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50 office-speak phrases you love to hate

I hate it when people ask me "Working hard, or hardly working?"

*gnash*

..then again, it pleasantly amuses me at the same time because in my shallow mind I equate this IQ... for better or worse.
 
My wife's office doesn't like the term "retreat" to describe an all-day meeting to discuss long-term strategy. Instead they call it an "advance." Get it? Like, moving forward instead of backward? Doesn't that just incentivize you like crazy?

Drives me (and her) bonkers.
 
LOL - I got a couple of hostile looks in a recent managers' meeting, when the 'utter pillock who wishes he was in charge' (TM) used the word 'Incentivize'

My response was: 'Oh God - does anyone here speak English?'

Got a laugh from the two board members present, fortunately 😀
 
I'm not yet in employment, but here in school, teachers love using "hyperactive" to explain that a student cannot just sit still and listen.
 
One of the ones mentioned on the list in the OP is one that I loathe: "Let's talk offline about this" to mean "let's talk about this outside of this meeting." Ugh.
 
synergy, end-to-end, one-stop-shop... the usual suspects, usually uttered several times a minute by a client when they're shopping for a new agency. 🙄
 
My personal list:

"The fact of the matter is..."
"It is what it is"
"I'll ping you later about this"
"From a ____ perspective/standpoint"
 
iGav said:
... one-stop-shop.
Click to expand...

I hate alliteration and rhyme in the workplace. I've heard this one, too, several times even, in the ad spots we run where I work. Drives me nuts because they think it sounds so 'hip' and 'with it'..
 
At the end of the day
Think outside the box
The Net-Net result

just three that come to mind
 
i can't stand any of the 'office-speak' really, which makes me glad i don't have to put up with it as i'd forever be correcting people on their misuse of words. 😛
 
When someone says they want to 'reach out' to me, I want to reach out and wrap my hands around his/her neck.

'Let's talk offine' is really code for 'why the f*** did you bring that up on this call, you moron?!'😀
 
I hate "at the end of the day". Every time I hear that, I want to punch someone in the face, and that's my best friend's favorite phrase. 😀
 
"Please leverage the following resources" instead of "talk to these people".

I think the reason phrases like this are used is that people like to sound smarter than they actually are.

Cheers.
 
Every time I take a call from a vendor, I can GUARANTEE they will say "I just wanted to touch base with you...."
I want to hang up right then.
 
don't think you can beat "we need a holistic, cradle-to-grave approach"

that would meet with a response of "Stop talking utter bollocks"

thankfully I don't spend any time in meetings but for those who do

Meeting bingo
 
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