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g30ffr3y
Jan 11, 2004, 01:03 PM
not as grim as the subject line may seem, but anyhow i have one hell of a conundrum...

i have a job, at that job i have friends, some of those friends i hang out with outside of work... lets just call them A [female] B [male] C [female] and me G [male]... as odd as that may seem those are actually everyones first initials...

now, A, B and G have been working together for a few years... A is totally all about G [me]... G has no interest in A whatsoever in any sort of way like that... this is an old tired record that has been going round and round for too long, but A is not any sort of horrible person so everything is just what it is...

now A has a friend C who she managed to get hired at the vile workplace... G was warned way ahead of time by A that C has a boyfriend... certainly this is so that i would not turn my attention [ha] from A and was noted somewhere back in my memory for future reference...

so... fast forward about a month of working and hanging out... B has been asking me what i think of C, but i usually just respond with a "she has a bf, so it isnt something i have an opinion on" which is a total lie since i hold C in the highest regards... but anyway... so i generally do not hang out with A and C without B just to cut down on any tension and relieve my own personal anxiety about the whole mess...

friday... C had mentioned that her bf was gone for the weekend and she was just going to be hanging out watching a cat at his place all weekend if anyone wanted to do anything... emails go out, plans are made, but B has other responsibilities and sags out [sag=ditch] so i [G] am left to decided what would be best for me to do... so i go hang out with some friends and watch the hockey game [buffalo sabres actually won a game hooray!!!!!!!!!] all the while thinking about what i should do...

when all was said and done, i convinced myself that i had no business going over to some girls bf's house while he was out of town to hang out with two girls one of which i totally dig [his girlfriend C] and one of which totally digs me who i cant stand [A]... then i get this voicemail later in the evening that B made it and they were just chillin if i wanted to stop by... at this point it was just too late, i had to work in the mourning and just wanted to get some rest...

saturday... i am totally bummed out... i just has to convince myself that i was out of my mind to even think about someone elses girl in such a nice way... i was tired... i missed probably what wouldve been a good time... i was at work on a saturday... there was nothing to be happy about... except C that is who wasted too much of her time trying to find out what was wrong with me...

as the day unfolded C and i got to talking more and more and she mentioned that she had some beer left from last night and was just going to watch movies and drink later that night... i pretty much had the same game plan... so... if you see where this is going... stupid me, who just that night prior did the honorable thing and tried to just bow out of the situation asks C if she likes gin... oddly enough she has never had it... that conversation didnt go much further...

later in the day we talked and i opened the worm can again and told her if she got sick of drinking alone then... well... again it just sort of stopped...

now im leaving for the day and on my way out i just sort of let her know again that she could give me a call if she wanted to... and surprisingly enough the response was along the lines of "yeah i ll give you a call later"

so i go and do some errands... got the family guy seasons 1 and 2 dvd [best show ever on tv] go home and start watching them... around nine the phone rings, its C, she has rented some movies and asks me over... this is just G and C mind you... so stupid me turns off the cartoons, grabs the gin and gets to going...

is this boring enough yet???

i get there, get a short tour since i wasnt there the night before, she already has gigli playing which is quickly ignored by gin sampling [bombay sapphire, which she ends up liking believe it or not] and harmless conversation... realizing we missed most of the movie we turn it off and put on SWAT... again it gets ignored and this dudes dvd player is skipping the disc so we give up and turn on SNL... still just talking and drinking...

i get a warning from C that alcohol leads to increased proximity... uh oh... note as a rule i demand a mandatory three feet of personal space at all costs at all times... did i say uh oh... so now we're closer and she decides to put on her pajamas which are nothing more than loose comfy pants and a fleece pullover... not a big deal... right...

closer, closer, lots of hugs and cuteness... it eventually ends up in a conversation trying to assess what exactly is going on here... round and round we go... heres the basics... i like her, she likes me, she has a bf, we are in his house, he is out of town... the situation is impossible...

back to gigli now... without being detailed... pretty much anything either of us wanted to happen could have happened... the green lights were on... it was all blatantly obvious... so stupid me resists and resists... the moral dilemma of it all tearing me up... i cant even kiss her... i cannot talk myself into being like that knowing that it was just this horribly wrong perfectly beautiful one time deal...

so i beat myself up, we talk, i beat myself up, she tells me its ok, i beat myself up... nothing happens... four am it starts to be time to maybe leave... with no resolution the circle goes round and round... she tells me i can sleep there, i couldnt do it, but it took til six am for me to get up the will to just walk out the door...

this is so terribly sad for both of us...

so... i got about four hours of the worst loneliest sleep ive ever had... i had to walk out on a beautiful, sexy girl... ive been laying here going over this... finally i just decided to put up my sad story for the mac community...

the bf comes back today [has been the bf for three years apparently]... nothing happened to regret, the only regret is nothing happened, but that wouldve done no one any good... monday everything will just be what it always was, im sure A,B,C and G will hang out again, C and G may hang out again... i wish she would call really...

why cant things be easy... if i did the right thing not doing anything why do i have to feel like such crap... this sucks worse than gateway...

i dont know what a response could be to this, but i just wanted to talk and i cant really tell anyone any of this because everyone is connected to everyone and this involves work people, would just be too messy...

so, thanks for reading... im just going to lay hear...

tpjunkie
Jan 11, 2004, 01:35 PM
ah, the old girl-with-a-boyfriend dilema...sorry i've got no solid advice here...im surprised that with drinking involved nothing ended up happening....it's been my experience that with some booze, the part where you said "anything that we wanted to happen could have happened" usually leads to all that ACTUALLY happening.

fugeelama
Jan 11, 2004, 01:41 PM
Before any one else starts ripping into you and calling you a dumbass or whatever, I'd just like to say that I know how you feel. I've actually been in that same position for a few months now, with a girl I've known forever that does nothing but complain about her bf and is usually willing to ditch him in favor of hanging out with me... Basically there's nothing I can do, so I just don't think about it. Luckily, I've met a few girls lately that have helped me take my mind off my predicament :) Nothing like waking up next to a beautiful woman to make you forget about your other troubles ;)

fugeelama
Jan 11, 2004, 01:52 PM
Originally posted by tpjunkie
it's been my experience that with some booze, the part where you said "anything that we wanted to happen could have happened" usually leads to all that ACTUALLY happening.

That explains last night! Or was it the night before? Ah hell, I can't even remember :cool:

tpjunkie
Jan 11, 2004, 02:08 PM
sounds like you should stop by the "have u ever been drunk" thread ;)

fugeelama
Jan 11, 2004, 02:10 PM
::glances at tpjunkie's icon::

look who's talking?

oh wait, i see you've already been there too :D

XnavxeMiyyep
Jan 11, 2004, 02:14 PM
You did the right thing. If you hadn't stopped yourself, you could have ruined their 3 year relationship, and jeopardized your friendship.

Phil Of Mac
Jan 11, 2004, 03:14 PM
She's doing it intentionally to play with your mind and try to start an affair with you. At least that's my call.

iJon
Jan 11, 2004, 03:33 PM
why do you keep waiting for her to call,call her :rolleyes:. and your biggest mistake was not kissing her that night, if you had done that you would have for sure learned if she wanted you or not.

iJon

Phil Of Mac
Jan 11, 2004, 03:36 PM
Originally posted by iJon
why do you keep waiting for her to call,call her :rolleyes:. and your biggest mistake was not kissing her that night, if you had done that you would have for sure learned if she wanted you or not.

iJon, your utter lack of morality never ceases to amaze me.

iJon
Jan 11, 2004, 03:58 PM
Originally posted by Phil Of Mac
iJon, your utter lack of morality never ceases to amaze me.
well thank you phil, im the kind of guy who is going to make a move if im by myself with a girl who i can obviously tell she likes me. i dont want to sit at home on saturday night and i wonder if she likes me and hoping she calls me. thanks for you concer though.

iJon

Phil Of Mac
Jan 11, 2004, 04:02 PM
Originally posted by iJon
well thank you phil, im the kind of guy who is going to make a move if im by myself with a girl who i can obviously tell she likes me. i dont want to sit at home on saturday night and i wonder if she likes me and hoping she calls me. thanks for you concer though.

I was referring to the fact that you utterly ignored the SHAB factor.

Veldek
Jan 11, 2004, 04:02 PM
Well, I've been in a similar situation years ago. I didn't want anything from my best girlfriend and she had a relationship that already lasted years (don't remember how much but more than three). She fell in love with me and we were drunk one evening being alone in her house. I couldn't do anything because she had a boyfriend (ok, I wasn't in love with her at this time, but anything could have happened though). I think me and you made the right decision. I would think if she was really after you, she would end her relationship with her current boyfriend. My best girlfriend did! We never came together, though I fell in love with her some time later, when she already was over me. I really think she should be the one to make the first step.

fugeelama
Jan 11, 2004, 04:02 PM
I think everyone agrees that the right course of action would have been to do something, except that there's one little problem: her boyfriend. The G-man just wanted to vent about how much it sucks to have morals, even when you've got the perfect opportunity literally sitting in your lap.

iJon
Jan 11, 2004, 04:04 PM
Originally posted by fugeelama
I think everyone agrees that the right course of action would have been to do something, except that there's one little problem: her boyfriend. The G-man just wanted to vent about how much it sucks to have morals, even when you've got the perfect opportunity literally sitting in your lap.
thats true, morals are nice, but the only way that would stop me is if her boyfriend was one of my good friends, if its not then he has nothing to lose, other than getting his ass kicked.

iJon

Phil Of Mac
Jan 11, 2004, 04:07 PM
Originally posted by iJon
thats true, morals are nice, but the only way that would stop me is if her boyfriend was one of my good friends, if its not then he has nothing to lose, other than getting his ass kicked.

And that is what prompted my remark about your utter lack of morals.

iJon
Jan 11, 2004, 04:15 PM
Originally posted by Phil Of Mac
And that is what prompted my remark about your utter lack of morals.
well there is two opinions here. either she is a ho and is sleeping around, or she acutally liked him and really isnt into her boyfriend anymore. its more of her not having morals then him, they both like each other, why wouldnt they go for it. yes i would feel more comfortable with her breaking it off wit her guy beforep pursuing men, but if i know its a lost cause and its gonna end when he gets back i would go for it, but please, keep me updated on how my actions are going, i love getting dating advice from macrumors.

iJon

wdlove
Jan 11, 2004, 04:23 PM
You are in quit a dilema. I congratulate you on acting so responsibly. There was nothing wrong with you hanging out with her.

Dros
Jan 11, 2004, 04:27 PM
I think you did the right thing, except to hang around like a sad sack all night. If you think she is a long term possibility, then starting off your relationship by having sex in her bf's house is not the way to go. Think you may wonder what is going on every time you leave town if you two did that?

You've each said you have feelings for each other. If she thinks you are worth leaving her bf for, then she will and you'll be able to pursue her without any regrets. If not, then you'll have slept with her and now have to work with her, see her boyfriend every now and then, realize that it is a matter of time before A and B hear about the matter, and in general make your life less pleasant.

Maybe she wants to leave the bf. People screw around when they don't have the guts to call it off and try to get the "relationship death penalty" by some egregious offense. Don't get involved in that kind of mess!

3rdpath
Jan 11, 2004, 04:40 PM
having been in the same situation as you...and unfortunately, not behaved as wisely...i will say nothing good can come of this. any girl who would screw around on her BF ( and in his apt...) is bad news. she may be a beautiful, funny, charming brickhouse but she's lacking integrity. what she's doing to her BF...she will do to you.

deep freeze this chick....and fast.:eek:

fugeelama
Jan 11, 2004, 04:48 PM
Originally posted by 3rdpath
any girl who would screw around on her BF ( and in his apt...) is bad news. she may be a beautiful, funny, charming brickhouse but she's lacking integrity. what she's doing to her BF...she will do to you.

Exactly. What's to say that, even if she claims she'll never do it again, she wouldn't do it to you?

Not many people talk about their problems anymore, but why not just ask her? Take her out on a friendly date if it'll make you feel better -- go out for coffee or something -- and just ask her about "the other night"

alxths
Jan 11, 2004, 05:26 PM
I haven't read every reply here,but it seems that most people believe that he should've made a move then. Which is just silly--she has a boyfriend and the man is making an effort to respect him and common morality. g30ffr3y, if she really does see something important between the two of you, she will leave her boyfriend for you. Otherwise, making a move on her before that happens would only be taking advantage of whatever is causing her insecurity right now(hormones, identity crisis, who the hell knows), which she would undoubtedly feel guilty for later on. I think you've made the right decision so far, just stick wiht it and it'll be better off for everyone in the end.

Dros
Jan 11, 2004, 05:39 PM
I just wanted to add to my post above... I think you did the right thing, BUT I don't think you did it out of any real moral sense.

Time for some self honesty here. I think you knew it was wrong so didn't start anything, and kudos for that. But I also think you hung around until 6 am hoping that SHE would make a strong move so that you could rationalize it later that you didn't do anything wrong since you she made the decision to go outside the relationship.

If that sounds mean, well, I was in a similar situation before (she did make the move) and in retrospect I wish I had the maturity to do the right thing and not abdicate responsibility to her.

coopdog
Jan 11, 2004, 06:24 PM
That was the hardest thing i have ever tried to read.

fugeelama
Jan 11, 2004, 07:47 PM
Boy, it sure is interesting to read the different views people have on this situation!

MattG
Jan 11, 2004, 08:05 PM
Well hey man, it was really big of you to do what you did. I'm sure she respects you for it.

Kwyjibo
Jan 11, 2004, 08:29 PM
A few things i've learned,

Once a cheater always a cheater. sounds like the girl is looking for a good reason to break up with her current BF. Not quite a clean break but shes mentally packing up ...she can't still be into that guy too much if shes making situations like this.

I think it was your call to make; and its whatever your most comofrtable with but not reason you can't move forward with your getting to know her period and maybe picking up the rebound depending on your agenda ...

Again this is your life and your situation; i don't care how you play your hand but keep what I said in mind. I mean if you like her as much as it seems then either wait the relatiosnhip out or cut your bait and move on

g30ffr3y
Jan 11, 2004, 10:13 PM
Wow… it is very interesting to see everyones take on my little situation… ive gone over many things you guys have posted in my head… I ended up getting motivated and watched the eagles game with some friends… its just all sinking in more and im no less confused, but willing to accept whatever outcome there is…
My decision may or may not have been morally related… I just believe very strongly on the things you do coming back at you three fold scenario… I also try to maintain a certain level of integrity… I do have to sit back and yell at myself for being a schlep every few hours though… if anything would’ve happened that night, it would’ve been no way to start a proper relationship should that even be an option, which is the ultimate goal… otherwise things may have not gone quite the same way…
Anyway… tomorrow is work, the only day this week we will physically be in the same building which may or may not be good… I guess I can only hope that what is supposed to happen happens and whatever that is, I hope its at least no worse than my life was before this… it’s a shame these things need to be so difficult…

pseudobrit
Jan 11, 2004, 11:47 PM
Originally posted by Phil Of Mac
It's not an insult. You think it is, but that's your subjective judgment that's completely bogus. Now you're objectively claiming that it was an "insult" ;)

With one key difference:

His subjective judgement can be as bogus as cold fusion and still get you banned.

mgargan1
Jan 11, 2004, 11:57 PM
man, that was once looong ass read. Okay, well I was in the same situation, and the thing that I learned was that if it weren't for their good looks, or their soft skin, or their breasts, and other parts of their bodies... women would be overrated... ;) I mean, they don't know what they want, and they want us (men) to give it to them. This C girl, doesn't know what she wants, and you did the right thing by not making any move... cause if you did do something, and you get more feelings for this girl, she's just gonna remember that she's been with her boyfriend for 3 years, and will prolly go back with him. Oh and by the way, I hate Philly, but D. McNabb is an amazing QB, that was one great game, although Green Bay, should have gone for it on 4th and 1.

And one more thing... G man, gateway doesn't suck... they provide me with a great paycheck twice every month. I can think of many companies that suck worse than Gateway does. But good luck to you

Counterfit
Jan 11, 2004, 11:57 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
but that wouldve done no one any good... There's someone in your pants that disagrees with you ;)

Dros
Jan 12, 2004, 12:49 AM
The poster has a personal experience that clearly has him confused... and some of you go off on Intro to Philosophy 101 at the drop of a hat. I doubt he's relishing the subtleties of inherently contradictory statement supporting or not supporting absolute morality when he is thinking "should I have touched her cheek and murmured 'would you like a back rub' in my most non-leering voice after filling her up with gin and promoting pseudo-intimacy by semi-discussing our mutual attraction?"

Not that I'm being nice to him.. I think he was trying to have it both ways, getting the girl but hoping that she would make it alright by making the move.

But this movement to the abstract is alarming!
[edit]
umm... see "morals are subjective" split for this to make sense.

g30ffr3y
Jan 12, 2004, 08:11 AM
before this thread does get wastelanded, i just wanted to say "holy crap"!!! the hijack got pretty deep... ive got an hour and a half before i see where my real life is going to go... yarble yarble yarble...

Mr. Anderson
Jan 12, 2004, 08:29 AM
I just read through most of this pile of horse crap - I'm splitting the thread - eagerly awaiting g30ffr3y's update.

I've been there too, quite a few years ago. The anguish, confusion and angst just don't make it worth it.

One big problem is the fact that you have to work with them - that alone is a huge mistake. I dated a woman at work once and that was one time too many. I'd avoid any personal attachment here and go find someone else.

D

CmdrLaForge
Jan 12, 2004, 10:58 AM
...well and it is definitly a very long story. Would be even better if you could use fake names like Aragon or something.

Cheers

jeff.macaddict
Jan 12, 2004, 10:59 AM
Life is for the living, so have fun! Thats all I've got to say to the original poster.

Really, whats the point of living a 'good' life, free of drugs, education, suffering, and fun. You all are going to die anyways.:rolleyes:

And there's nothing you can do to stop it.:D

hvfsl
Jan 12, 2004, 11:09 AM
Originally posted by jeff.macaddict
Life is for the living, so have fun! Thats all I've got to say to the original poster.

Really, whats the point of living a 'good' life, free of drugs, education, suffering, and fun. You all are going to die anyways.:rolleyes:

And there's nothing you can do to stop it.:D

I agree that life is meant for living and having fun, but with in reason. As long as your activities dont have a negative effect on others then it does not matter what you do.

If everyone had your philosiphy, this planet would be even more screwed up than it is already.

Anyway, I have been in this kind of situation, and the only advise I can give you is do what you feel deep down is right.

Plus there is something that can be done about dieing, but I am not going to go into it anymore, so this does not turn into a religous thread.

Mr. Anderson
Jan 12, 2004, 11:20 AM
Living life to the fullest and living for the moment are two separate things. Understanding consequences is important as well. It might be good for a brief moment, but it can get ugly quite rapidly.

D

Dros
Jan 12, 2004, 11:24 AM
Originally posted by jeff.macaddict
Life is for the living, so have fun! Thats all I've got to say to the original poster.

Really, whats the point of living a 'good' life, free of drugs, education, suffering, and fun. You all are going to die anyways.:rolleyes:

And there's nothing you can do to stop it.:D

Yeah, it would be real 'fun' when B finds out he's been screwing C after telling him that she's already got a boyfriend so don't be going after her. And 'fun' when C breaks up with her boyfriend by making a teary-eyed confession some late night that she wasn't faithful and it was G's doing and BF goes after G with a baseball bat. And 'fun' that A hears about it and makes pathetic gestures of love day after day to demonstrate her broken heart. Who needs the angst?

Now, sure, you may say, "who can say what is absolutely good or bad" because string theory suggests new universes are splitting off with every interaction by an observer, and yet Hegel's dialectic suggests that doubt can reinstill... oops, sorry, didn't notice the thread was split!
:D

pepeleuepe
Jan 12, 2004, 11:26 AM
Here's my take on the whole situation, partially from personal experience.

If you had slept there: You would've felt good and happy about it until the next time you saw the two of them together. Then you would've felt horrible about it and wished nothing had happened. As much as you want to believe that it was only between the two of you, it would tear you apart knowing that you helped her cheat on her boyfriend of 3 years. I guess if it had been a boyfriend of a couple months it might be a different story, but not too different.

This whole situation is a hard thing to deal with. You don't want to pass up an opportunity, but you do need to think of the consequences.

rueyeet
Jan 12, 2004, 12:07 PM
The whole situation has "bad" written all over it.

So girl C is putting the moves over on you in the house of her boyfriend of three years? Nice. Bet he'd be just thrilled to know how highly she rates their relationship. Would you want your girl to do that to you? 'Cause if you let anything happen between you, she probably will....you already have the proof that she's capable of such a thing.

Plus, consider this: C is supposed to be A's friend, and I can't imagine she wouldn't know that A is after you, and yet she tries to get you for herself. Also real nice, huh? Should you allow this to happen, A will not be happy with either of you, and there goes your happy social foursome. The fact that you have to work with these people just means that you wouldn't be able to escape the resulting psychodrama and bad feeling.

You can't help who you're attracted to, and that's the part that sucks, but you certainly can help what you do about it. Let her know that you're not comfortable with helping her cheat on her boyfriend. Stand up for yourself, don't just suffer in silence and let her dick around with your emotional state, for goodness' sake.

Originally posted by mgargan1
if it weren't for their good looks, or their soft skin, or their breasts, and other parts of their bodies... women would be overrated... ;) I mean, they don't know what they want, and they want us (men) to give it to them.

Well, there's an offensive generalization if I ever saw one. :mad: Sounds like if our man G was willing to tell each of those gals A and C straight up what HE wanted, and where he draws the line, he might not be having quite as much trouble here, hmm?

g30ffr3y
Jan 12, 2004, 12:23 PM
stupid stupid me... yeah, so im sitting here at work... avoiding everything and everyone... i have cradle of filth [black metal band if youre not familiar... not black as in racial... black as in dark content] turned up so loud no one will come near me and im just doing whatever i can to keep busy... shes here, i cant even look at her when i talk... this is no good at all... basically i think im going to just get through the next four hours and then i wont actually see her at work til next friday which should give me enough time to just get over this and drop it... the A B C G social group may or may not continue, who knows... i really dont like being around A very much... that is a messed up story, but basically she [A] is dating one of my brothers friends and he thinks that im sleeping with her, i dont talk to him, i dont like her... blah... people are weird... as far as living life... i try to... i may not have slept with her the other night, but i certainly do my fair share of chemical partying to make up for it... my problem is that im either dwelling so much on something that i tear myself apart, or i cant concentrate on anything and i just lose my mind... hard to believe this year has started off the best for me in a long long long time... sad really...

Mr. Anderson
Jan 12, 2004, 12:30 PM
Try to avoid dwelling on the problem - if things had happened it would be even worse.

None of A B or C visit this site I hope :D

And there is something to be said for open communication. Being honest here might be best, and talking about it from your point of view might prevent side discussion and speculation - which just leads to more problems.

Good luck,

D

mgargan1
Jan 12, 2004, 01:43 PM
I was only half kidding about that comment that i made... I'm only bitter because I've been hurt before, and I'm still not over it. So I please don't be offended... plus, i added that ";)" so you guys would know that I was only kidding around.

cpjakes
Jan 12, 2004, 01:53 PM
g30ffr3y, you have to tell me where you work... I'm in Buffalo and have no office drama like that...

But in reality, I think you're better off. As people have said, if C is capable of doing it to her BF, then who says you won't be the BF out of town in a couple years with a new C coming over for a few drinks... And any move made would have pissed off A because of her affection for you and B because you told him C was taken.

There are many more C's around so no need to feel too much sadness about it.

wdlove
Jan 12, 2004, 02:20 PM
Thank you for the update g30ffr3y. I had hoped that your problem would be cleared up by now. Agree with Mr. Anderson, you should just drop A,B, & C. Your place of work should be for work, all this is just leading to tension.

Try to go out with your outside of the office friends.

jxyama
Jan 12, 2004, 02:28 PM
i think you did the "right" thing. i can certainly understand the "regret" and looking back part, but it's not everyday that you can stop yourself from having fun at the expense of ruining others.

i'd go talk to C. and make it clear that you won't have any of it unless she sorts out her situation with her bf. otherwise, it's unfair to you, her bf, C herself and ultimately, any relationship you may have with C.

agreenster
Jan 12, 2004, 03:18 PM
Okay first off, let me apologize for what Im about to say:

You are acting like a little baby boy. You are moping around because your poor little ego and feelings are hurt because you cant figure out what to do. You are playing these dumb middle school games, which even include her asking you "whats wrong" because you are moping around so much, and you even love that little bit of attention.

As I see it, you have two amazingly simple choices:

A) Dont give a flying ***** about her, her boyfriend, or the situation, and screw the crap out of her the first chance you get, because that seems like the only thing you are really worried abou anyway.

or

B) RESPECT her, her boyfriend, and the situation, and remain friends with her and avoid ugly situations involving being alone with lots of alcohol. Toughen up, and realize that if she really wants to be with you, she'll break up with "B" and go out with you. If she doesnt want to break up with her boyfriend, then all she wants is choice "A" anyway. Simple.

-----------

This isnt an easy choice, but please GOD, quit moping around. Act like a man and make your choice. No one likes mopers and crybabies. If you want to be the stud and the playboy, then suck it up and do it. If you want to be the gentleman, then do that. Please realize that she will judge you based on your decision, and you cant be both. One thing to know, if you choose option A, she will always know you and remember you as that kind of person, and you'll probably never become a serious boyfriend. But if that isnt what you want, then by all means choose A!

And one last thing, try to pretend you are "B" for a second and then decide. Thats what I used to do when in these positions. Usually my friendship with B would override any desires to 'get with' C, but hey, thats just me.

All I know is if someone was screwing around with my girfriend, there'd be hell to pay. Just be careful.

pseudobrit
Jan 12, 2004, 05:16 PM
Good post, agreenster. You need to get your **** together, I agree. Don't avoid people; there's no point to that behaviour. Especially if you don't want anyone thinking something's wrong.

Why mope around like your dog died? Just play it cool and act normal, otherwise you risk letting things get awkward without even giving yourself the cheap thrill of sleeping with her.

yarowe
Jan 12, 2004, 08:24 PM
Originally posted by Mr. Anderson
Try to avoid dwelling on the problem - if things had happened it would be even worse.

Good luck,

D

I aboslutely agree on this point. If you think you feel bad now, imagine avoiding her after you screwed around. g3offr3y, you restore my faith in human morals!

mymemory
Jan 12, 2004, 09:40 PM
Ok, I was late on this one.

If we all had a picture of her everything would be easier to consider.

From my point of view, I would give up to the temptation for sure, even if is my best friend girlfriend (everything would be between friends any way).

But I can not judge you, every body is different, I bet was something else there besides the moral dilema, may be she was a co-worker and the thing in the future was way more complicated than that, maybe she was very cute but that doesn't mean there was chemistry involved.

Do not feel bad for not doing what in theory everybody would do, be sure that 90% of the things people say around are not real, specially when we are kids.

blueflame
Jan 12, 2004, 10:24 PM
What happens if you sleep witha girl, then find out she has a BF, and she still wants to screw you?
what about the morals of that?
~blue

Mr. Anderson
Jan 12, 2004, 10:32 PM
then its just her fault - and you deal with it as the situation requires. The fact that she lied to you, or was unfaithful to her boyfriend is not a good thing.

D

g30ffr3y
Jan 13, 2004, 01:14 AM
so, i couldnt deal with work... i took half a personal day just to get the heck out... my neighbor had even plowed the snow out of my drive way... the other poster from buffalo surely knows about this most recent dump of snow, but this isnt about the weather so ill move on...

im just watching my family guy dvds trying to chill out and i realize what an idoit i was to not be cool at the workplace so i call her... leave a message for her to call back so we can sort this out... she calls back... we plan it for the evening at 7.30 when she gets out of work...

i just watch tv, clean up, my buddy stopped by... im just trying to stay cool and formulate a plan of action... its not working...

she shows up... we chit chat about what else happened at work and move on toward the "about, um, yeah... that" talk... she still likes me... i still like her... we talk about her relationship and exactly why she would go to me while in a serious relationship, remember they are about to move in together... it is obvious that she is not happy with her bf... she admitted trying to break up with him two months ago, but chickening out... where we fit together nicely...

she tells me she has to leave soon to walk some dog that she walks for this person!?!? i was being sort a b1tch before, so i figured i would at least kiss her... and that lasted [on and off] for about three hours... then we go and walk the dog around buffalo together...

we got back and she decided to stay for a little longer... we had a good time... things developed lets just say... this is insane... i think i will probably be the one that gets hurt in the end, but it seems that all the pieces are laid out for her to leave the bf, she just needs to put them together for herself... so who knows...

im supposed to see her tomorrow night...

stupid stupid g30f... theres me... she actually wanted me to take pictures of her, but i chose not to just yet...

RandomDeadHead
Jan 13, 2004, 02:15 AM
Good luck man, it is times like this that you will remember for the rest of your life. You will glad you tried, even if it doesn't work out and she hurts you. Because most of the fun in a relationship is trying to find out if it will work, and if it will, making it work. Go after her 100%, and don't look back.

Mr. Anderson
Jan 13, 2004, 08:43 AM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
i think i will probably be the one that gets hurt in the end

ha! Oh, you're so going to get hosed here...sorry.

But, on the good side you'll probably gain a little experience on dealing with issues in a relationship that will help you in the future.

Don't get me wrong, this might end up turning out great, but I don't give that good odds.

Good luck,

D

g30ffr3y
Jan 13, 2004, 08:51 AM
"ha! Oh, you're so going to get hosed here...sorry."

youre absolutely right mr. anderson... i really probably will end up in bad shape at the end of this... but that day is hopefully not today... i feel better after last night having actually made my stand for proper consideration... like i said in my last post... i can see all the pieces lining up... she just needs to put them together for herself... i cant make up someones mind for them, but at least i can try to help direct her down the right path...

she did ask me last night if i thought she was better than a mac... i showed her my powerbook and told her that it was now the second sexiest thing in my house... ; )

Spock
Jan 13, 2004, 09:22 AM
"We Don't Love them Hoe's"

-Snoop Dogg 1994

agreenster
Jan 13, 2004, 01:33 PM
Okay Geoff, bad move. Don't ever expect her to trust you-EVER.

You must wait until they are broken up before you start puttin the moves on, if you expect a relationship with this girl. You will feel 200% better about the situation. I cant stress enough how badly this dude is going to kick the **** out of you. But hey, you are asking for it. Dont mess with other people's women unless you have balls to stand up for yourself -- which by your consistent moping and posting depressing pictures of yourself on the web implies that you dont, sorry.

It appears to me you are the type of person who likes to be the butt of situations--you even admit that you will be hurt before the relationship even starts. You like the attention you get when people feel sorry for you. You NEED to grow a backbone and tell this chick that if she wants to be with you, (which it sounds like she does) then she must break up with Mr. B. She's putting YOU in a bad position, which means she DOESNT repsect you.

But I doubt any of this will happen. You'll continue on your chosen path, and end up in an ugly situation, and in 8 months will be crying again to the MacRumors Community that she cheated on you and broke up with you.

Cant say I feel sorry for you, but you have the power to be the mature person and make this right. Do the right thing Geoff, not for her, or the morals, or even for Mr.B--but for YOURSELF.

rueyeet
Jan 13, 2004, 02:02 PM
Originally posted by mgargan1
I was only half kidding about that comment that i made... I'm only bitter because I've been hurt before, and I'm still not over it. So I please don't be offended... plus, i added that ";)" so you guys would know that I was only kidding around.

Ah. Sorry, mistook the wink for a "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" kind of wink. Smilies are only so helpful....

As to the turn the soap opera so far has taken (and don't kid yourself, Mr. G, that's exactly what you're presenting us here) I would say that the entire sordid tale has been posted so that you can find justification or rationalization for what you really want to do: Start something up with Ms. C. You angst and you dramatize, but you do exactly what you want to anyway, don't you?

Y'know, some of the best advice I ever heard was in a movie, and applies really well to your dilemna: "Find out what you are, and BE that." Now, the movie was referring to the whole smoker/non-smoker dilemna, but the advice is actually good for a multitude of situations. Like this one.

Mr. G, you're going to try and hook up with Ms. C anyway. So quit with the drama already, stop worrying, get to it, and have as much fun as you can before the <insert euphemism here> hits the fan.

g30ffr3y
Jan 13, 2004, 03:47 PM
tough love from the mac rumors community... as far as me posting a soap opera... im not the first one to do it... i wont be the last... its interesting... plus talking to you guys about it is cool, cause ive got no where else to vent really...

some confusion... C is not dating B... B is just another member of the circle... going with the whole lettering scheme, C's bf would be D... which is true though his name is all i know, ive never seen this dude... whether he will beat me to death remains to be seen, but hopefully i can at least avoid that...

some other things... yes im mopey... i freely admit it... my experiences with relationships suck... i went out with the same girl for five years which took up most of high school and some of college... other relationships have been crappy after that... i felt good about making my stance yesterday... like i had a backbone and wasnt just going to sit back idley by while this totally rad chic just waltzes in and out of my life before i can catch her...

as far as me finding me and being that... ive struggled like crazy to find my place in the world... i think its an ongoing quest and right now i never feel more like home than when im near ms. C...

tonight my goal is just to hang out with her and drop some of the emotional melodrama off the menu... i think i would do a lot more for my cause actually showing her a good time than just getting wound up in another emotionally taxing conversation and dewy eyed looks from across the couch...

*note also i have not completely succumbed to her feline charms...* so i am trying to hold on to that "respect" for me that is so very key... i know this... respect, trust and honesty are so important... yet this is so completely disrespectful, and dishonest... but it has to be, right... there i go again looking for reassurance that im not a total scum bag... which im not... really... i swear...

i just love macs, music and apparently getting myself into sticky undesirable situations...

once again... i should just change my handle to "stupid geof"

heres a pic of something less dreary...

g30ffr3y
Jan 13, 2004, 03:48 PM
woops...

Xero
Jan 13, 2004, 06:44 PM
dude id say you have definitly done the right thing, when you called her and simply told her that you needed to talk about the whole thing. probably the STUPIDEST thing you couldve done (not including just sleeping with her that first night), wouldve been to not have even tried to talk to her about the whole deal. ive done that in the past, put off talking about stuff like this with girls, and nothing good EVER comes from it. but every time ive gotten the guts to actually go and confront the situation, it always helps things get better.

Also, i dont really see anything wrong with the fact that youve made out with her for hours on end at this point, as long as you are telling her that she needs to set things right, and break up with this guy. i mean, its obvious that she likes you, and that she really wants to break up with her current BF, so make sure you're giving her plenty of moral support in that direction.

and also MAKE SURE she ends up breaking up with him for the right reason, that being, that she really doesnt want to be with him anymore, and NOT simply because she was "making out with some other guy". dont be afraid to pick up the rebound on this, but just be careful, because rebound relationships can be risky...

good luck man, keep us updated.

pseudobrit
Jan 13, 2004, 06:58 PM
Back off. Tell her once she dumps her boyfriend you'll go out with her. Until then, you shouldn't hang out. Otherwise she's likely to end up moving in with him and you'll be stuck with that situation. If she can have both guys now and it suits her life, why would she change it? You're giving her no incentive to change her situation.

To that end, why are you fully and actively ****ing around with another guy's chick? Were I he, I'd likely kick your mopey ass from Buffalo to a warmer climate. But I'm a hockey player, so I tend to be a little chippy. And you're screwing the whole foundation of any relationship -- trust. How can you ever trust her knowing that she started going out with another guy before she dumped him? What's to say she won't do the same with you? Have the decency to him and yourself to respect his situation and your future.

Don't listen to what people say -- listen to what they do. She says she's going to dump him, but has she? No. That means something is keeping her there. She hasn't told you what and you can't ask her, because you won't get the truth. Watch her actions; ignore her words.

It's obvious she wants you, so why are you persuing her at all? Why compliment her? Why call her? Sit back, *PLAY IT COOL* and lay down the rules and the law now or this whole thing is going to go pear-shaped for you at a later date.

She's running the show.

You are out of control.

It's not that you're "a scumbag," but you're doing dumb **** and you need to stop -- now.

g30ffr3y
Jan 13, 2004, 11:02 PM
pseudo and xero... you guys are very wise... ill admit we hung out today... but i was determined to make it different... not just the emotionally taxing convo and "pseudo [sorry man] closeness"

i was playing manhunt on PS2 when she got here... for anyone not familiar its an ultraviolent, think "the running man" meets grand theft auto type game... she watched me go through this mall with a shotgun and a glass shard digging peoples eyes out... and enjoyed it... plus i managed to get past the level so i wasnt a total screw up... fun... and i pushed here boundries of both video game dorkiness and desire to play sociopathic muder simulators... A+ for me...

then we watched the simple life reunion and chit chatted about whatever... but not bf's or "situations"... just regular stuff... A+ as far as i can see...

oh... ive got to say that me not being a "mr. mustace" and sleeping with her the first day was the best decision i couldve made... i absolutely believe that... she even comments to me that im good... but not like shes blowing darts at me... like she respects me more...

so we decide we're going to watch "the ring"... oh yeah she also go a look at my dvd collection... pointed out my stanley kubricks... absolutely approved of my other choices... i own no comedy besides the family guy... comedy gets dated and stale over time where as thinking movies are worth owning because they will always have substance... sorry for the rant...

now we are just chillin on the couch separate watching the movie and gradually gravitate towards each other which ends up with me shoving her off the couch... it was a riot... i told her i was going to through her in the snow next and have my way with her... obviously this was in jest and taken as so... we end up just sitting right close to each other... til her phone rings...

you see the goal of this evening was to have a good fun time... help prove that we are good together and we never watch movies because we just talk or have wacky antics... but...

so it was the bf... he was out of town again... but was back and drove by her house... so she has to go... she says its not to draw attention to us... i believe her... i agree that i would rather he just never knew... we talk briefly... about us...

i wanna believe this is going to work out...
i wanna believe it... the subject matter of even our fun day conversations is like a bright light in my otherwise dark world... its just good... i dont have proper words beyond those...

shes supposed to call me tomorrow... we may try to hang out with A and B so that C and G can see each other without D having to be lied to or even concern himself with the existance of a G... which would not be positive for my ass...

so if this is too mopey or soap operaish or just stupid at this point just tell me to quite updating... ill go back to pissing people off in the music forums or something... but i dont mind updates... so if its cool...

pseudobrit... i think ill take what you say about being cool seriously... like today i was chilled out... and i can maintain this level with her... im not going to play games... but ive done what i can do... she has to decide... we will definitly not see each other friday saturday or sunday because shes going to visit her parents... hopefully she sorts it out... tomorrow is only wednesday... i almost had the thought of hanging out in a group today... but today was better this way... tomorrow might be a good group day... i wonder how we will handle ourselves as this is top secret for the work peoples... i doubt itll even work out... who knows...

xero... about that rebound stuff... we talked about what it would be like if she did break up with him... we decided that we would try to start from a zero type point... or as close as possible... how that would play out remains to be seen... could it go backwards??? the two of us just being in the same room causes magnet like effects...

alright geof... youre an ice cube... whew...

Xero
Jan 13, 2004, 11:57 PM
well sounds good man. it seems you have things under a reasonable amount of control for the time being. but i think its good for her to make a solid choice one way or the other, and make it sooner than later. because its going to become increasingly harder and harder for the both of you to not just totally jump each other and go at it... beleive me. so id just say continue to push her to make a definite decision about her current BF, but your wise to not bring it up too often. just continue to do what your doing maybe for a bit longer, and if nothing seems to change, then you have to start taking action again. sometimes people just need a shove in the right direction. she may really want to take action, but for a lot of people, and possibly her too, it takes the support of other people to get them to act on their feelings. good luck man, and dont worry, your not boring me to death at least, or else i wouldnt be replying! :) so keep us updated.

just out of curiosity, where do you work, or what do you do at work?

pseudobrit
Jan 14, 2004, 12:18 AM
You may feel good about today, but you're still seeing her. And she's still got a boyfriend. That's the number one problem.

You shouldn't be seeing her until she gets rid of her boyfriend. You're rewarding her two-timing by continuing to flirt with her and hang out. What she's doing is bad behaviour and you continue to feed it and encourage it. Back off and give her incentive to change.

You need to put your foot down and limit yourself to how much you're seeing of her. You shouldn't even be talking about when you're going to see her next, that makes you look needy and clingy. Just let it happen if it's going to. Also, if she's telling you about her boyfriend and where he is it sends the message that she's not going to dump him anytime soon. So back off.

Remember: talk is cheap, words are free, actions are everything. And right now she's acting like she can have it both ways.

Also, having her over to watch you play videogames and watch TV is a bum move. That's what you like doing in your spare time, not how you woo a woman. I play hockey and/or go to the gym everyday to be the best athlete I can be. Sure, I'll take a chick to a hockey game or out to a public skate but I'm not about to drag her to the gym or the rink where I practice. That's MY time and MY life. If you want to watch something take her to dinner and a movie.

Stop seeing so much of her. You can't date her, so don't see her at all outside of group situations and work. Look at it like this: if it's meant to be, you'll be spending the rest of your lives together. Why rush to spend hours and hours with her now?

You do need to play it cool, but you're not. Playing it cool means living your own life and not seeing her until you're both single.

Xero
Jan 14, 2004, 12:27 AM
i agree with a lot of what pseudobrit, is saying. but just not hanging out with her at ALL, i dont think will help the situation. if you only see her when youre with your group of friends, things could easily become awkward, because you wouldnt end up ever talking about the situation. and although actions are the most important thing, talking is what causes actions, and its KEY to any relationship situation. lack of communication is the MAIN culprit in relationships gone wrong, weather they are friendships or more. i have a feeling that a lack of communication in her current relationship is a big part of why its probably gone on longer than it should have. to me it sounds like shes willing to open up to someone who shows an ability to communicate, and you seem like youve got a good sense of that. im guessing person D isnt so hot on the communication thing, and he seems to be a bit of the controlling type too. :\ ... i dont know though, i could be totally off on that.

pseudobrit
Jan 14, 2004, 12:45 AM
Originally posted by Xero
lack of communication is the MAIN culprit in relationships gone wrong

I have to disagree here. I have found that the woman being no longer interested in the man is the main culprit in relationships gone wrong. She usually loses interest when he's too available for her. The thrill goes away. Which is why you need to find yourself before you become a couple, then keep yourself as that person and not submit to letting the relationship affect who you are and what you do.

Sedulous
Jan 14, 2004, 01:35 AM
...could be worse, everyone you care about lives on the other side of the world.

Phil Of Mac
Jan 14, 2004, 01:39 AM
It's things like this that make me so grateful that I am single.

Dros
Jan 14, 2004, 01:43 AM
I'm enjoying the soap opera. You are in a tough situation... no doubt about it. Hard to think straight when you are attracted to someone, and the "forbidden love/repressed desire" aspect of this can melt a persons brain.

I still think you are playing the nice guy but actually wanting to do "bad" things (I'm calling them nice/bad for convenience, please let's not debate actual morality here). You say you just want to hang out, but then, just as a joke, you "throw her off the couch" and then talk about sex. That is a bad sign. Think about young people that like each other. They hit each other in the arm. Slightly older? They tickle. Even older? They do stuff like "oh, I'm a fortune teller... let me touch your hand and trace your life line in a slightly sensual way".

Don't deny it... you wanted those actions to spur a little more smooching, but wanted her to instigate.

So my advice is the same as before. Don't be pretending to yourself. If that was your goal and you think it is wrong, then don't put yourself in that situation. If that is what your mind and , umm, body agree is what you want, then just kiss her again and be prepared for the consequences.

And the "hang out with A and B". Bad idea. You two will be quivering with repression and it will be obvious to even the waitress that something is going on.

Trust me, this part can seem really fun. You can drive each other crazy for quite a while thinking about what could happen. But it isn't a relationship you are working towards, because a relationship isn't built on "if only I could but I can't".

g30ffr3y
Jan 14, 2004, 10:32 AM
ok guys here goes... this is the best part... i only pray that nothing changes after i type this because i will not be well...

after i posted last nights events i went to bed... 12.15 the phone rings... i know its her... shes crying... i cant really understand her so i just ask her back over... anyone care to guess where this is going???

a couple minutes later there she is... crying but not overly distraught... i just give her a hug and we start talking... i guess once she got over to the bf's place he brought up moving in together... she told him she wasnt ready... they agreed that indeed there relationship had grown apart... not because of me... just because... she actually mentioned earlier that she had really just been hanging on for the last year...

now shes just smiling... im smiling... everything has fallen into place... nothing "bad" happened... we just watched some family guy and she took off around 1.15...

so only a few days ago i had the lonliest four hours of sleep... last night i just couldnt sleep i felt high as a kite... but on joy, not anything questionable...

we are most assurdedly [spelling... i obviously dont spell well] going to see each other tonight... she still has a few belongings to get from the bf's house... i need to get some anti cat allergy meds now... this is good... she told me she didnt leave him for me... she left him for her... which is really the only way this could work... she also said that she didnt want to be sneaking around... she didnt want us to have to think about the "situation" while we are together... F@CKING AWESOME... sorry mods... just an adjective not a dirty word...

shes going to visit her 'rents after work friday and coming back monday... she said i could go... but i have to decline this first time... plus i dont want to send up red flags taking personal time at work... by the way... for those of you who want to know what i do... im a tech support [not call center] rep for a cell phone company... basically i reflash firmwares and provision internet access when the network screws it up... and im buffalos most annoying macaddict... but hey... ive got about four people here ready to plunk down hard earned cash on the ipod mini... and a few others who will be buying macs as there next computers... just a year ago [december first] i convinced my mom to get an ibook for my dad and an imac for my brother... thats when i got my powerbook too... three macs in one day... : ) my old assistant manager also bought a MDD g4 last year... thanks to my persuation...

i have to work on girlie girl... she has a dell... id like to see her in more of a g4 ibook... ill set her up at a user on my quicksilver and get to mac training her... hehehe...

as far as me playing video games and stuff with her... that was important that we can connect on all different levels... im not going to make a habit of it... i just wanted to see...

shoving her off the couch and stuff was all just fun playing around... i honestly didnt mean to cover up my own "bad" intentions... i didnt want her to be "bad" towards me either... as may be obvious but the physicallity of the relationship is not my first concern... that all developes... its the base thats important... and at the base of it all... we just like being together... which i think we can all say is true after yesterdays late night turn of events... and that is so very key...

tonight we may hang with the group... should be fun now that the mess is sorted out... the magnetic like tension will be undeniable yet we will deny it... even if we dont... f@ck it... the electricity is popping out of me even as i type... its only 11.24... i have to be here til 6.30... puke...

so the sad story has a happy ending... well in the immediate... dont think there wont be more mopey, sappy, crappy threads from me... but today "everything looks so much better now"
geoffrey & christine <-- i like that...

thanks everyone!!!

agreenster
Jan 14, 2004, 11:20 AM
Glad everything seems to be working out, but make sure you don't end up just being "rebound boy," because now its starting to sound like that. I mean, asking you to the folks house the day she breaks up with her long term boyfriend? YIKES. That just means she isnt ready to be alone, so she needs a rebound boy.

Well, at least shes broken up with Mr. D (sorry about the B confusion, I got confused, too many alphabet people)

Random thought: I wonder how many "..."s there were in your last post?

Man, this still sounds like middle school drama, but oh well.

Good luck

g30ffr3y
Jan 14, 2004, 11:29 AM
agreenster i hope youre very very wrong... youre point is valid and well taken... i would just like to believe that is not the case...

as far as my constant "..." 's... thoughts just go through my head so fast i cant make complete sentances... think of the dots as me just taking a breath before my head explodes... plus... isnt it just so boring to be like everyone else and use proper grammar and punctuation... : )

yes i did graduate college... with a major in business and a minor in psychology... i am by no means dumb... just enthusiastic...

rueyeet
Jan 14, 2004, 11:35 AM
Y'know, I've known at least two different girls that had to have a new guy lined up before they could find the strength to end a failing relationship. One was calling it off with a fiance; the other is now going through a divorce. But I can unequivocally say that neither of them should have stayed in the relationships they were in, so you pays your money and takes your chances, I guess.

So maybe your Christine just needed the crystallization of thought and the impetus that a second option provides before she could do what she already knew needed to be done. I'm glad that she found the motivation, and hope things work out well for the two of you.

In my time listening to all my friends go through all life's problems, not to mention having my own issues, I've noticed that half the time we already know what we need or want to do about an issue, and just need to identify and deal with whatever is keeping us from doing it. Therapists make tons of money off doing this for people. :)

Best of luck....!

cpjakes
Jan 14, 2004, 11:40 AM
Glad to hear things seem better, but I'd have to agree about being careful with the rebound thing. It's a tricky situation. But if she's had a year to decide it's over with the old BF, maybe she is ready now if mentally it's been done for a while. You never know.

And if she does get into Macs, make sure this thread is nuked before she becomes a Macrumors member. She probably wouldn't like the story of A, B, C, G and C's BF being public knowledge. :-)

cpjakes

g30ffr3y
Jan 14, 2004, 11:44 AM
macrumors is my place to hang out... ill send her over to spymac or something... or ill just be her very own mac "genius" with a little help from my virtual posse...

Dros
Jan 14, 2004, 12:21 PM
Well, good luck. I think you handled the late night drama pretty well. The parent invite does seem strange, but on the other hand, she is probably just excited about you! Even if she is locked into going home with a guy on her arm and doesn't want to go alone, that isn't the worst crime in the world.

I'd say take it slow and try to start from scratch, but who am I kidding? You'll be clawing each others' clothes off like rabbits ASAP. The weird part is going to be the first "after". All that tension gone, each of you will be thinking... "gosh, now what?" Try to do something low key and normal, like take a walk (oh wait, you're in Buffalo) to enjoy the company.

noel4r
Jan 14, 2004, 12:46 PM
dude, just do it... perfect situation if you ask me. you get to do girl C with no commitments whatsoever. let her boyfriend deal with all the BS. you just come in whenever boyfriend isn't around or is being a jerk. trust me if you dont do it, you will regret it years from now.... i'm telling you...

g30ffr3y
Jan 14, 2004, 12:51 PM
like take a walk (oh wait, you're in Buffalo) to enjoy the company.


we actually did go for a walk together on monday... she walks dogs as a side job so i went with her... when youre in buffalo... you can deal with the snow and the cold up to a point... and now ive got someone to curl up with anyhow... so let it snow... i suspect i would have a hard time in cuerputino with the heat... although id love to have to deal with the heat working for apple... but i digress...

anyway... we are trying to be slow about it... now we have all the time in the world... we just like to see each other... i suspect she only asked me to go with her this weekend so we wouldnt be apart for four days so soon after we got together... she did offer to go a different weekend... but maybe the few days apart will help us "reset"... or sink in... or drive us to want to spend even more time together once she gets back... no matter what... so long as she doesnt disappear all of a sudden for some crazy reason ill be happy...

rueyeet... i read your post on a different thread about relationships and romance and flowers being a sell out gift and i totally agree... i always try to pick up on the little things... from the crow "little things meant so much to shelley... i always thought they were trivial... nothing is trivial" thats how i try to be... not that i would never give her flowers... but id make damn sure that they were extra special and custom tailored just for her...

g30ffr3y
Jan 14, 2004, 12:54 PM
ok... i do feel stupid for asking this... but most people who have read this have a lot more to think im retarded about anyway...

how do you post a bold quote from someone elses post in your post...

g30ffr3y
Jan 14, 2004, 01:20 PM
Congrats on getting to a better place for you g30ffr3y.

I have to say, after reading this thread, I can't wait to get home and kiss my wife! I always hated the dating game...


if i knew how to quote that instead of paste it i would... *cough cough*

im glad my thread ended up positive... i didnt think it would when it started... but son of a gun it did... im glad people are reading/read this... its a good story... was quite difficult to live through...

tdhurst
Jan 14, 2004, 02:14 PM
Here's my buddies rule. If you know the guy and like him, don't do it. If you know the guy and hate him, do it. If you don't know the guy...and she starts it...who the hell are you to argue?

agreenster
Jan 14, 2004, 03:02 PM
I had a good friend who joined the Marines, and while he was away his girlfriend/ex girlfriend totally hit on me/told me she had always liked me. Needless to say, we went out one night (before I knew all of this) because she was ;lonely' and we ended up back at her place and next thing I knew she wanted to, well, um, you know.

So I shut it down. Seriously. Man, that chick was WICKED hot. (Shannon Elizabeth hot, easy) There are days I regret jumping at the chance, but I couldnt imagine being in the marines myself and wondering if my girlfriend back home was gettin with my friend. Just couldnt do it.

She ended up goin out with some other guy a couple months later and broke the marine's heart. For some reason, my friend (the marine) heard that it was me (which it wasnt, sheesh) and has never spoken to me again. I never knew what happened to him. Maybe he's in Iraq. Bummer deal. We were good friends.

agreenster
Jan 14, 2004, 03:07 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
if i knew how to quote that instead of paste it i would... *cough cough*

im glad my thread ended up positive... i didnt think it would when it started... but son of a gun it did... im glad people are reading/read this... its a good story... was quite difficult to live through...

Hit the "quote" button on the bottom right of the post.

Well, we were never trying to be mean at the start of the thread Geoff, just very concerned that you might ****** something up and were being a bit critical to make sure you didnt get hurt or vice versa. Hey, you wanted advice, you got it! ;)

agreenster
Jan 14, 2004, 03:11 PM
Originally posted by Stelliform
Sounds like you got the fall out anyway.. :( Now I can see why you regret not taking advantage of the situation. :)

Once in a while, but not often. I feel like I made the right choice.

The week after I turned this chick down, I met my future wife. (been married for a year and a half, have been together for 5+)

Trust me, can't think of a happier ending.

g30ffr3y
Jan 14, 2004, 03:31 PM
Originally posted by agreenster
Hit the "quote" button on the bottom right of the post.

Well, we were never trying to be mean at the start of the thread Geoff, just very concerned that you might ****** something up and were being a bit critical to make sure you didnt get hurt or vice versa. Hey, you wanted advice, you got it! ;)

that is so cool... i cannot believe i missed it... holy cow... see why i need advice... i miss the obvious and overthink the critical...

i never thought anyone was being mean... some things i maybe didnt want to hear even though they very well may have been true... who knows what will happen... i may still get hurt... but i dont want to think like that... i dont want to defeat myself after ive come so far... ya know... if it does fail then that is life i suppose... but i see no reason not to believe that this truly is different... it just feels different...

i did indeed want advice... and it helped... everyone opened my mind up to what was really going on... in the end it was my hand to play... but i did the best i could...

so how do i add multiple quotes... once i clicked the one quote button i got to the post entry screen with no more fancy quote buttons...

g30ffr3y
Jan 14, 2004, 03:34 PM
Originally posted by agreenster
Once in a while, but not often. I feel like I made the right choice.

The week after I turned this chick down, I met my future wife. (been married for a year and a half, have been together for 5+)

Trust me, can't think of a happier ending.


if you had slept with her you may never have even met your future wife... see how things come back to you... its not "bad" to be "good"... this is a good lesson...

i just hope im not posting in a month about how im so royally screwed... that would suck...

pseudobrit
Jan 14, 2004, 05:15 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
i just hope im not posting in a month about how im so royally screwed... that would suck...

If you're that emotionally involved in a month, you've gone too far too fast.

Take it slow, live your life, let her live hers and keep your head up. Don't be blinded by a whirlwind romance.

BTW, did she officially dump her boyfriend or did she just kind of split with him a little? She has to pull the trigger all the way, y'know?

Counterfit
Jan 14, 2004, 06:31 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
so how do i add multiple quotes... once i clicked the one quote button i got to the post entry screen with no more fancy quote buttons... There are a couple ways, you could do it manually by using {quote][/quote}, like thisor by using a couple tabs/windows and copying pasting the stuff that gets added in the new post window

cr2sh
Jan 14, 2004, 07:35 PM
Like monkies they are.. never letting go of one branch until they have a firm grasp on another.

This girl feels bad about breaking up with her BF.. that's why she was crying when she called you. Sometime in the next month, her and her "ex" will have sex again.. you cannot trust her. She will flop sides, not tell you about it, and if you play this hand like a normal "new" relationship.. you're going to lose.

You'll probably lose either way, she's got you beat now and there's very little left that you can do to get control of it. In one of your posts you stated that she said that you could come to some event.. wow, she's giving you permission to do something. That's just great.

You're happy. I understand that. Christ, you're thrilled to jesus... fine. I wouldn't trust her - not for a second. The best thing you can do is keep it interesting for her. She's doing this because she likes the drama, god her life has been a boring mess that a relationship is, for 3 years now, and you honestly think that what you two have now is so perfect that she's willing to hop right back into it?

She's going to freak out on you in about a week.. say things are going too fast and back peddle. At that point she'll prolly try to get back with her ex.
Blow her off. Stand her up. Doing something, but for the love of god.. put this **** on ice.

You won't do that though. :) Its a lesson you have to learn for yourself.

pseudobrit
Jan 14, 2004, 10:47 PM
Glad I'm not the only one seeing this as going down waaaay too fast. Geoff, you're still out of control of the situation.

You're already investing heavy emotions into the situation.

iJon
Jan 14, 2004, 10:52 PM
Originally posted by pseudobrit
Glad I'm not the only one seeing this as going down waaaay too fast. Geoff, you're still out of control of the situation.

You're already investing heavy emotions into the situation.
thats what i was thinking, making a whole new thread and being all excited. sounds like a doormat. no offense but i think we will see a thread soon on "damn she left me", just have to wait and see but these threads have been like a good book.

iJon

Phil Of Mac
Jan 14, 2004, 10:57 PM
Well, if this does turn out badly, it'll be good for him in the end, since he'll know better and he'll know to take control and not be a doormat.

Either that or this woman will know she has someone who can be whipped easily, and he'll be miserable for most of his life.

Let's hope she dumps him instead ;)

(Okay, if we're misreading the situation, I think that's maybe better).

iJon
Jan 14, 2004, 11:00 PM
Originally posted by Phil Of Mac
Well, if this does turn out badly, it'll be good for him in the end, since he'll know better and he'll know to take control and not be a doormat.

Either that or this woman will know she has someone who can be whipped easily, and he'll be miserable for most of his life.

Let's hope she dumps him instead ;)

(Okay, if we're misreading the situation, I think that's maybe better).
exactly, he will learn from this experience not matter what.

iJon

shadowfax
Jan 14, 2004, 11:24 PM
well, as long as this isn't another version of saving silverman, i'll keep reading along...

g30ffr3y
Jan 15, 2004, 09:32 AM
i was going to leave you guys out of this... but since you guys keep reading and posting... what the heck...

yesterday was bad... whoever said she would be back peddling in no time was right... i knew it... didnt want to admit it... but i knew it...

anyway... she stopped by after work and we were ok for a little while... then we started talking and i tried to get to the bottom of exactly where her head was even at... the old bf situation... so forth and so on... i tried to ice her... i did... i told her she had to know what she wanted... then she started to get defensive but it was easily taken back down to a more suitable level... it kept spiraling out and before i knew it she was putting her coat on while i just sat in the other room... i tried to ice her... i tried to ice myself... before she left she did indeed come back into the room where i was but i just stared trying to maintain some level of whatever the opposite of patheticness would be... and i did... and she left...

so there i am... her phone rang while we were talking and i didnt get into it with her then... but it started eating me up after she left... i was sure it had to be D ya know... so... what do i do... try not to call... wait to see if she calls... shes not going to call who the f ck am i kidding... but i had to at least know if she had indeed pulled the wool over my eyes and was well on her way back to D rock... so i called her...

about all i could actually get out of my mouth for the first five minutes was "uh"... i was a rabbit in the headlights... i shouldnt have called i knew that then... i know i am doing the wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong things... so we talked... actually very well for the first time on the phone... usually we just chat on the phone to set up plans so actually carrying on a convo over the phone was somewhat pleasant ya know... she ended up coming back... it was not at all late 8.40 maybe...

it wasnt awkward... more like ravenous... but not "bad"... we just ended up talking more and she left pretty early... 11.15... we were both tired... these have been a few difficult days and late nights... understandable... she said she would call today... tomorrow she's off for her 'rents... i feel like ****e really...

so what have i learned... this girl no longer has a bf... this girl easily wants to be around me but will not "commit" to it 100%... which is fine... i can accept "seeing" her so long as im the only one that she is indeed "seeing"... which we did talk about and seems like it is true... i did ask if that was D on the phone... it was... she said she wouldnt be calling him back... i dont about that... i think i should get out while i can... but i cant... but i should... but i dont even want to... i just want it to work... im sick of indecision... insecurity... inconclusive chit chats... i need to grow the f-up... i need to listen maybe to some of the more cynical posters... but i dont want to be cynical... but its probably the best thing...

everyone that says im out of control is right... but when i try to back off i feel like im suffocating on my own thoughts... i need to stay occupied and not think about this... but whats going to happen... she'll call... maybe well do something since shes leaving tomorrow... itll suck... she'll leave... when she gets back she'll have decided to either get back with D or not but either way im sure she wont want to be near me anymore... my absense will surely see to that...

ill let you guys tackle that... i still wanna think nice guys do get a chance once in a while... maybe this just isnt mine... just a teaser of what it could be like once its right... when i find whos right maybe i wont have to post all this bull****e...

agreenster
Jan 15, 2004, 10:32 AM
Have you ever had a girlfriend? My guess is no.

Man, you remind me of a dude in college who got so serious with a girl that he bought her a necklace after going out with her for just a week. Too fast is BAD. Needless to say, she freaked out (understandably) and he got the rep of being a sad sack puppy-dog lovesick weirdo.

Never went out with another girl from that school again.

Sounds to me like you shoulda went with Option A. (read one of my first posts in this thread if you're confused)

g30ffr3y
Jan 15, 2004, 10:41 AM
beileve it or not i have had a few gf's... i had one for five years in fact... another for over a year... a few for a couple months... theyve just always been bad... im really just a panic striken nervous littlle pissant who can see the writing on the wall but cant read the language...

im not even really that dorky and girls generally arent overly disgusted by my presence... im just overly emotional and i care about people too much which usually ends up in the opposite which is me hating everyone and everything...

it sucks becuase im also the type who feels physical pain as a result of undo stress and anxiety... my blood feels thick running through my veins... i could easily throw up... i dont eat much...

i am proud of myself at work today... im glum... but hanging on... just listening to radiohead at a moderate level trying not to think or when i do think im venting out on the internet...

agreenster
Jan 15, 2004, 10:48 AM
Awww geez, RadioHead. Why dont you just kill yourself and get it over with?? Just kidding! RH is depressing. You need some Offspring.

"I'm not the one who acted like a 'ho!"

Anyway. Being too emotional isnt the problem necessarily. Being too emotional too soon and with the wrong person is more likely the culprit. Theres nothing wrong with some healthy love vibes, but only when you are really in love, not just crushing on a chick.

Toughen up a bit, realize you are who you are, and no one can push you around. You have every right to stand up for yourself, just like everyone else does. But be polite about it (dont be an ass) and everyone will respect you because of your own self-respect.

make sense?

g30ffr3y
Jan 15, 2004, 11:03 AM
i know i need to toughen up... see... but ive been tough for a long time... ive been just being g30f... i put up a huge wall for the last year and a half and now i let my guard down and poof... im in hell...

radiohead is depressing yes... but its also calming and insightful... i dont think ill kill myself today at least...

JUST KIDDING... NOT ANY DAY!!!

i just thought this would be easy if it were indeed correct... now im starting to put the wall back up... but i cant quite shake it... i hate not knowing... not being in control... not having answers... i hate waiting... i hate games... but even if i never went over there that saturday... it wouldnt be too much different... just might have played out differently... she had her feelings for me independant of me having my feelings for her...

shes going to be gone for those few days... i just hope she doesnt leave like this... i have all weekend off and i cannot stew in this condition...

oh... my favourite offspring song is "gone away"... that probably wouldnt help much either...

i need some dimmu borgir... but forgot to charge my ipod last night and

have to listen to "cd's" today... oh the horror... <-- : )

shadowfax
Jan 15, 2004, 11:05 AM
i'm wondering, what do you think it means to be the nice guy?

i don't know if you're being the nice guy anymore, or really if you ever were. you obviously have good intentions--as in, you don't want to take advantage of her--but you don't seem to have any backbone. she's clearly taking advantage of the fact that you let her push you around, and you must stop that. nice guys do finish last--bad guys finish first, and it's over much more quickly. obviously, the latter is not so desirable. but weak p***y guys don't get anywhere at all.

you've been cautioned. again.

g30ffr3y
Jan 15, 2004, 11:32 AM
nice = sincere, compassionate, honest and true in my intentions...

should i just not answer the phone if she calls today... let her go away and see if theres anything left when she gets back???

Mr. Anderson
Jan 15, 2004, 11:40 AM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
should i just not answer the phone if she calls today... let her go away and see if theres anything left when she gets back???

dude, friggin relax! :rolleyes:

If she calls, which she most likely won't, just talk to her. Don't discuss and 'plans for the future' just talk about other things. You need to worry less about where you're going or not going and just have fun being with her....sheesh!

Good luck, you'll need it.

D

iJon
Jan 15, 2004, 11:43 AM
this is going nowhere to fast. if you feel its all her being the problem (which i dont belive) then tell her to give you a call when she gets her s*** together and in the meantime your going to be doing your thing.

iJon

g30ffr3y
Jan 15, 2004, 11:59 AM
Originally posted by Mr. Anderson
dude, friggin relax! :rolleyes:

If she calls, which she most likely won't, just talk to her. Don't discuss and 'plans for the future' just talk about other things. You need to worry less about where you're going or not going and just have fun being with her....sheesh!

Good luck, you'll need it.

D


i only said that she may call becuase last night she said she would... if she hadnt said that i would absolutley not expect her to call ever again even... perhaps she did just say that though and i wont be hearing from her... i broke and called her last night... i cannot do that tonight... i will not do that tonight... she said she would call... she can call... i will find something else to do and not worry about it... i will at least try...

living in the moment is hard when you constantly scrutinize the big picture... i do this not just with relationships but with most everything... for instance i will lay in bed til 3pm becuase i know that when i get up i have to clean, do this that the other thing... i cant just wake up because im not tired anymore... i have to have the whole plan laid out... i have to see the big picture...

if i could just be happy in the moment... damn... C and i would most definitly be having a blast right now and the big picture would probably work itself out eventually...

this helps me relax... thanks for the good luck wish... i will indeed need it...

Dros
Jan 15, 2004, 12:35 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
nice = sincere, compassionate, honest and true in my intentions...

should i just not answer the phone if she calls today... let her go away and see if theres anything left when she gets back???

I think your first part answers the second. Don't start playing, "I won't answer if she calls". Playing games is good for no one. You can only control what YOU do. You don't need to control her or the relationship. I didn't really understand the dynamics of your last update... what was with "I iced her"? Staring at someone and not talking isn't a good thing.

She doesn't even know what is going on, so trying to sort it out is impossible right now and just going to lead to melodrama. It is good she'll be away for a few days. If you want to see her, go to a movie or something where you can't talk! Although you'll probably spend the whole time wondering if her knee being 1/4 inch away from yours is some sort of signal and you'll be miserable anyhow.

If I was in your position, I would see her in two ways. 1) Talk on the phone or see her in some low-key way and don't probe about the relationship. Don't try to clinch the situation or anything. 2) At some point, go out on a real date. These night visits and melodrama are not really "seeing each other". If you went out to dinner and wore nice clothes it may reset things a bit so you feel like you are just starting to know each other. But I wouldn't recommend a "date" date for a while.

Good luck. This stage of a relationship is like stage fright when public speaking. Everyone has emotional crises and periods when they can't think straight when they start out a relationship. Good public speaker accept they will have nervousness and find ways to function despite it. You can find ways to function as well.

g30ffr3y
Jan 15, 2004, 12:44 PM
when i said i iced her... i just meant i tried to stop my pushing and see if she would start pulling... not physically there group... another poster mentioned that she probably does want to be with me and if i wasnt so "clingy" for lack of a better word i might be suprised to see her actually come around on her own... i guess i didnt do such a good job of that... i dont really want to.... talking about melodrama has been draining... id take her to dinner but i dont really eat much nor do i have lots of cash... i wouldnt want to go to a movie at this point... it would be uncomfortable and silent... simply sitting next to her in silence would drive me batty...

if she calls ill talk to her i guess seems to be the overall opinion...

agreenster
Jan 15, 2004, 01:40 PM
Man, I cant help but KEEP thinking this sounds like **** my buddies did in middle school.

When she calls (if she calls, or you ever talk to her again in her life) talk about something/nothing - but dont talk about "your relationship" and "where this is going" because when you do that, the only place it is going is south.

Make her laugh.

Be fun and upbeat.

Tell her jokes or flatter her (in a not-so-freaky way)

Take her out to a movie

Play a board game for christ's sake.

SO far you two have nothing to talk about or have anything in common. You've only just started spending time with her one on one for like what, a week? And in that time you had nothing more meaningful than one lusty encounter and a dog walk? Thats why you have weird akward moments.

C'mon, you're acting like she's your soul mate--and let me tell you:

SHE'S NOT.

Or if she is, theres no way you know it this soon.

You know what man, just screw the chick, get it out of your system and move the ***** on.

Or dont. Whatever.

jxyama
Jan 15, 2004, 02:11 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
if she calls ill talk to her i guess seems to be the overall opinion...

one good place to start (to either recover from the situation and/or try to salvage some good out of it) is to stop hanging on to every word she says.

it's emotional time and it's hard, but that applies to both of you. if she says "she'll call tomorrow" that doesn't mean anything. it could be some words she deemed appropriate to part with and she may not mean it in the literal sense. you cannot take her words literally. and believe me, you wouldn't want to be held "responsible" for your words blurted out under extreme emotions either.

g30ffr3y
Jan 15, 2004, 02:24 PM
im not going to push anymore... im feeling a bit better... i had some soup... im sure ill feel crummier later... but this isnt the end of the world... agreenster's last post of tough love rang a bell... its not like im moving on to anything... just moving on into acceptance of this not happening... if it ever did... it would just be a pleasant suprise... im not holding my breath at any rate...

im not going to be an arsehole or anything... if she calls ill talk about whatever but nothing serious... i just gotta calm down and get myself back together...

ill just save some cash and get logic pro 6 when it comes out...

cr2sh
Jan 15, 2004, 03:14 PM
The one thing you can do in this situation is keep your self-confiendce. Don't get weak. Don't get needy. ****, I'd argue.. go out and find another girl, it doesn't matter who.. just find some filler, something to get your mind on.

For kicks... jesus christ this might be wrong, call A. See what she's doing go out with her... just her. She will tell you're new chick about it.. you won't have to. goddamn that'll drive her crazy. If she realizes she doesn't have you figurd out..

The best attitude you can have is.. "I'm not going to wait for you, I'm having fun without you, I don't need you to be happy."

If she realizes you're not sitting still she'll start wanting again. It'll drive her crazy. Its almost goddamn impossible to do.. its driving you crazy, its all you think about.. and if, for the love of god, she does call.. you'll try to stay strong, you'll try to not talk about the relationship problems.. I'm not sure its even possible to avoid it while talking to her though.

So keep it short and simple, ask her about her day, tell her about yours, find something interesting or funny.. find some piece of joy from your day and tell her about it. Do not, under any ****ing circumstance, bring up the relationship issues. If everytime she talks to you its about the relationship, she'll stop calling. If you feel like you have to say something.. anything about the relationship cut it off. Lie to her. Say "hey, me and my buddy (whoever) are suppossed to go down to (wherever).. I gotta get going, Ill talk to you later." Cut it off. DO NOT let her end the phone conversation! Cut it off early because you have plans. It will drive her crazy.

A nice guy doesn't win this situation.

The simple truth is this. She and her boyfriend have had sex recently. That's her way of getting him back. Its the worst thing in the world to imagine, It hurts.. but this is the type of person you're dealing with. She's like a Democrat for christ's sake, willing to do anything to get what she wants! Stay strong. I've PM'd you my cell number. You need to talk, call. :) I've been through it. I know what its like.

pseudobrit
Jan 15, 2004, 10:21 PM
And what's Fonzie like?

Come on Yolanda, what's Fonzie like?"

"What?"

"Correctomundo!"

You are not being cool. Get over yourself. Find a hobby for Christssakes!

patrick0brien
Jan 16, 2004, 11:27 AM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
i need to listen maybe to some of the more cynical posters...

-g30ffr3y

There are reasons why some of us have a cynical bent to this aspect of our lives - we've been there. And we want to help a fellow human being avoid a similar situation.

You need to let her know your boundaries, it is your responsibility to do so. To 'fake' your way into a relationship isn't relating and always leads to bad ends. She needs to know that you don't come for free, and that you deserve respect of your values. If one of your values is exclusivity - she needs to know that.

If the boundaries aren't too high for her, you will see a turnaround in her attitude. She will respect you, and that is very often appealing.

Also, when arguing, be civil. One of my personal saying is "Civility can be a powerful weapon."

Oftentimes, and argument isn't about the facts, but is about getting emotional jabs in. Stay civil, you win... and they know it.

g30ffr3y
Jan 16, 2004, 12:32 PM
the update for today...

we did indeed hang out last night... nothing heavy... we made fun of the stupid celebrities on entertainment tonight... watched some friends... chit chatted about this and that... then she had to take off and walk the dog... no biggie... i was just going to let her take off without any "clingly" melodrama... im starting to feel a little more relaxed about the whole thing overall... before she leaves though... SHE ASKS ME if she can come back and watch ER when she was done... so since she asked me... what the heck right... right...

while she was gone i did some stuff... ran out and got a pizza for us... she came back... we just hung out... it was totally fun... totally cool... ive never even watched ER to be honest... its not a bad show really...

she decided not to go away this weekend... her car is giving her trouble and its a five hour drive... the weather in buffalo isnt exactly perfect these days either... so we decided to hang out with other people too weekend... tonight were going to rejoin the social group for some serious partying... maybe tomorrow we are actually going to go do something... hmmm... what to do???

after that it got a little closer... still pretty nice... i did manage to get us in a slight melodrama that i wont really discuss here... it didnt turn out bad though... she left around two...

this mourning i had the unfortunate suprise of my front passenger tire being so flat it was off the rim... so im in my work get up in the four degree temperature putting on a stupid donut tire... note... ive not actually changed a tire ever... i have AAA... but i didnt have time for that... i was late for work... get to work... call around... i actually managed to get the tire "fixed" and it didnt even cost much... whew!!!

i should just turn this into a blog shouldnt i??? eh... who the hell would read it anyway... well maybe the over 2000 views means something...

at work i start getting plans rolling... i talk to A and B... B actually had a flat this mourning also... i talked to C without anyones knowledge which brings such a smirk to my face... then i talk to A not letting on that i know full well the entire plan for the evening... so maybe im a little sinister : ) ... left handed and all...

ive just gotta suffer five more hours of work and then i can go chill out and get messed up... aaahhhhh... these rare weekends off... trivial pursuit... music... and booze... fantastic...

i feel like im doing the right thing... she wants to be around me... there is no question... ive just gotta stop creating drama and create fun...

anyone think my head is starting to think the right way or am i still fooling myself... could i be doing something different???

patrick0brien
Jan 16, 2004, 12:48 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
ive just gotta suffer five more hours of work and then i can go chill out and get messed up... aaahhhhh... these rare weekends off... trivial pursuit... music... and booze... fantastic...

-g30ffr3y

See you over at the 'have u ever been drunk thread". :D

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
ive just gotta stop creating drama and create fun...

Good thinking. Drama happens on its own - save your energy. And drama sure is more fun when two persons experience the drama equally rather than one be the recipient, and the other being the creator.

Originally posted by g30ffr3y
anyone think my head is starting to think the right way or am i still fooling myself... could i be doing something different???

I think you are on the right path. Let drama happen, that will lead you to the answers you seek all by itself. Don't try to engineer the situation.

spinner
Jan 19, 2004, 10:16 AM
Well what happened over the weekend?? You are not going to start a soap opera and then not at least finish out the season now are you? :eek:

voicegy
Jan 19, 2004, 10:37 AM
I didn't bother to read this entire thread, because after reading the story itself, I've only one thing to say:

Never mess around with people that you work with.

g30ffr3y
Jan 19, 2004, 02:32 PM
well now... i thought i had become disinteresting...

the naysayers are going to be nothing less than annoyed with me for this weekend but we spent most of it together...

friday we went over to A's place... C and i arrived together... in my car... B was also there.. C kept pulling A aside leaving B and i to wonder what the heck was going on... apparently as it came out... C told A about the breaking up of the D and the introduction of the G... i didnt find this out til C and i got back to my place... but i didnt sense anything negative from A at the time... we played scattergories and got pretty messed up...

what is some thing you hide that begins with the letter H...

well, if you are either G or C... that would be Heroin... not that either of us are on it... just that both of us independantly chose it as an answer...

other scattergorie answers were equally informative and enlightening... but none as funny and coincidental...

the evening went off without much of a hitch and C and i were going to try and do something saturday...

i had some things to do around the house but i called up C on saturday afternoon and she came over... i took her out to diner... olive garden by her choice... im not much of an eater so i just let her decided what she wanted to eat and i made do... it was indeed super delicious and the food didnt dominate the evening... we quite chatted it up over the duration of dinner...

we stopped at starchuckers for some crappuccino on the way back to my house... i gave her the tour of my powerbook... watched some SNL... then some family guy... she left around three am maybe...

sunday... woke up... my neighbor stopped by for a bit... had a few drinks... watched some ichi the killer... C called me up around two... she was out at the mall getting new shoes... tried to get me to meet her at the apple store... i wasnt fit to leave the house at that point sitting around my house dirty and a little messed up... we decided she would stop by around three...

sunday is a nothing day to me... we just hung out... once it wasnt so darn daylight outside we decided to rent stephen kings "IT"... apparently so did a lot of people because at three blockbusters there was not one dvd of it... inferior video and milk duds were obtained along with my dinner... so we're watching that and A calls her wanted to hang out... i decline due to an early work morning today [monday]... we set something in the works for maybe tonight... C notices that A does not seem quite herself... so i drag her through another episode of "friggin A had better not screw this up for us" evening ends around midnight...

so im working today... til four... C is off... hasnt called... i have talked to A's significant other V... plans are established for later... but i havent heard from C... we shall see...


so thats a recap of the weekend... my issues now with the whole situation now are primarily internal... just trying to defeat it... i asked her if this was even "real" or if i were the victim of an elaborate hoax... ya know... like people who believe reality shows are real... silly americans... i continue to present the third option that she just wants something from me... whatever that could be... she insists that yes her intentions are pure and this is very much "real"...

real that this relationship as it seems to be to me cannot be classified as such... i understand her reluctance to commit having just crushed a three year relationship to be free to be around me... i am of course flattered and heartwarmed but always concerned... so whens the bomb going to drop??? weve seen each other most every day for the last nine/ten days... she picks up after herself at my house... which i complain about that i dont need a maid... she is a guest and i can clean up in my downtime... heck... cleanliness is next to godliness and all...

we get along on most every level... well every level so far... she is the most compassionate understanding female ive come across... sorry girls but you generally dont appreciate or understand me... she does... she gets it and what she doenst get she wants to get... she listens... i believe in her... what she says and that she is indeed sincere... i cant even say i hope that im not lying to myself anymore... i just hope shes not lying to me because believe me macrumors i am not making this up...

i guess this part of the story isnt as interesting... i dont have lots of conflict to share... i mean... there is still the impending doom of D who sent her roses the other day... theres still A... who may or may not have my true happiness in mind... theres still me and my need to ruin anything good in my life...

i wrote this today...

the lights blister night draws near wishing well fantasy fear
screams with me silently
opens my eyes
white face grey walls and red
she says its real while I melt away
the days running into morning
the nights drift away to sleep
keeps me liquid stars can’t believe it got this far
the sun cannot compare this just isn’t ordinary...
running backwards forward to the scenery changes with her eyes
the days don’t age
i cannot recall this time before
we two shall meet again
change my thoughts
carry on the distant song following me along
drawing closer i’ve never asked for any more than this
i will never ask again…
breathe the new light
cast not my heart into the flame
i see it all so clear
that you are not mechanical but electrical
shockwave standout dreamlike washout
blissful angel nightlight
kiss the stars behind my eyes
just reflections of what you are…

i have this crazy idea of jotting it down in a card... but i dont know... because this isnt a "relationship"... i have the card... i will probably do whatever is stupidest...

oh yeah... B... thinks that all the secret talk between A and C was about either A or C suddenly liking me... silly B... at any rate i got to chat with B about C and what i would even do if it were true that C liked me... which was a funny convo since i didnt let any real info slip... just that yes i have also noticed that damn C is definately "on her game" as far as that goes...

yarble yarble yarble... take that in and tune in soon...

so we'll call this "the twisted and the hopeless" ???

agreenster
Jan 19, 2004, 03:09 PM
Oh God, I give up.

No poetry. NO. NO NO NO. I dont care if you are an aspiring musician or whatever. No poetry. WAY to early and cheesy.

Yes. Fear D. They will be getting back together, one way or another. (either as a couple, or just for the random late night bootie call)

Something you hide that starts with H? Hrm. The only thing I can think of isnt nice nor proper to post on a public thread.

This chick had better be hot.

Mr. Anderson
Jan 19, 2004, 03:19 PM
Originally posted by agreenster
Oh God, I give up.

No poetry. NO. NO NO NO. I dont care if you are an aspiring musician or whatever. No poetry. WAY to early and cheesy.

This chick had better be hot.

I'll second this! :D

Ugh!

D

themadchemist
Jan 19, 2004, 03:31 PM
I must say this is both entertaining and cringe-worthy.

wdlove
Jan 19, 2004, 04:09 PM
Thank you for the update g30ffr3y. Do you think that your relationship with C is closer now?

voicegy
Jan 19, 2004, 04:46 PM
Oh honestly. Keep a diary.

pseudobrit
Jan 19, 2004, 05:44 PM
Originally posted by voicegy
Never mess around with people that you work with.

Wiser words were never spoken. Don't screw the crew.

And you're still being way uncool and spending way too much time with this chick. You need to get a hobby that doesn't involve any of these:

TV
Movies on TV
your place
her

Take her to dinner, fine. Then drop her off. You're still dating, right? Why are you practically living with her already?

Xero
Jan 19, 2004, 05:56 PM
yeah, geoff, man, im going to have to start agreeing with the so-called "nay-sayers" on this one: you need to CHILL OUT. ok, so you pretty much "have" her for the time being, so ENJOY it. stop freaking out about every little thing and what might happen in the future... stop putting so much energy into thinking about that stuff. i too agree that the poetry thing is WAYYY to melodramatic at this point. i mean dont get me wrong, poetry is good and all, but NOT in your situation, trust me, itll only freak her out. just live in the now, enjoy yourself... i feel like youre still all worried and upset over the situation, even though its going well at this point, so just be happy about that, and worry about the future, in the future.

EDIT: oh yeah thats the other thing i meant to say also: you are seeing her WAY to much, and its going to get boring really fast. if you want the relationship to last, dont see her every single day you possibly can, because that takes all the excitement out of the relationship. this i know for sure.

kiwi_the_iwik
Jan 19, 2004, 06:22 PM
Originally posted by pseudobrit
Wiser words were never spoken. Don't screw the crew.


Or, in OTHER words -

"Don't dip your pen in the company ink."

;)

cr2sh
Jan 19, 2004, 06:44 PM
I can only bare witness to what I've seen... it doesn't matter how good it seems now, it won't last.

I hope I'm wrong, I hope it lasts... either way, you don't want to be the type of guy who gets a girl and drops everything else. Do you have a guy best friend? Has your relationship changed?

Nuc
Jan 19, 2004, 07:01 PM
I have to say that this is the funniest thread I have ever read, brought tears to my eyes. So many different opinions and the way people say it :D

Just remember the best things come to those that wait. Well at least sometimes I guess....

Best of luck!

Nuc

patrick0brien
Jan 19, 2004, 10:57 PM
-g30ffr3y

Seeing that poetry reminded me of a glass or water too close to the edge of the table.

Honestly, your teetering. You are becoming far too infatuated and attached too early. If you can't convince yourself to back off, whatever you do, do not let on to her that you are this attached.

Unless she's playing, she will run. It will feel to her that she's jumped out of the frying pan, and into a sticky, grabby mess.

Hide your love-art, toe the line and keep steady. You're a rock.

You want her to feel like you set her free, not trap her. If you get too gushy, she will feel so trapped.

Tip: Gauge your gushiness by hers. She will telegraph what she is ready for.

g30ffr3y
Jan 20, 2004, 09:18 AM
throw me in the fire...

alright... so yesterday... she finally called around seven thirty... i told her the plan to go over to A's to visit with her and V... she stopped by [guess where???] my house... and we [guess what???] watched "my big fat obnoxious fiance"... then we took off for A's place...

got there around ten thirty... we played a lot of uno and otherwise skewed our mentals if you dig what im saying... i hadnt seen V in a very long time... he is the one who actually accused A and me of... yeah that... very very misguided kid... we've been in bands together and stuff though and have been friends so it was pretty cool... the four of us were like paired off... the chics would go talk about secret chic ****e while V and i just shook our heads and talked about music and caught up...

i think V and i are actually going to work on some new stuff which will be most excellent... im finally going to get my copy of ilife later today and start playing around with garage band... very amped about that... but more so... just getting back into making music... mentally preparing myself for Logic Pro 6... yum... drool... g5... please...

btw... i have interests!!! that dont include her or tv... its just that ive spent all the time i care to spend building gundam models and playing final fantasy... she stirs things up... its exciting in my otherwise mundane existance... we went out to dinner saturday... weve hung out with friends two recent nights... its not bordom that im afraid of... its just becoming too comfortable and losing any shred of excitement that we have...

i DID NOT give her the card!!! i decided it was very much a bad idea... until my suspisions are crushed ill rewind that possibility... a few people say she will end up back with D at some point... i cannot deny that i think that also... but on the positive... she is looking for HER OWN apartment... but on the negative... she told me yesterday that she will be getting the cat that D gave her for christmas once she does get the apt... this is bad because... i am allergic to cats... she has to see D to get the cat... she probably talked to D yesterday about the cat... or about ??? or there wasnt much talking between all the... yeah... suspisions...

hmmm... "just because youre paranoid, don't mean theyre not after you"

for the most part though... yesterday we didnt spend much time alone at all... the goodbye was profoundly unsettling and anticlimactic... near silent distant parting of the ways as if mental separation was in the works... she's working today... but not for another few hours... im not wound up this time and dont anticipate any drastic use of personal time... if i cannot keep a level head here... im ****** up my life way too much for this to go any further...

i have a journal... not a diary... thank you... i dont write in it nearly as much as i should... its actually just a doc on my powerbook not a physical book but its what it is... writing this crap here is more rewarding anyhow... plus i get feedback outside of my own mind... which is often a vile wasteland of venomous thought driving me up the walls and turning me inside out...

ill be sure to post any fortunate or otherwise dysfunctional ongoings as they happen... i cant imagine having work to do today...

g30ffr3y
Jan 20, 2004, 09:27 AM
women require time and money: _
therefore
Women = Time X Money

since we know “time is money”
Time = Money

so if we substitute Money for Time we get:
Women = Money X Money

therefore
Women = (Money)^2

Further we know “money is the root of all evil”
therefore
Money = (Evil)1/2

If one remembers
(Money)^2 = Women

Then

(Money)^2 = Evil

by substituting

"women" for "(money)^2" as shown above

Women = Evil

Or simply stated Women are evil



someone posted this little equation in my othe thread about nice guys finishing first... i just wanted to post it here also and give it huge props!!! totally something i would come up with given enough time... analyze this... analyze that... heck... i spend more time analyzing a Q-Tip than it takes to use it...

g30ffr3y
Jan 20, 2004, 09:46 AM
Originally posted by agreenster
Oh God, I give up.

No poetry. NO. NO NO NO. I dont care if you are an aspiring musician or whatever. No poetry. WAY to early and cheesy.

Yes. Fear D. They will be getting back together, one way or another. (either as a couple, or just for the random late night bootie call)

Something you hide that starts with H? Hrm. The only thing I can think of isnt nice nor proper to post on a public thread.

This chick had better be hot.


i didnt give her the card.
i write stuff all the time... she just happend to muse that one... so i thought to share it with her... then thought otherwise...
im not cheesy... maybe im just trying to solidify my position... i played her a bunch of my old band stuff last weekend and she liked it [well maybe?!?!?] ... i wanted her to read what i write... but nothing i had written pertained to us obviously... now it has... but i guess ill know when i should share... more importantly will be her reaction anyhow... i could see myself becoming completly endeared to her or ill just be giving her more ammo to F me over sooner than later...

i do fear D... very very very much so...

that was heroin... ; ) not that heroin is any more appropriate than what you would say... but... eh...

YES SHE IS HOT!!! in fact i have a perfect description... think... carrie ann moss... but only 24... and only 5'4"... and with a better body... im not kidding... shes like my very own little Trinity... i would say that my gf's are generally hot... but she does take the cake... takes the whole bake shop... wait... i shouldnt promote so much cake eating or i may have to retract my view...

patrick0brien
Jan 20, 2004, 12:55 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
women require time and money: _
therefore
Women = Time X Money

since we know “time is money”
Time = Money

so if we substitute Money for Time we get:
Women = Money X Money

therefore
Women = (Money)^2

Further we know “money is the root of all evil”
therefore
Money = (Evil)1/2

If one remembers
(Money)^2 = Women

Then

(Money)^2 = Evil

by substituting

"women" for "(money)^2" as shown above

Women = Evil

-g30ffr3y

Ok, that's it. Between this equation, and the scarily LSAT-sounding "A, B and G have been working together for a few years, A likes G, G isn't interested in A, but A's friend C, who has a boyfriend D, and C turns out liking G..."

My head just exploded.

g30ffr3y
Jan 20, 2004, 01:09 PM
work is a riot today... someone stole one of my demo PDA smartphones... WTF!?!??!

sorry about your head patrickobrien... think how i feel...

agreenster
Jan 20, 2004, 03:01 PM
I still say you need to F this chick, and just get it over with and go do something else.

But wait, Carrie Anne Moss? You're kidding right? Maybe thats why you havent done the deed. Yuck. Well, I guess to each his own...

http://imagesource.allposters.com:80/images/74/039_41805.jpg

*shudders*

jelloshotsrule
Jan 20, 2004, 03:07 PM
i love it when a thread comes down to "f a girl and move on"...

cpjakes
Jan 20, 2004, 03:51 PM
Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
i love it when a thread comes down to "f a girl and move on"...

And it could be any thread... even one where no girl is involved...

g30ffr3y
Jan 20, 2004, 04:59 PM
agreenster thanks for posting the worst ever pic of carrie ann moss... remember this chic is 24 not thirty something with a kid... it was just a point of reference... also... trinity doesnt always look like she just got through fighting 1,000,000 sentinels either...

anyway... the workplace has been quite easy to deal with today... we chit chatted a little but not enough to have it be a big deal... youll be quite disappointed in me im sure...

momentary pause in story telling...

C is now out of the building for lunch/dinner... she just stopped in my little lair to say goodbye... aawwww... : )

yeah... so this isnt as excitng without all the conflict and melodrama... really all thats left is for me to decide whether i can trust her or not... i guess i should... ill just continue to do what im doing and see how it goes... hmmm...

we'll see what happens tonight...

gekko513
Jan 20, 2004, 05:53 PM
To the more cynical people here:

Maybe C likes G because he is emotional, intense and open. (If that's what he is)

Even if Hollywood tells us that men should be rocks, real life holds all kinds of different people.


To g30ffr3y:

Good luck. I find that being myself for good and bad is my best shot at getting what I want in the long run.

Oh, and thanks for sharing and giving me a good read to get my mind off a frustrating database GUI project.

Let us know how you're doing.

tpjunkie
Jan 20, 2004, 06:18 PM
Originally posted by cpjakes
And it could be any thread... even one where no girl is involved...

Good god, you're right...although if it happened in the "have you ever been drunk" thread, it could then probably be recycled several times

themadchemist
Jan 20, 2004, 10:55 PM
Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
i love it when a thread comes down to "f a girl and move on"...

Well, "F" is about the only letter left to use in this alphabet soup...err...soap opera, isn't it?

g30ffr3y
Jan 21, 2004, 12:13 AM
im finally installing ilife... i had hoped to play with GB at least a little tonight but it seems that ill have to wait til tomorrow... err... today as it is almost one... ohh... my dock just refreshed with fancy new icons... wow... that was a live apple event immortalized... holy crap im a dork... but anyhow...

so yeah... i got my ilife after work... got home around nine C called around nine twenty... work was over... she was zooming down...

easy night really... i had the disfortune to see american idol tonight so i caught her up on some of the weirdos... did you guys see this crap??? i swear if i sang as bad as some of these people i would not want to friggin embarass myself on national tv... the american idol winners at the very least and since i hate that music can sing to some degree... but people audition who obviously cannot sing to save their own lives... why??? mini rant... sorry...

overall we had a really solid fun night... some issues kinda subsided... i got as much info about whatever was going on still with D and the cat out of the way... like i said... its up to me to trust her... she obviously wants to be with me... if something does go wrong then it does... but i will not be hung up about it any longer when is going so amazingly well...

yeah... but ugh... i did give her the card... i wouldnt let her read it here though... it doesnt really say anything overboard... theyre just words that came out while she was in my head... thats really the best thing of all no matter what it is... just immediate thought on paper... i think itll be well recieved... better today than yesterday... today we even worked together with no problem... youve just gotta keep home at home as best you can without being an idiot...

anyhow... i may go open GB quick before i crash out... sorry if this is drying up but if you do read and hate american idol feel free to rag on it... right on...

pseudobrit
Jan 21, 2004, 01:36 AM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
im ****** up my life way too much

You said it.

You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.

Do I need to say it again?

YOU"RE SEEING TOO BLOODY MUCH OF HER!!!!

Can't you play a sport or go to the gym or something that won't involve this girl?

g30ffr3y
Jan 21, 2004, 08:15 AM
Originally posted by pseudobrit
You said it.

You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.
You're seeing too much of her.

Do I need to say it again?

YOU"RE SEEING TOO BLOODY MUCH OF HER!!!!

Can't you play a sport or go to the gym or something that won't involve this girl?


i dont really play sports... but i know what you mean... we talked about that yesterday... we both are very aware that we see quite a lot of each other... you see the catch is that neither of us dont want to spend time together... she knows that yesterday i wanted to install iLife and that i have outside interests in mew-sick and mario golf [GC rulz!!!] i do feel us coming up on a little time off... maybe not today... but it is impending... and i dont see it as harmful as i may have a few days ago...

alright... ive gotta take off for the workplace now... perhaps ill collect a few more thoughts and post again sooner than later...

oh yeah... garage band is a fun toy... but thats sincerly all it is... i played with the loops for over an hour yesterday and came up with some totally cool stuff but it is very much the imovie of music... which is what its supposed to be... i hope the GB is useless complaint threads die down... its far from useless... youre just not going to cut an album on it...

iJon
Jan 21, 2004, 10:58 AM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
she knows that yesterday i wanted to install iLife and that i have outside interests in mew-sick and mario golf
...those are some great activities you are involved in there. "sorry i can't go out to eat, i have to install ilife nad play mario golf, ill call you." hah thats just my opinion though but whatever. but psudeobrit is telling you just how it is and i agree, stop seeing her so much.

iJon

g30ffr3y
Jan 21, 2004, 12:28 PM
im sorry if my interests arent everyone elses interests... muzik... video games... chess... hanging out with friends and getting messed up... who exactly doesnt have interests at least similiar to that??? i dont like to go out to clubs... i dont like to drink and drive and spend lots of money that i dont have to... i dont like to screw random chics...

when i get out of work my idea of a pleasant evening is chilling out not jacking up... either way... i know that a separate day is on the horizon... fear not...

she emailed me about the card from her training class...

"You are such a sweetie…. Reading that card gave me such a good feeling about everything."

it goes on a little but thats more for me...

at the very least im chipping away at another peecee user... she'll have an ibook in no time....

all for the cause...

agreenster
Jan 21, 2004, 12:37 PM
Originally posted by themadchemist
Well, "F" is about the only letter left to use in this alphabet soup...err...soap opera, isn't it?

F means "forget," right? I meant to say "you need to forget this chick and get on with your life." Yeah.

Seriously though, I didnt mean that literally. I just am fed up with drama king here and that was just my way of saying Im done with this nonsense. Dude isnt listening to our advice and is royally screwing things up.

Oh well.
Good luck.

g30ffr3y
Jan 22, 2004, 11:05 PM
hey guys/gals...

its about quarter to twelve... C just took off a little bit ago... we watched requiem for a dream... i wanted her to see it... she liked it... i love that movie...

ok... im still seeing that this thread is getting views so im still going to update it... for those of you who think i should forget this girl or see less of her or that im messing up or not taking advice... im sorry you guys feel that way... maybe you dont understand how absolutely right this all feels...

if youre just telling me to chill out seeing her so that we dont burn out in a month... i understand where youre coming from... sure i dont want the electricity between us to get stale... in a month i dont want to have no interest in seeing her... i dont want her to get bored with me either... but now im asking... have none of you ever had this kind of awesome feeling where you just dont want to be apart???

tomorrow were going to see a movie... id tell you which one... but the backlash would surely be unforgiving...

whatever it is that im feeling... i would like to believe that shes feeling it too... as far as i can tell that is definatley the case... there are things i leave off of these posts... believe you me that we are indeed sickeningly close... : ) i can tell her most anything... things are about as perfect as i couldve dreamt when i started this thread... its hard to believe the mess i felt like i was in not more than two weeks ago... now... so long as there is no misdirection in play this is no mess nor a sad story... just one of the best damn things that has ever happened to me...

sorry if im a drama king... in real life im not so bad... when i post these posts im specifically telling you guys about the drama in my life... if we were at a bar or something im sure id be just like anyone else who loves apple and bombay sapphire...

at any rate... ive rambled enough for tonight... til next time... g...

pseudobrit
Jan 23, 2004, 12:32 AM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
for those of you who think i should forget this girl or see less of her or that im messing up or not taking advice... im sorry you guys feel that way...

You're the one who's going to be sorry.

maybe you dont understand how absolutely right this all feels...

Oh, we understand because we've been there ourselves, falling head over heels, falling too hard for a girl. It felt right for us too, the difference here is that you have quite a few people warning you. I never had that luxury. Somewhere down the road it falls flat on its face and really ****s you up in the head and the heart.

if youre just telling me to chill out seeing her so that we dont burn out in a month... i understand where youre coming from... sure i dont want the electricity between us to get stale... in a month i dont want to have no interest in seeing her... i dont want her to get bored with me either... but now im asking... have none of you ever had this kind of awesome feeling where you just dont want to be apart???

Yes. And we usually acted on that feeling because we were dumbasses and didn't know better. We were thinking with our hearts and not our heads. We now know that we need to think and not let emotion overrule logic and reason.

Your situation is not unique, and the fact that you still think this is clouding your judgement. As a matter of fact, I'd reckon that everyone who's telling you you're ****ing up has been in a situation almost exactly like yours.

just one of the best damn things that has ever happened to me...

We're trying it to keep it from becoming a nightmare. Listen. Push your emotion out of the picture and use your head. The big one that's on your shoulders.

Dippo
Jan 23, 2004, 12:40 AM
Wow, I just wasted 2 hours of my life reading this entire thread!

Anybody who knows about women can tell you how this is going to end.

But look on the bright side, at least she is not underage and you won't be going to jail for getting her pregnant ;)

Dros
Jan 23, 2004, 12:56 AM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y

tomorrow were going to see a movie... id tell you which one... but the backlash would surely be unforgiving...


You're taking her to see 'Gigli'?

I personally don't think this has to end badly. I know some people that went through your exact situation and are married. Sometimes people that jump from relationship to relationship get tired or find the right person.

I think the people that try to make up rules about relationships like "you must not spend more than (3 hours * weeks of relationship) per day together are speaking from experience, but usually their own last bad experience. Especially for a person like you, prone to over-thinking, the last thing you need to be doing is meta-analyzing your time together and then bolt away at 2:59 together.

But, the advice does have some truth to it. You'll regret jumping from friends to "old married couple". You need to still be courting or wooing or whatever you want to call it. And part of that is the feeling of excitement when you see each other, after not seeing each other for a bit.

stoid
Jan 23, 2004, 01:06 AM
You should consider yourself lucky!

I went out with an ex-girlfriend one night, and it wasn't until after something happened that she felt that I should know that she had another boyfriend. I've never felt sicker in my life!

I haven't talked to her since.

revenuee
Jan 23, 2004, 02:09 AM
LOL ...

So my story is

Yesterday i found out i make a great friend or a great "playmate" but that i would make a terrible boyfriend.


Reason 1 - unable to commit (i can't argue this one, i hate being tied down)
Reason 2 - irresponsible (never have plans until just before i do it -- i always thought women like spontaneity)
and my favorite

REASON 3 - i was dubbed a pretty boy

when i was asked to define this statement this is the response i got

a. well groomed (finger nailes, hair)
b. well dressed (clean clothes, well maintained)

I almost pissed myself laughing ... this is almost like the girl that broke up with me because

and i quote "i was to busy living my own life to call her everyday" - rather then argue with this one, i smiled and walked away ... LOL

agreenster
Jan 23, 2004, 10:11 AM
Originally posted by revenuee
REASON 3 - i was dubbed a pretty boy

a. well groomed (finger nailes, hair)
b. well dressed (clean clothes, well maintained)


Know what the difference between a "pretty boy" and Brad "I can have any girl I want" Pitt?

Body. If you dont have the body to pull off the sexy guy look, they dub you a pretty boy. Hit the weights. It not only enhances your "rough dude" qualities, but ups your health and testosterone. And, well, be a bit more mysterious.

Okay, back to G3of3ry:

Even though I had a hissy fit and said I was done with this thread I HAVE to say this:

THE REASON we are WARNING YOU is because we HAVE BEEEEEN THERE BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!! We have ALL been head over heels for a girl. YES. We have ALL had that first month of total awesome feelings --call it a crush, puppy love, whatever. But you HAVE to be careful with women who are coming off of a 3 year relationship!!! I mean, she didnt have ONE SINGLE DAY of being alone, by herself. Dont you get it? Not one day. SHE doesnt want to be alone, and you were available. Even if you dont feel like you are REBOUND BOY, you still probably are!

Look, I know that there is still the POSSIBILITY that you will end up in a serious relationship with this girl, but it is very slim. I know you feel like this is "real" and whatever, but you have LET yourself fall WAY to hard for this girl. Jesus man, you spend every non-working moment with her! (and watch way too much goddamned TV).

We arent pissed at you, we arent jealous, and we arent inexperienced. We can blantantly see whats going on and you are falling blindly into it. If you saw her once a week, took her out to a movie, and were slowly becoming interested in her, and she was spending time with her other girlfiends, this would be normal. But that isnt whats happening. You have practically married this girl, and she still doesnt know whether to wind her butt or scratch her watch. For all you know, she's still planning on going back to her old boyfriend.

Loook dude. We arent being negative, and of course it "feels right." You are hanging out with a chick who listens to you every night instead of spending an evening with Mr Handy. But let me tell you dude, and every guy here can attest--people put up fronts the first coupla weeks/months in a relationship. And when those fronts come down, you are going to be face to face with all these issues you are ignoring now.

Well, okay. You know what, maybe we are all wrong and you two will live happily ever after.

agreenster
Jan 23, 2004, 10:15 AM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
if we were at a bar or something im sure id be just like anyone else who loves apple and bombay sapphire...


When I'm at a bar, the last thing I talk about is computers.

Counterfit
Jan 23, 2004, 10:19 AM
Originally posted by agreenster
When I'm at a bar, the last thing I talk about is computers. What kind of geek are you?! :confused:

agreenster
Jan 23, 2004, 10:49 AM
I guess one that doesnt talk about geeky stuff at bars?

:D

g30ffr3y
Jan 23, 2004, 12:58 PM
further ongoings...

someone said that we were going to watch gigli tonight... hehe... thats funny cause that was the movie we ignored that saturday when this all started... no we arent going to gigli... were going to see the butterfly effect which i figured i would get backlash about because of ashton kutcher... i think it looks like a killer movie but i would rather see jared leto in it... at least i can take him seriously in a darker psych movie... im afraid i will do nothing more than laugh at stupid ashton... oh well... itll be nice to see a movie with a girl and not my buddies...

im trying to have a party tomorrow night... ive been on the phone with all my friends that ive been neglecting all the while trying to put this together... of course she'll be invited...

agreenster... youre right... she hasnt spent much time alone... at least not a whole day without me since the eleventh... the day after that infamous saturday... perhaps im just as afraid of her being alone to think as she is... if she was going to forget this whole situation though i think she wouldve done it by now... he sent her those flowers... she has seen him while getting her belongings back... i think my goose wouldve been cooked a week ago if that were going to happen... instead though... she wants to spend time with me... she got the card... she smiles goddamn every moment we are together... i realize that this could just be "new togetherness" stuff... but i dont want it to be just that...

i appreciate everyones advice... opinions... views... i realize that i can be blind and am frustrating people... i want this to last as much as you guys do... surely more... it would be the greatest thing one day to start a thread titled... "holy crap this is the best thing ever and i wanna tell everyone!!!" but all in due time...

yes i probably have fallen way too hard way too fast... but i would like to assure you [banning any misdirection from her] that we are at least on the same page with our falling... and if this were indeed right... shouldnt this be the way it should be anyway... ya know... you just know... if i am just fooling myself then you guys can feel free to laugh at me when my post is about how bad everything sucks and how miserable i am again...

we do good things for each other... in fact... just two days ago she told me that she started singing again... you guys know im into creating music... but im getting her back into doing what she likes to do as much as shes getting me back into things i like to do... she even got me to eat in my living room and turn the heat up past 64 degrees... things i just dont do... im usually a little... umm... anal... compulsive... clean freak icicle king... im in a better mood more often than not...

yes we watch a lot of tv... please realize that after work i dont do much more than that... i usually am sleeping by twelve... im not an overly excitng person... tonight were going out... tomorrow im trying to have a get together... so there will be excitment... that kind of stuff is for the weekend anyhow... when we arent watching tv you can find us beating each other in mortal kombat on gamecube... though im slightly better...

i think ive lost any focus of this post...

g30ffr3y
Jan 23, 2004, 01:02 PM
i dont really go to bars... but if i were to im sure that at some point you would hear me talking about apple... ipods... garage band... how bad i despise windows or some other propoganda... it just wouldnt be a day around geof without some mention of those expensive chrome fruit products...

patrick0brien
Jan 23, 2004, 01:17 PM
-g30ffr3y

I collect sayings and sometimes make up my own (see below). One that I have on cue for a future sig is:
"You may be tasked with combing a single blade of grass, but keep an equal eye to the grassland."

I wrote this with working life in mind and being wary of one's surroundngs and political culture (esp. with any layoff situation) even though you still have a job to perform. But I suppose it applies here.

You see, it's about perspective. Don't blind the strategy with a task. I assume your strategy here is to see where this goes, and to make it be an long and as fruitful as you ever desired. Fine, but don't let your current month blind you to all of the advice you've been given.

I haven't read anybody telling you to "dump" her. We're all telling you to just be careful, hold our experiences in mind, even if you don't act upon them. Knowledge is power as they say and you have a lot of it now.

The power of these forums is all of the pooled knowledge that exists.

I do sympathize, I too, would react like you as well if the clock was turned back 14 years and ## women ago. I would almost regret exposing this to the world and think "What the hell do these guys know about this situation? Its unique. They can't possible know the details of why I think that this one is special."

Of course, your right about the words, but this thinking is precisely my point - it's ignoring the grassland.

Take from us what we've given, and do what you will.

Another quote from me:
"Always give a person enough information to allow them to make a decision for themselves."

We've done that here, and I hope we can continue to do so as this thread develops.

One movie suggestion: Rent "How to lose a Guy in 10 Days". Required viewing for any couple starting.

But there is more than one bird to kill here than just a chick-flick to watch with her. Look at what is going on in the film, and ask yourself "Am I doing any male-equivalent things as Kate Hudson's character is doing?" And I hope she finds this enlightenment as well, for your sake.

Nothing scarier than a beach on a toilet, or stuffed animals suddenly appearing.

agreenster
Jan 23, 2004, 01:17 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
... no we arent going to gigli... were going to see the butterfly effect which i figured i would get backlash about because of ashton kutcher... i think it looks like a killer movie

yes i probably have fallen way too hard way too fast... but i would like to assure you [banning any misdirection from her] that we are at least on the same page with our falling...

Butterfly Effect movie does look pretty good. I remember seeing the trailer at ROTK and thinking--wow.

If she is REALLY falling for you at the same rate you are, then

a) I dont believe her
b) Its a god-damned miracle
c) Im baffled.

denjeff
Jan 23, 2004, 01:43 PM
you know what, i think knowing from eachother that something could have happened is good. eventually this will set up some tension between the both of you. a nice tension... (for you)

i lost a girlfriend once, because of a nice guy... not nice for me (we were together for 20 months, quite a big deal for me), but anyway, what is nice in this world? if she eventually can t get you out of her head (tnx to kylie minogue), then what is the point of er relationship with that other guy? never force and then anything you wish will happen.

g30ffr3y
Jan 23, 2004, 01:58 PM
Originally posted by agreenster
Butterfly Effect movie does look pretty good. I remember seeing the trailer at ROTK and thinking--wow.


If she is REALLY falling for you at the same rate you are, then

a) I dont believe her
b) Its a god-damned miracle
c) Im baffled.



the butterfly effect looks like its going to be great... i just hope it isnt all dumbed down for the mall chics going to see ashton... like i said... i would have rather seen jared leto and someone besides amy smart... but who knows i may suprised... either way im excited to see it... and more importantly... see it with her...

now... why wouldnt you believe her... seriously... if im supposed to be seeing a sign that shows that... i dont know what it is... because everything seems perfect between us... you guys know pretty much most of what goes on between us... what has she done that i would doubt her feelings... im trying to accept what is going on and trust her... if i shouldnt trust her then thats no way to be in a relationship...

she just called... shes out of her training class and collecting the rest of her belongings from the vile ex bf's place... puke... but she says that he isnt there which is reasonible since its two fourty seven and most people are at work or something so im not stressing... too much... were going to the movie at 7.30 im sure you all care... at least youll get a free movie review out of this thread... and believe you me i am CRITICAL!!!

b) its a goddamn miracle...

thats the one i like best... maybe ive done something to deserve all this... i would certainly like to believe that... ive suffered enough these last few years really...

remember "everything looks so much better now"

i told her about tomorrow and of course shell be at my shin-dig... told her i wanted her to meet my friends... told her that i had friends that i was neglecting which id like to show her off too... there was a smile in her voice... what am i doing liking this girl so much... i must be crazy... right...

c) im baffled...

i think we all are... this just isnt ordinary...

less than four hours til i get out of here... oh yeah... we have to work together tomorrow... but only for part of the day... and during that time im going to help her paint on my mural...

did i mention that??? im painting a mural at work... its an aquarium type project i put little to no effort into but still looks cool... now the rest of my co workers are adding their own sea creatures to it... while i was off yesterday they friggin painted a "nemo" though... how friggin cheesy... i painted a huge black and red seahorse... because im cool...

this is how it looked wednesday when i left... maybe ill post another pic when its done...

agreenster
Jan 23, 2004, 02:36 PM
So wheres the pic of the girl?

Dippo
Jan 23, 2004, 03:59 PM
Originally posted by agreenster
So wheres the pic of the girl?

I have to second that. A picture of the girl is required to make a judgement on whether she is worth your time.

Of course why would you date someone who is not hot???

pseudobrit
Jan 23, 2004, 06:01 PM
Here's something:

People have lives.

You have one.

She has one.

Your life may not be filled with excitement. Your life may downright suck.

Her life might suck, too. We've all been there.

You meet and dig each other. Your life does not suck when you're around her and hers does not suck when she's around you.

Your lives apart both suck, so you both naturally allow your individual sucky lives to become your (that's "your" plural) non-sucking life.

And now you've got no life of your own at all.

Which, you will learn, is ultimately suckier than having your own sucky life all to yourself.

Here's my challenge to you:

Make your life not suck. Once you are satisfied or at least comfortable with your life and have goals, hobbies, ambitions and friends and are settled in your ways, you can fill the remainder of your time with this girl. Then your life will totally not suck.

revenuee
Jan 23, 2004, 06:22 PM
Originally posted by agreenster
Know what the difference between a "pretty boy" and Brad "I can have any girl I want" Pitt?

Body. If you dont have the body to pull off the sexy guy look, they dub you a pretty boy. Hit the weights. It not only enhances your "rough dude" qualities, but ups your health and testosterone. And, well, be a bit more mysterious.

.

way ahead of my friend

i went back to the gym ... i use to work out ... but i lost some wieght and since i started university i didn't have time ... but now i'm back ... only been a few weeks ... but if i keep with it ... i hope you and i are right ..

thanks man ..

cr2sh
Jan 23, 2004, 06:43 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
what am i doing liking this girl so much... i must be crazy... right...
i think we all are... this just isnt ordinary...

The worst thing is you're 24. Getting locked into something at our age I think would be regretable. You've got a lot of life to live still... I'm enjoying be young, single, making good money and selfish as hell. It's hard to do that when you got a noose... I mean... girlfriend. :)

phrancpharmD
Jan 23, 2004, 11:24 PM
Overall, very noble, and not at all something for you to be ashamed of. Just a short story though: I was in a very similar situation 10 years ago this coming June, except the girl's boyfriend of about four years was up north and we were in Georgia. She and I became good friends and we hung out a lot for about a year and I had the utmost respect for their relationship; I never even shook her hand! Well, one night we had one very similar to yours (except it was brandy sours thank you). Let's just say about a week later she had broken up with her boyfriend and after dating just over five years we got married. It's been just over three years since then and we have a gorgeous 16 month old baby girl. Nobility is nice, but love is precious.

Dippo
Jan 24, 2004, 02:43 AM
Originally posted by phrancpharmD
Overall, very noble, and not at all something for you to be ashamed of. Just a short story though: I was in a very similar situation 10 years ago this coming June, except the girl's boyfriend of about four years was up north and we were in Georgia. She and I became good friends and we hung out a lot for about a year and I had the utmost respect for their relationship; I never even shook her hand! Well, one night we had one very similar to yours (except it was brandy sours thank you). Let's just say about a week later she had broken up with her boyfriend and after dating just over five years we got married. It's been just over three years since then and we have a gorgeous 16 month old baby girl. Nobility is nice, but love is precious.

Does she still have contact with the old boyfriend?
I wonder if he was mad :mad:

revenuee
Jan 24, 2004, 02:44 AM
Originally posted by Stelliform
Hey now, I had a wife and a kid at 24 and I don't think I missed anything. ;) (I had two kids at 25...) I will be laughing at you guys when you are dealing with teenagers in your fifties, and I will be enjoying my midlife crisis with just me and my wife. ;) :D And maybe a grandkid! :eek:

My dad was 28 when he got married ... and 30 when they had me .... personally i like that one ... you get most of your 20's out of it ...

When his mid life crisis started hitting ... i jumped on for the ride.

TommyLee
Jan 24, 2004, 07:13 AM
This is no delema. This is some kind of spam/survey thing.

I've seen this exact same post on askmen.com and loving you.com...

I WAS THERE BY ACCIDENT! I SWEAR!!!

g30ffr3y
Jan 24, 2004, 08:20 AM
Originally posted by TommyLee
This is no delema. This is some kind of spam/survey thing.

I've seen this exact same post on askmen.com and loving you.com...

I WAS THERE BY ACCIDENT! I SWEAR!!!


i have to leave for work in a moment... but i had to reply to this right now because its just plain upsetting... i dont think anyone thinks this is spam... this is my real life... if you dont want to read it feel free not to... i have never even been to those sites... i pretty much live on the net at macrumors... please do not accuse me of such things... that was uncalled for... sorry... i just had to stick up for myself on that one... if you have a problem feel free to email me...

ill post more relevent information once i get settled at work...

g30ffr3y
Jan 24, 2004, 10:05 AM
the events of last night...

she was supposed to meet me at my house at 6.45 for the 7.30 show of butterfly effect... she showed up around 7.10... immediately we jetted out to the theatre... why was she so late??? i knew... but i had to ask... she didnt want to tell me... but she did... when she was over at the bf's collecting her stuff she was unable to get her computer... D arriving home later noticed all her gear was gone and i guess went over to her house with the computer... i guess he was whining and they talked for a bit... instantaneous pale face quiet case g30f... she said we didnt have to go to the show if i was upset... i told her... what good would that do??? weve been looking forward to this for days... of course we were going to go... i just turned on some perfect circle in the auto and went into healing mode... i didnt want to act like a total f-bag about it... but i did have to process this otherwise unsettling information... once we got to the theatre i perked up a little and we watched the movie... of course me sitting there stewing for two hours didnt help so the car ride home was very quiet... she kept asking what was wrong and i kept skating the issue... eventually i asked her if she was still going to stick around once we got back to my house... i told her i just wanted to sit with her for a while... of course i said that if she was uncomfortable she could go... but she stayed...

lets rewind a bit... the movie was actually friggin great!!! ashton didnt act like a goof at all... it wasnt like watching kelso on the seventies program... plus the movie moved through so many different years that ashtons character wasnt even played by ashton half the time... for anyone interested in seeing it... watch out... there is some nasty stuff in it... like this poor dog that gets burned alive... a little boy stabbing another little boy with a piece of shrapnel... they elude to kiddie pron... ashton beats this SOB to death... it was NOT FOR MALL CHICS... though half the theatre was dominated by them... and at the most inappropriate times they would laugh... i would have to say outloud... "what exactly was funny about that?" people make me ill more often than not with their ignorance...

so... if you like dark movies... check it out... you heard it hear first...

anyway... so we get back to my house and i just sort of hold on to her for a while... i open up and get into this whole schpeal about how everytime i move forward [like telling others about her or setting up my little party or whatever else i do to mentally move this "relationship" further] i become more and more afraid that one day she will just up and disappear... and with the D factor popping up again... i get freaked out that she is rebounding or not really sure what shes doing... she tells me its going to be ok... she tells me that shes just as scared of me as i am of her... we go into this... "so why do you like me anyway?" discussion... it was pretty deep... she said she likes this and that... that i just am special... theres nothing ordinary about me... then she says she loves the way i do this or that or whatever... then she rewinds it mentally and realizes that she just used the L word... not that she said that she L'd me... but it was enough that she L's stuff about me... i just assured her that there was no need to second guess her words and the fact that it came out accidentally or naturally was not bad... but very good and pure...

ok... so now were just hanging out watching the simpsons... she starts getting a headache [which she gets often and badly] and just kinda relaxes... often this is a sign the girl is hungry so i inquire... it goes without anything... but in a few minutes shes like... "well, are you hungry"... remember i dont really eat... in fact yesterday at that point i had only had some lemonheads she bought me at the theatre... a slice of bread and a peppermint coffee from a gas station... so hell yeah im hungry... we decide to get a pizza... i took her car to pick it up... she really wasnt feeling well... so we ate and watched leno... she left around one i suppose... she told me not to worry... that we were going to ok and that all the "situation" would be done soon...

again... it would do me no good to doubt her... i vented what i needed to about how i felt uneasy about stuff... she even thanked me for talking to her about it... also remember D would never talk to her... i am pretty confident... as much as i can be at least...

shes looking at another apartment this mourning... right about now actually 10.30am... she has to work with me in two hours... then im having the party tonight which should be a blast... then she has to work sunday and i need to do some gosh darn laundry... im so bored... my equipment is down at work... i have nothing to do really except paint... my manager promised me lunch for my mural at least... so thats that for that...

now...

again... im not a troll... im a macrumors regular... this is my dilema... if tommylee wants to yell at me about this than he could at least spell it right... i may not spell well or have even remotely good grammar... but im also not yelling at anyone...

i do not have a picture of her... if i did though... would i really be all that honorable posting it without her knowledge... this is the world wide web and all... just believe me guys... she is worth this... i want to be with her... beauty is in the eye of the beholder... but im POSITIVE most would see her the same way i do... plus i know what an awesome person she is... and that makes her ten times more beautiful anyway... but she is beautiful in the most shallow way... fear not...

ok... im almost 26... i own a house... i drive an accord v6... i have a decent job... i graduated college... ive done a hell of a lot of partying... and still do to some extent... i am ready to chill out... i do not feel like i would be missing out... what would i be missing exactly??? looking for a mate at 30... yeah... i dont want to do that... even if this blows up in my face... im ready to start myself on a path that involves a significant female... im an old man and i dont mind it... my life is otherwise together... being ready isnt an issue...

my life... doenst totally suck pseudobrit... sure... im not out playing shows with my band like in college... im not drunk at three pm everyday anymore... my mind often betrays me... but at the end of the day... ive accomplished a bunch... i still love making music... apparently i can still at least half ass an art project... i still write... i play with imovie all the time... my relationship with my family is better than it ever was... im not out slitting my wrists... she isnt the only part of my life that doesnt suck... i would think that im not the only part of her life that doesnt suck either... it doenst seem like were latching on to each other and will end up with either a totally sucky life or completely estranged from each other... we like so much of the same stuff... like i mentioned shes into musique as well... we have a good time together... im certainly not on a rebound...

she did have contact with the old bf... she will have to again im sure... once she gets her apartment though... gets her cat... i hope that D will finally disappear... if that doesnt happen by then... then ill worry more... for now... ill only worry as much as i currently do...

love is precious... i hope thats what this is turning into...

A HUGE HUGE HUGE THANK YOU TO EVERYONE... whether youre a nay-sayer... someone whos just as sappy as me... if youre just trying to give me solid advice... thanks for reading this thread and sending me messages and posting... you guys have helped me even if youre frustrated and think im blowing everyones comments off... believe me im not... everyones views are appreciated... its so interesting to hear what everyones take is on this... like i said before... i hope this thread ends with the ultimate happy ending... we shall see...

for now though... i should maybe try to work... and my darling C will be here in less than an hour and a half... yummy...

oh... btw... friends dont let friends use samsung wireless phones...

jxyama
Jan 24, 2004, 10:51 AM
i just wanted to mention something... personally, i think contacting ex'es depends on the context. i still keep in touch with my first gf and my current gf is perfectly ok with this. i was very upfront about how my ex and i reconnected in a very special but completely platonic (i'm in MI, she's in SF and i haven't seen her in 5 years) way many years after we had broken up. she's a friend to me now, instead of an ex.

so please don't rush to a conclusion about keeping in touch with an ex... but for geof here... well, it's a completely different story.

btw, TommyLee - thanks for a n00b troll post. if you are going to be rude, don't post.

agreenster
Jan 24, 2004, 10:56 AM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
ove is precious... i hope thats what this is turning into...


Oh for freakin' Jesus crappy f*ckin stupid ******** idiot.

Gawd.

YOU'VE PSEUDO-DATED HER FOR TWO WEEKS.

******** stupid Christ crazy ******** stupid.

g30ffr3y
Jan 24, 2004, 11:14 AM
agreenster... did your head just spin around twice??? : )

that quote was from another poster... i just said i hoped that this is going in that direction... im not totally off my rocker... these things take time... i know... take a deep breath... im not going to say anything like that at this point... ok... now that were relaxed...

this is two weeks since that infamous saturday and look at where this has gone... i just have to keep it going...

*crosses fingers*

if that quote does someday come to fruition ill let you guys know... dont worry...

jxyama
Jan 24, 2004, 12:01 PM
Originally posted by Stelliform
If I were a betting man, I'd bet your contact with your ex would severely diminish after you get married. My wife kept in touch with her ex while we were dating, and probably for the first year of our marriage. And now she hasn't spoken to him in 5 years....

Marriage just changes so many things. Maybe it is the joint IRS tax filing. I don't know, but even dating my wife for years doesn't compare to our married years.

yeah, possibly, though we already live together.

it's not that i keep in touch with my ex that well. we talk maybe once or twice a year on the phone and email once every few months... but we still keep in touch fairly well. (you could say i'm hardly keeping in touch with her... true. but we get up to speed fairly quickly when we do contact.)

i guess i just wanted to throw a counterexample to the notion that keeping in touch with an ex means something's wrong with the current relationship...

btw, geof, perhaps your story reminds others of one of my peeve stories:

A: "we are thinking of getting married"

B: "but you guys been together for just a few months!"

A: "but he/she is sooooo perfect. we are just meant to be!"

B: "well, if you guys been together for such a short time, i sure hope things are still good. if it's not so good after such a short time, it's pretty obvious that marriage would be out of the question."

A: "well, you just don't know what it means to be in love with someone..."

B: "okie, whatever..."

and very often, A gets divorced a few years later and wonders what went wrong. :rolleyes:

geof: i'm not saying (specifically) this is what you are getting into. i'm just saying this kind of thing happens quite often...

cr2sh
Jan 24, 2004, 03:59 PM
Originally posted by agreenster
Oh for freakin' Jesus crappy f*ckin stupid ******** idiot.
Gawd.
YOU'VE PSEUDO-DATED HER FOR TWO WEEKS.
******** stupid Christ crazy ******** stupid.

Wow... you seriously need to stop punishing yourself. Unsubscribe from this thread now! :)

I on the other hand am enjoying this thread, but I'm eagerly anticipating an image of this girl. Come on g30ffr3y, hook us up here! We need to know what she looks like, otherwise I'm going to lose interest.

Dros
Jan 24, 2004, 04:44 PM
Originally posted by cr2sh
Wow... you seriously need to stop punishing yourself. Unsubscribe from this thread now! :)

I on the other hand am enjoying this thread, but I'm eagerly anticipating an image of this girl. Come on g30ffr3y, hook us up here! We need to know what she looks like, otherwise I'm going to lose interest.

g30ffr3y using this forum as a diary is silly but fun. Him posting his new girlfriend's picture so we can either slobber all over it or mock him or both would freak me out if I were her. He already said he isn't going to post it, and that's the best sign I've had that his head is in the right place.

cr2sh
Jan 24, 2004, 04:58 PM
Originally posted by Dros
so we can either slobber all over it or mock him or both..

I had no intention of doing either. This thread is at a dead end.. "I'm in love" updates aren't much of a soap opera.. this lovey dovey crap isn't going to cut it... :)

Hope everything works out g30ffr3y, but tragedy is more fun to read.

/unsubscribe

g30ffr3y
Jan 24, 2004, 06:18 PM
nevermind...

iJon
Jan 24, 2004, 06:23 PM
Originally posted by Dros
g30ffr3y using this forum as a diary is silly but fun. Him posting his new girlfriend's picture so we can either slobber all over it or mock him or both would freak me out if I were her. He already said he isn't going to post it, and that's the best sign I've had that his head is in the right place.
its his own version of blogger.

iJon

g30ffr3y
Jan 24, 2004, 06:25 PM
this is pretty cool really... macrumors wont get mad at me... will they... i dont wanna get banned or anything...

g30ffr3y
Jan 24, 2004, 06:37 PM
http://homepage.mac.com/g30ffr3y/h3r01n/PhotoAlbum17.html


password is g30ffr3y

ill update it whenever there are updates to be had... which i hope are more often than not...

iJon
Jan 24, 2004, 06:47 PM
and what was the point of posting that if we cant even see her.

iJon

patrick0brien
Jan 24, 2004, 06:52 PM
-g30ffr3y

Looks good!

Though I'd prefer one with both of you two in it. It'd help with some depth.

wdlove
Jan 24, 2004, 06:57 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
http://homepage.mac.com/g30ffr3y/h3r01n/PhotoAlbum17.html


password is g30ffr3y

ill update it whenever there are updates to be had... which i hope are more often than not...

g30ffr3y I copy and pasted your password and it won't let me in for some reason. My cookies are enabled.

I certainly wish you continued success, g30ffr3y, it is interesting to follow your story.

Also in my case I didn't have an ex, she was the first. My wife did have an ex, but she never contacted him again. We love each other.

pseudobrit
Jan 24, 2004, 07:11 PM
Ugh.

I can't believe you've had a "serious talk" already. Ususally they're just useless melodrama and aren't needed.

If you really do need to have one of these, the relationship is or will be in trouble.

Verbal communication is overrated.

Dippo
Jan 24, 2004, 09:44 PM
Through the art of photo enhancement, and a whole lot of photoshop work (3 hours to be exact)

Here is a blow up of the picture that g30ffr3y posted:

first ever picture (http://perso.wanadoo.fr/st.beautifulwomen/beautifulwomen/images_actress/jessica_alba/jessica_alba_003.jpg)

Of course photo enhancement is an inexact science so some of the details might not be exactly correct :D

Xero
Jan 25, 2004, 07:25 PM
pseudobrit, not everyones experiences are the same in these cases, and although i agree completely that it seems geof and C are getting way too involved way to fast, a "serious" talk may not necessarily be a horrible thing, depending on the situation. i mean, theres obviously some delicate issues with C's ex and all that, and i at least personally think that talking about the situation, and making sure its an easy subject to talk about, is important if geof wants any chance of his relationship with C to last. i mean it really depends on the way geof and C want to handle things. You (pseudobrit) may be more comfortable just not bringing things like that up, and having a carefree good time, but that always leaves more chance for things to get weird later on. because geof talked about the things he was worried about with C, theres now much less reason for him to worry about things at a later date, and hes significantly lessened the chances of things going sour later on, in my opinion.

revenuee
Jan 25, 2004, 07:29 PM
Originally posted by Dippo
Through the art of photo enhancement, and a whole lot of photoshop work (3 hours to be exact)

Here is a blow up of the picture that g30ffr3y posted:

first ever picture (http://perso.wanadoo.fr/st.beautifulwomen/beautifulwomen/images_actress/jessica_alba/jessica_alba_003.jpg)

Of course photo enhancement is an inexact science so some of the details might not be exactly correct :D

thats awesome ... you had me going with the whole 3 hours thing ... and then i clicked ... and started laughing histerically

pseudobrit
Jan 25, 2004, 09:48 PM
Originally posted by Xero
You (pseudobrit) may be more comfortable just not bringing things like that up, and having a carefree good time, but that always leaves more chance for things to get weird later on. because geof talked about the things he was worried about with C, theres now much less reason for him to worry about things at a later date, and hes significantly lessened the chances of things going sour later on, in my opinion.

There are ways to address serious issues that don't involve having a serious talk.

For instance, when a woman wanted to test me recently with some serious questions, I attacked the test without wavering, deflecting or lying and came out a stronger man for doing it.

Her: "So how much do you make, if you don't mind my asking"

Me: "I honestly don't know" (I don't specifically; I have a good idea of how much though)

Her: "Well, you have to know how much you make an hour."

Me: "I'm salaried." (bam!)

Her: "But you have some idea of the ballpark, right?"

Me: "Twenty something a year, I'm not sure where it's at anymore" (both true; money numbers are quite unimportant to me)

Her: "Okay."

Xero
Jan 25, 2004, 10:38 PM
Originally posted by pseudobrit
There are ways to address serious issues that don't involve having a serious talk.

For instance, when a woman wanted to test me recently with some serious questions, I attacked the test without wavering, deflecting or lying and came out a stronger man for doing it.

Her: "So how much do you make, if you don't mind my asking"

Me: "I honestly don't know" (I don't specifically; I have a good idea of how much though)

Her: "Well, you have to know how much you make an hour."

Me: "I'm salaried." (bam!)

Her: "But you have some idea of the ballpark, right?"

Me: "Twenty something a year, I'm not sure where it's at anymore" (both true; money numbers are quite unimportant to me)

Her: "Okay."

well i dont think i wouldve done anything differently in your situation, regardless of how serious the subject of ones salary is, but dont you think geof's situation is a little different than just C's money interest?:rolleyes:

Dros
Jan 25, 2004, 11:04 PM
Originally posted by pseudobrit
There are ways to address serious issues that don't involve having a serious talk.

For instance, when a woman wanted to test me recently with some serious questions, I attacked the test without wavering, deflecting or lying and came out a stronger man for doing it.

Her: "So how much do you make, if you don't mind my asking"

Me: "I honestly don't know" (I don't specifically; I have a good idea of how much though)

Her: "Well, you have to know how much you make an hour."

Me: "I'm salaried." (bam!)

Her: "But you have some idea of the ballpark, right?"

Me: "Twenty something a year, I'm not sure where it's at anymore" (both true; money numbers are quite unimportant to me)

Her: "Okay."

Sounds like quite a bit of deflecting to me! I'm in a similar position to you in that I'm not exactly sure of my salary. If someone asks, I say (and I think this is being non-deflecting): "I make enough that I don't worry about money. I'm not sure exactly how much, and I don't think that is an important thing to know."

Dippo
Jan 26, 2004, 03:49 AM
Since g30ffr3y seems to be looking for more of a long term relationship. I wonder if his girlfriend is doing the same.

So far there is insufficent information to make a educated guess.

Of course if she wanted commitment from her ex and he didn't want to commit, that could be good. Unless he decides that he can't live without her and proposes or something, that would be bad.

revenuee
Jan 26, 2004, 07:54 AM
Originally posted by Dippo
Since g30ffr3y seems to be looking for more of a long term relationship. I wonder if his girlfriend is doing the same.



Long Term?

This thread has lasted longer then any of my relationships :p

jelloshotsrule
Jan 26, 2004, 10:08 AM
Originally posted by agreenster
When I'm at a bar, the last thing I talk about is computers.

when i'm at the apple store, the last thing i talk about is booze.

g30ffr3y
Jan 26, 2004, 10:45 AM
and now macaddicts comes our weekend wrapup... im sure youll all flame the crap out me for this... but being the glutton for punishment that i am... here goes...

last we left our story it was saturday and i was planning a superfun meet and greet get together for later that evening... well... after work i stopped off and got some beer for them and guiness for me... and at the girls request some chips and pretzels... got home tidy'ed up a bit... hid any non esssential items from view and went on a mad telephone spree trying to solidify my guests...

the train started rolling in sort of early with my brother and my friend S... just to keep with the lettering... my brother would be J in that case if that is of any importance... which i doubt... but i digress... we sat around and "inhaled" the pleasant atmosphere... popped some vivarin [really vivarin not anything other but similiar... its not like that] and resorted to playing mortal kombat... all fair fights actually... suprisingly since i usually suck at these things but C and i have been playing the heck out of it... so i guess i got good... anyways... this is a super fun party so far... right... just wait... the rest of it was like being at a funeral...

C arrived next... i was actually playing MK alone while the other two were in my kitchen smoking cigarettes... she filtered her way in to see me and we started playing... the other two joined back up and we played around for a while and then decided it was time for another round of mental hazing... C though... became completely focused on one player mode in Mk and left us to our vices... now realize that before C arrived i went on and on about her and how sweet she was and this and that... so the three of us are separate from her and we start hearing this outpouring of vulgarity... oh know... C is making her way through MK like the california fires... and screaming at the tv... it was a riot... i poked my head out there repeatedly... but man... she was focused... eventually i grabbed a guiness and joined her... another guest arrived... another A... male... andy... he brought some new drawings he was working on so we all were checking them out... B also arrived around this time...

C joined up in the kitchen and we all chilled out... but then zam pow... C was not feeling well... she hadnt really eaten and was getting a headache and stuff so she went to go lay down in my guest room... now im torn between being attentive to her and being attentive to my guests... i talked to her for a while and ended up back in the kitchen where my buddy nate had joined the crew... A from work and her bf V were still absent...

so heres a crappy predicament to be in... poor C is the only girl with a bunch f-ed up dudes half of who she doesnt know and shes sick... my party has turned into a friggin wake... A and V call... they arent even showing up... A cannot get someone else to attend to her "responsibility" and V is locked up with her... so... around 1.30 the mass exodus begins... C hangs on longer than most of the others but in the end it was just nate and i watching family guy... then i woke up at 6.30 to find my dvd complete and nate on the floor past out... i shuffled upstairs to my proper resting platform... around 11.00 i got back up... nate was gone... i cleaned up a bit and tele'd my parents up... i had to hang out with them and their free laundry machine... C was at work... i was going to stop over there at some point to say hi... but my parents asked me over for dinner too... so on my way i stopped off at the starchucks and obtained my darling dear her favourite overpriced wanker coffee drink... and one for myself and dropped it off to her... they were super busy so i worked on my mural for a bit... it never died down so i was on my way in not time... i was going to call C later that night....

some of that was sunday... but now ill call it sunday...

i get over to my parents and start raiding the fridge and laundry... i dont know if you guys are into WWE but yesterday turned out to be the royal rumble on pay per view so my dad and brother wanted me to stay for that... around 6.30 i gave her a call completely thinking i was going to just let her know what was up and that i would see her tomorrow... well im sure you guys know that didnt work...

my dad had actually told me to invite her... but how weird and uncecessary would it be to have my "significant female dating partner" be exposed to my bizzare family at this early stage... i guess we were going to find out... i told her what was going on... what she would be in for... all she wanted to do was see me... it wasnt an issue... my brother ripped my head off about it... my parents were out shopping and didnt know she was on her way...

so i cleaned up their house and C arrived... no sooner did i get her coat off than my parents come busting through the door... i go to my dad "so remember when you invited C to watch the royal rumble? well, this is C" my mom was like... if we knew you were coming we wouldve gotten you a coffee... my parents are addicted to coffee and coffee varients...

now we go to watch the tv and... stupid cable company wont let us order the darn wrestling... so my dad calls 'em up to complain and just in time... its on!!!

here we have my family and C and rufus [beagle] chit chatting and having a good time actually... everyone was fairly talkative and it went awesome as far as the disaster i had planned on...

after the event my family adjourned to their respective chambers leaving C and i to actually watch most of the wrestling again while digesting and talking about the evening... all positives all around...

we parted ways around one thirty...

this mourning... work work work... this post has taken me FOREVER because i actually have things to do... V called me to complain about A... i tried to stay out of it... but man... A is evil... she had some friend of hers from out of town crash at her house last night... V went over there to hang out at A's request but was soon booted because this friend was uncomfortable around V... WTF!?!? ive gotta say that if i got booted from my gf's apartment because i made the guy sleeping there that night uncomfortable... too f cking bad!!! yeah... ive gotta try to stay out of that...

my mum also rang me early today to comment on C... well actually fawn all over what a nice young lady she was and this and that... i got a lecture on being nice to her and am i going to try and keep her around and all my other gf's were a bunch of b1tches and on and on... so i guess C got a positive review... my dad invited her to an aerosmith concert IN JUNE!!! that was a little insane... if C can still stand me in may... we can talk about june... sheesh... anyone that likes aerosmith or terminator gets high marks in my dads book...

so yeah... C showed up here a little bit ago and stopped by my little windowless room gave me a little kiss hello and has been up front since... the work situation is pretty easy to deal with... B is now aware of what is going on... and A at another store... but thats it... and i hope it stays that way for a good long while... i dont need any issues or "situations" although its funny because we have this customer service girl helping our short staff out who sort of was flirting with me... C is so cute... just told me to be nice and she would give her dirty looks... hehehe... i dont know when i got so desirable anyways???

ugh oh... L... the other girl... was just back here asking me when i was going to help her paint some fish... oh man... this day is going to be a riot act... C and i are supposed to escape for soup for lunch later on...

so... lets take a look at what others had to say in my absence...

this thread indeed has been going on for a fair amount of time... my relationships are generally more than two weeks long though so... its not quite done yet...

yes i am looking long term... i dont think C thinks any different than i do... i hope that ive built this up enough so that if D were to do something totally crazy like propose she would say no... C pretty much has an apartment she wants to move into... shes cleared her stuff out of his place 'cept for the cat... but i was thinking last night... im not really all that threatened anymore... C and i have an awesome relationship... if she wants the cat... let her have the cat... im not going to be threatened over a cat... i just said cat way too many times... but all im really saying is that i trust her and i have an immense amount of faith in what we have... this is so very uncharacteristic of me... weird...

i dont think C much cares about my money situation... im broke more often than not... but i have a lot of bills and monetary responsibilities... my house... the car... i always owe apple something... many others...

the "serious" talk wasnt so so serious... it was deep... but it wasnt bad... just clearing the air about D so i didnt have to obsess over it... and help define what exactly C and i are doing... if you think of the accelerated pace of our relationship i dont think it was too soon to talk... i feel like i could tell her most anything... like ive said a million times... she listens and isnt the slightest bit judgemental... everything that has happened or been said between us had only gotten us closer together... we are a good match...

the three hour photoshop post was funny as hell... i clicked it full on expecting not jessica alba... i did chuckle quite a bit...

g30ffr3y
Jan 26, 2004, 10:47 AM
continuing on... my post was too long...


i took that pic from a ladder while i was painting... she knows i took it... its her photo caller id on my tele... if she were going to find this thread someday... by the time she got to the picture im sure she wouldve decided whether or not she was upset by this... i dont know if she even would... or if she would think it was sweet or show her that i indeed very much care about her... but she is a girl and girls are tricky... : )

wdlove... i dont know why you cant get into it... i think im just going to pull the password later but im going to edit that post so remember the page if you want to see it again sometime... like i said... there will be updates... i wish i still had a digi cam of some respectibility... i had a sony cybershot p-72 or something... 3.2 mp... with 3x optical 3x digital... i didnt like it... so back it went... anyone wanna recommend a GOOD camera [higher than 3.2mp at least] thats fun to use and doest feel totally fragile... where the menu structures arent stupid... why doenst apple just make a digicam... i know.. because they are busy taking over the music industry and making webcams... it would be a great camera im sure if it ever existed... which i know it wont...

alright... maybe i should make an effort to work a little before lunch...

oooh... before i go though... i printed out one of those "super cheap ipods" from another thread... check it...

jelloshotsrule
Jan 26, 2004, 11:04 AM
i've found that communication is the key in relationships (thanks to women are from mars, men are from penis). if you took 1/10000000 of the time talking to this broad that you take typing the **** out everyday maybe you would have a good relationship that wouldn't cause such worries.

that said, i haven't read it all so what do i know

agreenster
Jan 26, 2004, 11:08 AM
Gettin high, poppin prescription meds, watching wrestlin', playing Mortal Kombat & watching TV all weekend.

My my. What a time. And I thought my weekend sucked.

Whats up with this mural anyway? Egads its ugly.

g30ffr3y
Jan 26, 2004, 11:34 AM
i spend much more time talking to C than typing this stuff... im not really so worried anymore anyhow...

agreenster... vivarin are over the counter... my weekend didnt suck at all... actually when all is said and done it was pretty awesome by my standards...

ive spent many weekends home alone without leaving the house at all...

g30ffr3y
Jan 26, 2004, 11:35 AM
oh... the mural is some aquarium nonsense they are making us do for some speak my manager has to make next month... it is pretty ugly... i cant be expected to paint well with house paint... my seahorse is cool though... that angle made it look horrible... i agree...

Dippo
Jan 26, 2004, 11:18 PM
I guess C doesn't know that you are typing all of this on MacRumors?

That will be some weird conversation on day. You could always print out this entire thread and give it to her. At this rate it is going to become a multi volume novel.

pseudobrit
Jan 27, 2004, 02:57 AM
Originally posted by agreenster
Gettin high, poppin prescription meds, watching wrestlin', playing Mortal Kombat & watching TV all weekend.

My my. What a time. And I thought my weekend sucked.

Damn. I was popping naproxen sodium and ibuprofen during my hockey marathon weekend while doubling doses of creatine and protein to keep my weight up.

I thought I was having the most violence-centred pharmaceutical weekend of the MacRumors bunch.

I stand corrected.

g30ffr3y
Jan 27, 2004, 08:08 AM
Originally posted by pseudobrit
Damn. I was popping naproxen sodium and ibuprofen during my hockey marathon weekend while doubling doses of creatine and protein to keep my weight up.

I thought I was having the most violence-centred pharmaceutical weekend of the MacRumors bunch.

I stand corrected.



WOOOHOOO!!!!! macrumors... home of violent misguided egomaniacal pill junkies... hehehe...

i have an actual computer question if anyone cares to help...

i was gonna get a huge harddrive for my quicksilver but then i remembered i dont have a bloody cent... so... i ripped the HD out of my pavillion [since its at least 80gigs]... slaved it in the mac and erased it... no big deal...

i pulled the HD out of the mac... replaced it with the now mastered empty drive... i plan on slaving the original drive and pulling my stuff off it later on...

my question is... do i have to load the restore disks on the new drive and upgrade to jag and then to panther OR can i just say the heck with OS9 and just straight up load panther nice and clean on the new drive... which is what i would much rather do... but ive never really done this to a mac so will i have problems with the superdrive or the video card or whatever else may need the original restore disks???

i dont use OS9... the only thing i ever used it for was protools but that runs on ten with version 6... but if theres no OS9 would i even be able to load 5 and then my upgrade to 6... i think when i originally did this i loaded it into X and just got pissed when it didnt work...

im sorry im new school... it was only a little over a year and a half ago i managed to get enough $$$ for a mac... my roomate at the time was like "what the ****?!?!?!" when i came walking in with my sexy new powermac... he had an old school imac at the time running mostly nine and 10.0... i wanted one so bad my ears bled... j/k... but i never got into nine and i love ten so why waste the space if i dont have to...

i have an update on the soap opera... but ill get to that in a little bit...

thanks if anyone can give me a little direction on my project... i plan on having at it tonight... C and i are going to be apart this evening... so how about that : )

mj_1903
Jan 27, 2004, 08:54 AM
Dang, what a read.

As for the computer question, install Panther. I only have it installed on all my Macs (except my dual booting testing rig).

As for everything else, looks like you are going well. I can't imagine the state your '.' key is in on your keyboard, but I hope you have some money to buy a new keyboard soon.

As for everyone's posts that were on the attack, I agree to a point. Not all women are evil, many can be quite nice and guy like (I tend to attract tom-boy's for some reason) and therefore they are easier to read. Albeit, my fiance did cheat on me, but now I have found a nice gal who suits me better.

g30ffr3y - Good luck mate, have fun. You do need to be a bit stronger (mentally) though as with that type of attitude much of life could drag you down easily. I have no solution for that, but I know smiling and remembering that just around the corner there could be something nice is always a great way for me to move out of issues with my head high and confidence in a decent state.

Now, time to sleep. 2am aint a time to be reading romantic posts when my gf just flew to Russia. Gah.

jelloshotsrule
Jan 27, 2004, 09:28 AM
you do realize there are other forums for hardware questions and such?

g30ffr3y
Jan 27, 2004, 09:52 AM
now that im settled at work i can type about last night...

i got home pretty early... started deconstructing my computers... but ultimately wanted to ask your advice before i wasted more time in haste... i hope this all goes well... all i have to do is boot the computer holding down the "c" key with panther in the drive... correct???

anyways... C [which for any of you who missed it in this crazy thread is actually christine] arrived just in time for the "lost" episode of the simple life... she even brought me a french vanilla crappuccino... sweet... so yeah... we watched that... it was a very conversation heavy evening...

then, during the big fat obnoxious fiance show she told me she had a question... but she wasnt going to ask it... but obviously she wanted to ask it... so i didnt pry... too much... around and around we went... i pretty much figured out where it was going so i started throwing my own questions out based on her question which i didnt actually know... now for an outsider reading this you may think that we were playing games and you may want to think that we dont have good communication... but really... no... it was all positive we have AWESOME communication... that was even a big part of our conversation... that just everything is so damn perfect...

anyways... this all was revolving around the "L" word... which is starting to come up more often now... curious these things... we talked all about the accelerated pace of our relationship... neither of us are really scared of it... its just cool... its so freaking cool... we have soooo much fun... even sneaking around work is exciting... i dont want my coworkers to find out now... not because of any consequences... just because then we wouldnt get to be all sneaky like...

another poster mj_1903... welcome to my story... mentioned that i should be a little stronger... i keep getting stronger... my eyes are opening in a new way... i used to push people away so much... thinking i didnt deserve to be happy... now im rethinking everything that maybe i was pushing the appropriate people away and now i dont have to push anymore because this is indeed right... we talked about all this...

someone yesterday me thinks mentioned that what if D decided that he couldnt live without C and did something crazy like propose to her... so i asked her dead on exactly that... she said he wouldnt do that anyhow... im like... "i dont know... i wouldnt want to lose you... maybe now that youre gone he'll realize" shes not going anywhere... i believe her... if you guys could see the way she looks at me youd know... ive never smiled so much i think my face is going to break... even when we are silent... it is the most comfortable amazing feeling to be able to just look at someone for a half hour or an hour or however long without so much as a word...

the "L" word was not officially spoken... but you can see it a mile a way eminating off the two of us...

anyways... this post isnt very dramatic... and im being audited so i shouldnt really be on a message board right now... oh well... ill be back...

g30ffr3y
Jan 27, 2004, 09:55 AM
Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
you do realize there are other forums for hardware questions and such?


i know... i just wanted someone point me in the right direction and instead of starting a whole new thread... i know people read this one... so what the heck... but if i run into "issues" perhaps then ill use the hardware forum...

agreenster
Jan 27, 2004, 12:52 PM
You know, I dont believe in love at first sight. And after reading this thread,

I STILL DONT.

Love is not something you "fall" into. Sure, you "fall" into lust, into companionship, into crushes, etc. Love is something that happens long after those things die off. Love is something you demonstrate after your spouse or companion has done something unforgiveable, and you forgive her anyway. Love is not something you have for someone on a whim. And it certainly isnt something you can honestly say after being with someone for 3 weeks.

Maybe I'm not the love guru, but id bet that most people would agree that you two cannot honestly say you love each other. It still seems to me that you are very much in "crush" with a girl that you get along very well with. She seems to like you quite a bit, and is (more thananything else) happy not to be alone, and with a guy who isnt like her old boyfriend.

Dude, you must be careful. You are WAAAAAAAAY too attached to her, and Im just suprised she hasn't gotten scared off. You know, maybe I'm wrong and you two will end up together forever, I aknowledge that...but Christ man, do you honestly think you can think you love her after only three weeks? You havent even gotten to know her yet! You know about 5% of the "surface" Christine, and thats not much.

Seriously, this seems very immature, from both of you. Quit flirting with the word LOVE because you dont even know what it is yet. (hell, you wont even TYPE it!?!!??) Ive been with my wife for 5 years, and we are still learning what it means to love each other.

This chick is still wondering if her old BF is going to propose or not, and dealing with those issues. HELLO!?!? You are still SOO insecure in this relationship, how could you even THINK about love? You said it yourself, shes the first girl that hasnt been trashy and your parents haven't NOT approved of, so thats probably why you are so attached. She's probably in a league above where you normally "bat" and you are infatuated.

Cool down! :rolleyes: Have fun with this chick! let the serious talks happen in the right times over the next year, then you can talk about love.

AhmedFaisal
Jan 27, 2004, 12:54 PM
Although I am more in a D type situation (but no G has come along yet, so there is still hope... yeah I am dreamin' I know) I do hope everything goes well for you two. Enjoy it and don't worry too much about stuff (one reason why I am at stage D right now I think). For the other more cynical ones, guys sorry, but you are missing out. Its good to be in love and go for it head on even risking to get hurt because its better than missing out on great things because you are scared of being hurt. Even being hurt and D as I am right now is better than that because I know I am alive and I tried and well it didn't work out. Had I worried I would always look back with regret because I might have let something great slip past.
Again good luck for you and C, g30f!
Cheers,

Ahmed

P.S.: Don't worry too much about D, unless C says he is some kind of maniac he won't do anything, he will just be hurt for a while, might call occasionally for a couple of weeks but then he will get over it. He was probably as much in love with C as you are now so give him time to get over it.

agreenster
Jan 27, 2004, 01:00 PM
Thanks for fueling the fire ahmed! :rolleyes:

Sounds to me like you've watched a few too many Julia Roberts movies and have been reading too many Hallmark cards :D

I agree, relationships are GREAT, and love is AWESOME, and sometimes you have to get hurt to feel the love...

But hooking up with a girl before she's broken up with her boyfriend, getting really close too fast, and thinking about the "L- word" (as he cals it) all in 3 weeks time is just plain nonsense.

it takes more time and more work than that. He'll learn soon enough.

AhmedFaisal
Jan 27, 2004, 01:22 PM
Originally posted by agreenster
Thanks for fueling the fire ahmed! :rolleyes:

Sounds to me like you've watched a few too many Julia Roberts movies and have been reading too many Hallmark cards :D

I agree, relationships are GREAT, and love is AWESOME, and sometimes you have to get hurt to feel the love...

But hooking up with a girl before she's broken up with her boyfriend, getting really close too fast, and thinking about the "L- word" (as he cals it) all in 3 weeks time is just plain nonsense.

it takes more time and more work than that. He'll learn soon enough.

Maybe, maybe not. He will see. You guys are just too damn gloomy about it. Yes, yes, there is certain patterns, but do they have to apply always, nah. I had a LONG distance (USA/Europe) relationship for 5 years and people kept saying, oh it won't work blah blah blah this and that. It worked for 5 years and it worked great. Had I listened to people I would have missed out on 5 great years. Maybe he will not be with her anymore in a couple of weeks, so what? He is is with her right now and having a good time, that is all that counts, what comes will come, one way or the other, who cares, enjoy it while it lasts, that is how I see stuff like that.
Cheers,

Ahmed

P.S.: I HATE Julia Roberts (fishmouth....) and there ain't no Hallmark stuff where I live.

g30ffr3y
Jan 27, 2004, 09:00 PM
not seeing C tonight... that would be the idea... is very difficult this first time since the eleventh... we did at least talk at work so i guess its alright... anyways... im trying to do my clean install of panther and the check installation disc read failed at 76% which i dont understand... so now its take two... we are underway at 8%... panther takes up three gigs huh... well now...

so i once again subjected myself to the american idol auditions... in CA... tomorrow is in hawaii... ouch... my finger is bleeding...

C got approved for her apartment today which is totally cool for her... shell be moving in the middle of next month i guess... eek... ive got two birthdays... now valentines day... and i would want to get her something for her apartment all between february 14th and 17th... and my property tax is due the 17th... fudge...

now it failed at 86%... i think im going to try ignore and continue this time... now we are preparing bass system... is this a rave???

so this post is going nowhere fast... sorry... but im not seeing C today which should make you all proud... and shes off tomorrow so i wont see her til at least tomorrow night... then shes off thursday also...

anyways... i dont type out the whole "L" word yet... it hasnt been spoken... its going on the back burner at least for a little while longer... not that my feelings have changed... just that we should be together a wee little bit longer me thinks... its nice to think down the line though... its nice to think there will be a down the line... and one day when the "L" word comes back... ill know that i knew it all along... that is how its supposed to work... im a firm believer in the idea that there is someone for everyone... but i thought i lost that a long time ago... now i think i didnt really ever lose anything that i wasnt supposed to lose which clears my whole head right up... or is clouding it up whichever way you want to see it...

agreenster... your married??? sorry if i missed that somewhere... i had a totally different idea of what you were typing all these posts... maybe i should pay more attention... the girl isnt wondering if D is going to propose... i asked her that based on a post from this thread... believe me when i say im less insecure than i usually am... and i hope to holy hell that she isnt just happy not to be alone... i hope shes happy to be with me... which would seem like the case... but im always open for someone to pop my little bubble...

hmmm... my quicksilver just restarted...
the first thing that goes in from disc two is internet explorer... puke...

thank you for the kind words ahmed... and welcome to my thread of doom...

oh... i managed to obtain a better digital camera than my cell phone so im pretty excited to take lots of pictures of C and i and all our wacky adventures... its only a cheap little HP 3.1 with no optical... but it was brand new and only fifty bucks... plus it came with a 32mb SD card... at least i wont be afraid to take it around... but the batteries are friggin joke... someday ill get a real camera...

ok... back to watching my install... superfun... good thing tomorrow i wont have much of an update from work... i have to train someone... i dont know when i became a trainer... or a painter for that matter... so it goes i guess....

and heres a picture of some crap...

themadchemist
Jan 27, 2004, 09:11 PM
If this thread becomes longer than the "have you been drunk?" thread, I may very well just go and get drunk myself.

g30ffr3y
Jan 27, 2004, 09:18 PM
now that im running tons of software updates i think getting drunk for the rest of the evening would be in order... if i drank all that much... which i dont... but there is a guiness with my name on it in the fridge...

well... my name isnt literally on the can... but you get the idea...

jelloshotsrule
Jan 27, 2004, 09:28 PM
i love it when getting drunk is a goal. why not pop some pills too?

Counterfit
Jan 27, 2004, 09:35 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
well... my name isnt literally on the can... but you get the idea... You bet I get the idea. Personalized Guinness cans! w00t!

revenuee
Jan 27, 2004, 09:42 PM
Originally posted by themadchemist
If this thread becomes longer than the "have you been drunk?" thread, I may very well just go and get drunk myself.

hmm .... well as i am a major contributor to the the Drunk Thread ... i may have to drink more so that i can post more :)

g30ffr3y
Jan 27, 2004, 09:51 PM
wasnt it homer simpson who said

"alcohol, the cause and solution to all lifes problems"

something like that at least... this is terribly boring importing pictures off this silly camera...

i think it may be done... and so is my pint...

pseudobrit
Jan 27, 2004, 10:24 PM
Originally posted by AhmedFaisal
Maybe, maybe not. He will see.

You are right about that. He'll find out for himself.

You guys are just too damn gloomy about it.

Reality isn't always sunshine and oranges.

Yes, yes, there is certain patterns, but do they have to apply always, nah.

There are only two possibilities:

1) She eventually dumps you or pisses on you so much that it makes you dump her. This can be before or after you fall in love and even after marriage.

2) She loves you forever and you live happily ever after.

I had a LONG distance (USA/Europe) relationship for 5 years and people kept saying, oh it won't work blah blah blah this and that. It worked for 5 years and it worked great.

But it ended, so you failed to find a soulmate or life partner. All you got out of it was 5 years of companionship.

Had I listened to people I would have missed out on 5 great years. Maybe he will not be with her anymore in a couple of weeks, so what? He is is with her right now and having a good time, that is all that counts, what comes will come, one way or the other, who cares, enjoy it while it lasts, that is how I see stuff like that.

I'm not downplaying the success in it; I just got out of a five year relationship and there are experiences and memories I will cherish, but like scoring a hat trick and still losing the game 11-3, they are bright spots in a total failure.

Counterfit
Jan 27, 2004, 10:45 PM
Originally posted by pseudobrit
or pisses on you You know, some people like that...





Next time on "Selective Quoting"...

pseudobrit
Jan 28, 2004, 01:22 AM
One question:

did you at least bang her yet?

vniow
Jan 28, 2004, 01:27 AM
Originally posted by pseudobrit
One question:

did you at least bang her yet?

Is that like some sort of final goal/high point for guys?

She may be a two-timer and drove me to the edge of sanity but at least I got laid!

mj_1903
Jan 28, 2004, 01:31 AM
Originally posted by vniow
Is that like some sort of final goal/high point for guys?

She may be a two-timer and drove me to the edge of sanity but at least I got laid!

Heh, it aint for me, but for many of my mates it is. Don't take offence to it, its human nature, although there are some of us who choose to be more 'civilized'.

Hey, lets get philosophical. What is normal? :)

vniow
Jan 28, 2004, 01:38 AM
Originally posted by mj_1903
Heh, it aint for me, but for many of my mates it is. Don't take offence to it....

Eh, I'm not really taking offense, just wondering why some people seem to think that banging someone is the high point of a courtship, I consider myself a fairly sexual person myself but I also realise that its not the end-all to a relationship...

themadchemist
Jan 28, 2004, 02:04 AM
Originally posted by revenuee
hmm .... well as i am a major contributor to the the Drunk Thread ... i may have to drink more so that i can post more :)

yeah, I don't drink at all, so my only response to the 'have you been drunk?' thread was a simple 'no.' therefore, were I to get drunk, that would actually a big deal, and it would be a big sign that this thread has gone far enough.

but thanks for keeping me from that by taking on more than your fair share of the drinking. :p ;)

john123
Jan 28, 2004, 02:11 AM
I can't believe I read this entire thing.

But I did.

Having been D, and having been G, and having played both of those roles on multiple occasions, I can say that you are going to, with very high probability, get burned.

I can also say that my saying this won't deter you in the slightest. Hell, some guy could build a time machine and look into the future and tell you "You're gonna get burned" and you'd probably STILL go forward on this path.

You're infatuated. That's not abnormal. And you're not yet calloused like a lot of the other people responding in this forum. In all likelihood, though, you will be...most of us who are naysayers weren't born calloused. We just grew that way through experience.

You, of course, think your experience is "different." That too is natural. It's even possible, which gives you hope that maybe, just maybe, it'll work out for you and that the thousands -- even millions -- of us who had things not work out so well were simply unlucky.

Best of luck to you. You're gonna need it.

mj_1903
Jan 28, 2004, 04:05 AM
Originally posted by vniow
...but I also realise that its not the end-all to a relationship...

Agreed 100%. Although it being the high point of a relationship that doesn't exist in the first place may be something completely different.

AhmedFaisal
Jan 28, 2004, 04:20 AM
Originally posted by pseudobrit
I'm not downplaying the success in it; I just got out of a five year relationship and there are experiences and memories I will cherish, but like scoring a hat trick and still losing the game 11-3, they are bright spots in a total failure.

Well, that is your point of view then. Mine on it was that it was 5 years I wouldn't want to have missed and just the fact that it ended sooner than I hoped it would doesn't change that. I think the other thing that makes a difference is that I am still friends with the girls I had relationships with. We never broke up on bad terms but on good terms. We talk on the phone and we go out every once in a while. So far I never ran into any of those "backstabbing bitches" it just after a while turned out that we were more friends than lovers, that is all. Of course it hurt nevertheless to break up but we worked it out each time.
Cheers,

Ahmed

g30ffr3y
Jan 28, 2004, 08:18 AM
busy evening you guys and your naughty questions...

to not answer your question though... either answer would get me flamed by someone and isnt really a battle id like to wage on the internet... i will say that our relationship is awesome and where ever we are in it is where were supposed to be...

i will agree that "banging" a girl is not the ultimate goal of a relationship... it may be the ultimate goal of that guy from the budwiser commercials who wears too much cologne... but thats not my deal...

for those of you who think im going to get burned... theres the possiblility of getting burned in any relationship even if it doesnt start with D's exit papers... ive been burned and calloused... i dated a girl on and off for five years for crying out loud... it was a grueling emotional hell ride... i feel most bad for the girls that came after her... they didnt get a fair deal from me... now that ive been out of the dating pool for a while ive healed up and moved on... then C came waltzing in and i was ready for her...

anyways... me thinks its time to be off for the vile workplace...

ill be around...

Dippo
Jan 28, 2004, 10:01 AM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
i will agree that "banging" a girl is not the ultimate goal of a relationship...

I guess my whole life is based upon lies then :p

g30ffr3y
Jan 28, 2004, 10:19 AM
Originally posted by Dippo
I guess my whole life is based upon lies then :p


maybe youre just different than i am... i see the ultimate goal of a relationship as connecting with someone heart mind and body... sex for just sex's sake is not really an interest of mine... although you may find my desire to wash down a few vivarin/sominex with a few gin and tonics to be just as absurd... we all have vices... mine are no more or less self destructive than anyones...

at least we all love macs... but they destroy our bank accounts... : )

revenuee
Jan 28, 2004, 10:29 AM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
\i see the ultimate goal of a relationship as connecting with someone heart mind and body... sex for just sex's sake is not really an interest of mine...

what you describe as your ultimate goal in a relationship is what i have with several of my closest female friends.

The only thing that changes when i'm dating is the physical part of the relationship ... and even those lines have been blurring lately.

In reality ... people mistake my relationship with these girls as more then just good friends.

shadowfax
Jan 28, 2004, 10:54 AM
hmmmm... to me, the goal in a relationship is not just to connect in heart, mind, soul, and body... this, minus the latter, is something you do with friends. the goal is to become one in mind, body, heart, and soul, i think. that's the difference between screwing just to have sex and actually making love to the woman you're in love with. only the latter is truly part of becoming one with a person.

i hope that doesn't sound sappy, but hell geof, you're a sap, aren't you?

g30ffr3y
Jan 28, 2004, 12:01 PM
Originally posted by shadowfax
hmmmm... to me, the goal in a relationship is not just to connect in heart, mind, soul, and body... this, minus the latter, is something you do with friends. the goal is to become one in mind, body, heart, and soul, i think. that's the difference between screwing just to have sex and actually making love to the woman you're in love with. only the latter is truly part of becoming one with a person.

i hope that doesn't sound sappy, but hell geof, you're a sap, aren't you?

guilty as charged... deep down i am as sappy as they come... most of the world though get the geof thats just an arsehole...

i like that idea of becoming one with someone... i dont know if i mis-spoke myself though... what i meant about connecting i would NEVER think about friends like that... sure i can connect with other humans at some surface mental level... but my heart, body and soul are not for them... perhaps i just dont have any close friends... perhaps that is my own fault for being as distant as i am and not trusting people... i think of my friends as just people to hang out with... sure i like them and all... i dont know... ive had two "good" friends at separate times in my life whose mothers both died... i helped see them through that... i had empathy for them... now i have no contact whatsoever with either... "good" friends... right... people suck...

agreenster
Jan 28, 2004, 01:06 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
(snip)although you may find my desire to wash down a few vivarin/sominex with a few gin and tonics to be just as absurd...

Yes, at least I do. I cant believe you openly talk about poppin frikkin pills and washin it gown with hard liquor. What is that vivarin stuff anyway?

I guess I find a lot of things about your life absurd, but hey, maybe thats why I keep comin back to your thread! I guess since I'm a gym-rat health nut, it really confuses me as to why you are abusing your body like that, but oh well.

Yes, its obvious that you are quite sappy, but I think you are SO sappy that it clouds your judgement.

Oh, and by the way, those of us who caution arent necessarily calloused--we just see whats going on and are telling G3off to be CAREFUL and to guard himself just a LITTLE (which he still hasnt, he's pile driving into this relationship).

I'm in love, I'm married. Romance is beautiful. Love is work. But this stuff that G3off is getting into is like fast-forward-Im-on-exctasy-mixed-with-speed-dangerous-I-can-do-anything-and-my-relationship-is-breaking-all-social-boundaries-and-no-one-can-tell-me-different kind of love. Thats good and all, but you might want to put a helmet on for the crash thats coming in the morning, ChiChi.

g30ffr3y
Jan 28, 2004, 02:32 PM
Originally posted by agreenster
Yes, at least I do. I cant believe you openly talk about poppin frikkin pills and washin it gown with hard liquor. What is that vivarin stuff anyway?

I guess I find a lot of things about your life absurd, but hey, maybe thats why I keep comin back to your thread! I guess since I'm a gym-rat health nut, it really confuses me as to why you are abusing your body like that, but oh well.

Yes, its obvious that you are quite sappy, but I think you are SO sappy that it clouds your judgement.

Oh, and by the way, those of us who caution arent necessarily calloused--we just see whats going on and are telling G3off to be CAREFUL and to guard himself just a LITTLE (which he still hasnt, he's pile driving into this relationship).

I'm in love, I'm married. Romance is beautiful. Love is work. But this stuff that G3off is getting into is like fast-forward-Im-on-exctasy-mixed-with-speed-dangerous-I-can-do-anything-and-my-relationship-is-breaking-all-social-boundaries-and-no-one-can-tell-me-different kind of love. Thats good and all, but you might want to put a helmet on for the crash thats coming in the morning, ChiChi.


just to clear the air... vivarin is nothing more than caffine pills... its perfectly legal and safe... i hadnt even taken one in months before last saturday... i just found it while i was cleaning and figured it would help me stay awake during the party...

this whole thread is me talking openly...

im no health nut... i stay in shape or at least skinny by just plain not eating or eating healthy items like vegtables... soup... bread... i drink gallons of water... i am a slave to ice cream though... which is nutz because im lactose intolerant...

absurd is at least interesting... i can dig that... if i were just some complacent boring dude no one would read this thread... and id probably think windows xp was great because they told me it was... whoever they are... f-the masses...

my head is becoming less cloudy if you can believe it... im rewinding a little bit... everyone thinks this is going to fail... youre all surely correct... if i have to talk about my relationship on a message board it cant be all that great... right... right... so...

im going to get a helmet... or a suit of armour... put it on and give up... i suppose im just not meant to have personal relationships...

sad but true... and that "o" is a "0" <-- zero... i know you were making me into a g3... but ive never even had one... and g4of doesnt sound as good...

wow... i feel myself becoming unpleasant... i should stop typing... not mad at you guys... just crashing...

agreenster
Jan 28, 2004, 03:00 PM
Be careful. (again, sheesh)

I was taking ephedrine ("nothing more than caffiene pills") when at the gym to boost my workout, and ended up wrecking a kidney, got heart palpatations, and got mono because I was so run down. I didnt know I was run down because when I would take the ephedrine, I would feel GREAT. Combined with alcohol, that woulda really pegged my kidneys. And I was only taking 25mg 3-4 times a week (at the gym only, drink form), which was way below the recommended dosage.

I havent taken that stuff since November and havent looked back. Probably helps that its illegal now.

Im just sayin be careful, no matter how 'harmless' things can seem.

g30ffr3y
Jan 28, 2004, 03:04 PM
ephedrine illegal??? i can get 60 count bottles of it at most any gas station for seven bucks...

john123
Jan 28, 2004, 03:54 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
ephedrine illegal??? i can get 60 count bottles of it at most any gas station for seven bucks...

In about a month, you won't be able to. It's a new FDA ban that came out about a month ago.

Some people have no business taking ephedrine (but do anyway). Other people are okay with recommended doses but overdo it. And the result is death...which is why the FDA stepped in.

I personally am a big fan of the ECA (ephedrine, caffeine, aspirin) stack. I take it responsibly and have found it to be effective in controlling weight (less so in reducing weight).

G, if you are taking that kind of stuff with alcohol, though, you're off your rocker. If that's you're M.O., it's only a matter of time before you will be getting jiggy with "C" and your entire body will go stiff (as opposed to particular targeted parts).

Serious question: G, have you ever talked to a doctor about the possibility of depression?

g30ffr3y
Jan 28, 2004, 04:21 PM
you know whats depressing??? folklore.org's load times between articles... how the heck am i supposed to kill time at work reading about apples history when it takes longer to load the article than read it...

anyways... i had heard about the ephedrine ban coming out... but when i still saw it on the shelves i figured it just got buried and they would continue to sell it... i dont take ephedrine with alcohol or aspirin... i have no desire to suffer major consequences... everything is in moderation and nothing is out of control... i dont know what my M.O. is... but its not as bad as it seems... i hope...

seriously deflecting your serious question was not right of me though... i apologize for my rudeness... various doctors over the last eleven years have called me everything from manic to clinical to OCD ad infinitum... i have since shunned all thought of that... my problems are usually self induced and nothing out of my realm of coping... sans anxiety which is a total bitch... have you ever felt like your blood was too thick and you could feel every movement of it through your body all the while your stomach feels like its eating itself from the inside out???

now im going to fall victim to you guys telling me i have no right to even try to have a relationship til i sort out my own demons... that im no good for anyone til im good for myself... sorry guys... but thats not the answer... generally im alright... and i treat C like ****** gold... i dont want to lose her... im willing to slow it down... i feel like im going to be the one running away from her if i dont... i get just as scared about stuff... i want to feel good... i adore being around her and we are a good couple... i cant screw it up... so how do i back off without backing off???

john123
Jan 28, 2004, 04:48 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
i dont take ephedrine with alcohol or aspirin... i have no desire to suffer major consequences...

If you are just taking it by itself, it's not of much benefit to you. There's a ton of research on the ECA stack -- ephedrine, caffeine, and aspirin complement each other. If you're going to keep buying ephedrine, at least google "ECA stack" and read up on the good, the bad, and the ugly.

(And keep in mind that some places just wanna sell you stuff or have a particular agenda, so some of what you read you should take with a grain of salt. As always, consider the source.)

themadchemist
Jan 28, 2004, 08:17 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
ephedrine illegal??? i can get 60 count bottles of it at most any gas station for seven bucks...

During the holidays the Food and Drug Administration banned ephedrine. While these supplements do not go under the rigorous screening process required for the introduction of new medicines, they can be banned if it becomes clear that they are detrimental to the general public. Ephedrine is a dangerous drug without real health benefits. It is just another poisonous supplement that destroys your body, at least to some degree.

Those gas stations have about thirty days left to stop selling that stuff...After that, everyone in the supply chain will be guilty of a federal offense, and rightly so. It's time the FDA started cracking down on all those boosters, supplements, and "protein mixes."

Oh, and to agree with others, your practice of downing caffeine pills with alcohol is quite unhealthy. Actually, it's rather dangerous. Caffeine is a drug, as is ethanol, and the two do not mix well. It's nothing to shrug aside.

Frohickey
Jan 28, 2004, 08:29 PM
Originally posted by g30ffr3y
so... i got about four hours of the worst loneliest sleep ive ever had... i had to walk out on a beautiful, sexy girl... ive been laying here going over this... finally i just decided to put up my sad story for the mac community...


You sir should get a medal for what you just did.

Doing what you did takes a lot of self control.
Doing what you did takes a lot of cahones.
Doing what you did takes a lot of intestinal fortitude.

Remind me to never play Chicken with you.

Actually, its good that you did what you did. You also know how the girl 'C' would be if you ever got together with her. If she can attempt to cheat on her boyfriend when he is out of town in his own house, with someone else, then I think that is someone you would rather not have.

john123
Jan 28, 2004, 10:01 PM
Originally posted by themadchemist
It is just another poisonous supplement that destroys your body, at least to some degree......
It's time the FDA started cracking down on all those boosters, supplements, and "protein mixes."


Dude -- protein mixes? Assuming you drink plenty of water (so as to avoid kidney stones), protein is extremely healthy. Especially if it is a substitute for red meat proteins.