Hi Ladies, should we have Steve's sperm frozen?

[OzExige]

I have often thought about cyrogenics, couldn't afford the whole thing, just my head. I'm thinking that frozen sperm would be a cheap alternative and the first person I'd like to donate would be our lovable and fearless leader Mr. Steve Jobs. Would any of you ladies/girls be interested in having Steve's baby?
Yes, I'm serious about both ideas. :)

[JW8725]

er he has male pattern baldness

[OzExige]

er he has male pattern baldness

Me too, only means a greater amount of testosterone. :D

[Cassie]

Uh, no thanks. Besides the fact that that totally grosses me out, I think when Steve goes, it's time for a new era for Apple, not a repeat.

[mcarnes]

I wouldn't mind having some, just for novelty.

[Marble]

Like a souvenir at Apple HQ, you mean?

[ribbonthecat]

You know, when people describe us Mac fans as members of a cult, its these sorts of questions which gives them fodder.

[nick9191]

Steve was handsome when he was younger. (http://i.treehugger.com/images/2007/5/24/jobs1984.jpg)

[blackfox]

This is simultaneously the most horrifying and hilarious thread (title) I have run across in some time.

[ribbonthecat]

Steve was handsome when he was younger. (http://i.treehugger.com/images/2007/5/24/jobs1984.jpg)

Not as handsome as those computers.

[kellen]

bald and didn't he have cancer? Not a good candidate.

[Abstract]

I heard it goes great in fruit smoothies as a thickener.

[pilotError]

Between the Cancer Treatment and his age, you might only find dust there! :eek: :D :p

[Tom B.]

If anyone has read or seen "The Boys From Brazil (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boys_from_brazil#Plot)", maybe we should copy Josef Mengele's plan. ;)

[ziwi]

I think they are already planning on using the stuff on the next generation of Mac's...

"Now get a little Steve in every Mac" - introducing the new Mac Daddy! :p

"The new biological processors are so much faster and better than anything motorola, IBM and Intel ever put out and on top of that I put alot of time and effort into creating these machines. There is a part of me in everyone of these babies!" - Steve Jobs 2013 :rolleyes:

[Santa Rosa]

I heard it goes great in fruit smoothies as a thickener.

Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!!!! I aint going to be able to have a smoothie for ages now!!!

[iJohnHenry]

Coming soon, on e-Bay??

[Stampyhead]

This thread is coming soon to the Wasteland (hopefully)

[arkitect]

Luckily I have resisted the temptation for pics…

Just imagining it is enough. :eek:

Seriously, one of the strangest threads in a while. Not saying it hasn't been entertaining… ;)

[iBlue]

No thanks. http://upc.edesignuk.com/uploads/smilies/barf.gif

I don't understand the worship of Steve Jobs, the man is a complete prick!

Having his babies wasn't exactly great for the first child he fathered either...

When Jobs had his own illegitimate child, also at the age of 23, he too struggled with his responsibilities. For two years, though already wealthy, he denied paternity while Lisa's mother went on welfare. At one point Jobs even swore in a signed court document that he couldn't be Lisa's father because he was "sterile and infertile, and as a result thereof, did not have the physical capacity to procreate a child." He later acknowledged paternity of Lisa, source (http://money.cnn.com/2008/03/02/news/companies/elkind_jobs.fortune/index2.htm)

I'd rather find myself impregnated by a cactus than that slimy bastard.

[PowerFullMac]

I think they are already planning on using the stuff on the next generation of Mac's...

"Now get a little Steve in every Mac" - introducing the new Mac Daddy! :p

"The new biological processors are so much faster and better than anything motorola, IBM and Intel ever put out and on top of that I put alot of time and effort into creating these machines. There is a part of me in everyone of these babies!" - Steve Jobs 2013 :rolleyes:

This thread is halerious!

Thanks to the OP! :D

iBlue: Show the man some respect, without him where would we be now?

[Abstract]

iBlue: Show the man some respect, without him where would we be now?

We'd probably be pretty happy either way.

Show the man some respect? Wow......you need to stop drinking the Apple kool-aid and get some perspective or something.

[PowerFullMac]

We'd probably be pretty happy either way.

Show the man some respect? Wow......you need to stop drinking the Apple kool-aid and get some perspective or something.

He did design the first iPod... That was a huge revolution, most people on here have them nd I have no idea what I would to without my iPod Touch. I doubt there would also be any iPhone, eather.

There also would be no Objective-C as that was created from NExTSTEP which was made by... oh, thats right... Steve Jobs!

He also co-founded Apple, helped Steve Wozniak with the buisness side of things and helped mass produce the first Apple computers.

[iBlue]

You realize that there is more to Apple design than Steve Jobs, right? Yeah some great things have come from Apple but come on! Lets not break out the knee pads over it, yeah?

[Abstract]

I could live without those things. It's strange to learn that you place so much importance in Steve Jobs and Apple, when so many other people don't give a poop and have pretty decent lives.

I think PowerFullMac would be more than willing to use his body as a storage place for Steve's sperm.

[PowerFullMac]

I could live without those things. It's strange to learn that you place so much importance in Steve Jobs and Apple, when so many other people don't give a poop and have pretty decent lives.

I think PowerFullMac would be more than willing to use his body as a storage place for Steve's sperm.

Oi!

I just appreciate all the things Steve has done for the computing world, and to Apple... I do, however, think Steve Wozniak done way more and he is way more important than Jobs to the progress of computing and Apple etc.

I am not one of those people who worships Steve Jobs.

[sushi]

Yes, I'm serious about both ideas. :)
MR never ceases to amaze me with the variety of topics that come up.

You know, when people describe us Mac fans as members of a cult, its these sorts of questions which gives them fodder.
:)

"Now get a little Steve in every Mac" - introducing the new Mac Daddy!
Now that would be funny.

No thanks. http://upc.edesignuk.com/uploads/smilies/barf.gif
Succinct and to the point! :D

I'd rather find myself impregnated by a cactus than that slimy bastard.
If you do this (with the cactus), can I watch? ;) :p :D

That hurts just thinking about it. :eek:

[iJohnHenry]

Luckily I have resisted the temptation for pics…

Just imagining it is enough. :eek:

LOOK, it's warm and fuzzy.

http://images.vinylpulse.com/vp_pics/hello_maggot/chicken_sperm/ann/sperm_b.jpg

[arkitect]

LOOK, it's warm and fuzzy.


Warm and fuzzy? :eek:
Looks like they forgot to clean out the petri dish…

And I thought NHS hygiene was bad. :mad: ;)

[Stampyhead]

No thanks. http://upc.edesignuk.com/uploads/smilies/barf.gif

I don't understand the worship of Steve Jobs, the man is a complete prick!

Having his babies wasn't exactly great for the first child he fathered either...

source (http://money.cnn.com/2008/03/02/news/companies/elkind_jobs.fortune/index2.htm)

I'd rather find myself impregnated by a cactus than that slimy bastard.

That's terrible. Although I don't 'worship' Mr. Jobs I have always respected him for bringing Apple out of the trashbin and making it into the world-class company it is today. I have, however, lost a lot of that respect on reading that article and seeing that he fails as a father. No matter how successful you are in your work, if you fail your own children then you are nothing.

[arkitect]

No thanks.

I don't understand the worship of Steve Jobs, the man is a complete prick!

I'd rather find myself impregnated by a cactus than that slimy bastard.

Now that is a lot of prick! :eek:

:D

[Prof.]

Steve was handsome when he was younger. (http://i.treehugger.com/images/2007/5/24/jobs1984.jpg)
Weren't we all?;)
No thanks. http://upc.edesignuk.com/uploads/smilies/barf.gif

I don't understand the worship of Steve Jobs, the man is a complete prick!

I'd rather find myself impregnated by a cactus than that slimy bastard.
RAWR!!! :p

[arkitect]

Steve was handsome when he was younger.[/URL]

Weren't we all?;)

You are faaar too young to know anything about that! :D ;)

Come back when you've had another 20 years under your belt… so to speak. :)

[BrianDavid0523]

I couldn't do anything with Steve's spooge other than gargle with it! :p

LMAO

[Gasu E.]

What would one call the process by which this substance might be extracted? A "Jobsjob"?

Actually, while I am ambivalent on the subject of freezing the Jobs sperm, I would be heavily in favor of freezing his head (to be clear, cabeza in Spanish).

[BrianDavid0523]

What would one call the process by which this substance might be extracted? A "Jobsjob"?

Actually, while I am ambivalent on the subject of freezing the Jobs sperm, I would be heavily in favor of freezing his head (to be clear, cabeza in Spanish).

Which one?

[Cassie]

I think I'm about to puke...

[iJohnHenry]

"For God's sake Ethel, it's 3 in the morning.
Either swallow or spit it out!!!"

(Old joke. Sorry to offend.)

[Eric Lewis]

this will be in the trash soon

like 10 mins?

[Grey Beard]

this will be in the trash soon

like 10 mins?

OK, who pressed the penis in the triangle thingie ?

KGB

[iJohnHenry]

OK, who pressed the penis in the triangle thingie ?

Maybe.... :apple:

I think I'm about to puke...

[Telp]

Uh, no thanks. Besides the fact that that totally grosses me out, I think when Steve goes, it's time for a new era for Apple, not a repeat.

I disagree, unless whoever comes next has a cooler name like...Apple iPod :p

[ghall]

This is, by far, the strangest thread I have ever read.

I'm going to go lie down in the fetal position and suck my thumb for a bit.

[Telp]

This is, by far, the strangest thread I have ever read.

I'm going to go lie down in the fetal position and suck my thumb for a bit.

Hm...I think ill join you. Let's see if el Jobso wants to join us :p

[Grey Beard]

This is, by far, the strangest thread I have ever read.

I'm going to go lie down in the fetal position and suck my thumb for a bit.

To curl up sucking your thumb when you want a bit, is the strangest method I have ever heard of.

KGB

[Telp]

To curl up sucking your thumb when you want a bit, is the strangest method I have ever heard of.

KGB

I think its a great method. It would work on me...:eek::eek:

[MBHockey]

Me too, only means a greater amount of testosterone. :D

That's actually completely incorrect. Not sure where you got that.

Testosterone, a hormone that is present in high levels in males after puberty, is converted to dihydrotestosterone (DHT) by an enzyme called 5-alpha reductase. DHT has an adverse affect on the hair follicles.

[Telp]

Actually, thinking about it, I think Jobs would absolutely refuse for this to happen. In any way shape or form.

[ghall]

Actually, thinking about it, I think Jobs would absolutely refuse for this to happen. In any way shape or form.

Or he will, then deny that any baby conceived with his sperm could be in any way genetically related to him.

[Telp]

Or he will, then deny that any baby conceived with his sperm could be in any way genetically related to him.

No, and if he did, he would have him killed the next day. Thats harsh, how bout, "sent away"...

[true777]

I'd have his baby if he paid child support proportionally to his income and assets... :)

[Telp]

I'd have his baby if he paid child support proportionally to his income and assets... :)

Well duh...So would i...

[Eric Lewis]

can i guy get some? to impant into girlfriend

ahah jokes

[Telp]

can i guy get some? to implant into girlfriend

ahah jokes

How awesome would that be. To give birth to a bastard child that Jobs himself didn't know about. And you could be like MY SON IS STEVE JOBS' SON!!! Wow...ill sleep well tonight =]

[mcarnes]

How awesome would that be. To give birth to a bastard child that Jobs himself didn't know about. And you could be like MY SON IS STEVE JOBS' SON!!! Wow...ill sleep well tonight =]

I'd make him use a PC. Cruel.

[Telp]

I'd make him use a PC. Cruel.

:(:( I would cry.

[zap2]

and people say Mac users are "crazy"

Thats just silly ;)

[Telp]

and people say Mac users are "crazy"

Thats just silly ;)

Mac users are crazy...;):rolleyes::apple::apple::apple::apple::apple:

[Hello.there]

If it's a boy I'm going to call him Odd.

[Counterfit]

He did design the first iPod...

No. No, he didn't. The scroll wheel was Phil Shiller's idea (I think), and the hardware design was the work of Tony Fadell, Michael Dhuey, and Jonathan Ive (among others). The software was done by a third party (PortalPlayer), and the interface was done by another company (Pixo) under Steve's direct supervision.

[11800506]

This is definitely one of the strangest threads I have ever read.

[jb60606]

Not necessary. He's already in the process of cloning himself - and his Birkenstocks.

[Cassie]

He did design the first iPod...
No. No, he didn't. The scroll wheel was Phil Shiller's idea (I think), and the hardware design was the work of Tony Fadell, Michael Dhuey, and Jonathan Ive (among others). The software was done by a third party (PortalPlayer), and the interface was done by another company (Pixo) under Steve's direct supervision.Pwnd. :p

[iBlue]

Now that is a lot of prick! :eek:

:D
Ah good, someone who appreciated my choice of words. :D


I just don't think very highly of the Steve.


(this is such a strange thread)

[mkrishnan]

The Arctic winds of teh Wasteland will cryogenically freeze this thread for hundreds of years, until future humans, who look pretty much like today's humans except their clothes all look the same and the seams are in different places, will innocently raise it from the dead. To save humanity once again, it will then be returned to the wasteland in hundreds of years and five minutes.