apples remote program crashes my phone. anyone else?

Use it everyday to manage a pc and mac and never had that problem. What iPhone/iPod OS are you using? Did you set it up to manage a PC or Mac iTunes?

Have you removed it, and re-installed it/updated to the latest version?

Means your phone's memory is probably full - the iPhone crashes the currently running app if memory runs low. To fix it, fully turn off your phone (by holding down the reset button until you get the "Turn off phone" slider, then sliding that), and then turn it back on again.