some advise about women

[indifference]

There are two girls I am interested in. The first girl, I asked what kind of music do you like, she said opera and classical. I then told her, do you know that I can tell? She said how? I said I can hear it in your voice. I do also. She gave me her email address and wanted to go to a classical concert sometime. Another girl I liked before, but didn't tell her because people told me she was gay,but I told her the other day I liked her. We were together at an event and sat next to each other. One girl is classy the other is not so much. Should I just wait and see what happens, to me it doesn't matter which one I were to go with.

There is this thing at school that when they hand out wrong emails and phone numbers it's quite possible that they don't like you. I didn't exchange contact info with one girl, but the girl that likes classical and opera did give me her right email address.

[edesignuk]

There is this thing at school that when they hand out wrong emails and phone numbers it's quite possible that they don't like you.
That's not just at school :eek:

[indifference]

That's not just at school :eek:

heh so that's a good thing she gave me the right email?? Would you believe that to me it wouldn't matter which girl I went with? The problem is the classy girl may want to go back to New York, I want to stay in Seattle. Would I convice her that the Seattle Symphony, one of the best int he world, is a really good and to stay to be with me, since she gave me the right email *smile*

[munkle]

. Should I just wait and see what happens, to me it doesn't matter which one I were to go with.


Nice to see you're not picky! ;) :p

[Veldek]

I can tell you one thing. If you don’t decide you won’t get anyone. I had this so often when I was younger that when I liked one girl and didn’t tell her because I was too shy and there was another girl that liked me but I didn’t take her because I liked the other, then I finally ended alone. So if it really doesn’t matter to you, take the chance. But whatever you do, don’t date both at the same time!

[indifference]

I can tell you one thing. If you don’t decide you won’t get anyone. I had this so often when I was younger that when I liked one girl and didn’t tell her because I was too shy and there was another girl that liked me but I didn’t take her because I liked the other, then I finally ended alone. So if it really doesn’t matter to you, take the chance. But whatever you do, don’t date both at the same time!

heh I had known that.

[jsw]

But whatever you do, don’t date both at the same time!Very true. Trust me. It never turns out good. If you're lucky enough to find more than one woman who you really like who really likes you, and you can't decide between them, no matter how hard you try... then decide anyway. Flip a coin. Consult a mystic. Whatever. Just pick one.

And, for what it's worth, at your (assumed) age, there's about a 0.001% chance that you've already met someone with whom you could happily grow old. I wouldn't lose too much sleep over your decision. And I wouldn't base your decision on who might or might not be moving.

[indifference]

hey so anyway, what if I don't want to go back to New York?

[jsw]

hey so anyway, what if I don't want to go back to New York?
Date the one you feel most comfortable with. If that one moves, deal with the issue then. Don't base a decision on the possibility that maybe one of them might move. It might even be better to choose the one who might be moving, because, if you don't, and she does, you might always wonder "what if", but if you do choose her and it doesn't "click", you won't ever wonder about it again.

[indifference]

Date the one you feel most comfortable with. If that one moves, deal with the issue then. Don't base a decision on the possibility that maybe one of them might move. It might even be better to choose the one who might be moving, because, if you don't, and she does, you might always wonder "what if", but if you do choose her and it doesn't "click", you won't ever wonder about it again.

What if i told you, that I will never go to the east coast again, not even New York to be with a girl that I may be most compatible with. I would rather stay in Seattle or San Fran. I am from Washington DC and I hate the people.

Maybe date the one I can get... an email is just a sign.

[jsw]

What if i told you, that I will never go to the east coast again...
I'd still say you're way too worried about a possible future event. And trust me, if you found the right woman, you'd move anywhere.

[indifference]

I'd still say you're way too worried about a possible future event. And trust me, if you found the right woman, you'd move anywhere.

yea I know, I have to see how good she is with email, anyway, maybe she will be at the orchestra concert.

[Lyle]

hey so anyway, what if I don't want to go back to New York?WTF?Ah, so I'm not the only one who stumbled over that transition. Here, the author is commenting on his inner struggle when considering his affection for the "classy girl", who gave our hero her legitimate e-mail address but who may want to leave Seattle and move back to New York. He prefers classy girl, but has vowed never to return the East Coast, even if it means losing out on a potential soul mate.

And therein lies the dilemma. Should he swallow his pride and take a chance on love in the Big Apple? Or should he instead settle for the crypto-lesbian, who is less classy but who seems more likely to remain in the Seattle area? Stay tuned.

[Abstract]

hey so anyway, what if I don't want to go back to New York?

Yeah, don't base your decision on something that's going to happen 3 years from now.

Who knows....maybe she'll change her mind in the meantime. Also, you're deciding on who to date. What makes you think it's a sure thing that this relationship lasts 3 years? You're dating. You're testing out people to see which girl is most compatible with you. This relationship may only last a few months, no matter whom you choose, because neither of them may pass the compatibility test.

[emw]

And, for what it's worth, at your (assumed) age, there's about a 0.001% chance that you've already met someone with whom you could happily grow old. I wouldn't lose too much sleep over your decision. And I wouldn't base your decision on who might or might not be moving.According to his profile, he's 26. Although based on the post, I would have assumed younger (referencing the "school activity" thing).

At 26, you probably do need to consider the potential future ramifications to some degree, but if this "classy" woman is truly someone with whom you'd like to become more acquainted, then go for it. Although if these are "school" events, and you're 26, I am assuming she's also somewhere close to that age, and not something like 19, in which case pondering your future with her is probably not necessary.

[indifference]

yes I agree with the first last two posts, but I will never go to new york, not even for this girl. I thought she and i were really compaitble, but I would not go there for here. Even if she were my soul mate. I have decided to become a radiologist and i want to work before at the Medical Center in the UW. i would rather do that, than go to New York. I already am about to have an interview anyway in a few weeks. I would rather have a job than a girl friend. I also look at it this way, if she can't be with me in Seattle, she probably doesn't really want to be with me. Giving me the right email address is not the automatic, it's just a sign.

[Abstract]

All this because she gave you an accurate email?

And I'll be a Medical Physicist in a few years, and there are lots and lots of places to get a job, even in NY. Its not the end of the world if you don't get that particular job. Its harder to find a girl you're completely compatible with, then a job as a "radiologist". ;)

What did you plan on doing as a Radiologist, specifically? Is it treatment with LINACS? Sorry, but sometimes different terms (Radiologist, Radiotherapists, etc), have different meanings in different places.

[mouchoir]

yes I agree with the first last two posts, but I will never go to new york, not even for this girl. I thought she and i were really compaitble, but I would not go there for here. Even if she were my soul mate. I have decided to become a radiologist and i want to work before at the Medical Center in the UW. i would rather do that, than go to New York. I already am about to have an interview anyway in a few weeks. I would rather have a job than a girl friend. I also look at it this way, if she can't be with me in Seattle, she probably doesn't really want to be with me. Giving me the right email address is not the automatic, it's just a sign.

I think you are missing the point some of these posters are making, and focusing on entirely the wrong thing.

You need to get a date first, then worry about that and whether you'll be lucky enough to get a second date.

Not about what city you'll end up in...

You are taking this far too seriously, to the extent I'm beginning to think this is a complete wind up. You will totally freak any girl out if you were to discuss this with them before you have even had a date.

[Raid]

I think you are missing the point some of these posters are making, and focusing on entirely the wrong thing.

You need to get a date first, then worry about that and whether you'll be lucky enough to get a second date.
That's why I think he should ask them both out! Go out on dates with each of them, and get to know them better. Then after a few dates with each girl decide which one is working out, or which you feel more compatible with. The first few dates are usually nothing more than interviews...some get more involved than others, but that's for you to decide. ;)

[indifference]

All this because she gave you an accurate email?

And I'll be a Medical Physicist in a few years, and there are lots and lots of places to get a job, even in NY. Its not the end of the world if you don't get that particular job. Its harder to find a girl you're completely compatible with, then a job as a "radiologist". ;)

What did you plan on doing as a Radiologist, specifically? Is it treatment with LINACS? Sorry, but sometimes different terms (Radiologist, Radiotherapists, etc), have different meanings in different places.

hey that email thing was actually a joke, and probably she did because it didn't come back, so that's a good shot. It's a question of how good or bad she is with it, like if I have to actually email her agian to let her know who i was. and I have a BS degree and an interview there in a few weeks, in the hospital. My plan is to work and then go take classes later on. You can take classes at discounts and that way I could continue my education. I want to go into reserach. I somehow just have to find housing.

To me it wouldn't matter which girl I went with, but the girl did give me the right address and so that's a start. Hey I think ahead anyway, so that's a start right. That I could tell she liked opera and classical music, just like I do. It may not be a date, but she didn't give me the wrong address. Hey this sounds crazy but I'd rather work in that hospital than be with this girl in a place like new york, I really don't want to go back. If she loves me, she will stay in Seattle, maybe she will... We will have to see if she goes to the first classical concert or not.

[Jdm_rsx]

i have a headache after reading this whole thing however
i got one bit of advice for you

let me introduce you to the clubrsx / birds and bees section

http://forums.clubrsx.com/forumdisplay.php?f=145

its more teens - matured ppl on there

they offer great advice as well

and i still have no clue what your talking about..

can you clear things up a bit?

what is it that you REALLY REALLY want?

what r u lookin to achieve?

radiologist? an tech?

logist usually means doctor..in my case....

rad tech can find a job anywhere in the USA..i mean ANYWHERE.....its in demand just like nursing..why worry?

enjoy

[rogerw]

treat em mean - keep em keen!

[Lacero]

I go by the T&A principle. If they have a nice T and a nice A, they are the ones you go after. Try to avoid girls with a butter face, but you already instinctively know that. Good luck!

[Blue Velvet]

I go by the T&A principle. If they have a nice T and a nice A, they are the ones you go after. Try to avoid girls with a butter face, but you already instinctively know that. Good luck!

What a smoothie... :rolleyes:

A completely crap piece of advice.

[Lacero]

T&A = Temperment and Austerity. Yes I am a smoothie. :)

Why would you say its a piece of crap advice?

[wdlove]

yes I agree with the first last two posts, but I will never go to new york, not even for this girl. I thought she and i were really compatible, but I would not go there for here. Even if she were my soul mate. I have decided to become a radiologist and i want to work before at the Medical Center in the UW. i would rather do that, than go to New York. I already am about to have an interview anyway in a few weeks. I would rather have a job than a girl friend. I also look at it this way, if she can't be with me in Seattle, she probably doesn't really want to be with me. Giving me the right email address is not the automatic, it's just a sign.

If you are looking forward to being a radiologist, you should put your concentration there. To become a physician and them do a radiology residency will take a lot of your time. You should just date the girl that you like and see where the relationship goes. Time has a way of working things out.

[Blue Velvet]

T&A = Temperment and Austerity. Yes I am a smoothie. :)

Why would you say its a piece of crap advice?

You certainly are a smoothie – you're the talented but modest fellow who speaks the language of love... (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=1231444&#post1231444)

Somehow, I don't recall Temperment and Austerity being a particularly universal definition of T&A.

Austerity? Not exactly what most girls want to hear either...

[Lacero]

omigod BV, were you stalking me? :eek:

[Blue Velvet]

omigod BV, were you stalking me? :eek:

Stalked by a demi-goddess?

You wish...


:D

[obeygiant]

this thread is stupid. I'm surprised it hasnt been moderated.

[blackfox]

jesus christ...this thread is a little disturbing...

To the original poster:

How old are you? In any case, you seem to be putting the cart ahead of the horse here...as others have mentioned, just go on a date before you start contemplating uprooting your life for anyone (generally a poor idea, anyway imo). And for the love of God, don't mention any of these ruminations to said women (or any future object-of-fancy), as although exact responses are difficult to guess, they will probably be bad.

You do live in one of the largest cities on the west coast, so it's not like there aren't plenty of possibilities, so don't sweat the future, just try and have a good time. It is not rocket-science. Good luck.

BTW, what in the hell is a "butter face"?

[Brize]

Try to avoid girls with a butter face, but you already instinctively know that. Good luck!

What's a butter face?

[Blue Velvet]

this thread is stupid. I'm surprised it hasnt been moderated.

Hey, lighten up...
You don't have to read it or participate.
It's not hurting anyone. After all, you don't come here for rumors anymore, remember? (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=1206872#post1206872)

It's an interesting topic and is important to the individual who started it.
People were trying to give good advice... and much of it was helpful, so where's the harm in that?

[Lacero]

What's a butter face?

You know, I think I'm already in trouble with the ladies. I will respectfully decline to give the definition. Perhaps some other adventurous soul can elucidate on the meaning of that term.

[Blue Velvet]

What's a butter face?


Butter Face - as used in the following situation: "That girl's got a Butter Face - everything about her is kickin' "but her face."

from
http://www.phillytown.com/glossary.htm


As I said: smoooooooth...

[munkle]

A quick peek on Google provides:

Butter Face - as used in the following situation: "That girl's got a Butter Face - everything about her is kickin' "but her face."

Or referred to as 'Baywatch body, Crimewatch face' amongt my friends. We were younger then! :p



Edit: Beat me Blue - I guess this google thing isn't such a secret anymore!

[Brize]

Thanks BV. I wonder which genius thought of that one. :rolleyes:

[Mantat]

Gosh.. I dont even know where to start!

First I think everyone in here can say that its obvious that there is no love involved here. You simply want a date and dont know which one to pick.

Knowing this, it is obvious that this relationship cant last more than a few weeks.

So my advice is just to go with the easiest one to get. You seem like someone without much experience in girl-getting, so this would at least give you some maturity and experience for the moment when you are going to meet 'THE' girl...

You seem to put your job first and foremost, this is fine, its your choice and you base your decision to stay on that fact, telling us that 'if she loves you enough, she will stay without'. On the other hand, you arent willing to go with her in N-Y. Seems, like you are looking for unidirectional love dude! If this is clearly what you think/hope, you have some serious problem!

I dont know your background and experience with girls so I cant comment much, but one thing I know: people who are looking for love but not able to give it cause a lot of harm to the lovers. So you better think about that.

So basicaly what you need to do:
- Think about what you want from a girl and what you are ready to give (money isnt the solution!)
- get experience, meet girls, shop around. This will help you see that there are a lot of girls availlable, how to get to them and teach you want you like.

I cant stress enough how important the second point is. In my teens, I thought that I wanted to be with a pornstar lookalike. So I dismissed every girl who didnt have the body of a godess. I kept that standard for a few years and eventually slept/dated/met a few (ehh.. many). It was fun, but it all stoped when I met my current girlfriend (2.5years now). She is the total opposite of every girl I met, yet I love her the most (Oky, she is a pretty girl and isnt fat, still she isnt the same caliber as the others). I was able to love her because I understood that what I needed wasnt a top model but more like a girl like her. Since then, I havent had any remorse or regrets. Experiences (good and bad) is the only thing that will allow you to make good decision, and since you dont have much right now, work on it! :-)

Good luck!

[Brize]

she is a pretty girl and isnt fat, still she isnt the same caliber as the others).

:eek:

Is she aware of your thoughts in this regard?

[ChrisWB]

She is the total opposite of every girl I met, yet I love her the most (Oky, she is a pretty girl and isnt fat, still she isnt the same caliber as the others). I was able to love her because I understood that what I needed wasnt a top model but more like a girl like her.
I understand what you're saying, but this quote really cracked me up. I can just imagine it.

"You know, dear, you're not the same caliber I'm used to--that is, you're not a top model--but I've found out I didn't want a high-caliber girl, I really wanted a girl like you."

[Lacero]

I kept that standard for a few years and eventually slept/dated/met a few (ehh.. many). It was fun...

Your stock just went down dude. If I were a girl, and knowing this, I would avoid you like the plague (you can take that literally).
:)

[Les Kern]

I have to hurry..... I'm married with children. Women are without a doubt the most disgus... wait...shhhh, here she comes.

Women are wonderful. Such caring creatures, so, so.... wonderful. I mean it. Really.

[AmigoMac]

Someone said : Never trust a woman you can't throw out a window... it's up to you!

.
.
.

Oh wait, no matter what you pick up, it will be outdated within some months, and don't get a rev. a, it's known that they get a bug.

WTH are we talking about? :confused:

[absolut_mac]

There is this thing at school that when they hand out wrong emails and phone numbers it's quite possible that they don't like you. I didn't exchange contact info with one girl, but the girl that likes classical and opera did give me her right email address.

NEVER date any woman, regardless of all of her other positive attributes, who lies to you - i.e. wrong phone number etc!!! You'll always regret it if you do.

Date the one who's into classical music. She seems very straight forward and open. If you don't want to move to NYC with her, then she's obviously not *the one*. But that doesn't preclude you from enjoying her company in the meantime.

Besides, you never know. After you date her a while, you just might move to Timbuktu with her ;)

[Blue Velvet]

Someone said : Never trust a woman you can't throw out a window... it's up to you!

That's extremely offensive and grossly immature.

Why don't you stop for a minute and consider the violence done to women by men worldwide every single day.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

[AmigoMac]

That's extremely offensive and grossly immature.

Why don't you stop for a minute and consider the violence done to women by men worldwide every single day.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Don't take life too serious... no, I'm not ashamed... it doesn't imply violence directly, unless you live above the 3rd floor :p

[Xtremehkr]

There is this thing at school that when they hand out wrong emails and phone numbers it's quite possible that they don't like you.

Well, I would think that something like that is universal for men and women, unless the guy/gal is impaired to the point where recalling or passing on info is difficult.

Keep your options and mind open, it's rare that two people meet and feel exactly the same thing at the same time.

By your mid to late 20s everyone has had an experience or two they don't want to repeat, or at the very least kinda know what they are looking for. Taking that into consideration, there is no point in rushing anything. Dating around is really like shopping around to make sure that the investment (emotionally) you make is a wise(r) one. At the worst you only get a bad date. At best, you interacted with enough women to find someone who really suits your needs.

Women are not that much different to men when it comes to the goal of finding the best person they can get. Just remember that everyone (most of the time) are on their best behaviour, the faults come out later, and everyone has their faults.

I am just repeating age old advice though, it's never the same in real life when hormones and emotions come into play. Reliable advice can be found in friends who offer honest advice. Some friends are competitive when it comes to how they feel about how attainable a girlfriend you have, the competitive ones. A good friend who is impartial on matters like that can offer good advice as they are offering an outside perspective. Most of all, good luck.

[Mantat]

My current girlfriend met some of my ex, so she knows that she cant compete with them on the look and that I am with her for more than b00bs and sex. How many of you can say that? How many of you can say that they could sleep with any girl they want, still prefer their girlfriend? I know a lot of you will say that do, but I dont believe this! Until you are in front of a situation, you cant guess how you would react.

For exemple, all of my friend thought of me as the easy guy who would cheat on his girlfriend at the first occasion, yet I never did. Meanwhile, all my friends who were supposed to 'love' their girl cheated (in some way or the other) on her. And dont tell me that I hang out with a gang of bastard, in case you didnt know, more than 60% of the people (girls and boys) cheat on their partner, so get real!).

All this to say that fooling around opened my eyes on the important thing and I got over the 'physical' thing.

Lacero: I was always upfront with every girl I met. I never played shy guy or the'guy who never did it but will for you' card. Girls know within minute to who they are talking to and what to expect. Yet, they dont run! So knowing that I have been with a sampling of girl many times yours, I think I am doing something that works while you dont...

And since I am such a nice guy, I will give you an advice: girls dont want a bestfriend who respect them and play nice. I have never played that romantic and gentleman ****, insted, I project an image of total confidence, strenght and sens of humor. I am no Brad Pitt, yet I have been with girl as good as Jeniffer Aniston, so it must be something other than my look. That something is my attitude! I have friends who are way better looking than me, yet are unable to get a girl simply because they are affraid. They see me as some kind of heros while they can do the same, and so can everyone else in this forum if they would just stop acting like chicken and show some confidence!

When was the last time you talked to a stranger? When I was single, I made it my duty to talk to one stranger every day. The trick is to totaly not flirt with the girl, just have an interesting conversation. No need to ask for phone numbers or email. Just leave it as it is and go (make sure to remember the name of the girl and her face). If you do this every day, you will end up knowing more than 30 persons in a month. And that is when things are getting interesting. You will notice that now that you know them, you will keep bumping into them everytime you go out and eventually one thing will lead to another and they will be within your friend circle. Basicaly, what I want to say is: you are responsible of your own destiny, if you stay alone writing ridculously long post (like this one) you arent going to meet people, you have to do something. Girls tend to believe in destiny and fate, I dont. I try insted of arange destiny to make it fit my schedule.

Anyways, hope that all my l33t advices helped someone because it really works. Of course, you cant know until you try...

[AmigoMac]

Dr. Heart, that was a post...

Reading the whole thread ( including my posts :p ), I see this guy thinking about future, children and mother in law without knowing the girl at all... Live the life and let things run but do not force them... if you're meant to be together, you will be, but if things turn bad, accept it like it is... it's not the end of the world...

Edit: Remember, the worst thing you can hear from a girl is not: "We need to talk" but "I love you... like a friend". :D

[rueyeet]

indifference--Dude, even at 26 (heck, at ANY age) you don't have to treat every prospect for a date like it's going to lead to "forever".

Okay, you've got two good dating prospects. Date 'em both--just be sure that nobody thinks things are "exclusive". Be absolutely honest and forthright about that. If everybody's cool with that, and can handle it, it's all good. Or hang out with both of them without the "date" label on your outings. Whichever--when you know them both better, you'll be able to make better choices as to whether you'd like a more serious relationship.

That's when you can have the "let's be exclusive/go steady" (or whatever the kids are calling it these days) discussion with the one you find yourself drawn to. Or the "we need to talk/it's not you, it's me" discussion with both of them.

But you shouldn't be deciding who to date now based on what may or may not happen years later. A lot can change in three years--it's useless to write the script in advance for a relationship that's still only a potential. There's a big difference between merely having a date, being exclusive, and moving away together, y'know.

[vniow]

I think my brain just exploded.

[indifference]

well, I found out that she thought I was kidding about the classical thing, wel, I met her the next day, she is a junior, and I found out that she is going to stay now! She doesn't know I can cook yet.

[pseudobrit]

Don't forget to wear a rubber.

[indifference]

your talking about protection?

[7on]

No, a british eraser.

[PlaceofDis]

good luck with everything, hopes things work out for the best

[Lyle]

No, a british eraser.Or a galosh.

[Lyle]

Don't forget to wear a rubber.Yes, for the sake of the gene pool, please use protection.