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View Full Version : Microsoft cues up Net music store


MacBytes
Mar 19, 2004, 07:09 PM
Category: Microsoft
Link: Microsoft cues up Net music store (http://www.macbytes.com/link.php?sid=20040319200917)
Posted on MacBytes.com (http://www.macbytes.com)

Approved by Mudbug

winmacguy
Mar 19, 2004, 07:19 PM
This will be interesting to see. They would have mind share but MS doesnt have its own MP3 player and would only be able to offer what is already being offered by other competitors.

TomSmithMacEd
Mar 19, 2004, 08:55 PM
This will be interesting to see. They would have mind share but MS doesnt have its own MP3 player and would only be able to offer what is already being offered by other competitors.

But remember they have their iPod killer coming out soon. (he he he he he)

SilvorX
Mar 19, 2004, 09:47 PM
if it does any damage to apple, apple should just release iOffice :P

zamyatin
Mar 19, 2004, 10:22 PM
if it does any damage to apple, apple should just release iOffice :P

They could do so simply by making Appleworks more compatible with OpenOffice (for example, adopt the OpenOffice file format as the default for Appleworks). OpenOffice is already making great strides on Wintel, it is the dominant office suite on Linux by a comfortable margin, and it's well-represented on Macs too. Check it out: www.openoffice.org

.

TwitchOSX
Mar 19, 2004, 10:47 PM
Imagine some big computer trade show.

That fat crack head Steve Balmer comes out on stage sweating and screaming like a monkey that got a tranq in its ass. He comes out, screams about how he loves his little company and then invites Gates to the stage.

Gates stumbles out and greets the crowd in a calm manner. Not that anybody is cheering at Balmer.. thats just added sound for the folks at home. Gates doesnt need to calm them down much with thier golf clap as he walks up to the podium.

He starts out rambling on about spam and paying for email.. you know.. recent things he pulled out of his ass. Things that he thinks he knows everything about and things that he thinks people give a crap about. He then mentions how Microsoft is going to be the FIRST IN THE INDUSTRY to offer a truely multimedia experience on your personal computer.

Starting today, he states, Microsoft will be rolling out all new applications for your digital lifestyle. We are proud to be the first to bring these types of advances to the consumer at a reasonable price.

He then introduces microPicture.

This Breakthrough application allows you to seamlessly catalog and organize your digital photos in one easy to use application. Just click on the START button, go to Applications, go to microApps, go to Windows, and then scroll through the DLL's until you find microPicture.

Once in microPicture, you will notice how it shows you thumbnails of your photo's. You can even resize them for viewing pleasure!

Anyway.. he continues to ramble on about how you can order prints from the program via WALMART and even burn them to disc.

"And were the first to bring this type of easy and productivity to the consumer desktop computer!"

A mild clap follows. Steve Balmer runs across the stage screaming about something as they play some britney spears music. The audience is not amused.

Gates then announces the breakthrough program "microTunes"

He states that this is the first jukebox in the industry with the consumer in mind. It has playlists, song ranking, and visualizers. He then proceeds to talk about the special Microsoft Visual Basic JSCRIPT Visualizersģ for about 10 minutes.

Of course, this brings mild sighs from the audience.

Gates, looking for something to spice things up brings Balmer back on stage. Balmer gets the music going and starts dancing around.. sweating even more. Obviously he doesnt work out much except for trade shows. He exits 5 minutes later and Gates regains his composure.

Gates then decides to announce the "Biggest software announcement of 2004" The microTunes Music Store.

He states that its all original and the first in the industry to incorperate the special Microsoft Visual Basic JSCRIPT Visualizersģ. Not only does it have the special Microsoft Visual Basic JSCRIPT Visualizersģ, it also has a HUGE catalog of 200,000 songs. He states that the catalog of songs may be smaller than "the other" music download stores on the market, however, Microsofts crack team of music audiophiles, has scanned the normal 400 - 500 thousand catalogs that everybody else has and "trimmed" it up to be only the best music that Microsoft knows will be best for the consumer in the end.

And Then... the big deal.

Gates has a couple guys roll out a cart with a drape over it.
He states that Microsoft has studied the current trend in portable audio and has come out with the ultimate portable music player. He pulls off the drape and unveils the "microPod".

Gates picks up the 5lb device and touts it as the "next advancement in portable digital music". Unfortunately, it WEIGHS 5LBS!. Gates, being a frail little man has to double hand this beast to the platform where he drops it with a thud to the wood. He attaches hi-fi stereo headphones straight out of 1988 with big puffy pads and speakers.

He states that studies show (Microsoft Sponsered) that ear buds fall out too easy and they allow too much outside sound in which decreases in overall sound quality.

Our Hi-Fi stereo headphones offer the best in audio and quality.. made by the finest manufactures in India and Mexico.

It has a spinning wheel on the front.. which doesnt do much.. but spin. You can even replace the spinning wheel with "dubz". Microsoft's new addition to Portable Music Players. These "dubz" allow you to change out your spinning wheel on the face with all kinds of "cool" wheels. You can even have chrome (plastic with metal like covering) wheels "Fo tha thugz". He continues to talk about how it will hold "Over 2000 Songs".

Gates seems amazed that they could pull this off and how its the first in the industry to offer what the people want.


Anyway.. thats how it might go. Ive spent way too much time and energy on this post so I will let it go. Latez

Twitchosx

winmacguy
Mar 19, 2004, 11:02 PM
Imagine some big computer trade show.


Anyway.. thats how it might go. Ive spent way too much time and energy on this post so I will let it go. Latez

Twitchosx

I hope you do stand up comedy as well TwitchOSX ;)
Very good piece, probably very close to the real thing as well.

We musn't forget of course that HP's PCs with iTunes desktop icons will be hitting computer stores shelves 107,000 outlets rom the end of March around the world. And in doing so will lead the PC user to the iTunes and iTMS experience through( applicable countries at this stage) . That might chuck a bit of a spanner in Bills plans, along with the pending EU decision.

Sabenth
Mar 19, 2004, 11:46 PM
out standing just what the world needs another music online bubble store wooott.... Nice bit of under cover reporting by TwitchOSX ....


Everyones fave house brick now holds music and photos... :D

Nermal
Mar 20, 2004, 12:12 AM
I hope you do stand up comedy as well TwitchOSX ;)
Very good piece, probably very close to the real thing as well.

We musn't forget of course that HP's PCs with iTunes desktop icons will be hitting computer stores shelves 107,000 outlets rom the end of March around the world. And in doing so will lead the PC user to the iTunes and iTMS experience through( applicable countries at this stage) . That might chuck a bit of a spanner in Bills plans, along with the pending EU decision.

Did you need to quote the entire post? :rolleyes:

I'm sure iTunes is going to gain even more marketshare as time goes on. A lot of people still have dialup, and a 20 MB iTunes download is huge. Even on my pseudo-broadband it still takes 20 minutes*. But once it's preinstalled, a lot more people will try it.

* Better services coming soon! 16x the speed for the same price :)

TwitchOSX
Mar 20, 2004, 12:25 AM
As long as one person read a little or all of my post.. and was amused by it, I am happy. I took about 2 hours to write that =) I took a lot of time and thought into that.

I know It was odd but thats what I thought when I read that initial story. My post was just how I saw Microsoft bringing it on. I see it as being a buggy pathetic followup to what everybody else is doing.

Anyway, I hope you guys like my post. It was fun to think of in my head. I could actually see that happening.. word for word. Thats how sad Microsoft is.

TwitchOSX

Nermal
Mar 20, 2004, 01:35 AM
Yeah, I enjoyed reading it. Thanks :)

HexMonkey
Mar 20, 2004, 01:46 AM
Yeah, I enjoyed reading it. Thanks :)

So much so that you're quoting part of it in your new signature. ;)

Nermal
Mar 20, 2004, 02:49 AM
Somebody's got sharp eyes :)

ingenious
Mar 20, 2004, 09:24 AM
if it does any damage to apple, apple should just release iOffice :P


i thot that there was a rumor about apple creating its own office suite and dumping AppleWorks. They were going to build off of the success of KeyNote. I wish that they would, because I'm about fed up with M$ Office crashing and slowness and OpenOffice.org looks too much like M$ Win98! I love to watch ppl use KeyNote, even tho Ive never gotten to use it myself.

1macker1
Mar 21, 2004, 09:59 AM
This is bad for apple. I dont think MS will take too much market share from Apple, but everytime one of these alternate music stores open, there is a chance for people to choose something other than iTunes music store.

Once one of these other companies start using a compatible AAC format that can be used with the iPod, Apple will be in trouble.

SiliconAddict
Mar 21, 2004, 03:33 PM
Hmmm. Its hard to determine where Microsoft could go with this. In just about any venture it does it takes at minimum 2 versions to get things to an acceptable level so in actuality it may very well be 1st quarter of 2005 before they get anything that is actually decient. At any rate I'd expect version 1 of their online store to be a freaking mess unless they just went out and purchased some firm to manage and deploy their store. (Ya like MS isnít known for buying what they donít have the brains to create themselves.)
Also until we find out how liberal or how restrictive their rights are it will be hard to determine where people's loyalties will lie.

Apple has, duh, a commanding lead right now and is in the public eye when it comes to music. But once again Microsoft commands the monopoly and since the injustice department doesn't have the balls to do what is needed to be done to Microsoft to assure fair competition its a forgone conclusion the interim version of Windows XP (Tentatively named : XP Reloaded.) Will have major tie-ins to the music store. This could be drastically different in Europe though where the EU is pushing for a version of Windows without Media Player. If OEMs can ship without Mediaplayer this could has a devastating effect on Microsoft and any online music store effort. They would actually have to compete *gasp* :eek: Which basically would mean they are screwed.
Also with HP preloading all their systems with iTunes itís possible others may follow. (*Imagines Gateway following* DROOLS*)

iTunes isnít dead yet but anytime Microsoft targets any market everyone should be worried. Frankly Napster and MusicMatch should be ****ing themselves because they are already outclassed by the iTMS. A Microsoft product would almost spell certain doom for them.
Personally, I think the key to winning is saturating the market with iPod, hPod, and AAC enabled devices as soon as humanly possible. Last I head, which was admittedly last fall, iPod had a 30% market share. This is good. It could be better. To be comfortable they really should be in the 40-50% range. That and Jobs needs to act more like a businessman for once instead of an idealist. Ideals is what made Apple lose the computer wars and if Jobs isnít careful it could have the same effect on the upcoming music wars.

The thing that I don't get is why Microsoft is even bothering with online music. Itís not a high profit market. I'm starting to wonder if Micro*** is worried about losing market share, even if its a small amount in the grand scheme of things, to Apple? :confused:

SiliconAddict
Mar 21, 2004, 03:38 PM
This is bad for apple. I dont think MS will take too much market share from Apple, but everytime one of these alternate music stores open, there is a chance for people to choose something other than iTunes music store.

Once one of these other companies start using a compatible AAC format that can be used with the iPod, Apple will be in trouble.


Hehe. I think Apple would relish this. Remember. Apple bread and butter from the music side of things comes from the iPod not the music store. They are invariably linked to one another but if AAC becomes more commonplace itís a pretty good bet iPod sales will pick up. Also keep in mind that these OTHER music stores are nipping and biting at one another just as much as at Apple. Microsoft could have the effect of cleaning house by drawing the few sales these stores are getting over to Microsoft. So in the end it could end up being simply a Microsoft vs. Apple battle once again.

themadchemist
Mar 22, 2004, 12:28 PM
I think Microsoft has a greater chance of grabbing new users than Apple does, if both compete in the same marketplace. Microsoft has a larger customer base that it can inundate with prospects of its music store...

Especially when purchasing music online moves past its early adopter and geek chic stages and becomes mainstream, Microsoft has the better odds. First, you'll have the dunderheads who buy their Dell magic light box to check their e-mail, "surf the web," write about fancy-schmancy word documents, and now buy music...They will go with the default, and Microsoft will ensure that Windows will default to the msMS at every opportunity. You open up Word and the paper clip guy starts: "You like Music right?" Yes. "You want music now, right?" Sure. "Music on the cheap, on your OWN computer?" OK. "Go to msMS now and buy music." First time, you just say no.

Then you're typing along and Einstein pops up. "Can I help you with anything today?" No. "Like buying music from msMS?" No. "You must buy music. You MUST BUY MUSIC." You press no again. A whole bunch of error boxes show up: "Error -401: Unexpected 'No' for an Answer." The system starts beeping and the hillbilly weeps before the blinking box, crying inconsolably as it melts down before his eyes. He falls to his knees and begs forgiveness of the Computer Gods. When he rises again, a blue light fills the room. He looks at the monitor with fear and awe; a blue screen now appears. And it says:

"Press any key to buy 500 songs from msMS and to continue."

He presses a key and he buys the songs. He goes to listen to them: 80 of them were ripped improperly and just play high pitched squeals and fuzz; 260 of them are corrupt and cannot be opened; WMP thinks that 60 of them are in an unrecognizable file format; 50 of them have permissions set to a different computer and play on the hillbilly's computer cannot be authorized; and the last 50 of them consist of the mating calls of the wild Koala, a staple that Microsoft knew would be a fan favorite.

My point is--Microsoft can use its OS as a platform for advertising. If it does, then it's got a whole lot more cheap advertising space than Apple, and every idiot will succumb. Then you'll get the idiots who think they know something, who will talk about the "superiority of Microsoft's offering" and how "Apple once again copied MS" and criticize Apple using words like pwn and sux0rz and a variety of profanity that serve to imbue their arguments with a certain classical refinement.

nubero
Mar 23, 2004, 02:20 PM
My point is--Microsoft can use its OS as a platform for advertising. If it does, then it's got a whole lot more cheap advertising space than Apple, and every idiot will succumb. Then you'll get the idiots who think they know something, who will talk about the "superiority of Microsoft's offering" and how "Apple once again copied MS" and criticize Apple using words like pwn and sux0rz and a variety of profanity that serve to imbue their arguments with a certain classical refinement.

Exactly right. :(
And as long as Apple keeps being so arrogant about the things they do instead of really pushing into the market (where is iTMS Europe and Asia?) they don't deserve else.

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Counterfit
Apr 14, 2004, 03:05 PM
Okay, I know it's a bit late, but it was a sig link! You HAVE to click those!
Our Hi-Fi stereo headphones offer the best in audio and quality.. made by the finest manufactures in India and Mexico. That means they use 12 year old kids instead of 9 year old kids :D

cb911
Apr 16, 2004, 07:12 AM
great story TwitchOSX. :D

Nermal's got this thread in his sig now, so i had to check it out, and looks like i'm not the only one. :)