22 year old guy wanting to have sex with 16 year old girl

[Dewayne2]

Hey. Long time reader, first time poster.

I found this in a fitness forum.

A guy, 22, wants to have sex with a girl who's 16. I'm the dad of a 1 year old daughter. I am worried about her enough as it is, but I cant think of how much I'd worry about this if this was my daughter. I'm angry about this guy doing this, am I right to be angry? What would you do if your daughter was in this situation?

[BoyBach]

I know how these InterWebs work.

You are the 22 year old bloke!

Or are you the 16 year-old girl?

:beady eyes:




( :p )

[freebooter]

I know how these InterWebs work.

You are the 22 year old bloke!

Or are you the 16 year-old girl?

:beady eyes:




( :p )

or...BOTH!

[CanadaRAM]

What are the laws of consent in your jurisdiction?

In some areas, there is a lower limit where it is absolutely forbidden, and then at a certain age, the difference in age between the consenting parties becomes a factor -- such as at 16 years, the partner can be no older that 18 or something like that.

[jimN]

In the UK this would be legal, assuming that he wasn't the girl's teacher or in a position of authority over her (foster carer, social worker etc). However, morally I think that it is a bit questionable. 6 years when considered relative to the girl's age is a huge number and, aside from all the inevitable whining about how mature she may be (ultimately it's more likely that he is immature), I would have definite concerns about his motivations.

Wanting to sleep with a 16 year old is one thing, doing it is quite another. In situations like this the half your age plus 8 rule should be a law.

[calculus]

"Man wants to do something legal"

not much of a story really...

[MarkCollette]

Easy. I'd love my daughter, teach her to respect herself, and see through the douchebag's B.S.

[RedTomato]

In situations like this the half your age plus 8 rule should be a law.

So if I was 94, you would make it illegal for me to sleep with anyone under 60?

I can just see the headlines now :rolleyes:

Older people do have sex y'know. Quite a lot (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6959977.stm) of it too. (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22378553-13762,00.html?from=mostpop)

[QCassidy352]

I'm angry about this guy doing this, am I right to be angry?

I think it's not an easy situation. Western society has this odd idea that one day it's sick and wrong to be attracted to a girl, but that a day later, when she turns a certain age, there's nothing wrong with it. Human hormones and emotions don't work that way, of course. To make matters worse, not every country (or even every US state) have the same age of consent. So a guy who has sex with 16 and 17 year old girls in one US state may be labeled and prosecuted as a "pedophile," while the same guy could do the same thing legally in the next state over and there would be "nothing wrong with it."

Things just get worse when you're dealing with people who are very close in age but one is above the age of consent and the other is not (see the Genarlow Wilson (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=Wilson) story for a great example). Although 22 and 16 is a large difference in some ways, in other ways it isn't. 6 years is a lot at that age, but in a few years nobody would bat an eye. And 6 years may not seem like a huge amount to the people involved. I'm only a few years past 22 myself, and I can tell you that when I was that age I didn't really feel very far removed from high school (these days I'm feeling a lot older... but that's another story).

Society (the media, the entertainment and advertising industries) tell us that 18 year-olds are sexy and desirable (even for viewers two or three times that age!) and that there's nothing wrong with that. Yet we're supposed to feel outraged when a 22 year old desires a 16 year old.

There are times when an age difference like this can and does mean that the older guy is taking advantage of and possibly really victimizing the girl. And there are other times when the "poor innocent girl" knows exactly what she is doing and is mature enough to handle it (and yes, I know women like that, who are, years after the fact, upset by the fact that outsiders interfered with relationships that the young women understood and valued very much).

I myself would never sleep with a girl that much younger than I am because 1) I'd be afraid she was really underage; 2) I'd be afraid she'd regret it later, and I wouldn't want to make someone carry that kind of regret around; 3) I don't think a 16 year old and I could have any sort of meaningful connection, other than the obvious. But, I don't presume to know what's best for every guy, or every girl. There are legal standards, and anyone who knows what's good for him will obey them strictly. But morally, as I said before, it's not an easy situation.

[Chaszmyr]

It's not too terribly difficult to imagine how a 22 year old guy would be sexually attracted to a 16 year old girl, but I have to imagine in most every case any attraction that wasn't simply physical would be either artificial or unhealthy; as such, there should be no sexual relations between the two. The girl likely doesn't realize how young she is, because no matter how mature a 16 year old may seem, they'll seem a lot more mature when they're in their 20s. Similarly, either the 22 year old is more mature than the 16 year old or he should be, in either case 16 year olds aren't who he should be spending this time with.

When I was 19 I was dating a 16 year old, and I received a fair amount of criticism from that. At the time, I saw no problem with it, and if I were to do it again I might make the same choices. However, in retrospect, she seemed quite young, and I think my time spent with her likely hindered my social maturation.

[jsw]

Just out of curiosity, how did you stumble upon a pickup site when looking at a fitness site?

[BoyBach]

This 'V' character with his "game", "sarging", "warm up" and "chat up" line sounds/reads like a complete tosser to me.

[Jaffa Cake]

This 'V' character with his "game", "sarging", "warm up" and "chat up" line sounds/reads like a complete tosser to me.When I read the piece, in my mind's eye I could see Mickey off the Head and Shoulders ad. Strikes me as the sort of thing he'd do. :rolleyes:

Anyway, it's all legal, in this neck of the woods at least. And in his, so it would seem, so I don't really see the problem.

[Lau]

I dunno if it's legal, but I will say that this guy couldn't possibly sound more moronic if he tried. I find it hard to believe anyone would find that enticing.

Edit: ^ Hee! Yes.

[jsw]

This 'V' character with his "game", "sarging", "warm up" and "chat up" line sounds/reads like a complete tosser to me.
It's all pick-up lingo.

There's some dumb pick-up artist reality show on VH1. I watched a few, because I'm unable to change channels at times. I wondered who the hell the main guy was, Googled him, saw some of the BS terms. They're all a bunch of losers, if you ask me.

[BoyBach]

When I read the piece, in my mind's eye I could see Mickey off the Head and Shoulders ad. Strikes me as the sort of thing he'd do. :rolleyes:


Maybe so, but I cant imagine Mickey (why am I thinking about 'The League of Gentleman' right now? :D ) using the following 'classic':

V: "Yeah. It is. I find it easier than just asking a girl if she wants to ****."


I think that 'V' is writing with a pen in one hand and his todger in the other!?

[Dagless]

Nowt wrong with that, but then again it might be different in the US. 16's the age of consent here (whoa, House of Fun just popped on my iPod).

One of my cousins was going out with a girl when she was 17 and he was 23. 3 years on and they're expecting their first :) so they can last them kind of relationships. But that 'V' guy just sounds like an utter knob. V might stand for his frustration of being a virgin?

[Abstract]

It's legal in Toronto. However, I think it's morally wrong, regardless of the law. It's not a big difference, though, so it doesn't bother me as much. A 22 year old trying to pick up a 14 or 15 year old would disgust me much more.

[jones14]

Dewayne2 seems to be a spammer/bot guys, and an odd one at that

Proof? (http://newcelica.org/forums/showthread.php?t=256319)

They seem to have alot different views than you all do though

[eRondeau]

I am a police dispatcher in Ontario, and you wouldn't believe how often worried parents call for advice on this problem. Here this would be perfectly legal; the age of consent in Ontario is 14 (although there's talk of raising it to 16). The exception being adults who are in a position of authority over the children (teachers, priests, scout leaders...) In Ontario kids who are 16 can basically do whatever they want. They can decide to move out of their parent's house and live on their own or move-in with their boy/girlfriends and there's nothing anyone can legally do to stop them.

http://www.parl.gc.ca/information/library/PRBpubs/prb993-e.htm

Having said all that -- I would strongly advise Mr. 22-year-old to start hanging around the college pubs instead of the high-school dances.

[Kore]

I'm 17 (legal age for sex in most Australian states is 16) and I would never date anyone more than three years older than me, at least not till I'm 20 or so.

[Iscariot]

If there's a problem that can't be solved by smothering, I haven't found it.

[Kamera RAWr]

Hmmm... after reading that thread about the Japanese lawyer having sex with a pig, this doesn't sound nearly so bad :p :D

[faust]

It's hard to say if what he's doing is right or wrong, since it's a matter of opinion and culture. You would be on the registered sex offender's list in the USA if you were convicted of having sex with a minor. Japan, well, most Japanese men I know are rather fond of young girls, so you can assume it's a tad different. I'm actually not too certain what the laws for such acts are in Japan. Nevertheless, it all depends on where you are.

[Elrond39]

In situations like this the half your age plus 8 rule should be a law.

Is that what it is? I go by the half your age +7 rule... ?

Then again, not that big of a difference. Also: 22 and 16 is a HUGE gap. Emotional maturity and all that. Then again, if the guy is seriously considering it, he's not quite living up to his supposed "maturity", is he?

If it was emotional rather than a quick-sex type thing (which it sounds like, judging by his rather disturbing blog entry), then he could date her without sleeping with her and wait until she had grown up emotionally.

My little bit of input, for what it's worth.

[zap2]

Errr....I'd pass (if I were him)


He clearly doesn't want a relationship...but some action...from a 16 year old.



But legally, its ok where he is, so nothing anyone can do.

[Abstract]

Is that what it is? I go by the half your age +7 rule... ?


Yep, it's half your age + 7.....but only if you are over 18, are interested in someone much younger, and need a guideline.