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eyelikeart
May 9, 2002, 05:58 PM
so here it is...

I've had a pretty ******* week....a few of u may know about it already...

duke prompted me to start a new thread...

to answer duke...yes the past week has been bad...I basically lost out on my girl for her career and....ahem....someone else...

tragic... :( :eek: :mad: ;)

mischief
May 9, 2002, 06:06 PM
If you find a good shrink it'll do you no end of good.

I've already chatted with Eye about women so I won't recycle.

3rdpath
May 9, 2002, 06:07 PM
well, as an older and hopefully wisened oldster-who has been the dumper and the dumpee....it always works out for the best. i know that sounds trite but its true.

just don't do anything crazy in the emotional aftermath....like i did.

feel bad, crappy and sorry for yourself-its all valid. and you won't like to hear this but.... see what part you played in the whole thing. that kind of introspection is the toughest.

i wish you luck.:)

Mr. Anderson
May 9, 2002, 06:11 PM
Damn eye, that really does suck. Well, in that case I'll tell you about an ex of mine, that should make you feel a little better knowing you're not the only one this has happened to.

We had been living together for over a year, I had been thinking of asking the big question, just had been taking some time getting it all together (ends up being the best thing I could have done). She goes to Germany for work - internship or such for the job she had here in DC - and takes some time off to go skiing in Austria. She wanted me to come along originally, but I didn't have much vacation or extra money at the time, so I didn't.

We talked a few times on the phone, but on the day she comes home she has her parents pick her up at the airport and spends the night there because she got in late and her parents were closer, yeah, right....

So the next day she walks in the door and not even stopping to give me a hug or anything she sits down on the couch and says we have to talk. Well long story short, she met some guy in Austria, had an affair, wanted to move out, blah, blah, blah....

I was shocked but there was nothing I could really do. And the fact that she had arleady found someone else just made it worse. I made sure later that week when she moved out I wasn't around. Ooh, I was so mad, upset, depressed, you know, obviously.

The last time I heard from her was last year, she called my house, where my wife (then fiance) and I live, at 8 PM, from Germany (it must have been 2 or 3 AM there), drunk and wanted to make sure that 'We had done the right thing' Ha, I just said yep, talked politely with her and that was it. Haven't heard from her again and now I'm happily married to a wonderful woman who I never would have met had my ex not been a wench.

So, I hope in all your anguish you can realize that even though it might be bad now, it won't always be the same. And you're lucky too, she's not going to be in the same city, that way it won't be as painful.

Good luck and hang in there.

eyelikeart
May 9, 2002, 06:32 PM
damn man that really sucks!!! :eek: :mad:

Sometimes I cannot believe the balls some people have when treating others. And it's always true....they always come back once u have forgotten about them...ironic isn't it? My ex-girlfriends usually call once they have screwed something up...pregnancy...guilt...whatever.

My situation was we met in New Orleans (via internet)...she was finishing up at Tulane. We knew from the start we were what we'd been looking for forever...and it worked really...really well.

Long story short....she couldn't find much work in politics here so got a gig working for a State Senate candidate....lots of work...very little pay...but a "great opportunity." I don't doubt that it's a good opportunity for her...but anyway...it's been 2 months since she moved. The idea was I was going to move up to be with her in August. Well I would rather pull out my own toenails than talk on the phone & have a long distance relationship...so we fought more than usual.

She made some new friends over the course of the past month...started going out all the time. All of a sudden I cannot get in touch with her at night...and the only times she's calling is late at night when I'm asleep (the very little that I do get...can u believe it?! ;)) So less communcation ensues from there.

Well earlier this week...we have this showdown. All of a sudden she's not sure she's strong enough to continue with things the way they are....doesn't want to wait so long to be together...I shouldn't leave my "home"...all that cr@p. Reluctantly on my part, we split. With the signs I'd been getting and a bit of resourcefulness....I find out she's got a new guy in OK. The worst part is I cannot confront her with it (not ethically anyway) so I have to try and get her to level with me....which she won't.

So basically this all defies everything our relationship has been based upon for the past year & a half. But I've decided to have some damned fun this summer...screw being down and depressed...he he he :p

Mr. Anderson
May 9, 2002, 06:44 PM
Originally posted by eyelikeart
damn man that really sucks!!! :eek: :mad:

...

So basically this all defies everything our relationship has been based upon for the past year & a half. But I've decided to have some damned fun this summer...screw being down and depressed...he he he :p

Ha, I'm still chuckling over how the whole thing ended. Oh, I forgot, her dad had a bottle of champagne in the fridge waiting for that day she'd walk in with a ring. That was something she told on the international drunk dialing night. Ha Again!

As for your situation, all I can say is don't let it get you down. And Yes, have fun, move on. If she's not willing to be honest and up front with you, she's feeling guilty. Tough. You're an adult, and you have to live with your actions. Sure its going to hurt sometimes, but as long as you're honest with yourself, you're ok.

Good luck

Beej
May 9, 2002, 07:00 PM
Damn, women suck.

At least you guys didn't lose your best friend along with your girlfriend... and they didn't even run off together!

Women make me angry! Arrrrrrr!

OK, I'm fine now. Just needed to let that out :)

britboy
May 9, 2002, 07:16 PM
I know what you mean about the long-distance phone thing eye. I've been doing that for the past 8 months, and it sucks! :mad: It's impossible to hold a normal conversation, when you know that it's costing you by the second.

Sorry to hear about your (now) ex. Better luck with the next one ;)

Mr. Anderson
May 9, 2002, 07:29 PM
You're up kind of late there britboy. What time is it for you right now? I had to comment because of my post about my ex calling from Germany late in the night.

How far away is your woman? When do you get to see her next?

britboy
May 9, 2002, 07:57 PM
Every part of my body is telling me i should be in bed right now. It's 2:55am. I have fridays free of lectures, so all i planned to do tomorrow (or later today:)) is tidy up, washing, etc... the usual. My fiancee's coming tomorrow :D She's just spent the last 8 months travelling around the world (china, japan, australia, oz, america) with a friend, and is currently in the UK.

Damn, this means i should probably shave.... :p

Anyway, it's real late, and i'm off to do some

chmorley
May 9, 2002, 09:09 PM
Eye, that sucks. Not much that can be said (or written) that's going to make it much better right now. I will say this, though, therapy is a good thing. I am a psychologist and have seen it change people's lives. If you can take care of yourself with friends and family, cool. If it's too big for that, find a good therapist. If you want some tips on how to do that, drop me an e-mail.

Take care of yourself.

Chris

____
“What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy."
--Jonathan Swift

Rower_CPU
May 9, 2002, 09:49 PM
I think many of us have been there, in terms of long distance relationships. I had a girl start sleeping around on me just two weeks after I moved away and we were trying to "keep the relationship going". Needless to say, I was bitter towards women for a while. Then I realised that just like there are d*cks out there, there are b*tches. Not everyone is bad.

If you let one bad experience rule your life, you are simply adding to the unhappiness in the world. Move on. Learn from your experience...and pray you find the right one next time!:)

3rdpath
May 9, 2002, 10:22 PM
first,
i had a girlfriend break up with me while we were in another state(with her entire family) on vacation. and it was day two of a 10 day stay. and i was rooming in a condo with the family. and she started going out with a guy who worked at the resort on day three. man, that was a long and humiliating stay...and 8 hour drive home( in the family van ). its funny now but oh how i fely like my heart had been ripped out.

two,
i flew back to dallas from l.a. to visit my girlfriend. we had been apart since i moved 3 months earlier. so here i am at her house when the phone rings. she answers it and the conversation is just weird. so after she hangs up ask whats up and she's just silent..and that says it all. i ask who the guy was and how long they've been going out. while she's not talking... i repack my freshly unpacked bags and call my best friend( thankfully i still had friends in dallas) to come pick me up. and she has the nerve to say, " you're leaving, aren't you going to stay here and talk about it?" oh yea, gosh i'd love to stay and discuss you shaggin some other dude. so my buddy pulls up and i'm sitting on my suitcase in front of the house---and its my birthday... i kid you not.

man, did i have a lot to learn about myself.

hang in there eye. i feel for ya. you're right, have some fun this summer.

jefhatfield
May 9, 2002, 10:37 PM
i just came upon this thread...as you can see, we are here with our support for you

maybe you are meant to come out to california after all:D

eyelikeart
May 9, 2002, 10:46 PM
damn...

I didn't think to get this type of reaction from my pathetic story...

first off...thank u duke for encouraging me to even start this thread...and I've read your story....it sucks royally....u are completely right about honesty...and it's her loss at this point....but thank u for wishing me the best...

Beej...I am sorry to hear that an ex ran off with your best friend....that's gotta really be hard to deal with...

britboy...I honestly wish u the absolute best of luck....much better than I've had lately...long distance isn't easy....but for the record....I was more than willing to go on with this....she wasn't....

chmorley...thank u for the offer....surprisingly I'm taking this much better than I would have bet money on....I think I'm just a lot more mature than I was a few years ago and can understand what's the best thing for me at this point...but don't be surprised if I call upon your expertise... :D

Rower...that sucks @ss!!! the nerve of some b*tches!!! and I know there's the right one for me somewhere out there...I'm patient...he he he...

3rd path....damn man...how the hell did u deal with that?!

jef...u know....almost no thread is the same without your wisdom graced upon it...I think I am meant to go out to California....which airport shall I fly into??

;)

eyelikeart
May 9, 2002, 10:53 PM
ever heard the tune "That's Life" by Frank Sinatra??

oh man....what an icon he was....he he he :D :p ;)

jefhatfield
May 9, 2002, 10:55 PM
los angeles, san diego, or san francisco all are good areas for your skills

one has the movie industry, the other is a pretty large city with the best weather in california, and the other will hook you up with the meccas of apple and adobe...so it's a good state for a technically inclined artist as yourself

heck, even other major and medium centers such as fresno, bakersfield, modesto, san jose, santa rosa, monterey, santa cruz, san luis obispo, sausalito, and many other medium and large cities have opportunity

of course, the dot.com thing is not here anymore, but the rest of the high tech and artistic fields have work left in this state:D

Rower_CPU
May 9, 2002, 10:57 PM
Originally posted by eyelikeart
ever heard the tune "That's Life" by Frank Sinatra??

oh man....what an icon he was....he he he :D :p ;)

You can always count on "Ol' Blue Eyes" to have the perfect song for any occasion. "My Way" is another great one he really belts out...:D

eyelikeart
May 9, 2002, 11:11 PM
Originally posted by jefhatfield
los angeles, san diego, or san francisco all are good areas for your skills

one has the movie industry, the other is a pretty large city with the best weather in california, and the other will hook you up with the meccas of apple and adobe...so it's a good state for a technically inclined artist as yourself

heck, even other major and medium centers such as fresno, bakersfield, modesto, san jose, santa rosa, monterey, santa cruz, san luis obispo, sausalito, and many other medium and large cities have opportunity

of course, the dot.com thing is not here anymore, but the rest of the high tech and artistic fields have work left in this state:D

I swear...I'm coming out there this summer jef...

I'm already committing myself to mischief....and MacAztec.....but I'd love to come meet up with u or something as well... :D

eyelikeart
May 9, 2002, 11:13 PM
Originally posted by Rower_CPU


You can always count on "Ol' Blue Eyes" to have the perfect song for any occasion. "My Way" is another great one he really belts out...:D

oh hell yeah!!!

I really wish he was still around...I'd pay anything to see him perform...

glad to see another macrumor-head appreciates Ol' Blue Eyes as much as I do... ;)

Rower_CPU
May 9, 2002, 11:16 PM
Originally posted by eyelikeart
I swear...I'm coming out there this summer jef...

I'm already committing myself to mischief....and MacAztec.....but I'd love to come meet up with u or something as well... :D

There's a few of us San Diegans here on the boards who'd love to show you around town...:D

eyelikeart
May 9, 2002, 11:19 PM
oh hell yeah!!!

so where's the cheapest hotel where I can stay that isn't a complete roach motel?? :rolleyes: :cool:

Mr. Anderson
May 9, 2002, 11:22 PM
Originally posted by eyelikeart
damn...

I didn't think to get this type of reaction from my pathetic story...

Sometimes things like this can be a bit cathartic, glad we could help and hope you're feeling better. I'm signing off, talk to you all later.

eyelikeart
May 9, 2002, 11:26 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet


Sometimes things like this can be a bit cathartic, glad we could help and hope you're feeling better. I'm signing off, talk to you all later.

thanks man...

this really means a lot to me that u guys took time to talk about your experiences...

but just like in Swingers...

"everyday it hurts a little bit less....and then one day it doesn't hurt at all..."

see u tomorrow duke...he he he :D

3rdpath
May 10, 2002, 12:24 AM
try chet baker singing "you don't know what love is". no matter how you feel, chet sounds like he feels worse.....

Phaedrus
May 10, 2002, 01:47 AM
Chin up, eye . . .

I don't post very often, but I have read many of your posts over the last few months and have always enjoyed them.

I moved away from Austin, Tejas, last year for a woman. She screwed me over in three months' time (I was not entirely inculpable), and now I'm stuck in the Midwest, far from my beloved bluebonnets and those sweet Austin rockabilly chicks with their halter-tops, cowboy hats, and tatoos. Women around here, with rare exception, don't carve out interesting niche lifestyles, and on the whole their wardrobes (and sensibilities) are drawn from shopping malls. If you end up moving, eye, make that move to the coast--and not for any girlfriend.

eyelikeart
May 10, 2002, 07:51 AM
Originally posted by 3rdpath
try chet baker singing "you don't know what love is". no matter how you feel, chet sounds like he feels worse.....

oh yeah...Chet Baker is another....not as great as Frank...but I definitely get into it...he he he ;)

eyelikeart
May 10, 2002, 07:55 AM
Originally posted by Phaedrus
Chin up, eye . . .

I don't post very often, but I have read many of your posts over the last few months and have always enjoyed them.

I moved away from Austin, Tejas, last year for a woman. She screwed me over in three months' time (I was not entirely inculpable), and now I'm stuck in the Midwest, far from my beloved bluebonnets and those sweet Austin rockabilly chicks with their halter-tops, cowboy hats, and tatoos. Women around here, with rare exception, don't carve out interesting niche lifestyles, and on the whole their wardrobes (and sensibilities) are drawn from shopping malls. If you end up moving, eye, make that move to the coast--and not for any girlfriend.

hey it's nice to hear from u Phaedrus...duke had dug up an old thread of your's and I'd been wondering if u had been back around since? ;)

I am happy that I didn't get as deep into it as u did....but I was damned close to jumping ship for her! While women's wardrobes vary everywhere....I do think they are mighty nice on the westcoast...he he he :D

iGav
May 10, 2002, 07:57 AM
I don't know what to say eye...... :(

Keep smilin' though mate...... and don't forget to come visit England....... I'll shout you your first absinthe.......

All the best buddy...... :)

eyelikeart
May 10, 2002, 09:21 AM
thanks iGAV...I'm so looking forward to some real absinthe...

I just gotta get my ***** together so I can get out there....I've already pretty much planned a U.S. tour for the summer...but Europe is something I want to badly!!!!

oh...and in reference to the Macs & Beverages...I hit a bottle of Blackstone Merlot last night...he he he... :D