Hi Mjmar,
I am sharing your wish.
As anyone else, one thing that bugs me particularly alot is when I am working at the computer and the the music is stopping because I have to reboot, the computer hanged or crashed on me.
As a driver developer, this happens to me almost on a daily basis, therefore I like my music to come from another standalone device that won't be affected by my experiments. Also, because I do make heavy use of virtual machines, each of which is consuming alot of memory, I tend to restrict the running applications to the very minimal and unfortunately, iTunes is not your 1993-4 Winamp which was taking about less than a megabyte of RAM back then.
So I to would like to find something what would allow me to remotely change playlist, song or even better remotely make new playlists.
The ideal solution would probably be some app. running on the iPhone/iPod implementing a web server that's communicating to the built-in ipod player and would be controllable from most web browser.
Did you find anything such, or any other solution?