Awimoway
Jul 29, 2004, 06:39 AM
These are the vital questions of life
The first question of life
Do you have something between you and your wife/husband/significant other/best friend/parent/sibling/child/etc. that you both know about but cannot ever bring up, and no fair saying yes or no unless you tell us something about it (you don't have to tell us all of it, if discretion is important.) I'm not talking secrets. I'm talking things you both agree to not talk about because it causes a war.
For example, one of mine is easy. I can't talk politics with my Dad. He can't handle it. He claims that those who aren't of his philosophy are biased and those of his political persuasion are all objective and honest. And since I am on the other side of the rail, I can't even speak my honest political opinions without royally pissing him off because it's all lies to him. So I just don't talk when he brings up politics.
Another example is game 7 of Lakers-Kings a couple years ago in the Western Conference championship. I hate the Lakers so bad and their fixed, rigged game 7 victory that I want to punch my Laker-loving best friend's smile right off his face when the subject of that game comes up. Other than that, we're thick as thieves. Just don't bring up the Lakers. It's me who's too sensitive in that situation. So whenever the Lakers comes up and leads to that game (which it often does), I have tell him to drop the subject or there will be trouble.
The second question of life
This one is far more important. On the rare chance you find yourself in a cornfield, or imagine yourself — purely for academic purposes of course — in a cornfield, which movie first comes to your mind?
1. You're Cary Grant and you're getting chased by a murderous conspiracy, leading you to, of all places, a Dakota cornfield. Then, suddenly, you get buzzed by a crop duster that sprays speeding bullets right at you.
2. You're Mel Gibson and you're scared ****less because you keep hearing whispering in the cornfields and the next step will land you in a mysteriously empty, round crop circle.
3. You're Kevin Costner and you're fixing a sprinkler or something in the middle of your cornfield and you hear a voice telling you to build "it." Or, better yet, you're the ghost of a Chicago Black Sox player and just before you disappear into the corn, you turn and say "I'm melting, I'm melting!" and then laugh like a lunkhead.
4. You're Mulder or Scully or whatever and you're running from bees or aliens or something. I can't remember. I only watched that movie once.
5. You're one of the creepy kids in Children of the Corn. Actually, I've never seen any of that movie. I just know it exists. I don't even know if it has creepy kids. Or, for that matter, a field of corn. But you still might think of it, so it stays on the list.
The third question of life
Oh, and the third question is whether there are any other movies with cornfield scenes that you can think of? I might have thought of one. It seems like early in Close Encounters the kid who runs out of his house and away from his mommy in the middle of the night eventually disappears into a cornfield.
Does Twister have any cornfield scenes? Would a better question be how many movies take place in the rural Midwest? Handicapper: How many movies set in the Midwest can you think of that don't have Kevin Costner in them? And I mean besides Wizard of Oz and The Straight Story because I already thought of them. Oz has cornfields, even, but Dorothy doesn't run through any, so it doesn't make the most honored list. Super-Duper handicapper: How many movies can you think of with cornfield scenes that do not take place in the N. American Midwest?
The first question of life
Do you have something between you and your wife/husband/significant other/best friend/parent/sibling/child/etc. that you both know about but cannot ever bring up, and no fair saying yes or no unless you tell us something about it (you don't have to tell us all of it, if discretion is important.) I'm not talking secrets. I'm talking things you both agree to not talk about because it causes a war.
For example, one of mine is easy. I can't talk politics with my Dad. He can't handle it. He claims that those who aren't of his philosophy are biased and those of his political persuasion are all objective and honest. And since I am on the other side of the rail, I can't even speak my honest political opinions without royally pissing him off because it's all lies to him. So I just don't talk when he brings up politics.
Another example is game 7 of Lakers-Kings a couple years ago in the Western Conference championship. I hate the Lakers so bad and their fixed, rigged game 7 victory that I want to punch my Laker-loving best friend's smile right off his face when the subject of that game comes up. Other than that, we're thick as thieves. Just don't bring up the Lakers. It's me who's too sensitive in that situation. So whenever the Lakers comes up and leads to that game (which it often does), I have tell him to drop the subject or there will be trouble.
The second question of life
This one is far more important. On the rare chance you find yourself in a cornfield, or imagine yourself — purely for academic purposes of course — in a cornfield, which movie first comes to your mind?
1. You're Cary Grant and you're getting chased by a murderous conspiracy, leading you to, of all places, a Dakota cornfield. Then, suddenly, you get buzzed by a crop duster that sprays speeding bullets right at you.
2. You're Mel Gibson and you're scared ****less because you keep hearing whispering in the cornfields and the next step will land you in a mysteriously empty, round crop circle.
3. You're Kevin Costner and you're fixing a sprinkler or something in the middle of your cornfield and you hear a voice telling you to build "it." Or, better yet, you're the ghost of a Chicago Black Sox player and just before you disappear into the corn, you turn and say "I'm melting, I'm melting!" and then laugh like a lunkhead.
4. You're Mulder or Scully or whatever and you're running from bees or aliens or something. I can't remember. I only watched that movie once.
5. You're one of the creepy kids in Children of the Corn. Actually, I've never seen any of that movie. I just know it exists. I don't even know if it has creepy kids. Or, for that matter, a field of corn. But you still might think of it, so it stays on the list.
The third question of life
Oh, and the third question is whether there are any other movies with cornfield scenes that you can think of? I might have thought of one. It seems like early in Close Encounters the kid who runs out of his house and away from his mommy in the middle of the night eventually disappears into a cornfield.
Does Twister have any cornfield scenes? Would a better question be how many movies take place in the rural Midwest? Handicapper: How many movies set in the Midwest can you think of that don't have Kevin Costner in them? And I mean besides Wizard of Oz and The Straight Story because I already thought of them. Oz has cornfields, even, but Dorothy doesn't run through any, so it doesn't make the most honored list. Super-Duper handicapper: How many movies can you think of with cornfield scenes that do not take place in the N. American Midwest?
