Parental control of internet access [Archive]

MacRumors:Forum

Feb 12, 2008, 09:40 AM

I bought an iPod Touch for my teenager without doing my due diligence. I thought that internet access was limited and, of course, the entire world is open wherever there is wireless. There have already been issues with him visiting porn sites. I'm not a prude and he's a good kid, but he is 14 and some careless person in the neighborhood has an unsecured wireless.

Does anyone know if I can control access to the internet? There's an easy way to turn off the wireless but it's just as easy to turn it back on. My son is reasonably savvy but he has friends who are crazy hackers, so I need to be able to disable and turn on access in a controlled way or set a password that I can control. Any thoughts? Any rumors about this issue? Thanks.

pismodude2

Feb 12, 2008, 09:53 AM

HeavenlyYeti

Feb 12, 2008, 01:18 PM

quicklook2

Feb 12, 2008, 01:22 PM

.JahJahwarrior.

Feb 12, 2008, 01:40 PM

You can get internet filters....my parents installed the American Family Assocation filter on my computer.

It was annoying. It blocked google searches of words like "adult" "bomb" or "death." What if I wanted to know about adult smoker death rates? No can do, thank you very much AFA filter!

Not that I wanted to know about those....and if you were crafty you could easily find porn that they hadn't blocked. After a while I found a free program that was designed to remove some spyware, but since the AFA filter apparently controlled theinternet similarly to how spyware works, it would disable the program. Whenever the computer was restarted, the program realized it was disabled and reenabled itself, but a few minutes later I'd have it off again.

I grew out of it. I just don't have the same desire to look at porn now, which is ironic, because now on my Mac I don't have a porn filter (that was on a PC).....

The other solution is a program that reports suspicious websites to you, the parent, so you can talk to him about them.

It's really simple: He's a minor, you are an adult. If you set rules, he has to follow them whether hel ikes them or not. If you want to set up rules on the internet, then do it. If he breaks them, take away priveliges. But, you will need to step up your game because your kid is going to find creative ways to break your rules and look at porn if he really wants to, and he'll do it in ways you can't find out about easily. (friend's houses man!) But it would be good of you to try and keep him out of porn, it's nasty stuff really, and you can very very easily be pulled into it, and be unable to stop. It tears apart families and ruins relationships and doesn't promote a healthy view of sexuality, or a realistic view of male/female relations, either in the bed or outside of it.

Good luck!

John.B

Feb 12, 2008, 01:55 PM

teach how to make wise choices and hope that when bad choices are made they do not have a lot of can live with the consequences.:rolleyes:
FTFY. :)

John (father of two)

Cooknn

Feb 12, 2008, 02:17 PM

Check out OpenDNS.com (http://opendns.com/) - All you have to do is plug their DNS servers into your wireless router, enable their adult site blocking (http://www.opendns.com/features/adult/) feature, and all devices in your household (wireless or wired) will get filtered. I use it at my house. I have two boys - a 13 year old and a 17 year old. And well, me. Everyone knows that it's there, so nobody even tries to hit those sites.

quicklook2

Feb 12, 2008, 02:42 PM

i do not think you can filter out content on a touch as easily, if you can at all, as on a computer

BOSS10L

Feb 12, 2008, 03:03 PM

bnizzy

Feb 12, 2008, 03:27 PM

I dont think you can control/monitor sites on the iTouch...

and even if you could, if kids want to find a way to do smth, they will. no matter how hard you try. you can definitely count on that. they dont need to be hackers, normal kids do just fine.

I may not have kids, but I sure remember being one really rebellious one. Its ridiculous to think back to the lengths we used to go to so that we could break rules... and the creativity, OH the creativity...

The ONLY way i personally see it working in any rational and realistic manner, is talking to them. Talking to them not just as an "adult" or "authority figure," but as someone who was once their age too, who understands how it felt to want to do those "bad" things and give into temptation. Talk to them as a friend, not as a lecturer, and who knows, they might actually listen. Really listen.

but what do i know...

i'm sure thats now why you made that posting, you prolly just wanted to see if you could block their web browsing. Sorry for the random rant. just got me thinking, is all.

just my 2 cents.

:D

Unspeaked

Feb 12, 2008, 03:40 PM

Leave the kid alone and be thankful you're not in Europe where he could turn on the television at any given time and see nudity...

;)

Cooknn

Feb 12, 2008, 03:41 PM

I dont think you can control/monitor sites on the iTouch...OpenDNS works with any device that accesses the internet through your router. It doesn't matter if it's a PS3, DS, PSP, iPod, PC or Mac.

mjstew33

Feb 12, 2008, 03:42 PM

OpenDNS.com :)

See if you can't get into your neighbor's wireless... try leaving the user blank and the password "admin" without quotes.

quicklook2

Feb 12, 2008, 03:51 PM

regardless of what you do the kids will figure out a way into whatever they want to get into.

HeavenlyYeti

Feb 12, 2008, 03:56 PM

Honestly, there isn't a whole lot that can be done. It's akin to when we were growing up. My parents didn't allow me to watch R-rated movies, so I just found a friend whose parents did. Mind you, it wasn't very often, and usually, the R-rating was due to swearing and light violence, not nudity.

I'm also a father of two, and I don't mean to rag on the OP, but can someone please explain to me why a 15 year old needs an iPod Touch in the first place?

was that directed to me or the TC's kid?
If you meant me...
I'm into all this tech and my parents are Apple Fanatics.
(Plus, I can watch all my Naruto vids :P )

BlakTornado

Feb 12, 2008, 04:42 PM

Maybe talk to him about the problem? I'm a 15-yr-old boy and my parents trust me completely.
If you try to block him from stuff, it just has an effect where he will try even harder to get to what you don't want him to see. trust me, it'll be a negative effect in the long run.

Hope I helped. :)

I'm 15 too and feel exactly the same way.

I know people and have friends who aren't allowed to drink because their parents said no, so they go out and get completely plastered behind their parent's backs. It's becoming a very serious problem in England.
Most of the parents are all "We don't want them making the same mistakes we made when we were young" so the kids deliberately do that sort of stuff.

Myself? I am allowed to drink in moderation. My parents even encourage me to drink at times and buy me alcohol every 6 months or so... and thus I don't go out and get so drunk I can barely walk - trust me, I've seen it to happen to people my age and younger. It's an appalling and pathetic sight.

If your kid is watching porn, let him. He'll do it more if you tell him not to. It's how kids work. I'm sure you must remember when you wanted to do the complete opposite of what your parents said - standing up to the oppressors and all that.

At least he has a healthy interest in sex, on the positive side. If he didn't, you should be worried about your teenage son. In this day in age, it's almost impossible to keep kids away from sex. It's on TV. It's in films. It's on the internet. He's going to be interested in it for some reason. Even if you isolated him from those things, his friends would still talk to him about it.

However, there really isn't much you can do when it comes to filtering the Touch. I'm guessing you'll just have to trust him not to go on porn - and if he does then let him. At the end of the day, it's unlikely to do any serious harm to him. Either that or take away his iPod touch... but in the long run, that's likely to so more damage. Conflict at home, etc.

I'm also a father of two, and I don't mean to rag on the OP, but can someone please explain to me why a 15 year old needs an iPod Touch in the first place?

I'm 15 and I want an iPod touch really badly.

Reasons I want one:
-It's an iPod. I love music, as do most teenagers, and I want to listen to it on the go
-It plays videos. I love watching videos and would like to watch them on the bus to school.
-It has wifi. My entire life revolves around the internet, I want to take it wherever I go
-I love Macs. It is technically a Mac since it runs OS X.
-Can't afford an iPhone (darn tariffs) but love the UI. Self explanatory.
-It's cool. Again, self explanatory.

lol so yeah, I take it that those are probably the reasons why a 15 year old would want an iPod Touch. No-one NEEDS an iPod touch. No-one NEEDS and iPod. It's just about what we want. For some, they want a Nano. Others want a Classic. And so forth. You make it sound like you've got to be a sensible adult to enjoy these things. Really, if you can afford it, buy it :)
I spent 9 months saving up for my iMac by building, cleaning and selling my old Lego sets on ebay (I was 14 at the time). I don't see why I shouldn't have on just because I'm 15 :) and I probably need it more than a lot of people who buy iMacs.

sgtboy

Feb 12, 2008, 04:49 PM

"If your kid is watching porn, let him. He'll do it more if you tell him not to. It's how kids work. I'm sure you must remember when you wanted to do the complete opposite of what your parents said - standing up to the oppressors and all that."

Umm, yea thats what you get with advice from a 15 year old. What about people who have standards and morals or religious beliefs? Or what about the people that just dont agree with Pornography and other explicit material? With that attitude he might as well just have a gun, the more he shoots the more likely he is to get bored :rolleyes:

And OpenDNS is your best free option

BlakTornado

Feb 12, 2008, 05:15 PM

Umm, yea thats what you get with advice from a 15 year old. What about people who have standards and morals or religious beliefs? Or what about the people that just dont agree with Pornography and other explicit material? With that attitude he might as well just have a gun, the more he shoots the more likely he is to get bored :rolleyes:

And OpenDNS is your best free option

Some kids don't share the same morals or religious beliefs. It's better not to shove stuff down your kid's throat than force them into abiding to what you believe when they're showing that they don't want to follow it. You want what's best for them, of course - all parents do- but it's their life, and if they wanna look at pornography then you shouldn't stop them because they'll just do it more and more. They'll find ways to get around it. Especially on a mobile wireless internet device.
I'm not saying that you should say "Hey son, you're allowed to look at porn" but there are times when kids need to grow up and maybe looking at porn helps him feel older? More mature? Not like a little kid anymore?

Also, linking watching porn to killing people is kinda ridiculous. No-one is getting hurt from him looking at naked people on his iPod. It may be against how you feel about it but he's making a choice to do it and if you don't want him to look at it for any Christian reasons then surely you're stopping his Free will, which would mean you're contradicting God's wishes. If not for religious reasons then he's made his choice. He's probably going to do it anyway when he leaves home so stopping him now won't do anything. If he's gotten to his teenage years and hasn't turned bad then him looking at pornography now certainly won't trigger anything.

Anyway, OpenDNS can stop your router but it won't stop him getting access from the unsecured router down the road. Why not have a word with the owners of the router and ask them to put a password on it? (If you don't know where they live, take a wireless device (ie. your son's iPod) and connect to it and walk past the houses. If the signal increases then you're getting nearer. Then take a wild guess and hope you're right :) If not, why not have a quiet word with your son about it in a friendly manner? Hope you get this sorted)

John.B

Feb 12, 2008, 05:28 PM

Talk to them as a friend, not as a lecturer, and who knows, they might actually listen. Really listen.
Reading this, you didn't even need to say you weren't a parent. :)

sgtboy

Feb 12, 2008, 07:37 PM

Some kids don't share the same morals or religious beliefs. It's better not to shove stuff down your kid's throat than force them into abiding to what you believe when they're showing that they don't want to follow it. You want what's best for them, of course - all parents do- but it's their life, and if they wanna look at pornography then you shouldn't stop them because they'll just do it more and more. They'll find ways to get around it. Especially on a mobile wireless internet device.
I'm not saying that you should say "Hey son, you're allowed to look at porn" but there are times when kids need to grow up and maybe looking at porn helps him feel older? More mature? Not like a little kid anymore?

Also, linking watching porn to killing people is kinda ridiculous. No-one is getting hurt from him looking at naked people on his iPod. It may be against how you feel about it but he's making a choice to do it and if you don't want him to look at it for any Christian reasons then surely you're stopping his Free will, which would mean you're contradicting God's wishes. If not for religious reasons then he's made his choice. He's probably going to do it anyway when he leaves home so stopping him now won't do anything. If he's gotten to his teenage years and hasn't turned bad then him looking at pornography now certainly won't trigger anything.

Wow, i think there is some serious misunderstanding here :(

quicklook2

Feb 12, 2008, 08:39 PM

15 year olds are going to end up doing what they are taught.

teach them well and it will all work out.

HeavenlyYeti

Feb 12, 2008, 08:58 PM

I think you should get him interested in something else.
My personal suggestion? "Naruto" or "Halo". Excellent anti-*insert problem here*. I've converted some pretty "corrupt" friends thanks to one or the other.
Try that.

^_^

(every Naruto episode is available on Youtube, a button conveniently located on the iTouch homescreen)

EricNau

Feb 12, 2008, 09:06 PM

Try logging on to the router by typing in the main IP (usually 192.168.1.1) into the address bar and push enter. When it asks for the user name and password try the defaults (user name:admin password: admin or similar) if you can log on to it you can block specific sites. That's the only way I know to control other peoples Wi-Fi.

See if you can't get into your neighbor's wireless... try leaving the user blank and the password "admin" without quotes.
Logging into a router owned by another person without explicit permission is completely unacceptable, and I'm sure, illegal.

It would be a far better idea to talk with your neighbor, and offer to secure their wireless connection.

pismodude2

Feb 12, 2008, 11:38 PM

Logging into a router owned by another person without explicit permission is completely unacceptable, and I'm sure, illegal.

It would be a far better idea to talk with your neighbor, and offer to secure their wireless connection.

He said 'someone in the neighborhood' ergo, not a known neighbor, and probably not someone it would be comfortable asking to block porn because you can't trust your son.

FYI, most people don't like telling others about their son's happy time. :rolleyes:

EricNau

Feb 13, 2008, 12:02 AM

He said 'someone in the neighborhood' ergo, not a known neighbor, and probably not someone it would be comfortable asking to block porn because you can't trust your son.

FYI, most people don't like telling others about their son's happy time. :rolleyes:
While that may be, it's still no excuse. In no way is it okay to tamper with someone else's network.

If that were the case and the neighbor was unknown, there would be no reason to provide any details (or make something up!). Certainly that's a better option than hacking their network. ...You might as well break into their house a steal the router - problem solved! :rolleyes:

iTeen

Feb 13, 2008, 12:08 AM

rusty.

Feb 13, 2008, 12:51 AM

Honestly, there isn't a whole lot that can be done. It's akin to when we were growing up. My parents didn't allow me to watch R-rated movies, so I just found a friend whose parents did. Mind you, it wasn't very often, and usually, the R-rating was due to swearing and light violence, not nudity.

I'm also a father of two, and I don't mean to rag on the OP, but can someone please explain to me why a 15 year old needs an iPod Touch in the first place?Why not I'm 15 and have one?

I can't see a 40-50 year old person having a use other than exercise or on a commute to work.

Some of my teachers allow me to listen to it in class, i use it on the bus, and at the gym.

There are uses for 15 year olds to have them.

rusty.

Feb 13, 2008, 12:55 AM

kaenai

Feb 13, 2008, 07:24 AM

Reading this, you didn't even need to say you weren't a parent. :)

I'm a parent of two teens, and I talk to them about things all the time. I always have, and they still listen, even at 13 and 16. They may not always agree, but they hear what I have to say, because I don't condescend to them, or treat them like they don't know anything. Kids know more than we as parents assume.

To the OP:
Maybe this is a good time to have a discussion with your son, if you haven't already. It's a good idea to let him know where you stand on these issues. Whether he agrees with you or not is up to him, but at 15 years old, he's past the age where he needs 'protection'; perhaps guidance is a better idea. Just a suggestion.

@ BOSS10L :: My son actually earned his, and I'm pretty proud of him for it. Besides, no one really needs one, now do they. ;)

pismodude2

Feb 13, 2008, 08:21 AM

While that may be, it's still no excuse. In no way is it okay to tamper with someone else's network.

If that were the case and the neighbor was unknown, there would be no reason to provide any details (or make something up!). Certainly that's a better option than hacking their network. ...You might as well break into their house a steal the router - problem solved! :rolleyes:

Yeah, that'll work. "Ummm, I don't know if you are the person with the unsecured Wi-Fi, but my so- I mean, dog, yeah, my dog is looking up porn on it, so please block it. If it is you..."

EricNau

Feb 13, 2008, 10:11 AM

Yeah, that'll work. "Ummm, I don't know if you are the person with the unsecured Wi-Fi, but my so- I mean, dog, yeah, my dog is looking up porn on it, so please block it. If it is you..."
There's no need to block certain sites; if the router were secured using WEP or WPA, his/her son would not be able to access it.

Your attempts to justify tampering with a neighbor's wifi are indeed concerning.

pismodude2

Feb 13, 2008, 11:41 PM

There's no need to block certain sites; if the router were secured using WEP or WPA, his/her son would not be able to access it.

Your attempts to justify tampering with a neighbor's wifi are indeed concerning.

That still leaves us with the problem of asking everyone in the neighborhood to secure their internet for an unmentioned reason. Is it worth becoming the creepy neighbor? Only EricNau, protector of all that is ethical and just in the world can tell...:p

EricNau

Feb 14, 2008, 12:01 AM

... EricNau, protector of all that is ethical and just ...
I like the sound of that ...it may just have to become my signature! :p :D

Jack Flash

Feb 14, 2008, 12:01 AM

That still leaves us with the problem of asking everyone in the neighborhood to secure their internet for an unmentioned reason. Is it worth becoming the creepy neighbor? Only EricNau, protector of all that is ethical and just in the world can tell...:p

Why not just clue his neighbor in that he/she needs to secure his/her network. If a "good guy" can see it, "bad guys" certainly can, too.

pismodude2

Feb 14, 2008, 12:35 AM

Why not just clue his neighbor in that he/she needs to secure his/her network. If a "good guy" can see it, "bad guys" certainly can, too.

Ok, problem solving time, get all our ducks in a row here. He said "some careless person in the neighborhood has an unsecured wireless." NOT A KNOWN PERSON!!! (Well, it could be, and therein lies the problem) Please, for the sake of simplicity, someone tell me this guy has just one neighbor! :)

P.S. I have a hard-core solution for if the MacRumors Forums fail you: BECOME AMISH :D

Jasper2k

Feb 15, 2008, 12:43 PM

I'm also a father of two, and I don't mean to rag on the OP, but can someone please explain to me why a 15 year old needs an iPod Touch in the first place?

Well on the flip side, I also am a father of two, and my 10-year-old has an iPod touch which he purchased with his own money saved from odd jobs and selling his old stuff on eBay (with my direct assistance and supervision of course). He earned the money, he wanted it, we discussed the costs and the consequences of dropping/damaging/losing it, and he got it.

Does anyone really NEED an iPod of any flavor? Probably not, but that has nothing to do with age. :)

tonyshucraft

Feb 15, 2008, 07:02 PM

to misquote the movie Superbad to not say anything explicit:

Guide his mind not block it.

The best way a person can be taught anything is not to be forced into it. That applies to parenting too. The examples here of when a kid was forced to do something and rebelled are good ones.

You will get nowhere by beating something into someone and at the same time doing nothing won't work. Explain your thoughts, and say you disagree but don't force your kid to believe or act like you. You can set rules and all of that but if you go to high on things, they are going to rebel.

Of course, if they rebel, that can be a good thing in some ways. That can show you what you are doing wrong as a parent. When they do that, talk with them. Try to understand what they think.

My parents let me drink when I was younger on occasion, even though they said they didn't like drinking. But I wasn't forced into it and I ended up not liking it. I also tried smoking when I was under age and I didn't like it. So I didn't do it. Not because I am a person that goes "drugs are the worst thing in the world" because I am liberal on that issue.

What I am saying is act as you think you need but be careful because doing something too extreme may be as unhealthy as what they may be doing in the situation you disprove of.

Also, I am not a parent but does not mean that I don't know how it is to be a kid or not understand some psychology.

The Menacer

Feb 15, 2008, 08:47 PM

Some kids don't share the same morals or religious beliefs. It's better not to shove stuff down your kid's throat than force them into abiding to what you believe when they're showing that they don't want to follow it.

I am a 15 year old, and I am completely the opposite way. I'm VERY glad my parents taught me their morals and beliefs. If they didn't, a) I'd probably be out getting plastered every night and b) they wouldn't be good parents! It's a parent's JOB to teach their kids right and wrong. You act like parents and kids are in a democracy here! Parents have the ultimate power over their children, and the children should shut up and listen. Even though it's hard for me to do sometimes, it's very cool to be the only one of my friends who's never gotten drunk or high in his life. And it was because of my parents.

And by the way, if your parents are buying you alcohol, I don't think you are in ANY position to give recommendations on how to parent...

John.B

Feb 15, 2008, 11:14 PM

I'm a parent of two teens, and I talk to them about things all the time. I always have, and they still listen, even at 13 and 16. They may not always agree, but they hear what I have to say, because I don't condescend to them, or treat them like they don't know anything. Kids know more than we as parents assume.
I get what you are saying. My point was more along the lines of the fact that kids need their parents to be their parents and not their "friends".

When reasoning works, that's great. When it doesn't, well, someone has to be in charge and it shouldn't be the kids. A good lesson in limits will help them be successful later in life for the stuff that really counts.

I wish my own parents had understood this, but I can only correct that on a go-forward basis with my own kids. :)

YuriVoorhak

Feb 16, 2008, 12:44 AM

Wow, 14 years old and looking at porn? What has this world come to? :p

As a non-parent, here's hoping your kid doesn't find out about the gajillions of public wifi hotspots pretty much everywhere I eat and shop. I'm sure we'd all rather you explain the birds and bees to him, so I don't have to run into him at a Panera Bread restroom. :(

nateco

Feb 16, 2008, 01:59 AM

Umm,. What about people who have standards and morals or religious beliefs? Or what about the people that just dont agree with Pornography and other explicit material? :rolleyes:

seems like the kid doesn't have any objections to that stuff.....you might....but people can make up their own minds....it's not your job to control people..it's your job to help the kid make good decisions, not make those decisions for him.....if he wants to watch naked chicks....that's fine, everyone else does too.

Dare ya to try and find any man alive who didn't have a magazine or two stuffed under their bed as a teenager.

At 15, you're three years away from voting...you can drive a car, some places, you can even own a gun......there's nothing on the internet that needs to be filtered from a person......if you did your job right as a parent....the kid will know what's what.

nateco

Feb 16, 2008, 02:06 AM

I am a 15 year old, and I am completely the opposite way. I'm VERY glad my parents taught me their morals and beliefs. If they didn't, a) I'd probably be out getting plastered every night and b) they wouldn't be good parents! It's a parent's JOB to teach their kids right and wrong. You act like parents and kids are in a democracy here! Parents have the ultimate power over their children, and the children should shut up and listen. Even though it's hard for me to do sometimes, it's very cool to be the only one of my friends who's never gotten drunk or high in his life. And it was because of my parents.

And by the way, if your parents are buying you alcohol, I don't think you are in ANY position to give recommendations on how to parent...

Booze is not harmfull....it's not evil either......heck, I take great pleasure in trying different beers from around the world...I love a good stout....good scotch....and lots of people drink wine for reasons other than getting plastered.

You've never gotten drunk.....glad yer proud to be loser with pretensions towards fermented beverages....seriously....square.

Smoking pot is not gonna kill you....I don't do it...but lots of people do....hell, most of the world, besides the states,it's common place for people to smoke dope.....it's not like other hard drugs...most places isn't not even a serious crime to smoke dope....and getting busted smoking dope in public is like open liquor here..small fine..away ya go....nobody really cares.

You totally bought the propaganda didn't you.

theman

Feb 16, 2008, 02:43 AM

Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/5.0 (iPod; U; CPU like Mac OS X; en) AppleWebKit/420.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.0 Mobile/4A93 Safari/419.3)

Seriously, if you want to get your kid to stop watching porn, this is what you do:

Rent/buy/download a movie, and tell him it's time to have a serious discussion about sex (you know, the whole birds and bees thing). Start playing the movie and tell him about safe sex and condoms etc, as well as some parental wisdom about the meaning and significance of sex. All that sort of stuff. See if he has any questions. Be honest and open with him. This will remove the rebellious aspect, aswell as the curiosity from it. And, above all it will completely scare him away from porn for a while...

kaenai

Feb 16, 2008, 08:25 AM

I get what you are saying. My point was more along the lines of the fact that kids need their parents to be their parents and not their "friends".

When reasoning works, that's great. When it doesn't, well, someone has to be in charge and it shouldn't be the kids. A good lesson in limits will help them be successful later in life for the stuff that really counts.

I wish my own parents had understood this, but I can only correct that on a go-forward basis with my own kids. :)
Of course; I understand that very well. I've never had to 'reason' with mine; maybe I got lucky and they're just really even-tempered teens (oxymoron or what?). xD
At any rate, they know who's the boss around here; as long as they follow the house rules, everything flows smoothly, and they've learned that pretty easily over the years - no major blowouts or anything. That's where we agree; limits matter.

As for setting limits on what your kids see online, it's very hard to do that, especially when setting limits on behavior outside the home. I think someone else here had a good idea. Set up a rule that from time to time, you will ask to see his browser history periodically. If you find explicit material (and not just search results, but something that shows he's been actively "looking"), then - well, the OP can decide on the consequence there; might be different for everyone.

The best thing, though is to have a chat with the boy. Seriously, if his mom has 'the talk' with him instead of his dad, he won't even want to look for a while, because his mom's face will be in his head for a while every time he thinks about it. That could be good or bad. A real benefit is that his mother may be able to teach him a modicum of respect for the women he's staring at, and eventually the one's he'll be talking to or dating.
They're not likely to be from the same set anyway. :p

Ickus

Feb 16, 2008, 06:51 PM

I am a 15 year old, and I am completely the opposite way. I'm VERY glad my parents taught me their morals and beliefs. If they didn't, a) I'd probably be out getting plastered every night and b) they wouldn't be good parents! It's a parent's JOB to teach their kids right and wrong. You act like parents and kids are in a democracy here! Parents have the ultimate power over their children, and the children should shut up and listen. Even though it's hard for me to do sometimes, it's very cool to be the only one of my friends who's never gotten drunk or high in his life. And it was because of my parents.

And by the way, if your parents are buying you alcohol, I don't think you are in ANY position to give recommendations on how to parent...

Ok im 16 and and my beliefs and moral are totally different from my parents and you dont see me going around doing drugs and alcohol. There is actually a form of government that alot of people live in which is a democracy even in a hosuehold. And wow if you think thats cool you have some mental issues

But seriously you should just tell him thats what you are against but not force him not to. Its a phase hes gonna go through at some time in his life so trying to stop it is kind of useless cause he'll do it anyway

Muncher

Feb 16, 2008, 07:35 PM

...if you did your job right as a parent....the kid will know what's what.

That's a great point. I totally agree, a parent cannot make up for bad skills by restricting their kid further, they can only make it worse.

@theman: That's truly awful (in a good way) :p! I would be so embarrassed if that happened to me!

flymach1

Jun 20, 2009, 02:19 PM

Booze is not harmfull....it's not evil either......heck, I take great pleasure in trying different beers from around the world...I love a good stout....good scotch....and lots of people drink wine for reasons other than getting plastered.

You've never gotten drunk.....glad yer proud to be loser with pretensions towards fermented beverages....seriously....square.

Smoking pot is not gonna kill you....I don't do it...but lots of people do....hell, most of the world, besides the states,it's common place for people to smoke dope.....it's not like other hard drugs...most places isn't not even a serious crime to smoke dope....and getting busted smoking dope in public is like open liquor here..small fine..away ya go....nobody really cares.

You totally bought the propaganda didn't you.

Alcohol isn't harmful? So far this year there are over 6,000 drunk driving deaths. I think it was harmful to those people. How many broken marriages, broken dreams, lost jobs, etc, have come from people's abuse of alcohol? Same thing with dope or any other substance that people abuse - including prescription meds. Since it reduces your mental faculties and your motor skills, it is harmful - even if the effect is temporary, what you do when not fully in control can be permanent.

At 15 the brain isn't fully developed. They don't have the problem solving skills and experience base to draw on to make all the decisions they could be faced with. That is a simple medical fact. Any parent providing alcohol for a minor is an idiot and a criminal.