Girlfriend won't give it up

[Penser]

I need help. my girlfriend won't have sex with me. we've been dating 6 months. any advice on how to get her to give it up? :confused:

[jav6454]

I need help. my girlfriend won't have sex with me. we've been dating 6 months. any advice on how to get her to give it up? :confused:

Maybe she is not ready or wants to leave it to after marriage... seriously, not having sex isn't the end of the world

[Dagless]

You must really love her huh.

[leekohler]

Then you either respect her if you love her and stop pushing the issue, or you find a new girlfriend.

Sounds to me as if you should find a new girlfriend. Trust me, you'll be doing your current girlfriend a favor.

[Penser]

You must really love her huh.

I do. I really do! but i'm so horny all the time, and i can't imagine waiting a lot longer for sex. it's so unbearable, I don't know what to do. what can I say to her?

[bruinsrme]

I agree with Lee, she doesn't deserve you..

[quagmire]

I do. I really do! but i'm so horny all the time, and i can't imagine waiting a lot longer for sex. it's so unbearable, I don't know what to do. what can I say to her?

Your hand is your friend in that case...... ;)

[fireshot91]

I came in here thinking it was about sex, but then thought it wouldn't be but the title was named like that to get more people in here...and then I came in here, and it turns out, it IS about sex. :D


Well, to be fair, you should talk it out with her. If she wants to wait, either respect her privacy like a mature individual, or dump her because all you want is sex....

[dmr727]

I must say, I'm very impressed with the level of sensitivity the OP is giving to this issue.

[jav6454]

I do. I really do! but i'm so horny all the time, and i can't imagine waiting a lot longer for sex. it's so unbearable, I don't know what to do. what can I say to her?

Well, since you are always horny, try using your hand as dehornynizer (if that word even exist).

Seriously, sex isn't everything in a relationship with the girl you love.

[acfusion29]

Seriously, sex isn't everything in a relationship with the girl you love.

+1 exactly.

If you truly love her, then you would respect her decision. (Pretty much repeating what everyone else has said because its true :o)

[Dagless]

I do. I really do! but i'm so horny all the time, and i can't imagine waiting a lot longer for sex. it's so unbearable, I don't know what to do. what can I say to her?

Then you're going to have to wait.

[yg17]

You already have two friends that are willing to have sex whenever you want, they're called lefty and righty.

[CorvusCamenarum]

I do. I really do! but i'm so horny all the time, and i can't imagine waiting a lot longer for sex. it's so unbearable, I don't know what to do. what can I say to her?

How old are you? I'm going to guess at 15 or so.

In the meantime, get a stack of magazines and retire to the bathroom. Just tell your parents you're brushing your hair or checking for ticks or something.

[yg17]

In the meantime, get a stack of magazines and retire to the bathroom. Just tell your parents you're brushing your hair or checking for ticks or something.

Don't forget The Lube™

[Eraserhead]

If you do have sex with her make sure you do it safely. The only persuasion you could give is that it's acceptable to want sex as a girl (I dunno if this is an issue where you live.). But if she wants to wait that's her right too.

[morgothaod]

I can recommend you some very good porn sites if you want.

[electroshock]

Just tell your parents you're brushing your hair or checking for ticks or something.

Nah... tell 'em you're putting on some hair mousse. :D (Re: Ben Stiller's extremely funny scene from the movie There's Something About Mary.)

[Azmordean]

Well... have you discussed this with her? Not as in, "let's do it" followed by "no." But really discussed it? Like, her views on sex, and so forth?

You may then find out why she won't do it, and therefore find it easier to wait. Or maybe you'll find out she's waiting for marriage or something like that, in which case you'll have to decide if this is the relationship for you or not.

Unlike some others here, I'm not going to blast you. You and your girlfriend may not have compatible sexual views - if you don't, there's nothing wrong with that, it just means you aren't right for each other.

I can admit I probably would not date a woman who was set on waiting for marriage, for example. There's no shame in admitting that. What's wrong is to try to *change* someone's views by trying to "talk them into sex." You need to respect your gf's views, whatever they are. Either you are okay with them, or you respect her views enough to move on.

[Fiveos22]

I came in here thinking it was about sex, but then thought it wouldn't be but the title was named like that to get more people in here...and then I came in here, and it turns out, it IS about sex. :D


That's exactly what I was thinking.

My advice: DON'T ASK INTERNET FOLKS FOR ADVICE ON SUCH A TOPIC. I mean, to be perfectly fair, the denizens of this forum are going to give more constructive advice than many other internet forums... but the fact remains that you're going to get responses that are all over the board (both yay and nay). The only way they're going to influence your decision is if you have already made a decision and are looking for validation from "peers". However, as this is an anonymous board, you have no idea where these opinions are coming from and for all practical purposes they should be taken with a grain of salt.

That said: If you are so horny, go find a girl who wants to put out (at a bar or some other sleazy way) to satisfy your cravings. Just be sure to be safe (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=8084046#post8084046).

[NC MacGuy]

Get that fleshlight thingy. I hear it's awesome.:p

[James L]

I came in here....

Sorry, you lost me right there.

:D:D:D

[Melrose]

Seriously, sex isn't everything in a relationship with the girl you love.

+2. Too much emphasis is put on sex these days. It's important, yeah, but not an end-all.

[sushi]

Maybe she is not ready or wants to leave it to after marriage... seriously, not having sex isn't the end of the world
Good advice.

A relationship built on sex is just that. Generally they don't last long.

I need help. my girlfriend won't have sex with me. we've been dating 6 months. any advice on how to get her to give it up? :confused:
Yes you need help. And help is just an arm's distance away and provides two safe choices. :)

Whatever you do, don't pressure the girlfriend to have sex. That would be a mistake for both of you.

[jessica.]

Man all this talk ... no action ... sad day.

*goes to bedroom*

[173080]

Flunitrazepam. ;)

[jav6454]

Man all this talk ... no action ... sad day.

*goes to bedroom*

I can help with your boredom there....:p:D

[jessica.]

I'm never bored. Go away son.

[jav6454]

I'm never bored. Go away son.

It was joking....

[steve knight]

you need to cheat on her with Laverne and her 4 friends. cantaloupes can be your friend.

[InvalidUserID]

Wow...just wow.

What can you say to her to make her "give it up" since you're so horny. She's a person who has the ultimate say in when she wants to commit to having a physical relationship and pressuring her for the sole reason of you wanting to get your rocks off? Lame.

Then again, if you're on an ONLINE COMPUTER FORUM asking how to make your girlfriend have sex with you...well, I should have seen that coming when I clicked.

Here's to hoping you don't get the 2-minute enjoyment you so desperately seek.

[jecapaga]

Wow...just wow.

What can you say to her to make her "give it up" since you're so horny. She's a person who has the ultimate say in when she wants to commit to having a physical relationship and pressuring her for the sole reason of you wanting to get your rocks off? Lame.

Then again, if you're on an ONLINE COMPUTER FORUM asking how to make your girlfriend have sex with you...well, I should have seen that coming when I clicked.

Here's to hoping you don't get the 2-minute enjoyment you so desperately seek.

That was a very generous outlook based on the evidence. I give it 18 seconds.

[TwinCities Dan]

Feed her some Jag! ;) :D :cool:

[Zombie Acorn]

You should have dumped her on week 2, you just wasted months of getting laid time.

[thegoldenmackid]

You should have dumped her on week 2, you just wasted months of getting laid time.

I really wasn't expecting that comment. Although the advice might be fitting.

[jecapaga]

How old are you OP? What are her objections, concerns or ideas about waiting. If I missed your age and you're 47, I say move on. If you're 14 and I was her father I would be tracking you down.

[yojitani]

Interesting way to make yourself known to the community here :rolleyes:.

[IBradMac]

best thread title ever. of all time.

[Rodimus Prime]

I do. I really do! but i'm so horny all the time, and i can't imagine waiting a lot longer for sex. it's so unbearable, I don't know what to do. what can I say to her?

hmm as with many other people on these boards will agree with me. Sex is not as great as you are imagining it will be. It is not this MAGICAL thing.

One of my regrets I live with was having sex with my GF before we were ready and it left a huge mess.

If she is not ready then it is no go. Stop pushing the issue because guess what if you do. YOu do not deserve her and she will dump you.

you force her to have sex she will regret it and hate you for it.

[dmr727]

One of my regrets I live with was having sex with my GF before we were ready and it left a huge mess.


:: pause ::

Nevermind.

[Rodimus Prime]

:: pause ::

Nevermind.

I just read what I posted.......... never post while tired.

By mess I mean it put our relationship in a bad spot and came pretty close to falling apart.

[jecapaga]

I just read what I posted.......... never post while tired.

By mess I mean it put our relationship in a bad spot and came pretty close to falling apart.

Not sure that's fixable.

[lionheartednyhc]

Why the heck are you posting on here? Go ask her!

[iBlue]

Well... have you discussed this with her? Not as in, "let's do it" followed by "no." But really discussed it? Like, her views on sex, and so forth?

You may then find out why she won't do it, and therefore find it easier to wait. Or maybe you'll find out she's waiting for marriage or something like that, in which case you'll have to decide if this is the relationship for you or not.

Unlike some others here, I'm not going to blast you. You and your girlfriend may not have compatible sexual views - if you don't, there's nothing wrong with that, it just means you aren't right for each other.

I can admit I probably would not date a woman who was set on waiting for marriage, for example. There's no shame in admitting that. What's wrong is to try to *change* someone's views by trying to "talk them into sex." You need to respect your gf's views, whatever they are. Either you are okay with them, or you respect her views enough to move on.

This is a great post, couldn't agree more.

Flunitrazepam. ;)

This is not.

(I know, "just a joke", blah blah, really not a very funny implication there)

______________

Peniser, I hope you and your girlfriend ultimately get what you both want without distress for the other.

[ceezy3000]

How old are you? Depending on age I can understand your position and her position on this.

[Chaszmyr]

OP, you've made only three posts... One about your last name, and two about trying to get your girlfriend to "give it up." You do realize this is a computer forum... right?

In addition to that, I think you sound pretty pathetic. It's inappropriate to be dealing with the issue in such an indelicate manner, it's really something that is just between you and your girlfriend, waiting for sex really isn't that hard, and while I understand that you would like to have sex if you care that much about having sex and she doesn't want to do it yet then you're probably not with the right girl for you.

I think the above paragraph ought to apply regardless of most individual views about that matter... but as a matter of opinion, I also think it is all the more true if you're under 18 which I am guessing you are.

[StephenCampbell]

I know how you feel, i've been there. My advice is to talk to her about it and find out why she's not ready, just so that you understand her better. If she won't be "giving it up" for a while, and you really need it that much, then break up with her and find someone who will do it with you. You'll regret doing that though.

[sdsvtdriver]

hold your breath until she gives in.

[spillproof]

I need help. my girlfriend won't have sex with me. we've been dating 6 months. any advice on how to get her to give it up? :confused:

Yes, my advice is to give her up so she can find a man that respects her wishes about not having sex.

You don't know, she could have been raped or sexually abused as a child, she could have issues trusting men. Or she just wants to make sure that she is giving herself fully to "the one" (religiously or not).

There is more than just sexual pleasure that goes into sex (with the "one you love" or not). If you are truly "in love" with this girl, like you say you are, then you should respect and understand her wishes. Sex with the "one you love" is different than some hook up on a Friday night.

[leekohler]

I know how you feel, i've been there. My advice is to talk to her about it and find out why she's not ready, just so that you understand her better. If she won't be "giving it up" for a while, and you really need it that much, then break up with her and find someone who will do it with you.

Exactly.

You'll regret doing that though.

That depends on the situation.

[iPhone 62S]

Sorry, you lost me right there.

:D:D:D

Last night, I was on a forum, as I recall it was a Apple forum... :p (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4)

OP - just wait until she's ready, maybe try having a conversation with her about the reasons she dosen't want to do it?

[eawmp1]

Just don't be this guy:

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?p=8543957#post8543957

[davidwarren]

just get a girlfriend on the side that puts out.

[CylonGlitch]

Ask her about her sister, or her best friend.... or both. :D

[anim8or]

Get that fleshlight thingy. I hear it's awesome.:p

This post made me laugh out loud.... hee hee.... it really makes you look as if you have... eh.... one of those... eh... things.....!

:D

My advice is that you need to back off.....

If are constantly hounding her then she will not give in, simply as a matter of principal, if she does she will only regret it and that will ultimately spell doom for your relationship.

Neither of you will enjoy it if its a forced event!

BTW I waited around six months before my girlfriend and i felt it was the right time.... we have now been together 9 years, got married last month and have a very healthy sexual relationship.

Ps I know people who have waited longer LOL!

[mscriv]

Your not in love, your in lust. Love puts your partner's needs first, lust puts your own needs first.

Most likely your relationship is doomed. The sexual drive is one of the strongest drives in the human male and judging by your post(s) you are a man on a mission. So, if you win and she "gives in" then you will not be happy with the resulting emotional fall out that is sure to occur. On the other hand if she does not "give in" then you will probably give up on her because I'm not getting a very patient vibe from you.

Sex is fun, but it's not a toy and it should not be the basis of a relationship. It also should not be used as a marker of commitment as in the old "if you loved me you would...". Respect your girlfriend, respect yourself, and respect sex for what it truly is and it's place in a relationship.

P.S. - there are a variety of ways to satisfy your "raging hormones", but that's another thread entirely. :)

[bbotte]

They still make her kind this day in age?

[Fizzoid]

They still make her kind this day in age?Well, we don't know how old she is, so...

[Unspoken Demise]

I thought we were all about to be rick-rolled.

"Never gonna give you up..."

[skye12]

Just get a new girlfriend. Jeez-kids.

[iPhone 62S]

Just get a new girlfriend. Jeez-kids.

It's not that easy if you really like someone though, and it'd be really unfair to her too.

[ucfgrad93]

and it'd be really unfair to her too.

It is better than constantly hounding her for some action.

OP, you need to respect her decision or move on to a new girlfriend.

[Penser]

How old are you OP? What are her objections, concerns or ideas about waiting. If I missed your age and you're 47, I say move on. If you're 14 and I was her father I would be tracking you down.

I'm 20. so's she. her "objections" are that she "just doesn't want to do it yet." it's not like she wants to wait for marriage. she's just taking her sweet time, which is fine if you're a girl... but she knows how much it's killing me and she won't just give in!!

[aloofman]

I'm 20. so's she. her "objections" are that she "just doesn't want to do it yet." it's not like she wants to wait for marriage. she's just taking her sweet time, which is fine if you're a girl... but she knows how much it's killing me and she won't just give in!!

If she has no moral or religious reasons for not doing it, and that really is her only description of her feelings on the matter.....then let her go and find a new girl. Seriously, if that's her reason, then she's just lording it over you and seeing how long you're willing to play her game. Her feelings may be genuine, but she must know that you're wanting to and her denying you puts her in control.

And if you do dump her, just tell her you aren't sexually compatible and that you need someone who is, which is completely true. And don't make it an ultimatum, where you'll take her back if she puts out. That would cheapen both of you.

[Dagless]

I'm 20. so's she. her "objections" are that she "just doesn't want to do it yet." it's not like she wants to wait for marriage. she's just taking her sweet time, which is fine if you're a girl... but she knows how much it's killing me and she won't just give in!!

Perfectly valid reason. Some people just want to wait, is it that hard to grasp? :rolleyes: ;)

Seriously, if that's her reason, then she's just lording it over you and seeing how long you're willing to play her game. Her feelings may be genuine, but she must know that you're wanting to and her denying you puts her in control.
So just because he thinks she should be having sex, then she's lording it over him? It sounds like she just doesn't want sex now. What's so hard to understand about that? Some people wait.

You have 3 options
1) put up with it, learn to love her without sex.
2) nag.
3) let her find someone who is more compatible.

[NC MacGuy]

That was a very generous outlook based on the evidence. I give it 18 seconds.

I can name that tune in....... 7 seconds!:p

[Wotan31]

How old are you OP? Have you tried alcohol? That usually turns normal girls into total sluts in no time. :D

But seriously, you need to find a new GF. She doesn't deserve you if you're asking how to get laid on a Mac Rumors internet forum. Think about it.

[CylonGlitch]

I'm 20. so's she. her "objections" are that she "just doesn't want to do it yet." it's not like she wants to wait for marriage. she's just taking her sweet time, which is fine if you're a girl... but she knows how much it's killing me and she won't just give in!!

She didn't finish the sentence.

"She just doesn't want to do it yet, WITH YOU!"

If you were someone she really thought highly of; wanted to spend her life with; or just thought were super hot, she'd be riding you like a pony.

Time to move on; she is sending you a clear signal. What is going to happen is that she'll keep stringing you along until she either gets tired of playing with you and leaves, or, more likely, finds someone who she IS hot for, gives him a free pass for "love" and doesn't mention a thing to you until you find out.

You are starting to sound like a doormat; stand up for yourself, dust yourself off and get out there and get back in the game.

[whooleytoo]

You have every right to want to have sex, there's nothing wrong with that.
She has every right not to want to have sex, there's nothing wrong with that.

If things don't change, that's not fair on you. If you "get her to give it up", it's not fair on her.

Sit down, and talk to her, tell her how you feel about it; but don't force her to do anything. You might just have to face that you both might be better off with other people.

[StephenCampbell]

The OP and his girlfriend are both 20, as he stated in his last post.

I'm getting the feeling that she "just doesn't want to do it yet" because of how much you've been pressuring her about it. She probably doesn't want to do it as long as it'll feel like something she has to do if she wants to stay with you.

[CylonGlitch]

The OP and his girlfriend are both 20, as he stated in his last post.

I'm getting the feeling that she "just doesn't want to do it yet" because of how much you've been pressuring her about it. She probably doesn't want to do it as long as it'll feel like something she has to do if she wants to stay with you.

Come on, she just doesn't want to do it WITH HIM. He'll show up at her place one day and she'll have some guy giving her the hokey pokey.

Just tell her you understand and want to respect her wishes. You guys have a great time together so you want to keep dating her but you will start dating other people as well. Leave it at that. Try to have fun, no need (at 20) to be tied to any one person.

[aloofman]

So just because he thinks she should be having sex, then she's lording it over him? It sounds like she just doesn't want sex now. What's so hard to understand about that? Some people wait.

You have 3 options
1) put up with it, learn to love her without sex.
2) nag.
3) let her find someone who is more compatible.

I didn't say it was hard to understand. And I didn't say it wasn't OK for her to wait. I said that they want two different things and it doesn't seem like that's going to change. If his description is accurate (and that's all we have to go by), then she's withholding it (again, completely her right to do so) and knows that he'll stick around anyway.

I disagree that #2 is an option. That doesn't help anything.

[iPhone 62S]

you're asking how to get laid on a Mac Rumors internet forum. Think about it.

Yeah, it's a bit like asking Tom Cruise about psychiatry :p

To be fair though, it's always easier and less embarasing to ask this stuff on the net (according to my ex-girlfriend anyway, who used Yahoo Answers to ask about relationship stuff).

[CylonGlitch]

To be fair though, it's always easier and less embarasing to ask this stuff on the net (according to my ex-girlfriend anyway, who used Yahoo Answers to ask about relationship stuff).

Plus there seems to be a good number of people here who are older (I know I'm pushing 40) who may have been around the block once or twice. Geeks Unite! :D Take care of our own.

[leekohler]

I'm 20. so's she. her "objections" are that she "just doesn't want to do it yet." it's not like she wants to wait for marriage. she's just taking her sweet time, which is fine if you're a girl... but she knows how much it's killing me and she won't just give in!!

Then go find another girlfriend. That's the only thing I can think of.

[Penser]

The OP and his girlfriend are both 20, as he stated in his last post.

I'm getting the feeling that she "just doesn't want to do it yet" because of how much you've been pressuring her about it. She probably doesn't want to do it as long as it'll feel like something she has to do if she wants to stay with you.

that doesnt even make sense!

[Penser]

She didn't finish the sentence.

"She just doesn't want to do it yet, WITH YOU!"

If you were someone she really thought highly of; wanted to spend her life with; or just thought were super hot, she'd be riding you like a pony.

Time to move on; she is sending you a clear signal. What is going to happen is that she'll keep stringing you along until she either gets tired of playing with you and leaves, or, more likely, finds someone who she IS hot for, gives him a free pass for "love" and doesn't mention a thing to you until you find out.

You are starting to sound like a doormat; stand up for yourself, dust yourself off and get out there and get back in the game.

are you really saying she would do it with another man? its just ME?

[jessica.]

The OP and his girlfriend are both 20, as he stated in his last post.

I'm getting the feeling that she "just doesn't want to do it yet" because of how much you've been pressuring her about it. She probably doesn't want to do it as long as it'll feel like something she has to do if she wants to stay with you.

that doesnt even make sense!


If that doesn't make sense then you have no business having sex with anyone. Seriously, that makes perfect sense.

But on the off chance that you are confused, perhaps your attitude repulses her. Ever thought of that? Or perhaps the mere fact that you would go online to a forum which you never went to before and register just to say your girlfriend won't give it up is something you do frequently and she doesn't feel like having her intimate life plastered all over the internet. I mean if that's not enough to not have sex with you then I don't know what is.

[Chaszmyr]

are you really saying she would do it with another man? its just ME?

Is it just you? Probably not. Is there a sense in which its you? Possibly.

I have found that when a girl says she's not ready (for dating, sex, whatever) it's usually not true. I'm not saying that they intentionally lie, but time and time again I've seen them make a very abrupt 180 once they meet the right guy.

[CylonGlitch]

Is it just you? Probably not. Is there a sense in which its you? Possibly.

I have found that when a girl says she's not ready (for dating, sex, whatever) it's usually not true. I'm not saying that they intentionally lie, but time and time again I've seen them make a very abrupt 180 once they meet the right guy.

Exactly. What is saying is that there is no "Chemistry" with you. She may WANT there to be, but it isn't. She may even love you, but for some reason, you just don't make her hot. Sometimes it's personality, sometimes it is passion, sometimes it is chemical, sometimes emotional. We never know, but yes, something isn't doing it for her. She could meet someone tomorrow who makes her tingle in all the right places, and she'll jump into bed with them. It's just the way it is.

I am also warning you, if you stick with her, long term, she'll eventually find someone else. Even if she starts giving it up to you, she'll be "missing" something.

BTW it is more her then you. She does it for you; but you don't do it for her.

Sorry that the truth is harsh. It is very true that, especially women, will know very early if they are going to sleep with you or not. If a month or two goes by and there is no "desire" there; it will never be.

[leekohler]

Good lord!

Three words!

FIND NEW GIRLFRIEND!

[rdowns]

.

http://accordionguy.blogware.com/Photos/2005/01/shes_just_not_that_into_you.jpg

[CylonGlitch]

Prediction Time.

The OP will stay with this girl and basically become her little puppy to toy with. She will never have sex with him, but she'll keep stringing him along playing her little game. She will start banging someone else (or already is) and even after he finds out, he will try to woo her. After a period of neglect, he will either go find someone else to latch onto, or continue to stalk her until she gets a restraining order. She will *NEVER* have sex with him.

Oh by the way, lemme guess, she isn't a virgin, right? Well, how would he know for sure?

[Wotan31]

She didn't finish the sentence.

"She just doesn't want to do it yet, WITH YOU!"

If you were someone she really thought highly of; wanted to spend her life with; or just thought were super hot, she'd be riding you like a pony.

Time to move on; she is sending you a clear signal.
Couldn't have said it better. x2 on everything ^^^. She doesn't want you. Women are like monkeys. The don't let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on the next.

[anjinha]

That's just ********, you guys disgust me!

[skunk]

Good grief. How has the human race got this far?

[DiamondMac]

You must really love her huh.

This had me laughing out loud

I couldn't imagine my g/f not giving it up for 2 weeks.....nonetheless 6 damn months

[NC MacGuy]

This had me laughing out loud

I couldn't imagine my g/f not giving it up for 2 weeks.....nonetheless 6 damn months

LOL all you want. You my friend are not marriage material.:p

[Mitthrawnuruodo]

Yeah... this started out poorly and then deteriorated beyond help, didn't it...?