April Fools: April 1, 2004

[MacRumors]

Happy April Fools (http://www.infoplease.com/ce6/society/A0804428.html)...

Rumors and rumor sites are particularly susceptible to today's holiday...

so be wary of everything you read today... :)

[UKMacBod]

Well, according to MacWorld UK, Apple's logo has been discovered on Mars!!!

Have a look:

http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=8325


(... I actually thought this was real for a minute when I saw it... :D )

[javabear90]

I guess this means quad G6 powerbooks today compete with a 1 terabyte hardrive!! :D

[hvfsl]

So far I have heard:

-ATI CEO stepping down
http://www.tomshardware.com/hardnews/20040331.html
-Mac virus attacks Windows PCs
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/top_news_item.cfm?NewsID=8326
-File-sharing legal in Canada
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=8332
-Happy birthday, Apple (28)
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=8336
-First benches of the NV40
http://www.rojakpot.com/default.aspx?location=3&var1=89&var2=1

Now some of these could be true, but I have no idea if any are. :confused:

[garybooberry]

www.ipodlounge.com - New iPod AV released.

They got me.

Bastiches.

[jeffy.dee-lux]

I'm let down, i was really hoping arn was gonna take a cheap shot at us.

[ThomasJefferson]

Well, there goes Arn, spoiling the fun.

[Rustus Maximus]

Well, according to MacWorld UK, Apple's logo has been discovered on Mars!!!

Have a look:

http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=8325


(... I actually thought this was real for a minute when I saw it... :D )

Well, that would explain the lack of water on Mars...apparently they couldn't figure out the liquid cooling system there either...

drum rimshot :D

Rustus

"I have no professional comedic training."

[lilscoy]

Is that one about file-sharing legal in Canada true? I mean there is article on Zdnet about it as well. And their article was published at 11:30 last night...a mere 30 minutes before the day of Fools...or is that part of the joke... ;)

Anyway, if it is true, that could be a pretty big story...wonder what effect it will have in the US...

[invaLPsion]

Apple is dead

After more than a decade of messages around the world that "Apple is going to die soon", Apple today formally accepted the message and dissolved the company. Several companies have issued statements about buying assets. According to an Apple spokeswoman, Disney buys the QuickTime part of Apple, Sony buys iTunes/iPod and Microsoft buys Mac OS X. As Bill Gates puts it: "We're interested in Mac OS X' code base, because we want to fight Windows' security issues at the very root, which is still DOS, although we managed to hide this from many third parties with Windows NT and higher."

[clonenode]

Well, you have to wonder if this (http://www.tellonapple.org/) is serious... Tell On Apple.org?????

[CmdrLaForge]

Mac virus attacks Windows PCs

By Macworld staff


Computer security firm Compurity has issued a warning about a new virus called Maccy.C that has been described as a "Windows cleaner".

It said Maccy.C tries to disable Windows software on infected computers, replacing it with a version of Mac OS X.

Compurity director Joss Bevet said: "Maccy.C is spreading through infected email messages and targeting machines running the Microsoft Windows operating system. Capabilities include the ability to uninstall the Windows operating system and replace it with a version of Mac OS X, the Apple operating system."

Irregular virus

Antivirus software companies are warning PC users not to ignore the virus, which is carried as an attachment on an official-looking email, usually bearing a return address indicating it was sent by an administrator, computer support staff member, or manager. The email carries a message warning of an irregularity.

If the attachment is opened it installs a virus that uninstalls Windows, and opens a port on the user's computer. That port allows hackers to access the users PC and install a variant of the Mac OS X operating system based on Darwin. It is believed to resemble OS X 10.1.

The Antivirus Emergency Response Team rated Maccy.C a "high" threat – to Microsoft.

[TMA]

Where abouts in the world is April Fools day a holiday? Because it certainly isn't here for schools or work?

[centauratlas]

Happy April Fools (http://www.infoplease.com/ce6/society/A0804428.html)...


So, is Google's gmail an April Fool or not?

New York Times:http://www.nytimes.com/2004/03/31/technology/31CND-GOOGLE.html

Google: http://www.gmail.com/
Google: http://www.google.com/press/pressrel/gmail.html

cnet: http://news.com.com/2100-1032_3-5182805.html

I'd like to apply for this job at Google:
http://www.google.com/jobs/lunar_job.html

[Mr.Hey]

Rumors and rumor sites are particularly susceptible to today's holiday...

hehe :p maybe you should post some of them just for laughs.

[segundo]

So, is Google's gmail an April Fool or not?

Gmail is real.

[hvfsl]

Mac virus attacks Windows PCs

By Macworld staff


Computer security firm Compurity has issued a warning about a new virus called Maccy.C that has been described as a "Windows cleaner".

It said Maccy.C tries to disable Windows software on infected computers, replacing it with a version of Mac OS X.

Compurity director Joss Bevet said: "Maccy.C is spreading through infected email messages and targeting machines running the Microsoft Windows operating system. Capabilities include the ability to uninstall the Windows operating system and replace it with a version of Mac OS X, the Apple operating system."

Irregular virus

Antivirus software companies are warning PC users not to ignore the virus, which is carried as an attachment on an official-looking email, usually bearing a return address indicating it was sent by an administrator, computer support staff member, or manager. The email carries a message warning of an irregularity.

If the attachment is opened it installs a virus that uninstalls Windows, and opens a port on the user's computer. That port allows hackers to access the users PC and install a variant of the Mac OS X operating system based on Darwin. It is believed to resemble OS X 10.1.

The Antivirus Emergency Response Team rated Maccy.C a "high" threat – to Microsoft.

I would love to get this virus on my PC. In fact I would pay people to infect me. :D

[Uragon]

check macfora.com too

[27407]

http://media.guardian.co.uk/site/story/0,14173,1183684,00.html
and
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/aprilfool2.html

[srobert]

So far I have heard:
-File-sharing legal in Canada
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=8332


This one is 100% real (no april fool)

[scem0]

so be wary of everything you read today... :)

You mean there aren't G8 powerbooks coming out today?

:( ;)

scem0

[jsw]

Well, you have to wonder if this (http://www.tellonapple.org/) is serious... Tell On Apple.org?????

Yeah, I think that one's legit. Lots of Mac resellers are mad at Apple for perceived (or real) unfair practices. It's been in the news before today.

[DaveGee]

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Apple today announced its first-ever triple-CPU system, the PowerMac G5 Cubed!

Mac OS X Hints gets the scoop: http://www.macosxhints.com/

:p :p :p

Dave

[mattroberts]

file sharing in canada is legal

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=66172

but Steve Jobs is quitting i hear ;)

m

[Spagolli94]

Just went to apple.com. Same old G5 home page they had like a year ago. And the only news on the rumor sites is about April Foos jokes.

Great. How much slower can things get? Talk about a dry spell...

[whooleytoo]

I'm let down, i was really hoping arn was gonna take a cheap shot at us.

He's a day early, April Fool's day is tomorrow..

[wPod]

Where abouts in the world is April Fools day a holiday? Because it certainly isn't here for schools or work?

Here in the states of course. . . I even got a 4 day weekend out of the deal they said since we have april 1 off, why not friday also?!

[Mr_Ed]

Here in the states of course. . . I even got a 4 day weekend out of the deal they said since we have april 1 off, why not friday also?!

Yeah, I got the same deal. Pretty sweet. I was getting kind of burned out at work and the extra couple of days is a welcome break indeed. God bless the U.S. of A.!!

[s.eth]

-Happy birthday, Apple (28)
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=8336


This one is true. Apple was founded on April Fools Day. Which makes sense considering the pranster that Woz is known to be.

[SiliconAddict]

Mac virus attacks Windows PCs

By Macworld staff


Computer security firm Compurity has issued a warning about a new virus called Maccy.C that has been described as a "Windows cleaner".

It said Maccy.C tries to disable Windows software on infected computers, replacing it with a version of Mac OS X.



Hell I'd install that virus on my system any day. I'd install that on our corp network as well. I'd put it on a CD and take it around to my friend's houses and install it. I'd set up a web page dedicated to installing it with a button click HERE to install Maccy.C
Is it really a virus if its doing something good to your computer? :cool: :p

[macridah]

here one that only happen if hell froze ... again

Apple and IBM announce enterprise servers featuring Mac OS X Server

http://www.macdailynews.com/comments.php?id=P2426_0_1_0

[tangenjm@mcmast]

I guess the new Powerbook will be delayed a bit:

http://news.com.com%2f2100-1012_3-5181434.html&tag=nefd_lede&previously_viewed=no&platform=unknown_or_disabled@apple-x.net/simx/2100-1027_3-5181562.html

[Mac-Xpert]

Ahh now this is what we've been waiting for:
:rolleyes:
back to OS-8.5 (http://www.spymac.com/news/index.php?contentid=264)

[alms]

You should wait at least until noon or 1:00 EST before reminding people that it's April Fools Day!

[lilscoy]

Hey, I know this isn't a computer related April Fools...it's about the Simpsons...but please someone tell me it's not true...I thought they were all good friends...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A41097-2004Apr1.html?referrer=emailarticle

[SiliconAddict]

www.ipodlounge.com - New iPod AV released.

They got me.

Bastiches.


Sick ba***rds! Tease all you want about any other topic but stay away from the iPod. I'm looking at getting my first sometime this summer. This is like twisting the knife into the gut.

[zebra451]

The guys at thinkgeek are always good for a laugh!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/ :D

[jsw]

Hey, I know this isn't a computer related April Fools...it's about the Simpsons...but please someone tell me it's not true...I thought they were all good friends...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A41097-2004Apr1.html?referrer=emailarticle

I don't quite feel like registering to read the article - what's the gist of it? All I heard is that they're holding out for more money (http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/01/television.simpsons.reut/index.html), which is pretty much a standard Hollywood thing. I hadn't heard anything else.

[Krrill]

Now this is a good April Fools, I'ma download like a terabyte worth a stuff and then I'ma rub it in all my American friends faces, LOL

Good to be Canadian OHhhhhh yeah *Hears the Oh Yeah song playing by Yello in the background)

Sorry, someone had to make a big deal of it :D

[Mac-Xpert]

I today got this interesting article from a respectable :rolleyes: source:

Steve Jobs quits Apple and joins Microsoft

In a surprising move Apple CEO Steve Jobs today announced that he will leave Apple and become the new CEO of Microsoft, replacing current CEO Bill gates.

Jobs: ”After years of trying to improve Apple and creating new and innovative products I’ve become a bit tired with the Macintosh community. Everyday I get dozens of e-mails and I see dozens of website’s complaining about Apple not updating it’s computer lines quickly enough. Although I promised 3 Ghz G5 Mac’s within a year last year at the “World Wide Developer Convergence” still those crazy Mac fans seem to think I can come up with them in January just because it was the Macintosh’s 20’st birthday. I just couldn’t take anymore of this crap.”

But why did you go to Microsoft?
Jobs: “At Apple I had to be constantly innovative and come up with the best possible hardware and the greatest operating system. You know, making efforts like that day in and day out really drains your mental capabilities. I’m not getting any younger and I really felt like I needed to get out of this all and get a relaxed job. Microsoft offered me exactly that. Gates: Steve recently called me and explained his situation at Apple, He said: “Your running Microsoft now for such a long time don’t you think you should retire” and I thought he that’s a great idea. You see I always looked for new ideas to Apple. When I was still fooling around with MS-DOS, Apple came up with this GUI thing. First I thought that no one was going to take it seriously, but it really took of. That’s when I decided to come up with Windows. After that I’ve been doing pretty much the same thing whenever I needed to come up with something new. So when Steve called, I though that’s great, I will make him CEO of Microsoft and I don’t have to do anything anymore and still make truckloads of money.” Jobs: “And being the CEO for Microsoft is much more relaxing that being the CEO of Apple. Now I don’t have to worry about market-share or releasing innovative new products. People simply don’t expect that from Microsoft. So whatever piece of software I bring out, everybody will buy it and think it’s great. They will just say: It’s from Microsoft so it’s from the market leader and everybody is going to use it so it must be good! I’m really looking forward to this new job. I’m now going to concentrate on “Longhorn” and put a few pieces of Mac-OS-X in it and release it somewhere around 2007 or something. Bill suggested that we should call it Windows XP 2007. I think that’s a great original name for it. And now I will at least make more that that pitiful $1,- that Apple paid me a year!”--

Hell, now we can really forget to see that 3.0 Ghz G5 anytime soon :eek::p

Mac-Xpert

[Java]

In a bold move, buymusic.com has signed a multi-million dollar contract to have the Beatles in their new ads. In addition, the beatles are soon going to be releasing all of their music on buymusic.com for $89 cents.

(still searching for the link)

[Yamson]

Yeah, I think that one's legit. Lots of Mac resellers are mad at Apple for perceived (or real) unfair practices. It's been in the news before today.

Running "whois tellonapple.org" shows that the webiste hasn't been around very long...

Domain ID: D104167345-LROR
Domain Name:TELLONAPPLE.ORG
Created On:29-Mar-2004 17:55:17 UTC
Last Updated On:29-Mar-2004 17:55:37 UTC
Expiration Date:29-Mar-2006 17:55:17 UTC
Sponsoring Registrar:R91-LROR

I think it's a hoax personally...

[Edit] Besides, look at the website. Why on earth would they have a guestbook when Apple fans are the most passionate computer users on earth? It only incites negative comments against the website iteslf instead of Apple, which would seem rather contrary to its goal.

[Raid]

So far I have heard:

-ATI CEO stepping down
http://www.tomshardware.com/hardnews/20040331.html
-Mac virus attacks Windows PCs
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/top_news_item.cfm?NewsID=8326
-File-sharing legal in Canada
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=8332
-Happy birthday, Apple (28)
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=8336
-First benches of the NV40
http://www.rojakpot.com/default.aspx?location=3&var1=89&var2=1

Now some of these could be true, but I have no idea if any are. :confused:
The ATI CEO and the file sharing story are true. The CEO of ATI is under investigation for insider trading, and the Canadian recording industry is vowing to appeal the judges decision on file sharing.

[jsw]

Running "whois tellonapple.org" shows that the webiste hasn't been around very long...

I think it's a hoax personally...


I know it's new, and I'm not sure of it myself, but the resellers' issues with Apple have been in the press over the past week or two, so it might just be a recently created legitimate site. Rotten name, if it is.

[Koodauw]

Ahh now this is what we've been waiting for:
:rolleyes:
back to OS-8.5 (http://www.spymac.com/news/index.php?contentid=264)

LOL. Reminds me of last years prank...

http://www.yaromat.com/macos8

Best when done on a Windows computer.... or an entire lab....

[superfunkomatic]

Is that one about file-sharing legal in Canada true? I mean there is article on Zdnet about it as well. And their article was published at 11:30 last night...a mere 30 minutes before the day of Fools...or is that part of the joke... ;)

Anyway, if it is true, that could be a pretty big story...wonder what effect it will have in the US...

yep, this one really, i mean really is true. this has been ongoing here for some time. maybe it will set an example elsewhere. the judge that ruled on it used an example (paraphrased) - it's like walking into a library and photocopying books for your use.

[elgruga]

Anyone been to Macintouch today?

www.macintouch.com

[washingtony]

Either they got hacked or Ric Ford grew a sense of humor -

Macintouch morphs into Matchintouch (for Geeks!) (http://www.macintouch.com/)

wt

[Mr_Ed]

Anyone been to Macintouch today?

www.macintouch.com

Nice! :D

[Tulse]

I just read CARS (http://www.crazyapplerumors.com) -- it's like April Fools everyday!

[1macker1]

WOW, MS just named Steve Jobs as CEO!

[halabar]

http://db.tidbits.com/getbits.acgi?tbart=07616

[Some_Big_Spoon]

It's sad that April Fools stories are something we get excited about, since Apple has zero going on..

And if you say iTunes or iPod, I'll sock you one.. :rolleyes:

[bennok]

Happy April Fools (http://www.infoplease.com/ce6/society/A0804428.html)...

Rumors and rumor sites are particularly susceptible to today's holiday...

so be wary of everything you read today... :)

Oh c'mon you holiday spoilers. Is THAT the best you could do? I don't even find it that amusing! Why am I even typing this post! I'm going to be late!

[wdlove]

Something to cause a little panic in your Mac!

http://www.versiontracker.com/dyn/moreinfo/macosx/22916&vid=139524

[cubist]

The Register is full of April Fool's stories. For example, Itanium (you do remember Itanium, don't you?) has taken the lead in the 64-bit processor market. link: http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/36733.html

[macridah]

-Happy birthday, Apple (28)
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=8336


This one is true. Apple was founded on April Fools Day. Which makes sense considering the pranster that Woz is known to be.

yep, just to add more detail ... jobs, woz, and wayne filed partnership papers on april 1, 1976. Wayne (ronald gerald wayne) is a forgotton founding memeber.

[sugarprobe]

So far I have heard:

-ATI CEO stepping down
http://www.tomshardware.com/hardnews/20040331.html
-Mac virus attacks Windows PCs
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/top_news_item.cfm?NewsID=8326
-File-sharing legal in Canada
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=8332
-Happy birthday, Apple (28)
http://www.macworld.co.uk/news/main_news.cfm?NewsID=8336
-First benches of the NV40
http://www.rojakpot.com/default.aspx?location=3&var1=89&var2=1

Now some of these could be true, but I have no idea if any are. :confused:

[numediaman]

Concerning file sharing:
http://www.globeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20040331.wHdownload0331/BNStory/Front/

[JJTiger1]

:eek: :eek: :eek:
G5 laptops not released. OS 10.4.0 not released. 3.0 ghz G5 desktops not released. No price cuts.
... kinda wish that news was an April Fool's joke, don't you?

[jjq]

Apple is still down since noon (http://www.realitydistortionfield.com)...

:confused:

[jbrown]

Apple to unveil tablet Mac today
[MacUser] 0:00

Apple will today unveil a tablet-style notebook, the first Mac with a touch screen since the short-lived eMate.

The tablet's name and exact specification remains a closely guarded secret, but sources have told us that the machine will be loosely based on the existing 15in PowerBook, with built-in AirPort and Bluetooth.

The display will be mounted on a pivot, that will enable it to swivel through 180°, obscuring the trackpad and keyboard. A special version of OS X - utilising existing Inkwell technology - will then allow the entire interface to be controlled by pressing on the screen.

The tablet will come with a new version of AppleWorks, which will include software for drawing, writing and entering data on screen. AppleWorks 7, as it is known, is also expected to include new Web authoring application to complement the online .Mac tools.

Other applications are expected to work without any problems, though they will require a standard keyboard and mouse for data entry until plug-ins are released by the developers. Apple are believed to be working on an iLife update that will enable applications such as GarageBand to be controlled with a finger.


OH WELL...MAYBE NEXT YEAR..... :D :D :D

[Some_Big_Spoon]

Yeah, I submitted this last night to Arn, forgetting completely that it was this stupid non-holiday..

Was hoping that something, anything, was going on at Apple.. but, alas, not a damn thing... junk, complete junk.

Apple to unveil tablet Mac today
[MacUser] 0:00

Apple will today unveil a tablet-style notebook, the first Mac with a touch screen since the short-lived eMate.

The tablet's name and exact specification remains a closely guarded secret, but sources have told us that the machine will be loosely based on the existing 15in PowerBook, with built-in AirPort and Bluetooth.

The display will be mounted on a pivot, that will enable it to swivel through 180°, obscuring the trackpad and keyboard. A special version of OS X - utilising existing Inkwell technology - will then allow the entire interface to be controlled by pressing on the screen.

The tablet will come with a new version of AppleWorks, which will include software for drawing, writing and entering data on screen. AppleWorks 7, as it is known, is also expected to include new Web authoring application to complement the online .Mac tools.

Other applications are expected to work without any problems, though they will require a standard keyboard and mouse for data entry until plug-ins are released by the developers. Apple are believed to be working on an iLife update that will enable applications such as GarageBand to be controlled with a finger.


OH WELL...MAYBE NEXT YEAR..... :D :D :D

[szark]

I just read CARS (http://www.crazyapplerumors.com) -- it's like April Fools everyday!

Did you head on over to As The Apple Turns (http://www.appleturns.com)?

You might find out what happened to the CARS staff... :D


and jbrown -- Demi-God status simply requires a bribe...I mean...a contribution (http://www.macrumors.com/contrib.html). ;)

[mustang_dvs]

Bare Bones' MailSmith (http://www.barebones.com/products/mailsmith/index.shtml) software has a special new mail notification method for today - "Deliver 2kV Electric Shock," with an accompanying sound. It scared the bejesus out of one of my co-workers when he first checked his mail today.

[tutubibi]

http://www.google.com/press/pressrel/gmail.html

[Waragainstsleep]

http://www.apple-x.net/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=861&mode=thread&order=0&thold=0

[Gymnut]

Huh, maybe to all those that are on backorder for the iPod mini's Apple will send them an e-mail confirmation stating their mini has shipped. April Fools!

[=pa=]

A buddy of mine in the music industry sent me this (before noon!)...

----------

Subject: Roger Ames To Apple

With the installation of Lyor Cohen as head of the new Warner Music Group, Roger Ames has become a lame duck. Rumor had it that with a contract guaranteeing he report to no one else in the music division, he was biding his time, waiting for Edgar Bronfman to pay him out, or make him an offer. Now with YEARS left on his contract, Edgar didn't want to just send Ames home with a paycheck, so he decided to TRADE him to Apple Computer. It's a well known fact that Mr. Ames was the record company point man for the iTunes Music Store. It was he who met with Mr. Jobs first, and then convinced the heads of the other four record business families to play along. And in doing so, he performed a coup that allowed the RIAA to sue file-traders with impunity, putting forth that a LEGITIMATE ALTERNATIVE to P2P was extant. Although a brilliant marketer with a charismatic personality, Steve Jobs has been hampered with little music business experience.

To add Mr. Ames to his staff would add a level of expertise that would TRULY allow him to dominate the sphere. One of the hitches in the deal was Mr. Ames' exorbitant salary. This is not how Silicon Valley works. Payment is in stock options, or incentives. Except for CEOs, no one gets paid an eight figure salary. So, a WONDROUS deal was worked out with Warner. Apple will pay half of Mr. Ames' contractual salary. And will then guarantee Warner constant homepage placement at the iTunes Music Store. Yes, for a year now, Apple has said they're beholden to no one. That all companies receive the same compensation, that Apple itself determines what is placed on the homepage.

But, after dealing with the sleazy music business for over a year now, Apple found it better to THROW IN with them rather than try to change the paradigm. Oh, Apple stonewalled, but in a secret deal only revealed now, they hired Walter Yetnikoff as a consultant and he said famously, as he banged his fist on the table in Steve Jobs' Gulfstream, DON'T BE A SCHNORRER STEVE, PLAY THE GAME, PAY THE INDIES! Supposedly this was in an early draft of Walter's memoir, but was excised by the Apple brass, who are NOTORIOUS for being tight-lipped about their future activities.

But why be in business with Walter Yetnikoff to begin with? The Sony connection. Although Sony has provided components for Macintosh computers all the way back to the eighties, now the Japanese company is their number one competitor. In a late night meeting that Walter insisted be held at Scores, he convinced Mr. Jobs that he still had pull with the "Japs" as he called them. That he'd pulled the wool over their eyes one time, getting them to hire Guber and Peters to run Columbia Pictures, and he could do so again, no problem. That although they'd fired him, he still had a great relationship with them, ESPECIALLY now that Tommy Mottola had blown up Sony Music.

So, at the next iTunes announcement. Scheduled for the next thirty days. It will be announced that Sony is going to FORGO their online store. Yes, Walter convinced the Japanese that to establish another format would be death. That they were too late, they'd get no traction, it was Beta vs. VHS. That the only way the business could grow would be if there was a STANDARD! And the only way to avoid having Microsoft steal the entire business was for everyone to throw in together and hold hands. Sony is not interested in a music store per se, rather they're interested in selling hardware.

They WILL put the iTunes Music Store on all the computers they market under the VAIO name, but this is a mere fraction of the overall computer market. HOWEVER, for the first time ever, Apple is going to LICENSE the iPod intellectual property. This IS NOT an HP deal. This is not Apple manufacturing product that will be branded with another company's logo.

No, having realized they lost to Microsoft in the operating system wars, Apple is licensing their core software to Sony and letting them RUN WITH IT! Letting them tweak it, push the envelope, create new, innovative products. Now, analysts might say this is giving away the store. But, in addition to a royalty for every Sony iPod sold, Apple will receive ONE THIRD of net profits on ALL shipments in excess of their own branded product. Thus, if Apple has twenty percent of the market for hand-held MP3 players, and Sony has twenty five percent, Apple will receive one third of the net on the overage, on five percent in this case. There is, however, no truth to the rumors that Sony will now make Macintoshes. This deal is solely about the music sphere, to insure that Apple is not crushed by Microsoft, or slowly pecked to death by competing services. But what of Mr. Ames you say? Well, avid readers of "Rolling Stone" are familiar with Mr. Jobs' interview in the magazine last year within which he said the problem with the major labels is the advances. That he would give lower advances, and split the money more equitably. THIS is why he's hired Mr. Ames.

Yes, Apple Computer is going into the RECORD BUSINESS! Although they've decided to dive into the dark world of crooks, deep down inside, Mr. Jobs knows he's no match for Jimmy Iovine. After all, Jimmy ALWAYS wins, whereas Mr. Jobs' Next was a failure. The key is to ELIMINATE Jimmy. Jimmy is about spending. Jimmy is about what's expedient. Whereas Mr. Jobs wants to CHANGE THE WORLD! That's what the new crop of acts wants to do, change the landscape, have an IMPACT on society. And who better to sell them, convince them to come along with HIM, than Steve Jobs. All he has to do is point to Pixar. Where artists work without the heinous interruptions of entertainment moguls like Michael Eisner. Where every project is nurtured and every project is a HIT!

THIS is what true artists want. People who allow them to work UNFETTERED, knowing that great art triumphs, rather than executives only interested in quarterly numbers who will drop you in an instant. All Apple deals will have under $100,000 advances. All revenues will be split 50/50. And there will be no long term contracts. Yes, Steve is taking a cue from the movie business. The studio system is DONE! If you don't trust me, if you don't like how I do business, you can walk. But where are you going to go TO? Don Van Cleave and his CIMS stores will survive, feeding those who hunger for physical product, but they're just a blip on the radar screen. No, most people will want DIGITAL FILES! Something the major labels consider ANATHEMA! Something that JOBS had to convince them to sell. So, it looks like even though the acts can walk, there'll be nowhere to go. The iTunes Music Store will be the only game in town. Mr. Jobs ASSURES the Justice Department, which is already sniffing around this deal, that he will not penalize anybody who is not on his label, especially those who leave. He will take all comers, all labels and pay them sixty five cents a track.

But will Mario Monti sit for this? It's too early to tell. But what about Mr. Ames? What will his role be. He will be the funnel for talent. Techies NOTORIOUSLY have bad musical taste, most of them inured to eighties new wave music, they need a PROFESSIONAL to find the good stuff. Now there's been a scramble. All the out of work A&R guys have been text messaging Mr. Ames for jobs. But rumor has it he's going to hire a few key Englishmen, but, other than that, he's going with unknowns, paying them bupkes, promising them a piece of the action. And you thought the merger of Sony and BMG was the play. No, today the music business has been TURNED UPSIDE DOWN! In one fell swoop it's been REVOLUTIONIZED! And the plans for the FUTURE!

Those on the Apple label (yes, it will be called Apple, this is why the case with the Beatles is being moved to California, it's felt that after months in the sunshine the representatives of the Fab Four will capitulate to a licensing deal, AND, it's rumored that Mr. Jobs has offered both Yoko and Ringo recording deals as incentives) will be ROYALTY FREE on Internet radio. And all tracks on the Apple label will be sold WITHOUT copy protection. FURTHERMORE, everyone who buys an iPod will get the complete Apple catalog free (no, not the Beatles songs, just the new acts). Supposedly, Mr. Ames has already signed three acts. However, at press time, it was unconfirmed whether one of those was a reunited Bananarama.

[717]

Intel's Itanium rockets to 64-bit shipment lead

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/36733.html

:) 717

[The Ancients]

hehe :p maybe you should post some of them just for laughs.

Today would be a good day for new hardware. The moaning for the next 2 weeks until everyone realised it was real, would be priceless... :p

[Spaceman Spiff]

For those of you thinking that the 'File Sharing in Canada is Legal' thing is an april fool, it's not. This info was released on the 31ST of March, and its worldwide news.

[ssnmx]

is Gmail from Google true???

Anyone?

[ssnmx]

is Gmail from Google true???

Anyone?

[ddbean]

is Gmail from Google true???

Anyone?

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=581&e=3&u=/nm/20040401/tc_nm/tech_google_dc
"SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - It's not like Internet search service Google can't laugh at itself, but when an April Fool's joke got out of hand on Thursday, a real business plan was rumored to be a Web hoax -- and that was no laughing matter."

[ChrisH3677]

Here's one from down under....

Microsoft embrace open source - and release source to MS Paint.

http://www.pcauthority.com.au/index.asp?PageType=ArticleDetail&CatID=1&ID=18979

An absolute laugh and half. my fave was the alleged quote form Steve Ballmer saying he opposed it because it would take away people's incentive to buy Windows! :D

[GFLPraxis]

I read they were releasing a video iPod called PowerPod...
http://www.mobilemag.com/content/100/333/C2687/

[PPC970FX]

http://www.technewsworld.com/perl/story/33212.html

April fool

[wdlove]

I read they were releasing a video iPod called PowerPod...
http://www.mobilemag.com/content/100/333/C2687/

That is actually a very sleek looking product. It would be nice for an Apple PDA. :) :cool: