Is it possible to kiss a woman while..um.."at attention"

[foidulus]

without her noticing? I was kissing my new girlfriend for the first time and um, my soldier kind of just decided to stand up. It was quite obvious she could tell(and later said she didn't mind), but rather embarrassing. Guys, has this ever happened to you? How can you stop her from noticing(if at all possible)

Ladies, what do you think when this happens to you?

[ZiggyPastorius]

without her noticing? I was kissing my new girlfriend for the first time and um, my soldier kind of just decided to stand up. It was quite obvious she could tell(and later said she didn't mind), but rather embarrassing. Guys, has this ever happened to you? How can you stop her from noticing(if at all possible)

Ladies, what do you think when this happens to you?

Hm. Interesting. I don't think I've ever had a problem with this, nor have I ever been too concerned.

[Applespider]

Generally, it's flattering :D

[GimmeSlack12]

I find this topic quite distasteful. OP, live and learn if you want an answer.

[Abstract]

I just smile and give her a dirty wink. It may give her the creeps, but eventually, they get used to my creepiness and just go along with it.

[és:]

I wouldn't worry too much. I don't know how old you are or how far you're going but if you're going to go further than just kissing then it's not a bad thing at all.

Even if you're not, then don't get freaked by it. The more you do it the more used to it you'll become.

[jessica.]

I find this topic quite distasteful. OP, live and learn if you want an answer.

While I find it humorous that people will come here asking for medical advice, love advice, and now boner advice ... I think if there are topics you find distasteful then do not read and do not reply. It is not as though the subject of this topic was at all vague unlike most topics.

To the OP, don't kiss girls you'll get mono ... or married ... which is like mono without all the sleeping.

[macthegreat]

Nothing wrong with that, she'll be flattered.

[floyde]

I was kissing my new girlfriend for the first time and um, my soldier kind of just decided to stand up.

Well your soldier is trained to do that, so it's really not your fault if he appears to have a mind of his own :p. Your girlfriend should at the very least be understanding about it. Now, if it were just a girl "friend" who you were kissing goodbye on the cheek, that would be kind of creepy.

I think if there are topics you find distasteful then do not read and do not reply.

+3

[Abstract]

I say just get close and poke her thigh with it. She's an adult, and will understand what sexual attraction is. Perhaps if she had a penis, she'd have an erection too from all the sexual energy.

Having said that, if she had a penis, you'd have other things to worry about, like why you're making out with a woman who has male genitalia, and who will win the sword fight happening down there.

[NC MacGuy]

Your supposed to tuck it upwards to your beltline and tighten the belt of your pants around it to keep the beast at bay. As long as you're wearing a non-tucked in shirt, you're safe.;)

[atszyman]

It's most certainly possible.

I suspect many of us would not be here today if it weren't possible...

Whether or not you can continue to date this girl is a completely different question, and one only she can answer.

[jessica.]

I say just get close and poke her thigh with it. She's an adult, and will understand what sexual attraction is. Perhaps if she had a penis, she'd have an erection too from all the sexual energy.

Having said that, if she had a penis, you'd have other things to worry about, like why you're making out with a woman who has male genitalia, and who will win the sword fight happening down there.

You do not know if she is an adult. My guess is she isn't because the OP appears young.

[dmr727]

As long as you're wearing a non-tucked in shirt, you're safe.;)

So THAT'S why I've been getting the strange looks today.

[chilipie]

Duct tape is your friend.

[atszyman]

Duct tape is your friend.

Until you have to remove it....

[coledog]

I say just get close and poke her thigh with it. She's an adult, and will understand what sexual attraction is. Perhaps if she had a penis, she'd have an erection too from all the sexual energy.

Having said that, if she had a penis, you'd have other things to worry about, like why you're making out with a woman who has male genitalia, and who will win the sword fight happening down there.

Rofl! :D

Another vote for the generally women/girls like it if you're that attracted to them...

One thing I did when I was unsure about the girl, was to kinda keep your lower body out a bit from her pelvis etc...wear tighter boxers and jeans too...

[rdowns]

I'm assuming you're a teenager. Relax and don't worry. It's perfectly natural. Now, go kiss her again and untuck your shirt. :D

[coledog]

I apologize ahead of time for the double post...

So THAT'S why I've been getting the strange looks today.

This thread is awesome...just awesome!

Duct tape is your friend.

Until you have to remove it....

And what if one progresses far enough in one night...? Your pants come down and you have duct tape on your wang?!? That's a turn on...:rolleyes:

[Abstract]

You do not know if she is an adult. My guess is she isn't because the OP appears young.

Hmmm..... I don't know his age. Well, if they're both young, then I guess she better get used to the whole "erection" thing, because all men get those, even when they're kissing. She's probably just as excited as him, but women don't really exhibit any obvious physical changes when they're excited. If she's just as excited as he is, she'll probably understand, even if she's in her mid-teens.

[shfreelance]

Nothing wrong with it, it's better if your gay, lol.

[NC MacGuy]

I say just get close and poke her thigh with it. She's an adult, and will understand what sexual attraction is.

Hey, that's considered my foreplay!:D

[Abstract]

Women like that? I have been misinformed.

Now, go kiss her again and untuck your shirt. :D

Or just put it in a box. ;)

[Keebler]

i wouldn't worry. it shows you like her and most importantly, it's normal.

btw, i knew as soon as I read your post, that responses such as 'tuck it under the belt' , use 'duct tape' and my favourite so far, 'poke her thigh with it' would be here quick. lol

i could quote things i've said to my wife when we were first dating, but probably very inappropriate so i'll stop here :)

[GimmeSlack12]

I think if there are topics you find distasteful then do not read and do not reply.

The thread shows up in the Spy, and this is the first thread I've felt this way about.

[coledog]

Hey, that's considered my foreplay!:D

Lol, mine too!

Or just put it in a box. ;)

That'd look interesting in the front...here comes box-man!

i wouldn't worry. it shows you like her and most importantly, it's normal.

btw, i knew as soon as I read your post, that responses such as 'tuck it under the belt' , use 'duct tape' and my favourite so far, 'poke her thigh with it' would be here quick. lol

i could quote things i've said to my wife when we were first dating, but probably very inappropriate so i'll stop here :)

Ohh come on! We're all adult...cept for the OP...

[mkrishnan]

If you already consider her your girlfriend, I don't see why it's a big deal, or why it would bother her.... :o Otherwise, you have to lead with the hip. :eek: ;)

[EricNau]

The thread shows up in the Spy, and this is the first thread I've felt this way about.
Don't come here often? :p

[coledog]

Don't come here often? :p

Haha, that's what I was wondering.

[rdowns]

I find this topic quite distasteful. OP, live and learn if you want an answer.

As is your right. No need to read it if it bothers you.

The thread shows up in the Spy, and this is the first thread I've felt this way about.


Yet here you are, some 20 odd posts later still reading the thread. :rolleyes:

[jessica.]

The thread shows up in the Spy, and this is the first thread I've felt this way about.

Then stop reading! Jesus it's not like anyone forced your hand and forum spy or not ... the freaking title wasn't vague!

[NC MacGuy]

I've seen worse (much!) in my daughters health sciences book. Chill.:rolleyes:

[iJohnHenry]

Lean in more, and always keep your eye on the ball.

[adk]

This reminds me of an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm...



Use your "attention" to get her attention. Third base here we come!

[chilipie]

This reminds me of an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm...

The very first episode, IIRC :)

[NC MacGuy]

The very first episode, IIRC :)

The one with Auntie in the garden was really good. Gots those hugging rules you know.;)
one one thousand, two one thousand, three - hugs over due to extenuating circumstances.

[SteveMobs]

I just smile and give her a dirty wink. It may give her the creeps, but eventually, they get used to my creepiness and just go along with it.

Haha!

[jessica.]

Hugs are for losers. Kiss her, take care of your business. If she flinches, dump her.

[Abstract]

Don't come here often? :p

That's what she said.

[SteveMobs]

I say just get close and poke her thigh with it. She's an adult, and will understand what sexual attraction is. Perhaps if she had a penis, she'd have an erection too from all the sexual energy.

Having said that, if she had a penis, you'd have other things to worry about, like why you're making out with a woman who has male genitalia, and who will win the sword fight happening down there.

Sorry to the OP but Abstract has taken your thread to a different comedic level.

On the lighter side, I'm sure she doesn't care.

[shfreelance]

That's what she said.

That's so last year...

[Abstract]

It really is soooo last month.

[shfreelance]

It really is soooo last month.

AKA: Last Year...

[chilipie]

AKA: Last Year...

Ooo, very good :D

[Abstract]

I just put it that way to illustrate the apparent significance of just 26 days. ;)


It was probably "so last year" last year, but it's kind of like getting Rick-rolled today.

[shfreelance]

I just put it that way to illustrate the apparent significance of just 26 days. ;)


It was probably "so last year" last year, but it's kind of like getting Rick-rolled today.

I still never got it... Just thought it was stupid, is it a straight thing?

[Dagless]

Just learn to hide it kiddo! Or just be up front about it. My girlfriend was flattered.

On a side note, I'm 23 and been with my girlfriend for 6 years but kisses still melt me. Love em.

[r1ch4rd]

It's a good way to subtly let them know that you will be up to the job when required.

[Lau]

Breaking news: girls like sex too!

More next week.

[NC MacGuy]

Breaking news: girls like sex too!

More next week.

NO FREAKIN' WAYYYY!!!:eek:

[r1ch4rd]

Breaking news: girls like sex too!


That's certainly not been my experience.

[Jaffa Cake]

Breaking news: girls like sex too!Blmey, who'd have thought?

They'll be giving those pesky girls the vote next...

[robbieduncan]

Breaking news: girls like sex too!

More next week.

How dare they. Next you'll be telling me they can drink out of pint glasses and even vote :eek:
:p

Edit: damn, beaten by Jaffa Cake

[benflick]

OP, how old are you?

[Avaj]

this thread is cracking me up :D

to the OP, it is all GOOD!!

[Lau]

That's certainly not been my experience.

These are not the ones to poke with your chap, then. ;)

[WinkWink726]

lean into her with it! lol

she'll be flattered unless she's a frigid cold fish lol :eek:

[majordude]

I'm assuming you're a teenager.

Or a 40 year old virgin.

[NC MacGuy]

These are not the ones to poke with your chap, then. ;)

Let alone marry...:mad:

[Abstract]

Breaking news: girls like sex too!

More next week.

That's certainly not been my experience.


Breaking news: girls like sex too, but not with you!

Better?

[jessica.]

Correction: Girls like sex, but not with you!Recruiting for your club again I see.

[NC MacGuy]

Breaking news: girls like sex too, but not with you!

Better?

I thought you went to jail for relations with a girl? Women are safe though.;)

[Abstract]

I get no repeat customers. I don't know if it's the recession, or poor word of mouth.

lean into her with it! lol

she'll be flattered unless she's a frigid cold fish lol :eek:

Nearly every girl who has posted in this thread has agreed. Being poked in the leg isn't an insult, or disgusting when kissing a boyfriend.

[dmr727]

I thought you went to jail for relations with a girl?

Only if you get caught.

[Trip.Tucker]

Hugs are for losers. Kiss her, take care of your business. If she flinches, dump her.

I gotta meet more girls with Jessica's attitude!

[jessica.]

I gotta meet more girls with Jessica's attitude!

Not sure they exist but for the love of God, set your sights higher than someone with my attitude! You can do better.

[iJohnHenry]

Women are safe though.;)

Holy crap, is that ever bad advice!! :eek:

Not sure they exist but for the love of God, set your sights higher than someone with my attitude! You can do better.

<Looks around for a kitty.>

[dmr727]

<Looks around for a kitty.>

Kick its ass, iJohn! Kick its ass!

[ipodtouchy333]

Well coming from a girl, I say it's not really a big deal. I mean, if it was just a little peck then have some control, but anything making out and farther, isn't that what's supposed to happen... I'm sure she was probably turned on too, she just has the advantage of the whole room not noticing, ha.

[coledog]

Kick its ass, iJohn! Kick its ass!

I just snorted sprite...

[floyde]

Of course women like sex, but since they don't have a little "friend" to tell on them, they can pretend that they don't, and use that to torture us into doing all sorts of crazy stuff. Must be quite fun, I imagine :p

[trule]

without her noticing? I was kissing my new girlfriend for the first time and um, my soldier kind of just decided to stand up. It was quite obvious she could tell(and later said she didn't mind), but rather embarrassing. Guys, has this ever happened to you? How can you stop her from noticing(if at all possible)

Ladies, what do you think when this happens to you?

Your 28 years old and your asking this question :confused:

[r.j.s]

I just snorted sprite...

Normally, you drink sprite ...

[calculus]

Normally, you drink sprite ...

Correct, it's coke you snort...

[Electro Funk]

for the love of god... wear a pair of jeans and not sweat pants!

[jessica.]

Well coming from a girl, I say it's not really a big deal. I mean, if it was just a little peck then have some control, but anything making out and farther, isn't that what's supposed to happen... I'm sure she was probably turned on too, she just has the advantage of the whole room not noticing, ha.

Man that is priceless!

If the OP is 28 there are bigger problems to be concerned with than this ... I thought he was a young boy asking for boner advice.

[dmr727]

for the love of god... wear a pair of jeans and not sweat pants!

Especially if you're rolling commando!

[jessica.]

Especially if you're rolling commando!

No way, Commando in sweats = Awesome. Seriously though ... in for one.
Quick easy access FTW. Man ... to be young again. I miss it. :(

[zap2]

The thread shows up in the Spy, and this is the first thread I've felt this way about.

Here is an radical idea


Don't click it
:eek:

[coledog]

Normally, you drink sprite ...

Correct, it's coke you snort...

*****...that's why I never feel anything!

[r.j.s]

Here is an radical idea


Don't click it
:eek:

The worst part for him now is that it shows up with the subscription checkmark ...

*****...that's why I never feel anything!

Yes, try coke ... but stay away from pepsi.

[ipodtouchy333]

Man that is priceless!

If the OP is 28 there are bigger problems to be concerned with than this ... I thought he was a young boy asking for boner advice.

Haha, I didn't realize there was a double meaning there. And I also didn't realize he was 28.....wow, that's sad.

No way, Commando in sweats = Awesome. Seriously though ... in for one.
Quick easy access FTW. Man ... to be young again. I miss it. :(

Good call, lol.

[coledog]

Man that is priceless!

If the OP is 28 there are bigger problems to be concerned with than this ... I thought he was a young boy asking for boner advice.

We don't know he's 28...just some dude said he was.

[jessica.]

Haha, I didn't realize there was a double meaning there. And I also didn't realize he was 28.....wow, that's sad.



Good call, lol.

Seriously, you just handed it to me. Good job!
I am not sure where 28 came into play, but someone mentioned it and I rolled with it. Makes the thread all the more fun ... until it is wastelanded™.

We don't know he's 28...just some dude said he was.


Well there you have it. See how easily rumors start?!

[BoyBach]

for the love of god... wear a pair of jeans and not sweat pants!

Especially if you're rolling commando!


For the love Aphrodite, do not heed the above advice!

Jean zip + lack of undercrackers = ouch!

[jessica.]

For the love Aphrodite, do not heed the above advice!

Jean zip + lack of undercrackers = ouch!

Jeans work if you wear them as they should be worn, not two sizes too small like the little emowhores™ around here. Sorry kiddies, but wearing your sister's Jordache jeans isn't cool.

[coledog]

Yes, try coke ... but stay away from pepsi.

*makes note to send r.j.s box of cookies at christmas...*

For the love Aphrodite, do not heed the above advice!

Jean zip + lack of undercrackers = ouch!

Lol, how true he is...

[Lau]

Seriously, you just handed it to me. Good job!
I am not sure where 28 came into play, but someone mentioned it and I rolled with it. Makes the thread all the more fun ... until it is wastelanded™.


He seems to say it himself, here (http://forums.macrumors.com/showpost.php?p=6394022&postcount=11).

[monke]

Possibly the best advice thread. Ever.

[dmr727]

Jean zip + lack of undercrackers = ouch!

Hey, with great risk comes great reward. It helps to wear looser jeans too - you don't want to be smuggling grapes or anything! :)

[jessica.]

He seems to say it himself, here (http://forums.macrumors.com/showpost.php?p=6394022&postcount=11).

WOW whomever brought it up in this thread is doing some serious netstalking™!
28 and lived on his own for 10 years? Yeah, this is 40-year old virgin territory and no doubt the OP was doing a facepalm™ right around page 2.

[trule]

We don't know he's 28...just some dude said he was.

he said he was 28 in another thread...about not being able to keep his room clean.

dude out ;)

[NC MacGuy]

He seems to say it himself, here (http://forums.macrumors.com/showpost.php?p=6394022&postcount=11).

Well that was in October. He could have had a birthday since then.:rolleyes::p

[jessica.]

Hey, with great risk comes great reward. It helps to wear looser jeans too - you don't want to be smuggling grapes or anything! :)

But don't you know the style is to wear Junk Suffocaters™?

[coledog]

I stand corrected...i apologize!

[dmr727]

But don't you know the style is to wear Junk Suffocaters™?

Ugh. No thanks. The boys need to breathe!

[jessica.]

http://racked.com/2007_06_skinny%20jeans-thumb.jpg

Ugh. No thanks. The boys need to breathe!
No shi*t! And sorry but I don't want to be around when you plop that poor suffocated bastard out in my face. I just don't want to hear it "gasp". I'm just sayin'!

[r.j.s]

^^^ Those look painful ... stop it ... it hurts ...

[Jaffa Cake]

I stand corrected...i apologize!Just as long as you're not kissing a girl while standing – corrected or otherwise – there's no need to apologise.

[coledog]

http://racked.com/2007_06_skinny%20jeans-thumb.jpg

To girls reading this thread: Does that ^^ really turn you on?

[jessica.]

To girls reading this thread: Does that ^^ really turn you on?

Well I hardly qualify ... but as someone who doesn't have a penis but did enjoy them back in her youth ... no it doesn't.

[rdowns]

WOW whomever brought it up in this thread is doing some serious netstalking™!
28 and lived on his own for 10 years? Yeah, this is 40-year old virgin territory and no doubt the OP was doing a facepalm™ right around page 2.

No surprise we haven't heard from him again. He's either embarrassed or sporting another woody.

[dmr727]

http://racked.com/2007_06_skinny%20jeans-thumb.jpg


I bet that guy is also wearing an ironic t-shirt.

[jessica.]

I bet that guy is also wearing an ironic t-shirt.
Without a doubt.

[iJohnHenry]

No shi*t! And sorry but I don't want to be around when you plop that poor suffocated bastard out in my face. I just don't want to hear it "gasp". I'm just sayin'!

Almost lost my Kilkenny ..... almost. http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g158/MouseMeat/Smilies/MMafter03.gif

[r.j.s]

Almost lost my Kilkenny ..... almost. http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g158/MouseMeat/Smilies/MMafter03.gif

At least you didn't try snorting it ...

[j26]

http://racked.com/2007_06_skinny%20jeans-thumb.jpg


There's a T-Shirt that would go perfectly with that, but I can't post it - I'd be banned!:D

[jessica.]

Almost lost my Kilkenny ..... almost. http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g158/MouseMeat/Smilies/MMafter03.gif
Now I'm not going to be held responsible for your spillage of beer my friend. Suck it up and keep it contained to one general area with your throat.

(thinking that was just a "that's what he said" moment"
There's a T-Shirt that would go perfectly with that, but I can't post it - I'd be banned!:D

Just provide a link please because if it is ban-worthy it is Jessica worthy. Humor an old lady!

[floyde]

There's a T-Shirt that would go perfectly with that, but I can't post it - I'd be banned!:D

Aww come on, it's not like we'd miss you ;):p

[Lau]

To girls reading this thread: Does that ^^ really turn you on?

Now, now, they suit some people more than others. Not my bag (if you'll pardon the pun), but each to their own.

[iJohnHenry]

At least you didn't try snorting it ...

I know the correct position, unlike the OP it would seem.

[jessica.]

Now, now, they suit some people more than others. Not my bag (if you'll pardon the pun), but each to their own.
Sorry but Junk Suffocators™ are never suitable!
Aww come on, it's not like we'd miss you ;):p

LMFAO .... really!

[coledog]

At least you didn't try snorting it ...

Dude, you're cracking me up too much!!

[r.j.s]

There's a T-Shirt that would go perfectly with that, but I can't post it - I'd be banned!:D

No, you might just get a Time-Out.

Dude, you're cracking me up too much!!

I thought you were going to stick to coke, now you're talking about crack!?

[ZiggyPastorius]

Sorry but Junk Suffocators™ are never suitable!


LMFAO .... really!

I wear tight pants (Men's "Skinny" jeans), but they don't suffocate my junk, so I don't see it as a problem. I hate baggy pants with a fierce passion.

[j26]

Just provide a link please because if it is ban-worthy it is Jessica worthy. Humor an old lady!

Ah, sure okay then.


Click to view image -- NOT SAFE FOR WORK (http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa109/barachello/egp37l2lgdh63bw9dx19f73.jpg)

Fairly apt for the OPs problem too!!! :D

[jessica.]

I wear tight pants (Men's "Skinny" jeans), but they don't suffocate my junk, so I don't see it as a problem. I hate baggy pants with a fierce passion.

Not baggy but more relaxed is nice.

[coledog]

I thought you were going to stick to coke, now you're talking about crack!?

Lol, you bet!

Love the house avatar btw!

[floyde]

Ah, sure okay then.


Fairly apt for the OPs problem too!!! :D

Lol dude!! I was just joking, you didn't have to post that. That is hilarious though :D

[ZiggyPastorius]

Not baggy but more relaxed is nice.

I like my men to have "Man's camel toe," actually.

:p

[coledog]

Ah, sure okay then.

Fairly apt for the OPs problem too!!! :D

Ahahaha! That's awesome!!

[iJohnHenry]

Lol dude!! I was just joking, you didn't have to post that. That is hilarious though :D

Never fear, Black Velvet is always near. :p

[jecapaga]

Especially if you're rolling commando!

Correct. Save the sweats for the strip club. :rolleyes:

[calculus]

Who on earth tucks their t-shirt into their trousers though?

[ipodtouchy333]

Ah, sure okay then.

Fairly apt for the OPs problem too!!! :D

Haha, wasn't expecting that, but at least it's of decent size....lol.

[iJohnHenry]

I like my men to have "Man's camel toe," actually.

:p

Zig, are you coming-out to us ... finally???:eek:

[mkrishnan]

I think that's quite enough for now. ;) Don't feel bad. You have to enjoy it while it lasts. True for erections and wastelanded posts.