Sure-Fire Way to Stop Telemarketers!

[Hemingray]

I thought this was pretty good... :D

Tired of telemarketers? The next time you get one on the phone, simply say "Hold on, please." Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up immediately would make each telemarketing call so time consuming those boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the telco beep beep beep (off the hook) tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

When you get ads in your phone or utility bill, why not include them with the payment? Let THEM throw the stuff away.

When you get those pre-approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that, most of them come with postage paid return envelopes, right? Well, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes! Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express, or a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their application back... blank! Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting all their junk back in the mail. Let's let them know what it's like to get junk mail, and best of all...THEY'RE paying for it! Twice!

Let's support our postal service. They say e-mail is cutting into their business and that's why they need to keep increasing postage. We can help!

[King Cobra]

:D From where did you get this, man?

My parents have made up a few puns to get around telemarketers. Usually my father comes up with funny lines. "Could you deliver to Sweden?" "[Acts like a yokel]" One time my mother responded "No" when she was asked if she was 18 or older. :eek:

I've been asked several times, and sometimes I say I am not old enough. I may have to try that one time. :p :rolleyes:

[scem0]

If your watching a war movie put the phone next to the speaker when there are people screaming and explosions etc. and tell the telemarketer that you are 'busy'.

[scem0]

Or the classic 'not knowing english act'. They call and all you have to do is say. 'No speaka da Engless.'

[Hemingray]

Originally posted by King Cobra
:D From where did you get this, man?

It came out of a forwarded email I got from my dad today at work. I'm not mean spirited by nature (usually :p ) but this is something I'm definitely looking forward to doing. Hah!

[buffsldr]

I like it. But, you know what is not as funny but effective. I told them to put me on their do not call list. after saying this about 5 times over 2 weeks, i stopped getting calls. its been 2months with no telemarketers.


but that was funny hemmi, thanks

[medea]

When I moved, since I had so many issues with our local provider Sprint, my girlfriend and I decided to skip out on the land-line and go with cellphones and cable for our internet. Needless to say I get no unsolicited phone calls.;)

[Sun Baked]

There's the old -

"What's your name/number, so I can call you back?"

followed immediately by.

"What are you wearing?"

Just act REALLY interested, where they live, what they look like, etc.

Nothing wrong with turning a telemarketing call into a prank perverted call. One that would normally get you arrested if you initiated it, they did after all - call you.

[cubist]

"I'm unemployed"

[Doctor Q]

My friend used this one, without even bothering to use a fake accent:

Telemarketer: I'm selling...
Victim: I'm sorry, I don't speak English.
Telemarketer: (long pause) OK, I'll call back.

Other ideas:

Telemarketer: I'm selling...
Victim: Let me call you back. What time do YOU eat dinner?

Telemarketer: I'm selling...
Victim: Hold on just a second. (Put hand over phone, but not enough to block the sound.) Honey, it's a telemarketer. Get the big whistle while I keep him on the line. (Take hand off phone.) OK, please continue.

Telemarketer: I'm selling...
Victim: Have you considered whether you have enough insurance? If you sign up today, I can get you a special deal...

And my personal favorite...

Telemarketer: I'm selling...
Victim: I'm sorry. I'm not here right now.

[mischief]

I do the most obnoxious thing possible:

I let them go through their whole script, sieze the conversation from them once they're out of lines, quickly critique their presentation, then I finnish with the dreaded : Please Take Me Off Your List." Which legally binds that Telemarketting agency to skipping my # for ten years .

There have only been a few instances where their script has pissed me off to the point of getting aggressive. There was a Policeman's Union type group that was making what amounted to threatening calls to raise money for something. I will not tolerate Extortion from police.

If an agency continues to call you after you have used the above magic words you have the right to request: The name of the Telemarketing Agency, The name of the Telemarketer, the Telemarketer's Supervisor's name, the name of the company that commissioned the calls and where they got your name. This info can be submitted on a form complaint letter to your State's Better Business Bureau.:D

[Doctor Q]

Originally posted by mischief There was a Policeman's Union type group that was making what amounted to threatening calls to raise money for something.
I used to get those too. I would politely decline while worrying that they might not "protect and serve" me as well if I was on their "won't donate" list. Then I read that groups asking for donations and claiming to be affiliated with your local police are fake - it's just a clever pitch from a group who gave themselves that name. Supposedly, the police and their representatives never solicit donations by phone, just as they are never supposed to solicit discounts from local merchants.

[Billicus]

You're all hilarious!

[bousozoku]

"Is Mr. so-and-so home?"
"I'm sorry but he's dead."
"uh...uhhhh"

[bunge]

So how do you stop SPAM?

[scem0]

LOL i just thought of a good one:

Tele: "Hi, I'm with telco and we are selling...."

Me: (Bursts out in song)" IN THE ARMS OF THE ANGELS, FLY AWAY FROM HERE!"

Tele: "Excuse me?!?"

Me: "Im a slaaaaaaaaaaaave for you!"

Tele: "Okay... Would you like to buy phone...."

Me: "I don't want no scrub,
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me,
Hanging out the passenger side,
Of his best friends ride,
Trying to hollar at me. "

Tele: Click....

Me: "AHAHAHHAHAHAHA"


:rolleyes: :D :D :D :D

[springscansing]

Originally posted by medea
When I moved, since I had so many issues with our local provider Sprint, my girlfriend and I decided to skip out on the land-line and go with cellphones and cable for our internet. Needless to say I get no unsolicited phone calls.;)

Only cell and cable? For some reason that's really hot...eee... I gotta get out more.

[Doctor Q]

Pretend you are a criminal:

Telemarketer: I'm selling...
Victim: I'm sorry. Mr. Smith isn't home right now. I'm just the burglar.

Telemarketer: I'm selling...
Victim: Can you leave the handcuffs off for another minute, officer? This guy on the phone wants to ask me something.


...or pretend you are an answering machine:

Victim: Hello?
Telemarketer: I'm selling...
Victim: Please leave your message at the sound of the tone. Beep.

[irmongoose]

One way to solve it all:

The anti-telemarketer counter-script (http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html)

Enjoy. :D



irmongoose

[ejb190]

You: Answer the phone with "Hello, is Steve there?"
Them: "Ah...., No"
You: "I'm sorry. I must have the wrong number." Click!

[zimv20]

i've had good success by asking them:

"do you mind if i record this conversation for quality control or training purposes?"

seriously, i did some research a couple years ago and found that Ameritech, my local phone service provider, put me on a "preferred customer" list when i signed up for service. of course, they don't ask you if you want to and don't tell you. and they don't take you off unless you request it (i.e. badger them).

it is illegal for Ameritech to sell that list, but they can give it away. and they do -- they give it to some 3rd-party (that is apparently still part of Ameritech), and that 3rd-party sells the list.

once i was removed, my telemarketing calls dropped about 80%, in my estimation.

also worthwhile is the "take me off your call list" technique, recommended by an earlier poster.

[zimv20]

i once got a call from peapod, the home delivery grocery service. it went like this:

"sir, where do you now shop for groceries?"

"i don't."

"how do you eat?"

"i have a vegetable garden and a cow."

<click>

oh, i live in the city.

[Pismo]

RING RING

Q: "Hello sir, may we speak to the person of the house who pays the phone bill?"

A: "We don't have a phone"...

CLICK!

[wilburpan]

Placing your name on a do not call list definitely works. Everytime I've moved, I've done two things:

1. Registered my new phone number on the master "do not call" list managed by the Direct Marketers Association .(http://www.dmaconsumers.org/cgi/offtelephonedave)

And yes, I do register by snail mail, rather than pay the $5 to register online.

2. Every time I get a telemarketer, I listen to the sales pitch, then ask to talk to a supervisor. I tell the supervisor to put my number on the do not call list. I do this EVERY time. Hanging up does not prevent future calls.

I repeat: do this EVERY time.

And if I need to relieve stress, I fib and tell the supervisor that I already asked their company to put me on the do not call list 6 weeks ago, and demand to know why I am still being called. Then I rant for a while until my stress is relieved. :D

Stick to these two strategies and you will not get calls at home after about 6-8 weeks. Be patient - the calls will stop. Making up witty comebacks is entertaining, but it will not stop the calls from coming.

And for anyone who questions as to whether this is worth it: I have never had to get an unlisted number, and I don't get any telemarketing calls at home.

[Doctor Q]

To get off conventional mailing lists: http://www.dmaconsumers.org/cgi/offmailinglistdave.

To get off e-mail lists: http://www.dmaconsumers.org/consumers/optoutform_emps.shtml.

[rainman::|:|]

Well a few of you guys *almost* got it right. Tell them to put you on their do-not call list, correct. However, it's good for one (1) year from the date you do this. and there's nothing that prevents them from selling your number. But definitely get the name of the company and calling center, if they'll give it, and write it down. According to the Telephone Consumer Protection Act of 1995 (TCPA, mention it a few times), if they call back within one year, they are fined something like $10,000, and you get $1000 of that. And whoever failed to take you off of the list gets fired.

That last part isn't in the law, but i've worked telemarketing, trust me it will happen.

:)
pnw

[scem0]

ohhhhhhhh, cash.......... I like :D.............

[irmongoose]

Originally posted by paulwhannel
Well a few of you guys *almost* got it right. Tell them to put you on their do-not call list, correct. However, it's good for one (1) year from the date you do this. and there's nothing that prevents them from selling your number. But definitely get the name of the company and calling center, if they'll give it, and write it down. According to the Telephone Consumer Protection Act of 1995 (TCPA, mention it a few times), if they call back within one year, they are fined something like $10,000, and you get $1000 of that. And whoever failed to take you off of the list gets fired.

That last part isn't in the law, but i've worked telemarketing, trust me it will happen.

:)
pnw


Ooooooooo... now that's information I can use. Too bad I don't live in the US... wonder if they have those kind of laws here in Japan.. hmmm... gotta go do some research.



irmongoose

[Durandal7]

My state's no-call list has been fairly effective so far.

[G4scott]

don't they have this device that when a telemarketer calls, you can push a button that makes a sound like the number that they're trying to call has been disconnected, so they remove your number? Just buy one for your neighborhood/apartment, and after about 6 weeks of use, just pass it to your neighbor...

[wdlove]

Yes, Put me on the no call List! :)

[scem0]

Originally posted by G4scott
don't they have this device that when a telemarketer calls, you can push a button that makes a sound like the number that they're trying to call has been disconnected, so they remove your number? Just buy one for your neighborhood/apartment, and after about 6 weeks of use, just pass it to your neighbor...

Where can one get this device in the 1st place?

[Doctor Q]

Now that we have all these great ideas for playing games with telemarketers, why would we want to get off their lists? :)

[Shrek]

Hmmmmm. . . I saw this (http://www.radioshack.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=CTLG&category%5Fname=&product%5Fid=43%2D2218) today on RadioShack.com:

[King Cobra]

At this day and age, the only advertized products on TV I buy are ones everyone recommends, and not some millionaire-wanna-be on TV. :rolleyes:

I'm not 18 just yet, but mischief's paragraph seems pretty important for me:

>I let them go through their whole script, sieze the conversation from them once they're out of lines, quickly critique their presentation, then I finnish with the dreaded : ["]Please Take Me Off Your List."

Granted, as paulwhannel mentioned it's a one year freedom, but what does mischief mean by out of lines, quickly critique their presentation?


I'm just sad reading all these jokes and I'm failing to come up with something original, even trying. :(

[mc68k]

save yourself $ on the telezapper:

http://www.flash.net/~carlton2/telemark.htm

http://www.hackcanada.com/canadian/phreaking/sit.txt

Tones 1 and 2 consist of a Low or High frequency. The third tone is always 1776.7hz for
easier decoding.

Tone 1; Tone 2;
Low: 913.8 Hz Low:1370.6 Hz
High: 985.2 Hz High:1428.5 Hz

[Sun Baked]

You cruel rude insensitive person he died while using your product, now you have the nerve to call back and try to sell him another one.

Take him off you list, or have your attorney call ours.

[Wash!!]

Originally posted by mc68k
save yourself $ on the telezapper:

http://www.flash.net/~carlton2/telemark.htm

http://www.hackcanada.com/canadian/phreaking/sit.txt

Tones 1 and 2 consist of a Low or High frequency. The third tone is always 1776.7hz for
easier decoding.

Tone 1; Tone 2;
Low: 913.8 Hz Low:1370.6 Hz
High: 985.2 Hz High:1428.5 Hz

Thank you!!Thank you!!Thank you!!Thank you!!:D
now I can get off their list

[ejb190]

What do you do about political parties? We have a really messy race for the house here in Indiana. The president has been in the area twice in less than 8 months to back one canadate (the Republican, of course).

This weekend I received FOUR calls from the State Republican Committee! One was a recording by Laura Bush (which they left on my answering machine!), but the rest were real people. I caught one of them by asking her if she had ever met the person she was promoting. When she answered no, I went on about how could she promote someone she had never met.

To me, mass mail and telemarketing for politics is the worse than trying to sell something!

[Doctor Q]

Originally posted by ejb190 What do you do about political parties? We have a really messy race for the house here in Indiana.
Same here in California, where the governor's race is a real mudfest.

To stay off the lists, you could simply not register to vote. That's the worst solution.

To have some fun, you could ask "gee, are convicted felons really allowed to vote?"

The real answer depends on whether the "don't call" laws apply to these political calls. They aren't selling you anything in the traditional sense, and there are dozens of groups that might call you, sometimes even more than one for the same candidate, so I'm not hopeful.

[barkmonster]

It's a job for now though.

the funny thing is all the objections I get.

"He died 30 years ago"

"I'm over 65" - sometimes they are, sometimes they sound under 40

"I'm not going to take any free phone number, it's one of those £1 a minute con jobs" - these people are so dumb FREE-PHONE should be simple to understand.

"I don't understand what you're saying" - using spoken by some toff who speaks with obviously put on queens english while attepting to be patronising by saying "are you northern ?" I am but that means nothing to me, I've got family from all over the world/country.

There's a few things you can do to definately make sure they (well me right now) can't get you on the phone.

1. Annoymous Call Baring - no way of even connecting.

2. Mobile phone near the phone mic - the noise is pure pain for anyone

3. Go ex directory but leave you're fax number in there without indicating it's a fax number.

I know how annoying it must be for people, I've had so many telemarketers get me in at home that I just listen to their whole speil, leave the room, make a coffee, come back while they're still taking, agree to all the crap they say then don't give them any details. It pisses them off no end if they've wasted 15 minutes on someone.

[Mr. Anderson]

Originally posted by barkmonster

I know how annoying it must be for people, I've had so many telemarketers get me in at home that I just listen to their whole speil, leave the room, make a coffee, come back while they're still taking, agree to all the crap they say then don't give them any details. It pisses them off no end if they've wasted 15 minutes on someone.

Ha, you're being nice - I just usually hang up or say 'I'm sorry, its agains policy to accept solicitation...', that usually works. I've not listened to spiel in a while and almost hung up on someone because they sounded like one. Caller ID is a good way, since most of the telemarketers have unlisted numbers, so you know there's a good chance what the call is going to be before you pick it up.

D

[scem0]

Yeah, I never answer the phone, but next time I get a telemarketer I am just going to put the phone off the hook and leave it there. I am not going to put it off the hook until I hear the beeping which tells me that the telemarketer figured out that I really don't care about the 'complementary bathrobe' or whatever he was after in the 1st place.

[barkmonster]

The company I was working for up until mid november were on watchdog!!

Mainstream Promotions Watchdog Article (http://www.bbc.co.uk/watchdog/reports/holidays/index.shtml?subcat=mainstream)

I really regret missing that on TV :D

Glad I wasn't working there when the camera crew turned up.