Men: which hand do you use?

[jrv3034]

Hello, all! I was just now in the bathroom and I noticed that, even though I'm right-handed, I used my left hand to aim into the toilet (the right hand was holding down the elastic on my underwear).

This wouldn't have caught my attention had I not seen the movie Gattaca (great flick), and at one point a guy points out that the man urinating could not be left-handed, because he was holding it with his right hand.

My question is in two parts: Are you a righty or a lefty? And which hand do you use for urinating?

Thoughts?;)

[Sun Baked]

Nothing wakes you up like an ice cold hand touching you when you're drunk. ;)

http://forums.macrumors.com/attachment.php?postid=160368

[robbieduncan]

Not my first thought when I saw the thread title! But for the record I am right handed, and I normally hold it with my right hand too, although I have been known to use the left, if there is a good reason.

[rainman::|:|]

Ah so you're one of those guys that pulls down rather than unzipping... there should be a thread on just that :D but anyway, i'm right handed, i dont think i've ever used my left hand for the job...

unless, of course, i want it to feel like someone else is doing it ;)

pnw

[3777]

Originally posted by jrv3034
Hello, all! I was just now in the bathroom and I noticed that, even though I'm right-handed, I used my left hand to aim into the toilet (the right hand was holding down the elastic on my underwear).

This wouldn't have caught my attention had I not seen the movie Gattaca (great flick), and at one point a guy points out that the man urinating could not be left-handed, because he was holding it with his right hand.

My question is in two parts: Are you a righty or a lefty? And which hand do you use for urinating?

Thoughts?;)

This is such a nice change of pace from that other thread:D Sometimes I don't use any hands just to see how skilled I am:cool:

[kiwi_the_iwik]

Are you taking the pi$$?

:D

[3rdpath]

Originally posted by paulwhannel
hand for the job...





hehehehehe

[mischief]

I just let the little guy sit on my scrotum..... He's got enough mass to stay there.

Though if he's been all curled up for a while he leans a bit to the right and I have to keep him straight..... In that situation I'd use my left.:D

TMI?:p

[wdlove]

Originally posted by Sun Baked
Nothing wakes you up like an ice cold hand touching you when you're drunk. ;)

http://forums.macrumors.com/attachment.php?postid=160368

Great cartoon, like the way he just keeps flushing to get dunked!

Also right handed. :)

[rainman::|:|]

oh my god mischief...

hilarious post tho, hope it doesn't get edited :)

doesnt the stream itself sometimes come out a little crooked? you have to quickly swing your hips a bit, rather than just adjust things?

or do i just have a narrow urethra?

mike judge needs to come to this thread...

:)
pnw

[wdlove]

At a urinal, hip adjustment would work just fine.

[mischief]

Originally posted by paulwhannel
oh my god mischief...

hilarious post tho, hope it doesn't get edited :)

doesnt the stream itself sometimes come out a little crooked? you have to quickly swing your hips a bit, rather than just adjust things?

or do i just have a narrow urethra?

mike judge needs to come to this thread...

:)
pnw

I've noticed that if he's been all balled up and sweaty the sometimes the eurethral opening stick shut a little and makes for a crooked stream. At that point I can usually drop a hip and he rolls to the side a bit back towards centered. The worst for that though is having a hair stuck across the opening and you get the split streams that both miss.:rolleyes:

[diorio]

I'm a switch hitter myself. Oh wait, we're talking about urination. :o :D ;) In that case, mostly right.

[jrv3034]

Originally posted by mischief
The worst for that though is having a hair stuck across the opening and you get the split streams that both miss.:rolleyes:

Oh, my goodness!!! :eek: :eek: :D

That really is awful.

True... but awful...


I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting when I started this thread, but this is hillarious.

And WAAAAYYYY too much information...:D

[rainman::|:|]

Mischief,

I *totally* know what you mean, especially in the morning, or when you're drunk, and it sticks together... one stream goes down your pants and the other hits the shower curtain. Very embarassing. That's why i switched to teflon-coated dockers ;)

how many guys here pee by sonar? you don't turn on a light, just whip it out, and start peeing 'till you hit water. Kind of fun, you can make it a sport if you like. Oh, crap, watersports. this thread has just collapsed inward like a black hole.

pnw

[beez7777]

Ha, this thread is hilarious.i did expect something else though before i looked at the thread... anyway, i usually use my right hand, i'm a righty. paul, often i "pee by sonar" hehe, interesting way of putting it.

[mischief]

Originally posted by beez7777
Ha, this thread is hilarious.i did expect something else though before i looked at the thread... anyway, i usually use my right hand, i'm a righty. paul, often i "pee by sonar" hehe, interesting way of putting it.

Why use dead reckoning when you can just lean your shins into the bowl sides a bit? You've just got to keep the friggin thing clean or ..... eeeewwww I don't even wanna go there.;)

[alex_ant]

Hey, who stole my Calvin & Hobbes schtick?!? And why is it not Calvin & Hobbes & Susie? Why??????

[Sun Baked]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Hey, who stole my Calvin & Hobbes schtick?!? And why is it not Calvin & Hobbes & Susie? Why?????? Hey,

I bookmarked a few in the smiley war.

Some I didn't get to.
http://adwoff.com/ubb/graemlins/calvinread.gif

[AtlantaGuy]

I prefer the 2-handed grip.:cool:

[rainman::|:|]

Originally posted by AtlantaGuy
I prefer the 2-handed grip.:cool:

Just remember, if you shake it more than three times, you're just playing.

:)
pnw

[Sun Baked]

Originally posted by AtlantaGuy
I prefer the 2-handed grip.:cool: Just remember, he may really be saying he has small girly little hands.

[vniow]

I'm a squatter.

[howard]

wow some of you people are truly hilarious. i suppose i usually use my right, i totally know about the hair-split stream accidents that can happen, gotta watch out for those, specially after swimming. as for the sonar pissing..just make sure your not drunk at a party and the splashing water is jsut some guys drink...

[3rdpath]

TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,:eek:

[springscansing]

Originally posted by paulwhannel

Oh, crap, watersports. this thread has just collapsed inward like a black hole.

pnw

Mmm.. bwaha.. er..

Nevermind me.

[springscansing]

Originally posted by 3rdpath
TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,TMI,:eek:

Damn, I hate when people say that.

Me personally, I usually masturbate with my right and pee with my left, and hold the undergarments with the right.

Then again, I do not usually wear underwear...

Eat that you TMI freaks. Bunch of 13 year old girls you are!

[eyelikeart]

I always use my right hand whenever handling...uh...those personal things... ;)

so here's one for the ladies...

what's the fascination with holding it for a guy? :eek: :D :p

[springscansing]

Originally posted by eyelikeart
I always use my right hand whenever handling...uh...those personal things... ;)

so here's one for the ladies...

what's the fascination with holding it for a guy? :eek: :D :p

***** envy I guess...

My girl actually pees standing up facing it. How damn hot is that? Holy crap damnit I need to see her again...

[springscansing]

This makes no sense. I can say masturbation, but ***** gets censored. Er.. the P word.

[rainman::|:|]

Originally posted by springscansing
My girl actually pees standing up facing it. How damn hot is that? Holy crap damnit I need to see her again...

can you elaborate on this? is she one of those few women that can pee completely well standing up? i have an aunt that can do that... evidently there's some muscle that can be contracted to get an arc, she did it as a child as a trick...

i never knew a woman to do it as a matter of regularity, tho... that's interesting :)

here's another topic, it will sound very odd to most of you... there is a mental disorder, i think it's an offshoot of OCD, that some men get-- they become obsessed with others hearing their urination... i kind of pee on the inside of the bowl, just above the waterline, to make it more quiet, i just can't stand the idea of my friends hearing that... its just too *weird*... any guys know what i'm talking about? it's one of those things that you either completely understand or go "huh?"...

:)
pnw

[cyks]

Another right handed...left hand used... since right hand is busy holding down the elastic.

...and that's a whole other topic/poll in itself.
For the guys that wear briefs or boxer briefs... how many of you actually use the built in "man shute"...and how many of you just pull down the elastic?

I know I just pull it down instead of going through the Rubic's type maze they have. Anyone else?

....boxers are in a different category since the opening is right there..no real work is needed to get to it...and they're usually wide enough to fit a horse through.

[G4scott]

wow... This is as low as the 'posting while you're drunk' and the 'poop thread'. I thought it was going to be about something else... Of course, someone's already gone there already...

I use my right hand. I usually unzip my fly, and poke him through the fly in my boxers...

I hate the split stream, though, but I am pretty good at the sonar thing. I've never been drunk before, so I don't know the difficulties of pissing while drunk...

[iwantanewmac]

Both hands!
it's HEAVY!

[eyelikeart]

but...

I have created a thread for the other half of what bathroom time is all about... :eek: :D :p ;)

so springscansing...can u explain more about the "envy" u mentioned?

[iAlan]

You guys are just weird, but here goes...
I am right handed.I hold my 'chipo' in my right hand.
I usually pull the elastic down with my left.
I do not wear boxers shorts.I wear black button front CK trunks (never worn speedo/y-front style though)
As for sonar, I am no bat, but can do quite well in the dark.
Like some other posters, i know the feeling about the 'split pee' (pun intended).After sex (if it is hot and wild) can be the worst but I really don't want to go there...
I can use either hand when it comes to self gratification, but favor the right - luckily I get gratified by others enough not to have to do it solo...

Well, you asked...

And a little blow-job smiley...:o

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by paulwhannel
here's another topic, it will sound very odd to most of you... there is a mental disorder, i think it's an offshoot of OCD, that some men get-- they become obsessed with others hearing their urination... i kind of pee on the inside of the bowl, just above the waterline, to make it more quiet, i just can't stand the idea of my friends hearing that... its just too *weird*... any guys know what i'm talking about? it's one of those things that you either completely understand or go "huh?"...


i hear that... it's best when the bathroom has a fan and/or a large bowl so that you can get through without much sound getting out of the bathroom.... the worst is as my friend's house... the main bathroom of choice is right next to the couches and all that... and there's no fan... and it's tiny, so you're definitely going to be loud....

i've gone so far as to sit just to be quiet while pissing... sometimes it's just necessary... not if it's family or close enough friends (at least guys in my case...) but any girls or non friends... they shouldn't be hearing me piss.

[iwantanewmac]

Who cares if they hear you piss?
Every1 does it haha :)
(otherwise you will explode)

[jrv3034]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
i've gone so far as to sit just to be quiet while pissing... sometimes it's just necessary... not if it's family or close enough friends (at least guys in my case...) but any girls or non friends... they shouldn't be hearing me piss.

Yeah, I know the feeling... But you know what's weird? When you're in a public bathroom and there's a lot of people in there (like when a movie theater lets out) it's somehow OK to make all the noise you want, because everybody's doing it. However, if I'm in the same bathroom and there's only one other guy in there, I aim for the urinal walls instead of the little pool at the bottom just to avoid the splashing sounds...

Also, it's much easier to pull down the elastic than to try to find the damn opening in the front of briefs. Boxers don't have that problem, but in my opinion, boxers don't count as underwear because they don't provide any kind of support or security.:eek:

Let the debate continue...

[howard]

i know about the audible piss problem, but i don't really care anymore, all of my friends or family don't care either. also boxers are the way to go, how can you even stand briefs? there also supposed to be really unhealthy too...

[scem0]

im a righty...... In both senses.

[eyelikeart]

yeah...I've tried pissing in the past with my left hand...didn't work out too well...but I was kinda drunk at the time... :eek: :D

[MrMacMan]

I'm right/right.

Inless situations have otherwise.

I'm mostly right in any sense you could possible think of. :rolleyes:

[wdlove]

Originally posted by iwantanewmac
Who cares if they hear you piss?
Every1 does it haha :)
(otherwise you will explode)

A urologist's joke, you can tell if a person if young or old by the sound of the urination. It's the strength of the stream. In older men the donut sized gland, prostate tends to enlarge thereby decreasing the force of the stream!

[mischief]

Well..... I can't wear Boxers on a regular basis cuz I prefer regular cut, non-baggy jeans so Boxers would leave a bit too much likelihood of pinching for comfort. Similar reason that my DD wife can't wear a sports bra all the time... Only for me streatching isn't the problem.

As to pull down versus rubiking: I switched to non- Y-front briefs cuz I never used the maze and found the lump of dryer lint in the pocket (right under my prostate!) rather uncomfortable.

How's that for a TMI?:rolleyes:

[pimentoLoaf]

Speaking of watersports...

[pimentoLoaf]

There used to be a product -- printed rice-paper battleships, destroyers, PT boats, & etc -- to be placed in the toilet bowl for those interested in playing Lavatory Battleship.

implying a spirited game for two...

[rainman::|:|]

Originally posted by pimentoLoaf
There used to be a product -- printed rice-paper battleships, destroyers, PT boats, & etc -- to be placed in the toilet bowl for those interested in playing Lavatory Battleship.

Yes! i so want these! maybe then i could get the hubby to hit the bowl once in a while!

implying a spirited game for two...

hmm... heh...

mkay.

:)
pnw

[jrv3034]

Originally posted by mischief
...and found the lump of dryer lint in the pocket (right under my prostate!) rather uncomfortable.

How's that for a TMI?:rolleyes:

ROTFLOL:eek: :D

Ahh, the joys of lint in the groin area.

I dunno, boxers just don't cut it for me. Especially after having used the bathroom; if I'm walking around with boxers I sometimes feel a loose drop of pee riding down the inside of my leg, even after shaking. This, of course, never happens with briefs.;)

I can't believe I just wrote that.

[wdlove]

Originally posted by jrv3034


ROTFLOL:eek: :D

Ahh, the joys of lint in the groin area.

I dunno, boxers just don't cut it for me. Especially after having used the bathroom; if I'm walking around with boxers I sometimes feel a loose drop of pee riding down the inside of my leg, even after shaking. This, of course, never happens with briefs.;)

I can't believe I just wrote that.

Thank you for sharing, I've had that problem for years. Didn't think that I was alone. My treatment ended up doing it the same as vniow, much safer that to have wet spot on the pants. So I've done you one better, don't think it's anything to be ashamed about. :(

[mischief]

Getting tangled in your thatch while sitting and then standing up...... The worst double-yank going.:eek:

[rainman::|:|]

Originally posted by mischief
Getting tangled in your thatch while sitting and then standing up...... The worst double-yank going.:eek:

you've finally managed to lose me...

what?? like, public hair in your zipper? that only affects people who don't wear underwear :eek: and we quickly figure out how to avoid getting *anything* in the zipper...

:)
pnw

[ChicagoMac]

Originally posted by wdlove


Thank you for sharing, I've had that problem for years. Didn't think that I was alone. My treatment ended up doing it the same as vniow, much safer that to have wet spot on the pants. So I've done you one better, don't think it's anything to be ashamed about. :(

But I think vniow's reason for squatting is probably different;) Then again, I didn't read your profile, so maybe it's the same reason.

[mischief]

Originally posted by paulwhannel


you've finally managed to lose me...

what?? like, public hair in your zipper? that only affects people who don't wear underwear :eek: and we quickly figure out how to avoid getting *anything* in the zipper...

:)
pnw

Whoops.... I forgot that foreskins are uncommon...:o :rolleyes: ;) :p

[wdlove]

Originally posted by ChicagoMac


But I think vniow's reason for squatting is probably different;) Then again, I didn't read your profile, so maybe it's the same reason.

I do it to prevent a wet spoty on my pants, need to use a tissue!

[kettle]

wasn't the question left or right?

right.

[rainman::|:|]

Originally posted by mischief


Whoops.... I forgot that foreskins are uncommon...:o :rolleyes: ;) :p

Always wanted one of those. they do reconstructions, you know... i just can't stand the process. Can be creepy looking tho... if you're not used to them...

who wants to (risk pissing off the mods) start the poll for Cut or Uncut?

:)

pnw

[vniow]

Originally posted by paulwhannel
Always wanted one of those. they do reconstructions, you know... i just can't stand the process. Can be creepy looking tho... if you're not used to them...

who wants to (risk pissing off the mods) start the poll for Cut or Uncut?


Hell, I'd do it but the poll option is still disabled.http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/veronica/damn.gif

Besides, I have a slightly different operation in mind for my genetallia.........

[rainman::|:|]

Originally posted by vniow


Hell, I'd do it but the poll option is still disabled.http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/veronica/damn.gif

Besides, I have a slightly different operation in mind for my genetallia.........

you'd just have to use much bigger weights...

:eek:

pnw

[mischief]

Originally posted by paulwhannel


you'd just have to use much bigger weights...

:eek:

pnw

Erm..... miss V is going the other way.... it's a process that takes some serious hurdles, lots of money and a trip to southeast asia.

or to get back on topic: "Look ma no hands!":eek:

[eyelikeart]

Originally posted by mischief

or to get back on topic: "Look ma no hands!":eek:

he he...

with that...piss flies everywhere!!! :eek: :D

[vniow]

Originally posted by mischief

Erm..... miss V is going the other way.... it's a process that takes some serious hurdles, lots of money and a trip to southeast asia.

[mischief]

ah ****it.

So are you saying that loose lips sink ships? You dirty little drag-princess you!:p :rolleyes: :eek:

[Sun Baked]

You can't even say:

Would somebody please give these two a hand, before they drown in the toilet.

:eek:

Not in this thread, that type of statement can definitely lead to all sorts of ...

http://forums.macrumors.com/attachment.php?postid=158571

[vniow]

Originally posted by mischief
ah ****it.

So are you saying that loose lips sink ships?


so come aboard for my pleasure trips.......

[wdlove]

Were are you trips going?

[mischief]

Originally posted by wdlove
Were are you trips going?

Straight to the wasteland with a few more questions like that one....:rolleyes:

[eyelikeart]

well after reading all of this...um...whatever the hell one would call it...

I decided to try my lefty out...just for good measure...

didn't miss a drop! ;)

[wdlove]

Originally posted by mischief


Straight to the wasteland with a few more questions like that one....:rolleyes:

I was asking vinow! :p

[Sun Baked]

Stand back and get your hands off each others puns...

[eyelikeart]

I should start a "drunk while pissing" thread... :p

[wdlove]

Would that truly be more interesting? :p

[iAlan]

left, right...who cares, just wash your hands when you have finished...

[Phil Of Mac]

I can't believe I'm posting to the urination thread.

I go handless too, because I can aim fine with my hips. Sometimes I get a drip problem too, it's rather interesting I'm not the only one...

I actually use the opening in the briefs. But if so few people do, why don't they sell briefs that don't have the opening? Is it because they'd look like panties? I don't know.

As for what I thought was the subject of this thread before actually reading it--right hand :)

[wdlove]

Washing your hands is very good advice. Compliance?

[Sun Baked]

Originally posted by merc.
Bathroom Humor

A man stops into this little backwoods restaurant for lunch, and after finishing his meal he inquires the way to the rest room.

He is told that it is around the back of the building, so he heads through the back door, finds the outhouse and takes a dump, only to discover there is no toilet paper. But there is a sign on the wall that reads, Wipe yourself with your finger, then insert the finger into this hole, and your finger will be cleaned with great attention.

So the man wipes up and sticks his finger through the hole. On the other side is standing a little boy holding a brick in either hand, who claps them together at the sight of the finger poking through.

The guy screams in pain, yanks his hand back, and starts sucking on his finger. So now his finger is cleaned with great attention...

[howard]

oh god that is disgusting...hilariously disgusting

[wdlove]

ooouch! :eek: yyyyuck!!! Hope it was his left hand!

[MrMacMan]

Jesus...
:bleh:
post a frikken warning.