I don't know how to have fun anymore

[dukebound85]

Since moving to NY, I don't know how to have fun. No longer do I have close friends as I had back in CO, but merely work acquaintances. Everyone I work with are the age of my parents, married and have kids my age. They are nice but yea... I don't do anything on the weekends anymore as I have no one to go out with.

The highlight of my weekend is to sleep in to 12.

I try to go do stuff like go to Albany, go on bikerides but its just not fun anymore

How do I get out of this rut?

[Jack Flash]

Well, I just spent $4.28 on a Quizno's Toasty Torpedo. It has 3 pieces of pepperoni and two slices of turkey. Didn't even have ham on it. They called it the Italian.

We can be miserable together.

[MacDawg]

How about inviting someone to go on a bikeride with you?
Or while you are riding, introduce yourself to others you see on the ride
You already have the same interest, so you might schedule a ride together

Ride some new places and make an adventure of it
Make a commitment not to come back till you have met 3 new people

Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif

[barr08]

craigs list - casual encounters ;)

[poopyhead]

start going to bars, coffee shops, or church so that you can meet people your age.

you mentioned riding your bike, see if any of the bike stores in your area sponsor a club or group ride

[jarjarblinks]

Are you kidding me? Bored in NYC?!

[Consultant]

Take up partner dancing?

Are you kidding me? Bored in NYC?!

Upper state New York, probably in the middle of nowhere or people with family country.

[leekohler]

craigs list - casual encounters ;)

That's always good if you're really bored. :)


Duke- I find this hard to believe. I know you're not socially inept and you're also cute as hell.

BUT- I think you might just be homesick and don't feel up to trying to socialize. Also- upstate NY isn't exactly a social mecca for someone your age. Is there anyway you could relocate closer to NYC? I have no doubt you'd be just fine there socially.

[notjustjay]

Are you kidding me? Bored in NYC?!

The times when I feel the most alone are when I'm surrounded by huge crowds.

[leekohler]

Are you kidding me? Bored in NYC?!

He's not in NYC. He's in upstate New York. NOT the same thing at all.

[MiroMac]

Talk to people you don't know or that seem interesting.

[allmIne]

That's always good if you're really bored. :)


Duke- I find this hard to believe. I know you're not socially inept and you're also cute as hell.

BUT- I think you might just be homesick and don't feel up to trying to socialize. Also- upstate NY isn't exactly a social mecca for someone your age. Is there anyway you could relocate closer to NYC? I have no doubt you'd be just fine there socially.

How can you find virtually every guy that posts a picture in the macrumors picture thread cute / hot / attractive? Statistically, that must be close to impossible.

OP, buy a newspaper, grab a seat at the bar and read. You'll learn stuff, get drunk, and you're always guaranteed to meet people.

[Rt&Dzine]

Volunteer. You'll meet people and help people. It can be really fun.

[leekohler]

How can you find virtually every guy that posts a picture in the macrumors picture thread cute / hot / attractive? Statistically, that must be close to impossible.

I've explained this to you before, and I'm not going to do it again. I don't find every guy on MR attractive. If you don't like me, put me on ignore. Otherwise, drop it. Because really- one more time, and you'll really be annoying me. Actually- I'll repost it for you:

I don't compliment every guy who posts- but I do have a broad range of tastes, so perhaps it seems that way to you. In my experience, I've found that there is much to appreciate about many different kinds of looks and body types. I don't know about more babies, but perhaps the world would be a much nicer place if everyone opened themselves up to different things a bit more than they do. Redheads in particular are my favorite. If you've been paying attention, you already know that.

That and the fact that this forum has an unusually high amount of good-looking guys on it. ;)

If this notion somehow offends you, feel free to ignore my posts.

BTW- have you seen any pics of Duke? Ouch. ;)

Volunteer. You'll meet people and help people. It can be really fun.

That's a great idea, and actually probably up your alley, Duke.

[allmIne]

I've explained this to you before, and I'm not going to do it again. I don't find every guy on MR attractive. If you don't like me, put me on ignore. Otherwise, drop it. Because really- one more time, and you'll really be annoying me. Actually- I'll repost it for you:



BTW- have you seen any pics of Duke? Ouch. ;)



That's a great idea, and actually probably up your alley, Duke.

I'm not gay, so unfortunately his picture is of little interest to me.

My browser in work crashed while submitting that question last time; so I never bothered checking for an answer, as I assumed it hadn't been posted.

I didn't mean to offend you so badly - sorry! :o

[Little HZ]

Yes, volunteer work can open lots of doors. And if you can't find a bike (or car, or whatever) group to join, maybe you could start one? Also, think about taking a class. When I moved here, I started taking classes at the local community college--the ones that looked like the most fun--and met some folks who turned in to friends.

It seems to take longer to meet and make friends the older you get ... :o

[jarjarblinks]

If I was in a large country, I will EXPLORE. If only I had that liberty :mad:

Like, plan a 48 hr trip, prepare supplies, get a buddy along, have the grid points sussed out on a map, bring a snappy camera, and..just take off. Walk through the woods, bath in the streams, blend into nature, maybe even eat what you hunt, sleep under the stars cowboy style.

Then Sunday evening, go back to town, grab a booze at the pub, Monday's a new week. Sure you cant do this every weekend, but each trip can easily take a few weeks of planning in between to cover all the safety aspects of it.

Or, a personal favorite of mine, go to a place you like regularly, eventually that place will take on a personality of its own. Its not longer a place, but an extension of your life. Like the favourite Starbucks outlet - hang there for a few hours with ur Mac or a book, or even a magazine. If you're single, things can get interesting if you're there regularly enough and people find u more than just a passing face. Thats what I do. I have a pretty isolated life myself.

[leekohler]

I'm not gay, so unfortunately his picture is of little interest to me.

My browser in work crashed while submitting that question last time; so I never bothered checking for an answer, as I assumed it hadn't been posted.

I didn't mean to offend you so badly - sorry! :o

Go back and read it along with the rest of the posts after it. You might find it enlightening. And maybe next time you'll be a little less judgmental of others. And seriously- Why do you care who I find attractive?

Sorry for the threadjack Duke. :)

I think the volunteering thing could be great for you. Are there any charities/causes you might be interested in?

[puckhead193]

do you play any sports? See if there is an adult league.
You could take up golf; its something you can play when your 79 years young!

Join the club, i'm out of work for almost a year and all my college buddies are up in boston.

[allmIne]

Go back and read it along with the rest of the posts after it. You might find it enlightening. And maybe next time you'll be a little less judgmental of others. And seriously- Why do you care who I find attractive?

Sorry for the threadjack Duke. :)

I think the volunteering thing could be great for you. Are there any charities/causes you might be interested in?

I apologised Lee :) There was nothing whatsoever judgmental in my statement - I never said I thought it was right or wrong, just wondered why you had such a broad spectrum of tastes. It wasn't meant to be offensive. Thankfully, the respondents who quoted me in the original thread realised it wasn't meant offensively - you had me fearing the worst when you told me to go read it back!

Have a good one :)

[dukebound85]

How about inviting someone to go on a bikeride with you?
Or while you are riding, introduce yourself to others you see on the ride
You already have the same interest, so you might schedule a ride together

Ride some new places and make an adventure of it
Make a commitment not to come back till you have met 3 new people


Woof, Woof - Dawg http://homepage.mac.com/k.j.vinson/pawprint.gif

Invite who is where I am having trouble. No longer do I have my brothers to just casually toss a football around when its nice out. No longer do I have my brothers to just talk about nothing at 2am. Calling home will never replicate that no matter how hard I want it to

I do like your idea about meeting fellow bikeriders. Will say its also tough going from a VERY bike friendly community to one where it isnt as much


craigs list - casual encounters ;)

oh man, not sure if I want to go that route lol

start going to bars, coffee shops, or church so that you can meet people your age.

you mentioned riding your bike, see if any of the bike stores in your area sponsor a club or group ride

That's somthing I need to work on as I am not the most outgoing person. I just need to become involved more but it's so easy to just do nothing sadly. I don't know what it is. I have such a desire to change yet don't act on it.


BUT- I think you might just be homesick and don't feel up to trying to socialize. Also- upstate NY isn't exactly a social mecca for someone your age. Is there anyway you could relocate closer to NYC? I have no doubt you'd be just fine there socially.

I am VERY homesick. As far as relocating to NYC, that's not a possibility

Volunteer. You'll meet people and help people. It can be really fun.

Thanks, that would be a nice outlet

If I was in a large country, I will EXPLORE. If only I had that liberty :mad:

Like, plan a 48 hr trip, prepare supplies, get a buddy along, have the grid points sussed out on a map, bring a snappy camera, and..just take off. Walk through the woods, bath in the streams, blend into nature, maybe even eat what you hunt, sleep under the stars cowboy style.

Then Sunday evening, go back to town, grab a booze at the pub, Monday's a new week. Sure you cant do this every weekend, but each trip can easily take a few weeks of planning in between to cover all the safety aspects of it.

Or, a personal favorite of mine, go to a place you like regularly, eventually that place will take on a personality of its own. Its not longer a place, but an extension of your life. Like the favourite Starbucks outlet - hang there for a few hours with ur Mac or a book, or even a magazine. If you're single, things can get interesting if you're there regularly enough and people find u more than just a passing face. Thats what I do. I have a pretty isolated life myself.

Thanks for the idea:)



Its just that I work, come home, go to gym, eat, sleep, and do it all over again. Outside of work I dont interact with anyone really and usually am wiped. I wish I had a dog (apt wont allow) or something

Part of me wants to move back to fort collins right as I can afford to, as frankly, engineering is not near as glamorous as i would have hoped it would be which doesnt help my mindset either

[question fear]

do you play any sports? See if there is an adult league.
You could take up golf; its something you can play when your 79 years young!

Join the club, i'm out of work for almost a year and all my college buddies are up in boston.

I second this.

Duke, are you fresh out of college? I remember hitting a HORRIBLE rut when I was fresh out of school, and I was living in Boston with college friends! It can be hard to get out and meet new people...when I hit a similar rut after uprooting myself and moving to NJ I joined a rugby team. It was a great way to find new people, have something to do on weekends, and a huge network of people who would be there as soon as you mentioned the word "beer". I've made great friends that way, and it helped jump start me into being social again.

You aren't near Binghamton by any chance are you? A friend of mine from college lives there and runs some sort of website of what's going on in Binghamton, when I am home tonight I will dig it up and link it if you want.

[poopyhead]

That's somthing I need to work on as I am not the most outgoing person. I just need to become involved more but it's so easy to just do nothing sadly. I don't know what it is. I have such a desire to change yet don't act on it.


I'm not an outgoing person either. last year I moved 800 miles to a new city in a new state where I knew no one. For 8 months I sat at home, did nothing, and became very very depressed. One day I had had enough and decided to change. I started going to church and 2 bars that catered to my demographic (liberal yuppie hipsters and lawyers/lawschool students). I made friends with several waitresses and people who went to the bars and have branched out from there.

look for bars that cater to people like you and have a trivia night. If you are like me and painfully shy, drink two beers then ask to join a team (I've never once been turned down). You get to meet new people and talk to them for 2 hours over a group activity which means that there is always something to talk about.

[scotty96LSC]

Are you kidding me? Bored in NYC?!
That is what I was thinking (Upstate New York has a lot of people as well as the city). There must be one person you could meet and hang with. Heck it might even be a girl.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get out there and live life.

[Abstract]

Try an online dating service.


What's the worst that can happen? You make a friend? Enemy? Perhaps she has hot friends? Sweet. Get laid. Three-some? Four-some!?!


Uh......back on topic, try getting a flatmate your age rather than live alone. You may all get along really well, and make friends with his/her friends. Three-some? Four-some? Five-some!!

[notjustjay]

Dude, I need to get myself invited to Abstract's parties.

Another idea: take up geocaching (http://www.geocaching.com). :D Gets you outdoors, exploring the parks and areas of the city, and if you choose to interact with others, it's a pretty universally friendly community. And all tech-geeky too, which I like.

[sanPietro98]

In all seriousness...

Find a church. In addition to Masses or Services, they often have activities, volunteer opportunities, etc.

(Please no flames -- I don't want this thread to turn into another anti-religion discussion. I'm just trying to be helpful.)

[Iscariot]

Invite who is where I am having trouble.

When I first moved to Toronto I used meetup.com (http://www.meetup.com/) to meet people who had similar interests.

[Dagless]

Everythings better when you share it with someone else. I found recently that now all my friends are either working fulltime or in their final (and therefore busiest) year of university that I only see my family. I used to love this whole area but now the people I share it with no longer want to or can afford to do anything - it's just a big load of nothing.

All I can suggest is hunting out people your own age, even though I know how hard that can be (everyone around here is either under 12, my siblings or over 40).

[Surely]

When I first moved to Toronto I used meetup.com (http://www.meetup.com/) to meet people who had similar interests.

I second that recommendation. I just started going to meetup events here in Los Angeles. So far, so good. Before I moved to LA, I was used to going out with a large group of my friends, but I don't know many people here. So this is helpful.

Even if you don't end up becoming friends outside of the meetups, at least you have the meetups to go to and socialize at.

Actually, I'm meeting some people for drinks this evening for happy hour that I met at a meetup event last weekend...... Three-some? Four-some? Five-some!! ;) Abstract's dirty (yet intriguing) ideas are creeping into my post......:D

[michael.lauden]

Since moving to NY, I don't know how to have fun. No longer do I have close friends as I had back in CO, but merely work acquaintances. Everyone I work with are the age of my parents, married and have kids my age. They are nice but yea... I don't do anything on the weekends anymore as I have no one to go out with.

The highlight of my weekend is to sleep in to 12.

I try to go do stuff like go to Albany, go on bikerides but its just not fun anymore

How do I get out of this rut?

definitely go get a haircut, go get a nice shirt and go walk around. find a hot babe.

there is a million things to do in NY - if we knew your age bracket then we could help you better (i think atleast)

i know that i fly to FL every month to visit and it helps a lot. if you dont have much to do why not fly back every once in a while?

why not have company come up?

learn something. go buy a laser pointer that burns people's skin and put it on your bike to aim at people.

get a membership at a gym.

build something

go to every public outing in your area to meet people.

become a MacRumors G5

idk there is a million things to do

[chrmjenkins]

I'm in somewhat the same boat as you duke. I moved out to LA last June and I'm still looking to make anything more than friendly work acquaintances. I might try meetup or something similar :D

[jarjarblinks]

OK a thought just struck me, and it's really pretty abstract. I'll try to articulate myself as best as I can.

It's true that you may feel that you're alone, and things seem really banal.

However, my take on this issue that its really as banal as things are. The individual can light his own bulb and sometimes - not exactly a miracle so, to speak - but things can happen.

Several occurances have happened in my life, and if I had not made myself "rise to the occasion", it would have flitted by me.

Sometimes, on the train, or even an innocuous chance occurance meeting in the lift, or even as recently as 3 days back when I was handed a flyer by a lovely lady - I just put on my brightest megawatt smile and after the initial purpose was over, just struck up a random conversation. I normally pop the champagne by giving a compliment, say, the shoes she's wearing, whether we know mutual friends in common, where she came from etc. In the event of the flyer lady, I asked her about the event she was promoting and it led to us adding each other on Facebook the very evening I was home. Several times, I met some really interesting ladies along the way and we developed a serious friendship - a random encounter that yielded a real friendship.

I'm not saying that this is totally restricted to interesting ladies or romantic encounters per se, it could be in other areas of ur life. I'ld strike up a random conversation with anyone if I had the bandwidth to just take things a lil slowly at that very opportune moment. Going by this logic, I've spoken to a few caucasion tourists to my city and there was even this once I ended up (with another friend) spending the evening having drinks and a lengthy conversation with 2 Danish ladies who were here on vacation.

All in all it adds up, the little bits, to have a more pleasant environment around my life. This does not replace other forms of entertainment in a whole - sale package definitely, but it does add the odd gloss and glitter around.

So all in all, what I'm saying is that perhaps, if we flick our internal switch on, sometimes we can be interesting and people will want to know us, rather than us despondently thinking about the banality around us.

Well, but thats me, and my outlook on life. To keep both eyes open for the little surprises that life throws at me. :)

[waiwai]

1. Hang out at Starbucks or local coffee shops, strike convo's with customers - some very interesting people there.

2. Enroll in some rec/leisure programs @ the local Y

3. Invest in some videogames

[Go Dog Go]

In my experience, if you do interesting things, people will want to do them with you.

I surf a lot, I camp, I rock climb, and I like to ballroom dance. You can always find people that want to do these things. Usually the type of people that surf and camp and people I would be friends with anyways. If you don't do anything exciting, it's going to be tough.

[maestro55]

1. Hang out at Starbucks or local coffee shops, strike convo's with customers - some very interesting people there.


Yes, one time I was in a Starbucks doing some homework for class and a guy sits down and strikes up a conversation. I thought he was interested in the tech stuff that I was studying but after a bit the guy tried converting me to Christianity. I flattered him for a bit and then left.

OP: I have had the same feelings as you, certainly more recently that I am single and no longer go to Waco (the nearest city to me) on the weekends and so I rarely get to see my friends. However, I decided to get back involved more with my hobby (amateur radio) which I think turned out to be a good move as I am enjoying myself again. So if you have a hobby that can get you to meet new people in the area I should suggest getting back involved with it. Someone suggested meetup.com which is a good site for meeting groups of people with similar interests.

[Antares]

How do I get out of this rut?

I don't know if that's possible. Life ultimately leads to nothing but loss. You meet people, become friends...and they eventually move away to a different city. Family, friends, pets. They leave you. They move away. They die. What's the point of forming any close relationship if that ends up only being a fleeting thing? They're all eventually going to be gone from your life anyway...sometimes suddenly. Why even endure that?

Maybe the best thing would be to just get used to a solitary life. That way, you wouldn't have to deal with the feelings of loss over and over again. I don't know what's the correct answer. Maybe find something that makes you happy which doesn't involve others.

[Tomorrow]

...frankly, engineering is not near as glamorous as i would have hoped it would be which doesnt help my mindset either

Engineer?!? Holy cow, another one? :eek::eek::eek: Sorry, dude, now I know your pain. Even if you do try to engage your co-workers in a social setting outside the office, engineers aren't stereotypically the most social animals. After 15 years in the business I know this well.

But enough clowning around - I might suggest the obvious, i.e. put yourself into situations where (1) interesting people might be, and (2) there are enough "distractions" around worthy of sparking a conversation. Go to a park where people walk their dogs. Visit a car show, or something similar.

It's a lot easier for us to say it than for you to do it, I know that. I remember for the first year or two after I graduated college I didn't know what to do with all this free time I had - at the end of the work day, I just went home, and since there was no homework, I got into a rut of boredom. And I know from experience it's hard to climb your way out of it. Hang in there.

But as many others have supposed, I hope the real root of the issue isn't homesickness. I've never felt much of an attachment to "home," so I can't say what it feels like - but I imagine it's hard to overcome. I do wish you luck.

P.S. Antares, I'm a bit worried for you, is everything okay?

[Go Dog Go]

I don't know if that's possible. Life ultimately leads to nothing but loss. You meet people, become friends...and they eventually move away to a different city. Family, friends, pets. They leave you. They move away. They die. What's the point of forming any close relationship if that ends up only being a fleeting thing? They're all eventually going to be gone from your life anyway...sometimes suddenly. Why even endure that?

Maybe the best thing would be to just get used to a solitary life. That way, you wouldn't have to deal with the feelings of loss over and over again. I don't know what's the correct answer. Maybe find something that makes you happy which doesn't involve others.


You've got to be kidding me. We are only on this earth for so long, so you better make the best of your experiences. Are you going to want to die one day, thinking "Wow, I've made no impact on anyones life. I know nobody, have no friends, because they're all useless"...?

I hope not.

I am an engineer as well, but I am very social. Put me in just about any social setting and I can make friends.

You've just got to be confident with people. If you portray confidence, people like that. They are more comfortable around you.

Make decisions with certainty when you're in a group or trying to decide to do something. Don't say "Wellll, we could go to X, but what do you think?" Instead, say "Let's go do X".

We've only got one shot at life. It makes me sad when I see peopel that are afraid of social interaction, rejection, etc. Who cares? If someone rejects you, at least you know.

[Surely]

I don't know if that's possible. Life ultimately leads to nothing but loss. You meet people, become friends...and they eventually move away to a different city. Family, friends, pets. They leave you. They move away. They die. What's the point of forming any close relationship if that ends up only being a fleeting thing? They're all eventually going to be gone from your life anyway...sometimes suddenly. Why even endure that?

Maybe the best thing would be to just get used to a solitary life. That way, you wouldn't have to deal with the feelings of loss over and over again. I don't know what's the correct answer. Maybe find something that makes you happy which doesn't involve others.

Great attitude. You must be entertaining at parties.


P.S. FNC rots your brain.

[fotografica]

How do I get out of this rut?

Get out as much as possible and start building an offline life. I'll add another vote for volunteering..You not only help others,but you'll feel good doing so. And you will meet a lot of people. Whatever hobbies or activities that you enjoy,find out if there are any clubs or groups in your area for them (ie biking,photography,music etc). Join a gym or the local YMCA,get involved in sports..You also might want to look into martial arts.
Keep swinging..It isn't easy,but eventually you'll get a hit...

I don't know if that's possible. Life ultimately leads to nothing but loss. You meet people, become friends...and they eventually move away to a different city. Family, friends, pets. They leave you. They move away. They die. What's the point of forming any close relationship if that ends up only being a fleeting thing? They're all eventually going to be gone from your life anyway...sometimes suddenly. Why even endure that?

Maybe the best thing would be to just get used to a solitary life. That way, you wouldn't have to deal with the feelings of loss over and over again. I don't know what's the correct answer. Maybe find something that makes you happy which doesn't involve others.


I was feeling great,but after reading that I'm going to drive my car full speed into a bridge abutment. Don't ever volunteer for a suicide prevention hotline...

[Scarlet Fever]

surely there are some folk on MR who live in NYC you could catch up with?

[zelmo]

Upstate NY is about to quite literally blossom into a beautiful place. Grab a camera, hop on your bike, and start exploring. Have a great time. You'll meet people.

[Kardashian]

Aww, Dukey Dukey! :(

Just a few suggestions:


Join some sports related team: whether it be biking related or otherwise
Join a gym - you'll meet people there for sure
You say your work mates are close to your parents age, does that mean they could have sons/daughters similar to your age?
Make a habit of maybe going for lunch on a Saturday afternoon in a cafe or a particular area, you'll get to know people that way, regulars and people who frequent or work in the cafe/area
I'm not sure how far away 'home' is, but take turns to go home one weekend, and bring your brothers or friends down to your place the next weekend - and go out! You'll make friends easier in a group, friends you can carry on with then your 'home' friends aren't around
Join a Social Networking site - for friendship or even dating. It gets you out of the house, right?


Out of curiosity, I know you're straight, but just how cute are you? (I hate you Lee :p)

Good luck. Don't be shy to meet people, I'm not saying this from a self-help book point of view, but I've always been popular and enjoy being in the thick of social events - its just weird starting out sometimes.

[Surely]

^^^^^ Shabbat Shalom :cool:

surely there are some folk on MR who live in NYC you could catch up with?

FYI: Upstate NY ≠ NYC

.....and don't call me surely.....

[Kardashian]

Great attitude. You must be entertaining at parties.


P.S. FNC rots your brain.

Babe, he ain't goin' to no parties! ;)

[Melrose]

You want fun? Challenge my brute!!!111 I will winn!!1 U cant beat me I have a dog and spear!!1 LOl llOl :D :D

Okay seriously...

I would encourage you to take up something in the outdoors - geocaching has been mentioned; That's a good idea. Try other outdoor stuff as well - biking, etc. You'll need to come to terms with your own company as well as make some new friends. Sign up for dance class at a local dance academy; do something physical.

[peter32892]

I also live in upstate. Where about do you live? What do you like to do for fun maybe I can suggest some places to go.

[Abstract]

*pushes peter32892 towards Dukebound and runs away*


Hi.

[mscriv]

It sounds like your rut is not just social in nature, but as you mention a lack of motivation. Remember the old Nike slogan, "Just Do It." Use the web and seek out things in your area that match up with your interests. The library, museums, sporting events, outdoor activities, art, theatre, etc. See if there are any group activities associated with your particular interests and go for it.

You mention your shy. Don't be afraid to play the "I'm new in town card." Don't be creepy or anything, but when in a social setting ask someone to tell you about the area or show you something. "Hey nice bike... I'm new in town are there any other really good trails to ride around here...? If your genuine, people will respond to you.

Okay volunteer work has been mentioned by several people, so let's get a little more specific. Habitat for Humanity is a program that builds houses for those in need. It's a group activity where you could meet a lot of other people. You could become a Big Brother with the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program and spend some time doing something fun with someone who needs a mentor. Your profile says you like things like basketball, snowboarding, working on your car etc. There are tons of things you could do with a little brother, bike rides, car shows, b-ball at the park, video arcade, movies, etc. If you do it in a public place you will meet other people while your there and maybe make more friends. The YMCA and Boys & Girls Club are always looking for volunteer coaches or something like that. And c'mon, ladies love a guy with a big heart who gives back to his community, so that won't hurt either. ;)

For Antares: I like your "glass is half full" style. You keep looking on the bright side of life my friend and don't give up on the antidepressants. :)

[dukebound85]

I also live in upstate. Where about do you live? What do you like to do for fun maybe I can suggest some places to go.

Im in the Schenectady area

It sounds like your rut is not just social in nature, but as you mention a lack of motivation. Remember the old Nike slogan, "Just Do It." Use the web and seek out things in your area that match up with your interests. The library, museums, sporting events, outdoor activities, art, theatre, etc. See if there are any group activities associated with your particular interests and go for it.

You mention your shy. Don't be afraid to play the "I'm new in town card." Don't be creepy or anything, but when in a social setting ask someone to tell you about the area or show you something. "Hey nice bike... I'm new in town are there any other really good trails to ride around here...? If your genuine, people will respond to you.

Okay volunteer work has been mentioned by several people, so let's get a little more specific. Habitat for Humanity is a program that builds houses for those in need. It's a group activity where you could meet a lot of other people. You could become a Big Brother with the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program and spend some time doing something fun with someone who needs a mentor. Your profile says you like things like basketball, snowboarding, working on your car etc. There are tons of things you could do with a little brother, bike rides, car shows, b-ball at the park, video arcade, movies, etc. If you do it in a public place you will meet other people while your there and maybe make more friends. The YMCA and Boys & Girls Club are always looking for volunteer coaches or something like that. And c'mon, ladies love a guy with a big heart who gives back to his community, so that won't hurt either. ;)

For Antares: I like your "glass is half full" style. You keep looking on the bright side of life my friend and don't give up on the antidepressants. :)
Thanks for the thoughts. You are right, I just need to do it. Easier said than done but I have to do it if I want different results

[dmr727]

Take flying lessons!

[dukebound85]

Take flying lessons!

Now that is somethng I have always wanted to do. Just a matter of affording it lol

[leekohler]

Now that is somethng I have always wanted to do. Just a matter of affording it lol

I used to skydive, Duke. I don't think flying lessons are much more expensive than that. Skydiving was relatively cheap, actually. A lot of the people I jumped with also had their pilot's licenses.

[dmr727]

Flying isn't cheap by most standards, but you don't have to put all the money up front either. You can just pay as you go along. Maybe just take an introductory lesson, see what you think, and go from there?

[jarjarblinks]

Learn a European language?

Helps if you cross the Atlantic. :p

[Kardashian]

Learn a European language?

Helps if you cross the Atlantic. :p

I can help with Welsh, Hebrew.. and um, English.

[Abstract]

I can help in gibberish, but I don't think learning any language will help you meet people. Your only hope is to take a language course at a proper school, where other people are learning as well. Taking a class is definitely the easiest way to meet people.

[AlexStenberg]

start skateboarding

[GGGUUUYYY]

start skateboarding

That would be very difficult to do when your in your 20's if you've never done it before.





Try a concert/festivals.

[Kardashian]

So Duke, any progress? :)

[dukebound85]

So Duke, any progress? :)

went to a billiards hall with some coworkers last night for a couple hrs which was pretty fun

i am also going to sign up for a softball league through my work

i do like the idea of geocaching though. that sounds really cool. is there a nice app for the iphone concerning this?

[sushi]

I am VERY homesick.
I think everyone goes through this at one point in their lives. The key is to move through it.

In my experience, if you do interesting things, people will want to do them with you.
Sage advice.

If you look, there may even be a local singles organization of some sort.

Volunteering, clubs, sports leagues and hobbies are a wonderful way to meet people. If you like reading, your local library may have activities that will interest you.

Find something that you are passionate about and pursue it. :)

Life ultimately leads to nothing but loss.
Yes it does.

Instead, focus on life and living it. :)

Remember the old Nike slogan, "Just Do It."
That's the bottom line.

Flying isn't cheap by most standards, but you don't have to put all the money up front either. You can just pay as you go along. Maybe just take an introductory lesson, see what you think, and go from there?
What a wonderful suggestion. :)

Of course I am a bit biased. ;)

Duke you are located in a beautiful part of the country. Great way to sight see. Just think, you could fly home for a visit once you get your license.

went to a billiards hall with some coworkers last night for a couple hrs which was pretty fun

i am also going to sign up for a softball league through my work

i do like the idea of geocaching though. that sounds really cool. is there a nice app for the iphone concerning this?
Billiards/Pool halls can be fun places. I enjoy visiting them with my friends when I am back in the states. Fun way to meet folks.

Softball league sounds good!

[iCantwait]

hit on workmates kids (the ones your age)

[notjustjay]

i do like the idea of geocaching though. that sounds really cool. is there a nice app for the iphone concerning this?

Sweet, I got a bite :D

There are a few apps out there. One is from Groundspeak (the owners of the Geocaching.com website) but they charge $10 for it. There are others, I have friends who are very happy with a couple of tools in particular, I can find out for you if you're interested.

I love this game because it appeals to the tech/geek engineering side as well as gets me outdoors and exploring -- and who doesn't like a good old-fashioned treasure hunt? Great fun, kids and families love it too. Especially if you like logic puzzles, and cloak and dagger spy stuff. Of all the hobbies/interests I've taken up in my lifetime, this is the one that's lasted longest. :)