Jeewhizz
Mar 24, 2004, 09:34 PM
Long time lurker - s'pose i had better get posting really :)
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT TV DINNER PRODUCT ***
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you
agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners.
You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which
would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights).
You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner
and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.
If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into
the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes: mstv.dinn.
//08.5min@50%heat Then enter: ms//start.cook_dindin/
yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
If you have a Macintosh microwave oven, insert the dinner
and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
If you have a Unix microwave oven, insert the dinner, enter
the ingredients of the dinner found on the package label,
the weight of the dinner, and the desired level of cooking
and press start. The oven will calculate the time and heat
and cook the dinner exactly to your specification.
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which
case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple
procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter:
ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap
This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the
microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't
work, contact your oven vendor. The oven itself is obviously
on the blink.
Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big,
larger than the dinner itself, having many useless
compartments, most of which are empty. These are for
future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in your
oven, you will need to upgrade your equipment.
Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and
only the chicken variety is currently produced. If you want
another variety, call Microsoft Help and they will explain
that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft
Chicken is all you really need.
Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller
versions of their chicken dinners. Future releases will
only be in the larger family size. Excess chicken may be
stored for future use, but must be saved only in
Microsoft approved packaging.
Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner under their
new operating system. However, that version has yet to
be released. Users have permission to get thrilled in advance.
Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners
in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is
a feature, not a bug. Your freezer probably should have
been defrosted anyway.
I can relate to this :D
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT TV DINNER PRODUCT ***
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you
agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners.
You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which
would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights).
You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner
and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.
If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into
the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes: mstv.dinn.
//08.5min@50%heat Then enter: ms//start.cook_dindin/
yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
If you have a Macintosh microwave oven, insert the dinner
and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
If you have a Unix microwave oven, insert the dinner, enter
the ingredients of the dinner found on the package label,
the weight of the dinner, and the desired level of cooking
and press start. The oven will calculate the time and heat
and cook the dinner exactly to your specification.
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which
case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple
procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter:
ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap
This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the
microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't
work, contact your oven vendor. The oven itself is obviously
on the blink.
Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big,
larger than the dinner itself, having many useless
compartments, most of which are empty. These are for
future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in your
oven, you will need to upgrade your equipment.
Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and
only the chicken variety is currently produced. If you want
another variety, call Microsoft Help and they will explain
that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft
Chicken is all you really need.
Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller
versions of their chicken dinners. Future releases will
only be in the larger family size. Excess chicken may be
stored for future use, but must be saved only in
Microsoft approved packaging.
Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner under their
new operating system. However, that version has yet to
be released. Users have permission to get thrilled in advance.
Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners
in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is
a feature, not a bug. Your freezer probably should have
been defrosted anyway.
I can relate to this :D
