my sad story i can only tell you guys...

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
now im going to fall victim to you guys telling me i have no right to even try to have a relationship til i sort out my own demons...

I wouldn't say that.

that im no good for anyone til im good for myself

I'd say that. You're always number one in your social life, and don't lose sight of that fact.

i treat C like ****** gold... i dont want to lose her...

Ironic because usually treating a woman like ****** gold is why you lose her.

i want to feel good... i adore being around her and we are a good couple... i cant screw it up... so how do i back off without backing off???

Here's how:

When I bought my car, I went in with a calculated post-holdback price I was willing to pay and a set of features I was looking for. I was flexible on colour and one or two features, but I was willing to walk away if the price or financing were $5 or 1% more than I was willing to offer.

I was not going to be flexible. I was willing to walk away at any time.

This is how you need to view a relationship. Do not become so attatched that you would do anything to get what you want (the relationship to continue). You will sacrifice things without realising it.

So back off, live your life and see her once or twice a week for a few months. If you need to find an excuse to get her to back off, join a gym or pick up a sport or join a club or volunteer somewhere. Find something to occupy your time outside of work. Make dates -- actual dates -- not just spending time together lying around watching TV.

As far as the pills/booze/not eating is concerned, I smell melodrama.

[john123]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
As far as the pills/booze/not eating is concerned, I smell melodrama.

Yeah and it's been simmering for quite a while now....

[mj_1903]

Not eating is not cool, for your physical state and your mental state. Your brain simply can't function correctly on no food and doping it up with pills and alcohol definitely aint going to help that situation.

Hell, this entire thread sounds like a call for help. Taking advice from other people can be good (although I never do, I like learning my own lessons), but here is what I say you should do:
- Start eating and start eating healthy. If you are being lazy, change it. If you are fussy, stop being fussy, there are millions of people who are starving right now.
- Stop taking pills (well the Feds are doing that anyway), but don't worry about alcohol too much.
- Get into the gym or some sort of sport. Having the blood flowing is a great way of making you feel good about yourself and removing negative emotions, including anxiety.
- Get out of your rat race cycle if you can. Work -> Home -> Sleep -> Work -> Home -> Sleep is a perfect place to brood unhappiness
- Chill out with your gal. Suffocation in relationships is all too easy. Let her make the moves and you follow if you want, some gals like that. Do not talk about serious stuff though, if the serious stuff occurs, talk about it then, but not before.

Feel free to ignore me of course, my life is different than yours, hell I live 10,000 miles away.

[themadchemist]

Originally posted by john123
Dude -- protein mixes? Assuming you drink plenty of water (so as to avoid kidney stones), protein is extremely healthy. Especially if it is a substitute for red meat proteins.

ok, fine, that may have been a stretch, but I'm skeptical about all that GNC crap.

[g30ffr3y]

this'll be short and sweet as im in the process of returning my mac to its previous state... if youve been following you know that ive put a new hard drive in and simply installed panther nice and clean like... i feel like i got a new mac... im really just trying to hold over for a dual three gig g5 once they come out... which is fine if we dont see them for a year since ive still gotta pay off my powerbook...

i didnt really feel like working today... i knew that yesterday and took a personal day to relax... work on my computer... clean my house... etc... i will see C today as she has the day off as well... but were going to go do stuff...

i did see her last night... my friend S [male] also was over hanging out so that was cool... once he took off C and i watched season three disc two of the family guy... that show is just too great!!!

anyways... instead of taking ephidrine, nuprin, vivarin, aspirin, alcohol, excedrine, xenadrine... blah blah blah... im just cooling out on nothing... realize guys that i hate taking stuff... but i always have headaches... im always tired... i think i should just take friggin vitamins... i would like to be healthier... ill admit i had a bad day yesterday... i was rather prickly to a lot of people who didnt deserve it... my posts here we a little darker than they shouldve been... even C noticed that i just wasnt quite right... i needed today off...

anyways... i do the occassional push up or sit up or jumping jack type thing... i tried for a while to get into DDR on the playstation... i have this big pad thing you jump on [or dance on if you have coordination... which i dont] but that didnt work out... i get mad shin splints... my ankles are all wrecked... in high school i played vollyball, basketball and pole vaulted so its not like im the epidemy of a sloth...

no melodrama on the self medications i promise...

i would surely lose any game of chicken... although... hmmm...

so why would you lose a girl for being nice to her??? i have been witness to girls who seem to enjoy getting walked on... ive been less nice in previous relationships... but why are they like that???

"- Get out of your rat race cycle if you can. Work -> Home -> Sleep -> Work -> Home -> Sleep is a perfect place to brood unhappiness"

doesnt it suck that life turns into exactly that when your not looking... i was more than happy to add C into the mix... i guess i should add even more things...

alright... im going to install some more software...

"ill be back"

[pseudobrit]

You live in Buffalo, right? You should try hockey -- skating's easy on everything but your hips and it's a great anaerobic workout.

You do an occasional exercise? That's more worthless than doing nothing at all, because it makes you fell like you're being healthy. Unless you exercise at least three days a week, you're wasting your time. And by exercise, I don't mean doing sit-ups and jumping jacks. I'm talking about being drenched in sweat with your heart rate at a sustained 160 BPM at least three days a week. It takes less than an hour to get a very good workout in. Shin splints can be alleviated with proper stretching.

I don't get hungry; I have no natural hunger reflex, so I don't usually eat as much as I should either, but I try to take the right supplements to compensate and end up forcing myself to eat more often and eat wisely.

You should certainly be taking a men's formula multivitamin, especially if you're not eating well.

[g30ffr3y]

lack of eating was not the issue yesterday ill tell ya!!!

so yeah... C came over around two or three yesterday... i was plugging away at my mac trying to transfer some video off an old HD... 36 gigs took over three hours... ouch... but anyways... this was first official G & C day of fun... i had taken a personal day from work so this was going to be worth it...

what pray tell does geof do for fun with a new [now officially] gf???

goes to the supermarket for toilet paper... yes toilet paper as i have been out of it for about three days... you all may find this odd... well absurd i think is the best word for me... but you havent been to the grocery store with me... it is always an adventure... we also tried to rent some dvd's as i just got a buy one get one coupon that very afternoon in the mail... and get some snacks...

we wanted cabin fever and freddy vs jason... cabin fever was out... and at the request of the lady was substituted for uptown girls... which i cannot complain too much about because britney murphy is hot...

anyways... after that we stopped off at the local... flame on... liquor store where i nabbed a litre of beefeater in a nifty box with a swell promotional glass... and some mcdonalds...

we ate hung out played some MK drank had an awesome time... established the bf gf relationship as official... once my videos transfered i subjected her to my old band shows for a while... we ended up only watching freddy vs jason and not til 11.30pm... we got a pizza also...

everythings happy about this day... or was it... we were talking about how much adversity we had already been through... how much everything has worked out... she dropped the bomb that D had indeed been trying to call her every few days... plummet... she said that she would always try to keep it short and sink the idea in his head that all is lost... i wont get all involved in everything we talked about... it involved both our insecurities... fears... all that hoopla... we talked about slowing down... we agreed that we cannot go backwards... the feelings are too strong... she didnt leave til after two and everything was resolved in a big emotional cresendo...

we shall see at least... she'll be at the workplace in a few hours... i dont expect any issues... were supposed to watch uptown girls tonight... im going to work on my quicksilver for a while when i get home... i have my powerbook at work today... its still in its case just to the left of me... i think im going to go play with it...

[patrick0brien]

-g30ffr3y

Well, this sounds like a "Good Thing"©. Good idea in declaring yourselved with the official label. At least she now has a standard to live up to.

Also good for you to keep an eye to the grassland.

Have you shared with her your concerns in this regard to her past behavior? Might be a good idea to voice it - at the least so she knows where you are coming from.

And do it sooner rather than later.

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by patrick0brien
-g30ffr3y

Well, this sounds like a "Good Thing"©. Good idea in declaring yourselved with the official label. At least she now has a standard to live up to.

Also good for you to keep an eye to the grassland.

Have you shared with her your concerns in this regard to her past behavior? Might be a good idea to voice it - at the least so she knows where you are coming from.

And do it sooner rather than later.


actually its been done... i told her that i was suffering from the thought that i stole her away from someone else and that if she was going to leave me to please just do it and not sneak around with someone else... i would like to believe that ive never been cheated on... that all my relationships have ended just between the two of us... i have no reason to doubt that from my ex's... i dont want her to be the first... C understands where im coming from with that... the fact right now is that WE want to be together for as long as this will take us... a lot of stuff came out last night... a lot of stuff i hope doesnt have to come up again... and a lot of stuff that i want to come up often... she said we should be argueing about which movie to rent or whats for dinner instead of all these trust and insecurity issues... we are both somewhat insecure... i probably more than she... i think we crossed the bridge though... so long as we can accept the fact that each of us are quite attached to the other and cut the disbelief we'll be alright...

[patrick0brien]

-g30ffr3y

Good. Sounds like you are off on the right foot.

But remember - always communicate. Raise it when you have an issue, before it becomes a problem, before it becomes resentment.

It's also good you recognize that going over 'dead horses' isn't a good thing.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by patrick0brien
But remember - always communicate. Raise it when you have an issue, before it becomes a problem, before it becomes resentment.


bingo patrick, bingo... no surprise though wiseman. hah

i've found that miscommunication is the cause of 90% of problems in relationships... and the "good" thing about that is that it's fairly easily fixed. if the only reason you're upset at each other is because you thought the person meant one thing or another, or because they didn't tell you one thing or another... then all you have to do is talk more. share your feelings...

i suppose in some relationships there are limits, or should be, but in general i'm all about the 100% open style

open marriages are cool.

[themadchemist]

someone should compile g30f's comments (narrative, not responsive) into only long post (or a couple), so that newcomers can be sped up. We could make it sticky or open up the soap opera category and inaugurate it with this difficult story. i'm not making light of it...sorry.

[g30ffr3y]

that would be the jam madchemist... i didnt think you were making light of it... for anyone new to this story... it is a heck of a lot of reading and people can get confused as to where i am regarding my relationship...

when C got to work today... no one was paying attention so i gotz me a big azz kiss hello...

ive been playing on my powerbook d/l stuff for my coworkers and showing off iphoto and how easy it works with even my modest digital camera... one of the other CSR's said shes going to call her dad and have him get her a mac... she has the same camera and it wont work with her ****ty windows...

also... last night C and i were trying to come up with a plan to get her dell back to dell and get her into an ibook... which she wanted in the first place but didnt think she could afford it... instead she got an 1800.00 brick... sure it runs well... but it just isnt a mac... couldve got a cheaper ibook... tsk tsk... shes had it too long though... drat... next time she will have a mac... oh yes... she will have a mac... actually i guess her dad is and always has been a total mac head... it was only because of AOL many years ago that she got a compuke...

anyways... id be willing to go back through this and copy and paste all my posts to one big file... but how would i through it up on macrumors??? i dont know what making it "sticky" is either... sorry guys... i just post stuff...

btw... no pills today... just water and chicken and some other yummy stuff... its friday too so maybe ill get a fish fry for dinner... i do so love friday in buffalo...

[wPod]

yeah, speed up the new comers please! read the first post and it all sounds interesting. i've been in a similar situation but in a college setting, except i did nothing with the girl, she leaves school after a yaer goes back to cali (damn california girls) and breaks up with her bf. thus, i regret not doing anything cause she ended up breaking up with her bf anyway. carpe dium (or whatever, i dont speak that language) seize the day. but do keep in mind, if she gets needy after a day or two of her bf being gone shes probably really high maintenance. heh. well im going to try to catch up on all the reading. . .

[g30ffr3y]

hey guys... not much exciting going on... yesterday at work though C and i did manage to sneak out the back door for a minute... it was not the super secret spy mission i had hoped it would be... the door was blocked by a foot of snow... so there i am making quite the ruckus trying to get it open... then i fail to realize once we get back inside that our shoes are covered in snow... way to go captain obvious... but it was pretty fun anyway... and we didnt really get caught... not that it matters...

i ended up going to a friends to watch the sabres game... we ordered a pizza... they failed to cook it properly... it had been rotting in my stomach til about two hours ago... i skated out of there just before the end of the game... C rang me up... we had plans to watch some movie... it was pretty fun outside of my horrible stomach pain... she was really nice about it... i didnt even have to get up to do anything... shes pretty much figured out my home theatre which was somewhat impressive except for when she tried to eject a dvd from my [puke] xbox by pressing the infrared port on the dvd remote module... i had to direct her slightly to the left to the eject button...

shes working today... we have plans to meet for lunch/dinner in a little bit... then once shes out of the vile workplace for good im sure well do something... one of my other co workers last day is today and everyone is meeting up at some dive bar later... maybe ill do that...

i told you it wasnt exciting... everthing is going good still...

i posted this under the panther discussion... but maybe one of you guys knows...

i somehow managed to change something so that now my hard drive capacity and space remaining is displayed underneath my drive icons... how do i change that back... ive been digging around and cant quite find it again?!?!?

thanks guys...

[CelticBhoy]

1) where can we C a piccie of see ?

[Xero]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
i somehow managed to change something so that now my hard drive capacity and space remaining is displayed underneath my drive icons... how do i change that back... ive been digging around and cant quite find it again?!?!?

thanks guys...

click on the desktop, then go to "View > Show View Options" its one of the check boxes in there.

good to hear things are going well too. i stil think you are seeing a bit too mucch of each other, but whatever floats yer boat.:)

[g30ffr3y]

there is a pic of her on my .mac page... its maybe a page back in this thread... ive yet to update it because im still getting my computer back to where it was before i started messing around with it...

we hung out tonight... we do see a lot of each other but my buddy S was here too so... no big deal... tomorrows the super bowl... this should prove interesting... i didnt really even know who was in it til friday a coworker clued me in...

i should sleep...

[themadchemist]

Man, I need a girlie...It seems so interesting. On the other hand, now I can see why they hurt one's grades so much.

g30f, focus on you a little bit, too. Don't let this chick **** up your program.

[g30ffr3y]

so ill just start with sunday mourning...

ive been wanting a dvd/vcr combo for a while now... basically i was waiting for this sony one i kept seeing to come down in price but now with C moving into her own place i wanted to give her my xbox so she could play games and watch dvds... or so i could when im over there...

i was flipping through this whitetrashmart circular and saw a phillips one for like 129.99... no details were given so i looked it up online only to find that it didnt have optical audio outs... but walmart actually had the sony one too... and for about 20 bucks less than most anywhere else... so i went for a ride... guess what... NOTHING... dang... so i drove to another walmart... NOTHING... and another walmart... NOTHING... so i just said F it and went to best buy... i got a gift card for there anyways for my wall painting at work...

they did have the sony... five of them... all open box buys... returned... i had read that people were having problems with these... but since it was a sony i was willing to give it a go... but not after seeing five returned at best buy... so i started poking around and ended up with a somewhat respectable toshiba one with all the fancy ins and outs... for less money... cool... i also managed to pick up a dvd for my brothers bday and a cd [gODHEAD] for me...

i get home all excited about my new toy... clean out my entertainment cabinet... rewire everything all nice... turn on my tv... everythings cool... flip a few channels and i get a noise which i can only type as bbbbbbzzzzzzzuuuuuuuu... and now my tv [53" sony... yeah sony... not HD or anything... 2 years old in fact] is dead...

if you guys have gathered anything about me... i tend to over react from time to time... plus its like 530... the stupid bowl is on soon... C hadnt called yet... i was supposed to hear from her by like four... finally she does call... i go off about how bad of mood im in... how i ruin everything... ill ruin her if given enough time... i tell her to run for her life... etc... etc... im acting like a total idiot... she doesnt give up on me though... so i hooked up my 19" tv and C comes by for the game... we talk... everythings ok... we agree that new england should win since thats at least closer to us...

i will say that the third quarter was about the best quarter of football ive never seen...

anyways...

after new england wins we go wendy's... hehehe... good times... beefeater... chicken sandwiches... football... of course some family guy... right on...

moving on to today...

[themadchemist]

I'll preface this by the fact that I know absolutely nothing about anything and that I have absolutely no experience with anything. But read on, anyway, because my words are inspired by those who know absolutely everything about this and have had absolutely infinite experience with it. Well, almost.

First off, stop spelling 'morning' as 'mourning'! I know that you know how to spell the word 'morning,' so please do it correctly. That's part of it--pessimism. There's nothing to mourn. Jeez. Be happy. Call it the morning, the break of a new day, the dawn of a new you. Whatever. Be creative, be trite, be an elephant, whatever you've got to do to stop mourning things when there is nothing to mourn.

Anyway, I'm glad to see you indulged yourself a little bit. Keep in mind that in even more serious terms, you should think about your career, where you want to go in life, etc., and to keep this relationship in perspective. Don't tell me you'd sacrifice anything for this girl, because I doubt she would for you. Treat her well, of course, treat her very well, but don't punish or deprive yourself, either.

Also, please try not to be so melodramatic. Really, stop internalizing the things that go wrong in your life. Learn to lash out at others, blame them, and consider yourself free from culpability from time to time. Of course, often you're guilty of what you've done, but you've got no problem in recognizing this. Your problem is in thinking that everything that goes wrong is your fault.

The TV broke because you broke it. Don't think of it like that. The TV broke because Sony is cutting costs in order to maximize its profit margin because of the bad economy, caused by short-sighted fiscal policies, whose negative effects have been exacerbated by the international terrorist threat. Damn Sony, trying to make money. Damn the economy, for faltering. Damn the government, for its bad decision-making. Damn the terrorists, for weakening the economy and diverting government funds toward defense. Yes, precisely. You were the victim of a terrorist act. The terrorists broke your TV. Not you. The terrorists. Bastards. :D

You take too much responsibility. Blame the system. Blame the social structure. Blame the boss. Blame the MAN. Blame someone, something, anyone, anything, but stop blaming yourself for everything!

You get the picture.

[g30ffr3y]

i had inventory to do this mouring... which is a pain since its all serialized... yuck... bright and early at 8.30... that went well though... then i get this news from one of my sales reps that i have to go with her and do a presentation for some company that wants PDA phones... this is supposed to be casual and relaxed... well...

first off... i had no idea that i had to do this... i had no time to prepare... i couldve at least dressed better... but no... unbenounced to me i am now helping to sell things... or at least sorting out the super high end technology of palm os [note sarcasm] to the masses... note i was actually super busy today which is why there was no update this mourning... but anyways...

so we have to go around eleven... i have a few phones to work on... i had just got some UPS to deal with... and now i have to leave... I AM PISSED OFF at this point... but i go...

this is some venture capitalist firm... not overly relaxed... in a board room with about ten people... and theres me and this idiot sales rep trying to convince these folks to go with us and our lovely PDAs... but it does go well... we ended up signing seven of them right off the bat... alright... so this is good... i even mention that the one is mac compatible if there were any mac users... they said that they werent... i said "i feel sorry for you then" they just looked blank at me and one person said that "they looked cool" but i digress... i spit more propoganda at people than the third reich and the catholic church put together...

i hope i didnt just piss anyone off... i was simply making a colourful comparison... please dont take offense as i am neither a nazi nor a satanist... just some guy who likes sexy computers and his wonderful girlfriend...

back at the ranch... my thank you for going out of my way... hmmm... no one even attempted to help out while i was gone and i was absolutely slammed... it took me a few hours to dig out but i did... i also had some choice words for my ASM who failed to mention this sales gig...

at this point im starving so i go over to the local grocery... gots me a chicken sub and some soup... and some sunkist... mmmmm... orange soda... i wouldve got generic but the real deal was on sale... i looked for pepsi itunes but nothing... not a single one anywhere... WHAT THE F?!??!?!

C calls me from work... was wondering what i was doing for lunch... she was going to subway... i told her what i was up to and i would meet her back and we could eat together... : )

we had a nice lunch... but then we were acting silly and i smacked her on the behind... [this is common... it all comes from a line from the family guy "nothing says good job like a firm open handed smack on the ass" im not weird or anything... well i am weird... but not in this case...] and one of the CSR's totally catches us... eek... she doesnt do anything but smirk... but were laughing our arses off... then in my office our friend B who knows anyway went on to tell us that everyone knows anyways and that we are obvious...

how could we not be though... how could be expected... feeling the way we do about each other... to not exhibit some signs of closeness whether it be lunching or just chatting a little extra... at least no one caught us sneaking out the back door... that was fun...

anyways... so thats that... i get to go home in twenty five minutes... C'll [i made up a new contraction... awesome!!!] be over later... were going over to the video game store where my buddy has a copy of the gamecube version of zelda... zelda two and the ones from the n64 me thinks... waiting patiently to play on my 19" tv... oh the horror...

the tv repair people will be out wednesday between 9 and 1... dandy... 50 bucks just to look at it... once again... for the final time this series of posts... WHAT THE F?!?!??!

things are good.

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by themadchemist
First off, stop spelling 'morning' as 'mourning'! I know that you know how to spell the word 'morning,' so please do it correctly. That's part of it--pessimism. There's nothing to mourn. Jeez. Be happy. Call it the morning, the break of a new day, the dawn of a new you. Whatever. Be creative, be trite, be an elephant, whatever you've got to do to stop mourning things when there is nothing to mourn.

You take too much responsibility. Blame the system. Blame the social structure. Blame the boss. Blame the MAN. Blame someone, something, anyone, anything, but stop blaming yourself for everything!

You get the picture.

i spell mourning that way... it started in '99 when my little band made an EP... it was called "the mourning after" and had so many meanings behind it... i would feel unlike geof to type morning... but you are right... my perspective on most everything is better now than it was in 99,00,01,02,03... maybe ill try... just dont call me a sell out...

i do take responsibility for lots of stuff... i saw the tv as a signal... i tried to prevent my own happiness by sending C away... i try to live thinking that i dont deserve to be happy at all... C is trying to show me that i can be happy... that things may go wrong from time to time but just because one thing goes wrong it doesnt mean the world is going to end for me... the sick part is that im starting to believe her... i guess thats not sick at all... i guess thats actually wonderful... which is how i feel most every time i even see her face... i have never believe anyone when they say certain things to me the way i believe her... she has this incredible sincerity... she is quite remarkable... i dont know how i got so lucky really...

will i get flamed for that??? for being so gushy??? being too attached??? being blind??? i am none of those things... this is so very real and im going to do my best to ride it out as far as it will go... ive gotta stop pushing... start pulling... but on an elastic band because weve gotta breathe... but weve also gotta be what we are... and that is AMAZING!!!

crap im happy... : )

oh yeah... elephants rule...

[themadchemist]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
i spell mourning that way... it started in '99 when my little band made an EP... it was called "the mourning after" and had so many meanings behind it... i would feel unlike geof to type morning... but you are right... my perspective on most everything is better now than it was in 99,00,01,02,03... maybe ill try... just dont call me a sell out...

i do take responsibility for lots of stuff... i saw the tv as a signal... i tried to prevent my own happiness by sending C away... i try to live thinking that i dont deserve to be happy at all... C is trying to show me that i can be happy... that things may go wrong from time to time but just because one thing goes wrong it doesnt mean the world is going to end for me... the sick part is that im starting to believe her... i guess thats not sick at all... i guess thats actually wonderful... which is how i feel most every time i even see her face... i have never believe anyone when they say certain things to me the way i believe her... she has this incredible sincerity... she is quite remarkable... i dont know how i got so lucky really...

will i get flamed for that??? for being so gushy??? being too attached??? being blind??? i am none of those things... this is so very real and im going to do my best to ride it out as far as it will go... ive gotta stop pushing... start pulling... but on an elastic band because weve gotta breathe... but weve also gotta be what we are... and that is AMAZING!!!

crap im happy... : )

oh yeah... elephants rule...

Well, if this girl is teaching you to take things easy, then that actually IS wonderful. If nothing else comes from this relationship, at least hold on to the self-confidence you're gaining.

As for 'mourning.' Yeah, I just felt that it was a bit of a negative. If it's got some sort of special significance, that's cool. I had just been wondering since you started the thread why you spelled it that way. Now I know. But if you have reached the morning after mourning, then perhaps the symoblic change in spelling will be good for you.

Anyway, learn a thing or two from this girl, I'd say. As you said, ride it out as far as it will go. That sounds like a plan. Just don't hold on too tight and don't leave yourself behind.

And yes, you probably will get flamed by someone for being too gushy. But I won't flame you for that.

and yes, elephants DO rule. It is an absolute fact. In fact, it is essential to the "Grand Unifying Theory." (man do I love cross-thread references)

[themadchemist]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y

this is some venture capitalist firm... not overly relaxed... in a board room with about ten people... and theres me and this idiot sales rep trying to convince these folks to go with us and our lovely PDAs... but it does go well... we ended up signing seven of them right off the bat... alright... so this is good... i even mention that the one is mac compatible if there were any mac users... they said that they werent... i said "i feel sorry for you then" they just looked blank at me and one person said that "they looked cool" but i digress... i spit more propoganda at people than the third reich and the catholic church put together...


sorry for the double post...

Salesman's Notebook-Tip #247:
Don't question a customer's purchasing decisions regarding any product but your own.

Salesman's Notebook-Tip #343:
If you can sell your own product, you've done more than enough. Don't try to pass on your favorite toy, too.

Salesman's Notebook-Tip #476:
When you tell rich venture capitalists that you feel sorry for them and their poor purchasing decisions, they tend to become unhappy.

Salesman's Notebook-Tip #479:
When prospective customers become unhappy they tend not to buy your product, but to buy your competitor's instead, causing you double losses.

[g30ffr3y]

"this machine will, will not communicate
these thoughs and the strain i am under"

"one day i am going to grow wings
the chemical reaction
hysterical and useless
hysterical and letdown"

ive switched from pushing her away to just plain running away on my own... i guess im just not meant to have personal relationships... where did this all come from? last night utterly sucked royal arse... nothing is right... im just immersed in suffering... sorry to have wasted everyones time...

ill be around asking how to fix all my mac problems...

g5 + logic or bust...

[cpjakes]

For the sake of the forum, and more importantly - yourself, explaining a bit of what happened might help... Don't mean to pry, but it's been pretty much an open book all along...

cpjakes

[g30ffr3y]

she just came to talk to me here at the vile workplace... i didnt have anything to say to her except... "go work i dont have anything good to say"... if she asks me to do something tonight im going to say no... i need to get my bearing back... for everyone that said we spent too much time together... we didnt... well maybe yesterday we shouldnt have hung out... but now i know... its time to not see so much of each other... the bubble has burst... the plane is crashing and if there is to be any survivors then i need to walk away from the wreckage for a while...

as far as the events of last night... nothing unusual really... i got home from work and got my protools and reason playing together nicely... she came over after work... we went out to the EB world so i could get my zelda gamecube disc... got back to my house... watched the second half of american idol... pretty much in silence... i just wanted to watch the tv... the tiny sad little tv... as my glorious broken tv sat in the corner... another thing that makes me friggin sick to my stomach to think about... i just wanted to chill out... i really just wanted to be alone... watched the big fat obnoxious fiance show... pretty much again in silence... she was going to leave after that... but she didnt... so we watched blind date... i did at least acknowledge her existence at this point... then she was going to leave at 11... but we were talking... before i knew it i asked her to stay for the 70's program since it was the one based around star wars and i didnt want her to have to miss while driving home... and then leno was on... and before i knew it... it was two... finally she left... i didnt even see her out... once she was gone i was just swearing at myself about this and that...

"spinning... im spinning so far from control
watch me i cant breathe i feel decieved i feel diseased"

i just need to do my thing for a while... all the while i was doing my own thing i wanted someone by my side... now i just want to be alone again... im just a big crazy... and im getting sick... so im working on tylenol severe cold thanks to a kind sales rep... it feels like theres a brick of mucus in the middle of my face... cpjakes... your from buffalo... you know what the weather is doing...

im going to have some soup for lunch and a baguette... yeah... thats the best thing ive thought of all day...

[Dros]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. But you don't need to piss people off to achieve it. Maybe some people giving you advice will think this is pandering to your gf, or not being the one in control, etc, but if you have been spending all your time together, you can't just say "go away".

You can say, "Let's get together this weekend." That will let her know you aren't just bailing out of the whole thing, and you aren't writing her off. You can make a point of not being with her, but then giving her a call if you think you can manage to say something halfway decent and considerate and ask about her day. You can show up at her door, give her some flowers, and then speed away. You can plan on doing something fun and different when you do get together. That way, you can spend some alone time and you don't end up mistreating someone you care about and someone who cares about you.

I'd say your feelings are typical for someone going from zero to 60 in one week. You do need time to regroup. But don't destroy something just because you need a few days.

[shadowfax]

a) stop quoting radiohead. make your own life.
b) stop using ellipses. compose yourself.

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by shadowfax
a) stop quoting radiohead. make your own life.
b) stop using ellipses. compose yourself.


the entire letdown song has always been my anthem.
street spirit is just amazing... as is bulletproof... i listened to too much radiohead this morning... my apologies...

the "spinning" bit was actually from something i wrote... ive posted my own writing in this thread... sometimes its just better to quote others when they've said it as good as it can be said... plus others... such as the people on this thread could at least place the quote and see its context if they are familiar... which i assume some would be with radiohead... certainly more than bands ive been in...

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by Dros
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. But you don't need to piss people off to achieve it. Maybe some people giving you advice will think this is pandering to your gf, or not being the one in control, etc, but if you have been spending all your time together, you can't just say "go away".

You can say, "Let's get together this weekend." That will let her know you aren't just bailing out of the whole thing, and you aren't writing her off. You can make a point of not being with her, but then giving her a call if you think you can manage to say something halfway decent and considerate and ask about her day. You can show up at her door, give her some flowers, and then speed away. You can plan on doing something fun and different when you do get together. That way, you can spend some alone time and you don't end up mistreating someone you care about and someone who cares about you.

I'd say your feelings are typical for someone going from zero to 60 in one week. You do need time to regroup. But don't destroy something just because you need a few days.


dros... youre right on with your advice... shes moving this weekend and i was going to help her... plus i would get to build her futon [sp?] and coffee table which would certainly be fun... im not trying to piss anyone off... im NOT going to get into an emotional flurry at work... i can avoid that as at least im grounded in my thinking... i just need to regroup... its only tuesday right... the tv people will be out tomorrow morning so hopefully [crosses fingers] that will bring some good news... or at least news because right now its just a big broken hunk of crap...

blah... its time for lunch...

[tdhurst]

Does anyone know how to STOP being notified about a thread you have posted to? This one just WON'T END.

[jelloshotsrule]

go to your user cp... it shows your subscribed threads

and now back to drama fest 2k4. macrumors style

[tpjunkie]

just be glad you're not subscribed to the drunk thread. ;)

[shadowfax]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
the entire letdown song has always been my anthem.
street spirit is just amazing... as is bulletproof... i listened to too much radiohead this morning... my apologies... radiohead is awesome. they are my favorite band, hands down. but their music DOES NOT make for good anthems. not if you want to be a healthy, reasonable person.

but if you must make it an anthem, pay attention to the words. if your life really does always end up drivel, don't get sentimental. :p

[themadchemist]

This thread has been relatively quiet for a while...Don't tell me the show is over! I paid for 3 seasons, at least. I'm sure with the ratings this one's getting, the network isn't dropping it prematurely.

I demand redress!

[g30ffr3y]

how about we call that the cliff hanger...

anyways... so i didnt see her tuesday... instead i sat around miserable all introspective and gloomy... not miserable because i wasnt with her... i needed the day to myself to get some stuff out of my system... no not pills... just my mentals were all screwed up... i needed distance... what i got was sick insomnia and a night of utter hell...

wednesday i showed up at work... we had the same shift... she was not pleased with me for shutting her out... i basically just told her tuesday that she couldnt come over and i wanted to be alone... when she asked for a reason i told her that would be defeating the purpose of me spending time alone... i didnt want to get involved in conversations... i didnt want much of anything... all she wanted to do was help and i wouldnt let her... so we spent the morning in a massive tension... i knew she wasnt going to reach out again just quite now so i emailed her a trite "so what is the resolution" these emails went on for the next hour with eventually me telling her that i was unreasonable for even believing i could talk to her... then i left to meet the TV guy at my house...

they have to pick up my TV next monday and take it in... it should end up costing 300.00 or so... im not pleased... but i came to find out that i won 100.00 on the first quarter of the super bowl... so i guess i can deal... i want my TV back 19" does not cut it... i want to play zelda one on my big TV damn it!!!

ok so back to work... its now around noon... C emails me asking about the TV as well as replying to my rude email about not talking to her... she is beyond sweet and sincere... i couldnt shut her out any longer so the next time she had to come back where i work we talked a little... then a little more... then our management team left for a meeting so i crawled out of my little room and visited her up front... then for some reason i ended up helping some customer and *CLICK* my mentals went back in line... i told C i felt like i just woke up from the worst nightmare i could remember... i was back to normal basically... all that was left to do was pick up the pieces from my otherwise arsehole antics over the past three days...

we continued the work day quite pleasantly always trying to get in that little chat or quick hug... pretty much everyone working busted us at some point... but really know one gives a rats arse what i do... i think my actual manager is the only one who doesnt know at this point... or maybe she does... who cares really...

C got me lunch and we ate together... the day wound down... we were going to get together afterwards... she did go home first though which gave me a chance to grab some bagels and a french vanilla cappuccino for diner... when she finally arrived i was playing my acoustic watching TV...

we talked more about exactly what the heck i went through and put that behind us... the rest of the night was awesome... she asked me to play guitar for her though... which i totally had to decline... i would be soooooooooooooooo nervous considering i really dont even know how to play... i guess im not horrible... but i couldnt do it... after she left i played like an MF though... and kicked myself for not just playing for her... i mean... shes heard my old band stuff and wasnt appalled... im such a woose... we ended up falling asleep together for a couple hours on my couch which was amazing... ive never really been able to sleep near anyone else... i get all crowded... but C... i just wanna be close to her... she ended up leaving around one...

this morning i woke up with the same clear head i had last night... i got myself motivated and stopped at the grocery store before work... i bought C some cookies... wrote her a little note and put it in her drawer for when she gets here... which should be in about twenty-five minutes... i got some orange juice also... which i hear is better for you than nuprin... vivarin... sominex... ephedrine... etc... which may i had i havent had any contact with in days...

so that would be that for that i guess... you guys should be all caught up... now ive got to figure out what the heck to do for her for valentines day... i want to get her blue roses but they dont really exist... i figure ill write her a song... get her some stuff and maybe cook diner or something... i havent had to deal with valentines day in a long while... we declared that our official anniversary is january 29th... there were a few days in question as to when exactly we got togehter... but in the end... things were said on the 29th that just made it right...

anways... ive got some work to do... and some OJ to drink... : )

oh... no more radiohead quotes for a while i promise...

[patrick0brien]

-g30ffr3y

One thing about the music. She's not asking for Maestro, she just wants you to make music for her. It's the act, not the result.

[mj_1903]

Hey, good to hear your surviving. :)

At least, better than me and my gal, we just discovered she has Leukemia at the ripe old age of 18. :(

[themadchemist]

Originally posted by mj_1903
Hey, good to hear your surviving. :)

At least, better than me and my gal, we just discovered she has Leukemia at the ripe old age of 18. :(

I'm sorry to hear that. More options for treatment are becoming available, and hopefully further research will make it easier on your girlfriend than that terrible disease has been for people in the past.

I wish both of you the best. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by mj_1903
Hey, good to hear your surviving. :)

At least, better than me and my gal, we just discovered she has Leukemia at the ripe old age of 18. :(


im so sorry... i wish you every blessing there is to bestow...

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by patrick0brien
-g30ffr3y

One thing about the music. She's not asking for Maestro, she just wants you to make music for her. It's the act, not the result.


i know... i just get nervous... sure i can sing and put on a good show in front of a club full of people with lots of effects and a band behind me... but to play for her just me stripped down to an acoustic is scary as hell... im sure she'd love it no matter what... but i dont want to disappoint her...

[themadchemist]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
i know... i just get nervous... sure i can sing and put on a good show in front of a club full of people with lots of effects and a band behind me... but to play for her just me stripped down to an acoustic is scary as hell... im sure she'd love it no matter what... but i dont want to disappoint her...

Understandable...But don't try too hard to impress people, it won't get you too far, will it?

Actually, I really have nothing substantial to add to the thread, but couldn't resist issuing the 300th post to this monumental, legendary if you will, thread. :D

[g30ffr3y]

monumental... im so flattered my little story has drawn so much attention...

id like to thank the academy... my mom and dad... god... the fine folks here at the vile workplace for not making me work so i could post all these long posts... A, B, of course C, D for being such a schlep and letting a great girl go... everyone at macrumors... apple for making such darn wonderful products... ummm... if im forgetting anyone im sorry... i love you all...

more to come...

[AhmedFaisal]

Originally posted by mj_1903
Hey, good to hear your surviving. :)

At least, better than me and my gal, we just discovered she has Leukemia at the ripe old age of 18. :(

Damn, that's really unfortunate... I don't want to butt in with unwanted advice but there is the molecular biologist in me wanting to say something (yes, I am outing myself as a PhD student in that subject right now). DON'T let them give her the sissy stuff like Vincristine. From my knowledge it is in more cases responsible for even worse untreatable relapses than it actually kills the cancerous cells (depends also what type of leukemia she has, there is a whole lot of different types) but go straight for the heavy stuff. Its more painful but the chances are better for really killing it on first strike and that is what you want to go for, don't let the doctors ************ with you.
Cheers,

Ahmed

[mj_1903]

Originally posted by AhmedFaisal
Damn, that's really unfortunate... I don't want to butt in with unwanted advice but there is the molecular biologist in me wanting to say something (yes, I am outing myself as a PhD student in that subject right now). DON'T let them give her the sissy stuff like Vincristine. From my knowledge it is in more cases responsible for even worse untreatable relapses than it actually kills the cancerous cells (depends also what type of leukemia she has, there is a whole lot of different types) but go straight for the heavy stuff. Its more painful but the chances are better for really killing it on first strike and that is what you want to go for, don't let the doctors ************ with you.
Cheers,

Ahmed

She has ALL and the doctor says the prognosis is not good, as its just a little late in the detection. She is taking so many drugs and having so much chemo that I wouldn't be able to tell you what she is having, but I am looking to get her sent to the US to a clinic that specializes in Leukemia, I just need to do some more research in that department.

Thanks everyone for your support, shes a tough gal so we are all hoping she pulls through.

Now enough of me hijacking the thread, back to the real story...

[pseudobrit]

I somehow think that resentful feeling of being crowded is going to return.

That was reality creeping in, not a nightmare. What you did was go back to dreamland, not wake up.

[john123]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
I somehow think that resentful feeling of being crowded is going to return.

That was reality creeping in, not a nightmare. What you did was go back to dreamland, not wake up.

I'll second this...

[g30ffr3y]

the nightmare i spoke of was my own mental collapse... it is unfortunatly not uncommon for me to break down in such a manner... i told her that before i her i could just live my life... nothing changed... nothing was all that good and nothing was all that bad... now with her im subjected to this new flood of insecurities... worries... so forth and so on... not that i dont want a relationship... but its going to take some adjusting and acceptance...

im definately not in dreamland... there isnt that glossy glow over everything anymore... i find myself even being kind of prickly... the reality of it all is sinking in... not to say that reality is bad... but now we're getting to the real relationship... which had to happen eventually anyways... you cant live in dreamland... im happy it crashed now though and not in three months when we probably would just exploded and never got to this point...

yesterday i had a little chat with her about her appreciation and consideration of me... i found her getting a little out of bounds... the relationship was maybe heading in a lobsided direction... so i had to realign things for her... sorry... this post is sort of ass'y... i was in to work too early today and find myself in a vile mood... not down... just negative with my attitude...

overall our night last night was ok... friends and ER were new... i kinda nudged her out around 11.30... im helping her move this weekend... we have fun plans for sunday so im looking forward to that...

im gonna stop here for now...

[Dippo]

I don't understand what is going on, are you breaking up with her?

[pseudobrit]

He's getting sick of her. She's too clingy, methinks. There is an imbalance in the relationship because they rushed into it headfirst. Now there's some resentment and discomfort.

He was warned...

[g30ffr3y]

tonight was a good night though... A, B, C, me, my brother and my other friend all got together... i should be on the drunk thread in my condition... but i just wanted to say that... no im not breaking up with her... im just relaxing a little... the initial gloss is off now and we can really get to know each other...everythings good... shes moving tomorrow and it should prove to be a fun weeknend... although who knows... it is moving...

[kiwi_the_iwik]

Goddamn it!

A typical male reaction to a relationship - you're "rubber banding"...

Just when we guys start to get comfortable, we pull away. It's a natural occurance, so don't panic. You have to reassure her though, otherwise the signals will get mixed. It happens because men have a tendancy to lose sight of their own boundaries and "-isms" - the things that make us who we are. So, what we do is run away to "find ourselves" again. It may not be a physical move, but sometimes only a mental one - just enough to give us some space, and to take appraisal of the situation.

What we inevitably do is decide where we are in our lives. After all, we are given this "comfort zone" with our chosen partner - and it feels unusually good. Why does it make us happy? Will the bubble burst? Should I be concerned about where I'm going? What reservations do I have? Is my independence being compromised?

Don't fight it, though - you need the space. Explain to her that "you'll be back" - that it's just something that we men DO. The POSITIVE thing about acting like a rubber band is that when you return, you usually feel recharged, and ready to give yourself more to the relationship.

Bottom line - give yourself some space to do your OWN thing. Join a sports club, a Gym, or go out with OTHER friends. Break up the routine, and you won't have to act like a piece of elastic so often.

;)

[Dippo]

Originally posted by kiwi_the_iwik
Just when we guys start to get comfortable, we pull away. It's a natural occurance, so don't panic. You have to reassure her though, otherwise the signals will get mixed. It happens because men have a tendancy to lose sight of their own boundaries and "-isms" - the things that make us who we are. So, what we do is run away to "find ourselves" again. It may not be a physical move, but sometimes only a mental one - just enough to give us some space, and to take appraisal of the situation.

Maybe it's just that we miss spending time by ourselves doing things (like posting on MacRumors) which we can't do if we have to pay complete attention to the fem at all times.

It's like when my girls around, you will never seen me on here :)

[themadchemist]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
He's getting sick of her. She's too clingy, methinks. There is an imbalance in the relationship because they rushed into it headfirst. Now there's some resentment and discomfort.

He was warned...

I never would have figured she'd be too clingy. I imagined it would be him.

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by themadchemist
I never would have figured she'd be too clingy. I imagined it would be him.

That's what I thought too; it's shifted. At first I think it was both of them. But if you look at the pattern, now she's the one who keeps coming over to see him.

[themadchemist]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
That's what I thought too; it's shifted. At first I think it was both of them. But if you look at the pattern, now she's the one who keeps coming over to see him.

Very true. What I think would be perfect for him now is if he could have a lot of work to take home during the week, so that he could keep to himself more without making her feel as if he didn't want to see her. "I'd love you to come over, honey, but I really have to finish this up..." Then he could just see her on the weekend. The space might do them good.

This stuff should probably be approached like a Venn Diagram instead of a single circle. Instead of them cramming both their lives into one space, they should (at least, for now) have two separate lives that intersect over some common area.

[john123]

Originally posted by themadchemist
Venn Diagram

This is one term I never thought I'd see here....

[themadchemist]

Originally posted by john123
This is one term I never thought I'd see here....

Sorry, but 2nd-order nucleophilic substitution was probably less likely.

[groovebuster]

g30ffr3y, you are really a ****ed up guy!

I am so happy that I found my soulmate in my wife and that I don't have to deal with those sick people in the dating game anymore who make everything complicated for nothing... like you! And there are more than enough girls who are just the same...

Get well.

groovebuster

[themadchemist]

Originally posted by groovebuster
g30ffr3y, you are really a ****ed up guy!

I am so happy that I found my soulmate in my wife and that I don't have to deal with those sick people in the dating game anymore who make everything complicated for nothing... like you! And there are more than enough girls who are just the same...

Get well.

groovebuster

now that really wasn't very nice, was it?

[Mr. Anderson]

How is it possible this thread is still going on?

The MacRumor Soap Opera Thread? :p

D

[scat999999]

And you will probably regret this the rest of your life.
So she's been dating this guy for a long time? Obviously things weren't all that terrific or a) after 3 years they probably would have gotten married already. Or b) She wouldn't have been hitting on you.
I could see backing off if this guy was one of your best friends, but you don't owe him a damn thing.

Maybe there's still time to salvage things. ;)

[g30ffr3y]

back for more...

that condensation idea is sounding better and better... this thread is pretty long and extremely different from when it started...

for anyone starting on this page... C and i are exclusively together... officially as of january 29th, 2004... this thread has turned from the C, D, G love triangle to C and G attempt to have a relationship...

so after fridays super fun get together... waking up saturday morning was not fun... but i did and arrived over at C's current residence around 10.15am to help her move... i dont know if ive mentioned this... but she was living with her grandparents... so i met them... and her aunt... im generally not "good" with new people... i get freaked out and culture shocked... but they all made me feel pretty welcome and it wasnt so bad... C had to run out and do an errand while all this moving was going on... go figure... so i was even left with her peoples unguarded...

anyways... we packed up the cars full of stuff and scooted over to her new apt... unloaded it... i got to see the new place for the first time... its very open... very empty... is very cool... makes me almost jealous that i am such a pack rat and have so much useless crap... oh well...

anyhow... after that C, me and the grandparents went for a lunch break... then packed up the last of the stuff... her guinea pig and some stuff for the eventual cat [probably wednesday]... unloaded that and C and i were left to our own devices... so... we partied a little bit and went grocery shopping... got some blow pops... who doesnt need candy in their new place... and other necessary items... and we acted like idiots which was super fun...

upon returning to the explosion that is C's apartment in its current state we just chilled out... i began assembly of the futton of doom... fairly easy project... she worked on the kitchen and bathroom... got that all taken care of... i set up my ipod with some computer speakers as a stereo which sounded pretty F'in good actually... i was pretty beat after all this... around 10.30 i wanted to bail since we had plans for the next day... i really wanted to go home to sleep... or attempt to sleep... my body was drained... she seemed pretty sad... wanted me to stay with her the first night in the new place and all... i can understand... when i moved into my house alone just six months ago... i thought i would always just be alone... at least she has me... but i did leave...

and i didnt sleep very well...

[g30ffr3y]

ever onward...

three am... im still looking at the clock... i didnt feel well... i thought to call her but had hopes she would be safely sleeping and didnt want to disturb that... the last time i saw must have been four thirty or so...

my brother called me around 12.45 sunday... so i woke up then... i probably wouldve slept til five if i had the chance... before i could do anything at all i had to shovel my front walkway since the TV people were coming monday [today actually... but ill get to that]... shovel my arse... instead it was chop through two foot deep ice and then move it over... so that sucked... and after nearly collapsing i cleansed myself and called up C... i decided i wanted chinese food so i proposed that to her and was on my way...

i get over there... dead F'in tired... we eat and chat... the apartment is in very similiar condition from when i last left and she seemed to be under the impression that it would look that way for months... she wasnt comfortable... it didnt feel like home... again... i could absolutely relate... so yeah... i started in on building the coffee table... i told her it would be done in fifteen minutes because i was the furniture ninja... fifteen minutes later... there was a coffee table... good times...

anyways... im VERY organized... so i got the whip cracking on her box situation... and low and behold before she knew it... she had a pretty set up apartment... we took the garbage out to the dumpster... everything was nice and clean... i alphabetized her cd's... good day...

the rest of the night we just spent talking and stuff... it was nice... i took off around 12.30 since i had to be at the vile workplace at 8.30... tomorrow at 7.00 which totally sucks... but thats that for the weekend...

im going to lunch now... maybe ill be back with a monday day update and some comments on your posts...

[g30ffr3y]

so many posts...

mmm... what a crappy big mac that was... so... i cant believe i forgot this... so friday right... my gathering... was supposed to take off around nine or so... i thought C would be over after work at 8.30... my brother was over already... but then its getting to be nine... nine thirty... i know that a bunch of people were supposed to be over at 10... but i mean... my gf was absent and hadnt called... hmmm... anyways... just as A and her bf V arrived my tele rang... it was C... apparently her and B had gotten stuck at work til 10... i guess right when they were about to close a whole mob of people showed up and they didnt get everyone sorted out and taken care of til way late... but thats not all... the actual reason C was calling was that her car wouldnt even start... eek... so im no car guy... and my brother and i had already began taking in the atmosphere... so i sent A to fetch C and some beer... actually A had no problem and sort of offered to do it since i was half in the bag...

once C got there B got there... everybody ended up showing up and we got pretty messed up and played this three hour marathon game of uno... just the one hand... took that long... we almost ran out of cards... i did not win by any means...

either way... i took her back to her car at 2am and after a little effort on her part... it started... thank goodness... right... right...

this morning was alright... it was early for me... but i didnt have anything to do so i had some breakfast... C showed up at 10.30... there is no management here today which is nice... not that C and i arent making use of a certain office... : )

im going to make dinner for us tonight... i get out quite a bit earlier than she does so ill have time... plus then i can get an idea of where im at with her and my cooking getting along... there is that day later this week... eek...

what should i do??? weve been officially dating for less than a month... the 14th is actually a month since she actually broke up with D... tomorrow is a month from the infamous saturday that started this thread... the whole relationship has been accelerated... i know she has no $$$ so i dont really anticipate much if anything... i guess i just want to do nice stuff for her... no lavish gifts or crazy expenditures...

oh well... so... stelliform... i called it... "the twisted and the hopeless" but thats not "mac" related... hmmm...

mr. anderson... good to see you still keeping up... this thread is rather lengthy... but people keep reading... different people post there thoughts and ideas... i think agreenster's head just exploded though... : )

scat999999... you must catch up a bit... though i may be an idiot... and i cannot deny that i just may be exactly that... i regret nothing that has happened... i will only have regret if i manage to screw up a perfectly wonderful relationship... or if i was completely snowed and this has been nothing but an elaborate rouse at my expense... but i sincerely doubt that...

madchemist... youre funny dude... but the venn diagram is appropriate... our intersecting circle is quite big... but yes we have individual identities... saturday i had a talk with her about...well... talking... im like... "im always spitting my random rhetoric at you... you should tell me stuff... or counterpoint my ideas" i asked her... "i really love apple... what do you like, whats your thing"... i know she likes animals a lot... and singing... but i come to find out that shes a big civil war buff... i like WWII and the american revolution... so thats cool... now ive got her opening up more... sunday we talked about our families and stuff like that... even if our circle dont overlap completely... i still wanna know whats in her circle... right... i just shell shock her because D apparently didnt have an opinion on anything and would never talk... what a dumbass...

groovebuster... yeah... i am pretty messed up... but im happier than ive been in so very long... i complicated the hell out of things... but C works through them with me... shes good...

pseudobrit... dippo... and kiwi... well kiwi put it out there... that i was rubberbanding... good term... so im not alone in that??? i just needed to pull away for a bit to get things together... i do feel better about it... i said in an earlier post that i felt like i came out of horrible nightmare... the reply i got was that i went back to dreamland... not woke up... i refuted that... i think recharged was a good way to put it... going home early saturday was another bit of rubberbanding... but then sunday was totally nice... i feel good today... she'll be over tonight to my place to at least watch my mini tv... i said before... the "relationship" of this has kicked in... the bubble has burst... but its still awesome... we still are fun and sickeningly cute together... sneaking off for kisses at work... i have a lot of hope... neither of us are so clingly... we are just clung... i guess for lack of a better word... being with her is most extraordinary...

so anyways... everyone at work knows at least that we are together... maybe not how deep it goes... but they know and they dont give us any issue which is good...

what else... hmmmm... i guess my train of thought has evacuated... til the next episode...

[Mr. Anderson]

Originally posted by Stelliform
Since "As The Apple Turns" is already taken, how about calling this and other relationship threads, "The Days of our Rumors." :D

call it what you will - I've given up reading it any more -

geoffrey, why not just start a blog for this angst of yours?

D

[themadchemist]

Originally posted by Mr. Anderson
call it what you will - I've given up reading it any more -

geoffrey, why not just start a blog for this angst of yours?

D

Hmmm...Seems you've kept up with it enough to respond to replies on the thread...;)

[kiwi_the_iwik]

I reckon that it's time to change the name of this thread to something a little more POSITIVE, g30ffr3y...

Part of your problem is that you swim in a sea of pessimism. Sort yourself out - and have some FUN for Chrissakes!

STOP trying to look at the negatives in things - I'm now a big fan of Fate and Karma; things happen for a reason, and we're along for the ride.

Your girlfriend got together with you because she genuinely wants share something special - don't read into it, just enjoy. She likes you for YOU. Thinking things like "What if...?" and "Why me?" don't make sense, and aren't important. Questions like "What special little things can I do to show her I care?", and "Isn't it grand how happy I am with her?" are...

Your current attitude is BOUND to feck her off if you're not too careful. Put a POSITIVE spin on things, and you WON'T have time to plant the nagging seeds of doubt - both in you AND in her.

Sheesh!

:rolleyes:

Have a great time!

;)

[john123]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
but i did and arrived over at C's current residence around 10.15am to help her move... i dont know if ive mentioned this... but she was living with her grandparents... so i met them... and her aunt...

Anyone other than me read this set of lines and think of that movie "Tomcats"?

[g30ffr3y]

so yesterday after work i go the grocery and get some chicken and broccoli and some cookie dough ice cream... right... i have this plan for a nice dinner once C gets out of work... its still early so i work on playing my guitar... that day is later this week and all...

eventually i start cooking... everythings good... it gets to be almost eight... i thought she'd be over by then... instead i get a phone call... "ugh... what cd's did you want to borrow"... im like... "youre still at home?"... crap... i just tell her then... "dont be pissed that dinner is going to suck, forget the cd's and just get here"... so i set everything up... put out mad candles all over... set up the table put on some theatre of tragedy piano jams... finally i see her pulling up... i throw the food in the damn microwave for a minute... let her in... and her reaction... NOTHING...

outside of looking for a place to hang her coat she doesnt really even notice... i mean she does... but it wasnt how i hoped it would be... i am immediately let down... the food is cold... overcooked... she doesnt seem to really give a **** that i put in all this effort... i mean... i get a hug and kiss and a "oohh... thats so nice" CRAP!!! i dont know what i expected or wanted it to be like... but it wasnt... it was just dinner... i think im through doing stuff for her... i am visibly distraught... she prys a little... i refuse to admit anything is even wrong... basically i have no desire to get into it...

we finish dinner... then im like... im watching the big fat fiance show... and basically i do that... she sits by me... i pretty much ignore her... on the commercials i at least acknowlege her and put a slight effort into returning her kisses... at one point i tried to cozy up to her... but shes all figity so im just like "f-it... you move around too much... its annoying... ill just be over here"... immediately she takes that as me saying that shes annoying... i dont really give a ****e how she interperreted it and watch my show...

we watch the 10pm episode of blind date... during the 10.30 one i basically put my head down and close my eyes... she finally left just before eleven without me even bothering to get off the couch...

ill tell ya guys... i felt like i was on some reality show... that i could say or do anything without consequence... that tomorrw would be a whole different day and nothing that happened would matter... maybe im just doing all this stuff for her... for us... so that once this does end i wont be upset that i didnt get to make my girlfriend dinner... or didnt go see that movie or whatever... then once im alone again... i wont feel like i missed that one last chance to do some cool stuff... pretty much after this... im going back to being alone for a good long while... this is crazy... my apathy is raising to new heights... im not afraid of her... i think i could probably urinate on her and find a way to explain my way out of it and have her just go back to being nice to me...

i wonder if you guys will pick up on what im not quite saying...

this was not a nice post... im not really in a lovey dovey mood after the travesty that was my candlelight dinner... this morning i had to be at work at 7am... i woke up at 7.01am... brushed my teeth put on my apple hat... im wearing the same pants i wore yesterday which i actually ripped the inseam on once i got to work... i was going to go home and clean myself... but im only here til 4 anyhow... so F'it... im wearing my apple hat and everyone can kiss my arse...

i guess i left out of my posts from the weekend that i talked to my brother about this relationship about as candidly as i talk here... maybe more so... the opinion seems to be that i am a friggin good boyfriend... but that she wouldnt do the things i do for her... she wouldnt even think to do the things i think to do for her... she is not like me... i think i care too much... or maybe im just a better "other half"... i dont know... but it sucks... and stupid valentines day... i think ill just get her some black roses and send her an email... im sure she'll put no thought into it for me... im damn near positive she wont put anything into it... except her expecting me to kiss her arse... im done with that... yesterday sealed that deal...

***** A... i moved her all weekend... cooked her dinner... built her furniture... basically set up her apt FOR her... not to mention the countless other little things i do on a near DAILY basis... about all i get to smile about is the fact that the card i gave her is next to her bed... well... while i was there at least...

women have issues...

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by john123
Anyone other than me read this set of lines and think of that movie "Tomcats"?

shannon elizabeth was in that movie right??? and broke into some animal testing lab or something??? i dont know how i pertain to that... please elaborate...

[Mr. Anderson]

Originally posted by themadchemist
Hmmm...Seems you've kept up with it enough to respond to replies on the thread...;)

For a couple pages or so, I haven't read any *installments* for a while....

Its not out of hand, its just becoming a continuing saga....

D

[john123]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
shannon elizabeth was in that movie right??? and broke into some animal testing lab or something??? i dont know how i pertain to that... please elaborate...

The scene with the librarian-turned-dominatrix and her grandmother...

[john123]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
i pretty much ignore her...shes all figity so im just like "f-it... you move around too much... its annoying... ill just be over here"... she finally left just before eleven without me even bothering to get off the couch... i could say or do anything without consequence... i think i could probably urinate on her and find a way to explain my way out of it and have her just go back to being nice to me... i think ill just get her some black roses and send her an email...

the opinion seems to be that i am a friggin good boyfriend...maybe im just a better "other half"...

women have issues...

This is immature and emotionally abusive and manipulative.

And then you call yourself a "friggin good boyfriend" -- and say that it's women who have issues???

What do you want, man? Her to get down on her knees and bow to you three times?

You got yourself into this situation. You jumped WAY too fast for someone clearly not even YET on the rebound. And now when it doesn't work out exactly like you want it to, you talk about not just figuratively but literally pissing on her?

You need some perspective and/or medication...

[kiwi_the_iwik]

WOMEN have issues?!?

Well, yes - they do. But somewhere along the line, you got a shedload of them too. So what do you want? What do you EXPECT from her? A medal? Do you want her to THANK you for every thing you do?

Two things:

1. Be yourself.
She liked you for WHO YOU ARE - the guy she could talk to, bounce off, have FUN with. Don't get moody, shirty, or just down-right crappy unnecessarily, as that only leads to misjudgement and doubt on her side. If you're having a rough day, then EXPLAIN to her that you're not going to be at your best, but it won't last long.

In letting her accept you, you must accept HER for all her little idiosyncrasies as well - which means that SHE might have been having a bad day. Bear with it - even though the reaction wasn't as you expected, it didn't mean that she didn't appreciate the effort...

2. Start as you mean to continue.
If you ARE going to wine/dine/woo/whatever, be sure it's not going to end once you've got what you want - in your case, a relationship.

3. (ok - so I lied...) Don't overcomplicate things.
My basic rule in life is - "Things are only as complicated as you want to make them". So - SIMPLIFY. You like her, she likes you. End of story. Let everything else lay where it falls. That also means that you shouldn't look at every sign to be "The End". Although writing to this forum is cathartic, may I suggest that you look into the POSITIVES of your relationship, and plug THEM?!? Go on - give them the airtime they deserve...

It appears to me that you're a "glass half-empty" kind of guy - always finding fault with everything, namely within yourself. Believe me; EVERY relationship has its ups and downs - the important thing is to be THICK-SKINNED about it, so you can be the stability. Could you imagine how BORING and predictable life would be if we weren't thrown the occasional curve-balls?

Dull, dull, dull...

For me, hindsight is an incredible - if not underrated - tool. For ages I sat there with the "What if..." and "If only..."scenarios swirling around my head - and finally came to the conclusion that there was more to life than looking at its dark, depressing side.

Finally, g30ffr3y -

Be HAPPY with the challenges of your relationship. They make us into the people we are.

Be HAPPY with C - she BECAME the person you like (even LOVE) because of her past experiences.

Be HAPPY with YOURSELF. Hell - after all, you're the one you have to live with 24/7...

;)

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by john123
This is immature and emotionally abusive and manipulative.

And then you call yourself a "friggin good boyfriend" -- and say that it's women who have issues???

What do you want, man? Her to get down on her knees and bow to you three times?

You got yourself into this situation. You jumped WAY too fast for someone clearly not even YET on the rebound. And now when it doesn't work out exactly like you want it to, you talk about not just figuratively but literally pissing on her?

You need some perspective and/or medication...


no... i dont want anyone to bow... thats the idea... its too easy... i feel like i could get away with murder and suffer zero consequence... im not actually going to pee on anyone...

i am too manipulative and she can be manipulated... i dont want to feel safe doing that because i just very well may and thats no good... she likes too much of MY stuff... what happened to HER stuff... i dont want to shape her into my lemming...

i am a good bf... i care... i show that i care... i just dont think the tables turn the other way... but yet i know ive got her sown up... she just got to work and said hi to me... considering im not exactly clean i wouldnt give her a hug and really i just blew her off telling her she was late for work and i would be gone in four and a half hours anyways so not to concern herself with me today... so i guess im not that good... or im just pissed off and am rubberbanding it... i dont feel the desire to see her later... or tomorrow... or... crud...

when you steal someone from her bf is it rebounding??? what is it??? just F'ed up really...

oh yeah... we cant talk about me and medication... read a few pages back for more on that...

cheers and jeers from buffalo...

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by kiwi_the_iwik
WOMEN have issues?!?

Well, yes - they do. But somewhere along the line, you got a shedload of them too. So what do you want? What do you EXPECT from her? A medal? Do you want her to THANK you for every thing you do?

Two things:

1. Be yourself.
She liked you for WHO YOU ARE - the guy she could talk to, bounce off, have FUN with. Don't get moody, shirty, or just down-right crappy unnecessarily, as that only leads to misjudgement and doubt on her side. If you're having a rough day, then EXPLAIN to her that you're not going to be at your best, but it won't last long.

In letting her accept you, you must accept HER for all her little idiosyncrasies as well - which means that SHE might have been having a bad day. Bear with it - even though the reaction wasn't as you expected, it didn't mean that she didn't appreciate the effort...

2. Start as you mean to continue.
If you ARE going to wine/dine/woo/whatever, be sure it's not going to end once you've got what you want - in your case, a relationship.

3. (ok - so I lied...) Don't overcomplicate things.
My basic rule in life is - "Things are only as complicated as you want to make them". So - SIMPLIFY. You like her, she likes you. End of story. Let everything else lay where it falls. That also means that you shouldn't look at every sign to be "The End". Although writing to this forum is cathartic, may I suggest that you look into the POSITIVES of your relationship, and plug THEM?!? Go on - give them the airtime they deserve...

It appears to me that you're a "glass half-empty" kind of guy - always finding fault with everything, namely within yourself. Believe me; EVERY relationship has its ups and downs - the important thing is to be THICK-SKINNED about it, so you can be the stability. Could you imagine how BORING and predictable life would be if we weren't thrown the occasional curve-balls?

Dull, dull, dull...

For me, hindsight is an incredible - if not underrated - tool. For ages I sat there with the "What if..." and "If only..."scenarios swirling around my head - and finally came to the conclusion that there was more to life than looking at its dark, depressing side.

Finally, g30ffr3y -

Be HAPPY with the challenges of your relationship. They make us into the people we are.

Be HAPPY with C - she BECAME the person you like (even LOVE) because of her past experiences.

Be HAPPY with YOURSELF. Hell - after all, you're the one you have to live with 24/7...

;)


i suppose i just want to know that im appreciated and i wish she was as considerate of me as i am of her... i would do most anything for her yet i get the feeling it doesnt go the other way...

i am very much myself... a moody SOB at that... she knows this and accepts it though... as with today's grumpy scenario... she takes it pretty hard that im not happy... i guess i have a hard time accepting her "only child" syndrome... as well as her suggestability...

start as i mean to continue... i am a little overboard on that... and i dont think i could continue this way for any super extended period of time... i think im just going to cool out on the nicities for a while... maybe she'll come around in the mean time... i mean... how much CAN i friggin do for her...

i complicate everything... i analyze most every movement... expression... word she says... its bad... but i do it in most every facet of my daily life... if i werent so lazy i could write a novel... i dont argue that i indeed need to chill the F out...

i am definitely a half empty kind of guy... and yes i am not a fan of myself nor the things i do... but who else do i have to blame for my shortcomings... i could do more... i just dont... so i beat myself up... and by doing that i make it worse... i want to do even less... then i have more to beat myself up about... at some point i become overwhelmed and i crack... thats when i go into those nightmare situations that i cant wake up from til some random event triggers my head back into whack... it sucks...

yeah im pretty dull...

and in hindsight im sure that ill see everything she was to me... everything that she did do to make me feel good... not only about her... but us... and most of all myself... she makes me feel g0dlike when i let her... its amazing to see her face light up most every second we are together... but i loose track of that because ive been poisoned... i equate objects to love... i discount what she does do... because its not what I would do... im not as good as i think i am... im an arsehole...

i love the challenges... to the point of manufacturing problems so i have something to work out... she needs to be more challenging though... which is where that whole "peeing" comment came from...

i know C is good... i do adore her so... i should just be happy with her... but i find so much fault around every turn... even these posts demonstrate my extreme moodiness and inability to accept what is... as it is...

being happy with myself... now thats "the hardest button to button" its hard to be happy with yourself when everytime in the mirror you see a monster... when you hate near every thought you have or action you perform... when you become so disgusted with yourself that you self destruct... ruin things just to ruin them... to dig further and further past rock bottom... granted... i have lightened up a little bit... C has helped... she helps me see... but i keep trying to ruin her... well... ruin it... im not pushing her away at least... im just running myself... when all i want to do is run up to her and give her a hug and apologize for being such a F-bag earlier...

oh well...

self destruct in T-minus three minutes and counting...

[Dros]

Hey G30ff3y,

I can relate to that scenario with the dinner, from both sides. I've gone out of my way to make a special meal or trip and gotten little thanks in return. On the other hand, I know I've been on the receiving end and sometimes not been appreciative.

These things never quite work out. I think the problem comes when you've got this whole scene worked out "she's going to come in, see the candles flickering, smell fresh baked bread, etc, and she'll give me a big smile, hug me close and whisper, 'thanks, this means so much to me!'". When in reality, she's running late because work is holding her up then she's not hurrying because she doesn't know the food is getting cold but you get irritated at her anyway, and then she's just tired and feels like vegging in front of the TV but you meanwhile are trying to get that little play in your head started but she isn't following the script. Recipe for a not good dinner.

Here's what I would suggest. First, if her reaction disappointed you, don't clam up. You can communicate those feelings without being accusatory or overblowing it.

Second, if you are doing something, do it for her and not for how it makes you a good boyfriend or for how she will respond.

Third, everyone feels resentment in a relationship. The best way to counter those feelings is to say, 'ok, I'm feeling resentment, but the truth is she brings these positive things to the relationship." Once you start thinking more about both sides of the coin the feelings of resentment disappear.

[john123]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
no... i dont want anyone to bow... thats the idea... its too easy... i feel like i could get away with murder and suffer zero consequence... im not actually going to pee on anyone...

i am too manipulative and she can be manipulated... i dont want to feel safe doing that because i just very well may and thats no good... she likes too much of MY stuff... what happened to HER stuff... i dont want to shape her into my lemming...

i am a good bf... i care... i show that i care... i just dont think the tables turn the other way... but yet i know ive got her sown up... she just got to work and said hi to me... considering im not exactly clean i wouldnt give her a hug and really i just blew her off telling her she was late for work and i would be gone in four and a half hours anyways so not to concern herself with me today... so i guess im not that good... or im just pissed off and am rubberbanding it... i dont feel the desire to see her later... or tomorrow... or... crud...

when you steal someone from her bf is it rebounding??? what is it??? just F'ed up really...

oh yeah... we cant talk about me and medication... read a few pages back for more on that...

cheers and jeers from buffalo...
You have to learn to give because you want to give, not because you expect some kind of reciprocation. If expected reciprocation is what it's about, it's never gonna work.

I understand that you weren't really going to urinate on her. But that kind of crap shouldn't even cross your mind. It's not like she went out and slept with your best friend -- she just wasn't as responsive as you wanted her to be. So for you to be as demeaning toward her as you were in your previous post was uncalled for.

More to the point, if you have issues with her lack of reciprocation, then instead of wasting away on this message board, you need to express your concerns and feelings to her. Why people don't understand that the fundamental premise behind any successful long-term relationship (note: "relationship" is different from an "arrangement") is beyond me.

As for stealing someone from their boyfriend: no, "rebounding" maybe isn't the right word. "Unethical" comes to mind, as does "bad situation," although from your (admittedly biased) account, the guy sounds like another manipulative twit. Still, people are who they are, so the entire situation should give you some critical insights into her character -- and your own. Bad situations have a habit of coming full circle....

[john123]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
self destruct in T-minus three minutes and counting...

By the way, this is the kind of melodramatic babble that people have been ripping into you about....

[cr2sh]

Back.. haha g3of.. this is what I'm talking about. :)

You talk about how nice you are and in the same post say "i think i could probably urinate on her and find a way to explain my way out of it"

yeh.. you're right "women have issues... "

:rolleyes:

You go from cooking her dinner to giving her the cold shoulder... you don't explain it to her.. jesus, you're lack of communication is just your way of trying to end the relationship without confrontation.

Then again, you're miserable, you want to break up with her... christ, might as well make the most of it. :D

[spinner]

After a few years of marriage, I think I can safely advise you to "choose your battles wisely." Because quite honestly have you ever thought maybe that's what she is doing? I highly doubt she's anyone's lemming. Sounds to me more like she is trying to take an interest in stuff you like and trying not to fight just because you're having a bad day. Would you really rather have someone who will argue with you at the drop of a hat or a nag perhaps? I think not, in fact, I would go as far as to say she a friggin good girlfriend.

[kiwi_the_iwik]

Originally posted by john123
By the way, this is the kind of melodramatic babble that people have been ripping into you about....

Abso-bloody-lutely.


Believe it or not, g30ffr3y, we ALL go through those tendencies. Unfortunately, what you're doing is HARPING on them.

I've gotta say that this forum is getting you pretty much NOWHERE. There are certain conclusions you have to come to under your own steam.

What do you want? Do you WANT to be with C?

If not, well, harp away - and watch the best moments of your life cruise on by without even so much as a passing hand gesture.

If you DO, then WAKE UP to yourself and get on with the LIVING aspect of life.

You know - maybe you DO have to hit rock-bottom before you realise exactly what you had. Notice I said "HAD"? Because you won't have ANYTHING any more - no stability, no reliance, no confidence - and no C. I guarantee it.

I can only share the experiences I've had over the years to save you the pain that you may encounter if you do decide to fall through. Regardless, you'll lose sight of everything you hold close if you continue this sado-masochismic trend of yours.

I just got back from a film shoot in Mexico and Guatemala - where people actually have to scrounge through refuse to make a living, and kids as young as SIX don't have the chance to escape the violence of home life, or gangs, or vigilantes - however, many find solace not only on the streets but also in solvent abuse... Filming the crappy existences of other people certainly make you appreciate the things we so often take for granted.

I know it's one of those "There are people in Africa who are starving" speeches, but sometimes you need to put things into perpective. Be thankful for all the wonderful opportunities you have with what seems to be a wonderful girl. Don't be a pessimist. Wake up in the morning, and grab the day by the cohones.

Try it - you might enjoy the refreshing difference of a positive outlook for a change.

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by john123
By the way, this is the kind of melodramatic babble that people have been ripping into you about....

thats just me... i cant help it... i dont really mind the ripping... more often than not its justified and comes along with some decent advice...

and with that one... i really just needed a way to end the post...



ironically enough as i was finishing that post on how i would love to just go give her a hug and apologize for being an idiot... she came back here to talk to me and i friggin stonewalled her... i told her i wasnt going to see her tonight... she asked about tomorrow... i told her to ask me tomorrow... she asked for a hug i said no... a kiss... no... i told her she was off tomorrow anyways so why not hang out with A... get F'ed up and b1tch about me all night... it would be more productive than hanging out with me... she stormed out... yet im not flipping out... just listening to internet radio 80's style since i forgot my ipod in the race to work this morning...

hey look... my mournings are now most often mornings... that was suggested earlier in this thread...

fact of the matter is i need time away from her if i want to do anything for her for valentines day in the way of creativity... how can i work on stuff FOR HER if shes always there...

what else...

that urine comment has really drawn too much attention... i guess my verbage was in haste... it was just meant to be colourful... im not actually out to desecrate the girl...

i dont do stuff because i expect stuff... i do stuff because i want to do stuff... im just convinced that she doesnt even think of stuff and g30f in the same sentance... except for "what kind of stuff can g30f do for me next" which i already know the answer... she wants me to get her cell phone up as a modem for her laptop... she even brought the damn laptop to my house last night... dinner... computer service... what the hell am i??? i wouldnt mind so much if it were a mac... i wouldnt have to install crappy dialer software and drivers... my powerbook went up like a cinch... i just did it for fun since i have a cable modem... but her dell... i tried sunday to "just do it" but "it didnt work"...

the sad fact is that even after our little talk... she still makes me feel like im "in her service"...

bad situations do end bad... at least i got to see butterfly effect with a girl...

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by spinner
After a few years of marriage, I think I can safely advise you to "choose your battles wisely." Because quite honestly have you ever thought maybe that's what she is doing? I highly doubt she's anyone's lemming. Sounds to me more like she is trying to take an interest in stuff you like and trying not to fight just because you're having a bad day. Would you really rather have someone who will argue with you at the drop of a hat or a nag perhaps? I think not, in fact, I would go as far as to say she a friggin good girlfriend.

but i dont want to be able to walk all over her... shes not a bad gf or anything... shes got to have a mind of her own... somewhere...

i dont want a nag or a pain in the ass... if i wanted that i could live at home with my mother... at least then i could afford a g5...

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by kiwi_the_iwik
Abso-bloody-lutely.


Believe it or not, g30ffr3y, we ALL go through those tendencies. Unfortunately, what you're doing is HARPING on them.

I've gotta say that this forum is getting you pretty much NOWHERE. There are certain conclusions you have to come to under your own steam.

What do you want? Do you WANT to be with C?

If not, well, harp away - and watch the best moments of your life cruise on by without even so much as a passing hand gesture.

If you DO, then WAKE UP to yourself and get on with the LIVING aspect of life.

You know - maybe you DO have to hit rock-bottom before you realise exactly what you had. Notice I said "HAD"? Because you won't have ANYTHING any more - no stability, no reliance, no confidence - and no C. I guarantee it.

I can only share the experiences I've had over the years to save you the pain that you may encounter if you do decide to fall through. Regardless, you'll lose sight of everything you hold close if you continue this sado-masochismic trend of yours.

I just got back from a film shoot in Mexico and Guatemala - where people actually have to scrounge through refuse to make a living, and kids as young as SIX don't have the chance to escape the violence of home life, or gangs, or vigilantes - however, many find solace not only on the streets but also in solvent abuse... Filming the crappy existences of other people certainly make you appreciate the things we so often take for granted.

I know it's one of those "There are people in Africa who are starving" speeches, but sometimes you need to put things into perpective. Be thankful for all the wonderful opportunities you have with what seems to be a wonderful girl. Don't be a pessimist. Wake up in the morning, and grab the day by the cohones.

Try it - you might enjoy the refreshing difference of a positive outlook for a change.


i did get a wake up call on saturday night... it wasnt relevant to C... but from another messed up facet of my life... it didnt really even work... even though i feel like i messed myself up pretty bad... this is me... i need to get knocked out by a train to realize that the toilet paper can roll both ways... i hate it when the tp pulls the wrong way...

i DO NOT WANT TO LOSE C... well... when im thinking rationally... today i couldnt care less... but once the consequences were to sink in i would be right here complaining that i screwed up and what should i do now...

this thread does me a lot of good... ive gives me a place to get this out... where people may even read it... and comment...

there are certainly people worse off than me... the dont even have to be in third world countries... i see people everyday who are worse off than me... id go as far as to say im doing ok for myself... it just sucks when yourself is the only thing wrong with your life...

i do miss a lot of good things by wrecking my mentals... i know i should stop... have fun etc... i just plum dont know how...

[kiwi_the_iwik]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
i do miss a lot of good things by wrecking my mentals... i know i should stop... have fun etc... i just plum dont know how...

See? That's the real problem. You're the one with some issues you need to really sort out. You've got demons you have to put to rest, and you WON'T do that unless you OPENLY come to the conclusion that there are FUNDAMENTAL things in your life you have to change - or they'll take over.

After all - you don't want to end up like those sad, lonely people you see at the end of airport runways, bus stops or train stations with a clipboard, a well-worn raincoat, a beer gut and the remnants of last weeks' breakfast festering in their beards, as they tick off the arrival of Flight BA 282, the 489 from Greenwich, or the 15:49 from London Waterloo...

Get a decent hobby (NOT Plane/Bus/Train spotting!!), and get involved. Your confidence will improve because you'll find that there's something EXTRA-curricular that you excel at. Hell - there's nothing like a sport or hobby to make you feel good about yourself. Get involved in a band again - enough of the melancholy...

What you need is for someone to tell you to WAKE UP TO YOURSELF!!!

Consider that someone to be ME. THAT'S AN ORDER!!!!

[john123]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y

If you do stuff because you "want to do stuff," then you shouldn't get ticked off if she is not appreciative to your level of satisfaction.

You are melodramatic, you can help it, and you don't choose to. At the very least if you feel that way, you don't have to talk that way.

It reminds me a great deal of an older equivalent of the kids who would misbehave when young just to get attention -- the idea being that bad attention is better than no attention at all. If I had to put my finger on it, I'd say you're attention starved.

[g30ffr3y]

john123... i have a hard time getting attention... im not all that charismatic i guess... i dont do well in crowds... i have serious abandonment **** to work out... which will never get worked out... im not trying to do bad things to get noticed though... im trying to get unnoticed right now infact...

kiwi... there are things in my life that need to change yes... and those things are internal to me... these things ive been battling ever since i can recall... nothing seems to work... ive been through all the usual stuff... it just doesnt work... i dont accept it... sure i dont want to end up on a runway... i think id be more apt to end up trainspotting... without the trains... but not seriously... please guys... ive never even seen the horse...

i have hobbies... trouble is i get bored so fast i can concentrate on anthing long enough to be happy with myself for finishing it... everytime i boot up protools/reason/cakewalk i save as whatever date it is... sometimes i save things as "work on this you lazy arsehole" and i never do... i just start new things i dont finish... working within a band is a b1tch... when i did have the band... I WAS THE BAND... the group was my apostles so to speak... MY vision cant be skewed... i have a short fuse... i need control... yet i am so very lost...

kiwi... if youre willing to lay down the order for me to get my **** together than maybe ill try not to disappoint...

maybe tonight since im not seeing the girl ill work on something g30f wants to work on...

[kiwi_the_iwik]

THAT'S the spirit...


...do something that makes g30f happy!

:)

[groovebuster]

Originally posted by themadchemist
now that really wasn't very nice, was it?

Actually it wasn't meant to be nice.

Before my wife I had 2 long-term relationships with girls who had the same "issues" as our l33t geoffrey.

I had tons of "good friends" who had issues like that and used me as a mental trash can when I had to listen to their problems over and over again.

This kind of people is soooo emotional and sensitive... and most important: self-centered. All they care about is themselves. They walk over you and they don't even notice. You can give them advice 24/7, they will never listen. But in the end they are giving you another sleepless night when they did something stupid again and are crying about what kind of bad people they are...

Or they even start to terrorize you! But that's another story...

After 20 years of experience with people like that (I am 33 now) I am fed up with those pyschos. Don't waste your time trying to help them... they will never listen anyway and nothing will change. They just need you as a reassurance that they are not as bad as they think and then go on screwing everything up.

I am sorry that I am so negative about the whole thing, but I really made very bad experiences with some other "geoffreys" over the years and the best advice I can give to everybody: stay away from them, they are bad karma also affecting your daily life before you even notice. And they don't give a **** about it.

So stop you helper syndrom dudes. It's not worth it.

groovebuster

[g30ffr3y]

Originally posted by groovebuster
Actually it wasn't meant to be nice.

Before my wife I had 2 long-term relationships with girls who had the same "issues" as our l33t geoffrey.

I had tons of "good friends" who had issues like that and used me as a mental trash can when I had to listen to their problems over and over again.

This kind of people is soooo emotional and sensitive... and most important: self-centered. All they care about is themselves. They walk over you and they don't even notice. You can give them advice 24/7, they will never listen. But in the end they are giving you another sleepless night when they did something stupid again and are crying about what kind of bad people they are...

Or they even start to terrorize you! But that's another story...

After 20 years of experience with people like that (I am 33 now) I am fed up with those pyschos. Don't waste your time trying to help them... they will never listen anyway and nothing will change. They just need you as a reassurance that they are not as bad as they think and then go on screwing everything up.

I am sorry that I am so negative about the whole thing, but I really made very bad experiences with some other "geoffreys" over the years and the best advice I can give to everybody: stay away from them, they are bad karma also affecting your daily life before you even notice. And they don't give a **** about it.

So stop you helper syndrom dudes. It's not worth it.

groovebuster


ouch... i guess theres only one thing left to do then...

[groovebuster]

The only thing you should do is getting professional help instead of talking about your private life into detail to strangers all the time and also about your girl-friend, or whatever you consider her, when she doesn't even know about it...

groovebuster

[g30ffr3y]

groovebuster... thats pretty harsh man... no ones asking you to read this... and no ones asking you to comment... whatever youve been through in your life... dont lay it on me... there is only one g30ffr3y... those that post here... at the very least are interested enough to read... if your only interested enough to be mean... then go be mean to one of those other people who effected you directly... C is my girlfriend... this is my account of events in my life... if C keeps a journal... i dont know about it and ill never care if i find out... this is only as public as what??? people i dont know taking an interest in what im up too... it hurts no one... i enjoy doing it... please... if you continue with this thread be productive or be non existent... im not seeking professional help... im sure you wouldnt want me suggesting you take anger management classes...

[groovebuster]

Don't worry, I won't show up again in "your" thread anymore...

Over and out.

P.S.: Your reaction was exactly what I expected. For that I have to thank you.

[yellow]

You did the right thing! Thanks for not being a conniving man-whore! Thanks for not letting her be a conniving woman-whore! If she wants to test the waters, tell her to grow a set and dump her man. Relationship jumpers suck.

Ooops.. apparently she jumped.

[john123]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
john123... i have a hard time getting attention... im not all that charismatic i guess... i dont do well in crowds... i have serious abandonment **** to work out... which will never get worked out... im not trying to do bad things to get noticed though... im trying to get unnoticed right now infact...

You insist you won't get professional help, but this is exactly the reason why you should.

Sadly, so many people for one reason or another won't do it. Some see it as a "stigma"; others don't want to admit there is a problem; others haven't found the right counsellor; others go into it with such a closed mind that it is bound not to work.

[g30ffr3y]

believe it or not i was once even worse off than i am now... the so called professional help turned out to be nothing more than lies and ************... im content to deal with things on my own these days... and believe me when i say im better than i was...

before i left the workplace i went over to say goodbye to C... we ended up talking for almost forty-five minutes... today is the anniversary of what we call "the infamous saturday"... that being january tenth when all this came out in the open... it is a pretty special day for us... and though our real anniversary is january 29th... this has been a month that weve been openly caring about one another...

yellow... yeah she jumped... but now we're in this together... neither of us are coniving anything... you guys get this portrayal of things that go on... but you dont see it all... our relationship is crazy and wonderful and i just try to ruin it all the time...

groovebuster really laid into me about it... its not that hes not exactly right... he just doesnt give me any credit that i wont eventually come to my senses and stop ***** up... also... i gave you the answer you wanted man... i handed it right to you to see what you would say... i never said really to get off my thread... this isnt my thread... its a thread on macrumors... i started it... its my story... thats all... i just dont need to get beat up about it... sure ive got issues... but telling everyone who does read and contribute to stop since im just some lost cause wasnt cool...

i dont mean to piss anyone off... i come to you guys with this and even if i dont follow everyones advice to the tee... its in the back of my mind and does effect what i do...

anyways... tonight im just trying to follow kiwi's orders and have a good night doing what i want to do... which so far has been cleaning my house and paying bills...

im so exciting maybe ill break out the vaccum cleaner...

[john123]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
believe it or not i was once even worse off than i am now... the so called professional help turned out to be nothing more than lies and ************... im content to deal with things on my own these days... and believe me when i say im better than i was...

Like I said, most people come up with excuses not to do it, insist it's "ineffective," etc.

You may be "content" to deal with things on your own, but it's painfully obvious to everyone here that you're not doing a very good job of it.

[macopia]

The chick was bored with her boyfriend and needed some excitement.

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
groovebuster really laid into me about it... its not that hes not exactly right... he just doesnt give me any credit that i wont eventually come to my senses and stop ***** up... also... i gave you the answer you wanted man... i handed it right to you to see what you would say... i never said really to get off my thread... this isnt my thread... its a thread on macrumors... i started it... its my story... thats all... i just dont need to get beat up about it... sure ive got issues... but telling everyone who does read and contribute to stop since im just some lost cause wasnt cool...

I think he's right.

You've ignored every single bit of advice you've been given. I don't see why anyone continues to try to clue you in, because it's obvious you're being deliberately obtuse about it.

[john123]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
I think he's right.

You've ignored every single bit of advice you've been given. I don't see why anyone continues to try to clue you in, because it's obvious you're being deliberately obtuse about it.

Truer words were never spoken, my sage friend...

[Dippo]

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
anyways... tonight im just trying to follow kiwi's orders and have a good night doing what i want to do... which so far has been cleaning my house and paying bills...

im so exciting maybe ill break out the vaccum cleaner...

Man, you make my life sound like a complete bore :)

[john123]

Is this the calm before the storm?

[agreenster]

Wow. No updates in almost a month.

G3of? Didja kill yourself?

[cr2sh]

Didja kill yourself?
I pm'd him about a week ago and he hasn't replied yet... so, your idea is a scary possibility.

We can talk about this new girl I just met if you want to... its a tragic story if there ever was one. :)

[agreenster]

He posted on the music thread a few days ago, so he aint dead I suppose...

I bet they broke up or somethin' and doesnt want to hear all the "I told you so's."

[cr2sh]

I bet they broke up or somethin' and doesnt want to hear all the "I told you so's."

g3of pm'd me the other day, he seems to be doing well. I think he might have just gotten tired of hearing the negative comments in this thread.. and decided to stop replying. I think they're doing well... so that's good news for me.

That bad news is, this thread is officially destined for wasteland now.. so some post counts are going to take a hit. hahaha :D

[themadchemist]

No need to wasteland it...It served its purpose, was entertaining, and didn't get too out of hand while it lasted. Now, we can just leave it alone and let it drift down low to page 7 or 8 where no one goes.

[Dippo]

No need to wasteland it...It served its purpose, was entertaining, and didn't get too out of hand while it lasted. Now, we can just leave it alone and let it drift down low to page 7 or 8 where no one goes.


I was wondering if he was still with girl or what happened to him...

[themadchemist]

I was wondering if he was still with girl or what happened to him...

I think, from the above posts, it is clear that he's going strong. Good for him!

[g30ffr3y]

many interesting things have happened... a few unpleasant altercations with D... i tried to give up the whole relationship more than once... C has fought tooth and nail to prove to me that we are really meant to be together and that she loves me... funny... i fought tooth and nail to prove to her that we were meant to be together not so long ago... funny how things go full circle...

we are doing extremely well at this point... i have like three hundred pictures in my iphoto that im deciding on what to post to my .mac page... once i get my lazy arse motivated ill post that stuff...

lately ive just been concentrating on keeping positive and believing that i am allowed to be truly happy for once... its not easy... i keep looking for alterior motives and secret ongoings... but they just arent there... this girl just really does want to be with me... and i very much with her... so finally after digging our way through all the crap we had along the way... we can just work on us and our future...

its amazing really... she can listen to me babble about motu 828mkII, logic, apple, g5's, ice cream, reality tv, delerium, my friggin various issues, whatever and not judge, not dismiss, its just wonderful... we have so much fun together... the key for us is to just not plan things... just let the chips fall and something exciting always happens... crazy...

im sure some of you will be happy to know that ive/weve pretty much gone straight edge as well... we dont drink... we dont do drugs... well outside of the occassional excedrine... we get more excited about blow pops and rainbow nerds... my head is clear... i feel good...

i managed to get myself a 15" flat panel apple studio display for just over 200 bucks which i thought was a good deal... christines b-day is at the end of april... she wants a green ipod mini so bad... ill probably get her one... shes managed to get over two gigs of music into her laptop... im sure this all sounds silly to you guys, but hey... to each his own...

we saw the passion of the christ last week... for what it was i enjoyed it very much... just a violent acting out of the stations of the cross... which after my eight years of catholic schooling i became very acquainted with... im glad i saw it...

im trying to figure out how to back up my dvds... ive got dvd backup dvd2onex and toast... dvd-rs are on sale at target... ive gotta go pick some up... the remake of metal gear solid comes out this week!!! woohoo!!! christine is making me dinner tomorrow...

yeah... same old geof... what do you guys think now...

[wdlove]

Congratulations g30ffr3y, it sounds like true love is blooming. Christine is a very nice name. I hope that you love will continue to grow. Hope you will be as happy as I have been. Anxious to see the pictures.

[agreenster]

Well hot damn. A happy ending, even after all these months. Cant say I'd ever say it, but, good for you.

Sounds pretty normal now, considering the weird/rocky start.

Go easy on the meds there geof and have fun...

[spinner]

Glad to hear that things are working out for you two. I wish you smooth sailing from here on. :p

[themadchemist]

Interesting to note that this is the first time g30f has mentioned the actual name of "C." wdlove is right, Christine is a very nice name, and that he's willing to share her name with us means, I think, that he's feeling more comfortable with where he is.

And, g30f, you seem happy. For that I am glad. Enjoy it while it lasts and I hope it lasts forever.

Now, for more diversions, you can check out my very own thread. I'm sure we'll see many of the same big players as participated in this thread, but I hate to say that second-season soap operas are never quite as thrilling.

[iJon]

hmm, already bought her a 15" inch display and your going to buy her a mini. i hope she is putting out. in my first relationship that ended earlier this year i bought my girl real nice things, not as nice as those things but you know. now im in my new relationship and for now im not buying her crap, and its going great. i havent been keeping up this thread, but if you guys are just starting out i would lay off the really nice presesnts, you may be kicking yourself later.

iJon

[themadchemist]

hmm, already bought her a 15" inch display and your going to buy her a mini. i hope she is putting out. in my first relationship that ended earlier this year i bought my girl real nice things, not as nice as those things but you know. now im in my new relationship and for now im not buying her crap, and its going great. i havent been keeping up this thread, but if you guys are just starting out i would lay off the really nice presesnts, you may be kicking yourself later.

iJon

Well, fact-wise, I think you misinterpreted him. He bought the 15" display for himself. The mini maybe a bit much; it's a nice present, but there's that problem of having to outdo yourself in the future.

Myself, I will always be terrible with women, because I think I'd be a man of crackerjack rings and midnight burger king runs. :D

[iJon]

Well, fact-wise, I think you misinterpreted him. He bought the 15" display for himself. The mini maybe a bit much; it's a nice present, but there's that problem of having to outdo yourself in the future.

Myself, I will always be terrible with women, because I think I'd be a man of crackerjack rings and midnight burger king runs. :D
ah ok, like i said i havnet kept up with this thread. and the burger king runs are awesome, nothing wrong with that. when my girl and i get hungry and its friday night we go hit up the local pizza place that we love. i would go to burger king, they dont take credit though :)

iJon

[g30ffr3y]

yeah... the display is mine... i love it... my dual monitor setup rocks...

i want her to have the mini as much as she wants it really... the more apple stuff i can get her using the better... my apple obsession is not going away so she may as well hop on board...

i got myself motivated to set up a picture page on my .mac account... the address is...

i hope you enjoy it... i showed it to her earlier... she thought it was quite nifty... always thinks im doing nice stuff for her... i told her... i wish i could make her a fancy page in dreamweaver or something... but... eh... its not like what i do is difficult... but she appreciates it...

i had mentioned her name somewhere in this thread but did go back to the C shortly after... i think that i very much am comfortable enough now to admit that my girlfriends name is christine... and it is a damn nice name... all long and proper sounding... i refuse to shorten it in any way...

anyhow... tomorrow shes invited me over for dinner... should be a nice change from subs and pizza... tonight we did indeed watch the two towers... we want to see return of the king together but it seems to be too late for that... theres always dvd... eventually...

oh well... i should go to bed now... thanks everyone for the positive posts... its good to be off the emotional rollercoaster...

[Dippo]

i got myself motivated to set up a picture page on my .mac account... the address is...

http://homepage.mac.com/g30ffr3y/PhotoAlbum21.html




Wow she does have some nice eyes.

I wouldn't lose her, I doubt you would get any better :D

[g30ffr3y]

indeed theres nothing quite like those eyes looking back at you... thats quite a fetching crop of her picture... i took about another thirty six tonight... my POS digicam is the best fifty bucks ive spent lately... not discounting my monitor... but that was a few more than fifty... i should be sleeping...

[g30ffr3y]

not to dig up the past... but i havent been
around here in a long time... i had a post
about my powerbook not turning on that
pretty much fell under the radar but i got
to thinking about this thread...

christine and i are approaching our 1st year
anniversary and things are great and have
been great for all this time... we are looking
forward to the future together... its fantastic
to feel this way about someone...

anyways... like i said i didnt mean to dig
up the past... im not going to update
constantly or anything... but there were
a lot of nay-sayers... i just wanted to
say "hello" and everything is wonderful...

[agreenster]

Cool dude

[stubeeef]

having been in the same situation as you...and unfortunately, not behaved as wisely...i will say nothing good can come of this. any girl who would screw around on her BF ( and in his apt...) is bad news. she may be a beautiful, funny, charming brickhouse but she's lacking integrity. what she's doing to her BF...she will do to you.

deep freeze this chick....and fast.:eek:

Ditto, and cudos. Tough spot, many have been there, they usually regret something. Either they lingered, your only bad move, or consumated the evening, very bad move.

She is enjoying her new found powers over men and you are a willing flatterer.
She may be gorgeous, smart, and super yummy-but she sounds a little evil too. Watch out, as she grows up she may realize how good a catch you obviously are, if not, you missed nothing!

Merry Christmas!

[Xero]

Hey man good to hear it! This was a very interesting thread to follow back in the day and i hope things continue to go well for you two. :)

not to dig up the past... but i havent been
around here in a long time... i had a post
about my powerbook not turning on that
pretty much fell under the radar but i got
to thinking about this thread...

christine and i are approaching our 1st year
anniversary and things are great and have
been great for all this time... we are looking
forward to the future together... its fantastic
to feel this way about someone...

anyways... like i said i didnt mean to dig
up the past... im not going to update
constantly or anything... but there were
a lot of nay-sayers... i just wanted to
say "hello" and everything is wonderful...

[Bengt77]

Whow, I can't believe I just stayed up till 03:00 just to read every single post in this (albeit very interesting) thread. Dang, am I happy for you! Didn't expect it all to have worked out as fine as it seems to have done, so not to congratulate you with the fact that it actually did would be bad.

So here goes... Congratulations, g30ffr3y! :)

By the way, I was in quite a similar situation little over a month ago. But in that situation, I was C (though male) and the other was you, G (albeit female). We were, like you were that very Saturday you kept referring to as the dreadful Saturday (or whatever you were actually calling it), drunk any my D (also female) wasn't around. We only see each other in the weekends, so I wouldn't be seeing her for nearly two weeks on end. That's not very good when you bump into, like, the best looking and nicest girl bar one (D) on a Saturday night with friends and lots of port. But she respected my being with D and since I didn't want to cheat on D, nothing bad happened. Things worsened when G and I started talking to each other over the phone and during MSN conversations, though.

Anyways, a jump to the present, I totally went for D (again). In fact, even so much so, that we realized that my slight falter (with, at first, not so very slight consequenses) couldn't have happened if we were totally okay with each other. So we evaluated our relationship of over four-and-a-half years. The outcome being that we decided it was time we moved closer to each other, to stop our relationship from being a weekend-one and making it a full-time one. Coming February we're going to live together. Now finding ourselves a good appartment is our biggest source of concern. And getting D a new job, since she'll be moving into my town.

Now G isn't in the picture anymore. Haven't e-mailed, phoned or MSN-ed with her for about three weeks and am totally comfortable with that. I still don't know exactly how she could mess up my head that bad, that dreadful Saturday (pun intended), but at least everything's sorted out enough to be fully committed to D again. I'm very, very happy about that. I won't falter again and I don't even want to think about the consequenses it would have had if I hadn't just faltered as slightly as I had, but actually had done wrong and bad things...

However, this is your thread, g30ffr3y, not mine, so I'll end my post. But not before I repeat myself...

Congratulations to the both of you, G & C! http://forums.macrumors.com/images/icons/icon14.gif