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Geert
Aug 5, 2002, 06:45 AM
This one is for Rower.

Apple Enlists Sun As Ally Against Microsoft.

Capping off several weeks of conflict between Apple and Microsoft, Cnet has learned that Apple is forging an alliance with Sun to develop an OS X version of Sun's StarOffice suite, a competitor to Microsoft Office. Crazy Apple Rumors Site has further learned that Apple and Sun, in an effort to perform an end-run around Microsoft, have entered into an agreement to bring two killer features to OS X: hot chicks and ninjas.

"Traditionally, our competition with Microsoft has centered around the operating system," Apple Senior Vice President for Software Development Avie Tevanian explained. "Sun has now entered into competition with them in the productivity application space."

Tevanian points out that the difficulty in competing with Microsoft in both those markets is that the company is already firmly entrenched.

"So we thought, what could we bring to OS X that is not even on Microsoft's radar?" Tevanian said.

In a series of "outside of the box" brainstorming sessions between Apple and Sun, the companies used their combined creative talent in an effort to leap-frog Microsoft. The result is a new agreement between the companies under which Sun will supply hot chicks and ninjas exclusively for OS X.

"This is a compelling value proposition," the San Jose Mercury News' Dan Gillmor said. "If I'm a computer buyer and I have a choice between a platform without hot chicks and ninjas and one with hot chicks and ninjas, which do you think I'll pick?"

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm picking hot chicks and ninjas."

Asked to explain the concept behind hot chicks and ninjas, Sun Executive Vice President Jonathan Schwartz said "The appeal of ninjas is universal. Ninjas are silent, deadly and disciplined. In short, they're bad-asses who seriously whale. People love these guys. And hot chicks? Well, that's fairly obvious."

A number of details remain to be worked out between the two companies before hot chicks and ninjas on OS X will become a reality. While the companies agree that these are the features that will finally put Microsoft on the defensive, there is a great level of uncertainty on how to best implement them on OS X. Sun believes they should exist as a series of Java extensions while Apple holds that they should be native Cocoa implementations.

Whatever the case, Gillmor believes Microsoft will be forced to follow suit and will find itself playing catch-up.

"Expect Microsoft to try to co-opt this announcement with one of its own about ugly chicks and gym teachers or something," Gillmor said. "They're always doing crap like that."

posted by CARS Staff | 7/29/2002

Nice article, can't wait to see the Ninja's in action ;)



mischief
Aug 5, 2002, 06:06 PM
Microsoft has announced ".hook" and "MS Thug" as a response to Apple's "Hot chicks" and "Ninjas" campaigns claiming that .hook and MS Thug are cheaper, easier to implement and can be assembled with locally available, inexpensive components.

However, neither .hook nor MS Thug can be implemented without a new Palladium compliant motherboard and a variety of licensing fees. " It may be required to have all .hook end users format, register and license their testicles with MS before accessing." Said Steve Ballmer when asked if there would be any variation from the propoganda when either service comes to light.

Beej
Aug 5, 2002, 06:24 PM
Do you think I can CTO 2 hot chicks with no ninjas?

mischief
Aug 5, 2002, 06:33 PM
Originally posted by Beej
Do you think I can CTO 2 hot chicks with no ninjas?

Nope, The Ninjas are part of OS X's new security features and the Hot Chicks are an addon to the GUI (Pron. Gooey) that don't often fuction well sharing the same user.... Conversely Hot Chicks work well with multiple Users as long as the Users/Shared/Chicks/Jealousy file is deleted.

There is a freeware mod available for the Opensource Darwin Ninjas Beta called JSBSB/X that sets the Ninjas to seek out and kill SPAMmers and offensive BBS posters. :D

Rower_CPU
Aug 5, 2002, 06:57 PM
Hell yeah!!!

I heard the Ninjas Beta (Codenamed "Dark Shadow") is out on HL or Carracho right now...I'm all over it!:D

Geert
Aug 6, 2002, 01:01 AM
Originally posted by mischief


Nope, The Ninjas are part of OS X's new security features and the Hot Chicks are an addon to the GUI (Pron. Gooey) that don't often fuction well sharing the same user.... Conversely Hot Chicks work well with multiple Users as long as the Users/Shared/Chicks/Jealousy file is deleted.

There is a freeware mod available for the Opensource Darwin Ninjas Beta called JSBSB/X that sets the Ninjas to seek out and kill SPAMmers and offensive BBS posters. :D

:D :D
New hack released, Users/share chicks.
:D :D

Royal Pineapple
Aug 6, 2002, 01:30 AM
Originally posted by mischief

(Pron. Gooey)
Hot chicks
dyslexeia
the word "gooey"
the abrivation "Pron."

can you see where this is going?
;) the mind of a 16 year old ;)

Geert
Aug 6, 2002, 02:41 AM
Originally posted by Royal Pineapple

Hot chicks
dyslexeia
the word "gooey"
the abrivation "Pron."

can you see where this is going?
;) the mind of a 16 year old ;)

I'm in the dark here, can someone explain me what I'm missing?
:confused:

Rower_CPU
Aug 6, 2002, 10:25 AM
I think it's mostly the double connotation of GUI when pronounced "gooey".

If you don't get it, don't worry. English is a weird language...especially in the hands of a teenager.:p

Royal Pineapple
Aug 6, 2002, 08:30 PM
Originally posted by Geert


I'm in the dark here, can someone explain me what I'm missing?
:confused: its ok, no one will hold it against you
i must have wrote this before i got some coffee in my system or late at night.i dont recall which

mischief
Aug 7, 2002, 02:42 PM
Not to be out-done by M$ and Apple, Linux developpers have instituted a"Kama-Sutra and Ninjitsu" project in which Linux users can download opensource materials to be/get their own "Hot Chicks and Ninjas" without the fees.

Unfortunately the program assumes the User is fluent in both Japanese and Sanskrit.:D

Ifeelbloated
Aug 7, 2002, 02:56 PM
You've been visiting www.theonion.com too much haven't you?

mischief
Aug 7, 2002, 03:20 PM
Originally posted by Ifeelbloated
You've been visiting www.theonion.com too much haven't you?

No, as anyone I've ever worked with can attest... I can ad-lib that stuff ALL DAY.