What about those Brits

[diamond geezer]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/3488036.stm

Ann Winterton, 63, the MP for Congleton in Cheshire, had the party whip withdrawn over remarks made during an after-dinner speech.

Mr Howard called them and her refusal to say sorry "completely unacceptable".

Twenty migrants died after being caught by a rising tide at Morecambe Bay in Lancashire earlier this month.

Two years ago Mrs Winterton was sacked as shadow cabinet spokeswoman for agriculture for making a racist joke at a rugby club dinner.

The latest incident involved comments - about sharks and a take-away - she made at a Whitehall dinner to improve Anglo-Danish relations, attended by MPs and industry figures..

Labour MP Nick Palmer, who was at the dinner, told BBC Radio 4's Today: "People were a bit stunned really. It was a very low-key friendly dinner. I was very sorry for the host - it was just a group of people discussing Danish issues.


Real life or early monty Python?

[Krizoitz]

I need a British English to American English translation of the following terms:

Chinese cocklers
shadow cabinet
MP

Thanks !

[edesignuk]

Originally posted by Krizoitz
I need a British English to American English translation of the following terms:

Chinese cocklers
shadow cabinet
MP

Thanks !
Chinese people collecting cockles.
Shadow, meaning the conservatives are not in power, so she is the shadow to the actual "spokeswoman for agriculture" in Labour (that is in power)...I think!
Member of Parliament.

[IJ Reilly]

Originally posted by diamond geezer
Real life or early monty Python?

Definitely real life:

He said: "She simply does not learn from past mistakes. This is the second time she has made a racist, insensitive and totally unfunny remark.

Python was generally funny.

[kettle]

Originally posted by IJ Reilly
Definitely real life:



Python was generally funny.

I like to hear a joke before I make up my mind on the humour value. A funny joke is blind to artificial sensitivities of a growing number of brainwashed politically correct prisioners (this could be you).
Just because, out of respect to our fellow humans we must learn when and when not to say things, it does NOT mean that laughing at someone elses misfortune should be made illegal.
Imagine how much money the world could save if it's workers spent less time off work with stress. Can anyone tell me if we are allowed to fart in public anymore, what is that? an on the spot fine?.
If humour was used a little more, the whole ridiculous world would cost less to legislate.

Polititians do not want to be booo'd off, so I think she was wrong to say it career wise.

One thing you can be sure of is - European Fishermen who get to steal our Fishing Industry from under our very noses are laughing their flipping heads off. For thousands of years anyone living here (UK) has had to fight to keep these lands and waters for our own benefit, now any tom dick or harry can pop to brussels and get their own pound of England, except that now it will have to be Kilogrammes. Ha bloody ha.:eek:

[hardon]

i think it goes something like this ^^

two sharks are swimming in the ocean, the largest shark says to the other one, " im sick of eating fish every day".
the second remarks " yea me too, lets go to Morecambe Bay and have a chinese".

[IJ Reilly]

Ha, ha. Tears in my eyes.

To paraphrase Peter Cook and Dudley Moore (because I can't remember the exact line), "I always like a good joke once I know I've heard one."

[kettle]

Originally posted by Krizoitz
I need a British English to American English translation of the following terms:

Chinese cocklers
shadow cabinet
MP

Thanks !

I think you'll find you need an English to American English translation.

How about being a little less insensitive?
I'm not sure if I'm totally happy with the term "Brits" either.

Just "Yanking" yer chain. :D

before anyone starts on the "chain" part of the comment, it's about pulling the chain after using a lavatory to "take a piss", not a remark about historical slave trades.

mkay?

[IJ Reilly]

I don't think the expression "yanking your chain" alludes to toilet fixtures. I believe it's a reference to involuntary servitude.

In any event, I'm always happy to be called a "Yank" when I'm traveling in your land, even when it's inflected with that slight edge of distain that you Brits have down to perfection.

[mactastic]

Speaking of Python and the Chinese....

(spoken)
The world today is absolutely cracked.
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...

(singing)
I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They only come up to you knees,
Yet they're always friendly and they're ready to to please.

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
There's nine hundred million of them in the world today,
You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say.

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They come from a long way overseas,
But they're cute, and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please.

I like chinese food,
The waiters never are rude,
Think the many things they've done to impress,
There's maoism, taoism, eging and chess.

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
I like their tiny little trees,
Their zen, their ping-pong, their ying and yang-eze.

I like chinese thought,
The wisdom that Confusious taught,
If Darwin is anything to shout about,
The chinese will survive us all without any doubt.

So, I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They only come up to you knees,
Yet they're wise, and they're witty, and they're ready to please

Wo, I chumba run,
Wo, I chumba run,
Wo, I chumba run,
Ne hamma, Ne hamma, Ne hamma chi chen.

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They're food is guaranteed to please,
A fourteen, a seven, a nine and li-chese

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
I like their tiny little trees,
Their zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-eze

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
(fade out....)

[IJ Reilly]

Yellow Man

Very far away in a foreign land
Live the yellow woman and the yellow man
He's been around for many-a-year
They say they were there before we were here
Eatin' rice all day
While the children play
You see he believes
In the family
Just like you and me
Oh, yellow man, oh, yellow man
We understand, you know we understand
He keeps his money tight in his hand
With his yellow woman he's a yellow man
Got to have a yellow woman
When you're a yellow man

--Randy Newman

So, what's the difference between satire and a bad joke?

[zimv20]

Originally posted by IJ Reilly
So, what's the difference between satire and a bad joke?

the audience

[kettle]

Originally posted by IJ Reilly
I don't think the expression "yanking your chain" alludes to toilet fixtures. I believe it's a reference to involuntary servitude.

What, even when I just said it wasn't?

[Savage Henry]

Racist people in power at our beloved Houses of Parliament??!!! Never!! It's an outrageous slur!! Next you'll be saying that we are the sort of people who would bug the telephone lines belonging to the Secretary General of United Nations!

[IJ Reilly]

Originally posted by kettle
What, even when I just said it wasn't?
Apparently.

edited for source:

"YANK (SOMEONE AROUND/SOMEONE'S CHAIN) -- vb. American to mislead, deceive, harass or irrate. The image on which the expression is based is that of a chained or leashed animal or prisoner being thoughtlessly or maliciously jerked about or led in different directions..."

From "The Dictionary of Contemporary Slang" by Tony Thorne (Pantheon Books, New York, 1990; originally published in Great Britain by Bloomsbury Publishing, 1990).

[whocares]

Originally posted by kettle
One thing you can be sure of is - European Fishermen who get to steal our Fishing Industry from under our very noses are laughing their flipping heads off. For thousands of years anyone living here (UK) has had to fight to keep these lands and waters for our own benefit, now any tom dick or harry can pop to brussels and get their own pound of England, except that now it will have to be Kilogrammes. Ha bloody ha.:eek:

HmmHmmm. Isn't the UK *part* of Europe, both geographically and politically? I know many people in the UK don't agree with the EU, but you do get some advantages out of it. I think you should rephrase " (...) - French, Spanish [insert offending countries here] Fishermen who get to ...". Oh and don't flame me for this, I'm from England.

Back on topic, I think it's fine have jokes on other countries, minorities, religions, etc... as long as they are not said with any disrespect. I laugh at good jokes about the English. I also laugh at any good joke, whoever is involved.


Oh and not to start a fight, I also find "British English" to be very offensive. I understand you might have some grudge with the English (who doesn't? :p ) but you should at least have some consideration for the Welsh and the Scots who speak Welsh and Scotish. ;) The term Brits is fine with me though. "Roastbeef" and Pommey bastard is also ok, as long as I can use "froggy" and Aussie bastard :D

[kettle]

Originally posted by whocares
HmmHmmm. Isn't the UK *part* of Europe, both geographically and politically?
Only to those it suits. You will have to get your feet very wet to get to Europe from the U.K. Europe to Asia to Africa will keep your toes nicely dry. Politically, the U.K. has its own currency and controls its own taxes. Until the day someone sells our sovereignty to the Socialist Superstate system that is Europe, the UK only has to worry about the cost of subsidising a huge pile of festering bureaucracy that continues to go on unchecked.
I know many people in the UK don't agree with the EU, but you do get some advantages out of it.
Please name them, reminding me why these could be considered value for money.
I think you should rephrase " (...) - French, Spanish [insert offending countries here] Fishermen who get to ...". Oh and don't flame me for this, I'm from England.
I think you may find an AtoZ of Hell very useful about now.
Back on topic, I think it's fine have jokes on other countries, minorities, religions, etc... as long as they are not said with any disrespect. I laugh at good jokes about the English. I also laugh at any good joke, whoever is involved.
"as long as they are not said with any disrespect." You didn't say you were a politician. Isn't that double speak? Tell me a religious joke that isn't disrespectful.
Oh and not to start a fight, I also find "British English" to be very offensive. I understand you might have some grudge with the English (who doesn't? :p )
I don't, so you misunderstood that I might.
but you should at least have some consideration for the Welsh and the Scots who speak Welsh and Scotish. ;)
consideration for what? That they have the same 5 terestrial tv channels as England but can't understand them because they only understand Gaelic and Welsh? Get out of it.
The term Brits is fine with me though. "Roastbeef" and Pommey bastard is also ok, as long as I can use "froggy" and Aussie bastard :D just don't let the P.C. fascists catch you thinking out of line, you'll end up with an on the spot fine to fund their habit.

[kettle]

Originally posted by IJ Reilly
Apparently.

edited for source:

"YANK (SOMEONE AROUND/SOMEONE'S CHAIN) -- vb. American to mislead, deceive, harass or irrate. The image on which the expression is based is that of a chained or leashed animal or prisoner being thoughtlessly or maliciously jerked about or led in different directions..."

From "The Dictionary of Contemporary Slang" by Tony Thorne (Pantheon Books, New York, 1990; originally published in Great Britain by Bloomsbury Publishing, 1990).

I suppose, ignoring the fact that I clearly explained the meaning of my remark in my original post.
I also suppose your quote from the Dictionary will explain why this term is solely used in the context of "involuntary servitude" as a opposed to areas like punishment or domestication.

If you wish to interpret the comment using a slavery spin, I will just have to assume you like sticking "Kick Me" on your own arse.:)

[IJ Reilly]

Originally posted by kettle
I suppose, ignoring the fact that I clearly explained the meaning of my remark in my original post.
I also suppose your quote from the Dictionary will explain why this term is solely used in the context of "involuntary servitude" as a opposed to areas like punishment or domestication.

If you wish to interpret the comment using a slavery spin, I will just have to assume you like sticking "Kick Me" on your own arse.:)

I'm sorry, this reply make no sense, even as an insult.

[whocares]

Originally posted by kettle
Only to those it suits. You will have to get your feet very wet to get to Europe from the U.K. Europe to Asia to Africa will keep your toes nicely dry. Politically, the U.K. has its own currency and controls its own taxes. Until the day someone sells our sovereignty to the Socialist Superstate system that is Europe, the UK only has to worry about the cost of subsidising a huge pile of festering bureaucracy that continues to go on unchecked.

Please name them, reminding me why these could be considered value for money.

I think you may find an AtoZ of Hell very useful about now.

"as long as they are not said with any disrespect." You didn't say you were a politician. Isn't that double speak? Tell me a religious joke that isn't disrespectful.

I don't, so you misunderstood that I might.

consideration for what? That they have the same 5 terestrial tv channels as England but can't understand them because they only understand Gaelic and Welsh? Get out of it.
just don't let the P.C. fascists catch you thinking out of line, you'll end up with an on the spot fine to fund their habit.

Boy is there a lot of hate in that answer! :eek:

First if the UK isn't part of Europe, what it is part of? North America? The USA? And please don't say it's a continent in its own right, queen Victoria is dead, so is the British Empire and we should all be ashamed of our recent past.

Advantages of Europe? How about the free market that most British would like to reduce Europe down to. Though this mpay be more debatle, agricultural subventions. I would also like to remind people that the UK gets a *massive* reduction on the dues it pays to Europe, and has ever since day one. Face it, with out Europe, the UK would either be non existent by now or the 52nd state of the USA (well IMHO it's already the 51.5).

As for jokes about religion, or anything else, yes I know a few and no I won't give examples because I know some people here won't like it. Not everybody is good with auto-derision. And that's ok. Asking who doesn't have a grudge against the Brits was merely an example of auto-derision, and I can ensure you that many people do have grudges against us. Try talking to some people in the ex-colonies; when speaking to them, choose your words *very* carefully.

And as for the Welsh and Scots (do I sense you don't like them?), it was merely to point out that there is no such thing as British English. He should have stated "English English" but that sounds plain stupid. You should go ask some Welsh and Scotsmen what they think about have English TV, no (or very few) of Scotsmen and Welsh represented at the BBC and about how they feel about being bullied around by the English for so long.

And as for PC fascists? I don't give a *******. Sure I'm in the States right and watch what I say; it's their country and I should respect their ways. But when I'm in France or England? I'll use just about any expression I want.

I rarely post in the political forums because people take stuff too seriously.


And for that joke about the chineese, I found it to be very funny. I would have also found it funnt if 60 Englishmen drowned in Morecombe bay and the punch line was " (...) why don't we have some roastbeef for lunch?".

[IJ Reilly]

Originally posted by whocares
I rarely post in the political forums because people take stuff too seriously.

Well I don't know about that. I've never seen kettle post here before and it seems like he's the one who's getting on his high horse over this essentially trivial topic. I'm a regular in the forum and I'm taking it pretty lightly, or so I thought would be apparent.

Incidentally, linguists would not agree with you on your characterization of "British English." This is a recognized dialect, as is "American English." I don't know how the Scots, the Welsh, the Irish, the Cornish or anyone else of Celtic origins feels about being described as a "British English" speaker, but that's what they'd probably be called by a linguist.

[whocares]

Originally posted by IJ Reilly
Incidentally, linguists would not agree with you on your characterization of "British English." This is a recognized dialect, as is "American English." I don't know how the Scots, the Welsh, the Irish, the Cornish or anyone else of Celtic origins feels about being described as a "British English" speaker, but that's what they'd probably be called by a linguist.

That's a good point and is most likely true. However just because linguits use it, doesn't make true ;) :p
Do you think we should refer to Canadian French as opposed to French French? :p :p :p

But you're right, compared to many other things that happen on this planet, it's quite trivial...

[JamesDPS]

Hey reilly are British English and "Queen's English" pretty much the same thing? Seriously, I don't know what the definitions are (linguistically speaking). I know there are a multitude of dialects in England -- I lived in Devon (SW England) for 8 years and after that still have plenty of trouble understanding dialects from, for example, some parts of Yorkshire.

How come no one commented on the "festering... beaurocracy" remark? Did that come from an American talking about some OTHER country?

I believe the beaurocracy in this country (USA) is one of its main problems, especially in areas such as healthcare and education (and, of course, the taxation system). My g/f is currently getting her teaching credential in California and the political hoops she has to jump through for no good reason whatsoever would blow most people's minds. And in healthcare, a recent Harvard study (someone find the link for me I'm lazy!) found that if the US were to provide national healthcare to all citizens (like the NHS) and do away with HMOs, something along the lines of $80 billion per year would be SAVED because of the reduction in beaurocratic expenses.

Wow that has nothing to do with this thread whatsoever... time to go start a new thread!

[IJ Reilly]

Originally posted by whocares
That's a good point and is most likely true. However just because linguits use it, doesn't make true

Well you know how tricky those linguists can be. You might even call them cunning linguists.

:eek:

[3rdpath]

Originally posted by IJ Reilly
Well you know how tricky those linguists can be. You might even call them cunning linguists.

:eek:

rimshot....

let's hear it for IJ ladies and gentlemen....he'll be here all week.

he just flew in from the coast and boy are his arms tired...

be sure and try the veal and don't forget to tip those waitresses, they're working hard for ya...:D

[kettle]

Originally posted by IJ Reilly
I'm sorry, this reply make no sense, even as an insult.

Read it again or have you run out of lighthearted wit?

It means, I can see your dictionary post has a point to make, but it only makes your own point and ignores other realistic alternatives. Your own suggestion of "involuntary servitude" was selected over other purposeful uses for chained restraint such as inprionment/punishment or domestication.

It also points out that your introduction of the term "involuntary servitude" to the discussion was in response to my post stating that my use of the term Yanking your Chain was NOT to be interpreted as a reference to slavery.

Do you give up yet?:)

Finally, the closing comment - If you like to start arguements over points that were never made, then you would probably enjoy walking around with "kick me" pinned on your back.

[kettle]

Originally posted by whocares
Boy is there a lot of hate in that answer! :eek:

First if the UK isn't part of Europe, what it is part of? North America? The USA? And please don't say it's a continent in its own right, queen Victoria is dead, so is the British Empire and we should all be ashamed of our recent past.

Advantages of Europe? How about the free market that most British would like to reduce Europe down to. Though this mpay be more debatle, agricultural subventions. I would also like to remind people that the UK gets a *massive* reduction on the dues it pays to Europe, and has ever since day one. Face it, with out Europe, the UK would either be non existent by now or the 52nd state of the USA (well IMHO it's already the 51.5).

As for jokes about religion, or anything else, yes I know a few and no I won't give examples because I know some people here won't like it. Not everybody is good with auto-derision. And that's ok. Asking who doesn't have a grudge against the Brits was merely an example of auto-derision, and I can ensure you that many people do have grudges against us. Try talking to some people in the ex-colonies; when speaking to them, choose your words *very* carefully.

And as for the Welsh and Scots (do I sense you don't like them?), it was merely to point out that there is no such thing as British English. He should have stated "English English" but that sounds plain stupid. You should go ask some Welsh and Scotsmen what they think about have English TV, no (or very few) of Scotsmen and Welsh represented at the BBC and about how they feel about being bullied around by the English for so long.

And as for PC fascists? I don't give a *******. Sure I'm in the States right and watch what I say; it's their country and I should respect their ways. But when I'm in France or England? I'll use just about any expression I want.

I rarely post in the political forums because people take stuff too seriously.


And for that joke about the chineese, I found it to be very funny. I would have also found it funnt if 60 Englishmen drowned in Morecombe bay and the punch line was " (...) why don't we have some roastbeef for lunch?".

1. The British Isles.
"we should all be ashamed of our recent past." Please tell me why you should be ashamed of just your recent past, shouldn't we all feel ashamed for every human that has wronged another human?
Are you happy with this Guilt factor as a control system for the human race? All the sucessful religons use guilt to keep their humans locked up.
2.Europe. I should check your sums and then wonder about the difference between a "free Market" and a "Level playing Field".
Do you know where Switzerland is? The answer is it doesn't matter where it is, it will still be in the same place whatever Europe does. The United States of Europe will not stop trading with any country just because it's not in the EU.
3.Many people have many grudges against many other people. Identify the data sets you need to prove whichever point you would like to make. Isn't sudo science fun.
4.I have grudges against individuals of many nationalities. If you are trying to call me racist you'd be a point scoring fool. I was born this side of the Severn, so I'm English, other relatives were born in Dyffed and are Welsh, others in Shetland and would be assumed to be Scottish. When speaking English they all speak English to the best of their abilities, not Welsh-English or Scottish-English. American is technically a less accurate form of English.
5. The "Political Discussions & War Discussion" Forum was set up so people could rant here without effecting the content of other more useful forums. If you don't like it when people don't share your own opinion, this is probably not going to be much fun.

[kettle]

Originally posted by IJ Reilly
Well I don't know about that. I've never seen kettle post here before and it seems like he's the one who's getting on his high horse over this essentially trivial topic. I'm a regular in the forum and I'm taking it pretty lightly, or so I thought would be apparent.

Incidentally, linguists would not agree with you on your characterization of "British English." This is a recognized dialect, as is "American English." I don't know how the Scots, the Welsh, the Irish, the Cornish or anyone else of Celtic origins feels about being described as a "British English" speaker, but that's what they'd probably be called by a linguist.

that's a good idea, If you can't think of a good point, you could always de-value my opinion by pretending that if I'm not "regular". Burnt any witches lately?

So you think that there can't possibly be anyone born in The British Isles of non "Celtic":rolleyes: origin, unless they are born in England.

Isn't it strange how Celtic people always mate with Celtic people and never move house... ...and have kept that up for thousands of years.:)

lighthearted enough yet.

talking of "taking it pretty lightly" didn't IJ Reilly state that the shark joke couldn't be funny on the grounds that it was insensitive? Using the lever "Python is generally funny"

I'm in defence of humour. I find it funny how people get so upset when they are forcibly reminded how deeply the English have shaped the world.

Time to swot up on yer Grammar everyone!
Do they have grammer in America?:)

[IJ Reilly]

Yawwwwwn.

[whocares]

Yada yada yada.....:rolleyes:

This is getting boring.

[kettle]

Well I'm sorry you don't want to play anymore. With a little more practice you could be worthy opponents. No hard feelings and I'll try to get a more durable performance from you on a different thread. Thanks again guys :)
'twas only a flesh wound.

[amnesiac1984]

Well I'm sorry you don't want to play anymore. With a little more practice you could be worthy opponents. No hard feelings and I'll try to get a more durable performance from you on a different thread. Thanks again guys :)
'twas only a flesh wound.

you may feel like you WON this little mini debate, but frankly I've read through it and it kinda left me feeling a little bemused. There's no point going round out smarting everyone, who does that help? Yourself maybe, but what happens when you've outsmarted everyone? Not many friends left, it is not wise to try to appear cleverer than everyone else, even if you are.

[whocares]

Well I'm sorry you don't want to play anymore. With a little more practice you could be worthy opponents. No hard feelings and I'll try to get a more durable performance from you on a different thread. Thanks again guys :)
'twas only a flesh wound.

No hard feelings at all, obviously...

I just felt we were not going to get anywhere good, so I decided to withdraw. I don't however feel out smarted, and will be looking for you I other threads. You've been warned, go prepare your flame resistant suit ;) :p

[pseudobrit]

Time to swot up on yer Grammar everyone!
Do they have grammer in America?:)

'course not. They have spelling in England?

[diamond geezer]

Geez, when i started this thread i never expected the spanish inquisition!

:D

[kettle]

oh please lighten up.
It's about being there for people to rebound from, it's not about being cleverer or making or losing friends, it's about making a bigger bounce, the potential energy in a situation.

Would you prefer I just added another dullard remark like " what a bad lady, surely she must know it's bad to make inappropriate comments when you are a public figure?"

How was that?
Can we all be friends now?
Come on give me your best shot!
you know it will be fun. :D

This is the correct room for an argument? :confused:

[kettle]

wondering if you wanted this...
thought it would do the job ok.
doesn't mean I'm chickening out or anything, just thought you might want to carry some colours to battle :)

[amnesiac1984]

oh please lighten up.
It's about being there for people to rebound from, it's not about being cleverer or making or losing friends, it's about making a bigger bounce, the potential energy in a situation.

Would you prefer I just added another dullard remark like " what a bad lady, surely she must know it's bad to make inappropriate comments when you are a public figure?"

How was that?
Can we all be friends now?
Come on give me your best shot!
you know it will be fun. :D

This is the correct room for an argument? :confused:

whatever, I don't think what you were doing was being there to rebound off, you were just being argumentative for the sake of it, moving the argument around so that there was more to argue about when it really wasn't going anywhere worth arguing about.

[kettle]

whatever, I don't think what you were doing was being there to rebound off, you were just being argumentative for the sake of it, moving the argument around so that there was more to argue about when it really wasn't going anywhere worth arguing about.

Stuff it.
The joke was funny.
The politician was stupid.
What else was to be deduced from such a non story?
You're being too self righteous to be true and have finally killed off the thread for real. Hope you had as much fun as I WAS having. Why don't you go and educate some other threads with yer newly aquired wisdom. I'm going to enjoy myself elsewhere.
ttfn Chum.
and for the record - "you were just being argumentative for the sake of it" TOO!

[Krizoitz]

And as for the Welsh and Scots (do I sense you don't like them?), it was merely to point out that there is no such thing as British English. He should have stated "English English" but that sounds plain stupid. You should go ask some Welsh and Scotsmen what they think about have English TV, no (or very few) of Scotsmen and Welsh represented at the BBC and about how they feel about being bullied around by the English for so long.


British English = dialect of English spoken in Great Britain
American English = dialect of English spoken in America
Australian English = dialect of English spoken in Australia

Does that mean everyone in Britain, American, and Australia only speaks English? NO.

Does that mean that there aren't further SUB-dialects? NO. Heck I have trouble understanding people from the deep south here in the states (Mississipi, Georgia, Alabama, etc.)

BTW telling me that I'm wrong about the use of British English as a term to describe English used in England, is like telling a doctor that the using the term "varicela" is wrong and they shold use the common term "chickenpox" instead. Whether or not you think it should be refered to that way is irrelavent, that IS the way not only linguist refer to it, but buisnesses as well.

Oh, and if you don't want people to take things seriously, try not to insult them.

[Krizoitz]

Tell me a religious joke that isn't disrespectful.


One day the Pope's assitant comes running into his office.

"Your excellency, your excellency, I have some good news and some bad news!"

"Well my son," the Pope says "what is the news"

"Jesus is on the phone! He's come back! It's the second coming!" the assitant replied.

"That is wonderful news!" the Pope replied "What could possibly be the bad news?"

"He's calling from Salt Lake City"

-------

For those unfamiliar with it Salt Lake City, Utah, USA is the headquarters of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons)

-------

As I Catholic I found this joke absolutely hilarious and in no way disrespectful to either religion. Oh I'm sure someone could take offense at it, but it has been my experience that people will find anything offensive if they want to.

[kettle]

As I Catholic I found this joke absolutely hilarious and in no way disrespectful to either religion. Oh I'm sure someone could take offense at it, but it has been my experience that people will find anything offensive if they want to.

That really is the point. :) Not very suprising to find that most people caught out by inappropriate use of humour are usually caught doing it where most political or religious ground can be gained by the group calling the offence. Where as the person who uses the joke is usually genuinely being inappropriate and publicly suicidal with their career, rather than trying to deliberately gain attention for their own opinions.

The funniest thing is that this politician, and repeat offender, actually seems to be too stupid to stop herself. :D

[whocares]

British English = dialect of English spoken in Great Britain
American English = dialect of English spoken in America
Australian English = dialect of English spoken in Australia


Well, excuse me for being English, but I feel that what we speak in England is just plain English. If you guys want to feel you're just spaeking plain English in the USA, that's fine too :p

I think we should argue about much more important issues: is it the English or the Americans than speak English with an accent? :confused: ;) :p :p

[Krizoitz]

Well, excuse me for being English, but I feel that what we speak in England is just plain English. If you guys want to feel you're just spaeking plain English in the USA, that's fine too :p

I think we should argue about much more important issues: is it the English or the Americans than speak English with an accent? :confused: ;) :p :p

Well you feel wrong. This isn't something you cna decide via opinion, its a linguistic fact. Neither British English nor American English are the same as Old English anymore both have diverged. How would you like it if someone who was Catholic started calling your religion (for the sake of argument Anglican) British Christianity and Catholicism was plain Christianity?

We are talking about two full languages here that share a common background. Neither is more correct than the other, anymore than Castillian Spanish is more correct than Mexican Spanish.

If we REALLY want to get picky we shouldn't call it English but "That language that you stole and brutalized for the Germans", which technically is historically acurate as well. This isn't some fight over which came first, its about linguistic differences.

Heck the whole reason I replied to this thread in the first place was because I didn't understand some things in the article and wanted to. I could have been rude and told the poster something about posting in American English cause this is an American site, but believe it or not that arrogant stereo-type is just that a stereo-type. Instead I try to learn something new and be culturally sensitive and STILL people have to be anal-retentive about it. Fortunately most of your countrymen appear to be more civil and before I was harangued for using the linguistically correct term I actually had someone politely explain the words in question to me. You should go back to the beggining and read the first few posts to see how people interact when they aren't trying to start a fight.

[whocares]

Well you feel wrong. This isn't something you cna decide via opinion, its a linguistic fact. Neither British English nor American English are the same as Old English anymore both have diverged. How would you like it if someone who was Catholic started calling your religion (for the sake of argument Anglican) British Christianity and Catholicism was plain Christianity?
(...)
You should go back to the beggining and read the first few posts to see how people interact when they aren't trying to start a fight.

I'm sorry if you feel that I was trying to pick a fight, I wasn't. My last post was intended on a humerous note, but obviosuly smillies don't convey emotions as well as tone of voice...

And thanks, that is the only valid argument I've heard so far (the 'Old English' argument). And per my feelings, who are you to decide what's wrong and what isn't? <--- Humour/Humor, don't flame :p

[IJ Reilly]

A good book on the subject of English and its variants: "The Story of English" by Robert McNeal. This was also a series on PBS about ten years ago.

Speaking of good books, here's another non-offensive religious joke:

Most people don't know it, but the pope likes to drive, though he doesn't get many opportunities. So on one recent trip the US, while he was being driven in his limousine down a remote desert roadway in Arizona, he asked his chauffeur to pull over and allow him to drive for awhile. That's fine with the chauffeur, so they switch places.

Minutes later, a red light appears in the rear window of the limousine. The pope pulls over and the cop walks up alongside the car. The window rolls down, and the cop freezes and then retreats towards his patrol car. He calls headquarters on the radio.

"You'll never guess who I just caught speeding. He's a really important guy and I'm not sure what I should do."

"Is it the governor?"

"No, more important then that."

"The president?"

"No, even more important then that!"

"Well, then who is it??"

"I'm not sure, but the pope is his chauffeur!"