creative things you have said to telemarketers to stump them

[jefhatfield]

one of my favorite is saying, "did you see my ad?"

this one really throws them...an ad man calling an ad man:p

[Mr. Anderson]

My favorite is from Seinfeld.

telemarketer calls, ask to talk to Jerry. He says he has company right now and that if the telemarketer could leave their home number he'd call them back. They declined, he says 'Exactly' and hangs up....

D

[tazo]

Originally posted by Mr. Anderson
My favorite is from Seinfeld.

telemarketer calls, ask to talk to Jerry. He says he has company right now and that if the telemarketer could leave their home number he'd call them back. They declined, he says 'Exactly' and hangs up....

D

I cannot even remember how many times I have used that :)

What I like to is mess with them tho, listen to their speech, get em up to the point I would order, and then say something like "oh wait, your selling vinyl siding? I thought this was a bad adult sex line. My bad..." *click*
:o

[IJ Reilly]

The best telemarketing retort I ever heard can be used if the salesperson is from a phone company,

"I'm sorry, I don't have a telephone."

[zimv20]

1. i got a call from Peapod (the grocery delivery service) asking me where i did my grocery shopping. i told them i don't do grocery shopping. "what do you do for food?" "i have a vegetable garden and a cow." (it's funnier if you know i live in a city)

2. got a call from the Chicago Suntimes. i put the phone down and went and watched TV for about 10 minutes. when i came back, she had just finished her spiel and asked me a question. "I'm sorry, I put the phone down and watched TV that whole time." she laughed and wished me a good day.

3. (as i mentioned in the other thread) i like asking if they mind if i record the call for quality control and training purposes

[jefhatfield]

omg,

i am peeing in my pants

those retorts are all classic:p

[zimv20]

i've been getting a lot of calls from mortgage companies asking me if i want to refinance. when they announce the company name (such and such mortgage), i immediately "get panicked":

"oh my god, is my payment late?"
"excuse me?"
"i could have sworn i sent it in. maybe a week ago? hold on, let me check"
"no sir, i'm just..."
"i bank online. it's really convenient. except sometimes i forget to make payments. i'm logging in now."
"oh... you bank online?"
"yes! it _really_ cut down on my late payments. i can't BELIEVE i missed this months payment! DAMNIT! i'm so STUPID!"
"no sir, i'm calling...."

after i "allow" him/her to clear up the confusion, i tell them to take me off their call list and hang up.

[Desertrat]

Excellent responses! :D

If I'm in the proper mood, I take advantage of the fact that to them, time is money. So, I start to make it a social conversation. Where are they, how's the weather, "How's your mom'n'em?" and all that.

IJ, I gotta train my wife into that, "But I don't have a phone!", since she's been getting several calls a day from the phone-change crowd...

:), 'Rat

[pseudobrit]

I got a call once from a telemarketer who was looking for my girlfriend (who has unpronouncable Polish first and last names), who was sitting on the couch with me.

I told the lady she died and hung up.

[zimv20]

pbrit, you just reminded me....

once, someone called and offered a vacation for me and my family. so i turned it on (i'm an actor sometimes):

(quickly) "i don't have a family"
"everyone has a family"
(quietly) "oh my god... why can't you people leave me alone?" (start crying)
"what's that, sir?"

i went on to tell her a made-up story of how my wife and two kids were killed in a car crash last year and every other telemarketer who calls wants to sell something to my family. i was quiet, i broke down and wept into the phone. the lady apologized profusely (she herself got pretty quiet) and promised to take me off the call list straightaway.

i found that when i'd hung up, i actually _was_ crying. (how's THAT for method acting? :-)

[IJ Reilly]

Originally posted by Desertrat
IJ, I gotta train my wife into that, "But I don't have a phone!", since she's been getting several calls a day from the phone-change crowd...

Kind of surreal, isn't it? The trick is to wait for the response, which will probably go, "Er, er, er er...."