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mgargan1
Jan 3, 2004, 12:56 AM
anyone else in this forum tired of being single? I've been single for too long, and i miss being in a relationship soo much...

This is kinda weird to put this in a thread, but I'm just venting, and am very bored, so I'm just talking here... anyone else feel tired of being single?

CMillerERAU
Jan 3, 2004, 01:21 AM
...Tell me about it. I go to a school which is, at best, 80% guys. At times I like to say it's a good thing because I can focus on school, but still! My New Year's resolution is to look into asking one of the few girls I know at school out. Last I checked she was available. She promised to take me out drinking for my 21st birthday (Jan. 1st) when school starts next week. Perhaps I can get my foot in the door then!

mgargan1
Jan 3, 2004, 01:36 AM
good luck to you man... and happy birthday... as well :)

Mav451
Jan 3, 2004, 01:39 AM
ah another MDer :)

I too am single, but am i tired of being single? Yes and no. Don't try to force the issue...forcing anything is usually a bad thing. I think it is more of an opportunity thing -- if there are any "what-ifs" in your thoughts, those should be changed to "how did it turn out" =D

mnkeybsness
Jan 3, 2004, 02:00 AM
i just got broken up with for another lame reason... there wasn't any "romance" in our relationship. let me tell you, i tried taking her out on romantic dates all the time, but all she wanted to do was sit around and watch a movie or makeout. i didn't complain, but the fact that she is the one who thinks there is no romance is horrible since she is the one who prevented any.

i've had far too many bad experiences with girls, so now all that i do is complain about them... "girls are the devil"...

...but then again... there is always the one that got away. we were always on the verge of getting together, but were never able to. now we go to different colleges and she's had a guy for about a year now. i get to hang out with her over this next week... hopefully i don't let my feelings for her get the best of me... i don't want to ruin what she's got already... or do i? he he he (evil laugh)... no seriously i wouldn't.

i have always had a hard time being single... i'm not looking forward to... well... NOW.

wdlove
Jan 3, 2004, 11:44 AM
I enjoyed being single till the day I got married. Don't really remember having any problem relationships.

agreenster
Jan 3, 2004, 12:16 PM
I'm married to an awesome lady!

(neeener neeeener neeeeeeeeener!)

:D

Hang in there, someone will find you! (notice I didnt say 'you'll find someone')

iGav
Jan 3, 2004, 12:36 PM
move to Nottingham.... women out number men there by a ratio of 3:1 ;)

Mr. Anderson
Jan 3, 2004, 12:46 PM
Just don't put pressure on yourself in trying to not be single. That path only leads to desperation - most women can smell that a mile away and you'll end up even worse off. ;)

Just act cool and relax and let things happen - and if you're just not meeting new people, have you ever thought of an online service? They're really good since you can actually talk to the women before you meet them and get to know if you're somewhat compatible. And, most importantly, they're all looking for someone as well. No worrying if the current infatuation you have has a boyfriend :D

D

mactastic
Jan 3, 2004, 12:55 PM
It seems like the only time I've had decent relationships has been when I'm comfortable and happy being single. I guess it helps to bring a complete person to a relationship instead of someone who "needs" something out of it. You gotta have you own friends, your own activities and interests and then find someone who matches those at least to some degree. Just my 2.

In the mean time, you might peruse through this thread. (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23924&perpage=25&highlight=masturbation&pagenumber=1)
:D

eyelikeart
Jan 3, 2004, 01:02 PM
Originally posted by iGAV
move to Nottingham.... women out number men there by a ratio of 3:1 ;)

take me with u... ;)

Kingsnapped
Jan 3, 2004, 01:06 PM
Man... when I saw the title of this thread, I thought it was about processers. Good luck.

Sayhey
Jan 3, 2004, 01:18 PM
Recently divorced, not tired of it at all.

eyelikeart
Jan 3, 2004, 01:52 PM
So what exactly prompted this topic?

I've been single pretty much for a year & a half now, having dated a few people here & there. It's nice only having myself to watch over, but everyone gets lonely from time to time.

bennetsaysargh
Jan 3, 2004, 02:25 PM
i dunno.
being only 14 going on 15 i don;t think i know anything about relationships. most people are saying things like i love you and making out at 12 now, and im kinda creeped out by that.

if people keep on going at this rate our grandchildren will be making out at nap-time :eek:

but that has nothing to do wit this topic at all. now for something on topic.:p

you should be happy about being single because you might miss it if/when you get married.

Daveman Deluxe
Jan 3, 2004, 02:44 PM
Well, I'm not strictly tired of being single, but I definitely would like to be going out with somebody. I'm at a point where I'm not ready to get married, but it's something I'm really looking forward to.

I've been thinking lately about how much easier it is post-high school though. If I liked a girl in high school, it was really hard because we were all stupid and immature. I would have to ask around if she's going out with anybody, get my friends to talk me up, keep an appropriate distance for a few days prior to asking her out, I'd have to figure out the perfect place to ask her and all this other crap that made it all really stupid.

I'm in college now, and it's much easier. Check if she's wearing a ring. If not, ask her out. If she's going out with somebody already, share an awkward laugh, give each other space the next day and things are good again.

I asked out a bunch of girls in high school and with the exception of one time it was never a positive experience, largely due to all of the theatrics involved.

Freshman year in college I completely gave up on the dating scene anyway because I was so disillusioned from my experiences in high school. This year, I decided to ask a girl out that I met just before the school year started, and it was about a million times easier than before (still nervous, of course). I actually asked her out a couple of times but she had family stuff going on and couldn't go. The third time she was available, but she had caught on that I was interested in her and was kind enough to be direct with me and said no. For me, it was a positive experience because she and I both handled it really well. She and I are still really awesome friends--one of the best friends I've ever had at least. :D

I still want to go out with her, but I'm not too worried about it. I'm interested in her but she doesn't feel the same way about me and there's nothing sinister or evil about that. It's just how it goes sometimes.

I'm not strictly pissed off about being single, but I do get tired of being passed over for guys that are better-looking than me. I've got personality, money, but am merely average looking so I get shafted a lot. Two out of three isn't bad, but only if one of those three is rugged good looks.

I'm SO glad to be out of high school. :rolleyes:

Grimace
Jan 3, 2004, 02:54 PM
love...or at least a relationship...most likely creeps on you when you least expect it. Sometimes at the most inconvenient times.

iGav
Jan 3, 2004, 03:25 PM
Originally posted by eyelikeart
take me with u... ;)

it's the only reason to go there.... :eek: :p :p

Mr. Anderson
Jan 3, 2004, 03:30 PM
Originally posted by bennetsaysargh
you should be happy about being single because you might miss it if/when you get married.

sure, you might miss some aspects of being single, but as a married man, I'm glad for it and wouldn't want to be single again....;)

But then, marriage isn't for everyone anyway....

D :D

Dont Hurt Me
Jan 3, 2004, 03:40 PM
Im not a religious person in fact not even close, but i do think if you ask god or pray to god if you will about it he can open doors. this is what i did years ago and somehow it just happen. I dont want to spill all the details but just the fact that my wife and i cross paths is almost a miracle or a bunch of coincidences all lined up. in fact when we talk about it it almost seems strange. be patient and pray even if you dont think of a personal god which for me is hard to believe in but i think there is a universal god that can set things into motion. i may be wrong , i may be right but its worth a try. what do you have to loose.

johnnowak
Jan 3, 2004, 03:40 PM
Originally posted by CMillerERAU
...Tell me about it. I go to a school which is, at best, 80% guys. At times I like to say it's a good thing because I can focus on school, but still!

Transfer to NYU. The girls are GORGEOUS, 70% of the school is female, and they don't have California syndrome. Most of them will probably eat you alive though...

Myself I've been in a relationship 2+ years. It's nice, but then again I can't touch any of those girls! ;-)

wdlove
Jan 3, 2004, 03:40 PM
Originally posted by eyelikeart
So what exactly prompted this topic?

I've been single pretty much for a year & a half now, having dated a few people here & there. It's nice only having myself to watch over, but everyone gets lonely from time to time.

Is there a new definition for single now eyelikeart? Does single also mean not currently dating? I was single, single for almost 25 years.

iGAV has a great suggestion, if you go to Nottingham maybe you will find your maid Marian.

agreenster
Jan 3, 2004, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by johnnowak
... and they don't have California syndrome...

Ooooooh. C.S. Partly good, but mostly bad.

And yeah, dont rush into things. You may be bummin' right now, but everyone meets someone. Give it time. Freshman in college is still VERY young.

krossfyter
Jan 3, 2004, 11:09 PM
ehh...

to me getting with a woman is opening the door to another broken bridge. just as it starts death and entropy start too. its just like life... as soon as you are born you start dying. what a pesimisstic and bitter way of looking at this issue i know. i dont completley believe in it... it just feels like this for me at the moment. i mean i know that a great life enhancing cookie cutter american pie relationship can exist... its just i have been currently expierencing the opposite. ... and i did pray to God (thinking God sent me the one) and i did wait and 2 times i wasnt looking for anyone... ive been there done that being a good guy stuff (not saying i want to start being a mean one). Its just that the concepts of entropy and broken relationships are such a a big part of my life (at the moment) . I am better not even getting with a woman at this stage of my life. As soon as I get with a woman ... the process of creating another EX begins. Who wants another EX???? I sure as hell don't. Its not like i try hard to create one either... its also not like i am the problem or the other party is the problem... i am not even going there. I am just sharing with you all what I am thinking about on the issue at the moment. I hope to God I do find the right one some day... but I am not going to stress out my life trying to search for one.
If in when I do meet the right one for me I like to think that a certain song will be the perfect one for that time in my life. The song is called "Sweet Miracle" and its by Rush.


I wasn't walking on water
I was standing on a reef
When the tide came in
Swept beneath the surface
Lost without a trace
No hope at all
No hope at all

Oh - sweet miracle
Oh - sweet miracle
Of life

I wasn't walking with angels
I was talking to myself
Rising up to the surface
Raging against the night
Starless night

Oh - sweet miracle
Love's sweet miracle
Of life

I wasn't praying for magic
I was hiding in plain sight
Rising up from the surface
To fly into the light

eyelikeart
Jan 4, 2004, 12:13 AM
Originally posted by iGAV
it's the only reason to go there.... :eek: :p :p

aw hell yeah... :D

eyelikeart
Jan 4, 2004, 12:26 AM
Originally posted by wdlove
Is there a new definition for single now eyelikeart? Does single also mean not currently dating? I was single, single for almost 25 years.

It's just my way of defining I suppose. I haven't been in a longterm relationship in near 2 years I suppose, but have non-seriously dated a couple people during that time...maybe a month or two.

Make better sense? ;)

Powerbook G5
Jan 4, 2004, 12:37 AM
Ever since getting a girlfriend, I've noticed a downward spiral in both my grades and my bank account. I went from an A/B student to just barely getting by with a B/C and getting very close to broke more than a few times. I guess it's a necessary evil. I too have had some really terrible relationships in between a period of a year or two between girls, but I have been with my current girlfriend for 15 months now and it really seems to be going strong. She is fun and interesting, she doesn't mind my geeky side who loves Star Trek, she owns an iMac, she loves fast cars, and best of all, she has tolerated me for well over a year. Can't ask for much more than that. I used to think that I'd never find the right girl, either, but once you do just let go and give up, you generally find that girl you were looking for. Good luck, I hope the best for you.

pseudobrit
Jan 4, 2004, 12:54 AM
Originally posted by Powerbook G5
Ever since getting a girlfriend, I've noticed a downward spiral in both my grades and my bank account.

I used to accept such conditions too, and I can say with absolute certainty I never will again.

Me first, her second. Why? Because I know I won't ever dump me.

Set your goals and limits and stick to them. Look at it this way: if it's meant to be, you'll be married after about two and a half years of dating. Then you'll have you whole lives to spend together. Why the rush and distortion of your life?

BTW, I'm currently seeing a girl who lives about 200 miles away. It's bloody fantastic. I can drive out every now and again and do my own thing for 98% of my life. Plus I get to concentrate the good times. There's no awkward state of having nothing to do for a date.

Powerbook G5
Jan 4, 2004, 12:57 AM
Spending time with my girlfriend is a lot more entertaining than doing a 50 page thesis paper contrasting the placement of the acts of Jesus in the three synoptic gospels or doing three court case briefs for my law class, though. ;)

pseudobrit
Jan 4, 2004, 01:00 AM
Originally posted by Powerbook G5
Spending time with my girlfriend is a lot more entertaining than doing a 50 page thesis paper contrasting the placement of the acts of Jesus in the three synoptic gospels or doing three court case briefs for my law class, though. ;)

My Playstation is more entertaining than going to the gym and practicing hockey.

But I'm aiming to go into a minor league in 1 1/2 years, so guess what I end up doing?

Don't worry about what's fun so much as what's important to you. (see my edit above for my current situation)

iJon
Jan 4, 2004, 01:31 AM
this may sound cheezy but check out this site. www.askmen.com. i read it along time ago and read it more after i split with my girl of 2 years. that site has taught me alot and ive learned all the mistakes ive made in the past relationship and how to make my next one better.

iJon

g30ffr3y
Jan 14, 2004, 10:44 AM
if youre tired of being single... try reading "my sad story i can only tell you guys" thread... trying to find the right person is hard as hell!!!

krossfyter
Jan 14, 2004, 11:37 AM
trying to find the right person is like trying to find my style in painting.

rueyeet
Jan 14, 2004, 12:02 PM
Originally posted by mnkeybsness
i just got broken up with for another lame reason... there wasn't any "romance" in our relationship. let me tell you, i tried taking her out on romantic dates all the time, but all she wanted to do was sit around and watch a movie or makeout. i didn't complain, but the fact that she is the one who thinks there is no romance is horrible since she is the one who prevented any.

Next time, you might want to consider that different people have very different ideas of what's romantic. Romance doesn't necessarily have to fit the standard definitions--candy, flowers, soft lighting, jewelry, nice restaurants--but really consists in caring enough to find out the dumb idiosyncratic things that put a little light in your girl's day, and doing those things for her. Flowers etc, for me, have always been a "bet you do that for all the girls" proposition--a one-size-fits-all solution that shows a guy sees me as another "girl" rather than seeing ME.

Also, as someone who's been hit on by far too many needy guys (that's what I get for going to sci-fi cons!) I can tell you that it's pretty easy to tell a guy who's only talking to you to see if he can get somewhere, even if "somewhere" is just a date that they hope will lead to other things. It's something in the eyes, and in the undercurrent in the voice. I dunno. But I can generally tell when somebody wants something, and thinks I just might be an acceptable way to get it, vs. thinking I'm just an interesting person to speak to. The more an agenda underlies your attempts, the more it shows (unless you're a truly manipluative SOB).

Can't say I'm tired of being single, as I'm currently dating, but I don't mind being single much, even for extended years-long periods. Pseudobrit's right up my alley on that one:

Originally posted by pseudobrit
BTW, I'm currently seeing a girl who lives about 200 miles away. It's bloody fantastic. I can drive out every now and again and do my own thing for 98% of my life.

Substitute "currently seeing a guy who lives an hour away in Northern VA" and you've got exactly why I'm happy with my current situation--well, except for all the driving itself. :) (yep, another MD'er here.)

jxyama
Jan 14, 2004, 01:09 PM
Originally posted by Powerbook G5
Ever since getting a girlfriend, I've noticed a downward spiral in both my grades and my bank account.

kinda opposite for me. we both save together... she discourages me from eating out often and i discourage her from buying random stuff at the mall. :D

finding a partner is kinda interesting... i went 20 years with not even a date, then got a gf for 8 months, break up, 2 years later meet two girls in 3 months, the latter girl lasts for a year, a 3 year draught then connects with a girl i had known for three years. we are going strong at 2+ years now...

so it's frustrating, but be somewhat proactive... and keep your fingers crossed.

also, pouring your heart and soul into a relationship is definitely different from blinding yourself and/or acting semi-desparate. if you connect with someone, make a sincere effort to get to know the other person and how he/she fits in with your life/taste/etc. pouring undue money/effort into the wrong kind of partner, but convincing yourself early that the partner is "the one" is stupid. but if he/she is worth it, then by all means, do all that you can...

virividox
Jan 14, 2004, 02:07 PM
ration may be 3:1 but the ratio doesnt include how many girls are nice to look at :D

fugeelama
Jan 14, 2004, 02:54 PM
Originally posted by Kingsnapped
Man... when I saw the title of this thread, I thought it was about processers. Good luck.

hahahahahaha i thought the same thing!

themadchemist
Jan 14, 2004, 04:26 PM
I think this sudden upsurge in threads related to self-pity, depression, and sadness is a direct result of Apple's failure to provide its users with the necessary biennial hardware fix. It's all withdrawal, really. Don't worry, things might look dark now, but there will be PB g5s, iMac G5s, and 3 GHz dualies soon, and everything will look much brighter.

In the meantime, let's draw up a class action against Apple for submitting us to this physical and emotional torture.

g30ffr3y
Jan 15, 2004, 12:16 PM
i think a dual 3gig G5 would cheer me up!!! and load it with logic pro 6 so i can say adios to digidesign...

cpjakes
Jan 15, 2004, 01:17 PM
Originally posted by johnnowak
Transfer to NYU. The girls are GORGEOUS, 70% of the school is female, and they don't have California syndrome. Most of them will probably eat you alive though...

Myself I've been in a relationship 2+ years. It's nice, but then again I can't touch any of those girls! ;-)

Hah! Agreed... I finished a grad program there a year or so ago and it is quite the place for eye candy. Brings back memories...

But personally I have to agree with the thought that it's good to be a whole person before looking into a relationship. That's why rebounds don't work in my mind. People looking for what they had with someone else, but you can't transfer that, it has to be developed.

And taking that time to settle with yourself gets you two things:
1 - A coherent relationship that's about the relationship, not one of the members.
2 - The ability to continue as your own person with your own circle of friends. Because if a couple does absolutely everything together, what will they have to talk about five or ten years from now???