So today at church I saw a pregnant 16 year old.

[iParis]

Or at least I think she's 16, maybe 15.
If she is 16 it's only by a couple months.
She was in my biology class last year and is really nice but often got around (if you know what I mean).
I got really sad everytime I looked at her but a part of me kept thinking she deserves it, which she probably does and most likely to teach her a lesson.
Well I feel really bad for her and would rather her not be pregnant.
It just amazes me at the kind of mistakes this generation (my generation) often makes.
:(

[.Andy]

I got really sad everytime I looked at her but a part of me kept thinking she deserves it, which she probably does and most likely to teach her a lesson.
Lesson children are the best types.

[iParis]

Lesson children are the best types.

Sorry, I didn't quite understand that.
Do you mean, "lessoned children are the best types?"

[MacDawg]

Or at least I think she's 16, maybe 15.
If she is 16 it's only by a couple months.
She was in my biology class last year and is really nice but often got around (if you know what I mean).
I got really sad everytime I looked at her but a part of me kept thinking she deserves it, which she probably does and most likely to teach her a lesson.
It just amazes me at the kind of mistakes this generation (my generation) often makes.
:(

What kind of judgment is that?
Teach her a lesson... she deserved it?
Wow... who made you judge and jury?

Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif

[iParis]

What kind of judgment is that?
Teach her a lesson... she deserved it?
Wow... who made you judge and jury?

Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif

No one, I didn't judge her.
If I judged her I would have just thought she got around without knowing it.
I know this girl and know that she often has sex and does drugs.
I would have preferred it if she didn't get pregnant but maybe now she won't have sex as often or at all, or at least not until she's older.

[iJohnHenry]

Very sanctimonious, considering it's not your life that has been affected.

[.Andy]

maybe now she won't have sex as often or at all, or at least not until she's older.
Why not?

[EricNau]

I fail to see how this is any of your, or our, concern.

[iParis]

Very sanctimonious, considering it's not your life that has been affected.

Just because I'm not affected doesn't mean I can't feel sorry or care about her personal well being.
And I was also trying to point out that there are many more people like this.

[calculus]

Why not?

Because sex is bad obviously...

[iParis]

Why not?

Because she got pregnant from it. :rolleyes:
Ok, maybe she won't have unprotected sex as often or any more.

[Eidorian]

Very sanctimonious, considering it's not your life that has been affected.

I fail to see how this is any of your, or our, concern.I couldn't agree more.

[iParis]

Because sex is bad obviously...

Not bad persay.
Just for someone of her age, and especially if she didn't use protection.
She has dropped out of school and I bet her parents aren't too happy they have to help support the baby.

[ipodtouchy333]

If anything, I would feel bad for her.

[iJohnHenry]

I bet her parents aren't too happy they have to help support the baby.

Still more snap judgements.

My, you are a busy boy.

[iParis]

If anything, I would feel bad for her.

I did.
I tried to imply that when I said it made me feel said, sorry if it didn't.

[NC MacGuy]

It's a hard "lesson" to learn at such a young age and she needs friends, not judges at this time in her life. Be a friend - you never know when you'll get a life lesson and need one in return.

It's good you realize it's a mistake but try and be compassionate.

Hopefully she'll put the baby up for adoption. I know plenty of couples who'd love to adopt but options are few. At least she'll have the chance to regain her life and give the baby a fighting chance at a normal one too.

[iJohnHenry]

Nope, that would be too Christian an action for our young, judgemental OP.

[zap2]

**cough** abortion **cough**


16 years is simple to young

[ipodtouchy333]

I did.
I tried to imply that when I said it made me feel said, sorry if it didn't.

You did.

[iParis]

**cough** abortion **cough**


16 years is simple to young

I was thinking that, but her parents are hardcore Catholics and would most likely not go for it.

[NC MacGuy]

16 years is simple to young

News flash: Mother Nature thinks differently.

[NT1440]

Lotta haters in this thread.

16 is far too young.

[Jaffa Cake]

When we went to our pre-birth 'parenting classes', there was a young lady there who would have been about 16. However, we didn't get all judgemental because;


These things do happen
It wasn't really any of our business

[iParis]

Lotta haters in this thread.

16 is far too young.

Exactly the majority of my point.

[bobfitz14]

I was thinking that, but her parents are hardcore Catholics and would most likely not go for it.

i'm on your side for everything but the thought of abortion.

[iParis]

When we went to our pre-birth 'parenting classes', there was a young lady there who would have been about 16. However, we didn't get all judgemental because;


These things do happen
It wasn't really any of our business


Tell me, how am I being judgemental?
Again, everything that I "judged" her from wasn't judging, I know her.
If it was someone else that I didn't know I probably would be like, "eh, that sucks."

[ipodtouchy333]

But I do kinda agree with you on the fact that she should have been a lot more careful. I mean duh! I still sympathize with her though.

[iParis]

i'm on your side for everything but the thought of abortion.

Great, I wouldn't be surprised if this turned into a huge "yes vs no on abortion" thread.

But I do kinda agree with you on the fact that she should have been a lot more careful. I mean duh! I still sympathize with her though.

FINALLY somebody that is completely with me.

[jessica.]

What kind of judgment is that?
Teach her a lesson... she deserved it?
Wow... who made you judge and jury?

Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif
Thank you! That is the first thing that ran through my mind as well. I simply don't agree that girls who get pregnant this young are always sleeping around. This is just yet another judgmental stereotype that people with zero understanding actually have.

Feel free to feel sorry for her making a decision that was bad, but you don't know whether or not she was protected. You're simply assuming.

iParis, regardless of whether or not you believe you've judged her, you have. However, you don't know the structure of her home and if you come close to even telling me that kids from good homes do not get pregnant then we'll have a whole other discussion where I can prove without doubt that the statement would be incorrect to say the least.

That said, none of you know how the parents plan to handle this. If the parents plan on not supporting their child then adoption is the right way. If they plan on providing a home for the mother and child until the mother can stand on her own the keeping it is best. A child should be with their natural mother if at all possible. Clearly if the child's well being is at all in jeopardy then I would rather know the girl is going to give it up to a good home. A child can come from a 16 year old and grow up in a extraordinary loving home having everything they could ever want and wind up having a better life than some children born to "adults". But the 16 year old will need help, that goes without saying.

BTW, I hope the title doesn't suggest your surprise to see a pregnant teen in church.

Great, I wouldn't be surprised if this turned into a huge "yes vs no on abortion" thread.



FINALLY somebody that is completely with me.

Um if you're looking for people on the internet to always agree with you then I am sorry, you will soon be disappointed.

[NC MacGuy]

16 is too young for what?
Having sex? A little late there.
Having a baby? Well, it's not.
For keeping the child and raising it? I agree 100%.

I'm an advocate for adoption. If she's already showing, an abortions time has passed.

[calculus]

Tell me, how am I being judgemental?


Well this bit springs to mind...

a part of me kept thinking she deserves it, which she probably does and most likely to teach her a lesson.

[EricNau]

16 is far too young.
In your personal opinion.

There are far too many assumptions in this thread. What if she wanted to get pregnant? What if she's looking forward to being a mother? What if her parents are ecstatic to be grandparents?

Why are so many intent in making this their business when it clearly isn't?

[Jaffa Cake]

Tell me, how am I being judgemental?Well, I suppose she does 'deserve it' and it will most likely 'teach her a lesson'...

[jessica.]

Human nature to assume things like this. However, there is always going to be closed-minded people passing judgement about total strangers who aren't even members of this forum.

[dukebound85]

Just because I'm not affected doesn't mean I can't feel sorry or care about her personal well being.
And I was also trying to point out that there are many more people like this.
Not bad persay.
Just for someone of her age, and especially if she didn't use protection.
She has dropped out of school and I bet her parents aren't too happy they have to help support the baby.

you say you dont judge her yet you are clearly. why do you feel sorry for her? yes it may be a hardship but who are you to say she will regret it?

I fail to see how this is any of your, or our, concern.

exactly. its none of anyone's business besides hers and her family's

[Sun Baked]

As long as isn't her first trick baby and you can still see signs of drug use, I don't see why people should be too judgmental.

[iParis]

BTW, I hope the title doesn't suggest your surprise to see a pregnant teen in church.

Um if you're looking for people on the internet to always agree with you then I am sorry, you will soon be disappointed.

No, it wasn't suggesting that.

And, I don't expect hardly anyone to agree with me, basically because people often don't.

16 is too young for what?
Having sex? A little late there.
Having a baby? Well, it's not.
For keeping the child and raising it? I agree 100%.

I'm not sure if she is or isn't going to keep it.
I highly doubt the father will be helping out.
I'll ask her the next time I see her.

I'm an advocate for adoption. If she's already showing, an abortions time has passed.

Yeah, it's definitely past.

[r6girl]

Because she got pregnant from it. :rolleyes:
Ok, maybe she won't have unprotected sex as often or any more.

How do you know it was unprotected sex? Condoms break, the Pill isn't 100% effective, etc. You've never had an accident?

It's understandable to feel bad for someone, but I find your whole tone sanctimonious and uncaring. This girl doesn't need, or probably want, your pity or you to look down on her. 16 is indeed young (too young, IMHO) to have a child, but things could still go well for her and her child without people like you thinking poorly of her while she's in a tough situation.

What goes around comes around - don't be surprised if no one supports you when you need it most.

[akonradi]

She was in my biology class last year
If there's any good to come from this, at least she paid attention during school.

[bobfitz14]

Great, I wouldn't be surprised if this turned into a huge "yes vs no on abortion" thread...

haha sorry, i'm not trying to make it an argument whether abortion is "right" or not, i was just saying that because the majority of the people who replied were saying it's not your business and such. so i was just trying to side with you, though i don't agree on everything.

[synth3tik]

I still fail to see why you would care, and why you think you can judge someone without even knowing their story.:confused:

[Iscariot]

Lesson children are the best types.

Judgment children are better, they cook up plumper.

[.Andy]

Judgment children are better, they cook up plumper.
Both are delicious with sanctimony gravy and baby peas.

[rdowns]

I think it best I just shake my head and move on. :rolleyes:

[iJohnHenry]

Mouse is now taking bets on how long this thread will endure.

Place your bets, please!!

[zap2]

News flash: Mother Nature thinks differently.

:rolleyes:

Yes, because she can, she should
:rolleyes::rolleyes:

[.Andy]

Mouse is now taking bets on how long this thread will endure.

Place your bets, please!!
Less than 9 months.


p.s. are you coining yourself a nickname and referring to yourself in the third person :D!

[iJohnHenry]

Less than 9 months.


Very astute. Animal Husbandry major, right??

p.s. are you coining yourself a nickname and referring to yourself in the third person :D!
I am know as Mouse in other places, but that i.d. was obviously taken in such a large board as MR.

[.Andy]

Very astute. Animal Husbandry major, right??
Close :D!

I am know as Mouse in other places, but that i.d. was obviously taken in such a large board as MR.
How about murine? Or Mus musculus :)?

[letsgorangers]

Good to see blind judgment still alive and well in church :rolleyes:

People in glass houses...

[és:]

The person that I feel most sorry for is not the girl and not the potential child but the poster of this thread that has shown his/her true colours in his judgmental comments.

In a few years that girl will have aged and have a beautiful child, she will have grown through her experience. You, however will probably still be the same person you are now.

[iParis]

Human nature to assume things like this. However, there is always going to be closed-minded people passing judgement about total strangers who aren't even members of this forum.

Exept for she isn't a stranger.

If there's any good to come from this, at least she paid attention during school.

But she didn't. I know that as a fact. She sat right next to me.

[redwarrior]

Good to see blind judgment still alive and well in church :rolleyes:

People in glass houses...
It has nothing to do with being in church. It is everywhere. At least she felt she could go into this church; that means something.

[akonradi]

But she didn't. I know that as a fact. She sat right next to me.
Seems that she managed to learn at least something during biology. Or maybe she just entered the class as an expert on human anatomy?

[iParis]

The person that I feel most sorry for is not the girl and not the potential child but the poster of this thread that has shown his/her true colours in his judgmental comments.

In a few years that girl will have aged and have a beautiful child, she will have grown through her experience. You, however will probably still be the same person you are now.

Who says that will happen?
Maybe she is giving it up for adoption.
Maybe she won't change and turn out to be one of those screwed up people who force her parents to take of her child while she goes out drinking and does drugs.
I'm not saying neither will happen.
There's a good chance she will learn and end up having a good life but there's also chance what I stated above will happen.

[dukebound85]

Exept for she isn't a stranger.



But she didn't. I know that as a fact. She sat right next to me.

once again, please stop being so judgmental on others. you dont know her story....yet you act like you do because you have a class with her???

what makes you feel you are on a somewhat moral high horse compared to her? besides aren't you 14? hardly an age to be acting as if you know all concerning decisions that you make, let alone that others make....

[iParis]

once again, please stop being so judgmental on others. you dont know her story....yet you act like you do because you have a class with her???

what makes you feel you are on a somewhat moral high horse compared to her?

I don't. :confused:
I often talked to her and I'm pretty sure she would not want this to happen.

[NT1440]

once again, please stop being so judgmental on others. you dont know her story....yet you act like you do because you have a class with her???



Well if you dont know him personally, how do you know hes going to screw up the country? isnt that being a little judgemental?

wait, wrong thread.

>_>


<_<

[iParis]

Wow, a lot of people are bagging me for being "judgemental."
I did not make this thread to be insulted. So please.
Now I'm getting to see some of your guys' true colors.

[letsgorangers]

It has nothing to do with being in church. It is everywhere. At least she felt she could go into this church; that means something.
But that's the thing. This kid made a point to mention he saw her in church and then proceeded to judge her. It's unfair for her to feel like it's a safe place and then still gets silently judged.

[dukebound85]

Well if you dont know him personally, how do you know hes going to screw up the country? isnt that being a little judgemental?

wait, wrong thread.

>_>


<_<

wait what?

[dukebound85]

Wow, a lot of people are bagging me for being "judgemental."
I did not make this thread to be insulted. So please.
Now I'm getting to see some of your guys' true colors.

you are being judgmental:cool:

do you really not see that?

[.Andy]

Wow, a lot of people are bagging me for being "judgemental."
This doesn't tell you something?

[iParis]

wait what?

I think he was saying a joke. XD
I think something like you guys are judging me, so don't tell me not be judgemental.
Maybe I'm wrong.
The "him" in the sentence could mean Obama.

[NT1440]

wait what?

Think about it.

You guys are all ragging on OP for being "so judgemental", I made a referance to the other judgements that go on in PRSI, namely about a certain marxist socialist muslim terrorist unamerican who we voted in;)

[NC MacGuy]

Everybody judges everything. It's human nature. Unfortunate but true. Church doesn't hold immunity for its participants.

I don't think it proper to judge a kid of 14-16 for judging someone else.

I've kept out of PRSI and got sucked in. Judge me for being an idiot.

Idiot out...

[dukebound85]

I think he was saying a joke. XD
I think something like you guys are judging me, so don't tell me not be judgemental.
I wrong.
The "him" in the sentence could mean Obama.

and if he read my posts, he would know i do not think Obama is going to be a bad leader and in fact, supported him in the end

Think about it.

You guys are all ragging on OP for being "so judgemental", I made a referance to the other judgements that go on in PRSI, namely about a certain marxist socialist muslim terrorist unamerican who we voted in;)

i did and your post is out of line with this thread to say the least

lets not derail this thread though

No one, I didn't judge her.
If I judged her I would have just thought she got around without knowing it.
I know this girl and know that she often has sex and does drugs.
I would have preferred it if she didn't get pregnant but maybe now she won't have sex as often or at all, or at least not until she's older.

the op says he didnt judge her and he clearly is but he refuses to recognize it.

[iParis]

wait what?

you are being judgmental:cool:

do you really not see that?

Ok, say I am... doesn't mean it has to be pointed out multiple times per page.
This thread has basically turned into "Geez, you're being a judgemental jerk."

[iParis]

Think about it.

You guys are all ragging on OP for being "so judgemental", I made a referance to the other judgements that go on in PRSI, namely about a certain marxist socialist muslim terrorist unamerican who we voted in;)

Everybody judges everything. It's human nature. Unfortunate but true. Church doesn't hold immunity for its participants.

I don't think it proper to judge a kid of 14-16 for judging someone else.

I've kept out of PRSI and got sucked in. Judge me for being an idiot.

Idiot out...

Very good points, thank you.

[Peterkro]

Everybody judges everything. It's human nature.

What is this "human nature" of which you speak?

[.Andy]

What is this "human nature" of which you speak?
They are a boy band from Australia.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=YK-3LZ16D9E

[iParis]

i did and your post is out of line with this thread to say the least

lets not derail this thread though

Let's not, even though it's already been slightly derailed by you people yelling at me for being judgemental.

[Blue Velvet]

They are a boy band from Australia.


Boy bands lead to dangerous thoughts... which then lead to 16 year old girls getting pregnant. The connection is clear as can be:

It just amazes me at the kind of mistakes this generation (my generation) often makes.

[skunk]

iParis, let me add my opinion: you are being sanctimonious and judgmental. You do not know how the girl became pregnant, you do not know if she wants the child, you have made no comment about the person who impregnated her (it could have been a rape, for all you know) and yet you are judging her morality, her judgment, her concern for her parents, her relationship with the father, her prospects in life, and many other things besides.

The best thing you could do is to offer your honest friendship and support if she needs it, but if you continue to prejudge her as you evidently have, your friendship may be a poisoned chalice.

[Peterkro]

Boy bands lead to dangerous thoughts... which then lead to 16 year old girls getting pregnant. The connection is clear as can be:

I thought all boy bands were gay.

[.Andy]

I thought all boy bands were gay.
That's an elaborate ruse so we don't suspect them of making harmonious looooooovvvveeee with our ladies :mad:

[dukebound85]

Let's not, even though it's already been slightly derailed by you people yelling at me for being judgemental.

my issue op is this

you post this thread and bring an "air" of superiority over this girl by saying she is basically effing up her life by getting pregnant.

you say you didnt judge her and you are but cant recognize it for some odd reason

i also have an issue with you assuming you know what's best for her without you knowing her full story, with you being 14 for goodness's sake

how can you possibly know what's best for her? how can you possibly know that having a child is a grave mistake? it could turn out to be one of the greatest moments of her life and i would bet she would not regret having the baby once born

to her, i wish the best of luck as times will be rough no doubt being that young with a child. to her, i wish people dont judge her like you have and assume that her baby is a "mistake". to her i hope she can see pasts people's negative reactions and make good of a hard situation

also op, dont expect to post a thread and have everyone side with you and get all angry when people clealry dont. if you dont want to hear other people's opinion, dont post the thread to begin with

[iParis]

iParis, let me add my opinion: you are being sanctimonious and judgmental. You do not know how the girl became pregnant, you do not know if she wants the child, you have made no comment about the person who impregnated her (it could have been a rape, for all you know) and yet you are judging her morality, her judgment, her concern for her parents, her relationship with the father, her prospects in life, and many other things besides.

The best thing you could do is to offer your honest friendship and support if she needs it, but if you continue to prejudge her as you evidently have, your friendship may be a poisoned chalice.

OMG. Do you know how many times this has been pointed out?
Ok, so what if I don't know if she was rapped or about the father... but even so if I was a girl and this happened to me, whether is it was rape or not, I would most likely have sex less often or not at all until I was older.

[iJohnHenry]

I could be doing better things, like picking my nose. :mad:

[MacDawg]

Surely this thread has run its course and will be closed by BV or some other merciful Mod soon :o

Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif

[.Andy]

Perhaps this thread could be merged with this one;
http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=231882

[iParis]

my issue op is this

you post this thread and bring an "air" of superiority over this girl by saying she is basically effing up her life by getting pregnant.

you say you didnt judge her and you are but cant recognize it for some odd reason

i also have an issue with you assuming you know what's best for her without you knowing her full story, with you being 14 for goodness's sake

how can you possibly know what's best for her? how can you possibly know that having a child is a grave mistake? it could turn out to be one of the greatest moments of her life and i would bet she would not regret having the baby once born

to her, i wish the best of luck as times will be rough no doubt being that young with a child. to her, i wish people dont judge her like you have and assume that her baby is a "mistake". to her i hope she can see pasts people's negative reactions and make good of a hard situation

Oh, and I'm 16.
Okay, maybe it's not going to be the biggest mistake of her life but I've seen this happen many times before and usually it is.

I like how everybody is focusing on the fact that if it was an accident I said maybe she deserved it and it may or may not teach her a lesson.
Everybody is ignoring the part where I said I feel bad for her and it made me sad.

[Tosser]

News flash: Mother Nature thinks differently.

A little OT, but that's a dangerous argument, considering that these days some 8-10 year olds enter puberty.

Seriously, though. It's only "too young" if people judge instead of help. And it certainly depends on the girl. Perhaps this is her big chance to shine. I'm serious.

It's funny, though. The OP and parents of the girl are apparently hardcore catholics: Once again it shows how ignorant abstinence and hardcore religious -isms falls flat in the logcs department. You can't preach "compassion" yet be utterly judgemental, you can't preach abstinence since that goes against the grain of human nature and you certainly can't judge someone for getting pregnant when your religion tells you to not use protection.


What goes around comes around - don't be surprised if no one supports you when you need it most.

Seriously, as bad as it sounds, I, for one, would hesitate helping someone like the OP. At least at first. Let them sweat a little, in order for them to learn what (a lack of) empathy and compassion really is. Yes, it sounds bad. But in three pages the OP et all obviously have not even understood what empathy, "being judgemental" and "compassion" mean intellectually.


Oh, and I'm 16.
Okay, maybe it's not going to be the biggest mistake of her life but I've seen this happen many times before and usually it is.

You're 16. I seriously doubt how "many times" you've seen this before. And the "bad part"? I'm sorry, but that seems to be your peers (parents, church friends et al) who have given you that opinion. I mean: YOU and YOUR peers see it as "bad", thus it MUST be.

I like how everybody is focusing on the fact that if it was an accident I said maybe she deserved it and it may or may not teach her a lesson.
You like that?

Everybody is ignoring the part where I said I feel bad for her and it made me sad.
Well, the reason is, of course, it shows how you try to shove YOUR standards, YOUR beliefs, YOUR morals down the throat of others. In short: We're NOT ignoring the rest of it, we read the whole statement as a whole.

Oh, and noone actually believes you "feel sorry". Nothing in your posts suggests you're "sorry" or "feel bad for her". On the contrary it seems liek those statements where put there for good measure, because the post as a whole doesn't read like that at all. If you had said "pity her", you might have been more correct, although just as far from "compassionate", "empathic", or "sorry" as you are now.

[NT1440]

Why does everyone think OP was preaching hate or something towards this girl?

Did you miss the parts where he said he felt bad? Its not like theres no empathy whatsoever.

[iParis]

A little OT, but that's a dangerous argument, considering that these days some 8-10 year olds enter puberty.

Seriously, though. It's only "too young" if people judge instead of help. And it certainly depends on the girl. Perhaps this is her big chance to shine. I'm serious.

It's funny, though. The OP and parents of the girl are apparently hardcore catholics: Once again it shows how ignorant abstinence and hardcore religious -isms falls flat in the logcs department. You can't preach "compassion" yet be utterly judgemental, you can't preach abstinence since that goes against the grain of human nature and you certainly can't judge someone for getting pregnant when your religion tells you to not use protection.



Seriously, as bad as it sounds, I, for one, would hesitate helping someone like the OP. At least at first. Let them sweat a little, in order for them to learn what (a lack of) empathy and compassion really is. Yes, it sounds bad. But in three pages the OP et all obviously have not even understood what empathy, "being judgemental" and "compassion" mean intellectually.

I'm not a hardcore Catholic, at all.
Now you're judging me.
And I do feel bad for her.
AGAIN, nobody is even thinking about the part where I said it made me sad and I feel bad for her.

[iParis]

Why does everyone think OP was preaching hate or something towards this girl?

Did you miss the parts where he said he felt bad? Its not like theres no empathy whatsoever.

THANK YOU.
I don't feel any hate towards her.
In fact there have been many parts where I said I care for her.

[dukebound85]

why does it make you feel bad and sad if you dont know her entire situation again? why do you assume that its negative again?

as for you saying youve seen this happen many times before and it being the worst mistake for these girl's lives........riiiiiight somehow you dont seem credible there:rolleyes:

[iParis]

why does it make you feel bad and sad if you dont know her entire situation again? why do you assume that its negative again?

as for you saying youve seen this happen many times before and it being the worst mistake for these girl's lives........riiiiiight somehow you dont seem credible there:rolleyes:

Because as I stated, it is normally the situation.
Based on how I know her, I don't think she would want to have a kid right now or even at all.
I could be wrong.

as for you saying youve seen this happen many times before and it being the worst mistake for these girl's lives........riiiiiight somehow you dont seem credible there:rolleyes:

WHAT? Do you tyink I'm lying?

[drichards]

I hope the girl has the support of her family, and if she doesn't, that she makes good decisions based on the life of the child. Adoption is a good option. Many many many people would be thrilled to have the opportunity to adopt an American newborn. Many people would also be willing to compensate the girl generously. Sure, she's sixteen, but she can give the child a good home if she doesn't have one available herself, which is so often the case of a girl who's getting around.

[Mac-Addict]

The girl made the choice to have sex, if her parents wont let her have an abortion or if she didnt want to. She's now facing the consequences of having a baby and maybe she wants the child and can give it a good home, maybe shes too young and life will be hard. Whatever happens, just because we aren't in her position doesn't automatically give us the right to pass judgement, And I am 100% sure she doesn't want a bunch of random strangers and the guy she sat next to in biology talking about her on some company inspired internet forum.

[dukebound85]

[/QUOTE
WHAT? Do you tyink I'm lying?

in short, yes by exaggerating your "experience" concerning this immensly

exactly how many young mothers 16 and under do you know personally who have had kids and know firsthand that having a child was the worst mistake of their lives?

[Tosser]

I'm not a hardcore Catholic, at all.

Well, you said her parents were hardcore catholics, and you going to church and using "church rhetorics" (for want of a better term) projecting religious morals and beliefs, judging other people certainly put you in that category in my book. Of course, it doesn't help that I'm a dane, and here people as a whole reallly don't "go to church".

Now you're judging me.
Yes, but I do so based on what you say and how you say it.

And I do feel bad for her.
Well, at least you CLAIM to care. So far the only thing you got is the claim. NOTHING in your posts suggest that it's anything more than rhetorics, though.

AGAIN, nobody is even thinking about the part where I said it made me sad and I feel bad for her.
Look above, and in the post you quoted (I added a part while you responded).

[NT1440]

so let me get this straight, basing your nonstop criticism of OP off of the details he provided, meaning not the whole story, you guys come in and decide to preach about not judging when the whole story isnt known.


hmmm....


Seriously, the horse is in its last throws, BLUE VELVET just put it out of its misery.

[apsterling]

WHAT? Do you tyink I'm lying?

Based on his statement that he thinks it's hardly credible, that's a pretty solid yes. Either that or he thinks you're embellishing a tad.

My opinion is that yes, it sucks that she has to deal with it, but it could be, as others have said, a good chance for her to show maturity.

[Tosser]

Because as I stated, it is normally the situation.
Based on how I know her, I don't think she would want to have a kid right now or even at all.
I could be wrong.

Yes, you could.



WHAT? Do you tyink I'm lying?

Well, you can call it what you want, but the reality is that what you're saying sounds rather unbelievable. And if one was to analyse a bit, it's more likely you have "been told" how "bad" these things are. Both because of your age, but also such simple things as your argumentation, and even such a simple thing as the give-away-title of this thread.

[Blue Velvet]

If people simply stopped posting and replying in a thread, choosing instead to ignore it, I wouldn't have to close it, would I?

Golly. Now there's a novel idea.

[dukebound85]

people shouldnt post in the prsi if they cant handle others' criticism when their views are very debatable....

[iJohnHenry]

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g158/MouseMeat/Smilies/Attemptingtogiveadamn.gif

[NT1440]

people shouldnt post in the prsi if they cant handle others' criticism when their views are very debatable....

which has what to do with the thread topic?

For me I feel this is one of those questions on a multiple choice where the answer is " not enough information given"

Tho i will say this, i do consider it IMHO (mine only) that its rather foolish to have a child when you yourself are still a child in todays terms.

[Tosser]

so let me get this straight, basing your nonstop criticism of OP off of the details he provided, meaning not the whole story, you guys come in and decide to preach about not judging when the whole story isnt known.

Ehm, it's not racism calling out racism if it occurs. It's not discriminatory to tell people they aren't allowed to discriminate (or just shouldn't discriminate.

You don't need to know "the whole story" if someone comes waltzing and tries to argue that "women should stay at home", or that "black people are lesser people" or whatnot.
In extremis, I don't need to know "the whole story" about WWII and what led up to it, to know that witch hunts, demonising, and genocide is a bad thing or that people trying to convince others they're a good thing are "all that". That's not being "judgemental", that's simply taking what they say at face value while drawing analytical parallels.

[dukebound85]

which has what to do with the thread topic?


the whole thread maybe?? and those saying it should be closed because people are not agreeing with the op....

[iParis]

The girl made the choice to have sex, if her parents wont let her have an abortion or if she didnt want to. She's now facing the consequences of having a baby and maybe she wants the child and can give it a good home, maybe shes too young and life will be hard. Whatever happens, just because we aren't in her position doesn't automatically give us the right to pass judgement, And I am 100% sure she doesn't want a bunch of random strangers and the guy she sat next to in biology talking about her on some company inspired internet forum.

Then why did you post a reply?

in short, yes by exaggerating your "experience" concerning this immensly

exactly how many young mothers 16 and under do you know personally who have had kids and know firsthand that having a child was the worst mistake of their lives?

Personally, two.
One which was MY mother.
It wasn't the worst mistake of her life but was a big one.
My dad didn't do crap to help her out.
She was barely able to stay in school and my mom and grandmother had to take care of me while she was.
She thought she woud be able to go to college for four years but that didn't last long and she had to drop out after two years because my grandpa and grandma didn't have as much time on their hands.

Well, you said her parents were hardcore catholics, and you going to church and using "church rhetorics" (for want of a better term) projecting religious morals and beliefs, judging other people certainly put you in that category in my book. Of course, it doesn't help that I'm a dane, and here people as a whole reallly don't "go to church".

Yes, but I do so based on what you say and how you say it.


So you're judging me on my actions/words.
I'm judging the same way except getting flamed for it.

[dukebound85]

Personally, two.
One which was MY mother.
It wasn't the worst mistake of her life but was a big one.
My dad didn't do crap to help her out.
She was barely able to stay in school and my mom and grandmother had to take care of me while she was.
She thought she woud be able to go to college for four years but that didn't last long and she had to drop out after two years because my grandpa and grandma didn't have as much time on their hands.


ahhh so "many times before" means 2 and from the sounds of it from this thread, you dont even know the second one well

see i told you you exaggerated:rolleyes:.
Okay, maybe it's not going to be the biggest mistake of her life but I've seen this happen many times before and usually it is.

so with that said, how can you be so certain its a horrible mistake?

[Tosser]

So you're judging me on my actions/words.
I'm judging the same way except getting flamed for it.

LOL, as mentioned, pointing out discriminatory behaviour is in itself NOT discriminatory.
Yes, the above is an example, but this isn't:

Pointing out that your claims and arguments are judgemental is NOT in itself judgemental.

Let's say someone wen't "All xx should not be allowed to vote/live/marry/have sex/whatever". If I go "Sorry, but you should have no say in that, and you're trying to clubber people over the head with your own belief system", that does not make me anything of what I describe.

You argument reminds me - seriously - of people I have met that were discriminatory (in all walks of life, be it race, gender, religion, and so on), and when pointing this out to them, they went "But you're being discriminatory towards me" insinuating they had a right to impose those feelings and morals onto others. In other words: They thought they were superiour, that they had much wider rights than anyone else.

[iParis]

ahhh so "many times before" means 2 and from the sounds of it from this thread, you dont even know the second one well

see i told you you exaggerated:rolleyes:.


so with that said, how can you be so certain its a horrible mistake?

Ok Mr. Know-it-all, how many situations do you know of where this has been a good thing and not a mistake?

[dukebound85]

Ok Mr. Know-it-all, how many situations do you know of where this has been a good thing and not a mistake?

last i checked, im not the one claiming its the worst mistake now am i:rolleyes:

allow me to quote myself...


to her, i wish the best of luck as times will be rough no doubt being that young with a child. to her, i wish people dont judge her like you have and assume that her baby is a "mistake". to her i hope she can see pasts people's negative reactions and make good of a hard situation

[NT1440]

Ok Mr. Know-it-all, how many situations do you know of where this has been a good thing and not a mistake?

oh dont you know?

Every pregnancy is a wonderful little gift from god that can only bring good to everyone involved.

Seriously you're best off just leaving this thread alone, its just going to keep going this way.


No one wants to say teen pregnancy is bad, but come on, its not the greatest thing since sliced bread either.

[Tosser]

oh dont you know?

Every pregnancy is a wonderful little gift from god that can only bring good to everyone involved.

That's an ironic use of sarcasm, considering who's being judgemental here, and who began this thread.


No one wants to say teen pregnancy is bad, but come on, its not the greatest thing since sliced bread either.

Noone is claiming it is. But it certainly depends on how the network is and who the person is.

[iParis]

so with that said, how can you be so certain its a horrible mistake?

When did I say I'm certain this is a huge mistake?
If I did, I don't remember.

[EricNau]

Ok Mr. Know-it-all, how many situations do you know of where this has been a good thing and not a mistake?
That's completely irrelevant, because it's not your place to evaluate her situation.

Whether you are expressing sadness, disapproval, pity, criticism, or sympathy on her behalf, it's misplaced because it's none of your concern.

Who are you to say what is and what isn't good for somebody you barely know?

[dukebound85]

When did I say I'm certain this is a huge mistake?
If I did, I don't remember.

you did and have been saying so this whole thread

here is your response to what i wrote for one such instance...

Okay, maybe it's not going to be the biggest mistake of her life but I've seen this happen many times before and usually it is.

emphasis is mine

[iParis]

you did and have been saying so this whole thread

here is your response to what i wrote for one such instance...


emphasis is mine

Maybe does not mean certain.
Nor does usually mean certain.

[NT1440]

picking and choosing words to try to prove something is fun isnt it kiddies?

[EricNau]

Maybe does not mean certain.
Nor does usually mean certain.
Even making the suggestion is being judgmental.

[dukebound85]

Maybe does not mean certain.
Nor does usually mean certain.

you said maybe soley after my response....

meaning you feel its a mistake. if it wasnt a mistake, then why would you feel sad and bad for her concerning this situation:rolleyes:

do you see the logic?

the sole purpose of this thread is to show your disapproval of her situation. if thats not you being certain its a mistake then i dont know what is:rolleyes:

[NT1440]

Even making the suggestion is being judgmental.

So is judging that its going to be a good thing for the girl, as a matter of fact, everyones view here is based purely off their own judgements.

fancy that.

[dukebound85]

So is judging that its going to be a good thing for the girl, as a matter of fact, everyones view here is based purely off their own judgements.

fancy that.

who said it was a good thing? have you read the thread?

i am saying why automatically assume its a bad thing as the op has done. why be so judgemental of the girl's situation when we dont know her situation

the only person showing judgment on the girls situation is the op

[Prof.]

It is unfortunate that she is pregnant at only 16 years of age. I wish her, her family and her unborn baby well.

It amazes me how sexually ignorant some (not necessarily all or iParis's friend) young adults really are. For example. My friend thinks that if he masturbates two or three times b4 having sex with his girlfriend, he doesn't have to wear a condom. His reasoning? He thinks if he masturbates to the point where nothing comes out, he can not impregnate his GF. It only takes one sperm cell, dude. ;)

[EricNau]

So is judging that its going to be a good thing for the girl, as a matter of fact, everyones view here is based purely off their own judgements.

fancy that.
In what way am I, or others who share my view, judging the girl?

We're not; that's the whole point. Making any judgement, good or bad, is wrong.

It is unfortunate that she is pregnant at only 16 years of age.
Is it?

[NT1440]

In what way am I, or others who share my view, judging the girl?

We're not; that's the whole point. Making any judgement, good or bad, is wrong.


Is it?

My point was that anything we think about others is a judgement, being it a good or bad one.

[EricNau]

My point was that anything we think about others is a judgement, being it a good or bad one.
You're exactly right, which is why we shouldn't be discussing the affairs of this young lady. It's none of our business.

[iParis]

So everybody else is being judgemental by saying this is going to be a good thing?

Fine, I'll add...

If it is or isn't accidental I hope the best of luck and wish her and her baby a good life.

So is judging that its going to be a good thing for the girl, as a matter of fact, everyones view here is based purely off their own judgements.

fancy that.

So true

[rdowns]

I can't believe this thread is still ongoing. I think the kid was born already. :rolleyes:

[dukebound85]

You're exactly right, which is why we shouldn't be discussing the affairs of this young lady. It's none of our business.

nor anyone's place to say its a mistake

thats the only message i have been trying to get across to the op

[EricNau]

So everybody else is being judgemental by saying this is going to be a good thing?
That's not what we said. You shouldn't be addressing the matter in any way, good or bad.

[dukebound85]

So everybody else is being judgemental by saying this is going to be a good thing?


nobody has ever said that

our issue with you is you assuming its going to be a mistake when you dont know her situation

[Prof.]

nor anyone's place to say its a mistake.
That is very true. However, how many 16 year-olds do you know that want a baby? Personally, I can think of zero.

[Cassie]

That is very true. However, how many 16 year-olds do you know that want a baby? Personally, I can think of zero.

Though there's always an exception to the "rule".

[NT1440]

That is very true. However, how many 16 year-olds do you know that want a baby? Personally, I can think of zero.

what about those girls in massachusetts that made a pact to all get pregnant together?

[Prof.]

Though there's always an exception to the "rule".
Again, very true. With all due respect, being 15 years-old yourself, would you want a baby?
what about those girls in massachusetts that made a pact to all get pregnant together?
Like Cassie said, there's always an exception. However few that may be.

[Blue Velvet]

what about those girls in massachusetts that made a pact to all get pregnant together?


What about the truth that it was all a lie and a hoax?

Just when the dudgeon rose high over the outrage levee, along came the beleaguered mayor of her struggling city to tell a packed news conference that there was no evidence of a "blood oath" and that the high school principal had gotten a bit "foggy in his memory." Next, some of the pregnant girls spoke up and the pact fell apart at the seams. Maybe some got pregnant intentionally, maybe some bonded before or after the pregnancy test, but there was no mass plunge into motherhood. Phew.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/editorial/outlook/5861523.html

[Cassie]

Again, very true. With all due respect, being 15 years-old yourself, would you want a baby?

Personally, no, definitely not at this age. And of course, most of the girls my age will tell you the same, so I can see where you're coming from. However, it's never safe to assume anything, and people will flame you mercilessly if you assume incorrectly.

[iParis]

I'm glad people have stopped arguing about the "judgemental" thing.
It got really annoying and irrigating.
Let's stay on topic now shall we?

That is very true. However, how many 16 year-olds do you know that want a baby? Personally, I can think of zero.

This is one of the many points I was trying to get across.

[Tosser]

My point was that anything we think about others is a judgement, being it a good or bad one.

Noone said that.

You're trying to argue that just because we point out that someone is judgemental, then the opposite of what you guys say must be true in all and every case.

Btw. "Judgmental" does not simply mean to "judge" or to be able to give an informed opinion on some matter. No, it's a negative word meaning "overly critical" and inferring "condemnation"/condemning utterings or behaviour.

Once again, though, pointing out judgmental behaviour does not make the "pointer" judgemental, nor does it mean that the "pointer" must think that the condemned act/thing/person is all time greatest, as you inferred earlier.

[NT1440]

What about the truth that it was all a lie and a hoax?



http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/editorial/outlook/5861523.html

WOW, that turned out to be a lie?


Thats just bad reporting all over.

[Prof.]

This is one of the many points I was trying to get across.
I knew exactly what you meant, that's why I'm on your side. I do not see why ppl are attacking you for it either. Hell, i just asked a bunch of my GF's if they want a baby at this point in their lives (their ages range from 16-19) and all of them said "NO!"

[Blue Velvet]

WOW, that turned out to be a lie?

Read and learn. (http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2008/06/24/gloucester_fields_calls_on_teen_pregnancies/)

[NT1440]

Read and learn. (http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2008/06/24/gloucester_fields_calls_on_teen_pregnancies/)

WOW.

Well at least it made for a great episode of law & order.

[Tosser]

I knew exactly what you meant, that's why I'm on your side. I do not see why ppl are attacking you for it either. Hell, i just asked a bunch of my GF's if they want a baby at this point in their lives (their ages range from 16-19) and all of them said "NO!"

So, with an average rate of (idk exactly)3 percent teen pregnancies in the US, you just asked around among your female friends within the last couple of hours to see how many would want a kid?

I'm surprised you even try to make that method into some sort of statistical argument.

[Prof.]

So, with an average rate of (idk exactly)3 percent teen pregnancies in the US, you just asked around among your female friends within the last couple of hours to see how many would want a kid?

I'm surprised you even try to make that method into some sort of statistical argument.
I never said I'm using it as a statistical fact that represents all of the Teenage girls in the US. I'm just proving that of my GF's, none of them want a kid at this stage of their lives.

[iParis]

So, with an average rate of (idk exactly)3 percent teen pregnancies in the US, you just asked around among your female friends within the last couple of hours to see how many would want a kid?

I'm surprised you even try to make that method into some sort of statistical argument.

OK, how much of that 3% do you actually think wanted a baby?
And I have a feeling it's more than that.
Link?