Macs & Comedians

[eyelikeart]

ok...so it's not really about Macs & comedians...but comedians are good right?

I'm gonna start it off with a quote from the ever-cynical Dennis Leary...

"We live in a country where John Lennon takes 6 bullets in the chest...Yoko Ono was standing right next to him...not 1 f***king bullet!!" :eek: :D

[Taft]

Only one comedian could possibly be at the top of my list.


Brian Regan!!!!!

By far the best comedian I have ever heard in my life. If you want to laugh your rear off, pick up his CD, Brian Regan Live.

Taft

[Durandal7]

-

[King Cobra]

Here is one I kind of thought up myself, well, a little Millionaire. It's a bit long.

So there is this woman with a hearing impairment watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and playing Poker with her husband, a mob guy, at a pub. So the two are playing a game of 5-Card Stud High-Lo, where a high or low hand wins the game. The husband is trying to get her attention to deal the cards while she is trying to listen to Millionaire. Eventually, after he repeats himself about 4 times the wife deals the cards. She yells really loud "SHOULD I DEAL ANOTHER?" The husband keeps trying to tell her to keep dealing the cards for each ante. But after each ante she keeps yelling really loud, asking if she should deals another. The whole room becomes silent, as everyone is looking at her. The only thing making noise is the TV with Millionaire. Eventually, after the two ante for the last time the husband shows what he has. "Straight: Ace, 2, 3, 4, 5." The wife looks at him a little confused and asks him: "IS THAT YOUR HIGH-LO HAND, SIR?" :D

Again, that was purely made up. Although if it wasn't for Regis this joke wouldn't be here.
__________________

Fear the King.

[teabgs]

What about Eye....he said he didnt care about post count..HAHAHAHAHAA
;)

that's pretty funny right?

*crickets*

guys?

:(

It's kinda funny?


:(

[spuncan]

Probably my fav. is Chris Rock, Denis Leary, or Matt Groening and his writers.
The best was the simpsons episode where homer becomes a child care person. Ned is going out to a "Chirstian Rock Concert" when he comes back he says "Well I've never heard a preacher use that many explitives during a hymn" Those of u who didn't see it Ned went to a Chris Rock concert that he mistook for Christian Rock.

[Royal Pineapple]

"Oh beautiful, for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
for strip-mined mountans majesty,
above the asphalt plains.
Americia, Americia, man sheds his waste on thee,
and hides the pines, with bilbord signs,
from ses to oily sea"

[kishba]

Originally posted by King Cobra
Here is one I kind of thought up myself, well, a little Millionaire. It's a bit long.

So there is this woman with a hearing impairment watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and playing Poker with her husband, a mob guy, at a pub. So the two are playing a game of 5-Card Stud High-Lo, where a high or low hand wins the game. The husband is trying to get her attention to deal the cards while she is trying to listen to Millionaire. Eventually, after he repeats himself about 4 times the wife deals the cards. She yells really loud "SHOULD I DEAL ANOTHER?" The husband keeps trying to tell her to keep dealing the cards for each ante. But after each ante she keeps yelling really loud, asking if she should deals another. The whole room becomes silent, as everyone is looking at her. The only thing making noise is the TV with Millionaire. Eventually, after the two ante for the last time the husband shows what he has. "Straight: Ace, 2, 3, 4, 5." The wife looks at him a little confused and asks him: "IS THAT YOUR HIGH-LO HAND, SIR?" :D

Again, that was purely made up. Although if it wasn't for Regis this joke wouldn't be here.
__________________

Fear the King.


huh?

ps: i think teabgs should be the DGVPG Comedian :)

[Royal Pineapple]

Originally posted by eyelikeart
ok...so it's not really about Macs & comedians...but comedians are good right?

I'm gonna start it off with a quote from the ever-cynical Dennis Leary...

"We live in a country where John Lennon takes 6 bullets in the chest...Yoko Ono was standing right next to him...not 1 f***king bullet!!" :eek: :D
why god why? now we have to put up with another twenty f***ing years of aaahhhhh

[Mr. Anderson]

I'm quite partial to Monty Python, actually. Just bought Life Of Brian on DVD

People's Front for Judea? No the Judean People's Front....

Quotes from there movies and skits are almost endless.

[teabgs]

Originally posted by kishba



huh?

ps: i think teabgs should be the DGVPG Comedian :)

The end rhymes with "is that your final answer"....:rolleyes:

hmmm....I've always wanted to do standup
NOOCH

[eyelikeart]

Originally posted by teabgs
What about Eye....he said he didnt care about post count..HAHAHAHAHAA
;)

that's pretty funny right?

*crickets*

guys?

:(

It's kinda funny?


:(

teabgs gets tomatoes & trash thrown at him....he's booed off the stage... ;)

[irmongoose]

GEORGE CARLIN ALL THE WAY BABY!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D






irmongoose

[teabgs]

Originally posted by eyelikeart


teabgs gets tomatoes & trash thrown at him....he's booed off the stage... ;)

are the tomatoes ripe? cause if they are at least I can make a mean marinara!

bring it on brotha man! NOOCH
;)

[kishba]

Originally posted by teabgs


are the tomatoes ripe? cause if they are at least I can make a mean marinara!

bring it on brotha man! NOOCH
;)

i can sense right now that eye will regret he EVER posted this thread... along with everyone else on macrumors

[teabgs]

Originally posted by kishba


i can sense right now that eye will regret he EVER posted this thread... along with everyone else on macrumors

you want some too? Cause I'll send winky after you....


IF you wanna play nice the sauce is almost ready and I'm gonna put some spagetti up....

after the shower that is...time to clean my arse and scrub my pits

:D

NOOCH

[kishba]

i think i'll throw other vegetables at teabgs instead... perhaps spinach.... ha! make a joke out of that one...

err scratch that... popeye is just too obvious...

how about carrots? or onions? or lima beans?

[eyelikeart]

Originally posted by teabgs


are the tomatoes ripe? cause if they are at least I can make a mean marinara!NOOCH
;)

nope...rotten...soft...nasty...smelly...

only the best for u teabgs...he he he ;)

[eyelikeart]

Originally posted by kishba


i can sense right now that eye will regret he EVER posted this thread... along with everyone else on macrumors

I think this one has the potential to be a long-running thread...

and if everyone doesn't post in it...I'll sling poop on them all!!! :D :eek:

[teabgs]

Originally posted by kishba
i think i'll throw other vegetables at teabgs instead... perhaps spinach.... ha! make a joke out of that one...

err scratch that... popeye is just too obvious...

how about carrots? or onions? or lima beans?

Well the onions go in the sauce with the nasty rancid tomatoes (thanx eye) ;)

The carrots i'll eat to improve my eyesight...
maybe no more glasses for reading?

And as for the lima beans....those are yucky. and poo flingin is just around the corner if you stay all up on my grill with those things...

[Royal Pineapple]

Originally posted by irmongoose
GEORGE CARLIN ALL THE WAY BABY!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
irmongoose
im glad you aggree. carlin is briliant, a genius, a prophet, a man before his time.

[Rower_CPU]

Carlin, Rock...Monty Python.

I'll bring up Jack Black as well, though I'm not sure many of you will agree...:D

[Durandal7]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU
Carlin, Rock...Monty Python.

I'll bring up Jack Black as well, though I'm not sure many of you will agree...:D

Jack Black is pretty funny. Monty Python rules though
The Holy Handgrenade of Antioch!!

[Royal Pineapple]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU
Carlin, Rock...Monty Python.

I'll bring up Jack Black as well, though I'm not sure many of you will agree...:D
jack black is another good one. also Robin Williams had some good earlyer stuff and so did Steve Martin. some of Bill Crosby's work is good too.

[teabgs]

Jack black in the context of Tenacious D is Fu¢in awesome!


as an actor he's so damn funny too...but with the band, genius....

I've been listening to "the d" for 2 years now....way before their album...

[agreenster]

What about Gallagher? (I hate his watermelon smashing bit that made him famous) but his actual comedy is pretty d*mned funny. Chris Rocks old stuff is good where he always talks about n*ggers. I love Bill Cosby, especially his old stand up stuff where Bill recounts as a child he thought his name was Jesus Christ because his dad always said "Jesuuuuuus CHRIST, sit down and shut up!" etc etc....

Plus, I just saw a short film titled 'Thumb Wars' which pokes fun at Star Wars. I laughed so hard I cried. Hence my new signature....

[teabgs]

Originally posted by agreenster
What about Gallagher? (I hate his watermelon smashing bit that made him famous) but his actual comedy is pretty d*mned funny. Chris Rocks old stuff is good where he always talks about n*ggers. I love Bill Cosby, especially his old stand up stuff where Bill recounts as a child he thought his name was Jesus Christ because his dad always said "Jesuuuuuus CHRIST, sit down and shut up!" etc etc....

Plus, I just saw a short film titled 'Thumb Wars' which pokes fun at Star Wars. I laughed so hard I cried. Hence my new signature....


do you have a link?

Also, gallagher is pretty damn funny...I love his stuff

NOOCH

[agreenster]

No, a friend of mine had it on DVD....But Ill look for it and see if there are any clips online...its priceless stuff

[Rower_CPU]

Originally posted by teabgs
Jack black in the context of Tenacious D is Fu¢in awesome!


as an actor he's so damn funny too...but with the band, genius....

I've been listening to "the d" for 2 years now....way before their album...

F'in' A man...I didn't kow you were a D fan!!!:eek:

I've been into them for about a year, since they showed up on SNL...

Their album friggin' rocks!!!

I'm even trying to turn jello onto them, but he doesn't like the swearing.:D


Steve Martin and Robin Williams are "Gods of Comedy".

[agreenster]

Check out www.thumb.com The only clips they have are windows media and real player. :(

Anyway, I know, it looks cheesy, but let me tell you, it is funny sh*t. They actually did a pretty good job making it too.

[teabgs]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU


F'in' A man...I didn't kow you were a D fan!!!:eek:

I've been into them for about a year, since they showed up on SNL...

Their album friggin' rocks!!!

I'm even trying to turn jello onto them, but he doesn't like the swearing.:D


Steve Martin and Robin Williams are "Gods of Comedy".

Dude, I pre-ordered their album ...it came with a "tenacious D sock...that's right, just one...cause that's all you need!"

I saw them play 2wice now..once at a concert 3 months before the album came out and noone knew who they were and then after the album @ Tower in NYC for free :D

[Rower_CPU]

Originally posted by teabgs
Dude, I pre-ordered their album ...it came with a "tenacious D sock...that's right, just one...cause that's all you need!"

I saw them play 2wice now..once at a concert 3 months before the album came out and noone knew who they were and then after the album @ Tower in NYC for free :D

Bad ass!!

I was hoping they would come through SD on their last tour, but no luck.:(

Right now they're touring international right? Lucky foreigners...

[teabgs]

dude, the first time I saw them (festival) Dave Grohl played drums for them on a few songs.....though its different then what ended up on the album.


What your fav "D" song?

Mines "F*¢l you gently" 2nd is "Sex Supreme"

NOOCH

[agreenster]

"F*** You Gently" has a relly cool music video, and I assume you've seen it. Its all animated--its really funny

[teabgs]

OH MY F****N GOD

I'm watching bioDome right now....


well anyway, Tenacious D are in it....I look over when the girls' r at the party and the hippies singing w/ acoustuc guitars singin about how they want ot save trees is Jack Black And Kyle Gass...WOW!!!!!!


that's sooooo awesome....they must have been planning the whole D thing for some time since Bio Dome is early 90's.....

[Royal Pineapple]

Originally posted by teabgs
dude, the first time I saw them (festival) Dave Grohl played drums for them on a few songs.....though its different then what ended up on the album.


What your fav "D" song?

Mines "F*¢l you gently" 2nd is "Sex Supreme"

NOOCH
i like F*¢k you gently and Kielbasa sasauge

[Nipsy]

Originally posted by teabgs
OH MY F****N GOD

I'm watching bioDome right now....


well anyway, Tenacious D are in it....I look over when the girls' r at the party and the hippies singing w/ acoustuc guitars singin about how they want ot save trees is Jack Black And Kyle Gass...WOW!!!!!!


that's sooooo awesome....they must have been planning the whole D thing for some time since Bio Dome is early 90's.....

While that is a good catch, it is forever tarnished by:
"I'm watching bioDome right now...."

[Rower_CPU]

Originally posted by teabgs
dude, the first time I saw them (festival) Dave Grohl played drums for them on a few songs.....though its different then what ended up on the album.


What your fav "D" song?

Mines "F*¢l you gently" 2nd is "Sex Supreme"

NOOCH

F you Gently is definitely great...so's Sex Supreme

Tribute is awesome, musically

My absolute favorite is called "Bowie", or something like it. I've only heard them perform it once, it's an all vocal round...sounds awesome. Do you know the one I'm talking about?

[Royal Pineapple]

i love NyQuil i even love the spelling of it, big "N", little "y" huge fu¢king "Q"
Oh NyQuil NyQuil NQuil, we love you, you giant fu¢king "Q"
:D :D :D :D

[Beej]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU
Right now they're touring international right? Lucky foreigners... They were in Melbourne a couple of weeks ago :)


I just grabbed some of their MP3s... 'spiderman' is a pisser!

[Rower_CPU]

Originally posted by Beej
They were in Melbourne a couple of weeks ago :)


I just grabbed some of their MP3s... 'spiderman' is a pisser!


Word...that song always cracks me up...

Sassafrasquatch!

[jelloshotsrule]

the early part of the thread explains much of why eye and tsac are a bit.... close.

anyways, great comedians, dead and alive are:

chris farley, phil hartman, cosby, john candy, steve martin...

jack black is the funniest straight up comedy actor as of late.... though as row-dog said, i think the sexual and cursing humor of most of the tenacious d songs is just cheap and i feel he could do much better.. as he does in movies.

ben stiller's great.

owen and luke wilson, but they are a bit more subtle.... owen is the funniest because of that though.. word.

[eyelikeart]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
the early part of the thread explains much of why eye and tsac are a bit.... close.

damn...was it that obvious?! :rolleyes: