I don't have a newer Macbook but I'd wager that it's not blocking VLC so much as the recent versions of VLC have been rather wobbly in general when it comes to DVD playback. It might be worth trying a much older version of the app and trashing your VLC prefs, then trying again.
I'm actually in R2 but my drive is set to R1 because I collect a lot of anime, so I often have to go through this and actually switching the drive region isn't an option for me either. There are some discs which just will not play gracefully in VLC and cause the crashes you describe for no real reason. The software is quite glitchy. For example almost none of my Beez discs (Bandai UK) play at all for some reason without some serious help.
One other thing you can do it rip the disc temporarily (I use Mactheripper) and try playing from your hard drive. Much, much more stable performance. It also strips the region code if you ask it to which might help. Then just delete the copy you made when you're done with it. It's a hassle but might be worth a try to see if it's just VLC choking on a particular disc or a real problem.
I note that I'm not condoning any illegal hijinks with this suggestions, it's just something I've found useful with problem discs in the past.
Failing that your best bet is probably trying to get xvi's Region X working. I could never do it as I'm on PPC and can't flash my drive for this particular machine but you might have more luck...
