Warning: Comedy - We need to invade Zimbabwe

[alex_ant]

If we're going to fight for democracy in Iraq, let's at least be consistent elsewhere. I've seen a lot of Hussein-Hitler comparisons that I've found questionable. But when we have a dictator who openly admits his love for the man and promises himself to be Hitler * 10, well, what the hell are we waiting for? **** the rest of the world - let's go in and bomb the **** out of this ****************.

http://allafrica.com/stories/200303260002.html

[Dont Hurt Me]

Hey ant lead the charge! Im sure he will make George's things to do list.

[leprechaunG4]

If we were in Iraq for only that reason, and there wasn't a violated cease fire involved, then maybe your logic would hold. Since that is not the case, and you know that is not the case. I will just equate this thread to your typical flamebait, have a nice day.

[alex_ant]

Come on, you know that's irrelevant. Bush could make some **** up about a ceasefire violation or whatever in an instant, even if it were nothing more than "We told him to surrender, and he didn't." Mugabe is already violating god knows how many pieces of international law.

48 hours to leave the country, and then we go in. With 100,000 troops it would take about a week. Nobody would even notice with this war in Iraq going on.

[leprechaunG4]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Come on, you know that's irrelevant. Bush could make some **** up about a ceasefire violation or whatever in an instant, even if it were nothing more than "We told him to surrender, and he didn't." Mugabe is already violating god knows how many pieces of international law.

48 hours to leave the country, and then we go in. With 100,000 troops it would take about a week. Nobody would even notice with this war in Iraq going on.
Ask Chirac if he wants to do it. If he grows a sac and starts wanting to enforce UN decisions then maybe somehting could happen.

[runningman]

I think we should invade someplace nice where the weather is good like Jamaica.

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by leprechaunG4
Ask Chirac if he wants to do it. If he grows a sac and starts wanting to enforce UN decisions then maybe somehting could happen.
I think we already know what Chirac would do. That's why the responsibility is on US to do something.

[macfan]

The weather's pretty good in Zimbabwe.

alex,
Get together a group of hired guns. They can capture the radio and tv station, the presidential residence, and the main army baracks, and that will be it.

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by runningman
I think we should invade someplace nice where the weather is good like Jamaica.
CUBA!!! Seriously, if we sent even a quarter of the force of the Marines, Air Force, Army, and Navy, it would take like 15 minutes to make that place the 51st state!

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by macfan
The weather's pretty good in Zimbabwe.

alex,
Get together a group of hired guns. They can capture the radio and tv station, the presidential residence, and the main army baracks, and that will be it.
Even YOU agree with me. Although I would prefer a little more destruction, as a show of force, I would settle for that.

[Rower_CPU]

Canadians have always pissed me off. They're always looking down on us from up there...

And we know they wouldn't put up a fight.

[pivo6]

There have been many interesting suggestions already. I suggest that instead of attacking Zimbabwe straight away, we should first list in order of preference who we should attack. I will start. ;)

1. Cuba - keep it close to home
2. Zimbabwe - sorry Alex for making it #2
3.
4.

I can't support attacking Canada, mainly because my wife has too much family there.

[alex_ant]

Well, sorry pivo, but Canada has to go as well, or at least whatever part of Canada those damned cold fronts come from. We can order an emergency evacuation first, though. Iran should be #3 because it's close to acquiring nuclear weapons, but North Korea isn't really a big deal because they already have them.

Here is what I was thinking:

1) Ourselves (to show the world we're CRAZY!!)
2) Cuba
3) Iran
4) Zimbabwe
5) Give that Wolfowitz man a raise!
Whenever we get around to it) North Korea

[jelloshotsrule]

what? iran???? why?

it'd be more fun to punish france and germany and turkey for their lack of support in this war. and more importantly, their attempt to humiliate the infallible, superior, UNITED STATES of AMERICA!!!!

[vniow]

Of course!

No one must stand in the way of the future Pants Pissers party! Now in colorful flavors!

[runningman]

OHHHH Cuba good thought. Nice rum good cigars pretty beaches and pretty women. Very close to home you could damn well parasail there if you had half the fancy.
We don't want to invade cananda to cold we already have north dakota. Though Toronto is nice.
Now if you talk about invading canada that doesn't mean quebec does it?

[jelloshotsrule]

pivo... let me warn you now.... we won't tolerate speaking against our wishes.... i only give you the warning cause i love chris farley, and from what i've read of your posts, you could be a part of our team.... but please, rethink your statement about canada. if not, you will be given 48 hours to leave your house and our country and then we will be forced to "disarm" you, as it were....

and if you choose to take it back, welcome to the good/right side!

[macfan]

Forget attacking Canada. Just buy it. I think it can be had for 60 cents on the dollar.

[runningman]

I don't know Pivo wife family in canada invasion happening. Sorry honey gotta stay home can't go visit the inlaws

[pivo6]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
pivo... let me warn you now.... we won't tolerate speaking against our wishes.... i only give you the warning cause i love chris farley, and from what i've read of your posts, you could be a part of our team.... but please, rethink your statement about canada. if not, you will be given 48 hours to leave your house and our country and then we will be forced to "disarm" you, as it were....

and if you choose to take it back, welcome to the good/right side!

Since my wife left Canada when she was one years old, and moved to the promised land... Kenosha, Wisconsin, and her parents now live in Arizona and have become citizens of this fine country, I hereby formally rescind my former statement and endorse the occupation of Canada.

I will now begin plans to protect our Indian casinos from the new *enemy*.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by pivo6
Since my wife left Canada when she was one years old, and moved to the promised land... Kenosha, Wisconsin, and her parents now live in Arizona and have become citizens of this fine country, I hereby formally rescind my former statement and endorse the occupation of Canada.

I will now begin plans to protect our Indian casinos from the new *enemy*.

yes!

welcome... now, just piss your pants and you could very well be on the ticket in 2016... care to request a specific cabinet position? or should i just get drunk and choose one out of a hat? that's how i usually do it.... oh, and ale x_ant already has VP and secretary of state or defense. i forget which.

let's also be clear about the taking of canada. we aren't just occupying. and we certainly wouldn't buy it.... no one would die that way. we are killing our way into power. if no blood is shed, we'll do it over until we get it right

[alex_ant]

Robert Mugabe: You have no chance to survive make your time.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Robert Mugabe: You have no chance to survive make your time.

i just pissed my pants at that picture

outstanding.


ps. who's robert mugabe and when does the killing start????

[pivo6]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
yes!

welcome... now, just piss your pants and you could very well be on the ticket in 2016... care to request a specific cabinet position? or should i just get drunk and choose one out of a hat? that's how i usually do it.... oh, and ale x_ant already has VP and secretary of state or defense. i forget which.

let's also be clear about the taking of canada. we aren't just occupying. and we certainly wouldn't buy it.... no one would die that way. we are killing our way into power. if no blood is shed, we'll do it over until we get it right

Thank You. Do I have to piss my pants, or can it be any other *trouser tragedy*? You can choose the position that you feel I'm best suited for. Can you give me the link to the party's platform? I couldn't find it. I would like to know what I believe in.

[pivo6]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Robert Mugabe: You have no chance to survive make your time.

Nice graphic. Is that available for letterheads, bumperstickers etc.?

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
yes!

welcome... now, just piss your pants and you could very well be on the ticket in 2016... care to request a specific cabinet position? or should i just get drunk and choose one out of a hat? that's how i usually do it.... oh, and ale x_ant already has VP and secretary of state or defense. i forget which.

let's also be clear about the taking of canada. we aren't just occupying. and we certainly wouldn't buy it.... no one would die that way. we are killing our way into power. if no blood is shed, we'll do it over until we get it right
I can't wait to see the looks on the faces of the SLIP (Stupid Loser Idiot Party) once all this plays itself out. Yes, do indeed get drunk before you assign me to a post. Being the first Sec. of Cheez Doodles would truly be an honor!

Rower_CPU: You can take over for Lynn Swann on the President's Council on Fitness. Although we might have to change that to "Grand Supreme Wet-Crotched Leader's Council on Fitness."

[vniow]

Originally posted by pivo6
Thank You. Do I have to piss my pants, or can it be any other *trouser tragedy*?

I think that pissing your pants is a must, no other spoilers would do.

Can I join the PPP too?

[pivo6]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
i just pissed my pants at that picture

outstanding.


ps. who's robert mugabe and when does the killing start????

He's the leader of Zimbabwe who is currently third on our list of countries to invade.

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
i just pissed my pants at that picture

outstanding.


ps. who's robert mugabe and when does the killing start????
Robert Mugabe is the President of Zimbabe and the self-proclaimed new black Hitler. We need to bomb the crap out of Zimbabwe so that he will surrender. He can't be president of Zimbabwe AND the PPP Sec. of Crushing Opposition at the same time, you see!

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by pivo6
Thank You. Do I have to piss my pants, or can it be any other *trouser tragedy*? You can choose the position that you feel I'm best suited for. Can you give me the link to the party's platform? I couldn't find it. I would like to know what I believe in.
The first step to understanding PPP ideology is that what you believe in is none of your business. I haven't thought about "trouser tragedies," although I suppose we could make an exception. What did you have in mind?

And the graphic is free. (Until we gain power and charge $1000 per print and require every household to hang a framed copy on every wall in their house or else they are brutally murdered by the Mugabe death squads... so you see why I want this guy out of Zimbabwe immediately!)

[pivo6]

Originally posted by alex_ant
The first step to understanding PPP ideology is that what you believe in is none of your business. I haven't thought about "trouser tragedies," although I suppose we could make an exception. What did you have in mind?

I didn't have anything in mind yet, but I thought I'd ask first.

[jelloshotsrule]

first requirement.... you must be a white, upper middle class male. however, if you can piss your pants sufficiently in public, we might consider letting you stand side by side.

as for policies.... first of all. none of your damn business everyone else. second of all. make it up as you go along... word associations work great for me

first word...

jungle

second word...

gym

so, i think we should make the new presidential house a huge jungle gym

see how it works? now you try

it's really great

also, pleease. please have the decency to have your trouser trouble in public, or else there's no point to even trying

a great statement to make in the debates perhaps...

"i won't resort to slinging crap in this debate.... though i did just crap my pants" and then turn around, squat up on the pedestal and prove it to the nation. like that, they will be under our command

[Rower_CPU]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Rower_CPU: You can take over for Lynn Swann on the President's Council on Fitness. Although we might have to change that to "Grand Supreme Wet-Crotched Leader's Council on Fitness."

I wouldn't have it any other way. Once I've put my program in place we'll have an entire country of wet bottomed little kids doing calisthenics in the schoolyard.

Glorious days are upon us!

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU
Glorious days are upon us!
Not yet! In only 13 years, though!

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by vniow
I think that pissing your pants is a must, no other spoilers would do.

Can I join the PPP too?
Sure! We're still filling out our spots... in more ways than one!

[Rower_CPU]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Not yet! In only 13 years, though!

An endeavor such as this is many years in the planning - as evidenced by this group of forthright individuals bravely collaborating to bring forth a new world order.

May glorious days be ever upon us!

[vniow]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Sure! We're still filling out our spots... in more ways than one!


Well I'm not a white upper-class male, can I at least be a slutty secretary?

I have some old fishnets I can rip up.

[pseudobrit]

Here's the short list:

1) Iran -- we're already there and can get the oil
2) Saudi Arabi -- after the CIA incites revolt, we'll have to go in and secure the region, ditto the reasons above
3) Jordan, Syria -- for Israel's peace of mind, ditto the reasons for one
4) North Korea -- nothing worthwhile, nuke them into yesteryear
5) Zimbabwe -- 'cause about this time we'll need to do some selfless good to show the world we're not hegemonists
6) France -- 'cause they're easy to beat and they don't like McDonalds and they didn't support us
7) Germany -- they're ingrates and didn't support us
8) Russia -- they're closet pinkos and didn't support us
9) Ireland -- full of terrorists and potatoes (embarrassed Quale)
10) Colombia -- we're loving the surge of opium coming out of Afghanistan since the Taliban fell, we'll love the cocaine just as much!
11) China -- 'cause by this time they'll know what's going on and will try to mobilize. Partial nuclear annihilation to thin out their 2B strong population.
12) Scandanavia -- peaceful socialist nations. Easy money.
13) Switzerland -- You're with us or the terrorists. Neutrality means you're sure not with us.
14) Whatever's left. I mean, it's kinda easy after that...

[groovebuster]

:D What a thread!

[pivo6]

When the invasions begin, will we allow embeded media? I believe that we can carry the week ratings wise, especially in our target demographic.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by pivo6
When the invasions begin, will we allow embeded media? I believe that we can carry the week ratings wise, especially in our target demographic.

when the invasions begin, i expect many of our own cabinet members to act as the embedded media.... 2 reasons i feel this is the only way to go

1: we have full control over what people see and hear. did i mention that being "embedded" meant being in a studio with a bunch of soldier actors and great sets? ;)

2: our wrath would rain down on our enemies so hard, that even if we were out on the battlefields (i'd hardly call them that, more like massacrefields), we'd just be sitting back, as vniow feeds us grapes (how's that for a non white male role???)

glorious days!

[runningman]

When you talk about embedded media you mean embedding them in the ground?
As far as France another reason besides not liking McDonalds is they canned Eurodisney. How can you not love Mickey? And Minney in that skirt come on Jessica she's hot.
Hey they like Jerry Lewis to that's the other reason.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by runningman
When you talk about embedded media you mean embedding them in the ground?
As far as France another reason besides not liking McDonalds is they canned Eurodisney. How can you not love Mickey? And Minney in that skirt come on Jessica she's hot.
Hey they like Jerry Lewis to that's the other reason.

no, i mean embedding them in huge movie studios so we can show exactly what the war is like as we trample our foes. ;)

as for france... please. no other reason is needed.... THEY AREN'T THE USA!!!!

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
no, i mean embedding them in huge movie studios so we can show exactly what the war is like as we trample our foes. ;)

When we vanquish the foe, they can get shot like the Indians did in the Westerns... you just drop to the ground bloodlessly and gore-lessly.

Perfect! Then we can nape the whole country and no one will suspect!

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
When we vanquish the foe, they can get shot like the Indians did in the Westerns... you just drop to the ground bloodlessly and gore-lessly.

Perfect! Then we can nape the whole country and no one will suspect!

as much as i like your logic... given that it's brainwashing and that is exactly what we want. we DO need to do this as bloodily as possible

maybe we can show us just putting our hands out against the "opposition forces" (ie, actors) and have them fall apart, as if we have the "force".... yes, that's it!

i like your way of thinking. we'll make you secretary of "let's make the dumbasses in our country believe anything we want them to believe"

bingo!

[jelloshotsrule]

your mention of the indians brought another thought to mind

rather than just taking over countries.... like say, zimbabwe or wherever. let's go ahead and stage it such that this is a NEW land... much like columbus found a new land. and then the zimbabweans are the savages and we will come in, use our "force" on them and have them under our power. once they are all dead and gone, we can repopulate the land with whiteys

as the secretary of let's make the dumbasses in our country believe anything we want them to believe, i put you in charge of just what we will show the people is taking place... i trust your judgment on that matter

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
as much as i like your logic... given that it's brainwashing and that is exactly what we want. we DO need to do this as bloodily as possible

maybe we can show us just putting our hands out against the "opposition forces" (ie, actors) and have them fall apart, as if we have the "force".... yes, that's it!

i like your way of thinking. we'll make you secretary of "let's make the dumbasses in our country believe anything we want them to believe"

bingo!

I'd much rather be Minister of Silly Walks, but I'll settle.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
I'd much rather be Minister of Silly Walks, but I'll settle.

done. you got both

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
done. you got both

I'll get right to making the dumbasses in our country believe anything we want them to believe while walking silly.

Let's see...

one part WMD
two parts savages
one part Godless heathens
one part pagan rituals of torture (maybe toss in a dash of human sacrafice)
three parts evil dictator

AND most importantly:
a forward aerial half turn every alternate step...

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
I'll get right to making the dumbasses in our country believe anything we want them to believe while walking silly.

Let's see...

one part WMD
two parts savages
one part Godless heathens
one part pagan rituals of torture (maybe toss in a dash of human sacrafice)
three parts evil dictator

AND most importantly:
a forward aerial half turn every alternate step...

sounds like a great start

i want to make people think that these foreign lands are like other planets and ****e

we can work up some CGI magic and all sorts of goodies... whoo!

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
sounds like a great start

i want to make people think that these foreign lands are like other planets and ****e

we can work up some CGI magic and all sorts of goodies... whoo!

Awesome -- I'm going to need a rack of Xserves though, and a few 23" displays -- where do I get the puchase order tablets?

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
Awesome -- I'm going to need a rack of Xserves though, and a few 23" displays -- where do I get the puchase order tablets?

steve's on board with our campagn. don't need to pay....

[pivo6]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
your mention of the indians brought another thought to mind

rather than just taking over countries.... like say, zimbabwe or wherever. let's go ahead and stage it such that this is a NEW land... much like columbus found a new land. and then the zimbabweans are the savages and we will come in, use our "force" on them and have them under our power. once they are all dead and gone, we can repopulate the land with whiteys

I know the need for bloodshed, but can we use biological warfare. Columbus used syphillis and smallpox, although they didn't use a bomb or gas.

[pivo6]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
we'd just be sitting back, as vniow feeds us grapes (how's that for a non white male role???)


I would like to picture that. Unfortunately having never met her, I will just have to picture her avatar feeding us grapes.:D

[vniow]

Originally posted by pivo6
I would like to picture that. Unfortunately having never met her, I will just have to picture her avatar feeding us grapes.:D

I have taller stilettos if they're needed.

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by vniow
Well I'm not a white upper-class male, can I at least be a slutty secretary?

I have some old fishnets I can rip up.
Hmm... if you're not a white upper-class male, that poses problems, as you are slated to be ethnically cleansed. The white women will live, although they will be confined to where they belong (the kitchen, the household chores, raising the kids etc.). So if you can be a white woman, that will probably work out.

[vniow]

As long as I can wear a French maid's outfit I'm in.

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by pivo6
I know the need for bloodshed, but can we use biological warfare. Columbus used syphillis and smallpox, although they didn't use a bomb or gas.

Whoa, we get to take over their nations AND get laid? Talk about a win-win situation!

[jelloshotsrule]

dude, of course we get laid....

that's pretty much the whole purpose

which is why we'll salvage the virgin women in all the conquered countries


as for bio stuff... all's fair in love and war

[noht*]

Originally posted by vniow
As long as I can wear a French maid's outfit I'm in.

please, please, please. what you are referring to is called a 'freedom maid's outfit'

couldn't resist, sorry...

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by noht*
please, please, please. what you are referring to is called a 'freedom maid's outfit'

couldn't resist, sorry...

couldn't have said it better


and i'm embarrassed that i missed such a foul slip up

but alas, i will forgive vniow if she dons some freedom cut panties as well.... ha!

[vniow]

Oh gawd, I'm so sorry, how could I have forgotton about that, doh!

Screw it then, I'm going buck naked.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by vniow
Oh gawd, I'm so sorry, how could I have forgotton about that, doh!

Screw it then, I'm going buck naked.

will we like what we see though???? hmmmm

i just pissed my pants...


talk about dedication to the cause

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
will we like what we see though???? hmmmm

i just pissed my pants...


talk about dedication to the cause

A true patriot.

[medea]

Originally posted by alex_ant
If we're going to fight for democracy in Iraq, let's at least be consistent elsewhere. I've seen a lot of Hussein-Hitler comparisons that I've found questionable. But when we have a dictator who openly admits his love for the man and promises himself to be Hitler * 10, well, what the hell are we waiting for? **** the rest of the world - let's go in and bomb the **** out of this ****************.

http://allafrica.com/stories/200303260002.html
No no no, you've got it all wrong you see we arnt going after countries by the threat level, we are doing it alphabetically, Iraq then N. Korea then Uzbekistan and so forth so therefore Zimbabwe will have to wait.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
A true patriot.

oh say can you see.....


we need to come up with a new flag and anthem.

the flag should include boobs.

[Rower_CPU]

The propaganda machine is in full effect I see.

With our emblem shining forth from jello's new avatar, our enemies shall look upon us and call us mighty.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU
The propaganda machine is in full effect I see.

With our emblem shining forth from jello's new avatar, our enemies shall look upon us and call us mighty.

they will be looking up. with our boots in their faces.... or at least our jack booted thugs' boots in their faces. we'll be sitting back, getting fanned and fed grapes by vniow and a whole company of hot lil' numbers


EDIT: grapes, not grabes

[mikulashek]

Originally posted by medea
No no no, you've got it all wrong you see we arnt going after countries by the threat level, we are doing it alphabetically, Iraq then N. Korea then Uzbekistan and so forth so therefore Zimbabwe will have to wait.
Lol!
Where is this all going?
Honestly though, there is a list of the most dangerous countries to live in and Zimbabwe is on there , but so is the U.S. of A.

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
they will be looking up. with our boots in their faces.... or at least our jack booted thugs' boots in their faces. we'll be sitting back, getting fanned and fed grabes by vniow and a whole company of hot lil' numbers

Wait a minute, does this sound like totalitarianism to anyone?

NAH! We're freeing these people, right?

You have to remember at the end of the day, they'll be much better off under our regime... er, democracy. Yeah.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
Wait a minute, does this sound like totalitarianism to anyone?

NAH! We're freeing these people, right?

You have to remember at the end of the day, they'll be much better off under our regime... er, democracy. Yeah.

does this sound like what? i don't read words longer than 6 letters.

i cut it off at terror

we will end all the terror. with terror being defined as anyone who we don't like..

but yeah, hell yeah we'll be a democr thing... it'll rule!

[vniow]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
will we like what we see though????

I would hope so if my boobs are going to be on the flag.

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule

the flag should include boobs.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by vniow
I would hope so if my boobs are going to be on the flag.

just so you know, we only take C cup and up...... hope you fit the bill

[vniow]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
just so you know, we only take C cup and up...... hope you fit the bill

Hmmm....that's a toughie, although I think I can manage, gimme until tomorrow so I can work out a bit.

[alex_ant]

Am I the only one who finds this thread more intelligent than any of the other political threads, ever? I think on behalf of the PPP we should petition arn to change Political Discussion to PPP Discussion... especially since after we seize power, there won't be any difference anyway.

[jelloshotsrule]

vniow- we can always have some surgeons take care of you if need be...... just cause you're on the inside. got in on the ground floor as it were

ale x_ant- i agree in theory.... but the thing is, discussion leads to dissension. and we won't be having that.

so..... do the math

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
vniow- we can always have some surgeons take care of you if need be...... just cause you're on the inside. got in on the ground floor as it were

ale x_ant- i agree in theory.... but the thing is, discussion leads to dissension. and we won't be having that.

so..... do the math

Okay, as minister of LMtDiOCBAWWTtB, I need some actors to play the "liberated" people in Iran, our next target.

I also need lot of hot chicks to play the "liberated" Iranian women. Studies show that recruitment is much more successful if the troops imagine they'll be taking liberties with...erm, I mean "liberating" hot pieces of ass. Engaging in lesbian acts will be a crucial role and will be required of many of the actresses, as this has been shown to increase support for the war effort by at least 26%. Every man loves lesbians; portraying a nation full of oppressed, sexually promiscuous lesbians will be a grand slam.

After we seize power, Alex? Foolish mortal! We've been in control all along. Mwahahahahaha!

[jelloshotsrule]

we will put out the call for attractive actors and actresses to play our own soldiers, and their women... and some uggos to play their soldiers... to hit home why we have to liberate those lovely ladies from those gross men


as for being in control... yes. you're right, but we aren't making it official til 2k16. because we have to start our campaign once i'm legal to become president (35).... only to humor them... if we come in with them thinking we're "legit" then we have them even more in our control

i warn you about calling alex a foolish "mortal" though... believe you me, this man can piss his pants with the best of us. which is borderline mortal if at all

ps. how long did it take you to type out the acronym for your position??? ;)

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
ps. how long did it take you to type out the acronym for your position??? ;)

I shouldn't have to tell you that I had time to piss my pants THRICE! while typing that out.

I should point out though, that since I've combined the LMtDiOCBAWWTtB and the MoSW, it's now officially the MoLMtDiOCBAWWTtBWWS.

Or, you can just call me Ari Fleischer.

[pivo6]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Am I the only one who finds this thread more intelligent than any of the other political threads, ever? I think on behalf of the PPP we should petition arn to change Political Discussion to PPP Discussion... especially since after we seize power, there won't be any difference anyway.

Actually it is and it has stayed completely on topic too.

[trebblekicked]

Best. Thread. Ever.

[pivo6]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
... we aren't making it official til 2k16. because we have to start our campaign once i'm legal to become president (35).... only to humor them... if we come in with them thinking we're "legit" then we have them even more in our control

The PPP has already succesfully combined the energy and the enthusiasm of a beginning grass roots campaign, with ruthless and relentless violence. A combination that will surely win in 2016.

By the way, can I become minister of coming up with names for projects? I listened to GWB this afternoon on the radio, and he mentioned at least 5 or 6 different *operations*. Someone has to come up with those names.

[jelloshotsrule]

pivo- you are now "minister of coming up with names for operations and other stuff we need names for including other ministers and secretaries and such"

from here on out, you shall make the official proclamations of names for positions

i feel that perhaps before 2k16, we might have some of our nerdy people come up with a time machine, bust us all forward to 2k16, and start this all in motion

i think that'd be for the best


i would also like to note that we shouldn't be too hard on any current group or administration here, as we don't want to cut off any ties before we come to power. we can do all that after..... ;)

[vniow]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
I also need lot of hot chicks to play the "liberated" Iranian women. Studies show that recruitment is much more successful if the troops imagine they'll be taking liberties with...erm, I mean "liberating" hot pieces of ass. Engaging in lesbian acts will be a crucial role and will be required of many of the actresses, as this has been shown to increase support for the war effort by at least 26%. Every man loves lesbians; portraying a nation full of oppressed, sexually promiscuous lesbians will be a grand slam.

Oohh, can I be the poster girl?

[jelloshotsrule]

we have to see what you got going on first? you may be on the inside of this all powerful regime, but that doesn't put you beyond standards. hell, if any of our women hit a certain body fat % even.... well... i'll leave that to your imagination.

though you will have the benefit of the doubt, as well as unrestricted and all expense paid surgeries or whatever else you need/want

[pivo6]

Originally posted by vniow
Oohh, can I be the poster girl?

As my first official act as minister, I hereby proclaim you, vniow, as talent scout. In this role, you will have the important task of determining who play the *liberated* women in our newscasts. You can use any means at your disposal.

[pseudobrit]

Just keep in mind that at any time, we may need you to switch hit and do some lesbian porno...er, promotional spots.

This is crucial.

i would also like to note that we shouldn't be too hard on any current group or administration here, as we don't want to cut off any ties before we come to power. we can do all that after.....

You mean we'll "cut off ties" with our "long knives" at night, right? ;)

[vniow]

I think I'm going to like baing the Official PPP Party Talent Scout, I get access to all the surgical enhancements I need, I can use any means at my disposal and I get to become a porn actress!!

jellohotsdrool:

If I have access to all the surgical enhancements what difference does it make what I look like now?

Anyhoo.....

5'8"
Size 8
Great taste in shoes.

And I will hearby make my status known below every post that I now make.

[pseudobrit]

I've added my status as well.

They WILL respect our authority!

[pseudobrit]

WOW! Zimbabwe is apparently an untapped source of wealth. The people there will buy anything at any price.

How do I know, you ask?

This article (http://www.thestandard.co.zw/sections/front_reader.asp?st_id=1139) describes the government "splurging" on some twelve Peugeot 406es to the tune of $4B.

Any country willing to plop down $150 million dollars on a mere Mercedes-Benz E-class sedan is obviously swimming in capital.

I say the first thing we do is extract this wealth before ruining the population. We'll ship a boatload of Benzes over at a cost to us of about $40K apiece, sell them at $100 million, undercutting the current price by 30% and suck their enormous wealth out! At a profit of about $100 million per car, with 3000 cars, we can make like 30 trillion dollars or something! Yes!

Now all we need is a name for the ministry in charge of this operation. I believe the job of naming these things belongs to someone else...

[alex_ant]

I was going to mention that those are Zimbabwe dollars (a cheap substitute for toilet paper), but if we don't tell anyone that, and we get rid of the Zs in front of the $ signs, no one will ever know!

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by alex_ant
I was going to mention that those are Zimbabwe dollars (a cheap substitute for toilet paper), but if we don't tell anyone that, and we get rid of the Zs in front of the $ signs, no one will ever know!

Remember, it's not what actually happens that matters, it's what you can make people think has happened.

The truth is only perception, after all.

Poland invaded Germany in 1939, if you remember correctly.

[alex_ant]

No, Germany invaded EVERYONE, and then it took the United States of America Under God to come and save Europe and Britain and the rest of the world from the forces of Evil. Poland isn't a country, it's a sausage. I know this stuff because I'm Secretary of Offense and Sec. of History. Of course I'm Sec. of History - I was always Sec. of History.

[pivo6]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
WOW! Zimbabwe is apparently an untapped source of wealth. The people there will buy anything at any price.

How do I know, you ask?

This article (http://www.thestandard.co.zw/sections/front_reader.asp?st_id=1139) describes the government "splurging" on some twelve Peugeot 406es to the tune of $4B.

Any country willing to plop down $150 million dollars on a mere Mercedes-Benz E-class sedan is obviously swimming in capital.

I say the first thing we do is extract this wealth before ruining the population. We'll ship a boatload of Benzes over at a cost to us of about $40K apiece, sell them at $100 million, undercutting the current price by 30% and suck their enormous wealth out! At a profit of about $100 million per car, with 3000 cars, we can make like 30 trillion dollars or something! Yes!

Now all we need is a name for the ministry in charge of this operation. I believe the job of naming these things belongs to someone else...

Any country that buys a Peugeot deserves to be invaded. I hereby name this first phase of the operation: OPERATION I NEED A BENZ. This should allow you ample time to come up with the appropriate graphics and music for this phase.

[alex_ant]

OK, the graphic is below. The official song will be: http://members.aol.com/midman/landocon.mid

[jelloshotsrule]

i'm very proud to see the progress that has been taking place while i've been using civ 3 as a sort of "scenario generator" as it were.. it seems that if we attack the persians with our impis, then we will come out on top....

but i guess we all knew that

i would like to show my official presidential endorsement for operation i need a benz.

there's gotta be a way to get some zimbabwean ass out of it too... to "extract" it, as you say.

also, ale x_ant is clearly our resident artist... absolutely amazing graphics. you sure you don't have a quad or octo 970 to power those hi end graphics???

[vniow]

Originally posted by alex_ant
The official song will be: http://members.aol.com/midman/landocon.mid

Oh wow, that's classic, now someone needs to find the video to make it all complete.

[vniow]

Aha!

Found it, gimme about 10 hours to download it for no practical reason whatsoever! (except to further the intrests of the PPP of course)

[pivo6]

Originally posted by alex_ant
The official song will be: http://members.aol.com/midman/landocon.mid
The music reminds me of some mall salesman killing time at a music store. I love it.

[pivo6]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
[B]i would like to show my official presidential endorsement for operation i need a benz.

there's gotta be a way to get some zimbabwean ass out of it too... to "extract" it, as you say./B]

Remember that Operation I need a Benz is just phase 1. I still have to name the actual invasion, and then the "gleaning of the fruit of Zimbabwe" phase after that.

[trebblekicked]

i know it's a bit late in the process, but what can i do to help?

i can honestly say that the key values expressed by the PPP are in line with mine, and henceforth my resources and expertise shall be at your disposal.

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by trebblekicked
i know it's a bit late in the process, but what can i do to help?

i can honestly say that the key values expressed by the PPP are in line with mine, and henceforth my resources and expertise shall be at your disposal.
Well, let's see who we've got already:

- Me
- Jello's Hot
- Robert Mugabe
- Whatever their names are with the long acronyms
- Someone to feed us grapes
- A leader of the president's council on physical fitness
- Probably a few others I forgot

You mention your resources and expertise - can you please post your resumé so we can have a better idea of where you, as a cog, will fit in into our mechanism of political clockwork?

[trebblekicked]

Name: Trebblekicked, esq.
Alias(s): SM Jenkins, Conduit-4-SALE, Detroyt Jack, Future Bible Hero

Education: MBA from Soloman University (Damascus Campus), BA in Sabotage/Popular Manipulation from Guam Prep.

Previous Employment: 1985-1994 Sandcastle Waterpark, Pittsburgh PA. Worked as a "runner" bringing food from the grill area to the register area.

1994-95 Sandcastle Waterpark- promoted to "cashier". promptly fired.

1999-2001 RAND corporation- oversaw installment of splinter factions in sub-3rd-world and pretend nations, including paramilitary orginazations, popular confusion devices (most recognizably the "new beetle" commercials for subsidiary Volkswagen) and PR deployments.

2001-02- Promoted to supervisory position. Promptly fired.

2002-March 28th- Dow-Corning Progressive Sciences- Assisted in development of crowd pleasing "capitulation aerosol" for use abroad, "complacency aerosol" for domestic use. Quit to write novel.

March 28th-present- quit writing novel to support fledging political parties.

Special Skills: lying, cheating, overspending, idealism, cynicism, eliteism, impatience, deck hockey.

Myself in Five Words: lumber, snaps, bench, belt, fork.

references: Les Kern, i guess thats it.

resources: 3 canon xl1s video cameras, 1 sony vx2000, 1 sharp viewcam, glidecam v-16, lowel dp 650 kit, etc. hockey stick and goal.

i feel that should you need one person to simutaneously fill the offices of "popular subversionist" and "hockey team captain", i'm your man. failing that, i guess i could do your grunt work. i'm good with people, after all...

[pseudobrit]

We need a right wing and a pillager. You in?

[trebblekicked]

like flynn.

[jelloshotsrule]

again, i see all this overflow of support and i weep... i weep from my pee hole into my pants. but it's essentially the same

i am not surprised by this support, but that doesn't mean i am any less emotional to it....

one last question i would have for you, trebblekicked esq.... well perhaps it's two parts....

a- when you were "promptly fired".... was it because you were now in more of a position of public spotlight and thus pissed your pants??

b- regardless of the answer to part a... would you be willing to piss your pants on live television??

[amnesiac1984]

Can I help the effort over this side of the world by forming the Pants Pissing Party of England:

or PPPoE ?

:D :D

[alex_ant]

Trebblekicked - VERY impressive. I kind of forgot the whole structure of our party at this point, but you will make a great pillager.

amnesiac - Absolutely! Whatever gives more competition to the SLIP.

[vniow]

I concur with alex, very impressive trebblekicked.

When the time comes, will you help me pillage then liberate those poor Iranian lesbian women and make a 'documentary' afterwards?

[trebblekicked]

the joy of having a purpose is with me again!
thank you for your warm welcome, PPP. hot jello, to answer part a, the very second i was promoted to chashier, i actualy pissed my pants in my manager's office. she was none too pleased. the second time i was fired for forcing my RAND subserviants to piss their pants. So as you can see, me and P'ing my P have quite a history. Needless to say, i'd piss my pants on live television in a heartbeat.

May i hereby accept my role as Official Right Wing and Pillager (ORWAP) of the PPP?

Vniow- the pillaging goes without saying. also, i am all about this "documentary". We need someone to help with wardrobe. From what i hear, Iran is not "disturbingly" poor. If we can get some real swaddling clothes, i'd feel better. Let's brainstorm a script. I'm thinking two poor lesbian iranian girls are mourning their lack of certain freedoms...

[ThoughtKriminal]

Okay, is it just me or are all of you COMPLETELY ignoring how hot the swedish swim team is? can we please get our damn priorities together and start Operation Swedish Liberty before we all need viagra to put our conquest to a good use?

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by ThoughtKriminal
Okay, is it just me or are all of you COMPLETELY ignoring how hot the swedish swim team is? can we please get our damn priorities together and start Operation Swedish Liberty before we all need viagra to put our conquest to a good use?

i like the way you think.....

pivo can certainly come up with a more appropriate name though, after all... that's his job

welcome to the team kriminal... i assume that pissing your pants is something that comes naturally....?

[trebblekicked]

Originally posted by ThoughtKriminal
Okay, is it just me or are all of you COMPLETELY ignoring how hot the swedish swim team is? can we please get our damn priorities together and start Operation Swedish Liberty before we all need viagra to put our conquest to a good use?

i agree with jello. you are a man of great virtue. still, you're steping on pivo's toes. he gets to name everything.

Which reminds me, i need to petition Pivo for a name/status/office. Pivo, please read me resume and qualifications and assign an apropriate title as needed.

vive le PPP.

[pivo6]

Originally posted by ThoughtKriminal
Okay, is it just me or are all of you COMPLETELY ignoring how hot the swedish swim team is? can we please get our damn priorities together and start Operation Swedish Liberty before we all need viagra to put our conquest to a good use?

I admire your ambition and Sweden is certainly a goal in which we all would like to score in. However, all of our resources are currently directed towards Zimbabwe. Lets not lose sight of that. After the Zimbabwe campaign, I'm sure that Jello will reassess the next target. Until that target is announced, then the appropriate name will be given.

[pivo6]

Originally posted by trebblekicked
i agree with jello. you are a man of great virtue. still, you're steping on pivo's toes. he gets to name everything.

Which reminds me, i need to petition Pivo for a name/status/office. Pivo, please read me resume and qualifications and assign an apropriate title as needed.

vive le PPP.

Jello is the man, and he may name offices as he sees fit. So I do declare that you are Right Wing and Pillager. Can you also center the first line or is rught wing it?

[jelloshotsrule]

we are running a very flexible campaign. if we see the need to switch gears during our assault on the evil nation of zimbabwe (if i can really call them a nation).... we will do so.

that is to say, if we have depleted our fine american bred ass here, then we will begin to look elsewhere at the appropriate time. however, i have the feeling that we should have a decent supply at least until the completion of operation i need a benz. then again, let's be honest.... it'll take us like 5 minutes to finish that up, so our ladies should be aplenty throughout

again i remind you, we are flexible in our strategy, and will continue to reassess our status as needed

thank you for your diligence all. i piss my pants to commend you

[trebblekicked]

i can center the line. to be honest, right wing has too many political connotations. but on the upside, the acromyn flows (ORWaP). tough call. jello? any thoughts?

in addition, since my pillager status is official, i'm going to run with my gramaticall error:

please read me resume and qualifications

from now on, all pillagers must replace the word "my" with "me". example:

i think i just pissed my pants becomes
i think i just pissed me pants.

this will assist in projecting a pillager-esque persona, thus creating more fear and panic. this will increase our personal enjoyment of raids by 40-50%, and we all know a happy pillager is a succesful pillager.

move for motion PPP-p001a ratification dated March 29, 2003, 8:24 PPM EST. All those in favor?

[vniow]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule


thank you for your diligence all. i piss my pants to commend you

We should all piss our pants to commerorate this momentous occasion.

*Raises glass of Kool-ade*

[pseudobrit]

No need to ratify the motion. This isn't a democracy. Just a rubber stamp dictatorship.


If anyone disagrees with you, just kill them and rape their family or something. You know, the fun stuff.

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by vniow
We should all piss our pants to commerorate this momentous occasion.

*Raises glass of Kool-ade*

http://koolaidgirl.tripod.com/kamananimated.gif

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
http://koolaidgirl.tripod.com/kamananimated.gif


i just see a tripod logo..................

EDIT: i now see it, using camino rather than safari... well found.


and pivo- just piss on it (as in, shake on it) and call it a deal

what is ORWaP?

i thought there should be a C in it for center.....

nviow- kool-AID!!!

[trebblekicked]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
what is ORWaP?

i thought there should be a C in it for center.....


Official Right Wing and Pillager becomes
Official Right Wing/Center and Pillager...

ORW/CaP of the PPP it is.

can we pillage yet?

[jelloshotsrule]

you have my approval

pillage at will

[ThoughtKriminal]

Why is there a Department of Pillage and not Departments of Rape, Murder, and Burn as well? I think it would be easier just to have one giant Bureau of Rape, Pillage, Murder, and Burn. (BRPMBPPP) or just call it the "Ministry of Peace" for short.

via le PPP! via le REVOLUTION!

:D

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by ThoughtKriminal
Why is there a Department of Pillage and not Departments of Rape, Murder, and Burn as well? I think it would be easier just to have one giant Bureau of Rape, Pillage, Murder, and Burn. (BRPMBPPP) or just call it the "Ministry of Peace" for short.

via le PPP! via le REVOLUTION!

:D
In due time my friend, in due time.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by ThoughtKriminal
Why is there a Department of Pillage and not Departments of Rape, Murder, and Burn as well? I think it would be easier just to have one giant Bureau of Rape, Pillage, Murder, and Burn. (BRPMBPPP) or just call it the "Ministry of Peace" for short.

via le PPP! via le REVOLUTION!

:D

again, love the enthusiasm.

but... get rid of the french stuff... haven't you seen how they treat us?????


also, amnesiac- how are things looking over there? will we meet any resistance at all? not that we wouldn't overcome it. i'd slate our takeover of europe for maybe... 2k17

[trebblekicked]

here's an update, fellow PPP'ers

the pillaging has begun. Once i landed in botswana, i recruited a bunch of zinbabwe-hatin' locals to help, and man were they up to task! as you can see by the map posted below, we crossed over from Botswana and left Plumtree, Zimbabwe a burning mess! You should have been there. The ass is superb, jello. Just superb. we've been playing this tape of someone speaking in whatever it is they speak here, which says "the day of your liberation is near!" over and over again. It's hillarious! There isn't much to plunder yet, but there was plenty of stuff with emotional value, so we just took that. After a busy night, we all sat at the fire, had some coffee and talked about religion.
Tommorrow, we're splitting up, 'cause i heard there's a hockey rink in Gwanada, but N'Dwigo (this cat i met in Nata) has some vendetta against some people in Bulawaye, so he's taking some folks up that way. Anyhow, i'm going to get some rest and pack up. I'll drop you guys a line in a bit! kwaheri (swahili for goodbye. i know they don't speak swahili, but close enough, right?)
trebblekicked

[trebblekicked]

here's the map!

>EDIT: either attatchments aren't working or it's a SLIP conspiracy to make us look bad.

[alex_ant]

Excellent report comrade. I believe the reason the image attachments aren't working is due to our sabotage of the Macrumors fora. Everything will be back to normal once we get our one MILLION dollars!

[vniow]

Excellent trebblekicked, I will attempt to invade and conq....I mean liberate the promiscuous Iranian lesbian women after we get paid our one MILLION dollars so that I may go through the neccecary surgeries required to complete my mission. (and 1,000,000,000,000,000 packs of Kool-aid just to keep my energy up)

[pivo6]

Originally posted by trebblekicked
here's an update, fellow PPP'ers

the pillaging has begun..... Don't forget that Operation I want a Benz is also going on. My Mercury Sable (comapny car) just doesn't do it for me anymore. I need that Benz.

[pseudobrit]

We need to add Ferraris to that plan.

Chicks love Ferraris. Especially Iranian promiscuous lesbian women. I can pick up loads of them. Make it a 456M. Four seats for more lesbos!

Oh, crap -- there I go, buying into me own propaganda. We must have a very diligent "Minister of Truth for the Inner Party" (someone needs to come up with a more cocked up name for that).

We musn't make the same mistake that the current "leadership" is.

[jelloshotsrule]

i am more than a little bit pleased to see that the pillaging is underway....

try to post that map so that we have a better idea of what's going on.

someone should start a ppp website so that we don't divulge our secrets to the world (a la macrumors) with fancy password protection and all that jazzy shiite

ale x_ant... does zimbabwe have a similar tactic with ferraris? let's heed the request to hunt down some ferraris, and it woudl benefit us most to have operation i need a ferrari to coincide with operation i need a benz.

[pseudobrit]

Wouldn't that be something more like Operation I need a Ferrari to get some promiscuous Iranian lesbian hot chicks to sleep with me?

Oh, crap, I forgot there is no Iranian hot chicks; they're just actresses. We really need this Ministry of internal truth to keep us on track here...

[vniow]

Fellow Pants Pissers, I believe I am due for a status report on my mission.

After we recieved the one MILLION dollars from our behind-closed-doors Macrumors ransom demands, I took a portion of it and had the necessary surguries done so that I may now have my boobs imprinted into the official PPP flag among other things...

I started in Italy so that I could pick up a freshly built four seat Ferrari and so I could pick up my actress accomplices.

We then drove down to Iran (with two of the actresses making out in the back seat all the way down there, we traded spaces depending on who was more awake at the time)

We then met with our underground Iranian Lesbian Pornography ring so that we could start implementing our secret plan to liberate the rest of the promiscuous lesbian Iranians, putting subliminal messages in the videos which can only be heard when you rewind the tape (or spin the DVD on a pole, take your pick)

So far all is well, the unsuspecting people who rent the videos tend to watch them over and over again so there is plenty of rewinding being done, the plan is being set in motion, I'll keep our fellow PPP members updated as it goes.

[alex_ant]

VROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!

[trebblekicked]

Day two is currently underway. we're on the march to Gwanada, and the lush green pastures and beautiful canopies of the african savanah are the perfect backdrop to me own special brand of pillaging. Just to stay on our toes, we ransacked a farm this morning. I've seen more talented pillagers mind you, but these guys are all about teamwork. i've taken a small group from my now hundereds-thick herd and anointed them my "Ministers of Sinisters". I am renaming them after PPP senior members, in true cult-of-personality fashion.

N'Dwigo saw the logos for operation "i need a benz" and "i need a ferrari" and wants to be called "Alex_Ant's Graphical Powersauce". i told him i'd think about it. then i punched him in the gut to show him who's boss. he pissed his pants, apologized for being too ambitious and left. I told him he was forgiven, and we're cool now. So what do you say? Can i bestow upon him this name? Oh, and i have found at least one person who idolizes each of you. They need new "western" names too. Send your recomendations my way. Onward, the road is long, and me rage is building again.
-tk

[trebblekicked]

alex, jello, psuedorbit, pivo-
sounds like you guys got things pretty much in control. if you want some zimbabwe ass or just need to vent some anger, i can send the PPP jet your way. it's just sitting there on the map. i just know the tedium of office work and that sometimes you just need to get out into the field. well, the "ministers of sinisters" have kept one of the cows we pillaged this morning in case you guys should swing by.

vniow-
your progress it astounding. if there is anything of zimbabwein origin you could use, let me know. i have found some struggling actresses who could use a break in the iranian film scene. this whole zimbabwe pillage run should go for another day or so, and then i might swing up yr way to see if i can lend a hand.

[pseudobrit]

All in favor of renaming "West Nicholson" "Jack Nicholson" say aye.

"Aye"

Good, we agree. Fix the map.

[jelloshotsrule]

amazing work trebble

bestow whatever names you feel suitable. you are head pillager and i trust your decisions... just clear it with pivo for the finalization... then again, we'll probably get rid of those people once we're done using them anyway...

and yes, i heartily support pseudo's motion. make it happen

as for the jet... well, i'm having a decent time in my presidential palace back in the homeland (where freedom is first! at least on tv)

alas, i have to go, some ladies saw me piss my pants on the street last night and.. well... that was just the start of a wild night... keep up the good work. i can't thank our field agents enough

[pivo6]

Originally posted by trebblekicked
...N'Dwigo saw the logos for operation "i need a benz" and "i need a ferrari" and wants to be called "Alex_Ant's Graphical Powersauce". i told him i'd think about it. then i punched him in the gut to show him who's boss. he pissed his pants, apologized for being too ambitious and left. I told him he was forgiven, and we're cool now. So what do you say? Can i bestow upon him this name? Oh, and i have found at least one person who idolizes each of you. They need new "western" names too. Send your recomendations my way. Onward, the road is long, and me rage is building again.
-tk

You may start naming your followers yourself. I suggest that you name them after anyone who has been on the Hollywood Squares. I would start with Paul Lynde and Waylon and Madam.

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by trebblekicked
alex, jello, psuedorbit, pivo-
sounds like you guys got things pretty much in control. if you want some zimbabwe ass or just need to vent some anger, i can send the PPP jet your way. it's just sitting there on the map. i just know the tedium of office work and that sometimes you just need to get out into the field. well, the "ministers of sinisters" have kept one of the cows we pillaged this morning in case you guys should swing by.

vniow-
your progress it astounding. if there is anything of zimbabwein origin you could use, let me know. i have found some struggling actresses who could use a break in the iranian film scene. this whole zimbabwe pillage run should go for another day or so, and then i might swing up yr way to see if i can lend a hand.
That is one HUGE ASS jet! I think what I'm going to do is be like that engineer guy in Contact who lives in his jet and never lands... Except for the having terminal cancer part. If the Iranian Lesbian Porno ring ever needs a place to film, I humbly offer my cockpit.

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by alex_ant
That is one HUGE ASS jet! I think what I'm going to do is be like that engineer guy in Contact who lives in his jet and never lands... Except for the having terminal cancer part. If the Iranian Lesbian Porno ring ever needs a place to film, I humbly offer my cockpit.

Agreed. That jet is roughly 39.3994 miles long.

Those are some huge ass arrows too. Are the bows that shot them cloaked or what? The backward people of ZImbabwe will tremble when they see how big our peni... er, arrows are.

[trebblekicked]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
All in favor of renaming "West Nicholson" "Jack Nicholson" say aye.

"Aye"

Good, we agree. Fix the map.

done and done. today's pillaging went without incident. i taught the crew the words to "tubthumping" by "Chumbawamba". they sand it over and over and over. Needless to say, a few turned on each other by the end of the night, but what can you do? Here's the amended map. When the Bulawaye crew found out the town was called Jack Nicholson, they changed course imediately. not that i can blame them.

today's spoils:
four wedding cows
one rusted spoon
six machettes
seven books of matches
one rusted fork
one red Fiat Punto (sorry it's no Benz, but getting closer!)
four soccer balls
and yes
ONE HOCKEY RINK!
it's been renamed the Burce Valance Memorial Hockey Rink.

[jelloshotsrule]

the new map looks great

i assume the little flames are where most of the death/pillaging is taking place??? excellent

i would recommend setting up hockey rinks in all pillaged towns that don't already have them

also, any signs of possible benz dealerships or underground cities full of benz/ferraris? keep us posted.


how are the natives taking to pissing their pants???

[trebblekicked]

how does this affect our plans?

link (http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/03/31/zimbabwe.election.reut/index.html)

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by trebblekicked
how does this affect our plans?

link (http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/03/31/zimbabwe.election.reut/index.html)

it doesn't. just be a bit more selective in your pillaging. but in the long run... let's be honest, they're not with us, so they're against us

take em down. plus, we have too much to not gain if we don't continue the pillaging... benz. ferraris. etc etc.

[amnesiac1984]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule

also, amnesiac- how are things looking over there? will we meet any resistance at all? not that we wouldn't overcome it. i'd slate our takeover of europe for maybe... 2k17

I'm currently in negotiations with the BNP (british national party, local fascists, sort of like the neo nazis in American history x). I am thinking of integrating with their lot as they already have a pretty big following. Changing its name to PPPoE will stop the complaints from the rest of society as they hate those fascist bastards.

I had a really good meeting with the former head of BNP, he's now my Minister of making our opponents piss their pants. He's very good at it as he is 6'6" with a shaved head, tattooed all over and his body looks like a white, bald, Muhammad ali.

I went to see Her Majesty the Queen, she pissed her pants. I went to see Prince Charles, and he pissed his pants and I to see Richard Branson and he pissed his pants, He'll be my Minister of Embezzlement, I mean treasurer.

While speaking to the Queen, she was very supportive, She actually has a tattoos all over her arms and was a member of the BNP before giving it up to become queen. She said that it would be very easy to take most of our former empire back as they never really left us, we just paid some local idiot to take charge of his country but remain secretly loyal to us. This includes Australia and New Zealand as well, so its going pretty well here.

First off we're gonna send a a load of complimentary british beef to France, full of special chemicals so they piss themselves. Then we will send an army of rats down the channel tunnel, all of which, will be infected with bubonic plague, or even that newfangled SARS form of neumonia.

Thats the round up for the last few days, sorry I didn't post but have been busy, but I hope these results so far are too your satisfaction, oh great master across the sea.

:P

[pivo6]

Pseudobrit,

Here is something for your office.

[pivo6]

Pseudobrit,

One more

[jelloshotsrule]

thank you for the report amnesiac

i am glad to see the world starting to take to the pissing... and your plan with the tainted beef is simply brilliant

bravo!

also, bravo on the pics pivo!

[vniow]

Originally posted by trebblekicked
vniow-
your progress it astounding. if there is anything of zimbabwein origin you could use, let me know. i have found some struggling actresses who could use a break in the iranian film scene. this whole zimbabwe pillage run should go for another day or so, and then i might swing up yr way to see if i can lend a hand.

More actresses would be great, the current ones are getting too tired, all that acting is really taking a toll....

If you could also bring some native Zimbabwe sex toys that would be excellent, of course we could also use some more male actors, all women can get boring after awhile..

[vniow]

Current state of the world according to the PPP:

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by vniow
Current state of the world according to the PPP:
Absolutely brilliant! I'm disturbed by the lack of blue "will pillage" dots, although at least the moose aren't spared. Maybe you only left the dots out because they wouldn't all fit?

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Absolutely brilliant! I'm disturbed by the lack of blue "will pillage" dots, although at least the moose aren't spared. Maybe you only left the dots out because they wouldn't all fit?

agreed. wonderful start. but let's make most of the rest of the map blue dots!

doesn't matter if the stuff is "good". if it's out there. it should be ours


who's setting up our website? where the hell is the true nerd population here????

[Rower_CPU]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
who's setting up our website? where the hell is the true nerd population here????

Guess you mean me...hang on while I whip up a fresh batch of web-based propaganda...

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU
Guess you mean me...hang on while I whip up a fresh batch of web-based propaganda...

well i didn't mean you specifically

but c'mon... we're on a mac site and we don't even have our own site yet??!?!?

i'm just a little disappointed with that is all

i wonder if the mac.com name "PPP" is taken....... hmmmm

[vniow]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Absolutely brilliant! I'm disturbed by the lack of blue "will pillage" dots, although at least the moose aren't spared. Maybe you only left the dots out because they wouldn't all fit?


I apoligize, there were supposed to be a lot more, but my virtual ink ran out after the first few, sorry.

I'll refill it and redo everything tomorrow.

[Rower_CPU]

OK, PPP online version 1 is up!!!

http://organicallydigital.com/ppp/

Those of you on a Mozilla based browser get a special treat...

[vniow]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU
OK, PPP online version 1 is up!!!

http://organicallydigital.com/ppp/

Those of you on a Mozilla based browser get a special treat...


Excellent, you will now be in charge in posting updates for all the world to see, pivo6 will announce your title whenever he sees fit.

[alex_ant]

I LOVE the blinking! You should make everything blink! Here is a page that I think will be useful in helping improving the PPP page:

http://www.ecnet.net/users/gas52r0/Jay/

[jelloshotsrule]

a nice start for sure

we will need to come up with the revised list, to take the current operations into account. and maybe a list of the cabinet and all that

good start

make the blinking work in safari!

alex's example site = perfect

[Rower_CPU]

Originally posted by alex_ant
I LOVE the blinking! You should make everything blink! Here is a page that I think will be useful in helping improving the PPP page:

http://www.ecnet.net/users/gas52r0/Jay/

Good suggestions...let me work on it for a minute...

[amnesiac1984]

At this rate we can take over the universe by fall.

Nice work on the website Rower, I think someone should hack the aljazeera site again to make it point to ours.

[amnesiac1984]

Oh, I'm playing a short set in a pub tonight on my guitar, shall I slip in our new anthem into the set? I'll have to write it first
.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by amnesiac1984
Oh, I'm playing a short set in a pub tonight on my guitar, shall I slip in our new anthem into the set? I'll have to write it first
.

please do. make it seem all epic and ****e. people love that. they'll eat it up!

[pivo6]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU
OK, PPP online version 1 is up!!!

http://organicallydigital.com/ppp/

Those of you on a Mozilla based browser get a special treat...

Obviously, you are a man with extraordinary talents, aside from pissing your pants in public. i designate the title of Secertary of Highly Intelligent Thought (****) to your list of offices that you already hold.

[pseudobrit]

I just crapped my pants.

Is this allowed under party policy?

Maybe I've inadvertently started an inner faction of the PPP, the PooP-P.

[WinterMute]

Listen guys, having never pissed my pants, I'm probably never destined to hold high office in the PPP, even though I am a white, upper middle class male (and English, so I get to really understand the class issue).

I was wondering if you could do me a favour and add Scotland to your list, it's only small and it's cold and draughty and really drunk most of the time, could you just like, carpet bomb it or something once you've finished in the warmer countries that is?

I did once blow a three foot bogey out of one nostril, but it pales into insignificance in the face of such trouser activity.

Your New Best Friends:D

[jelloshotsrule]

wintermute-

i personally would like to see some credentials. though i assure you we will not pass up any countries worthy of bombing of any sort. the cabinet members will discuss the issue of moving scotland up on the timeline at the next meeting.

i would recommend directing future questions to amnesiac, head of our europe division. and he can determine the validity of any future concerns.

thanks and look forward to having you aboard (if you're up to snuff)

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by WinterMute
I was wondering if you could do me a favour and add Scotland to your list, it's only small and it's cold and draughty and really drunk most of the time, could you just like, carpet bomb it or something once you've finished in the warmer countries that is?

Scotland is so far reserved for pillaging. Once we've pillaged all the sheep, we may consider bombings to subdue the suddenly blueballed Scotsmen.

Being Irish, I have a bone to pick with them anyway.

Anyway, you need to piss your pants. Now. Or we kills you for infiltrating our party as a dastardly traitor.

[vniow]

Everything is going as planned, eyelikeart and his masterful excretion abilities are now being harnessed (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23442) by the PPP, our scientists are looking at them for their weapons cababilities.

[trebblekicked]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
Scotland is so far reserved for pillaging. Once we've pillaged all the sheep, we may consider bombings to subdue the suddenly blueballed Scotsmen.

Being Irish, I have a bone to pick with them anyway.

Anyway, you need to piss your pants. Now. Or we kills you for infiltrating our party as a dastardly traitor.

i'm on it. the sheep of scotland shall know nothing but the terror that is the PPPPalbtMoS. Any scots out there? just ask your buddies in zimbabwe what happened last time someone crossed us.
a zimbabwe pillage update is delayed. i had to rush back to HQ to participate in some upper-echelon black ops (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23442&perpage=25&pagenumber=3) There's one more place africa-side i want to check out before i burn the evidence...i'll be back in a day.

[amnesiac1984]

WinterMute,

and jello

As head of europe division, I strongly adviseyou consider my plans to move scotland nearer the top of at least hte europe divisions shedule. I was attacked by an aberdeen bull while a young chil on holiday there, I pissed my pants and it really annoyed me, only I shall choose when I shall piss my pants. For this reason I strongly recommmend we carpet bomb those highland hillbilly's until the cows litteral go home.

[jelloshotsrule]

commence operation "(we need a name here namey namerton)" as soon as all the sheep have been had....

[pivo6]

The pillaging of Scotland will be called Operation Haggis tastes like chicken.

[vniow]

I think before we are to move on to our next plan, we should take a look back and see how it all began:

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=184474#post184474

[pivo6]

May I suggest these two lads to help out in Scotland or wherever. Of course this is Mad Dog Vachon and Baron von Raschke.

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by vniow
I think before we are to move on to our next plan, we should take a look back and see how it all began:

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=184474#post184474

Of course we must rewrite that history.

Jesus started the PPP and we're simply carrying out his work. Therefore all who oppose us are Satan's minions.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by vniow
I think before we are to move on to our next plan, we should take a look back and see how it all began:

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=184474#post184474

wow..... *wipes the piss from his pants*.... i'm so proud...

it's amazing to look back only a few months to the revelation in my heart/soul that the PPP was the future and see how far i've come. i used to listen to other people who disagreed with me. now i accept that i'm right and i erradicate those who disagree (or i have one of my fellow pissers aid me in the erradication)

thanks for the memories....


pivo- i'd be disappointed if those two blokes *weren't* involved!

[vniow]

Aye, those were some fine memories, we actually listened to each other rather than spout out or plans for world domination.

*sniffle*

On a lighter note, Operation Pillage and Conq....I mean Liberate the Promiscuous Iranian Lesbian Women is going quite well, after I am finished here, I will move on to Scotland and help out with their effort.

[jelloshotsrule]

i'd like to take a moment and thank steve jobs et al at apple for enabling all of us to stay so well connected despite being all over the world in various inferior, 3rd world countries.... quite amazing really.

[pivo6]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
i'd like to take a moment and thank steve jobs et al at apple for enabling all of us to stay so well connected despite being all over the world in various inferior, 3rd world countries.... quite amazing really.
Don't you mean Al Gore for inventing the internet? Yes let's thank Steve for allowing us to think/act different(ly).

[vniow]

Fellow members of the PPP, we have just received an offer from one (the only) of the members of the WEP.

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?s=&goto=lastpost&threadid=23442

His resume sounds impressive, but we must give him the antidote of our nano-gnats for him to accept.
Should we take him up on his offer (only for a limited time!)

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by vniow
Fellow members of the PPP, we have just received an offer from one (the only) of the members of the WEP.

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?s=&goto=lastpost&threadid=23442

His resume sounds impressive, but we must give him the antidote of our nano-gnats for him to accept.
Should we take him up on his offer (only for a limited time!)
As the #2 PPP Honcho, I would advise against it. He seems suspicious. Imagine what would happen if we gave him our antidote and he double-crossed us. Our nano-gnats would be crippled. We are the PPP! WE set the conditions, not some dirty WEP member! Besides, if we let the WEP in, that means we'll have to let the ISDN (Incredibly Stupid Doofus Nutcases) in, and if we let THEM in, well, why don't we just let EVERYONE in? We are selective and elite! Aren't we? YES!!!

[pseudobrit]

He would have to prove his worth by committing suicide. Then we would welcome him.

[pseudobrit]

Nigeria's out of the question for plundering.

Due to our highly successful "4-1-9" cash extraction plan, there is but $6.30 (http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/30039.html) left in Nigeria now.

We still have options for bombing them open.

[jelloshotsrule]

someone making demands to try to sneak in??? hahahahaha

surely the mere thought was in jest

the cocksure attitude of some people is truly disturbing....

as for nigeria. grab that remaining $6.30 and i'll go ahead and order the bombing.

[vniow]

Originally posted by alex_ant
As the #2 PPP Honcho, I would advise against it. He seems suspicious. Imagine what would happen if we gave him our antidote and he double-crossed us. Our nano-gnats would be crippled. We are the PPP! WE set the conditions, not some dirty WEP member! Besides, if we let the WEP in, that means we'll have to let the ISDN (Incredibly Stupid Doofus Nutcases) in, and if we let THEM in, well, why don't we just let EVERYONE in? We are selective and elite! Aren't we? YES!!!

I have to agree, I was suspicuous also, but I thought I'd let the rest of the PPP know first.

[WinterMute]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
Scotland is so far reserved for pillaging. Once we've pillaged all the sheep, we may consider bombings to subdue the suddenly blueballed Scotsmen.

Being Irish, I have a bone to pick with them anyway.

Anyway, you need to piss your pants. Now. Or we kills you for infiltrating our party as a dastardly traitor.

OK, in a fit of terror after being so thoroughly threatened by pseudobrit, I promptly pissed my pants and have embraced the logical glory of a damp and smelly crotch.

Who do I kill first? I've got several black belts and am very good at wreaking very personal havoc on dissidents and foreign nationals who chose the wrong time to go on holiday.

Should I go to Haggis land and run the targeting lasers for the precision anti-haggis bombs?

I await your command in the Northern European theatre.

[trebblekicked]

Originally posted by WinterMute
OK, in a fit of terror after being so thoroughly threatened by pseudobrit, I promptly pissed my pants and have embraced the logical glory of a damp and smelly crotch.

Who do I kill first? I've got several black belts and am very good at wreaking very personal havoc on dissidents and foreign nationals who chose the wrong time to go on holiday.

Should I go to Haggis land and run the targeting lasers for the precision anti-haggis bombs?

I await your command in the Northern European theatre.

sounds like your fairly qualified to work with my crew. with jello's permission, i'd like to have you accompany us on our final pillaging run in zimbabwe. we're about four miles outside Jack Nicholson, and we're gonna take it down tommorow. Can you be there?

BTW- PPP'ers, i have great news. Operations I Need a Benz and I Need a Ferrari can be partially closed. Take a look at the spoils we came across today. It's hard to see, but that's the Mersaydeez SUV in the back there. Alex-Ant's Graphical Powersauce wanted to be in the front, and i wanted to punch him in the gut again, but i restrained and offered this compromise.

[trebblekicked]

i think we can call the Zimbabwe pillage experiment a success.

[pivo6]

Originally posted by trebblekicked
i think we can call the Zimbabwe pillage experiment a success.

Outstanding. I also love the Mt Rushmore-esque memorial that they made depicted the leaders of the PPP.

[alex_ant]

I have absolutely no idea what is going on. But good work, everybody!

[vniow]

Originally posted by pivo6
Outstanding. I also love the Mt Rushmore-esque memorial that they made depicted the leaders of the PPP.


Of course the burning question remains...

Which one of them is me?

[WinterMute]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by trebblekicked
[B]sounds like your fairly qualified to work with my crew. with jello's permission, i'd like to have you accompany us on our final pillaging run in zimbabwe. we're about four miles outside Jack Nicholson, and we're gonna take it down tommorow. Can you be there?[B]

This is destiny, I've long harboured the desire to stomp Jack Nicholson, and now I get the chance to flatten an entire town of the same name. I'm pissing my pants in anticipation.:D

I'm on the plane, Jello's approval pending, I'll need a PPP diplomatic bag for my kit, standard container size should do, I wouldn't want customs taking a gander at some of the nastier pieces, and your not supposed to take weapons grade plutonium into Africa... apparently.:confused:

Be there just before sunrise your time.

[pivo6]

Originally posted by vniow
Of course the burning question remains...

Which one of them is me?

The one with the surgically enhanced million dollar rack.:D

[amnesiac1984]

Any objections to moving down to bomb the welsh after we've finished up here in scotland? I'm gonna start working on a supreme regime anthem, any ideas for a title and lyrics?

[vniow]

Originally posted by pivo6
The one with the surgically enhanced million dollar rack.:D


Ah, the third from the left, I see it now.

amnesiac:

No objections here to bombing the Welsh, the more the merrier!

[vniow]

Originally posted by amnesiac1984
I'm gonna start working on a supreme regime anthem, any ideas for a title and lyrics?

http://members.aol.com/midman/stnbyme.mid

[amnesiac1984]

good idea, we need some lyric suggestions tho, alex_ant i think this may be your sort of thing? Oh and winter, is that you on my KDX server?

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by amnesiac1984
good idea, we need some lyric suggestions tho, alex_ant i think this may be your sort of thing? Oh and winter, is that you on my KDX server?
THE OFFICIAL PPP NATIONAL ANTHEM

-- Verse 1 --

I like to eat
I like to eat
I like to eat eat apples and bananas

-- Chorus --

Pants pissers rule, SLIP & WEP drool

-- Verse 2 --

A lake tay ayte
A lake tay ayte
A lake tay ayte ayte aypples aynd baynaynays

-- Chorus --
-- Verse 3 --

E leek tee eat
E leek tee eat
E leek tee eat eat eeples eend beneenees

-- Chorus --
-- Verse 4 --

O loke toh oat
O loke toh oat
O loke toh oat oat oples ond bononos

-- Breakdown --

I just pissed myself
I am the best
Ay jayst paced mayself
Ay aym the bayst
E jeest pieced meself
E eem the beest
Oh jost poced mosolf
Oh ohm tho bost
U joost pooced moosoolf
U ume thoo boost

-- Chorus --
-- Verse 5 --

U look tu oot
U look tu oot
U look tu oot oot ooples und bununus

BITCH!!

[jelloshotsrule]

as i've been MIA for a few hours, i will take a moment to offer a special pants pissing for the following things:

- wintermute describing our operations as "theatres" of combat..... amazing. and this alone has..... earned him a spot in the high ranks of the PPP! i piss to you friend!

- the various pictures offered by our outstanding personnel all around the world. amazing. i piss to you!

- the working on of our very own anthem (though i'm not sure i dig the tune, or know what it is.... someone brief me on this ****e!). personally i would like to see a anthem by committee.... maybe someone starts it up and then we all contribute.... that could fool. err.. show the world how democratic we are... i piss to you!


my only lack of piss goes for the status of the website... clearly work needs to be done on it. the map is now days old. how can our operations remain flexible without map updates??!?!!


EDIT: disregard my talk about the anthem. it clearly is perfect as is. bravo alex. i piss to you!

[vniow]

Things here in Iran are taking longer than expected, seems like when the porn tapes are being returned, they're not rewound!!

The sublimnal message can only be heard and processed when the tape is in rewind so if they don't rewind the tape our plan is useless!!

Plus to top that off, I'm having to hold it in for hours at a time, pissing my pants is a great relief for me and it greatly helps in my mission.

More after the commercial break.

[Rower_CPU]

Take a look, y'all:
http://organicallydigital.com/ppp/

Makes the piss well up in my urethra just looking at it... :)

[alex_ant]

Rower - You are a genius. The text blinks like a spasming kegel muscle, emptying its last drops of piss into the trousers of freedom. Well done.

[vniow]

Mmm..yes Rower, the text is pulsating to the exact rhythm as my bowels, the contrasting text is even more intoxicating, yesssss...

Oh snap, gotta run...

[trebblekicked]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU
Take a look, y'all:
http://organicallydigital.com/ppp/

Makes the piss well up in my urethra just looking at it... :)

this is.....

the greatest website i have ever seen.

i am putting a link in my sig. i piss to you, rower.

wintermute-
i'll pick you up at Jack Nicholson International Airport at 9:00 AM. we'll get breakfast at ihop , then pillage the ihop. we'll just feel out where we go from there. welcome aboard.

[WinterMute]

Originally posted by amnesiac1984
good idea, we need some lyric suggestions tho, alex_ant i think this may be your sort of thing? Oh and winter, is that you on my KDX server?

No, probably some ingrate just asking to get bombed back to the stone age.

Trebblekicked: i'll pick you up at Jack Nicholson International Airport at 9:00 AM. we'll get breakfast at ihop , then pillage the ihop. we'll just feel out where we go from there. welcome aboard.

Excellent, do they have waffles? You can't get good waffles in the UK. I need to pillage a waffle factory.

Jelloshotsrule: - wintermute describing our operations as "theatres" of combat..... amazing. and this alone has..... earned him a spot in the high ranks of the PPP! i piss to you friend!

Warm praise indeed, I am honoured to be pissed at by such PPP greats.

Finally, if we're gonna bomb the Welsh, can we avoid Llangollen, the in-laws live there and they're actually fairly decent people, however, every other Welsh town... er, WMD development site (phew) needs bombing down to bedrock.

Piss on, PPP:D

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by WinterMute
Finally, if we're gonna bomb the Welsh, can we avoid Llangollen, the in-laws live there and they're actually fairly decent people, however, every other Welsh town... er, WMD development site (phew) needs bombing down to bedrock.


i don't mean to be harsh by any means.... but you have made the same mistake pivo (bryson) made about his relatives in canada.... we stop our bombing/pillaging for no relatives.. that said, we would be happy to provide them with a presidential hut (can't all have palaces) in a safe portion of the world. (ie, USA or USoE)

rower- very well done! i was sorry to be harsh about the lack of updates. but if i have learned nothing else in my rise to power (eventually), i have learned great discipline (save for my bladder)... not only did our official website make me piss my pants, but i vomited narry a few times.

[WinterMute]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
i don't mean to be harsh by any means.... but you have made the same mistake pivo (bryson) made about his relatives in canada.... we stop our bombing/pillaging for no relatives.. that said, we would be happy to provide them with a presidential hut (can't all have palaces) in a safe portion of the world. (ie, USA or USoE)


Fair enough, could we put the presidential hut on a golf course, they'd be happy then?

It's getting very interesting out here, trebbelkicked and the crew are doing sterling work in the final pillaging, the country can't have much left that isn't securely annexed or knee-deep in piss, there are trouser-stained PPP members in Ferraris everywhere, life is good.

I'm proud to be associated with such a humanitarian liberation of another sovereign state.

Keep the piss flowing:D

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by WinterMute
Fair enough, could we put the presidential hut on a golf course, they'd be happy then?

Not unless you want them dead.

Golf courses will be subject to some of the heaviest bombing we have, using the MAUB (massive air-urine bomb) in addition to conventional weapons.

I hate golf, and since this is a wonderful democracy, we all hate golf now.

[WinterMute]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
Not unless you want them dead.

Golf courses will be subject to some of the heaviest bombing we have, using the MAUB (massive air-urine bomb) in addition to conventional weapons.

I hate golf, and since this is a wonderful democracy, we all hate golf now.

Ok, look, being as we're all in this to get as much out of it as we can... er... I mean all in it for the greater good of mankind;)... how about putting them in a bomb-proof presidential bunker near a golf course then they could at least have a few rounds before we turn it in to glass... er... liberate it?

I really do hate golf, in fact I'd really like to abolish all games that don't involve massive impact injuries or scantily-clad (lesbian) cheerleaders (preferable both).

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by WinterMute
I really do hate golf, in fact I'd really like to abolish all games that don't involve massive impact injuries or scantily-clad (lesbian) cheerleaders (preferable both).

All those in favor of making ice hockey (frozen piss, of course, with a crew of overwatered PPP members to flood the ice instead of a Zamboni) with lesbian Iranian hotass cheerleaders diddling each other during intermissions the national sport say "aye"

"Aye"

Good, we agree. Another productive day for PPP democracy. Or shall I say "pissocracy?"

[WinterMute]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
All those in favor of making ice hockey (frozen piss, of course, with a crew of overwatered PPP members to flood the ice instead of a Zamboni) with lesbian Iranian hotass cheerleaders diddling each other during intermissions the national sport say "aye"

"Aye"

Good, we agree. Another productive day for PPP democracy. Or shall I say "pissocracy?"

Fantastic, an agenda, an anthem, some wildly inaccurate maps and a national sport combining blood, piss and Iranian lesbian sex:D :D

I love this party.

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by WinterMute
I love this party.

We're putting the "party" back in "political party."

[jelloshotsrule]

fellow pants pissers, ladies and gentlemen of our conquered or soon to be conquered lands, lend me your stained trousers.

i am very much into golf, and as such i rule we will only bomb those golf courses deemed unworthy of myself and fellow PPP'ers. i fully support piss-based hockey as our national sport... however, i urge you to broaden your minds. golf as we know it is over, yes. but golf with iranian lesbians doing each other as we drive from hole to hole in our ferraris has just begun. there will be no more beer allowed on the courses, but rather kool aid. caddies? again, iranian (or other conquered lands') lesbians.

i hope this news finds all of you well, and that you will be able to alter plans as needed.

thank you, and keep up the pissy work

[vniow]

Originally posted by WinterMute
or scantily-clad (lesbian) cheerleaders (preferable both).


Some one called?


As the official PPP FoG, I would propose that all non-green and seedless grape fields be pillaged for the seeds always interrupt my daily soilage and the purple ones don't taste as good.

I'm thinking that we should only grow the grape fields on seleced golf courses, thoughts?

[vniow]

Originally posted by pseudobrit

Good, we agree. Another productive day for PPP democracy. Or shall I say "pissocracy?"

The piss must flow.....

[Rower_CPU]

Originally posted by vniow
The piss must flow.....

Indeed...we shall be marked with yellow on yellow eyes...

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU
Indeed...we shall be marked with yellow on yellow eyes...

is this some kind of asian slur???

which reminds me... we haven't really spoken about the future (or lackthereof) for asia.....

[pivo6]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
is this some kind of asian slur???

which reminds me... we haven't really spoken about the future (or lackthereof) for asia.....

I think tha North Korea was the only asian country on our original to do list. I believe that Operation Kimchee is about to begin.

[vniow]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
which reminds me... we haven't really spoken about the future (or lackthereof) for asia.....

According to the map (http://organicallydigital.com/ppp/ppp_world.jpg) there's not much there besides Jungle and Evil Commies, what can we do to pillage that?

[alex_ant]

Originally posted by vniow
According to the map (http://organicallydigital.com/ppp/ppp_world.jpg) there's not much there besides Jungle and Evil Commies, what can we do to pillage that?
Where there are evil commies, there are hot evil commie lesbians...

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Where there are evil commies, there are hot evil commie lesbians...

truer words have ne'er been spoken

once we pillage the hot lezzies... let's go ahead and use a big chainsaw to cut all of asia away from the rest of the world. and just burn it or bomb it or both.

[vniow]

Originally posted by alex_ant
Where there are evil commies, there are hot evil commie lesbians...

And where there are jungles near them, then there are places to film them in pornos!

Brilliant!

[Rower_CPU]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
is this some kind of asian slur???

which reminds me... we haven't really spoken about the future (or lackthereof) for asia.....

Only if that's a good thing.

Dune, the spice must flow, blue on blue eyes
PPP, the piss must flow, yellow on yellow eyes

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by vniow
And where there are jungles near them, then there are places to film them in pornos!

Brilliant!

Asian porn? Genius, pure genius! I can't believe it -- another PPP innovation. We've pioneered the genre of Asian porn.

[WinterMute]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
Asian porn? Genius, pure genius! I can't believe it -- another PPP innovation. We've pioneered the genre of Asian porn.

Cool, Asian lesbian jungle porn:D

How about an asian lesbian jungle porn (ALJP) remake of Tarzan or maybe Jungle Book?

I think we need to establish a worldwide network of porn studios to exploit... er... liberate the female population of whichever poor backward society we're currently pillaging... bu**er.. liberating.

Worldwide Jungle Porn Enterprises?

[vniow]

Just noticed something...

Now that the official PPP site has music (or maybe I didn't turn my speakers loud enough) and there are lyrics off to the side, shouldn't they both go along together?

I've tried singing along to them, but everything seems out of sync..

Is it just me or does my bladder need to be readjusted?

[trebblekicked]

and so the first ppp pillaging excrusion comes to a close. while i'm happy to say that all objectives have been met, it still saddens me to think that i'll never see my crew again:( WinterMute was a welcome addition to the team, and he made the last pillage more than just a pillage. It was kind of an artistic expression. Think of pissed on pants as our canvas and pain and suffering our medium. Anyway, the MoS send their love, and they wanted to say thank you for all we've taught them. Already tales of our daring escape from the new orleans HQ disaster are folk lore here, and any time we want to come to Jack Nicholson, we are welcome. I'll post the final map for your viewing pleasure, as well as some photos i snapped when we were here. alright guys. i'll be back at HQ in no time. I piss to you.
-tk

[WinterMute]

A massive vote of thanks to trebblekicked, the image of him pissing out the rear door of the Spectre gunship as we roared off the puddle-strewn runway will stay with me forever:D

This was a magnificent first campaign, it should serve as a model for those who pillage and piss after us. The crew did the PPP proud.

I am proud to be able to say "I pissed my pants there".

Right, I'm heading back to Blighty, what's next?

[vniow]

Let's all give trebblekicked three big cheers for his mission!

And may us all cerimonionally piss on him when he returns.

[jelloshotsrule]

with operation i need a benz ending successfully, i hereby initiate the next phase of our operations.

i think that the smartest thing to do is allow the "real" war (ie, the reported war) finish up in iraq before we finish off that area of the world.

so until then, let us commence operations full scale in the european theatre. i expect an official operation name by tomorrow, followed by full scale attack on sheep and any other possible targets

thank you, to piss their own.

[vniow]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
so until then, let us commence operations full scale in the european theatre.


We're going to have a PPP play now?

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by vniow
We're going to have a PPP play now?

That's for homos, who are outlawed under the PPP. They're always trying to rub your face in their gayness --GEEZ I HATE THAT!! Unless of course they're hot lesbians. The butch ones don't get a pass.

Remember, the PPP does not tolerate inferior peoples. Unless they're convenient or hot lesbians.

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by vniow
We're going to have a PPP play now?

duuuuuude. theatre (the olde spelling for it) is the sweet ass way to refer to the various arenas of battle!!

as for plays and gays.... pseudo summed it up, and i will just add:

eeeeeewwwww*





*-except when they're hot lezzie sluts

[pivo6]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
with operation i need a benz ending successfully, i hereby initiate the next phase of our operations.

i think that the smartest thing to do is allow the "real" war (ie, the reported war) finish up in iraq before we finish off that area of the world.

so until then, let us commence operations full scale in the european theatre. i expect an official operation name by tomorrow, followed by full scale attack on sheep and any other possible targets

thank you, to piss their own.

The name I came up with is Operation Invalidate the metric system.

[pseudobrit]

Originally posted by pivo6
The name I came up with is Operation Invalidate the metric system.

We have to add something about "English are all fruits" and "remember Ireland!"

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by pseudobrit
We have to add something about "English are all fruits" and "remember Ireland!"

shhh. shhh... we gotta keep em on our side for the time being.... give our agents some more time to work em from the inside.... patience... patience... i know that your pants can become too drenched with anticipation, but please try.

[pivo6]

I agree. Let's hit the mainland, then on the the British Isles, right around FA Cup Final time.

[trebblekicked]

Originally posted by pivo6
I agree. Let's hit the mainland, then on the the British Isles, right around FA Cup Final time.

roger roger.
i'm postpoing my nostalgic trip down zimbabwe land. the past few days have been sad, but there is pillaging to do/hockey to play. i was really having some PPD (post-pilage depression), but the news of a new conquest has me simply pissing with anticipation.
in the words of HSR, let's do this like brutus.

well, i piss to you all, and here's the final map from Zimbabwe.

[Rower_CPU]

Nice to see the fruits of our labor realized in such graphic fashion.

The map on the PPP site (http://www.organicallydigital.com/ppp/) has been updated.

[WinterMute]

Originally posted by pivo6
I agree. Let's hit the mainland, then on the the British Isles, right around FA Cup Final time.

Lets just hit the FA cup, there's no-one interesting left in it anyway:D

[amnesiac1984]

My intelligence minister Pierce Brosnan pissed himself while reporting to me the possibilty of being double crossed by our American "Allies", just remember where you got your ultra conservative and intolerant ideas that are the pillars on which the PPP philososphy is based!

[jelloshotsrule]

Originally posted by amnesiac1984
My intelligence minister Pierce Brosnan pissed himself while reporting to me the possibilty of being double crossed by our American "Allies", just remember where you got your ultra conservative and intolerant ideas that are the pillars on which the PPP philososphy is based!

who said anything about double crossing? we're just trying to help you eradicate your inferior country/continent mates my lad...

and of course mr. brosnan proved himself by his pissing, whether he meant to or not. quite an impressive showing....

let him know i'd like to see him piss his pants during the next bond flick

can we get someone down into OZ? do we have any agents there? i want to pillage the koalas and 'roos' and turn them into pets.... also, i'd much like to have a pint or two (of kool aid) with patrick rafter... so we'll need someone to evacuate him before operations begin there.

[vniow]

Originally posted by Rower_CPU
The map on the PPP site (http://www.organicallydigital.com/ppp/) has been updated.

That reminds me...

[jelloshotsrule]

well done vniow. when you make the next update, can you please add koalas and patrick rafter to the land down unda?

thanks

[Rower_CPU]

Updated (http://www.organicallydigital.com/ppp/)

[WinterMute]

Originally posted by jelloshotsrule
who said anything about double crossing? we're just trying to help you eradicate your inferior country/continent mates my lad...

and of course mr. brosnan proved himself by his pissing, whether he meant to or not. quite an impressive showing....

A purge, goddamnit, he's talking about a purge:D :D

Plenty of half-arsed losers need purging on these shores let me tell you...

I was a bit disturbed by the "for the time being" bit in an earlier post, but I feel much better having hacked the PPP central records server for all of the party members home addresses, you know, just to send you birthday cards and the like...;)

Just remember, we Brits have forgotten more dirty Empire-type tricks than the rest of you will ever know, and I have to say I'd much rather that level of er... persuasion should be in the hands of the party with the moral strength and intellectual clout to wield them properly.

Maybe I should take a look at formalising the Department of Persuasion to re-align our more aggressive opponants... just ask trebble how persuasive I can be with a car battery, a bath of ice water and some very strong rubber gloves:p

The world needs a good purge, I'm sure the PPP will not stop at foriegn climes, and that a mighty judgement is coming for the USA in the near future.

Yours in piss.