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View Full Version : Apple is going to buy Microsoft.


Dippo
Jan 25, 2004, 07:17 AM
This one is straight from Steve's mouth...

Apple is going to buy Microsoft.
If you think that I am kidding, just keep reading...

In a couple of days IBM is going to release the final chip specs for the XBox2. The chip is going to be very similar to the current 90nm G5s. Apple is not going to have a problem with this because have been in talks with IBM to make sure that the G5 is used in the next XBox.

After the design of the XBox2 is finalized, Apple is going to apply for a license to develop games for the XBox2. Microsoft is not going to allow this because they know that the G5 inside the XBox2 could be used to run a variant of the MacOSX. Apple is then going to threaten to sue unless Microsoft ports DirectX to the Mac. In thinking that porting DirectX will increase their own dominance, Microsoft agrees.

At the same time, Apple is going to secretly setup a third party developer to create XBox2 games. The developer named Rome Productions will apply and be awarded a license to create games. The staff of the Rome Productions is extremely large and there is a lot of hype surrounding their first few releases. But first few releases are going to be nothing special, and the simple 2D games, while entertaining, are not the cutting edge games that were expected.

Soon after the XBox2 is released, the new windows operating system "Longhorn" (renamed Windows TC) will be released. This proves to be Microsoft's most successful OS ever. Due to the new DRM restrictions in the OS, older OSes are no longer compatable with WinTC. Thus over 95% of windows users will reluctantly upgrade. With WinTC and the new XBox2 flying off the shelves, Microsoft rakes in a good sum.

Then a seemlessly minor glitch arises in the WinTC OS which is given very little attention. There seems to be a "bug" written into the OS that "randomly" rewrites the kernal of the WinTC OS. This is not given much attention since it doesn't seem to affect the stability of the OS, and it is assumed that a quick fix can be issued fairly quickly.

Within 5 days, a fix is issued by Microsoft. The fix is automatically downloaded to all WinTC computers, but instead of downloading the fix from the Microsoft website, the computers are redirected to various sites from around the web to download "the patch".

Then upon updating, WinTC reboots. At startup, instead of Windows TC, most everyone is surprised to see Mac OS X. A message that claims that the security update required a complete operating system overhaul is believed by few. Attempts to reinstall WinTC fail. Since WinTC requires a network connection to install in order to verify the security key, no one could manage an install without having the "fake update" downloaded. The "bug" that was written into the OS seems to be the cause of the misdirected downloads.

Since the problem can not be solved at the user's end. Microsoft trys to locate the source of the "fake updates". After an intense search, they find hone in on one location. Instead of simply cutting off the site, they decide to raid the residence in which the computer with the updates is located. After breaking in, they discover that there are no computers there. The only thing connected to the internet is an Xbox2.

After a complete disection, it is learned the the Xbox2 was infected with a virus that contained an x86 verison of Mac OS X. A flaw in the design of the hardware also allowed the infection of other XBox2s with this virus. And with over 23 million XBox2s in the US alone, it proved to be impossible to shut them all down.

Most of the windows users went ahead and continued to use the Mac OS X. Some people did reinstall WinXP/98 etc but that number was few. The new Mac OS X was surprising able to run most of the currect windows software including all the games. Lawsuits are brought against Apple, but the infected games produced by Rome software can not be traced back to Apple.

Microsoft trys to re-release WinTC but the programmers that worked on the infected part of the kernel have completely dissappeared. Microsoft says that it will have to delay the release by 6-12 months. Upon that annoucement, Microsoft's stock falls through the floor. To prevent a complete collaspe of their stock, Microsoft pours all of their cash on hand and other investments into their stock. This proves to be a fatal mistake.

After 8 months, Microsoft finally releases the new WinTC. It proves to be their last release. They successfully fixed the "bug" in the kernel, but hidden in the windows startup sound was an encrypted version of the kernal bug. When the sound was opened and played upon startup, the modified embedded wave player decrypted and executed the "bug". This caused the Mac OS X to be downloaded and installed as before.

This sends Microsoft's stock to almost nothing. Seeing a great chance to finally get revenge, Apple and IBM quickly buy up Microsoft. Not wanting to commit resources to Microsoft's product line, IBM sells it's portion of the company over to Apple.

Apple completely dissovles the Microsoft company and incorporates Microsoft products into their own.

Edit: As events progress, I will update...

Pseudonym
Jan 25, 2004, 07:31 AM
:eek:

Is the TC short for Top Cat - Windows Top Cat v OS X Panther?

jrv3034
Jan 25, 2004, 10:00 AM
Originally posted by Dippo
Edit: Before anyone takes this as serious, it's only a joke :)

Oh MAN!!! I thought this was on CNN!!! Why'd you say it was a joke, dude? Maybe MS stock would drop sharply if folks believe this...:eek: :eek: ;)

edesignuk
Jan 25, 2004, 10:14 AM
http://upload.edesignuk.net/uploaded_data/smilies/coblers.png I'll have whatever you (or who ever wrote it) was smoking at the time http://upload.edesignuk.net/uploaded_data/smilies/rollinglaugh.gif

isus
Jan 25, 2004, 10:37 AM
there goes a minute and a half of my life i wish i could have back.

topicolo
Jan 25, 2004, 01:50 PM
Originally posted by edesignuk
http://upload.edesignuk.net/uploaded_data/smilies/coblers.png I'll have whatever you (or who ever wrote it) was smoking at the time http://upload.edesignuk.net/uploaded_data/smilies/rollinglaugh.gif
Damn! you got there before I did :D

Mr. Anderson
Jan 25, 2004, 02:59 PM
Thankfully it was only a minute for me...:D

Bleh

D

virividox
Jan 25, 2004, 04:27 PM
pretty active imagination you got there. i like being a minority tho, elitist mentality

kettle
Jan 25, 2004, 05:07 PM
zero for falling at the last, but a fat TEN for effort, well done.:)

If only more spam could be that good.

Dippo
Jan 25, 2004, 06:02 PM
Originally posted by jrv3034
Oh MAN!!! I thought this was on CNN!!! Why'd you say it was a joke, dude? Maybe MS stock would drop sharply if folks believe this...:eek: :eek: ;)

We could always go post this on MacOSRumors. I think they would believe anything.

wdlove
Jan 25, 2004, 07:55 PM
Originally posted by edesignuk
http://upload.edesignuk.net/uploaded_data/smilies/coblers.png I'll have whatever you (or who ever wrote it) was smoking at the time http://upload.edesignuk.net/uploaded_data/smilies/rollinglaugh.gif

It was only in his dreams. Just something to amuse himself on a Sunday! LOL

MetallicPenguin
Jan 25, 2004, 08:04 PM
Oh I wish I wish. Anyone wanta try to make it happen? Let's go hide the fault in the current betas so they don't find it in OS...until we hit the switch! Mwahahhahhah. Anyone? Anyone? :D

SiliconAddict
Jan 25, 2004, 08:23 PM
Originally posted by Dippo
This one is straight from Steve's mouth...



Don't you mean Steve's anus? I'm always surprised how literally Mac users take the word of go....oops.....I meant steve.

There are so many flaws in this thinking I could spend pages going over them all. The biggest being that Longhorn, Trusted Computing initiative, is OPTIONAL. Repeat OPTIONAL. Secondly Microsoft doesn't need to let ANYONE developed for the X-Box. They don't have a monopoly and MS's lawyers would eat Apple's alive.

bannedagain
Jan 25, 2004, 08:31 PM
:rolleyes:And SkyNet is going to take over the world.

scem0
Jan 25, 2004, 08:51 PM
what could possibly make someone think up a story like that?

Oh right... drugs. ;)

scem0

gwuMACaddict
Jan 25, 2004, 08:52 PM
Originally posted by kettle
zero for falling at the last, but a fat TEN for effort, well done.:)

If only more spam could be that good.


amen to that! best read on here since all the rumors lately are BORRRRRRRRING

:D

MrMacMan
Jan 25, 2004, 11:28 PM
Originally posted by scem0
what could possibly make someone think up a story like that?

Oh right... drugs. ;)

scem0

haha.

Come on guys.

Its only a story.


It COULD happen... well maybe...

:D

mgargan1
Jan 25, 2004, 11:37 PM
and AMD is going to buy Intel, Coca Cola is going to buy Pepsi, and Gateway is going to buy Dell, (then chastise Michael Dell).

Ajmbc
Jan 25, 2004, 11:53 PM
Gotta love these stories.

ltgator333
Jan 26, 2004, 12:34 AM
ok decent joke .. hope you didn't take too much time thinkin it up though..

JFreak
Jan 26, 2004, 06:39 AM
Originally posted by Pseudonym
:eek:

Is the TC short for Top Cat - Windows Top Cat v OS X Panther?

no.
it's Windows Total Crap.

Mac Dummy
Jan 26, 2004, 11:10 AM
Originally posted by Dippo
This one is straight from Steve's mouth...

Apple is going to buy Microsoft.
If you think that I am kidding, just keep reading...

In a couple of days IBM is going to release the final chip specs for the XBox2. The chip is going to be very similar to the current 90nm G5s. Apple is not going to have a problem with this because have been in talks with IBM to make sure that the G5 is used in the next XBox.

After the design of the XBox2 is finalized, Apple is going to apply for a license to develop games for the XBox2. Microsoft is not going to allow this because they know that the G5 inside the XBox2 could be used to run a variant of the MacOSX. Apple is then going to threaten to sue unless Microsoft ports DirectX to the Mac. In thinking that porting DirectX will increase their own dominance, Microsoft agrees.

At the same time, Apple is going to secretly setup a third party developer to create XBox2 games. The developer named Rome Productions will apply and be awarded a license to create games. The staff of the Rome Productions is extremely large and there is a lot of hype surrounding their first few releases. But first few releases are going to be nothing special, and the simple 2D games, while entertaining, are not the cutting edge games that were expected.

Soon after the XBox2 is released, the new windows operating system "Longhorn" (renamed Windows TC) will be released. This proves to be Microsoft's most successful OS ever. Due to the new DRM restrictions in the OS, older OSes are no longer compatable with WinTC. Thus over 95% of windows users will reluctantly upgrade. With WinTC and the new XBox2 flying off the shelves, Microsoft rakes in a good sum.

Then a seemlessly minor glitch arises in the WinTC OS which is given very little attention. There seems to be a "bug" written into the OS that "randomly" rewrites the kernal of the WinTC OS. This is not given much attention since it doesn't seem to affect the stability of the OS, and it is assumed that a quick fix can be issued fairly quickly.

Within 5 days, a fix is issued by Microsoft. The fix is automatically downloaded to all WinTC computers, but instead of downloading the fix from the Microsoft website, the computers are redirected to various sites from around the web to download "the patch".

Then upon updating, WinTC reboots. At startup, instead of Windows TC, most everyone is surprised to see Mac OS X. A message that claims that the security update required a complete operating system overhaul is believed by few. Attempts to reinstall WinTC fail. Since WinTC requires a network connection to install in order to verify the security key, no one could manage an install without having the "fake update" downloaded. The "bug" that was written into the OS seems to be the cause of the misdirected downloads.

Since the problem can not be solved at the user's end. Microsoft trys to locate the source of the "fake updates". After an intense search, they find hone in on one location. Instead of simply cutting off the site, they decide to raid the residence in which the computer with the updates is located. After breaking in, they discover that there are no computers there. The only thing connected to the internet is an Xbox2.

After a complete disection, it is learned the the Xbox2 was infected with a virus that contained an x86 verison of Mac OS X. A flaw in the design of the hardware also allowed the infection of other XBox2s with this virus. And with over 23 million XBox2s in the US alone, it proved to be impossible to shut them all down.

Most of the windows users went ahead and continued to use the Mac OS X. Some people did reinstall WinXP/98 etc but that number was few. The new Mac OS X was surprising able to run most of the currect windows software including all the games. Lawsuits are brought against Apple, but the infected games produced by Rome software can not be traced back to Apple.

Microsoft trys to re-release WinTC but the programmers that worked on the infected part of the kernel have completely dissappeared. Microsoft says that it will have to delay the release by 6-12 months. Upon that annoucement, Microsoft's stock falls through the floor. To prevent a complete collaspe of their stock, Microsoft pours all of their cash on hand and other investments into their stock. This proves to be a fatal mistake.

After 8 months, Microsoft finally releases the new WinTC. It proves to be their last release. They successfully fixed the "bug" in the kernel, but hidden in the windows startup sound was an encrypted version of the kernal bug. When the sound was opened and played upon startup, the modified embedded wave player decrypted and executed the "bug". This caused the Mac OS X to be downloaded and installed as before.

This sends Microsoft's stock to almost nothing. Seeing a great chance to finally get revenge, Apple and IBM quickly buy up Microsoft. Not wanting to commit resources to Microsoft's product line, IBM sells it's portion of the company over to Apple.

Apple completely dissovles the Microsoft company and incorporates Microsoft products into their own.

Edit: Before anyone takes this as serious, it's only a joke :)

That's a dream I think we all would like to wake up to, unfortunately the sad truth is that Microsoft owns 95-97% of the world. Apple's OS X and Linux make up the remaining percentage.

Hey, I got an idea if any of you are trying to convert your Windows using PC friends to OS X and its just not working, try telling them to switch to Linux. Its based on the same Unix architecture that OS X is based on, and Linux will run on their PC's. Like OS X, Linux is stable, virtually unhackable, and virus free. The best part about Linux is that the OS is free,and uncopyrighted too.

If everyone switched away from Windows, Microsoft stock prices would plummet and that would leave Bill Gates crying in his beer.:D

TEG
Jan 26, 2004, 11:29 AM
Originally posted by mgargan1
... Coca Cola is going to buy Pepsi...

I think you have it backwards, Pepsi, will Buy Coke, especially with Coke's horrible "new" products, Lime Coke, Lemon Coke, Vanilla Coke. Coke = Worst, and most devious Beverage Company in the world.

**************************

Great Story, It would be nice if it happened, especially since most users are unaware how to turn any thing off/on in Windows, especially Trusted Computing.

BTW, Mac Dummy, There ARE viruses for Linux, OSX however is still virus free. Linux, is a very unstable OS, however more stable than Windows. Linux is good for POWER USERS, not for the general public, and there is a huge learning curve involved.

TEG

themadchemist
Jan 26, 2004, 01:08 PM
Originally posted by SiliconAddict
Don't you mean Steve's anus? I'm always surprised how literally Mac users take the word of go....oops.....I meant steve.

There are so many flaws in this thinking I could spend pages going over them all. The biggest being that Longhorn, Trusted Computing initiative, is OPTIONAL. Repeat OPTIONAL. Secondly Microsoft doesn't need to let ANYONE developed for the X-Box. They don't have a monopoly and MS's lawyers would eat Apple's alive.

I guess that explains why no one else in this thread, including the author, takes this story seriously enough to quibble over its flaws. :rolleyes:

Dippo
Jan 26, 2004, 11:39 PM
Originally posted by SiliconAddict
There are so many flaws in this thinking I could spend pages going over them all. The biggest being that Longhorn, Trusted Computing initiative, is OPTIONAL. Repeat OPTIONAL. Secondly Microsoft doesn't need to let ANYONE developed for the X-Box. They don't have a monopoly and MS's lawyers would eat Apple's alive.

Even though this is only fiction...

Microsoft can do what ever they want with Longhorn, including making in incompatable with everything else.

Microsoft doesn't have to let Apple develop for the XBox2, but they will decide that the cost of developing DirectX for the MacOSX would be cheaper than defending a lawsuit, even though they would win. (half it half done anyways because the XBox2) Besides Microsoft thought that it would allow them to gain market domanince.

Rome Productions on the other hand is considered to be a the next generation game developer and Microsoft jumps at the chance to have them devleop for the XBox2.

Microsoft can't produce any evidence to prove that Apple was involved in the distribution of MacOSX over the infected XBox2's. It is generally believed at the time that open source hackers are ultimately responsible for stealing the MacOSX source and distributing it through their company, Rome Production.

Besides all of that, Microsoft created/released software that downloaded and illegally installed copyrighted software (MacOSX), There were rumors at the time that Apple was going to countersue. These rumors created rifts within Microsoft itself about which direction to pursue legally. These rifts prevented Microsoft form being unable to mount a successful case before the buyout.

Macgamer1096
Jan 27, 2004, 01:54 AM
Hey SiliconAddict your one of these windows enthusiaists ( Why capitalize what shouldn't exist?). Well ok we'll let you run your mouth.
O enjoy the wonderful inciitefullness the large majority of
Mac users contain. Wait aren't the bulk of windoze users confused, stumbling idiots in the dark with the complexities of their personel computers.
Are Mac users? theres a post.

On a side note i think this story is quite entertaining and brings up the point that terrirism can be a good thing!!

SoAP
Jan 27, 2004, 07:23 AM
That was quite possibly the scariest joke I ever read...

Yea, it's sad, really how many pc users out there don't know how to use a machine that takes so little time to figure out and learn. As for you Macgamer... you must have the most FUN (sarcasm) gaming experience on the planet. Yea, I must admit though, Apple does a good job of making their mac computers appealing to the general stupid person.

Dippo
Jan 28, 2004, 10:02 AM
Originally posted by downwithmax
That was quite possibly the scariest joke I ever read...

Who ever said this is a joke, this is really going to happen, just wait and see.

themadchemist
Jan 29, 2004, 08:46 AM
Are you guys kidding me? This is totally legit. Yeah, I think I heard something about it on...umm...slashdot, maybe? Definitely...I believe this. Awesome.

Thanks for the find. It's nice to see some realistic stories on this site more often, instead of these pipe dreams about PowerMac bumps and PB updates. Jeez.

MetallicPenguin
Jan 29, 2004, 10:19 AM
Yeah I am currently working with Apple at this time, although I can not release details. I'll just say you guys are on the right track. Oh you know that new virus, yeah it's really a trap. I won't say anymore though.



:p

By the Way, Can I post this on my forums, whenever my site gets up?

MorganX
Jan 29, 2004, 10:40 AM
Seriously though, once the Xbox2 is released, running a variant of the G5, Microsoft will have effectively revived Windows NT for PPC this time with DirectX and Plug & Play. (edit: and Windows Media Center and Microsoft Music Store)

DirectX is a part of Windows, the Mac equivalent was Sprockets I believe. It's not like you could just port it to OS X. MS would have to have the OS source for it to perform like it's x86 counterpart.

How things balance themselves out. Apple allegedly has Marklar running reliably, and soon Microsoft will have Xbox2 OS, which could probably be moved to any PPC environment with moderate effort.

I predict Microsoft XOS will be running on Apple hardware before Apple's Marklar is running on Intel/AMD hardware.

Dippo
Jan 29, 2004, 11:40 AM
Originally posted by MetallicPenguin
By the Way, Can I post this on my forums, whenever my site gets up?

Yes you may :)

7on
Jan 29, 2004, 02:30 PM
hmmmm, with the XboX2 going to IBM procs (and I believe maybe the PS3) you all think porting games to the mac will become 'slightly' easier? Well, for G5s anyway.

Dippo
Jan 29, 2004, 03:02 PM
Originally posted by 7on
hmmmm, with the XboX2 going to IBM procs (and I believe maybe the PS3) you all think porting games to the mac will become 'slightly' easier? Well, for G5s anyway.

Both the XBox2 and PS3 will probably have specialized API's that won't be available on the Mac, but I would think that if the game developers were developing for PowerPC that some of the games would find their way to the Mac.

windowsblowsass
Feb 4, 2004, 06:39 PM
youve discovered the secret plan and byu announcing it you have comprimised it tipping off ms

windowsblowsass
Feb 4, 2004, 06:44 PM
this post is a good example of how if mac users put in the effort and banned together we could take over the world quite easily and make steve jobs world leader (woz co-leader) now all we need is to actually do it

pinto32
Feb 4, 2004, 08:36 PM
do you think that PPC's in the PS3 and Xbox 2 will mean that almost all game developement is done on Macs? I see another feather being placed into Apple's cap! :)

themadchemist
Feb 5, 2004, 12:27 AM
I thought this thread had quietly faded away. I guess I was wrong, it just transmogrified itself into an XBox-PPC speculation thread. SWEET!

Dippo
Feb 5, 2004, 03:12 AM
Originally posted by themadchemist
I thought this thread had quietly faded away. I guess I was wrong, it just transmogrified itself into an XBox-PPC speculation thread. SWEET!

Well, everything is happening really fast. Apple is revising their plans at the moment and adding contingency plans.

As soon as "the little birdie" tells me what else he can find out, I will post it here.

quagmire
Jun 14, 2004, 10:23 PM
Any word yet about more info from the birdie?

MrMacMan
Jun 14, 2004, 11:39 PM
Any word yet about more info from the birdie?
Stop Grave Digging!
http://img59.photobucket.com/albums/v181/MrMacMan/crypt_keeper_says.jpg

themadchemist
Jun 14, 2004, 11:47 PM
LOL