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krossfyter
May 19, 2002, 12:33 PM
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK JEDI!
...if you've ever said: "May the force be with y'all!"
...if your Jedi robe is camouflage.
...if you have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
...if your X-Wing is primer-colored.
...if you know what Ewok tastes like.
...if your land-speeder is up on blocks in your front yard.
...if you think the worst thing about Dagobah is "them dadgum skeeters!"
...if wookies are offended by your B.O.
...if you have ever used the force while fishing and/or bowling.
...if you have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in
through the window.
...if you kinda think Jabba the Hutt has a pretty good handle on how to
treat
the chicks.
...if you've ever heard someone say: "Luke, I am your father... and your
brother!"

Backtothemac
May 19, 2002, 04:03 PM
LOL. That is very good. Another would be.

....you have ever dropped you light sabre off the porch and killed more than three dogs...

Man, I cannot wait to see it.

firewire2001
May 19, 2002, 04:25 PM
XD... lol!

love it

King Cobra
May 19, 2002, 04:27 PM
Here's a bad one...

If you bring a beer to a Jabba interview... :D

Keep up the comedy, fyter.
__________________

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Working on 500 post signature...

Mr. Anderson
May 19, 2002, 04:42 PM
Good stuff krosfyter, you come up with all them yourself? I'll be sending that list out to some friends, so it might eventually get back to you by the time it makes its rounds across the internet.

krossfyter
May 19, 2002, 08:34 PM
nah duke...thats been sent to me. i though it was great so i put it on here.
thanks king cobra.

krossfyter
May 19, 2002, 08:39 PM
what the @@*#&

eyelikeart
May 19, 2002, 09:57 PM
Originally posted by krossfyter
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK JEDI!
...if you've ever said: "May the force be with y'all!"


u know...it there were a New Orleans version dictionary...it would have the word "ya'll" in it...

I didn't realize we had so many Jedi knights here! he he he :p

mc68k
May 19, 2002, 11:40 PM
Originally posted by krossfyter
what the @@*#&
That's the funniest cat I've ever seen (besides the description my friend gave me of a cat flattened in a classic cartoon style shape with a tread down it's back). Much better shock value than that infamous bikini picture (retch value=10). :eek:

3rdpath
May 20, 2002, 01:31 AM
now thats funny-but probably not to the cat....:)

britboy
May 20, 2002, 07:25 AM
That looks like one pitiful cat. I can't understand why it's just standing still though, and not trying to run for its' life?

The kitty cleo submitted looked better ;) :D

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 08:20 AM
One more

You know you're a jedi redneck when your X-Wing has a truck bed

eyelikeart
May 20, 2002, 08:22 AM
Originally posted by britboy
That looks like one pitiful cat. I can't understand why it's just standing still though, and not trying to run for its' life?

The kitty cleo submitted looked better ;) :D

I'm sure the cat's in a state of shock...he he he :D

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 08:47 AM
Originally posted by eyelikeart


I'm sure the cat's in a state of shock...he he he :D

Probably not, its just waiting, waiting till it can get out of the sink and clean itself really well with its tongue and not all that water and soap. Then make a really big hair ball from all the licking and leave it in your shoe for you to find later....

britboy
May 20, 2002, 09:34 AM
Originally posted by dukestreet
Then make a really big hair ball from all the licking and leave it in your shoe for you to find later....


Revenge is sweet....:p

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 10:12 AM
Hey krosfyter, I just realized you posted that cat picture in two different threads! Ha, it definitely was worth it.

Macmaniac
May 20, 2002, 11:02 AM
Poor Kitty!!!
Your a Jedi Redkneck when.....
You can't leave the room without killing somone!

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 11:32 AM
Originally posted by Macmaniac
Poor Kitty!!!
Your a Jedi Redkneck when.....
You can't leave the room without killing somone!

That's not nice! It would be more like

...you can't leave the room without farting!

cleo
May 20, 2002, 11:49 AM
Originally posted by krossfyter
what the @@*#&

That ***** cracks me up! I'm going to have to try to give my cat a bath tonight... :D

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 11:57 AM
Originally posted by cleo


That ***** cracks me up! I'm going to have to try to give my cat a bath tonight... :D

poor kitty, be sure to take pics cleo!

mischief
May 20, 2002, 11:58 AM
You've ever used the force to:


Lift a skirt.

Open a beer.

Lift/Work on an engine.

Enhance a belch.

Fool a Deer. (" There is no drunken Redneck with a Rifle over here"):D

Cheat at cards.

krossfyter
May 20, 2002, 02:15 PM
hot ddamn...enhance a belch.

krossfyter
May 20, 2002, 02:17 PM
thanks duke...its good to hear the snowflake kitty was worth it.


haha... lift a skirt!!


that more like the jedi playboy.

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 02:19 PM
Originally posted by krossfyter
thanks duke...its good to hear the snowflake kitty was worth it.


haha... lift a skirt!!

that more like the jedi playboy.

Nah, that would be more like teaching the young padawans to unhook bras with the force, or do some other things....;)

Now this is getting silly. But imagine the reverse, a female jedi? Hmmmm, that could be dangerous. Where's Cleo, she might have something to say here.

mischief
May 20, 2002, 02:28 PM
The Jedi mind trick has ever backfired.

Yoda greeted you with " I sense much inbreeding in you."

You built a double-barrel light saber.

Your light saber is held together with bailing wire.

Your land speeder has a bumper sticker that says:" Keep honking while I concentrate."

George Lucas had the "Jedi" theme/lick played on a Banjo for your entrances.

Your light saber looks like a mag-lite and uses the power packs from a light vehicle cannon.

Your brand of moonshine has Force-eminations.

Your X-Wing has a battle-cruiser drive unit strapped on with big custom chrome plasma ports and dual intercoolers.

krossfyter
May 20, 2002, 02:30 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet
But imagine the reverse, a female jedi? Hmmmm, that could be dangerous. Where's Cleo, she might have something to say here.



actually there are female jedi..... take a look....

britboy
May 20, 2002, 02:38 PM
Originally posted by krossfyter




actually there are female jedi..... take a look....


Is there such a thing as a female red-neck?

You might be a female jedi red-neck if.... you used the force to do the washing!
:D:D:D
*runs for cover*

cleo
May 20, 2002, 02:40 PM
Originally posted by britboy



Is there such a thing as a female red-neck?


Did I ever mention that my family is from south Georgia? "Female red-neck" doesn't even *begin* to describe it. Sometimes I think I'm adopted. :D

krossfyter
May 20, 2002, 02:41 PM
washing dude?!?!?!????

ill let that slide ..heh.:p


but yeah man... thats a femail jedi RED head. close enough I guess.


she could be from the sticks though!

mischief
May 20, 2002, 02:45 PM
Y'awl jus figg'red da clone wars wus awl jus some kinda fam'ly disagreement.

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 02:48 PM
Originally posted by mischief
The Jedi mind trick has ever backfired.

Yoda greeted you with " I sense much inbreeding in you."


Your a trip mischief!:D

Or your light saber was held together by ducttape

But the clones are the ultimate in inbreeding!

krossfyter
May 20, 2002, 02:51 PM
hahahahahahahahah

hahahahhahahaha


thats a real good one man...

" i sense much inbreeding in you"

hahhahahah

mischief
May 20, 2002, 02:59 PM
If your X-wing has an 8-ball shifter, overhead blaster rack, Fuzzy dice and goes"Budda..budda..budda....Vroom!!!"

If Jawa's frequent your front yard wanting spare parts.

If you've ever gone fishin' with a thermal detonator....

If you've got a Turask head mounted over your door...

If your speeder bike is louder than a Harley...

If you speak Hutt fluently only when drunk.....

Your moonshine has been outlawed in 4 systems....

If you were the first wise-@ss on Coruscant to use the expression "YEEEEHAAAAW"

If losing yourself in the Force is easy....... it's finding your way back that sucks....

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 03:06 PM
Originally posted by mischief
If your X-wing has an 8-ball shifter, overhead blaster rack, Fuzzy dice and goes"Budda..budda..budda....Vroom!!!"

The first dozen or so were great, but now you're scaring me. You seem to know too much about the redneck side of the force.....

mischief
May 20, 2002, 03:11 PM
You should see me do "Yo Mamma"s.

I'm just good at visual improvs.:D

jefhatfield
May 20, 2002, 03:11 PM
what exactly is the definition of a redneck?

i am from an agricultural county (the only one in central northern california that wasn't "ruined" by silicon valley and all those ugly warehouse style places of work

no matter how one tries to carry themselves around monterey county, we all somewhat resemble the beverly hillbillies

the ones who deny their oakie or farmer roots the most are the ones who most obviously look and act like rednecks

everybody else is the redneck and there is a lot of finger pointing going on

cool trends hit us last, there is not much in the way of style or fashion unless you consider ford trucks and suv's fashion, and don't you think the majority of us who work in the agricultural field would look stupid wearing armani suits and belonging to yacht clubs?

we are cowboys out west and no amount of eastern ivy league style education can change the way the vast majority of the people in our county are

and the redneck lifestyle is not just relegated to white people or farmers...there are yuppie rednecks and drugstore rednecks, too

...and there be a lot of sheep out here:p

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 03:22 PM
Originally posted by mischief
You should see me do "Yo Mamma"s.

I'm just good at visual improvs.:D

I'm just busting on you man, I love the quotes, don't stop.

mischief
May 20, 2002, 03:23 PM
Go rent "Joe Dirt" That'll explain it all......

It also applies to any idiot who's ever worn a pointy hood. There's a whole lot of VERY politically incorrect redneck jokes I'm leaving out....

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 03:33 PM
Originally posted by mischief
Go rent "Joe Dirt" That'll explain it all......

It also applies to any idiot who's ever worn a pointy hood. There's a whole lot of VERY politically incorrect redneck jokes I'm leaving out....

Yeah, but those pointy hood guys are just a subset of rednecks in general. They're more like zealots and we know your stance on that topic!

AlphaTech
May 20, 2002, 03:40 PM
You might be a jedi redneck if...

Your x-wing has a gun rack

If your land speeder does too... :D

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 05:48 PM
You might be a redneck jedi if you use your lightsaber to go 'coon hunting.

eyelikeart
May 20, 2002, 05:56 PM
u might be a redneck if u live in a mobile home...

but have 6 cars parked in front that aren't...


<eyelikeart sighs at this attrocity...bad....bad joke... :(>

AlphaTech
May 20, 2002, 05:59 PM
You might be a jedi redneck if...

You go fishing with a thermal detonator :D

King Cobra
May 20, 2002, 06:01 PM
If you think that Dark Helmet in Spaceballs is the real Dark Vader and you ask for his autograph...

Spaceballs is such a comical satire for the Star Wars theme. I have not seen a funnier old intergalactic movie since.

BTW, the Jabba interview was really "If you bring a beer to a job interview" by the master Jeff Foxworthy. BTW, this has been FYI so I do not get SUED.
__________________

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Working on avatar and new signature...
Planning to retire the current signature.

mischief
May 20, 2002, 06:36 PM
If your first impression of Yoda was "Lunch"......... and your second was "trophy"

If you have a whole squadron of TIE-Fighter decoys and an electronic "Imperial Thug" call.

If your suped up X-wing has a trailer hitch.

If your X-wing has a "You can have my light saber when you pry it from my cold dead fingers" bumper sticker.

If your X-wing has a gimbled combo beer holder and ashtray.

If you've ever built an Ion cannon just cuz you like the loud noise it makes.

britboy
May 20, 2002, 06:45 PM
Originally posted by mischief
Hah! and you thought i was finished!


You're like the duracel bunny! :D :p

jelloshotsrule
May 20, 2002, 06:47 PM
Originally posted by mischief
If your X-wing has a "You can have my light saber when you pry it from my cold dead fingers" bumper sticker.


haha. careful there. backdawg might have to have a talk with you about this one.... he's been known to say it. booyah

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 09:47 PM
Someone should compile the whole list once Mischief gets finished here, we'll have to post it somewhere. I know I'll be emailing it to a few friends.

D

krossfyter
May 20, 2002, 10:09 PM
hella job Mischief!!!


thats funny as hell man. gots to put them all together and send them out.

eyelikeart
May 20, 2002, 10:14 PM
Originally posted by britboy



You're like the duracel bunny! :D :p

mischief should have been on "Who's Line Is It Anyway"...

the guy cracks me up all the time..he he he...

actually...he made me laugh a lot during that bad week I had a couple weeks ago... :D :p

Mr. Anderson
May 20, 2002, 10:18 PM
Originally posted by eyelikeart

the guy cracks me up all the time..he he he...


I think its safe to say, hes got us a LOTFLOAO:D

Backtothemac
May 20, 2002, 11:12 PM
Originally posted by mischief
If your X-wing has a "You can have my light saber when you pry it from my cold dead fingers" bumper sticker.


Damn, oh well, I guess I am a red-neck Jedi....


You might be a redneck Jedi if....

The primary color of your X-Wing is bondo.

If you have three teeth in your head and none of them touch, and yet you have yet to ever be in any kind of fight.

If you have ever "done it" in front of a picture of the king himself Jedi Master "Richard Petty."

If you have every looked at your twin and though hey its like mas....

If you have ever thrown a pie a people for expressing their view....;)

Had to take a cheap shot...

Ducks for cover and draws his pie sabre.

mcrain
May 21, 2002, 10:20 AM
You just might be a Jedi Redneck..

.... if you just always assumed that Leia was somehow related to you

... but figured you could keep on dating anyway

Mr. Anderson
May 21, 2002, 10:28 AM
Originally posted by mcrain
You just might be a Jedi Redneck..

.... if you just always assumed that Leia was somehow related to you

... but figured you could keep on dating anyway

or

...if you always thought Leia was cute, but you really started to liked her when you found out she was your sister;)

mischief
May 21, 2002, 10:37 AM
If your light saber was built like a 6'-Bar chainsaw.....

If you have perfected the art of light-saber nosepicking....

If you have ever cleared Kudzu with said lightsaber....

If your X-wing has a Stars-and-Bars on the roof.......

If you can out drink Jabba the Hutt.....

eyelikeart
May 21, 2002, 11:18 AM
Originally posted by mischief
If you can out drink Jabba the Hutt.....

ha ha ha!!!! :D :p :)

u might find one or two of those deep within the French Quarter... ;)

Mr. Anderson
May 21, 2002, 11:41 AM
Originally posted by mischief

If you can out drink Jabba the Hutt.....

And just when I was beginning to think you didn't have anymore!

Although, no offense, but I think round one had the better entries.

mischief
May 23, 2002, 02:25 PM
If you've ever used the Force to light a fart.....

If you've ever used the Jedi mind trick to (ahem) fool a sheep....

If your Jedi Name still comes up "Cletus-Ray"......

If your midi-chlorion count is about the same as your BAC.....


I have a whole bunch more but they're not exactly public-forum material.:eek:

Mr. Anderson
May 23, 2002, 02:33 PM
Originally posted by mischief
If you've ever used the Force to light a fart.....

If you've ever used the Jedi mind trick to (ahem) fool a sheep....

If your Jedi Name still comes up "Cletus-Ray"......

I have a whole bunch more but they're not exactly public-forum material.:eek:

Oh, post them and use substitutions!

How is it possible you came up with more, and good ones at that, you are a machine!

AlphaTech
May 23, 2002, 02:36 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet


Oh, post them and use substitutions!

How is it possible you came up with more, and good ones at that, you are a machine!

Machine, or tool??? That is the question. Forget that "to be, not to be" crap... :D

You could always post them in the private forum, for all the demi-gods to see... heh heh heh

mischief
May 23, 2002, 03:01 PM
If your Padawan training involved farm machinery....

If you have ever branded livestock with your lightsaber.....