Polish builder sacked for humping hoover

[edesignuk]

A Polish building contractor working at London's Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital was given his marching orders after a security guard caught him having sex with a Henry Hoover, the Sun reports.

The unnamed perv was supposed to be locking up the site, at hospital admin offices, but was instead discovered in the staff canteen "naked and on his knees with the smiling cleaner".

The "horrified" guard told the chap to "clean himself and the hoover", then ejected him from the premises. The unnamed vacuum-molestor later told his bosses he was actually cleaning his underwear, describing this habit as "a common practice in Poland".

His employer, HG Construction, was having none of it. The company said: "That behaviour is not acceptable, though it gave a few people a laugh." ®The Reg (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/03/03/hoover_incident/).

Lolz :D

[iBlue]

dodgy eastern europeans! :p




hey wait, we have a henry vacuum... you tryin' to tell me sumthin'? :eek: :D

[johny5]

What!? was he given the opportunity to explain himself? I think maybe he was just "cleaning" out the nozzle?

[Abstract]

No wonder that thing is always smiling.

[arkitect]

What!? was he given the opportunity to explain himself?

Apparently he tried… :D:D

The unnamed vacuum-molestor later told his bosses he was actually cleaning his underwear, describing this habit as "a common practice in Poland".

[Queso]

No wonder that thing is always smiling.
Post of the day :D:D

[MacPanda]

My sister had a bunch of polish workers to do some house decorating - she finally put some savings together to do up the kitchen - we had been living in really bad conditions for a while - so she took the advice of a friend at work.

The polish guy was nothing but a disgusting piece of work. He asked for cash in advance and kept asking more and more amd more sums whenever he felt like it, far more than what he said he would. Then he refused to finish the stair leaving it all uncomplete with the brick work exposed. He still wanted money for it. We had no kitchen for several months.
He cut the window frame at diffferent lengths on each side, spoilt the worktop - cut the cupboards up as he wanted.

Then he complained my sister's friend and as his friend was a solictor he kept on sending us legal threats, and squeezed more money out us threatening to take us to court.

[Antares]

Comm'on hasn't everybody tired the vacuum thing out of curiosity? :D

[arkitect]

Comm'on hasn't everybody tired the vacuum thing out of curiosity? :D

Errm… no. :confused: :eek:

I always thought it was some kind of urban myth. :D

[remmy]

ugh worst mental image, feels sick :(

[Keebler]

My sister had a bunch of polish workers to do some house decorating - she finally put some savings together to do up the kitchen - we had been living in really bad conditions for a while - so she took the advice of a friend at work.

The polish guy was nothing but a disgusting piece of work. He asked for cash in advance and kept asking more and more amd more sums whenever he felt like it, far more than what he said he would. Then he refused to finish the stair leaving it all uncomplete with the brick work exposed. He still wanted money for it. We had no kitchen for several months.
He cut the window frame at diffferent lengths on each side, spoilt the worktop - cut the cupboards up as he wanted.

Then he complained my sister's friend and as his friend was a solictor he kept on sending us legal threats, and squeezed more money out us threatening to take us to court.

no offense macpanda, but that isn't what this thread is about. unfortunately, alot of ppl get burned by hired contractors. it's a matter of defending yourself and calling the appropriate authorities.

never give money until a job is done.

[Much Ado]

Thank God he didn't try a Dyson...

[Schtumple]

I'm sorry but, hahaha, why, why at work?

It's obvious he's going to be caught...

[Neutral Gamer]

My sister had a bunch of polish workers to do some house decorating ...

I agree with you 100%. Your bad experiences with some Polish workers obviously mean that all Polish people are lazy and dishonest and, worst of all, probably vacuum cleaner perverts.

Myself and people I know have had bad experiences with Irish, Indian and White builders which obviously means that all Irish, Indian and Whte people are lazy and dishonest (and quite possibly vacuum cleaner perverts).

Or maybe it's just that quite a few builders are lazy and dishonest and you should only hire builders recommended by friends and family .... nah, that would be too obvious ... vote BNP! :D

[johny5]

Thank God he didn't try a Dyson...

Thats very true, but come on, dont all the big boys use a "Kirby"?

I would class a Dyson as a Dell and a Kirby in the league as an Apple :D

[PlaceofDis]

thats some funny stuff. i mean its straight out of a movie... didn't know people actually did this.... wait he probably got the idea from a movie in the first place...

[Gelfin]

Oh, someone's gunning for the "best thread titles" thread, aren't they? ;)

Comm'on hasn't everybody tired the vacuum thing out of curiosity? :D

*ahem* Some of us would need a special attachment to try that.

[weckart]

Hospitals are full of people who "accidentally" tried cleaning their underwear in a similar way. A nurse friend of mine (who has lots of gross stories about what people get up to) said this would happen less if people realised that one of the unexpected side effects is a messy and uneven circumcision.

Coincidentally, I was just about to buy a Henry for my sister, whose Dyson has given up the ghost, but I am having second thoughts if people start attaching a sexual connotation to these machines.

[Much Ado]

Thats very true, but come on, dont all the big boys use a "Kirby"?

I would class a Dyson as a Dell and a Kirby in the league as an Apple :D

You are sophisticated, sir. :)

A nurse friend of mine (who has lots of gross stories about what people get up to) said this would happen less if people realised that one of the unexpected side effects is a messy and uneven circumcision.

I just choked on my sugar puffs...

[brad.c]

Hospitals are full of people who "accidentally" tried cleaning their underwear in a similar way. A nurse friend of mine (who has lots of gross stories about what people get up to) said this would happen less if people realised that one of the unexpected side effects is a messy and uneven circumcision

That would really suck. :eek:

[Osarkon]

That would really suck. :eek:

Pun fully intended? :p

I also thought it was some urban myth. And if it's 'common practice' in Poland, I worry about what else is.

[pilotError]

Gotta love adsense on threads like this...

You have to wonder if Consumer reports takes this type of activity into consideration on their reviews?

[Osarkon]

Gotta love adsense on threads like this...

You have to wonder if Consumer reports takes this type of activity into consideration on their reviews?

Ahahaha that's brilliant!

[ezekielrage_99]

Hahahahahahaha....

He got caught, now that sucks :rolleyes:

[BlakTornado]

Reminds me of Two Pints :P


Anyway, I'm going to Poland next month. I'll try "hoovering my underwear" and see what Polish people really say about it ;)

[vixapphire]

You are sophisticated, sir. :)



I just choked on my sugar puffs...

well, by contrast, i think the hoover choked on the Polish guy's...

[decksnap]

Hospitals are full of people who "accidentally" tried cleaning their underwear in a similar way. A nurse friend of mine (who has lots of gross stories about what people get up to) said this would happen less if people realised that one of the unexpected side effects is a messy and uneven circumcision.

Jesus Christ man. Way to paint a picture.

[zap2]

I had to read that twice before I was read to comment!

Should have done that at home!

[geese]

At least he could have picked a better looking hoover:

http://www.luxurylaunches.com/entry_images/0907/26/hetty1.jpg

[hwojtek]

I'll try "hoovering my underwear" and see what Polish people really say about it ;)

On your arrival you will be welcomed in this traditional way, which is still common in those underdeveloped yet providing you cheap workforce, Third World countries that pretend to be Europe.

Due to lack of widely available electricity however, most possibly they will employ a broomstick instead of a vacuum cleaner. :rolleyes:

In unrelated news, British citizens, who apparently have the habit of drinking to death naked in public places will not be served in pubs and restaurants, and may even be escorted by police to the nearest airport and deported to UK without the right to come back to Poland. Todays' press says: Cracow declares war on naked Brits (http://miasta.gazeta.pl/krakow/1,35798,4982548.html). Pictured: a typical Briton visiting Poland. :)

[MrSmith]

There's potential humour in combining the words Pole and his pole, together with the possible Polish name Sukmeof, but I'm too tired to contrive anything. :cool:

[Queso]

There's potential humour in combining the words Pole and his pole, together with the possible Polish name Sukmeof, but I'm too tired to contrive anything. :cool:
Fortit Wazaczyk?

[riscy]

I think he has got the wrong idea of what a blowjob actually is :)

[Abstract]

Myself and people I know have had bad experiences with Irish, Indian and White builders which obviously means that all Irish, Indian and Whte people are lazy and dishonest (and quite possibly vacuum cleaner perverts).


Yep, that must be true as well.


If his Polish sausage didn't get chopped off by the fan inside the vacuum, it must have been quite short, no?

[decksnap]

There's potential humour in combining the words Pole and his pole, together with the possible Polish name Sukmeof, but I'm too tired to contrive anything. :cool:

Sukmeof Dontneedachik?

[Gasu E.]

My sister had a bunch of polish workers to do some house decorating - she finally put some savings together to do up the kitchen - we had been living in really bad conditions for a while - so she took the advice of a friend at work.

The polish guy was nothing but a disgusting piece of work. He asked for cash in advance and kept asking more and more amd more sums whenever he felt like it, far more than what he said he would. Then he refused to finish the stair leaving it all uncomplete with the brick work exposed. He still wanted money for it. We had no kitchen for several months.
He cut the window frame at diffferent lengths on each side, spoilt the worktop - cut the cupboards up as he wanted.

Then he complained my sister's friend and as his friend was a solictor he kept on sending us legal threats, and squeezed more money out us threatening to take us to court.

I know what you mean. President McKinley was assassinated by a Polish guy!

[jb60606]

Polish builder sacked for humping hoover

Thread title of the year.

[Pani]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sounds like it is just trying to stir up xenophobia to me. Really, the fact that he is Polish is incidental, and it is just meant to exploit tensions between newcomers and natives. The British Press is hardly known for its integrity in reporting. Then again, the U.S. press is catching up fast, I know the Chicago Sun Times is a complete rag!

p.s. Neutral gamer - great post!!!!!!

[MrSmith]

What, so now we're not allowed to say where people are from? Next we won't be able to mention skin colour, blood type, hair colour or birthstone. The word police strike again.