2003, 01:58 PM

Balin64

Sep 28, 2003, 03:07 PM

Originally posted by übergeek
...and they're about ready to kill me for getting 5 A's and one C.
it's really frustrating...

do you guys do anything in particular when your parents yell at you for having bad grades? or when something bad happens? do you go and talk to someone? do you take out all your anger on your siblings? do you meditate?

Please don't Post this. I am a 27. A college graduate, and a Theatre professional. This will NOT matter when you are an older individual. I believe that as Americans we obsess about our formative years... let it go and enjoy life. Your parents still love you, they are not putting you out on the street because you got a "C" in English. But I am disappointed: as an English major, I say read your assignemnets and CONCEPTUALIZE. If you ponder on the situation-in-life of novels/plays/poetry and apply it to your own life, you will get that "A". So get your butt in gear and stop posting about your teen problems.

iJon

Sep 28, 2003, 03:10 PM

Originally posted by Balin64
Please don't Post this. I am a 27. A college graduate, and a Theatre professional. This will NOT matter when you are an older individual. I believe that as Americans we obsess about our formative years... let it go and enjoy life. Your parents still love you, they are not putting you out on the street because you got a "C" in English. But I am disappointed: as an English major, I say read your assignemnets and CONCEPTUALIZE. If you ponder on the situation-in-life of novels/plays/poetry and apply it to your own life, you will get that "A". So get your butt in gear and stop posting about your teen problems.
haha i love this thread.

iJon

Doctor Q

Sep 28, 2003, 03:36 PM

Anybody notice that übergeek hasn't been participating in this thread for two days? Maybe her parents shipped her off to Siberia. :(

Vector

Sep 28, 2003, 04:45 PM

Originally posted by revenuee

Going back to Ubergeek (sorry i know it was posted but i don't rememeber how to do the two dots) getting a 78 in english

to make the umlaut on an apple keyboard you press option-u and then whatever vowel you need to have an umlaut over it. In über's case press option-u and then u again.

themadchemist

Sep 28, 2003, 04:48 PM

Originally posted by lmalave
And people skills matter more than grades for most of your *professional* career. Believe me, the managers in corporations making 6 and 7 figure salaries didn't get to where they were because they studied really hard. If you love learning and you want to be a professional academic or doctor, that's one thing. If you just want to make good money, believe me, no one 10 years down the road will care at all wether you got a 3.8, a 3.3, or even a 2.8.

Actually, I would disagree with you. You say something about wanting to be a professional academic or a doctor.

Well, most professional academics have to meet a teaching requirement at their institutions...They also have to work with others (although they are usually the big bosses so that they don't have to care about other people's opinions) so people skills definitely help a LOT.

In medicine...Are you kidding me?! Grades matter to get to med school and for residency math, yeah, but good doctors, great doctors, they have people skills...You have to be able to connect with your patients. It takes PEOPLE SKILLS to tell someone he has cancer or some other terrible news. It takes a lot. It is an emotionally draining profession and if you can't deal with people, you're not fit to be a doctor.

I want to do neurosurgery. Sure, I want do cutting-edge research and be well-versed in the academics, but when it comes to practicing, I need to be able to work with PATIENTS. That takes people skills. So doctors need both sides of it--lots of academic knowledge and lots of social knowledge.

Interesting profession, no doubt.

janey

Sep 28, 2003, 04:49 PM

Doctor Q: I've been away, busy :) was at josh's house yesterday, woke up a couple of hours ago :D

Anyway guys, thanks a lot!
My parents don't give a **** about learning anything, for them it's the grade. My English teacher loves my essays. But I screwed up on a vocab test that I didn't feel like studying for. It sorta is my fault, but i felt like s**t that week because i was coming down with a cold.

College is different. Took a handful of classes and my parents didn't yell at me for getting a B in Algebra 2 (took it before i really finished pre-algebra :p ).
They're not satisfied with the fact that I get A's in most of my honors classes (9th graders usually don't take APs, which sucks a LOT). I know that many of my friends work their butts off to get B's in their classes and their (korean) parents don't yell at them. It's just so unfair. It all changed the moment my 1st grade teacher decided that i was abnormal and wanted me to take an IQ test.

AND I KNOW THIS WON'T MATTER LATER IN LIFE. But my parents were entirely serious about everything they said and I don't want them to do anything that they said they would do. I swear to god my mom's already thinking about getting that divorce she's wanted for years, my dad wants to move to another country and both are just really ticked off and they're hoping that i won't plan on going to college.
I'm starting to hate their guts anyway, they said that if my grades continue to be "bad" i won't even get into a crappy UC school, let alone stanford. their views, ideas, thoughts and opinions are skewed by all the crap they hear about, the s**t they read.
what morons. i'm tired of them.

janey

Sep 28, 2003, 04:53 PM

Originally posted by Balin64
his will NOT matter when you are an older individual. I believe that as Americans we obsess about our formative years... let it go and enjoy life.
oh oh everyone tells me that and i'm trying to.
Your parents still love you, they are not putting you out on the street because you got a "C" in English.
Wanna bet? i'm the child that was unwanted, the one that ruined all of their wonderful plans. and yeah i know this is a fact because my aunts and uncles told me. whenever i'm not nearby and they're talking with each other my parents always bitch about me.

lmalave

Sep 28, 2003, 04:57 PM

Originally posted by themadchemist
Actually, I would disagree with you. You say something about wanting to be a professional academic or a doctor.

Well, most professional academics have to meet a teaching requirement at their institutions...They also have to work with others (although they are usually the big bosses so that they don't have to care about other people's opinions) so people skills definitely help a LOT.

In medicine...Are you kidding me?! Grades matter to get to med school and for residency math, yeah, but good doctors, great doctors, they have people skills...You have to be able to connect with your patients. It takes PEOPLE SKILLS to tell someone he has cancer or some other terrible news. It takes a lot. It is an emotionally draining profession and if you can't deal with people, you're not fit to be a doctor.

I want to do neurosurgery. Sure, I want do cutting-edge research and be well-versed in the academics, but when it comes to practicing, I need to be able to work with PATIENTS. That takes people skills. So doctors need both sides of it--lots of academic knowledge and lots of social knowledge.

Interesting profession, no doubt.

Errrr...for someone that has a 3.8 GPA and wants to be a Rhodes Scholar and a neurosurgeon, you need to brush up on your logic skills. I never said that doctors and academics *didn't* need people skills. I said that doctors and academics are the only people to whom grades will really make a difference in their career path. Just draw a Venn diagram or something, dude, you'll see your simple logical error. You'll need it for the MCATs :rolleyes:

lmalave

Sep 28, 2003, 05:14 PM

Originally posted by übergeek
I'm starting to hate their guts anyway, they said that if my grades continue to be "bad" i won't even get into a crappy UC school, let alone stanford. their views, ideas, thoughts and opinions are skewed by all the crap they hear about, the s**t they read.
what morons. i'm tired of them.

Two words for you: East Coast. Think beyond Stanford and the UCs. If your parents won't pay for it, then get student loans under your name. Like my friend from Wellesley that grew up in Dallas and had to get $80,000 in debt 'cause her parents wouldn't pay for her to go there. It sounds like a lot but she was making major, major bucks working for top management consulting firms right out of college, and she's now doing quite well for herself.

If you can't get into an Ivy League school or another top school like MIT or Johns Hopkins, then consider a smaller school like Wesleyan, Vassar, Tufts, etc. Or you could go for a large but somewhat less prestigious private school like Boston University or New York University. They'd still be better than the UCs. There's a lot of great schools. Like I said, I grew up in Oregon, moved to East Coast (to go to MIT), and I've never looked back.

janey

Sep 28, 2003, 06:18 PM

Originally posted by lmalave
Two words for you: East Coast...
heh i wish. i've been wanting to go to stanford ever since i was like 7 though :(
My dad just told me he'd rather spend the money that my entire family (sorta :p, it's money that i earned, from my relatives, from friends, money from my parents) saved up for my college education on a vacation to some place like hawaii.
what a bastard.
i wish i could spend that money to hire someone to kill him.
Actually that might not be such a good idea.

Doctor Q

Sep 28, 2003, 06:35 PM

When money is tight and competition is tough at the school you want to go to, keep another option in mind: go to a community college, then transfer to the university as a junior. You save a fortune, you can get most general education requirements finished, you can take more time to settle on your major, and you can get into one of the programs that guarantees admission to an affiliated university.

iJon

Sep 28, 2003, 06:39 PM

q is right. ive started community college and taking some basic classes before i go to my major university next year. classes can be much smaller, more individual based, also sometimes the classes can be better (in my position it is, but its all dependent on schools and teachers).

iJon

Marble

Sep 28, 2003, 07:07 PM

Send them this thread...

revenuee

Sep 28, 2003, 07:13 PM

UC? University of California?

Not from the states so i wasn't sure

what Grade are you in Über?

janey

Sep 28, 2003, 07:17 PM

Originally posted by revenuee
UC? University of California?

Not from the states so i wasn't sure

what Grade are you in Über?
yeah. like UCLA, UC Berkely, that stuff...
i'm in 9th grade. jus started high school a few weeks ago. sucks so far.

job

Sep 28, 2003, 07:50 PM

i don't like stanford.

they had a serious lawsuit a while back over the suspected quotas they had for asian/asian-american students. i would not give one cent to go there (as i'm partially asian it's personal.)

ship me off to the east coast.

revenuee

Sep 28, 2003, 07:54 PM

Originally posted by übergeek
yeah. like UCLA, UC Berkely, that stuff...
i'm in 9th grade. jus started high school a few weeks ago. sucks so far.

Personally i really wanted to go to UCLA for film. But when it came down to it i didn't feel like going down to the states for school. Plus i changed my mind a decided i wanted a BA in political science or philosophy.

Not to mention i live 7 minutes away from a top rated canadian university - i'm there now

anyhow...

Your in grade nine, you just started highschool. It's always hard at the beggining, new teachers, new friends, different way of doing things then in elementary school. Don't get to discouraged about marks so early on. I always hated, as it was called in my school, progress reports. It was always a month into school, and usually had one test on it, and it determined your entire average, stupid according to me, later on my teachers just wrote progressing well, or needs more attention, didn't even bother putting a grade. Also, you said this was a vocab test. So you can't spell, who cares, that's why they have spellcheck:D. A single C at the beggining of your highschool carreer will have no bearing on the rest of your time in highschool, nor will it impact your chances of getting into a good school.

I have friends who had honours marks early on in highschool, but when it came to doing well in courses that acctually effected their chances of getting into college, they bairly passed, and didn't end up going anywhere.

I was the opposite, i took it easy early in highschool, cruised by with C's and B's, but in my final year, where it acctually mattered i pulled together and got into every school i applied to.

Parents are parents, they want the best, but they don't remember what it was like when they we're young.

Like some other guys said, keep your head down, but keep your eye on what you think is important, and you'll get there

hope that helps a little.

Alte22a

Sep 28, 2003, 08:10 PM

übergeek,

hey how are you? Sorry about the "C" No biggy really, its quite painful for now. Dont worry it'll be ok later. I saw your pic over at powerbook G5's thread and it looks to me that you are oriental right? My further assumption is that you must have chinese parents that are sort upper middle class and who are over 50? Sorry to make these personally assumptions. If that is so I feel for you. I was the oldest in my family and my parents are the same. Went to Uni study engineering Got bored left, they went mental when I left. Later on went back to Uni studied BA in Advertising and Photography, I am now much happier and my parents are more chilled. Now my sisters they arent getting all the stress that I had. Sheeesh, sucks sometimes being the oldest from an Oriental family living in western society.

Les Kern

Sep 28, 2003, 09:28 PM

Originally posted by übergeek
What morons. i'm tired of them.

Your parents are not morons, they are human. Unconditional love is a sign you have crossed over to adulthood. You haven't. I'll never forget when I realized that "dad was, um, just another guy in the world". I didn't like it, but it gave me a new perspective and appreciation for what my parents did and what they sacrificed.
I still thank a visit to Dr. Phil is in order.

99paa

Sep 28, 2003, 09:50 PM

First off, your parents should know (I worked in admissions at Williams) that this C won't matter at all in college applications, even to the top schools, especially if it's an aberration.

As for your relationship with them, you can either kill yourself trying to be perfect and please them, which will never work, and will never be enough, or you can learn to participate in activities and school for the sheer joy of learning and in doing a good job at something you love. You'll be happier in the long run if you take that path.

And it won't necessarily hurt you, achievement-wise. Learning to love what you do will ensure that you're a high achiever in your chosen field.

jefhatfield

Sep 28, 2003, 10:05 PM

Originally posted by übergeek

I'm starting to hate their guts anyway, they said that if my grades continue to be "bad" i won't even get into a crappy UC school, let alone stanford. their views, ideas, thoughts and opinions are skewed by all the crap they hear about, the s**t they read.
what morons. i'm tired of them.

stanford has an image similar to the ivies, that's for sure

but the UC schools are not really crappy and neither are the cal state schools

if you really put forth an effort in either public school system, you can get a great college education on the cheap around 1900-3600 dollars a year or so and not have to spend 25k a year for stanford

being asian, i was fed the line that in racist america, the only way to achieve equality was to go to an ivy or to stanford or usc if i stayed in california because i somehow couldn't make the east coast

but after many years in the work force, i realized that maybe the only thing a stanford degree will give you beside more pay is no days off and an incredible amount of stress being at the top...everything has its price in life and one should not have to sell their soul to the devil to get there

whooleytoo

Sep 28, 2003, 10:14 PM

This whole thread has me fascinated. In my finals in secondary school (high school equivalent), I got 2 A's, 5 B's, and 2 C's and was absolutely thrilled, it got me into any of the university courses I was aiming at. 5 A's and 1 C over here would be absolutely exceptional!

I could also point out, the Comp. Science degree I studied had a 60% failure rate in the first year alone - so obviously it's just in tough in university (and yes, I was in that 60%..) Are US students more studious, or are they graded easier?

Mike.

p.s. And just in case anyone thinks I'm a thicko, I've an IQ of 140 so would just about scrape into Mensa - though I'm not sure if that's US Mensa or Irish Mensa :)

jefhatfield

Sep 28, 2003, 10:40 PM

Originally posted by whooley
This whole thread has me fascinated. In my finals in secondary school (high school equivalent), I got 2 A's, 5 B's, and 2 C's and was absolutely thrilled, it got me into any of the university courses I was aiming at. 5 A's and 1 C over here would be absolutely exceptional!

I could also point out, the Comp. Science degree I studied had a 60% failure rate in the first year alone - so obviously it's just in tough in university (and yes, I was in that 60%..) Are US students more studious, or are they graded easier?

Mike.

p.s. And just in case anyone thinks I'm a thicko, I've an IQ of 140 so would just about scrape into Mensa - though I'm not sure if that's US Mensa or Irish Mensa :)

being in high tech and having been a silicon valley dot.com VP and now just an engineer, i can tell you that a lot of people drop out of the CS field because the CS field dropped off the map...well, almost:p

RobVanDam

Sep 28, 2003, 10:52 PM

Uber, just do good on your ACT's/SAT's in 2 years and keep a GPA like you have and you'll be fine.

Colleges are starting to look less and less at GPA and more at how you got to that GPA. Many high schools have classes that are just laughable. Most of those same high schools offer AP classes. If you take about every AP class you can take and get a 3.6 cumulative and someone else has a 4.0 cumulative but has zero AP classes, you would be more likely to be accepted.

I remember a case where one girl had a 4.0 cumulative GPA and scored an 18 on her ACT. I think she had to go to tech school.

revenuee

Sep 29, 2003, 12:00 AM

Sorry about this again

but

AP classes, would these be know as Advanced level courses?

and second questions is about the Computer Science feild comment.

why is it that its "dropping of the map" is it that, there are so many people in it that the market is saturated with professionals.

job

Sep 29, 2003, 12:03 AM

Originally posted by RobVanDam
Colleges are starting to look less and less at GPA and more at how you got to that GPA. Many high schools have classes that are just laughable. Most of those same high schools offer AP classes. If you take about every AP class you can take and get a 3.6 cumulative and someone else has a 4.0 cumulative but has zero AP classes, you would be more likely to be accepted.

The grade inflation is really bad at my school. My class (seniors) still runs on the 4.0 scale, which is fine unless someone cheats the system by taking blow-off classes to pad their GPA. For instance, there is someone at my school with a 4.0 taking floral design, interior design, office aid, and early release. Compare that person to someone who works hard in A.P. classes and winds up with a 3.9. Not cool.

Thankfully I've worked hard enough so I've kept my 4.0 with 10 A.P. classes since 10th grade (pre-10th grade i had taken 3 A.P. classes.)

Now the class below me (juniors) use the 6.0, modified scale. I.E. if someone has an A in an A.P. class, it counts as a '6' towards their GPA. The main problem I have with this scale is that while it may solve the problem of slackers manipulating the system, it still isn't fair to those who can't take all A.P. classes and thus can't achieve the maximum GPA of a 6.0. Thus, in a hypothetical situation, someone could have all A's in 3 A.P. classes and an A in an honors course. The A in the honors course would pull their GPA down, since it would not count higher than a 5. Not cool for those who can't or don't want to take all A.P.'s. How are they going to be able to make it into the top 10%?

tpjunkie

Sep 29, 2003, 12:04 AM

Well, I assume your high school doesn't have weighted grades (mine did, and in addition if you played a varsity sport you could opt out of gym and pick up an AP class...our valedictorian had a 4.7 GPA (and that was because the computer capped it at 4.7) but the point is that a 4.0 GPA would put you in the top 25% of the class --thats what I graduated with)

Über, your parents seem quite unreasonable. I'm sure you have probably tried this, but sit down with one or both of them, and ask them why they would consider doing the horrible things you mentioned because of something as insignificant as a grade, particularly one as aberrant as that C seems to be. Listen to what they tell you. If, as you seem to indicate they tell you all sorts of BS reasons that you feel are unreasonable or whatever, definitely get in contact with your guidance counselor, and have your parents come in. it sounds like they need to be given some perspective, and if they won't hear it from you (I am so used to my parents refusing hear reason from me that I can empathize with you here), another adult may help, especially one who works with students. If that doesn't work you could try to find a social worker, i guess.

job

Sep 29, 2003, 12:09 AM

Originally posted by revenuee
AP classes, would these be know as Advanced level courses?

Yes. Some high schools offer Advanced Placement courses. These are essentially entry level college courses. Students often earn credit hours towards college if they pass a national exam (in early/mid May) based on the course material.

The grades are as follows:

5 - extremely well qualified (excellent)
4 - well qualified (good)
3 - qualified (passing)
2 - possibly qualified (inadequate)
1 - no recommendation (fail)

Different colleges reward different credit hours based on the exams taken and the grades received.

job

Sep 29, 2003, 12:13 AM

Originally posted by tpjunkie
Well, I assume your high school doesn't have weighted grades (mine did, and in addition if you played a varsity sport you could opt out of gym and pick up an AP class...our valedictorian had a 4.7 GPA (and that was because the computer capped it at 4.7) but the point is that a 4.0 GPA would put you in the top 25% of the class --thats what I graduated with)

It's interesting you should mention valedictorian...

My school has abolished the position/award/etc because it caused too much conflict and strife, both in- and outside of school. Parents infighting, etc. You get the idea. Now we "nominate" and "elect" several different graduation speakers. And there has to be a male and a female speaker.

I think my school is scared of a lawsuit...

I don't think my class has a weighted GPA. I'm still not too clear as to how the class of 2005's GPA works. It might be weighted, I'm not sure.

e-coli

Sep 29, 2003, 12:26 AM

revenuee

Sep 29, 2003, 12:37 AM

Originally posted by job
Yes. Some high schools offer Advanced Placement courses. These are essentially entry level college courses. Students often earn credit hours towards college if they pass a national exam (in early/mid May) based on the course material.

The grades are as follows:

5 - extremely well qualified (excellent)
4 - well qualified (good)
3 - qualified (passing)
2 - possibly qualified (inadequate)
1 - no recommendation (fail)

Different colleges reward different credit hours based on the exams taken and the grades received.

Thats what i thought. My highschool had the same thing (Ontario Canada)

Advanced, General, and Basic courses

Basic were for people that were training as apprentices in the trades, these were relatively remedial, and were only offered to students with special requests.

General courses were for those interested in going into a 2 year college program for some sort of trade.

Advanced were for people interested in going into 4 year university program,
But were also required to return for 5 year called OAC (Ontario Academic Credit)

these courses were designed to prepare students entering university. The courses were more specific, and simular to those of university.

Depending on what program you wanted to enter in university you had to take certain courses as defined by the program requirements

Ie.. Bachelor of Science required, OAC - Chemestry, One of Physics or Biology, Calculus, One of Finite or Algebra, plus an additional 2 courses of your choice

I think i mentioned this, Bachelor of Science stop requireing English because they know that people good in science or maths are not always the greatest writers, nor do they care or need to be.

Your Percentage mark was averaged from your 6 that you chose to submit and your acceptance was determined that way.

As far as a weighted average, IF you took Advanced level courses in your 4th year in highschool versus someone that took general level courses, your average was boosted 10 % if appling to a 2 year college program

ie. If someone had a 80 % in general courses, and i had a 75 % in advanced, it would be like i am applying with a 85%

further if you had OAC, your average was boosted 15 % if entering a 2 Year program, meaning that a 75 % was treated like a 90 %

many of my friends ended up doing this.

Much of this has changed in the last year. i Was the last class to have the 5th Year of Highschool

now it is a 4 year highschool program just like everywhere else in the world, Exept as my younger freinds parents say, The new system is "****ED"

because kids have to decide very early in highschool what they want to get into in university, so if they change there mind, they are usually stuck with a particular program.

This is within reason, i mean if a person has all the sciences and maths at high marks , and a pretty good english mark, 80% atleast, they will get into just about any program, assuming the other marks are all in the high 80 an 90's

if arts is the way for a person, then a decent english mark is essential, all the others are not as important.

woah this post went kinda long, sorry

Doctor Q

Sep 29, 2003, 02:32 AM

Originally posted by 99paa
...or you can learn to participate in activities and school for the sheer joy of learning and in doing a good job at something you love. You'll be happier in the long run if you take that path.How nice to hear the phrase "joy of learning". It may be a part of one's personality, not something you can acquire, but it sure helps you in school if you enjoy learning more about everything you encounter. Your goals and your school's goals will never coincide entirely, but schools want you to learn, and if you too want to learn, you will.

jefhatfield

Sep 29, 2003, 05:11 AM

Originally posted by e-coli
Just tell them you've always wanted to be a used car salesman. It's your life's dream, and without that soul purpose you'll jump off the roof.

...what? ;)

or you can tell them that you simply want to be a millionaire who drives around in an old ford truck and owns a family restaurant ;)

statistically, by the way, that is the quick profile of the most common self made millionaire in america (that happens not to be born into wealth)

themadchemist

Sep 29, 2003, 02:26 PM

Originally posted by lmalave
Errrr...for someone that has a 3.8 GPA and wants to be a Rhodes Scholar and a neurosurgeon, you need to brush up on your logic skills. I never said that doctors and academics *didn't* need people skills. I said that doctors and academics are the only people to whom grades will really make a difference in their career path. Just draw a Venn diagram or something, dude, you'll see your simple logical error. You'll need it for the MCATs :rolleyes:

Jeez...HARSH. First of all, I need to GET a 3.8 gpa, I'm not there yet. We'll see.

And brush up on YOUR logical skills.

You said:
"If you love learning and you want to be a professional academic or doctor, that's one thing. If you just want to make good money, believe me, no one 10 years down the road will care whether you got a 3.8, a 3.3, or even a 2.8."

You offered the second if-then statement as an alternative to the first. Therefore, you are stating that 10 years down the road, people will care what grades a professional academic or a doctor has achieved. For the academic, you're probably right. For the doctor, you're probably wrong. Your patients--your most important employers as a doctor, esp. in private practice--will NEVER ask you what your grades were. They don't care. They only care that you can interact with them well and do a good job in your career. They're not concerned that you know the reaction mechanism for the alkylation of a ketone.

Furthermore, your whole premise of grades making little difference to your professional career could actually be torn to bits, too, if you think about it.

These days, it is becoming more important for business-oriented people to go to grad school for an MBA. Either that, or for those who plan to work in technical businesses, say a pharmaceutical industry, grad school in science doesn't hurt either.

Thus,

Grades matter grad school.
Going to a good grad school (say Kellogg) gets you a better job.
Therefore, good grades get you a better job.

Same is true for law. Actually, in law, a field where you would think people skills would be extremely important, getting a position in a good law firm requires not only the "who you know factor" but the "what law school did you got to factor."

On the other hand, in medicine, a good med school and a good match will add to your career, no doubt, esp. if you plan to practice at a teaching hopsital, but for private practice, people care much less than do people in a law practice care about your law school.

While my interpretation of your statement may have been different from the statement you made, that is due not to a lack of logical reasoning on my part, but rather to an inherent vagueness in your statement.

Perhaps you should brush up on your rhetorical ability...People skills couldn't hurt either, because your sneering sarcasm when someone politely disagrees with your argument reflects poorly upon yourself.

Go draw a smiley face or something, dude, you'll see your simple human-interactional error. You'll need it for life. :rollseyes:

themadchemist

Sep 29, 2003, 02:32 PM

Originally posted by job
It's interesting you should mention valedictorian...

My school has abolished the position/award/etc because it caused too much conflict and strife, both in- and outside of school. Parents infighting, etc. You get the idea. Now we "nominate" and "elect" several different graduation speakers. And there has to be a male and a female speaker.

I think my school is scared of a lawsuit...

I don't think my class has a weighted GPA. I'm still not too clear as to how the class of 2005's GPA works. It might be weighted, I'm not sure.

I think people better start getting used to conflict, strife, and competition. That's what life is about, unfortunately.

The honor of being valedictorian is a fine one, in my opinion, and I think weighted grades makes the honor more fair. Now we can't have people who take Intro to Breathing classes all the way through high school snatch the honor because they took easy courses.

But maybe my opinion is biased because I was valedictorian. If I had been edged out for it, I may have had a different opinion, right?

lmalave

Sep 29, 2003, 03:19 PM

Originally posted by themadchemist

Grades matter grad school.
Going to a good grad school (say Kellogg) gets you a better job.
Therefore, good grades get you a better job.

Sorry, dude, I just found it a bit grating that you were whining about getting a B+. It's one thing for a high school freshman to complain about her parents being hard on her. But c'mon, you're an adult, you should know by now how the world really works.

Yes, having an impressive degree will give you an advantage when you are interviewing for your first job out of college. I still maintain, though, that the school you go to really doesn't matter in the long run, at least in terms of financial success (and of course that is only one way to measure success). Is there a positive correlation? Of course, but that does necessarily mean there's a causal link. It's simply that the people that were highly motivated to do well in school will also be highly motivated to climb up the corporate ladder, etc. after college.

But in the business world, for example, the bottom line is the only thing that matters. A degree from a top school will get your foot in the door, but after just a few years, your income will depend a lot more on your job performance than wether or not you went to a good school. A degree will give you a bit of a head start, that's all.

In the legal profession, yes, a degree from a top school is a major selling point every time you're marketing yourself to prospective new clients, so it will definitely matter. I'm sure I missed other professions where a degree matters more (architect maybe?). But my main point is that grades, degrees, etc. are not nearly as important to most people as they seem when you're in college.

Frohickey

Sep 29, 2003, 04:44 PM

One of my college professors said.

"A" students go on and become college professors.
"B" students go into industry and become good engineers.
"C" students endow the university. :D

What that means is that the 'C' students end up owning businesses and becoming rich, and giving money to the university.

Besides, English is a highly subjective course of study.

iJon

Sep 29, 2003, 05:13 PM

Originally posted by Frohickey
One of my college professors said.

"A" students go on and become college professors.
"B" students go into industry and become good engineers.
"C" students endow the university. :D

What that means is that the 'C' students end up owning businesses and becoming rich, and giving money to the university.

Besides, English is a highly subjective course of study.
sweeeet, looks good for me, haha. i really dont know what to think of college. what i have learned during my high school years is that the stuff i am really good at is not taught in school (or at least well at my school). From growing up around my parents, i havel learned how to run a business on my own at age 17. when they go out of town i do everything, i contact apple and work things out, i contact customers, put through orders, handle server, all that good stuff. also my mac skills and video editing and deisng and troubleshooting and that stuff i have learned on my own just from experience. if i take over my parents business i dont need a degree to take that place over. my mom got a degree and she learned how to start her own business. being around them was like free college training.

iJon

revenuee

Sep 29, 2003, 06:29 PM

Originally posted by iJon
sweeeet, looks good for me, haha. i really dont know what to think of college. what i have learned during my high school years is that the stuff i am really good at is not taught in school (or at least well at my school). From growing up around my parents, i havel learned how to run a business on my own at age 17. when they go out of town i do everything, i contact apple and work things out, i contact customers, put through orders, handle server, all that good stuff. also my mac skills and video editing and deisng and troubleshooting and that stuff i have learned on my own just from experience. if i take over my parents business i dont need a degree to take that place over. my mom got a degree and she learned how to start her own business. being around them was like free college training.

iJon

Don't treat college as a means to an end

meaning that don't think of going to college so that you can get a job later. College is a place to learn to think, gain perspective, meet new people, maybe gain a little direction. Getting a Bachelors doesn't garantee you success. To use a terrible cliché; Bill Gates dropped out of college and he's doing better then anyone else. If you think you can do well in life without that college degree, go right ahead, I'm in college because my life lacks direction, i hope i can gain some while i'm here. (plus the beer and fornication... LOL j/k):D

i also had proffessor that said that the world is ruled by C students. :cool:

iJon

Sep 29, 2003, 06:37 PM

Originally posted by revenuee
Don't treat college as a means to an end

meaning that don't think of going to college so that you can get a job later. College is a place to learn to think, gain perspective, meet new people, maybe gain a little direction. Getting a Bachelors doesn't garantee you success. To use a terrible cliché; Bill Gates dropped out of college and he's doing better then anyone else. If you think you can do well in life without that college degree, go right ahead, I'm in college because my life lacks direction, i hope i can gain some while i'm here. (plus the beer and fornication... LOL j/k):D

i also had proffessor that said that the world is ruled by C students. :cool:
oh by all means i am going to college and i need it. i dont think that if i dont go ill do successful. im going to business school to futher make the business better if i do decide to take it over

iJon

jefhatfield

Sep 29, 2003, 06:44 PM

ronald reagan was a mediocre student at best in college....i heard about a C+...and he did quite well

but our current president...well, what comes after "F";) :p

revenuee

Sep 29, 2003, 06:46 PM

Originally posted by iJon
oh by all means i am going to college and i need it. i dont think that if i dont go ill do successful. im going to business school to futher make the business better if i do decide to take it over

iJon

Thats cool,

My mom has a Business Degree aswell, i'm currently in first year working on an Arts Degree, but i'm getting the suddle hints that my mom wants me to switch and go into business next year. Personally i'm more intersted in getting an MBA then having a bacholors in business, i'de rather work toward a BA because i like to subjects more, and they are much more things that i want to learn about right now. But if business school is your thing, by all means.

LOL... this isn't an attack on business students in anyway, but one thing i noticed from all my friends that are working towards their business degree, is that they have this preconcived notion that they are going to be everybodies bosses.... just thought it was funny to point out thats all...

iJon

Sep 29, 2003, 06:50 PM

haha, i do plan on being someones boss, i already have my foot in the door. my mom just has to open it all the way and hand me the keys.

iJon

revenuee

Sep 29, 2003, 06:58 PM

Originally posted by iJon
haha, i do plan on being someones boss, i already have my foot in the door. my mom just has to open it all the way and hand me the keys.

iJon

Then you are perfect for business school... haha

In your case it's different, you've gotta business where your more then likally be in.

My comment is directed towards this idea that a lot of my friends have. They seem to think that just because they'll have this "magical" business degree, that every company wll be killing themselves to make them all CEO's straight out of school... not to many are expecting the harsh reality of cubical work and paying thier dews ... LOL

jefhatfield

Sep 29, 2003, 07:08 PM

Originally posted by revenuee
Thats cool,

My mom has a Business Degree aswell, i'm currently in first year working on an Arts Degree, but i'm getting the suddle hints that my mom wants me to switch and go into business next year. Personally i'm more intersted in getting an MBA then having a bacholors in business, i'de rather work toward a BA because i like to subjects more, and they are much more things that i want to learn about right now. But if business school is your thing, by all means.

LOL... this isn't an attack on business students in anyway, but one thing i noticed from all my friends that are working towards their business degree, is that they have this preconcived notion that they are going to be everybodies bosses.... just thought it was funny to point out thats all...

there is almost no point in an mba if you have your ba in business...that is unless you get accepted to a wharton or a harvard where the MAIN goal is not business theory from textbooks, but connections and great internships and first jobs...or should i say, first "real" good job since the average mba has five to ten years work experience after their bachelor's degree

one can go for their mba straight out of undergrad school, but that defeats the purpose of the harvard case study, which calls upon your work experience in order to make a good paper/research...and the harvard case study method of graduate business school is usually the showcase of one's mba education

themadchemist

Sep 29, 2003, 07:22 PM

Originally posted by lmalave
Sorry, dude, I just found it a bit grating that you were whining about getting a B+. It's one thing for a high school freshman to complain about her parents being hard on her. But c'mon, you're an adult, you should know by now how the world really works.

Yes, having an impressive degree will give you an advantage when you are interviewing for your first job out of college. I still maintain, though, that the school you go to really doesn't matter in the long run, at least in terms of financial success (and of course that is only one way to measure success). Is there a positive correlation? Of course, but that does necessarily mean there's a causal link. It's simply that the people that were highly motivated to do well in school will also be highly motivated to climb up the corporate ladder, etc. after college.

But in the business world, for example, the bottom line is the only thing that matters. A degree from a top school will get your foot in the door, but after just a few years, your income will depend a lot more on your job performance than wether or not you went to a good school. A degree will give you a bit of a head start, that's all.

In the legal profession, yes, a degree from a top school is a major selling point every time you're marketing yourself to prospective new clients, so it will definitely matter. I'm sure I missed other professions where a degree matters more (architect maybe?). But my main point is that grades, degrees, etc. are not nearly as important to most people as they seem when you're in college.

Alas, you missed my point...My point wasn't to complain about a B+. My point was that things happen and that in the real world, nobody really cares about the circumstances under which those things happen. Her parents are saying that in the long run, her grades will outlast the knowledge that she gains from a Freshman English class in the minds of those around her. Making excuses, therefore, is unproductive, and understanding he parents' extremely pragmatic point of view is useful.

On the other hand, I think it would have been more productive for you to have addressed the issue you mentioned above so that I could offer the clarification that I did instead of issuing criticism with an uncalled-for lack of civility on an unrelated matter.

And your point is still valid. Perhaps the whole argument is really moot. As you could tell from my conflicting posts, I'm of two minds on the matter. You have hit on it in your post, I think. There is definitely a mix, and while high grades and a high-ranked university help, personal abilities and present accomplishments are most likely more important in most situations.

As is true of any statement, personal experience and experience from situation to situation will vary. If you're talking to a fellow alum from Yale, that shared experience will probably dictate your (most likely positive) relationship. On the other hand, if you're a Yale graduate who fails at an oil business, you'll most likely find yourself as President of the United States...Provided that your father had the job.

See my point? Nepotism, family connections, university, grades, personality, luck, they're all factors, and each one is a predominate factor in at least one major situation in a person's life.

So what are you gonna do? Do the best you can with what you can affect, make the best of what you can't.

janey

Sep 29, 2003, 08:43 PM

okay first of all this is a very small world. all my friends from middle school, and some even from elementary school are still here with me in high school since there are only 3 elementary schools and one middle school and high school in the LAUSD for highly gifted kids.
hehe i was about to join the mensa thing until i realized it was a somewhat pointless and dumb idea. i actually qualify too, with an IQ that's REALLY over 143 which i believe is their mimimum :D still cool to realize that even meeting the minimum requirements for the mensa thing is something most people can't achieve.

my parents are korean. i think my dad's over 50, but my mom's in her mid 40's. They got started later than usual
and i meant "crappy UC schools" as in like the UC schools that aren't *that* great. cant think of any off the top of my head, but compared to other universities, they're really good.
oh AP classes. I cant wait. I'm already trying to convince the AP coordinator into letting me take the AP Compsci AB exam. If you take all AP classes instead of honors in 10th grade, you end up taking like 13+ AP classes eventually, not counting any where you're gonna take the exam but not the class.
I dont understand why so many people obsess over being valedictorian. at my middle school last year the valedictorian was this biatch who went to the teachers crying for an A, who sucked up to everyone, who didn't learn s**t, who was rude...among other things...
and she got it, over many other people who were just as qualified, if not more.

eh i should work on my math homework. one class where the teacher gives you he grade you deserve, regardless of homework/test scores. ;)

iJon

Sep 29, 2003, 08:45 PM

Originally posted by übergeek
okay first of all this is a very small world. all my friends from middle school, and some even from elementary school are still here with me in high school since there are only 3 elementary schools and one middle school and high school in the LAUSD for highly gifted kids.
hehe i was about to join the mensa thing until i realized it was a somewhat pointless and dumb idea. i actually qualify too, with an IQ that's REALLY over 143 which i believe is their mimimum :D still cool to realize that even meeting the minimum requirements for the mensa thing is something most people can't achieve.

my parents are korean. i think my dad's over 50, but my mom's in her mid 40's. They got started later than usual
and i meant "crappy UC schools" as in like the UC schools that aren't *that* great. cant think of any off the top of my head, but compared to other universities, they're really good.
oh AP classes. I cant wait. I'm already trying to convince the AP coordinator into letting me take the AP Compsci AB exam. If you take all AP classes instead of honors in 10th grade, you end up taking like 13+ AP classes eventually, not counting any where you're gonna take the exam but not the class.
I dont understand why so many people obsess over being valedictorian. at my middle school last year the valedictorian was this biatch who went to the teachers crying for an A, who sucked up to everyone, who didn't learn s**t, who was rude...among other things...
and she got it, over many other people who were just as qualified, if not more.

eh i should work on my math homework. one class where the teacher gives you he grade you deserve, regardless of homework/test scores. ;) hey there is nothing wrong with sucking up to people. i do it to teachers all the time. sometimes you gotta suck up to the right people to get yourself to the point where people are sucking up to you.

iJon

tpjunkie

Sep 29, 2003, 08:59 PM

heh, good to see Über's back in the thread she started

Doctor Q

Sep 29, 2003, 09:02 PM

On valedictorians...

My mom was valedictorian of her high school class. Best student, check. Best grades, check. Gave a speech, check. Added to resume, I don't think so.

These days, there's sometimes fierce competition to get that status symbol. So we should just define valedictorian differently: it's the "person who can outmaneuver others to get the best GPA." There are pros and cons to having that talent. Let's just make it explicit.

janey

Sep 29, 2003, 09:56 PM

Originally posted by tpjunkie
heh, good to see Über's back in the thread she started
lol you guys write a lot. i was away for a day and a half and already the thread's doubled :p

revenuee

Sep 29, 2003, 10:07 PM

Originally posted by übergeek
lol you guys write a lot. i was away for a day and a half and already the thread's doubled :p

Everybodies got an opinion when it comes to marks and highschool. We all went through it.

musicpyrite

Apr 20, 2004, 02:36 PM

Anybody notice that übergeek hasn't been participating in this thread for two days? Maybe her parents shipped her off to Siberia. :(

I was maby thinking back to China/Japan?

Or she just got her computer taken away.

shadowfax

Apr 20, 2004, 03:04 PM

I was maby thinking back to China/Japan?

Or she just got her computer taken away.or maybe she just got bored like everyone else...

kevin49093

Apr 20, 2004, 03:05 PM

Tell them you have a new boyfriend, are pregnant, and will be dropping out of school because of your addiction to hard drugs that you have been hiding from them for so long. After the freak out, tell them you are kidding and that you didn't do so well on one test in school.

I think parents all to often forget that every little thing in high school really doesn't affect the rest of your life. If you get b's through high school, you will still be able to get in to a pretty good school. Heck I even failed a whole class (long story!), and I was able to go on and become a successful teacher, husband, father, and person.

Have you had your teacher talk to your folks? I'm sure your teachers could reassure them that it's not the end of the world.

musicpyrite

Apr 20, 2004, 03:24 PM

Tell them you have a new boyfriend, are pregnant, and will be dropping out of school because of your addiction to hard drugs that you have been hiding from them for so long. After the freak out, tell them you are kidding and that you didn't do so well on one test in school.

If I told my parents that (except the part about being pregnant) they would freak;they would take all my stuff, pile it in the front yard and have a bonfire. Then they would kill me and give my college funds to my sister.

From the things that übergeek has said about her parents, I'm thinking they would do someting along the lines of that.

latergator116

Apr 20, 2004, 03:31 PM

I got one A. three B's, one C+, and one D. That is about the best I can do. :(
(the D is in latin and the A is in math)

vouder17

Apr 20, 2004, 03:46 PM

Oh no 5 A's and one C. Look i have been there and still getting through it, but i have learnt something that your parents are pissed off for a while, just don't do anything stupid, and be a good girl. Well i often get C's for english but my parents don't really care about my english, they care more about my sciences, so i need to hook up in those subjects. But if you do a course like IB then you will be happy to just pass a test!!!

But anyway that is some advice from a guy with plenty of experience in that area.

vniow

Apr 20, 2004, 03:52 PM

Gaa, I hate it when members bring back 6 month old threads for no good reason...

parrothead

Apr 20, 2004, 04:10 PM

Five A's and one C? How can you go on? Your life is ruined, so why not quit now? Wal-Mart needs some more Associates. Seriously, if one C this early upsets you and your family so much, try to snag some Dr. Phil tickets, 'cause you all be needin' help. Buck up, make the C an A. If you don't make it, try again, but don't over-react. You'd be surprised what stress can do to even the youngest.

YES try getting Dr. Phil to take your case. He would totally flame your parents for acting like that.

Sun Baked

Apr 20, 2004, 04:14 PM

YES try getting Dr. Phil to take your case. He would totally flame your parents for acting like that.Such timely advice...

Almost as helpful as having the fire department show up 10 days after the house has burned down.

parrothead

Apr 20, 2004, 04:23 PM

Such timely advice...

Almost as helpful as having the fire department show up 10 days after the house has burned down.

Is it? How about the next time she gets grades that arent up to her parents expectations. Why didnt you quote the first person who said that? And if you have all the answers why don't you let us know instead of insulting someone that was trying to help.

Sun Baked

Apr 20, 2004, 04:32 PM

Is it? How about the next time she gets grades that arent up to her parents expectations. Why didnt you quote the first person who said that? And if you have all the answers why don't you let us know instead of insulting someone that was trying to help.Why don't you look at the date this was first posted --> 09-26-2003, 09:50 PM

Getting Dr. Phil to flame the parents six months later, is as bad as beating a drunk midget years after they left the greasy fingerprints on your fine linens.

parrothead

Apr 20, 2004, 04:43 PM

Why don't you look at the date this was first posted --> 09-26-2003, 09:50 PM

Getting Dr. Phil to flame the parents six months later, is as bad as beating a drunk midget years after they left the greasy fingerprints on your fine linens.

You missed my point. I said NEXT TIME she gets her grades. If her parents go on this way about some grades that really are not all that bad, then it is a sure bet they are unreasonable about other things. Getting outside help from Dr. Phil or from someone else is a valid piece of advice.

vouder17

Apr 20, 2004, 04:51 PM

my parents are korean.

That explains ALOT, my best friend is Korean, and when he gets a C or something like that he almost S**t's himself. I always ask him why are you sooo scared , and he says you won't understand cos i am not korean. My friend is also weak in English but he can't help it it isn't his home language(i quess it is the same for you, it's a good defence point).
But i think i have a rough idea of what you are going through. But I still say that you should keep it cool for the next few weeks; do your homework etc. It helps i promise.
And speaking of homework i really need to do some work, @!#& :mad:

Neserk

Apr 20, 2004, 05:09 PM

Can we say "over-reaction"?

One can only be a slave to a piece of paper with a bunch of letters up to a certain point.

Yup. As a teacher I feel great pain when giving out grades. 99% of the time it is subjective rather to give a student and A or B, C or D, B or C, etc. depending on the student. Even in Math where answers are right or wrong it isn't easy because I had students who had demonstrated they understood the material but were unable to perform on an actual test. Talk about frustraing. IMO grade come with a margin of error of at least 1/2 a grade, depending on the subject and the students test taking abilities.

Instead of grading we should be seeking rather or not a student has mastered a given topic area. You either mastered it, still need to work some one it, or didn't master it.

Ajmbc

Apr 20, 2004, 05:11 PM

ahem, sorry? 110%?! how on earth do you get that? how can you score more than the maximum? mathematics gone mad i think.

i think you guys must have very different systems of percentages in education, as i got 69.8% in my degree (Psychology) and got first class honours, whereas you get 90% and you think that's bad? weird. the highest amount i ever got (and we're talking essay subjects here, not tick and cross answers) was 85%, which i was blown away by, people wouldn't believe me i got so high.

no wonder they say everything's bigger in america!

Improper fractions. :D

Bonus work can give you 110 out of 100 points possible, thus a 110% score of 100.

Uber:
Tell your parents that it was one bad test- one bad day that you had that you screwed up on- and that your other tests prove that you obviously know the material.

I would talk to your counselor- definitely. They can help you alot- and make you feel alot better.

Hope everything goes good
aj

Neserk

Apr 20, 2004, 05:12 PM

YES try getting Dr. Phil to take your case. He would totally flame your parents for acting like that.

I think Dr. Phil absolutely needs to do a show on parent's overreacting to grades. A's & B's are fine. An occasional C is fine too. Straight C's are fine in some circumstances. For some kids all C's is great.. depends on the student...

iJon

Apr 20, 2004, 05:33 PM

any reason why we revived this thread?

iJon

vouder17

Apr 20, 2004, 06:51 PM

any reason why we revived this thread?

iJon

:eek: Damn i didn't realise, i just saw it in the community forum. hahaha. I thought it was new.

Well i hope every'ting is cool seven months down the line.

acidrock

Apr 20, 2004, 08:08 PM

hey I totally know where you're coming from, I think you're parents are stricter than mine. I"m totally sorry you so concerned about getting one low grade, they should appreciate the fact that you earned 5 A's! My dad put so much pressure on me that I started to have depression and i felt like all he cared about was my grades. I actually ended up going through a really hard time at school and ended up having to drop out. He would do things like push my bill in my face when I came home for christmas, which he did this last christmas. When I went back to school after dropping out for several years I decided to go somewhere where he couldn't put pressure on me, so where was that? Well Evergreen! They don't have grades here and now I'm also a lot less stressed out from the competition of the grade schools. It also helps not having my father breathing down my neck only caring about A's. I hope everything works out for you but really to have your parents get worked up about one C is something. It may help to understand that they probably just want you to get to go to a good uni., if you now what i mean.

janey

Apr 20, 2004, 09:49 PM

hehe. itsback! :(

my latest GPA: 3.833 soon to be a 4.0 :) (had one B on the last one, but thats up to a 92%). Yeah my parents were nuts about that one B though, threatening to cancel my trip to europe next year, splurging my college money on a nice vacation, sending me to another school (yeah noho sucks ass, but its still one of the best in this area), making sure i dont do this, i dont do that, blah blah. I told them it wont work if they do that because then they're not going to see another report card ever again, or me, so they cooled it a little. also threatened to call the department of family and child services, bah.
High school still sucks though. Occasionally i get mad, feel suicidal, feel like killing my parents, running away...but eh, i'm just waiting for the day i graduate, because i'm planning on moving out the week following graduation.

btw, i thought this thread was from like last year...why was it brought back>?!

applemacdude

Apr 20, 2004, 10:08 PM

King Cobra

Apr 20, 2004, 10:12 PM

Going for the 4.0, huh? I'm trying to do that this college semester. My confidence comes down to the result of an overly rigourous macroeconomics test I had earlier today.

Heh, same stressful feelings here, on and off, but I don't think that such tension would be caused from trying to get such high grades. The way I see it (which depends with each person): Such tension on grades rather comes from family relationship tensions/stress aside of education. Although the cause of that tension can become released stressed during "crunch time," i.e., nearing the end of the 2003-2004 year (or college semester). But the cause of the initial stress depends on each person, which is why I leave that part of a potential philosophical debate open.

So, with that in mind...

High school still sucks though.

Explanation being...?

janey

Apr 20, 2004, 10:38 PM

Explanation being...?
Okay, maybe I should be specific. I meant specifically my high school.
It's overrated, the teachers are not that great, the classes are just as bad, the counselor is eh, the coordinator is dreamy, the administrators in general can care less, blah blah blah.
Everyone is focused on getting the best possible GPA, getting 5s on all their APs (a lot of the people take 4-6 APs in [possibly sophomore] junior and senior years), getting a 1600/2400 on the SAT I, sucking up to teachers, finding new ways to cheat. Its horrid. I thought school was for learning, not cramming and forgetting and cheating.
Like for example, I haven't learned a single thing in my honors english class yet from the teacher. Only time I learned something was on the major winter break project (on soren kierkegaard), which was absolutely cool, because I could do things at my own pace, learn what I want when I want, which all adds up to me actually learning more than I would normally learn if my teacher had taught it to me. And I do believe I have learned more about philosophy in less than 10 weeks by myself than in an entire 16 week semester wiht my teacher. And for math, its like you either learn at the pace the teacher's going at or you don't learn at all. And the language class is absolutely nuts, I cant honestly say that I have learned more French or Spanish yet. History is bleh, at least we're doing something. PE and Art History are okay, so I can't bitch about those two classes.

Neserk

Apr 20, 2004, 10:38 PM

janey

Apr 20, 2004, 10:41 PM

You are in HIGHSCHOOL and your parents are freaking out?!?!?! Geesh, in the real world no one gives a damn about the grades you got in HIGHSCHOOL. So long as you pass, get into college, pass there...
yes i know, but my parents argument is that the best college I'll get into with grades that "low" is some crappy community college. ( i mean like a real crappy one, not a decent one like SMC)
and meh, i know nobody cares, but I'd like to keep my sanity and my life.

jefhatfield

Apr 20, 2004, 10:48 PM

You are in HIGHSCHOOL and your parents are freaking out?!?!?! Geesh, in the real world no one gives a damn about the grades you got in HIGHSCHOOL. So long as you pass, get into college, pass there...

and when in college, much more is seen in someone who finishes vs. what gpa they graduated with

i see people with "so and so university, alumni" on t shirts and sweatshirts, but not one that says, "so and so university, honor roll or dean's list alumni" ;) ...now that would look incredibly stupid

King Cobra

Apr 20, 2004, 10:50 PM

Okay, maybe I should be specific. I meant specifically my high school.
It's overrated, the teachers are not that great, the classes are just as bad, the counselor is eh, the coordinator is dreamy, the administrators in general can care less...I thought school was for learning, not cramming and forgetting and cheating.

Ouch. Doesn't sound like you're alone, though. I've read stories elsewhere (I forget where, though) about something similar with [some] teenagers trying to be only showoffs at places even outside of H.S., etc., and that influences the administration there.

You are in HIGHSCHOOL and your parents are freaking out?!?!?! Geesh, in the real world...

So you're saying that attending H.S. before college and having to deal with parental stress isn't part of the real world?

...no one gives a damn about the grades you got in HIGHSCHOOL.

Well if that's part of the real world, then explain how academic scholarships are awarded for students that start out with lots of B's and C's because of parental stress issues, then overcome them and improve their grades to honor roll (or higher) before they get to college.

Look, I don't want to come off sounding like a damn prick, but I think that your tone suggests that you don't care about people's grades in H.S....which makes me wonder why you bothered to post that short rant in the first place. http://www.thetechpub.com/phpBB2/images/smiles/icon_confused.gif

wdlove

Apr 20, 2004, 11:02 PM

hehe. itsback! :(

High school still sucks though. Occasionally i get mad, feel suicidal, feel like killing my parents, running away...but eh, I'm just waiting for the day i graduate, because I'm planning on moving out the week following graduation.

btw, i thought this thread was from like last year...why was it brought back>?!

I really happy to hear about your latest grades übergeek. If you were my child I would be very proud.

I pray that you aren't really serious about the suicide comment. It concerns me greatly when anyone mentions suicide. With your suicidal thoughts do you make any plans? This is only out of my concern for your safety. It is important that you take care of yourself, you have your whole life ahead of you. I do care. ;)

applemacdude

Apr 20, 2004, 11:09 PM

Edit....Not revelant

tpjunkie

Apr 20, 2004, 11:24 PM

Über, I hope that your parents ease up on you somewhat by the time you enter college, because a lot of college isn't what you learn in the classroom, its also about what you learn when you have this incredible amount of freedom to do well, or fail miserably, or have a great time, or a crappy time. If grades are all that you are able to focus on, you may miss out on that.

amin

Apr 21, 2004, 12:05 AM

That explains ALOT, my best friend is Korean, and when he gets a C or something like that he almost S**t's himself. I always ask him why are you sooo scared , and he says you won't understand cos i am not korean. My friend is also weak in English but he can't help it it isn't his home language(i quess it is the same for you, it's a good defence point).
But i think i have a rough idea of what you are going through. But I still say that you should keep it cool for the next few weeks; do your homework etc. It helps i promise.
And speaking of homework i really need to do some work, @!#& :mad:
For the record, not all Korean parents are like this. My mother is from Korea, was the only woman in her medical school, graduated first in her medical school class (ahead of about 100 dudes) and never once in my life put pressure on me to get good grades. Both of my wife's parents are from Korea, and never put excessive pressure on their children to get good grades. Still, having gone to "camps" for kids who qualify for summer sessions by taking the SATs in 6th grade, I knew many children whose parents put undue pressure on them to overachieve. Many of these kids had attempted suicide in the past. I believe that I was one of the few who really wanted to be in such summer programs. One thing I can tell you is that the types of parents who freak out about one bad test are the same ones who would never ever ever follow through on a threat to pull you out of the "good school." They are far too concerned about you going to Harvard. Anyway, uber, step back and take a deep breath. You will obviously be accepted into a good college, if you haven't already been so. More likely your challenge will be to not go absolutely buckwild in college. Again I speak from experience. I had a 1.6 GPA my third year of college :eek:. I had fake grades sent to my parents who definitely, appropriately, would have yanked my ass out of school if they had known what I was doing with their money while they were paying for my education. Despite all that, I'm doing okay, now halfway through with my medicine residency at Hopkins. Hard to believe that one of the most conservative institutions around was willing to overlook a college record that shady, but hopefully knowing that they were willing to do so helps put an occasional non-"A" grade into perspective.

Btw, I'm not trying to dis your folks. I'm confident they care a great deal about you, despite the negative things you've mentioned about them in this thread (of which, btw, I've read only the first and last pages). I'd feel much worse for you if they didn't give a damn about your school at all. You'll haver plenty of time to make up for undue pressure by having healthy expectations of your own kids someday, that is, if you plan to have kids someday. Btw, here are a couple pics of my son in traditional Korean attire for his first birthday party. He turned one 5 days ago. I've been putting a lot of pressure on him lately to say "da da da." I figure that since he can fairly well say "Elmo balloon," it's about time he learn my name :). If he doesn't learn it by next month, I'm going to pull him out of school :rolleyes:.

acidrock

Apr 21, 2004, 12:10 AM

MrMacMan

Apr 21, 2004, 01:24 AM

Gaa, I hate it when members bring back 6 month old threads for no good reason...
I concur.

High school still sucks though. Occasionally i get mad, feel suicidal, feel like killing my parents, running away...but eh, i'm just waiting for the day i graduate, because i'm planning on moving out the week following graduation.

Welcome to the 'teenage' time of your life.

I've gone through this everyday, its a cycle, in about 5 days I'll go through a period where I can write great dark poetry, but in 6 days I'll be lovestruck!

btw, i thought this thread was from like last year...why was it brought back>?!
Mwhaha!

The mystery's of MacRumors work in wonders.

yes i know, but my parents argument is that the best college I'll get into with grades that "low" is some crappy community college. ( i mean like a real crappy one, not a decent one like SMC)
and meh, i know nobody cares, but I'd like to keep my sanity and my life.
I'm not sure who goes to a community college with a A- Average.

Not you. Not anyone. Community Colleges are fine, but they are for kids who really aren't intrested with highschool but parents are still pushing them on.

As for me I hold a 1.3 GPA.

Awesome right?

Neserk

Apr 21, 2004, 02:02 AM

yes i know, but my parents argument is that the best college I'll get into with grades that "low" is some crappy community college. ( i mean like a real crappy one, not a decent one like SMC)
and meh, i know nobody cares, but I'd like to keep my sanity and my life.

Well, at least you realize the truth. There are plenty of good schools you can get into and plenty of good jobs you can get without a 4.0

Doctor Q

Apr 21, 2004, 02:32 AM

Okay, maybe I should be specific. I meant specifically my high school.
It's overrated, the teachers are not that great, the classes are just as bad...I think you have a skewed perspective because you're too intelligent. If you were average or closer to it, you'd be in the target population for NoHo's classes and curriculum and likely to find the teachers and lessons more suitable for your level of work, wouldn't you?

powerbook4me

Apr 21, 2004, 02:38 AM

I'm not sure who goes to a community college with a A- Average.

I did.

Why spend thousands and thousands on basics?

janey

Apr 21, 2004, 02:46 AM

wow. cool pics amin you have a cute son ;)
Anyway, wdlove, don't worry, josh and a whole bunch of other people keep talking me out of it.
Bah.
Should finish homework.

janey

Apr 21, 2004, 02:53 AM

I think you have a skewed perspective because you're too intelligent. If you were average or closer to it, you'd be in the target population for NoHo's classes and curriculum and likely to find the teachers and lessons more suitable for your level of work, wouldn't you?
actually the classes are supposed to be designed for freaks like us...
only thing is that they unsuccessfully try to combine traditional teaching methods and us, and I'm probably not the only one who sees a problem with the way they teach classes.
Meh, look for yourself :p
http://lausd.k12.ca.us/NHHS_Highly_Gifted_Mag

Doctor Q

Apr 21, 2004, 03:03 AM

Meh, look for yourself :p
http://lausd.k12.ca.us/NHHS_Highly_Gifted_MagI've read it before but you are right that I forgot those details. But there's another problem. There isn't one type of giftedness. "Freaks" isn't the word I'd use (I know a lot of highly gifted students), but the idea that each student is unusual in a particular way makes it challenging if not hopeless to provide the right environment for everyone. No doubt they could do better, but a school that suited you wouldn't suit everyone else.

Maybe we should just pick one smart student and clone him/her instead of trying to teach everyone!

janey

Apr 21, 2004, 03:17 AM

I've read it before but you are right that I forgot those details. But there's another problem. There isn't one type of giftedness. "Freaks" isn't the word I'd use (I know a lot of highly gifted students), but the idea that each student is unusual in a particular way makes it challenging if not hopeless to provide the right environment for everyone. No doubt they could do better, but a school that suited you wouldn't suit everyone else.

Maybe we should just pick one smart student and clone him/her instead of trying to teach everyone!
people call gifted people all sorts of things. i know freaks isnt really that great a word to use, but theres just so many different people out there its too impossible to put a single label on such a diverse group.
meh, school is really banal. if i didnt yawn all day long, i'd consider it an okay day, but since i'm half asleep in my first 3 classes, i never consider it a good day.
And i know its hard to provide one environment for several hundred people, but egads, i'm sure they can do a better job than the mess they are just making worse right now.

cjc343

Apr 21, 2004, 03:36 AM

Neserk

Apr 21, 2004, 11:27 AM

I did.

Why spend thousands and thousands on basics?

Educaiton isn't just about the information ;)

ethernet76

Apr 21, 2004, 04:47 PM

Ok, here's what you do.

Get them to talk to your friends parents(assuming they like your friends) and have your parents talk to their parents about grades and such. I'm sure they'll grab a more reasonable approach to the matter.

If this doesn't work, pick up a drug habit when you go to college. Pot is fine, cocaine is better. Guilt them into believing it's all their fault, that way when you actually acheive something (like a degree) they'll be so happy they'll practically throw you a ticker-tape parade.

Cheers.

King Cobra

Apr 21, 2004, 05:17 PM

Let's see...that's, what, the 2nd drug recommendation I've seen all thread?

Look, if family problems persist, then try to think about it like this: So what??? You yell at them, they yell at you, but you're the one getting high grades in college at the moment (right?). Then, on your free time, vent...let all hell break loose. Type up (or write up) whatever it is you need to vent about, sort of like the self-harm rant from 23 or so posts back. (And don't do drugs.)

At least, for me, I think that in the end of such tension, as well as during it, I force myself to remember that I'm the one studying hard to get those high grades, and it helps me from yelling at someone to the point of serious inflictions.

Educaiton isn't just about the information ;)

(To me it is.)

For you, though, "education" might be about everything except how to spell. http://www.thetechpub.com/phpBB2/images/smiles/icon_eek.gif

Neserk

Apr 21, 2004, 05:39 PM

I said: Education isn't just about the information.

You said: (To me it is.)

I say: That is a shame because there is so much more to be gained that information. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts ;)

You said:
For you, though, "education" might be about everything except how to spell.

I say: That was a typo not a spelling error. All the letters are there, two are reversed :rolleyes:

I'm actually an excellent speller.

e-coli

Apr 21, 2004, 05:52 PM

Oh, the irony that appears on these boards sometimes.

;)

Capt Underpants

Apr 21, 2004, 06:47 PM

Oh, the irony that appears on these boards sometimes.

;)

Haha. That is pretty ironic.

King Cobra

Apr 21, 2004, 07:19 PM

Oh, the irony that appears on these boards sometimes.

e-coil gets +1.

That is a shame because there is so much more to be gained that information. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts ;)

I see information as a great start to understanding the whole. As I see it, the more information one has, and the more comprehendable it is to one, the faster one can understand the whole.

(Oh, boy, and out comes my philosophical side, which usually goes "out on a tangent" to the thread topic almost every time.)

I'm actually an excellent speller.

Well, I'm not, so props to you.

sushi

May 18, 2004, 12:05 PM

tell them to kiss your ass, thats what i feel like saying sometimes, but my dad, being from the military scares me and i never say anything.
Wise choice! :D

...especially since I know a little bit about the military.

Sushi

iJon

May 18, 2004, 01:15 PM

Wise choice! :D

...especially since I know a little bit about the military.

Sushi
yay, thread reaper uses me as a quote. actually ive talked back to my dad much more this year, not much but more than i used to, and he has become nicer after my wreck.

iJon

jared_kipe

May 18, 2004, 02:52 PM

I find it so stupid how parents expect A's, A's are supposed to be REALLY good, but when they arn't there, then the child might as well be retarded.

goodwill

May 18, 2004, 03:09 PM

"C's & B's get degrees"

rt_brained

May 18, 2004, 03:40 PM

Start posting old newspaper articles on your bedroom walls about kids who killed their parents.

virividox

May 18, 2004, 04:41 PM

i feel you. my parents are like that, dont care about the As and A+, just get annoyed with that blemish on teh card.

dont worry doesnt really matter in the long run :)

sushi

May 18, 2004, 08:50 PM

"C's & B's get degrees"
Reminds me of something...

What do you call the top graduate of flight school? Pilot

What do you call the bottom graduate of flight school? Pilot.

So they are equal, right?!

Then again, who do you want to be with when the engine quits. I would take the good one.

The point is, when our lives depend on it, we want the best.

Everybody's best is different. Always strive for the best in yourself. You can never go wrong with that approach.

Sushi

iJon

May 18, 2004, 08:54 PM

RThen again, who do you want to be with when the engine quits
the paratrooper, which is why im skydiving next weekend, wheee. good quote though, makes perfect sense and i agree.

iJon

sushi

May 18, 2004, 09:43 PM

the paratrooper, which is why im skydiving next weekend, wheee. good quote though, makes perfect sense and i agree.
Good for you. Jumping is fun! :D

Just remember, if your parachute doesn't work, the fall won't kill you. It's just that sudden stop at the bottom. :eek:

Sorry, a little sick airborne humor!

Good luck on your jump. May the sky be clear blue and twenty two! :D :D :D

Sushi

benguru

May 18, 2004, 11:31 PM

Hi,
I am also in school (8th Grade). I got a D in math, after a notebook test, and a unfair quiz. My parents didn't care, But i was in the math club and we came in 5th place in a math competiton, so I'm not stupid. My point is grades don't reflect intelligence. Tell your parents why you did poorly on the one quiz, they might understand. if they don't, what is the worst that will happen, you get grounded for a while? My whole school is made up of unfair quizs and tests ( See my site about it (http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Benguru)) Your parents will see you got an A in every other subject, and that is good. Also if the quiz was incredibly unfair go to your guidance counselor, and complain, try change your grade. Hope this helps, I can't help much since my parents haven't every gotten mad at me over grades, but I give you my sympathy.

sushi

May 18, 2004, 11:48 PM

Hi,
I am also in school (8th Grade). I got a D in math, after a notebook test, and a unfair quiz. My parents didn't care
Perspective is key here.

One truth about life, is that it isn't fair.

Another truth about life, is that we all see the world through our own eyes based on the experiences that we've had. So no two people will see things the same. In other words, what is unfair to you may be fair to someone else.

I bet that your parents do care. They may not understand the situation, or believe that you are not taking responsibility for doing bad on the quiz. But they do care.

Hang in there! There is always tomorrow. Just take a day at a time.

Sushi

remingtonhill

May 19, 2004, 12:30 AM

Have you considered running away?

The street would never give you a hard time about one bad grade.

The street welcomes anyone.

sushi

May 19, 2004, 01:32 AM

Have you considered running away?

The street would never give you a hard time about one bad grade.

The street welcomes anyone.
That makes a whole lot of sense...NOT!

Running away would be a terrible option. All that does is exchange one set of minor issues in this case for another, usually much worse, set of issues.

Life is not all that bad. Your parents do care. Just got to work through the situation.

You might not like it. But that is all part of growning up. We've all been there. It isn't easy at times. But you can do it!

Sushi

gekko513

May 19, 2004, 07:20 AM

MongoTheGeek

May 19, 2004, 08:55 AM

I think the American grading system sounds ineffective in separating the good students from the medium students if getting an A is normal.

In Norway, A is just for exceptionally good students.

Here's the national average for 10th grade (15 year olds) in Mathematics for 2003
A 2,2%
B 13,8%
C 24,9%
D 29,9%
E 25,3%
F 4,0%

In the US the grades have gone from a sorting of greatness to a measure of competence. For instance on a math test there are problems and they are each worth so many points. 90% right is an A 80% is B and so on. (This varies some, my son had 93% A 86%B etc)

There is also a strong tendency in America to demand perfection or the best. The USDA grades eggs and meat all the way down to D and the stores are allowed to sell C,B,A. Look in the grocery store for eggs other than A.

I don't think that A is normal. I got out of HS with a 3.2 and was in the top fifth.