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Mr. Anderson
Jun 5, 2002, 03:13 PM
For some reason I was thinking about a couple urban legends and wonder if there are any PC or Mac related ones out there that people might have come across.

eyelikeart
Jun 5, 2002, 03:17 PM
not to sound like a zealot...

but I've heard a few times that PeeCees are better computers than Macs... ;)

Durandal7
Jun 5, 2002, 03:21 PM
Originally posted by eyelikeart

but I've heard a few times that PeeCees are better computers than Macs... ;)
That's just too wild to be true.

Mr. Anderson
Jun 5, 2002, 03:24 PM
That's not exacly what I was thinking. Have you ever heard of the Darwin awards? These are awards given out to people who have removed themselves from the gene pool due to stupidity. There are quite a lot of them and I'm sure some are made up.

But as for urban legend, one I heard a long time ago was about a woman who called tech support (for any computer company, doesn't matter which one) and complained the coffee mug holder on her machine was broken and she wanted to get it fixed. Well, the tech support person was at a loss, because he didn't know of any such device. So she was asked to explain what it looks like; "When I press the little button, the coffee mug hold is supposed to open out from the computer and it has a little indentation in the middle of the tray that fits the mug perfectly so it doesn't slip, also keeping the mug out of the way of the desktop, keyboard and mouse. Now when I press the button, I hear some gears moving but the tray doesn't open"

Pretty sillly, but its one of those things where you could see some computer illiterate not knowing what a CDROM was and just use it for what ever they could think of.

Durandal7
Jun 5, 2002, 03:29 PM
I heard about a woman who called Apple tech support and had a problem with her Performa. She was mad because you could only use the mouse or the keyboard at one time and she had to reach around to the back to switch connections . She was very surprised when it was pointed out to her that the keyboard had an ADB port for the mouse.

eyelikeart
Jun 5, 2002, 03:37 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet
That's not exacly what I was thinking.

:D Ahhhh....the Darwin Awards!! I love reading them! There are a couple books out now as well...have u read or seen them?

ok...so now that I know what u are looking to hear...let me rack my brain for a little bit...

the coffee holder one I've heard before...

u would think from the amount of completely stupid people I encounter with my job on computer/graphic related questions that I'd have a whole list of them for u... :rolleyes:

Durandal7
Jun 5, 2002, 03:45 PM
I tried doing a search for urban legends on the net but the only computer related ones were all fake virus warning.

AmbitiousLemon
Jun 5, 2002, 04:15 PM
ok this isnt mac related but hey we are in the community section. this is one urban legend i hear from lots of people, many of them not so stupid.

its the kfc chicken one (hoping someone has heard of it).

people like to say that KFC uses genetically alterred chickens that have no feathers or beak and have extra breasts and legs. they story continues to say that the reason Kentucky Fried Chicken now calls itself KFC is that it is not allowed to use the word chicken since these genetically altered animals are no longer chicken.

i dont even bother laughing at people anymore when they say it, ive heard it too many times. pretty ridiculous that educated people can be so damn stupid sometimes.


as far as PC related urban legends... it wasnt exactly an urban legend but some months back someone posted a link toa site that had some pretty funny tech questions that some tech had collected. they were all from this one guy who apparently knew nothing about computers. couldnt find it using the search feature but maybe someone with more search skills can find it.

britboy
Jun 5, 2002, 06:44 PM
A site with some funny annectodes is ehumorcentral.com (http://www.ehumorcentral.com/Directory/Jokes/Stupid_Computer_Users/).

They have such beauties as:
Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."

:p :D

Mr. Anderson
Jun 5, 2002, 07:00 PM
That's an oldie but goodie, in the same vein

Tech Support: "Ok, now click any key."
Customer: (silence) "Uh, where's the any key...."

Durandal7
Jun 5, 2002, 07:32 PM
Originally posted by AmbitiousLemon

as far as PC related urban legends... it wasnt exactly an urban legend but some months back someone posted a link toa site that had some pretty funny tech questions that some tech had collected. they were all from this one guy who apparently knew nothing about computers. couldnt find it using the search feature but maybe someone with more search skills can find it.

As long as we're discussing incompetent tech support now, I found this funny site comparing Microsoft Tech Support with the Psychic Friends Network. All in all Psychic Friends Network was more helpful.
http://www.bmug.org/news/articles/MSvsPF.html

King Cobra
Jun 5, 2002, 07:36 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet
Tech Support: "Ok, now click any key."
Customer: (silence) "Uh, where's the any key...."

I remember hearing that on the Simpsons.

"I see Esc, Ctrl, and PgUp." This was said as "I see esk, ktarl and pigup." Then Homer goes on "I think I'll order a tab."

But it's the old jokes that really spark comedy because these are the ones people can relate to, and are plain and simple. Is there a book available with one-liners for computer jokes? If so, I want to LMAO! :)
__________________

Fear the King.

Mr. Anderson
Jun 5, 2002, 07:59 PM
Originally posted by King Cobra


I remember hearing that on the Simpsons.

Is there a book available with one-liners for computer jokes? If so, I want to LMAO! :)

I remember that Simpsons, Homer got to work at home, got really fat, wore a mumu...pretty damn funny.

If you find a site with computer onliners, post it, I'd love to see them myself.

D

big
Jun 5, 2002, 08:00 PM
(this one is true) there is a band of XP lovers that go around sitting on Ibooks

AmbitiousLemon
Jun 5, 2002, 08:06 PM
i know of a lil one who sat on a ti

britboy
Jun 5, 2002, 08:06 PM
Originally posted by big
(this one is true) there is a band of XP lovers that go around sitting on Ibooks


he he... you've got to love the personal touch when it comes to jokes :p

big
Jun 5, 2002, 09:56 PM
I heard certain mac rumor sites are going to start passing out avatars to their "big" clients? huh? what about it?

Rower_CPU
Jun 5, 2002, 10:00 PM
Originally posted by big
I heard certain mac rumor sites are going to start passing out avatars to their "big" clients? huh? what about it?

This one is true...once you've paid your 500 like everyone else. :p

big
Jun 6, 2002, 06:36 PM
ouch, I don't think I have that much to say

big
Jun 6, 2002, 06:40 PM
and I question the counter's accuracy

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 07:09 PM
Originally posted by big
and I question the counter's accuracy

Hunh? How so?

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 07:13 PM
Originally posted by big
and I question the counter's accuracy

as far as i can tell, if you post once, the counter goes up one. then, when you post again, it goes up again.

it's cool. increments of one.

seems hard to be inaccurate there.

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 07:14 PM
Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
as far as i can tell, if you post once, the counter goes up one. then, when you post again, it goes up again.

it's cool. increments of one.

seems hard to be inaccurate there.


Ever the mathematician, eh, jello'? :D :rolleyes:

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 07:18 PM
Originally posted by Rower_CPU
Ever the mathematician, eh, jello'? :D :rolleyes:

hey, i took ap calculus and then calculus 2 in college. so yeah..

there are a few high schoolers here who are in ap calc and can vouch for just how "hard" it is...

my arseski

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 07:21 PM
Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
hey, i took ap calculus and then calculus 2 in college. so yeah..

there are a few high schoolers here who are in ap calc and can vouch for just how "hard" it is...

my arseski

I took calc like...5 and a half years ago (the last time I took a math class)...one of the benefits of being a language major.:D

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 07:25 PM
Originally posted by Rower_CPU


I took calc like...5 and a half years ago (the last time I took a math class)...one of the benefits of being a language major.:D

yeah, that was the last math class i took too. 3 years ago.

one of the benefits of being an artsy freak who can't add or subtract but can frame a shot with the best of them... too bad i can't do any of those things.

big
Jun 6, 2002, 07:31 PM
Sarcasm is a difficult expression on a message board to convey. I went to public school, so we can't really count or read anyways.

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 07:34 PM
Originally posted by big
Sarcasm is a difficult expression on a message board to convey. I went to public school, so we can't really count or read anyways.

as i've been told on here, the roll eyes smiley is supposed to convey sarcasm. i don't see it myself... but who am i to question

yeah, public schoolers. yuck....

back to the topic...... any other urban legends? i'm in the suburbs so....

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 07:34 PM
Originally posted by big
Sarcasm is a difficult expression on a message board to convey. I went to public school, so we can't really count or read anyways.

Gotcha. Smilies work most times. ;) :rolleyes:

britboy
Jun 6, 2002, 07:36 PM
Originally posted by Rower_CPU


I took calc like...5 and a half years ago (the last time I took a math class)...one of the benefits of being a language major.:D

ha... the last math class i took was... about 8:15 this morning :rolleyes:

Still sometimes wish i'd done languages as my major. Then again, what's the point of not challenging yourself?

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 07:38 PM
Originally posted by britboy
ha... the last math class i took was... about 8:15 this morning :rolleyes:

Still sometimes wish i'd done languages as my major. Then again, what's the point of not challenging yourself?

Actually Math and Language have very similar attributes...and require similar amounts of effort.

Besides, you can't program a calculator to speak a foreign language for you. :D :rolleyes:

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 07:39 PM
Originally posted by jelloshotsrule

back to the topic...... any other urban legends? i'm in the suburbs so....

My favorite one is the one about the poster on MacRumors who tried to pass up Rower_CPU for the number 5 spot on the "Top 10 Posters" list, and woke up the next morning dead!

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
:rolleyes:

britboy
Jun 6, 2002, 07:40 PM
Originally posted by Rower_CPU


Actually Math and Language have very similar attributes...and require similar amounts of effort.

Besides, you can't program a calculator to speak a foreign language for you. :D :rolleyes:

I actually find languages to be easier. That's just me though. Now doing maths in a foreign language.... that's just plain stupid :rolleyes:

big
Jun 6, 2002, 07:41 PM
I don't think I'll try to out post anyone

big
Jun 6, 2002, 07:42 PM
though I may try to catch up nicely (apple told me so)

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 07:43 PM
Originally posted by britboy
Then again, what's the point of not challenging yourself?


ummm, you wouldn't be asking this if you were a lazy american


row-dog.... who's trying to pass you? i've got your back on him/her!

and if you were really good. you could indeed program a calculator to speak another language for you..... just put your mind to it nerdy nerderson

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 07:44 PM
Originally posted by britboy
I actually find languages to be easier. That's just me though. Now doing maths in a foreign language.... that's just plain stupid :rolleyes:

Linguistic studies of languages have shown that it is essentially algorithmic, based on equations and rules...I dig that kind of stuff.:D

Being in Europe definitely helps with the whole multilingual thing.:p

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 07:46 PM
Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
ummm, you wouldn't be asking this if you were a lazy american


row-dog.... who's trying to pass you? i've got your back on him/her!

and if you were really good. you could indeed program a calculator to speak another language for you..... just put your mind to it nerdy nerderson

Ha ha!!! It's YOU man!!!

I'm gonna have to break out my nerd skillz and bus' a cap in yo ass!!!:D :rolleyes:

AmbitiousLemon
Jun 6, 2002, 07:47 PM
some languages would be difficult. like english. its got to be damn hard to learn as a non native.

the voice recognition stuff only recently learned how to do tonal languages. so making something that can hear and translate might not be so easy.

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 07:48 PM
Originally posted by Rower_CPU
Ha ha!!! It's YOU man!!!

I'm gonna have to break out my nerd skillz and bus' a cap in yo ass!!!:D :rolleyes:

what the *#$%??? where's the love dog?

actually, i knew that kinda. i just didn't know for sure. and didn't want to assume. well i guess, since i said i have your back, i have to go ahead and rub myself out...

nice knowing you... (though i think your 5x posting pattern will keep you ahead of me....)

ps. still no email. nerd THAT up

britboy
Jun 6, 2002, 07:50 PM
Originally posted by Rower_CPU

Being in Europe definitely helps with the whole multilingual thing.:p


ha! Tell that to the 90+% of brits who can't speak more than 5 words in a foreign language :rolleyes:

What i love is getting an understanding of how the language affects the culture. I don't enjoy the text-book stuff. Instead i go for how it's actually spoken, on the streets, in offices... I've been told that when i switch to a different language, my character changes. Odd? That's what i like to do though: actually get *into* the language.

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 07:51 PM
Originally posted by AmbitiousLemon
some languages would be difficult. like english. its got to be damn hard to learn as a non native.

the voice recognition stuff only recently learned how to do tonal languages. so making something that can hear and translate might not be so easy.

We take for granted the difficulty of our language...silent letters, homonyms (inside joke), etc.

Voice recognition still needs to be trained to be effective (ViaVoice)..someday maybe, we will have HAL to talk to, but not yet.:)

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 07:52 PM
britboy:

so when you speak french you just surrender right away?

and when you speak american english you just sit on the couch and eat twinkies?

and when you speak aussie english you throw back a couple or 20 pints? (same with irish)

and when you speak spanish you do some bullfighting?

etc

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 07:53 PM
Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
what the *#$%??? where's the love dog?

actually, i knew that kinda. i just didn't know for sure. and didn't want to assume. well i guess, since i said i have your back, i have to go ahead and rub myself out...

nice knowing you... (though i think your 5x posting pattern will keep you ahead of me....)

ps. still no email. nerd THAT up

Nah, man, it's cool...just funnin' witcha.:D

Maybe we can tag team jef', he's old and slow, I think we can take him.:p :rolleyes:

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 07:54 PM
Originally posted by Rower_CPU
Nah, man, it's cool...just funnin' witcha.:D

Maybe we can tag team jef', he's old and slow, I think we can take him.:p :rolleyes:

ya think?

yeah, we could take him.

in all his wisdom, he wouldn't see us coming straight at him like a ton of bricks. he'd be too busy starting a macs and... thread.

ha

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 07:55 PM
Originally posted by britboy
ha! Tell that to the 90+% of brits who can't speak more than 5 words in a foreign language :rolleyes:

Wankers! See, I speak British English too!:rolleyes:

Originally posted by britboy
What i love is getting an understanding of how the language affects the culture. I don't enjoy the text-book stuff. Instead i go for how it's actually spoken, on the streets, in offices... I've been told that when i switch to a different language, my character changes. Odd? That's what i like to do though: actually get *into* the language.

Culture and language should never be separated, but unfortunately they are. :(

britboy
Jun 6, 2002, 07:57 PM
Originally posted by jelloshotsrule

so when you speak french you just surrender right away?

and when you speak american english you just sit on the couch and eat twinkies?

and when you speak aussie english you throw back a couple or 20 pints? (same with irish)

and when you speak spanish you do some bullfighting?

etc

Don't ask about what sort of english i speak. The honest answer would be that i don't know. It's been warped from living near a camp of a few hundred canoxy workers (americans) in the middle east. My accent? English/american/you-name-it.

When i speak spanish apparently i become more excited in my speech, talk faster, my voice fluctuates more...

In german, i'm more thoughtful of what i say.

etc, etc...

big
Jun 6, 2002, 07:59 PM
hey, i took ap calculus and then calculus 2 in college. so yeah..

there are a few high schoolers here who are in ap calc and can vouch for just how "hard" it is...
ummm, cal 2 was the easiest class I ever took (at least this semester) now getting into english etc...people are geared towards different abilities, we can pretty much all handle a certain amount of courses and the like from the broad spectrum, we all will find each of us will excel in certain aspects.

big
Jun 6, 2002, 08:00 PM
that aside

language changes so drastically I find it amazing as well, here in the states, southern vernacular has its own rules as does our architecture, same all around. I love to understand and "get into" the languages as well, and use it in my practice

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 08:00 PM
Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
ya think?

yeah, we could take him.

in all his wisdom, he wouldn't see us coming straight at him like a ton of bricks. he'd be too busy starting a macs and... thread.

ha

Nice one!

brit-
Yeah, I do the same with Spanish and French, too. Even when I different dialects of English my style of speech changes...weird...and cool!:D

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 08:01 PM
Originally posted by big
that aside

language changes so drastically I find it amazing as well, here in the states, southern vernacular has its own rules as does our architecture, same all around

Very true. Damned if we don't have twenty different ways of saying the same thing.:)

britboy
Jun 6, 2002, 08:02 PM
Originally posted by Rower_CPU


Yeah, I do the same with Spanish and French, too. Even when I different dialects of English my style of speech changes...weird...and cool!:D

Different dialects? What, like american english and real english?

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 08:03 PM
Originally posted by big
ummm, cal 2 was the easiest class I ever took

ummm, not that i actually thought it was hard, as i was being sarcastic in reference to some folks here who think they are cream of the crop cause they take ap calculus in high school.

that said, not all calc 2 classes are the same. different schools have different curriculum, different teachers, etc.

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 08:09 PM
Originally posted by britboy
Different dialects? What, like american english and real english?

Ha, funny.:rolleyes:

Actually, like street slang, formal speech, geek speak, Hawaiian pidgin' English...stuff like that.

Same as you have cockney accents, and...other accents...:p

big
Jun 6, 2002, 08:09 PM
sorry (don't want to tread on any toes before I hit that 500 mark) sarcasm is difficult to etc etc... on a message board.

in the north, I hear people say "drawrs" as in a desk drawer, here in the south "drawrs" can be used for pants.

imagine when we heard a loud thumb from the front of the office, the new england secretary yelled "oops, I dropped my drawers!"

I think everyone jumped up to uh, make sure she was ok

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 08:14 PM
Originally posted by big
sorry (don't want to tread on any toes before I hit that 500 mark) sarcasm is difficult to etc etc... on a message board.

in the north, I hear people say "drawrs" as in a desk drawer, here in the south "drawrs" can be used for pants.

imagine when we heard a loud thumb from the front of the office, the new england secretary yelled "oops, I dropped my drawers!"

I think everyone jumped up to uh, make sure she was ok

Excellent example!

The English language is just too funny sometimes.:D

Mr. Anderson
Jun 6, 2002, 08:25 PM
You're all geeks.

Jello you need a job, do you know you've posted like 140 today alone? Ha, use your *math* and figure you'll pass quite a few people soon.

I got through too much math in school, getting into differencial calc (ugh!) and lots of linear algebra (matrices), needed that for CompSci.....

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 08:32 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet
You're all geeks.

Jello you need a job, do you know you've posted like 140 today alone? Ha, use your *math* and figure you'll pass quite a few people soon.


admittedly.

hey, i got one, did i tell ya?!

jack. arse.

140 schmorty. i'm just bored. and with row and queen mum going nuts, i figured i should too.

it's fun.

i've TRIED to keep my joking in the "slow" thread since it has little topic... but row and queen mum, as i said, were prodding here too. so. oh well

Mr. Anderson
Jun 6, 2002, 08:35 PM
Originally posted by jelloshotsrule


admittedly.

hey, i got one, did i tell ya?!


I know you got a job, I was just busting your arse for increasing the level of your geekness.

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 08:36 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet
I know you got a job, I was just busting your arse for increasing the level of your geekness.

i know you know. i was busting YOUR arse for busting my arse. bring it in the non-topical thread. d-mod, set a good example

Mr. Anderson
Jun 6, 2002, 08:42 PM
This thread is so off topic, it could almost be an Urban Legend itself. I can't believe you had two thread going on about nothing in general over the past couple of hours. Truly amazing...

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 08:43 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet
This thread is so off topic, it could almost be an Urban Legend itself. I can't believe you had two thread going on about nothing in general over the past couple of hours. Truly amazing...

i'm pretty sure you can believe it.

it's been done before. just not with the same bunch. well, maybe it was... but we got busted before. not this time though. YET.

Mr. Anderson
Jun 6, 2002, 08:46 PM
how are you going to get busted? and what're you doing that you'd have to worry about it?

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 08:50 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet
how are you going to get busted? and what're you doing that you'd have to worry about it?

not using an instant messenger client.


oh and by the way, the heat has been turned up in the private forum! ha. not really. but it's funny. to me and my sickness

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 08:50 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet
This thread is so off topic, it could almost be an Urban Legend itself. I can't believe you had two thread going on about nothing in general over the past couple of hours. Truly amazing...

We strive for excellence!!!

All we need is the proper catalyst and we can bring this whole place down...hell, we even had 'Lemon join in briefly!:eek:

Mr. Anderson
Jun 6, 2002, 08:59 PM
We need to get some non americans in here, but by the time that happens, we'll all be gone and just leave a silly legacy...

Rower_CPU
Jun 6, 2002, 09:02 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet
We need to get some non americans in here, but by the time that happens, we'll all be gone and just leave a silly legacy...

Too late, look at the Bush presidency.:p :rolleyes:

jelloshotsrule
Jun 6, 2002, 09:05 PM
Originally posted by dukestreet
We need to get some non americans in here, but by the time that happens, we'll all be gone and just leave a silly legacy...

legacy eh?

that's being generous.

how about a trail of idiocy?

Mr. Anderson
Jun 6, 2002, 09:06 PM
Originally posted by Rower_CPU


Too late, look at the Bush presidency.:p :rolleyes:

best to quote Meg Ryan here from Joe VS. the Volcano

'I have no response to that'

big
Jun 7, 2002, 12:06 AM
man you guys have posted so much while Im off living my life at spontaneous bacholerette parties...(they seem to pop up out of the blue here in huntsvegas, pics later)

speaking of Bush...Have you heard how were about to go take out Saddam & Iraq? that "we need to go get them before they get us"

any opinions?

Rower_CPU
Jun 7, 2002, 12:10 AM
That's news to me...maybe I should spend some time on CNN.com.:D

I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to finish what his Dad left undone...but I'm not sure there's any motive there other than that.

It would probably keep his approval rating high as well, and keep people from scrutinizing domestic policy, environmental issues, etc...

britboy
Jun 7, 2002, 05:14 AM
Originally posted by dukestreet
We need to get some non americans in here, but by the time that happens, we'll all be gone and just leave a silly legacy...


Well, i'm back again. Happy now duke?

Queen Mum.... ha! Is this my new nickname or something?

So we've got hglm, d-mod, row-dog... and queen mum :confused: :D

Mr. Anderson
Jun 7, 2002, 08:09 AM
Originally posted by britboy
Queen Mum.... ha! Is this my new nickname or something?

So we've got hglm, d-mod, row-dog... and queen mum :confused: :D

Yeah, jello is making his mark on the forums, oh well. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't post 200 a day, making it seem like its been going on for weeks....ha