Who would win in a fight between Bill Gates & Steve Jobs?

[MacRy]

I know that it's really puerile but it's friday afternoon and i'm at work when I should be in the pub enjoying myself.

So come on.....bare knuckle pikey style fighting - who would be the victor?

[JesseJames]

My initial response would be that Steve would wipe the floor with Billy.
But pondering it, I think Bill might have some serious geek fight in him. Like knocking off his glasses with a slap and then watching him turn red and go on a nerd rampage. Fists flailing in a girlish way trying to swim into Steve.
I bet Steve would keep his distance and try to be cat-like about it. Just like a boxer. Trying to get good shots in.

[Counterfit]

My initial response would be that Steve would wipe the floor with Billy.
But pondering it, I think Bill might have some serious geek fight in him. Like knocking off his glasses with a slap and then watching him turn red and go on a nerd rampage. Fists flailing in a girlish way trying to swim into Steve.
I bet Steve would keep his distance and try to be cat-like about it. Just like a boxer. Trying to get good shots in. I think Steve would win, just because Gates has screwed Apple over for so long.

[takao]

i guess bill gates would win because he would use some unfair tricks ;)

[sethypoo]

i guess bill gates would win because he would use some unfair tricks ;)

Yeah, he'd probably start some sort of monopoly, using his other executives as weapons, while forcing Steve to fight on his own.

Yet, I still think Steve would win. :p :D

[Nny]

i guess bill gates would win because he would use some unfair tricks ;)

Yeah, I see Gates as the type to pull your hair, bite you, throw sand in your eyes, and kick below the belt.

[idkew]

i think bill would win by default.

steve would sit down and pull a ghandi.

[sonofslim]

that's a total no-brainer. jobs would mop the floor with gates. i'm not even saying that out of mac loyalty; just look at the two guys. gates must weigh a buck twenty, soaking wet. jobs isn't all ripped or anything, but he's taller so you know he's got the reach. plus he gives keynote speeches in jeans and sneakers, which means he's ready to throw down on a moment's notice.

and think about who's got their back. ballmer? sure, he's got the size, but we've all seen the video and we know he doesn't have the moves to back it up. you've got to float like a butterfly and sting like etc., not flail like a monkey. jonathan ives, on the other hand: you can tell he totally works out, plus he's british, so he's probably cracked at least one skull at some soccer match or pub brawl back in the day.

survey says? jobs with the KO in round 3.

[tmornini]

So come on.....bare knuckle pikey style fighting - who would be the victor?

I think it entirely depends upon whose side Larry Ellison joins!

That guy is twice as competitive as the other two put together, and likely
twice as mean as well! :-)

Where in the *HELL* is Oracle for OS X?

[Apple Hobo]

and think about who's got their back. ballmer? sure, he's got the size, but we've all seen the video and we know he doesn't have the moves to back it up.

I don't know about Ballmer. He might drop some serious Kung Fu (ok, maybe drunken bar fighting) on Jobs! The guy looks like he's on a serious crystal meth jag when he gives those Microsoft rallies.
http://bellsouthpwp.net/g/s/gserv2/TempItems/ballmer1.jpg

http://bellsouthpwp.net/g/s/gserv2/TempItems/ballmer2.jpg

[leftbanke7]

Bill Gates is sneaky. I wouldn't hold it past him to be a 25th degree blackbelt in some martial art. If I were an uber geek, I'd make sure to be trained in some sort of self defense.

Ballmer looks like he would get winded sliding his tray down the salad bar line.

With Steve's temper, while his rage would help him some, his lack of technique due to his rage could hurt him in the long run.

[virividox]

steve, he has a reality distortion field around him, bill would never be able to land a clean shot

[sonofslim]

Apple Hobo, that last pic you posted of Ballmer -- in the black suit -- he really, really looks like Danny DeVito as the Penguin in Batman Returns.

[Inspector Lee]

plus he gives keynote speeches in jeans and sneakers, which means he's ready to throw down on a moment's notice.

I 100% back this. However... I see Gates throwing 99% of the punches in this scrap. They would be of the crowd-pleasing variety - poor form, nothing behind them, but wicked-looking from the nosebleed seats. Discarding any notion of defense, Gates would leave himself vulnerable for a knockout after every one. But Jobs would hesitate on the knockout blow. He'd often wind up and then realizing his form was not aesthetically perfect, pull back. In between rounds, Mac fans in attendance would be a nervous wreck. There would be mutterings of "here we go again..." According to the final stat sheet, Jobs throws and connects on 6 punches (dubbed "iHaymakers") but they are so spread out that Gates is able to recover from every one. As a result, the fight ends with both men standing. In the post-fight press conference, Jobs refers to each of his iHaymakers as "insanely great" but the general public declares Gates the winner because he threw 99% of the punches.

[jackieonasses]

i think the fight would be severely un-even (steve jobs better) so in humilation bill reaveals his sexuality by ripping his pants off, isnt that how he got the monopoly in the first place?

[yamabushi]

Gates would win by cheating. A dozen goons would tackle Jobs. Some would claim that Gates should be disqualified and Jobs should win by default. People would argue about who actually won for decades.

[Bob21]

I think Jobs would get off to a good start - using a flurry of martial arts moves on Gates. Gates, not having seen some of these moves before, would try to copy Jobs but makes a bad job of it and land on his a$$ :o

Gates would then make a quick phone call (buying the referee association) and would win by cheeting :eek:

Hmm, sounds like it would make a good Celebrity Deathmatch episode.

[bousozoku]

After only a minute or two of executive sweating, Steve Jobs would fall dead due to Bill's legendary stench. ;)

[atari1356]

Steve and Bill would battle it out in an ugly but fairly even match for an exhausting 30 minutes.

Then Linus Torvalds would show up, push each of them to the ground and mumble something about "corporate whores" and "open source". :D

[Sun Baked]

Yeah, I see Gates as the type to pull your hair, bite you, throw sand in your eyes, and kick below the belt.I see I'm not the only one who sees Billy coming out swinging like a girl.

But when you're a billionaire you tend to get steroid-filled muscle to do this type of work anyway.

[Fukui]

Before the fight starts Bill would threaten to cancel office for Mac unless he licenced his fighting moves to Bill. Steve agrees to, but only in other fights, though a loop-hole in the licenence (from Bills Lawyer heritage) allows Bill to also use the techniques in the current one, and ends up a draw because Bill was able to use those fighting moves first cause steve didn't expect them. After the fight, a disgruntled swedish man flies by with a pie and slams it in Bills face causing bill to cry...poor boy.

[mactastic]

"Buy him out boys." :D

[voicegy]

Well, let's see...Here's Bill. And here's Steve. I know how I'd bet. ;)

[wdlove]

I say that Steve Jobs would win. He appears to be the more physically fit of the two. Steve has more charisma.

[BornAgainMac]

"Buy him out boys." :D

A Simpsons Fan! I created a quicktime of that clip. Very funny.

[question fear]

i picture steve jobs as uma thurman in kill bill, with bill gates as o-ren ishii.

"any of you ****ers bring up my chinese or american heritage, i collect your ****ing head."

[Gyroscope]

Balmer is a champ. He could use scare tactics, (cuz he is so ugly) and scare them all off before fight even could begin.

[Awimoway]

i picture steve jobs as uma thurman in kill bill, with bill gates as o-ren ishii.

"any of you ****ers bring up my chinese or american heritage, i collect your ****ing head."

You cite your movie, I'll cite mine. :D

[Harvey has challenged Butch to fight for control of the Hole-in-the-Wall gang.]
Harvey Logan: Guns or Knives?
Butch Cassidy: Neither?
Harvey Logan: Pick.
Butch Cassidy: I don't want to shoot with you Harvey.
Harvey Logan: [Draws a big knife] Anything you say, Butch.
[Butch walks over to Sundance]
Butch Cassidy: [in a low voice] Maybe there's a way to make a profit in this. Bet on Logan.
Sundance Kid: I would, but who'd bet on you?
Harvey Logan: Sundance, when we're done, and he's dead, you're welcome to stay.
Butch Cassidy: [low voice, to Sundance) Listen, I don't mean to be a sore loser, but when it's done, if I'm dead, kill him.
Sundance Kid: (low voice to Butch) Love to.
[waves to Harvey and smiles]
Butch Cassidy: No, no, not yet. Not until me and Harvey get the rules straightened out.
Harvey Logan: Rules in a knife fight? No rules.
[Butch immediately kicks Harvey in the groin. Harvey doubles over in pain.]
Butch Cassidy: Well, if there aint' going to be any rules, let's get the fight started. Someone count. 1,2,3 go.
Sundance Kid: [quickly] 1,2,3, go.
[Butch knocks Harvey out]
Flat Nose Curry: I was really rooting for you, Butch.
Butch Cassidy: Well thank you Flatnose, that's what sustained me in my time of trouble.

I see Bill as Butch and Steve as Harvey. Bill's very competitive, must win at all costs and Steve is a little gullible where Bill is concerned.

Besides, Steve's a pacifist. Bill, on the other hand, has no respect for life.

So Bill would win. But that doesn't make him a better man. :p

[kettle]

Steve and Bill would battle it out in an ugly but fairly even match for an exhausting 30 minutes.

Then Linus Torvalds would show up, push each of them to the ground and mumble something about "corporate whores" and "open source". :D

Then in a shock come back, Bill and Steve would grab the penguin - arm in arm and give him a wedgie to remember. Torvalds would be left with a rather clunky and sore user interface. :)

[PlaceofDis]

stevie

[womencantsail]

How bout neither wins. Then nobody is happy, just like it is now.

[Awimoway]

…just like it is now.

I think a lot of Windows fanatics would take issue with this claim.

[womencantsail]

Windows people happy about something? I think not. I'm mainly a Windows user (also have pretty decent experience with Macs, and limited experience with Linux (Mandrake)). And I don't see anybody jumping up and down in joy about the security holes in XP.

[idkew]

Besides, Steve's a pacifist.

at least someone else noticed this.

steve is a HIPPY.

[7on]

Yeah, Steve would just offer Bill some Acid, and being Bill's greedy little self he'll overdose.